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Honky Kong
  • 6/4/2025
Original Broadcast Date: June 8th 2012

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TV
Transcript
00:00Good evening. Tonight I'll be looking at pornography, but first I've got a show to do.
00:06I'm Sean McAuliffe and I'm as mad as hell.
00:30Thank you very much, thank you. Can I just say before we begin, although I've only been a TV journalist for two weeks, and yes I'm very good at it, and yes I'm a masterful interviewer,
00:59and yes, that's what they say on Twitter, that I'm a good-looking version of George Clooney.
01:04I accept all that, but I really do have a long way to go before I have that lovable, world-weary, nothing-will-surprise-me news veteran cynicism of someone like, say, Liz Hayes.
01:14You know, I'm still shocked when the media turns the spotlight on itself, you know.
01:19It gets dazzled, the media does, and not only can't it quite get a bead on itself with its shotgun, it can't drive the pickup truck properly either.
01:27Blinded and confused, it crashes into a tree and blows up.
01:31And one of those explosions got my goat this week, and it wasn't pretty.
01:34I've got to tell you, I was plenty enraged. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to start the program like this.
01:40But it was all about a fellow newsman, a fellow newsman who I love, and an online publisher, and his name is Julian Assange.
01:52Yeah. The WikiLeaks founder, like the Eurovision trophy, looks like he's on his way to Sweden.
01:59The difference, of course, is that Julian Assange is actually wanted there.
02:06For those who don't know, last week Sweden argued that its extradition request was properly issued,
02:13and the full bench of the appeals court agreed by five to two.
02:16Obviously, they wanted the rest of the afternoon off.
02:20Anyway, for the last 12 months, Assange has been in the UK, and has spent some of that time living with Geoffrey Robertson QC,
02:27and his wife, Cathy Lett. But obviously, that may change soon.
02:31Assange supporter Verity, do you think that Julian has been treated fairly?
02:36Well, Sean, sharing a house with Cathy Lett does seem like a particularly harsh penalty.
02:41Yeah, I quite agree.
02:43Especially given he hasn't ever been charged yet.
02:45Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all those puns. We're thin after a while, wouldn't it?
02:48I mean, I think it's only fair, should he eventually receive a jail term,
02:51that any time spent living with Cathy Lett be deducted from his sentence.
02:55Thank you, Verity.
02:57I mean, I'd rather be waterboarded.
02:59I said thank you, Verity.
03:01Department of Foreign Affairs Thorold Munch, a lot of people think the government aren't doing enough to help Julian Assange.
03:10Not true. We're giving him full consular support.
03:13And what does that mean?
03:14It means he is receiving consular services.
03:17Yes, and what does that mean, though?
03:19It means his console is being fully serviced.
03:26His console?
03:27Yes, it'll be fully serviced every day.
03:29What, fresh linen, that sort of thing?
03:31Yes, and sachets of tea and coffee.
03:35Thank you very much, Mr Munch.
03:36Can I just say, Sean, any suggestion that the government knows anything at all about some sealed US indictment against Mr Assange
03:44that would require his extradition from Sweden to the United States to face charges of espionage and conspiracy is not true.
03:51And even if it were true, it's sealed, so we can't read it until they let us.
03:58And quite frankly, Sean, I'm surprised that you would even raise that question on a taxpayer-funded broadcaster.
04:06I didn't raise it.
04:08But if you did, I would be surprised.
04:12Thank you, Verity.
04:15When the media eats one of its own, it isn't long before it disagrees with itself.
04:19Sure, the resulting belch makes for electrifying talkback radio, but what are the costs?
04:24And it's not just the young online Turks who are in trouble, some of the old guard too, Francis Greenslade.
04:31Politics and the media are strange bedfellows.
04:35But Rupert Murdoch denies any physical contact.
04:38I don't ask any politician to scratch my back.
04:40But whether he asked Brit or not, former editors of News of the World, Rebecca Brooks and Andy Coulson,
04:47seemed to have arranged to have it scratched for him anyway,
04:50and by no lesser hands than those on the arms of current and former British PMs David Cameron and Tony Blair.
