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Honky Kong
  • 6/4/2025
Original Broadcast Date: June 22nd 2012

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00I've done it.
00:16I have done it.
00:21What is it, Dr. Saul?
00:23Max! Max! I've done it!
00:24I've done it!
00:25Tell me! Tell me!
00:27Have a look for yourself!
00:30I've invented polio!
00:33The polio vaccine? That's wonderful!
00:35No! No! Polio!
00:37You can check my notes if you don't believe me.
00:39What? The actual disease? Polio?
00:41Well, I haven't even begun to consider its uses, but yes, I suppose.
00:45Polio is a virus that's been around for years.
00:47It kills and cripples 45,000 people a year in this country.
00:51We're supposed to be finding a cure for it.
00:54Right. This was in the memo, was it?
00:57Of course.
00:57Two days' work wasted.
01:04What are you doing?
01:05Starting again, my friend.
01:08Starting again.
01:09That'll get into the waterways!
01:11I washed it out.
01:11Polio is a waterborne virus.
01:14You'll infect thousands of people doing that.
01:16All right.
01:17I'll disinfect it then, Mr. Wizard Boy.
01:21Not enough you have to rain on my parade.
01:23Now you have to humiliate me.
01:25If I didn't know you better, Max,
01:26I'd suspect you of professional jealousy.
01:29Jealous at a superior scientific ability.
01:31Are you cleaning out that sink with anthrax?
01:40Yes?
01:41Oh, my God.
01:42We ran out of bubonic plague yesterday!
01:44You know, if I wasn't such a nice guy,
01:50I would be as mad as hell!
02:22Thank you very much.
02:30I've got to be honest with you,
02:31and you folks at home too,
02:33and I tell you that I don't feel angry at all
02:36about anything this week.
02:37I mean, I will confess to you
02:38that I am guilty of envy.
02:40I'm guilty of that.
02:41Envy, but not anger.
02:42And I'm not a big fan of envy.
02:44Don't like it very much, really.
02:45I mean, I look at the seven deadly sins
02:46and I think, gosh,
02:47I wish I were guilty of one of those other ones.
02:49I mean, I had thought of being guilty of sloth
02:52instead of envy,
02:53but in the end,
02:53I just couldn't be bothered changing it.
02:55And almost this week,
02:57almost, I almost felt pride this week
02:59when I was watching our PM
03:00striding the international stage,
03:02telling Europe how to run their countries properly.
03:05She spoke beautifully too, I thought.
03:06I only winced twice, I think.
03:08Although the gloss was taken off it slightly
03:10because she had to do it from Mexico,
03:12which is a very stupid country.
03:14Upside down exclamation marks.
03:15And how dare Europe say
03:18it doesn't need a lesson in how to run an economy?
03:20That's like the Hindenburg saying
03:21it doesn't need to take part in a fire drill.
03:25So, um,
03:26so of what or whom am I envious?
03:29I hear you ask in my mind's eye.
03:31Yes, it can lip read.
03:33Well, let me answer you with my actual mouth.
03:35It's Mexico's next door neighbour,
03:37the place Europe is blaming
03:38for all of its troubles,
03:39America.
03:41Everything just seems better over there.
03:43People are more beautiful
03:44and the clothes are great,
03:45music's tremendous,
03:46movies are all blockbusters
03:47and everybody's rich and successful,
03:49lives in big houses
03:50and all the dance moves
03:51are really bitching, you know?
03:54Yeah, this dance move particularly.
03:57People, people just seem generally more together
03:59and with it and actually engage with life, you know?
04:01I've never been there,
04:02I'm just going on what I see on the television.
04:04It's pretty impressive.
04:05And I think, I think America's greatness
04:07is a sort of trickle-down effect
04:09from the very top.
04:10America has this really young, cool president
04:12who can, who can do this.
04:14Yeah!
04:16I mean, the best we got
04:17in terms of ball handling skills
04:19is the leader of the opposition.
04:26But, but Australian politics generally
04:28is a bit dull
04:29and not just in comparison with America,
04:31but really anywhere in the world.
04:33Even the opposite of America,
04:34Russia, is more interesting.
04:37There's a regular ceremony
04:38they have in Russian parliament.
04:39Have a look at this.
04:40Pomp and ceremony is not to be sneezed at.