04:57The concept of cosiness is not quite the way I would put it.
05:00While both deny their fingerprints are on Murdoch's back,
05:04those same prints are almost certainly on the fingers they are pointing at their respective directors of communication,
05:10Andy Coulson and Alistair Campbell.
05:12That Andy Coulson is both a former News of the World editor and a former director of communications,
05:18has him pointing his own finger at his own fingers.
05:22An impossibility as plausible as his denial of conflict of interest,
05:25which in turn is as believable as his evidence under oath that he didn't commit perjury.
05:31If Rupert Murdoch's back is a smoking gun,
05:34then it may well be because David Cameron's culture minister, Jeremy Hunt,
05:38had been scratching it too hard.
05:41Though a spokesman for Hunt stands by this explanation.
05:46Nonetheless, the media mogul, found by a parliamentary committee
05:50to be not a fit person to run even News Corp,
05:53has found himself at least walking quickly to the Leveson inquiry to defend his methods.
05:59But the question remains, did Rupert Murdoch ever need to go cup in hand to number 10,
06:05as Jeremy Hunt seems to have done in this footage?
06:08But then again, appearances can be deceiving.
06:12The closure of the News of the World has been the most significant blow to the Murdoch name
06:16since the continued publication of the Herald Sun.
06:20I'm joined now by Communication Minister Stephen Conroy,
06:23Senior Policy Advisor Ms Martina Aylian,
06:26and from New York, former editor of the Daily Mirror Piers Morgan.
06:30Ms Aylian, if I could start with you.
06:32In the light of what we've just heard from the Leveson inquiry,
06:35should David Cameron's government rescind Rupert Murdoch's broadcasting licence?
06:40Well, that's not a question for me, that's a question for the British government,
06:42and I'm sure they'll consider it very carefully.
06:45Yes, but do you think Murdoch's stake in BSkyB should be allowed to stand?
06:49Well, as I say, that's not a question for me, that's a question for them.
06:52Well, it's my question, I think I'm entitled to put it to whomever I like.
06:56But it's not a question for me.
06:57Well, yes it is, I just put it to you.
06:59No, it's a question for the British government.
07:02I wrote these questions.
07:04I know who they're for, this one has your name on it.
07:06Well, why did you ask me here to ask me other people's questions?
07:08Exactly, that's my question to you.
07:10No, that's my question to you.
07:11No, that's my question to you.
07:12No, that's my question to you.
07:13No, that's my question to you, get your own questions.
07:15But you won't answer my questions.
07:17Because they're for other people.
07:19OK.
07:21What would you do if a phone hacking scandal was discovered in Australia?
07:25Well, again, that's another question for the British government.
07:28How could it be a question for them?
07:30Simply by asking them.
07:32Why should I ask them about a scandal in Australia?
07:35Well, again, that's another question for them.
07:36So you want me to ask them why I should ask them about a scandal in Australia,
07:43and then ask them what you'd do about a scandal in Australia?
07:46Well, what question do you choose to ask the British government?
07:48It's not a question for me, that's a question for you.
07:51Well, what would be a question for you then?
07:53Well, that was one.
07:55I was perfectly happy to answer that.
07:57Piers Morgan, thankfully you have already received a list of the questions I'm about to ask you,
08:02and have kindly agreed to answer them.
08:04No, I did not.
08:11Sean?
08:13Thanks, Francis.
08:14Well, the print media is one thing, but what about pictures?
08:18They say the camera never lies, but what about when your subject does nothing but?
08:21Rebecca Polidori meets a photographer with a unique angle on our MPs.
08:26We've all done it, scrolled through the photographs page on the Parliament of Australia website.
08:32But have you ever wondered who took the photographs in the first place?
08:36Chances are, if you're this man, you'd already know the answer.
08:39And it'd be your name, Anders Krill, because you're the photographer who took them.
08:46I've been working with members of the House of Reps and Senators for five years now.
08:50I try and capture the head and the shoulders of the politician.
08:55I try and make all the photographs the same shape, rectangle.
08:58Obviously the work I do for the website is very different from what I would do for, say, a billboard.