04:46Or if you do, you need a lace hanky
04:47with your initials monogrammed in the corner.
04:50Actually, here's the Ukrainian parliament,
04:52very big on tradition,
04:53discussing how to deal with all the violence
04:54they've been facing during Euro 2012.
04:56Yes, pageantry is very important, isn't it?
05:06Now, unfortunately, I can't show you
05:08any footage of Australian parliament
05:09because it's so tedious,
05:11there's a, there's a law
05:12preventing me from broadcasting it on television.
05:14By comparison, what's going on
05:16in Papua New Guinea's parliamentary chamber
05:17is at the moment far more interesting.
05:19You know, the only one
05:22who ever seemed to put any effort in
05:23was Peter Slipper.
05:25You know, he put on a cloak
05:26and the traditional evening wear
05:28of a Transylvanian nobleman.
05:30But all of this pales into insignificance
05:33when you compare us with
05:34how much bigger and more impressive
05:35everything is in America.
05:36We may not have been able
05:37to spell Barrick properly
05:39on a commemorative mug,
05:40but they can't even spell the name
05:41of their own country right
05:42on a Mitt Romney phone app.
05:44I mean, even when it comes
05:46to multi-billion dollar financial losses,
05:48the best we can do,
05:48according to no lesser authority,
05:50and it's hard to think of one
05:51than Peter Costello,
05:52is Queensland in the hole last week
05:54for $100 billion.
05:57Now, I know that sounds like a lot,
05:58but that's an entire state.
06:00So that's about 4.5 million people.
06:03So that's, that's only about
06:05that much.
06:09Now, in the US, one guy,
06:11one guy, Alan Stanford,
06:13Texas billionaire,
06:14stole $7 billion from,
06:16from his clients in a Ponzi scheme.
06:18110 years in jail.
06:19Look how happy he is there.
06:21Smart lawyer.
06:22He'll be out in 90.
06:23I mean, the best we could do
06:25was Alan Bond.
06:26Ode about the same amount.
06:28Four years.
06:31Incidentally,
06:32business affairs reporter,
06:33Jocelyn Stick,
06:34what is a Ponzi scheme?
06:35Well, Sean,
06:36if you invest,
06:37say, $1,000
06:38into my non-existent company
06:39and I pay you a dividend
06:40of $500 the next week,
06:42but I do so
06:43from the investment
06:43of someone else
06:44I've already duped,
06:45well, that's a Ponzi scheme.
06:47I pay dividends
06:48from what new investors
06:48give me,
06:49but nothing's actually made.
06:51No profit is actually generated.
06:53It's still pretty good, though,
06:53isn't it?
06:54A dividend of $500 a week.
06:55It's very impressive.
06:56Yes, but it is a fraud.
06:58I'm just paying $500
07:00out of a portion
07:00of what I've leased investors for
07:02to keep you ploughing money
07:04into the scam.
07:05Yeah, it's still pretty good returns.
07:06It's only $1,000 investment.
07:09Yeah, it sounds really attractive,
07:11but when the investment slows,
07:13the money dries up,
07:14no more dividends,
07:15and I disappear with what's left.
07:17I'm in.
07:19Let's talk after the show.
07:20Thank you very much indeed.
07:21Very, very interesting.
07:23But I must say
07:24our Prime Minister
07:24has one thing
07:25no American president
07:26has ever had,
07:27with the possible exception
07:28of Gerald Ford.
07:29An extra X chromosome.
07:30Julia Gillard is a woman.
07:33She admits it,
07:34she's proud of it,
07:35and I admire her for it.
07:36And this week,
07:38she raised the topic
07:39of the glass ceiling.
07:41Now, according to the PM,
07:43the glass ceiling is cracked,
07:45but not yet shattered.
07:46Is that a good thing,
07:47spokesperson for women
07:48in the workplace,
07:49Sandy Appleby?
07:50Well, if the glass ceiling
07:51is cracked,
07:51then that's a great concern
07:52for all of the men
07:53standing on the glass
07:54mezzanine above it.
07:56When they fall through,
07:57they're going to land
07:57on all of those women
07:58who for years
07:59have been standing
08:00on each other
08:00in order to get high enough
08:01to reach that ceiling
08:02in the first place.
08:04Perhaps rather than
08:04breaking through
08:05the glass ceiling,
08:06it would have been
08:06a better idea
08:07to have installed
08:07a skylight or
08:08some sort of trapdoor.
08:10Why isn't there
08:10an escalator or a lift
08:11to get to that
08:12glass mezzanine?
08:13Well, exactly.
08:14And why'd they make it
08:15out of glass
08:15in the first place?
08:16I mean, you'd be able
08:17to see all of the
08:17electrical cabling
08:18and the plumbing.
08:19Plus, there's no carpeting.
08:20People on the ground floor
08:21would be able to see
08:22up your trouser leg.
08:23Well, isn't that the problem,
08:24though, do you think?
08:24Do you know where
08:25the blue stocking movement
08:26is at its strongest?
08:28The gusset?
08:30With the people.
08:32Sure.
08:32Merit has nothing
08:33to do with gender.
08:35Do you know that
08:35only 3% of the ASX 200
08:37have female company directors?
08:39The current ratio
08:40of women on boards
08:41stands at just 14%.
08:43Well, perhaps
08:43if they stood on boards,
08:44they wouldn't need
08:45to stand on each other
08:45to reach the glass ceiling.
08:47Do you mean that literally
08:48or metaphorically?
08:49I have no idea.
08:51I don't presume
08:51to speak on behalf
08:52of all women,
08:53and I have no doubt
08:54at all that they would
08:55agree with me 100%
08:56about that.
08:58Thank you, Verity.
08:59Of course,
09:00the exception that
09:00proves the rule
09:01is Gina Reinhart.
09:04The richest woman
09:05in the world.
09:06She sits on many boards
09:07and looks like
09:07getting a couple of seats
09:08at Fairfax.
09:09One to sit on
09:10and one to put her feet
09:11up on, like an ottoman.
09:12And how better
09:13to explain Gina's
09:14rise to power
09:15not with mere words
09:16but through the prism
09:17of pop culture.
09:18Excuse me.
09:24Doesn't make any sense
09:25on this angle.
09:26Gina Reinhart's
09:27rise to power
09:27is very much like
09:28the great film
09:29Citizen Kane.
09:30Gina Reinhart
09:31is Charles Foster Kane
09:32who inherits
09:33a multi-million dollar
09:34mining fortune
09:35and thinks it'd be fun
09:36to run a newspaper.
09:38But things go bad
09:39when Kane Gina
09:40tries to meddle in politics.
09:41How many people
09:42have seen Citizen Kane?
09:44Hands up?
09:46There's not enough.
09:47I need a more
09:49popular cultural reference.
09:52God, alright.
09:52Forget it, forget it.
09:55Gina Reinhart
09:56is like Seth Rogen
09:58in the Green Hornet.
10:00Seth Gina
10:01inherits a fortune
10:02from a multi-millionaire
10:03father who wants
10:04to run a newspaper
10:05but has a secret agenda
10:06to get rid of
10:07the Russian mafia.
10:08No, that doesn't work,
10:09does it?
10:11Equating the Russian mafia
10:12with the anti-mining lobby
10:13doesn't make any sense.
10:14Although that would make
10:15a great headline in the age.
10:17I reckon Ross Gittins
10:18would do it.
10:19Of course,
10:20he'd have to do it
10:20in a New Zealand accent.
10:21Anyway, forget about that,
10:22forget about that.
10:23Forget about that.
10:24I got one.
10:25Gina Reinhart's
10:26takeover bid for Fairfax
10:27is like the film version
10:28of Rock of Ages.
10:30A terrible idea.
10:31Let's leave it at that.
10:32But let's get back to America
10:38where they don't have
10:39any billionaire Australians
10:41meddling in the media.
10:43No, no, no, no, no.
10:44Rupert Murdoch
10:45is an American citizen,
10:46all right?
10:46He's their problem.
10:50Actually, actually,
10:50let's go to South America,
10:52all right?
10:52Very, very popular
10:53at the moment.
10:54Julian Assange
10:54wants to go to Ecuador
10:55and our PM is in Rio
10:57celebrating the 20th anniversary
10:58of the original Earth Summit.
11:00There's been a lot of changes
11:01environmentally since 1992.
11:03Here's what acid rain
11:04has done to the
11:05Christ the Redeemer statue.