09:04How?
09:05The size, mainly.
09:07I try and make the pictures a lot bigger for the billboards than for the website.
09:10It doesn't always work.
09:11Someone like, say, Kelvin Thompson or Burt Van Manen actually benefit from being a lot smaller on the billboards than on the website.
09:17Anders has worked internationally with some of the world's most beautiful politicians.
09:23Italy's La Cicciolina, Ukrainian bad girl Yulia Timoshenko and Russian activist Ksenia Sobchek to name but these.
09:31But the only pollies he's been able to get to take their tops off are Vladimir Putin and Tony Abbott.
09:37A chance to work with Greens leader Christine Milne produces breathtaking results.
09:44Close to the tree. Close to the tree.
09:45Yeah, yeah.
09:48And although Anders enjoys shooting politicians, and who wouldn't, he doesn't take sides.
09:54After a morning with Christine Milne, he's still got energy for an afternoon with Erica Betts,
09:59who wants a new portrait done for his electoral office window.
10:02Anders has some ideas for the shoot when he arrives.
10:06But in the end, it's the head and shoulder shot that's most spurbinding.
10:09An exhibition of Anders Krill's work, Australian Politicians in Alphabetical Order, can be seen at the National Gallery of Victoria until August.
10:19Rebecca Polidor, mad as hell.
10:22It's a fake beer.
10:23It's a fake beer.
10:24Mmm.
10:25Well if Four Corners is the true home of investigative journalism, then I like to think of mad as hell as its beach house.
10:31The Four Corners expose on people smuggling this week really made people sit up and say,
10:38Jesus H Christ on a bike.
10:41And that's toning it down a bit in Chris Bowen's case.
10:44If you didn't see the story, it's all about a people smuggling kingpin named Captain Emad.
10:48In 2010 AD, he captained a boat of refugees to Australia, but when authorities arrived, he passed himself off as a passenger.
10:58Now I would have thought the name Captain Emad might have aroused their suspicions, but apparently not.
11:03Captain Emad now collects supermarket shopping trolleys.
11:07Nice to have a hobby, and I wish him well with it.
11:10But what concerns Four Corners is that he also operates a clandestine people smuggling business from a Canberra suburb.
11:19And so it's my pleasure to announce that Captain Emad is the mad as hell small businessman of the week.
11:28And of course he, yes certainly please.
11:32Captain Emad. Captain Emad as hell.
11:35And of course he goes into the running to win the Small Businessman of the Year award if he can avoid authorities and keep his turnover under $5 million.
11:43Well in another fascinating story on Sky News this time a few days ago, and I don't mind saluting the flagship of another news broadcaster when they do a great job, because they did a great job.
11:55In this story New South Wales police seized 142 guns in a Sydney raid.
11:59Now the story showed police destroying the seized guns with saws and hammers, and I thought, well that's a fittingly violent end for weapons, capable of such destruction.
12:10Nice metaphor. Enjoy it.
12:11But what I totally liked about the story was the attention to detail. I was like, oh my god. This is where Sky News, in my view, shits all over its less sophisticated opposition.
12:24Where the ABC or almost any other news service would have just left it there and assumed arrogantly that the public knew what guns were and how they operated.
12:34Sky News showed that they're there to educate as well as inform. Actual reporter Dimity Clancy continues.
12:40But gangs are using guns like these.
12:45Wow. Bang. It all falls into place, doesn't it? Guns are dangerous. Stuff comes out the end of them.
12:51See, do we, I wonder, I'm curious, do we have a reverse angle on that?
12:55Could we roll that footage again if we have the split and just show the reverse angle? Can we see that again?
12:59Oh!
13:02Oh!
13:03Oh, f**k!
13:06Got me, you bitch!
13:08Oh, f**k!
13:10Oh, f**k!
13:12Oh!
13:13Mmm, powerful stuff there. Powerful stuff.
13:16Jack Crater, you were the sound man.
13:19You were the sound man for Sky News on that particular shoot.
13:22Do you think that Dimity's report brought home just how dangerous guns can be?
13:25Oh, yeah.