11:09But I think it's a great idea
11:11to hold the anniversary
11:12of saving our planet now
11:13because according to my
11:14Mayan calendar app,
11:16the world is going to end
11:17on the 21st of December.
11:19But one man in the
11:20New South Wales high country
11:21has the lowdown
11:22on what happens
11:22when the balloon goes up.
11:24Toffee Gorgon.
11:26Yeah, so here it is.
11:27Took me a while to dig it.
11:28For the past 15 years,
11:30unemployed telemarketer
11:31Craig Javello
11:31has been preparing
11:33for an Armageddon.
11:34Much of his time
11:35and most of his life savings
11:37have gone into this
11:38survival bunker
11:38on his mother's property.
11:40Yeah, just come through.
11:41This is it.
11:42So we've got
11:43bunks here,
11:46main entertainment area there
11:47and of course
11:48the all-important food supply
11:50and lots of it too.
11:53You know,
11:54you don't know how long
11:54you're going to be down here
11:55so you've got to plan ahead
11:56and think about
11:58every eventuality.
11:59So, I mean,
12:00you're not worried
12:01that most,
12:01if not all of this food
12:02is highly perishable?
12:05Processed food
12:05is full of preservatives
12:07and our health
12:07is very important to me,
12:09particularly if I'm going
12:10to repopulate the planet.
12:15Do you think that meat
12:16should be refrigerated?
12:18No electricity
12:19in a nuclear winter,
12:20city girl.
12:20Here, have some cake.
12:22In the months
12:23and perhaps years
12:24he will spend underground,
12:25Craig Javello
12:26has much to occupy him.
12:28For companionship,
12:29his 17-year-old dog,
12:30Talos.
12:31For fitness,
12:32a table tennis table.
12:34And to stimulate the brain,
12:36reading material.
12:37Space is at a premium
12:38down here
12:39and ground negative zero
12:40so no room
12:41for actual books.
12:41But I'll be downloading
12:43everything I want
12:44onto my Kindle
12:45as the mood takes me.
12:47And you're not worried
12:48about the lack of internet?
12:49As long as I've got
12:50my e-books,
12:50I'll be right.
12:51But Craig Javello
12:52needs to survive
12:53more than just
12:54solitude and hunger.
12:55He must also
12:56survive the elements.
12:58Cooling and heatings,
12:59all looked after.
13:00I've got 300 litres
13:01of already recycled water
13:02and an ice cube maker.
13:04And over there,
13:05beautiful open fireplace.
13:08Yeah, no chimney though.
13:09Yeah, council wouldn't
13:10have proved it.
13:11I'm hoping the magic
13:13trees over the dunny
13:13will absorb the smell though.
13:16Craig Javello
13:16has invited me
13:17to spend the night
13:18with him in his bunker
13:19to test it out
13:20and experience
13:20what the end of the world
13:21might be like.
13:23I declined.
13:26Tuffy Gorgon
13:26reporting from
13:27Mad as Hell.
13:29Thank you, Tuffy.
13:30Tuffy Gorgon there
13:31reporting from
13:31Mad as Hell
13:32as she just said.
13:33And a postscript
13:34to that story.
13:35Within an hour
13:36of entering his bunker
13:37for the test,
13:38Craig Javello
13:39was rushed to hospital
13:40suffering from botulism
13:41smoke inhalation
13:42rabies.
13:46Not funny,
13:47not funny rabies.
13:48Bullet wounds
13:49and dysentery.
13:53He is not expected
13:55to survive.
13:57And I guess the
13:58I guess the old days
14:00of the old fashioned
14:00monthly wall calendars
14:02are numbered.
14:03Pretty pointless
14:04if they weren't,
14:04I guess.
14:06Gay marriage.
14:08Two words which,
14:09unlike those
14:09who'd like to participate
14:10in it,
14:11don't go together,
14:12it seems.
14:13Francis Greenslater's
14:14more.
14:19While two private
14:20members bills
14:21to legalise
14:21same-sex marriage
14:22this week
14:23were defeated,
14:24the advocates
14:24for what people
14:25privately do
14:26with their members
14:27are anything but.