13:26All I can say is thank God she was wearing those safety glasses.
13:31You're quite right. Thanks, Jack.
13:33And well done, well done Dimity Clancy.
13:36This is not often wrong and I smell a Walkley.
13:40Still to come.
13:43Great Barrier Reef can go to hell, says Campbell Newman.
13:47Alright Egypt, you win, we'll hang Mubarak.
13:51And after being awarded his Iron Cross,
13:53former Prime Minister John Howard stays on for the Jubilee celebrations,
13:57vowing to do all he can to prevent these boats reaching the Australian mainland.
14:02Yeah.
14:06John Howard.
14:07You know, you know what?
14:08I've got to admit, I miss him.
14:11I miss John. Who's with me?
14:13Who?
14:14Really?
14:16No, that's great.
14:18You know what I miss?
14:20You know what, I'm telling you.
14:22I've won these guys over, I think I need to work on you guys.
14:24What I miss is his steadfast stewardship.
14:27You know, you knew where you stood with John Howard.
14:29And you know, doesn't he look very handsome without his glasses these days?
14:32Yeah, I'm not going to wear mine anymore either.
14:35I only wore them to look cool.
14:38We'll be back right after this.
14:39Hold on to your funny bones this week, as our former Prime Minister learns that our quarterly growth rate is the envy of the world.
14:54And that this is translating into an increase in government approval.
14:58Oh, that's a rough end of the pineapple.
15:01I was just saying, well...
15:03Outrageous political satire that'll leave you shaking your head.
15:07Back benched, Wednesdays at 8.30.
15:14Wow, a commercial shoot.
15:16I wonder what I'm supposed to do.
15:19Alright, I think we're ready for take.
15:21Okay, stand by everyone, this is a take.
15:23Take?
15:24What does she mean, take?
15:26And what am I supposed to do with this thing?
15:28Okay.
15:30Rolling up.
15:31Hmm.
15:32What am I supposed to do now?
15:33Nothing.
15:34Oh!
15:36Oh!
15:38Oh!
15:40Oh!
15:42Oh!
15:44Oh!
15:47Still to come, Captain Imad makes good his escape.
15:51Tony Abbott's completely shellfish.
15:54Claims soon to be sacked comedy writer.
15:57And millions expected to witness the transit of Venus in Indonesia,
16:02as it boards a boat bound for Christmas Island.
16:08Thank you very much.
16:10Now, we've looked at the media a bit tonight,
16:13but what do people think about things that aren't the media?
16:16Things that are other things?
16:18We ask them.
16:19The problem with the death penalty is that it just doesn't go far enough.
16:23There's a guy on this street that sells drugs every day with absolutely no attempt to conceal it.
16:28Over there, have a look.
16:33I could count on the fingers of one hand the times I've been able to see both sides of an argument.
16:37On the other hand, there are five more fingers unaccounted for.
16:43Well, what I say to those people who point to our misconduct, to our cover-ups and to our inability to accept responsibility,
16:51is that it's very rude to point.
16:53Well, politics now, and the polls say that if an election were held tomorrow, we'd all be quite surprised,
16:59because there's been no official announcement or anything.
17:01Will the nation's next Prime Minister be Tony Abbott or Julia Gillard?
17:06Probably. Or maybe not.
17:08One person who might have the answer is, uh, Cloris Webler, who is in our audience.
17:14Where are you, Cloris?
17:16Here I am, Sean.
17:18Now, Cloris, I understand that you have a special gift or something, is that right?
17:20Yes, Sean. I've predicted the results of every federal election in this nation, Australia, since 1955, incorrectly.
17:31Right, I see. So, whoever you voted for, lost.
17:34I'm the opposite of Eden Monaro, a sort of anti-Bellwether.
17:38Alright, so we have Menzies, Holt, Gorton, Whitlam, Fraser, Hawke, Keating, Howard, Rudd and Gillard.
17:45Didn't vote for any of them.
17:46Well, I suppose a big question, then, Cloris, is who are you going to vote for in the next election?
17:51Well, I want to be on the winning side this time, Sean.
17:54Sure. So I'm going to vote for the worst candidate, the person least capable of leading Australia.
17:59I want to vote for the person who will likely go down as the most unimpressive Prime Minister.
18:05Alright, and who's that going to be?
18:07Oh, too close to call at the moment, Sean.
18:10Fair enough. Thank you very much for your time, Cloris. Thank you.
18:18Overseas now, and Ireland has signed the EU Fiscal Treaty to stave off bankruptcy,
18:23and Spain seems likely to play ball as well.
18:25But what about our old pals in Greece?
18:28What happens if they don't pay back the 130 billion euros they owe to Germany?
18:33It's a question I should probably put to the spokesman for the German Interior Minister, Hans-Peter Gruber, rather than you folks at home.
18:40Hans-Peter, did you hear my question, or do I have to repeat it?
18:44Well, Sean, it would be just like if you had borrowed some money from someone and then could not repay it.
18:50Alright, so you would have me declared bankrupt, for example?
18:54Regrettably, yes. And then the people to whom you owed the money would appoint an administrator who would come in and run the business properly.
19:03Alright, so I could trade my way out of it?
19:05Yeah, exactly. And failing that, the liquidators would have to come in and strip the assets and sell them off to repay the debt.
19:13Alright, so Germany would move in and take over the running of the country?
19:18Yes, but you are making it sound like this is a bad thing that we are doing.
19:24Well, it's very much like an occupation, isn't it?
19:27Well, it is like... It would be more like the Occupy Movement.
19:33An Occupy Greece Movement?
19:35Yeah, yeah, quite friendly. And instead of gathering in the parks and the streets, we would be in the government building offices.
19:46And if taxation and user-based amenities didn't bring in enough money, you would, what?
19:52We would loot the country of its treasures.
19:55But this will not be happening for a long time, Sean. The negotiations and diplomatic protocol to be followed.
20:05And I suppose on the plus side for Greece is that if you leave it low enough, the value of the euro will be so low that they'll owe a lot less than 130 billion.
20:14Yeah. That is a very good point.
20:18Actually, speaking of Germany reminds me of Nietzsche, which reminds me of the nation of Supermen, and also reminds me of Superman.
20:27And that gets me onto Superman 3, alright?
20:30Now, in Superman 3, Superman splits in two and his good and evil selves fight to the death in a junkyard.
20:37Now, Qantas has done very much the same thing in the last couple of weeks.
20:40And there is the added question of whether reducing its maintenance staff will, like that special chamber in the Fortress of Solitude, affect its ability to fly.
20:51But my concern, my chief concern this week, is the human element.
20:55Pilots.
20:59Now, being a pilot is not easy.
21:01There are so many unforeseen circumstances to contend with, like drunkenness, or being too busy texting that you forget to put down the landing gear.
21:19Or waking up after a nap and mistaking the planet Venus for another airplane.
21:24You know, it happens.
21:28Desiree Fulton takes up, up the story and away.
21:35A perfect approach.
21:37But they don't all necessarily end up that way, does it?
21:42Just like the small flame in your gas heater or hot water service,
21:46some pilots need to occasionally be reignited by repeatedly pressing a button.
21:51Peggy Lichen is the finger on that button.
21:55Cas's pilot refresher course here at Avalon.
21:58So, this is a planet.
22:00And this is a plane.
22:03Now, they do sound similar, but there's a T at the end of one of the words, yeah?
22:08Planet.
22:10Plane.
22:12Say it with me.
22:14Planet.
22:16Planet.
22:18Planet.
22:19Planet.
22:21It's like Sean said in his introduction, sometimes there's unforeseen circumstances and you've got to deal with them.
22:25Well, this was recorded about a week before Sean did that introduction, so there's no way you could have heard him say that.
22:32Oh, right. Sorry.
22:34I mean, it's just good to get back to basics.
22:37You know, you've been in the job for a few years and you start to forget things.
22:39Things like don't try and land in a hurricane, don't fire a gun in the cockpit and don't land your plane on high-tension power lines.
22:49Yeah, especially that last one, no matter how safe it looks.
22:51No, no, I did that voiceover back in the studio. There's no way you could have heard that.