14:28Joining us
14:29are child psychologist
14:30Heather Snap,
14:31Sonia D'Artagnan
14:33from Families
14:33for Family-Friendly
14:35Australian Families,
14:36owner-manager of
14:37Gloria Jean's
14:38Fruville,
14:39Marlon Manson,
14:40and sister
14:40Mary Louise
14:41Pierre-Oben,
14:42whose hit version
14:43of the Nicene Creed
14:44rocketed up the charts
14:45back in 1973.
14:47Sonia, you first.
14:49Why shouldn't
14:49same-gender couples
14:51be allowed to marry?
14:52Because the dictionary
14:53definition of marriage
14:54is between a man
14:55and a woman.
14:56Well, actually,
14:56according to the
14:57Macquarie Dictionary,
14:58it's any intimate union.
15:00Oh, I thought
15:00that was the definition
15:01of the HSU
15:02when Craig Thompson
15:02was there.
15:05Marlon,
15:06mono-attractoids
15:08can be joined together
15:09in a civil ceremony.
15:10Why shouldn't
15:11we recognise
15:12that relationship
15:13under matrimonial law?
15:14Well, I'm okay
15:15with civil ceremonies.
15:16I just don't think
15:17we should call it marriage.
15:18Well, why not?
15:19Do we need a new word
15:20for mortgage
15:21or home and contents insurance
15:22if they're taken out
15:23by non-heterogeneous couples?
15:25Well, it's well established
15:26that the building blocks
15:27of society are families
15:29and marriage
15:30is the basis of family.
15:32So we need to protect marriage
15:34because our research
15:35actually shows
15:36that marriage
15:37is good for children.
15:39Controversial stuff.
15:40Sister Mary,
15:40should children
15:41be allowed to marry?
15:44No, no, no.
15:44I was saying
15:46that children
15:46should have a mother
15:47and a father.
15:48All children
15:49have a mother
15:49and a father,
15:50don't they?
15:50Some turkeys
15:51are born parthenogenetically.
15:53I think gay marriage
15:55is all right
15:55if a gay man
15:56marries a gay woman.
15:58Well, yes,
15:59but that's a marriage
15:59that's unlikely
16:00to be consummated,
16:01isn't it?
16:02I mean,
16:02there'll be no issue
16:03and our research
16:04has actually shown
16:05that being born
16:06is very important
16:07for children.
16:09What about
16:10if the couple
16:10were bisexual?
16:11Then they could
16:12have children.
16:12That would be okay.
16:13Marlon,
16:14would the Gloria Jeans
16:16franchise
16:16accept same-sex marriage
16:18if both parties
16:19were heterosexual?
16:21What?
16:21Two heterosexual men
16:22getting married?
16:24Or non-men.
16:26I guess that would be okay.
16:28So it's just like
16:28companionship, yeah?
16:29Sure,
16:30they'd have a lot in common,
16:31they just wouldn't
16:32be attracted physically.
16:33Yeah.
16:33Are you all right
16:34with that, Heather?
16:35Providing there were
16:36children from a previous marriage.
16:37Because our research
16:38actually shows
16:39that children
16:39from a previous marriage
16:40are very important
16:41to divorce parents.
16:43So,
16:43a loving relationship
16:44between two people
16:45of like
16:46chromosomicality
16:47is okay...
16:48Providing there's
16:48no intimacy
16:49at all.
16:51Right.
16:52Does the absence
16:53of sex
16:53satisfy you,
16:54sister?
16:55Oh,
16:55absolutely.
16:57Problem solved.
16:58Sean.
16:58Thank you,
17:00Francis.
17:00Coming up
17:01after the break,
17:02Canada's border
17:03protection officers
17:04send a legal
17:05American immigrant
17:06back where he came from.
17:07And I speak
17:08to union spokesman
17:09Graham Spalding
17:11about the anger
17:12felt by hundreds
17:12of Fairfax employees.
17:14Oh,
17:14the workers are annoyed
17:15because they work
17:17for a media company
17:18and they found out
17:19about their jobs
17:19going via a media company.
17:21Yeah,
17:21but you want the media company
17:22you work for
17:22to be the first
17:23with the news,
17:23wouldn't you?
17:24Well,
17:24not when it's your own job.
17:26They shouldn't have
17:26told the media first.
17:27Yeah,
17:27but they are the media.
17:28They can't not
17:29have told themselves.
17:30You want Fairfax
17:30to somehow be unaware
17:31of what they're doing?
17:32Well,
17:32they've been unaware
17:33for some time.
17:34Haven't you seen
17:34The Share Price?
17:43This Friday
17:43on an all-new
17:45Miss Fisher murder mystery.
17:48Who is it,
17:48Constable?
17:49It's ABC's
17:50Wednesday night comedy line-up,
17:51I'm afraid,
17:51Miss Fisher.
17:52If only you were on
17:53somewhere during its time slot.
17:54I'm not a comedy,
17:55Constable.
17:56Despite my outrageous
17:57performance,
17:58any suspects?
17:59I don't think you can blame
18:00one particular program,
18:01ma'am.
18:02The TV viewing landscape
18:03has changed dramatically
18:03since the digital channels came.
18:05Oh,
18:05poppycock.
18:06Adam Hills
18:07is responsible for this.
18:08If he hadn't decided
18:09to do in Gordon Street tonight,
18:11he'd still be doing
18:12spics and specs.
18:13Arrest him at once.
18:14But Miss Fisher,
18:14if only you were on
18:15after randling.
18:17I'll tell you
18:18one last time,
18:19Constable.
18:19I am a deadly,
18:21serious drama
18:22with proper acting.
18:24It's Friday nights for me
18:25or it's nothing.
18:29Miss Fisher murder mysteries,
18:31Friday night,
18:328.30.
18:33Gina Reinhart
18:45may have broken
18:46through the glass ceiling
18:47but she's also put up
18:48a paywall at Fairfax
18:49and she's re-landscaped
18:50the mining industry
18:51as we know it.
18:52Transporting workforces
18:53to remote locations
18:55has created
18:55some new industrial jargon.
18:57Elaine Feelings
18:58explains some of them
18:59to us.
19:00Well, Sean,
19:00the best known
19:01of the acronyms
19:01is of course
19:02the FIFO,
19:03meaning fly-in,
19:04fly-out worker.
19:05A more specific
19:05subgroup of the FIFO
19:07are those workers
19:07who helicopter in
19:08and helicopter out,
19:10the HIHO,
19:11who are traditionally
19:11shorter minors.
19:13Some employees
19:14prefer to cab it in
19:15and cab it out,
19:16the so-called sickos
19:17or perhaps you are
19:18a Tito
19:19if you train it in
19:20and train it out
19:21or if you're
19:22the first Yugoslavian
19:23president.
19:24Now, Sean,
19:25can you work out
19:26what this one
19:27would be referring to?
19:27Uh, drive-in,
19:29drive-out?
19:30No, she's a singer.
19:34My mistake.
19:35And finally,
19:36there's the workers
19:36who like to take
19:37the escalator into work
19:38and the escalator
19:39immediately out,
19:40the EIEIO.
19:42Sean?
19:43Thank you very much,
19:44Elaine.
19:44But now,
19:45let's see what's
19:46at the top of the
19:46Vox Pops.
19:47No, I don't think
19:58it's a good idea.
20:00It's better that we
20:02support our local
20:03citrus growers.
20:05Well, I don't think
20:06you should even try
20:06to put them together
20:07because there's always
20:08going to be problems,
20:09isn't there?
20:09I mean, we tried it
20:10before and they didn't
20:12fit and they're never
20:13going to fit.
20:13So we just took
20:15the shells back to
20:16Ikea and demanded
20:16a refund,
20:17didn't we?
20:19Allowing priests
20:20to marry does not
20:21make any sense
20:22unless you first
20:22allow them to be
20:23homosexual.
20:29Sports next,
20:29and because I can't
20:30stand it,
20:31let's cross to
20:31London's Olympic
20:32Stadium where most
20:33of the ABC's
20:33sports commentary
20:34and facilities budget
20:35has been eaten up
20:36for the next two years.
20:37Thanks, Sean.
20:39Well, a slow day
20:40in Olympic Stadium
20:41with the game
20:42still several weeks
20:43away, so we've
20:44mainly been playing
20:45with the Thesaurus app
20:46on our phones,
20:47seeing who can compile
20:48the biggest list
20:49of superlatives
20:50that we can use
20:50when our Aussie
20:51champions fly home
20:52with the gulls.