22:57All right. Sorry, I keep forgetting.
23:01Hopefully the pilots won't keep forgetting the lessons learned here today, or Australia's plane inhabiting passengers will have a lot to answer for it.
23:09Any questions?
23:10Desiree Fulton in a voiceover booth for Murder's Hell.
23:15Powerful stuff.
23:17Well, finally, the Queen. She's been it for 60 years.
23:21And this week saw much rejoicing in that millstone.
23:25Prince Philip couldn't join in on all the celebrations owing to problems with the royal we.
23:29But on the plus side, as a former resident of Greece, I'm sure he's glad he made that smart financial move years ago to leave home and get married.
23:37Royal Watcher Game March. Did you get back to London to enjoy the festivities?
23:42Oh, I didn't, Sean, no.
23:44But Hubby and I did get to watch it down at the Ant and Elephant, washed out with lashings of warm beer and big lumps of black pudding and spotted dick.
23:56How horrible.
23:58That's right, Sean.
23:59The Diamond Jubilee was four days of celebrations the like of which London will never see again until the Olympics in about seven weeks.
24:09The Queen began festivities by indulging one of her favourite passions.
24:13Firing cannons at the West Indian community.
24:17But even expat West Indians couldn't help but be swept up in the euphoria of the Jubilee celebrations.
24:22She don't mean anything to us.
24:25From there, the reign of Her Majesty was honoured by actual reign on Her Majesty, followed by the most spectacular nautical event seen in London since the 2009 Birdman rally.
24:36Crowds gathered to cheer on their monarch, while others stayed at home and held lavish feasts, some even dressing up as dogs.
24:44These brazen snipers took up position along the Thames, but their plans were thwarted as their attention was drawn to a decoy queen arranged by MI5.
24:55Other monarchs came from all over Europe to celebrate the occasion, which was capped off perfectly when the Queen won the Royal Derby at Exum.
25:04And the Tower Bridge was destroyed by terrorists.
25:08Wow, makes you proud to be a British colony, doesn't it?
25:10And also, Sean, as part of the celebrations, Buckingham Palace has released never before wanted to be seen footage of the royal family. Home movies.
25:21Really? Yeah.
25:23Here we've got some footage showing a young Prince Charles being teased by his mother, being pushed over by his mother, being forced to walk home backwards from the beach by his mother.
25:33And, in an early form of waterboarding, being buried up to his neck next to an attack dog, again, by his mother.
25:43Yeah. It's a tradition that carries on even to this day, with the Queen continuing to torture Charles by refusing to abdicate.
25:50Well, tradition's important, isn't it?
25:53Yes, isn't it, Sean?
25:55Yes, indeed.
25:57Well, not coming up, not coming up because we've run out of time.
26:00My hero John Howard looks fantastic after his laser eye surgery, and original Thunderbirds villain sets record price at auction.
26:11Well, so ends a week in which the market slipped further and faster than a vaselined blob of mercury on a Teflon-coated luge circuit.
26:19On Monday alone, $23 billion was wiped off its value. To give you an idea of how much money that is, if Gina Reinhart had lost that much herself, she'd be down to her last $6 billion.
26:32And if Peter Slipper had lost it, it'd be claimed under catering, travel expenses and new robes.
26:38Here's tomorrow's talkback.
26:40Well, I don't mind Phil Gorg and Ray Warren doing Channel 9's bidding on the pokies legislation during the NRL, because I'm just glad to see some scripted Australian content on Channel 9.
26:54I see Captain Emad has smuggled himself out of the country. It's good to know Ashmore Reef's a two-way street.
27:00Hi, Alan. Look, I'd just like to add my name to the list of women who haven't slept with Craig Thompson, and I love doing Annie, by the way.
27:07Jeez, Sean, you're hard to find on the radio. Anyway, mate reckons that drones are killing dozens of people overseas, so I'm not listening to 2GB anymore. It's too risky.
27:17Giant baby.
27:24Copyright 2012. All right then, Christine, come on, pout for me. Yeah, that's it, yeah. Oh, that's good, yeah.