20:53Can't wait to hear
20:54them, Maggie.
20:54Anything else?
20:55Yeah, also been on
20:56the Cats That Look
20:57Like Kerry O'Brien
20:58website.
20:59Check it out.
21:04Very impressive.
21:05Anything sports
21:07related, Maggie?
21:08Oh, yeah, according
21:08to CNN, which we've
21:09got hooked up here,
21:10Webb Simpson won
21:11the US Open.
21:13Yeah, I said
21:13sports related, Maggie.
21:15Yeah, golf is
21:15technically a sport,
21:16Sean, despite the
21:17fact that you can
21:18smoke while doing it.
21:19It's like darts
21:20and motocross.
21:21Unfortunately, we
21:21don't have any footage
21:22of the win because
21:23the hard drive's full.
21:24We've been IQ-ing
21:25Lara Bingle.
21:26Words not often
21:27heard in the same
21:28sentence.
21:29We did YouTube
21:30Simpson's debut
21:31at the Masters
21:32back in April.
21:33He didn't get to
21:33don that famous
21:34Shamrock Green
21:35jacket on that
21:36occasion, but we
21:37did find some
21:37great footage of
21:38what happens in
21:39the clubhouse in
21:40the last few
21:40desperate moments
21:41of the tournament.
21:44Is it still
21:45Luke McDonald?
21:46McEnroe just got a
21:46birdie on the
21:4717th.
21:47Oh, shit!
21:48I'll have to take
21:49the waist in and
21:50let the arms down.
21:50Hang on, hang on.
21:51Lee Westwood just
21:52got onto the green.
21:53It's an easy putt
21:53and he's two under
21:54par.
21:54Oh, it's a 44 waist!
21:56I'll have to start
21:56again.
21:56You just put a
21:57bench in the back of
21:58that.
21:58No, no, no, it's
21:58not going to work on
21:59the shoulders.
21:59It'll still bunch up.
22:00Hang on, hang on.
22:02John Daly just got an
22:03eagle on the 18th.
22:04Jesus Christ.
22:06Order me five more
22:06bolts of fabric.
22:09John Daly.
22:21And we apologise to
22:22any Channel 9 viewers
22:23who may be watching
22:24and were offended by
22:25images of a woman
22:26talking about sport.
22:31Time now to focus on
22:33our often overlooked
22:34members of federal
22:34parliament, the
22:35unsung Sioux Chies of
22:36parliament working
22:37away in the background
22:38without the perks of a
22:39cabinet portfolio.
22:40This week it's a
22:41Queensland Labour
22:42backbencher by the
22:43name of Kevin Rudd.
22:51Kevin Rudd is the
22:52member for Griffith.
22:53Kevin has always been
22:55a team player,
22:56preferring to work away
22:57quietly in the
22:58background.
22:59Hi Possums, how are
23:00you?
23:00Helping his local
23:01constituents and his
23:02party in whichever way
23:03he can.
23:04Recently, in response to
23:06a local cafe owner's
23:07question about food
23:08handling regulations,
23:10he visited Pope
23:11Benedict for
23:11discussions.
23:13And when another
23:14distressed female
23:14constituent asked him
23:16if he could do
23:16something about a
23:17particularly dangerous
23:18intersection in her
23:19neighbourhood, Kevin
23:20consulted President
23:21Obama on her behalf.
23:23Kevin enjoys having a
23:25low profile and has no
23:27ambition to any higher
23:28office in the Labour
23:29party.
23:30Kevin lists his
23:31interests as family,
23:32travel and revenge.
23:33applause
23:40Well, I think at the end of
23:41the day, as opposed to the
23:42end of days, most of us want
23:43to live free and happy
23:44lives, and those who don't
23:46should be forced to,
23:47whether they like it or not.
23:49Or should they?
23:50That's something we examine
23:51now in a new segment called
23:52Hey No Nanny State.
23:54Hey No Nanny
23:55OK, smoking.
24:00Now, I don't smoke.
24:01It's not something I would do,
24:02but I defend to your death
24:04the right to do it if you
24:05want.
24:06And while I don't think any of
24:07us want to live in a Nanny
24:07State where our freedoms and
24:09our rights and our choices
24:10are homogenised into some sort
24:11of bland health shake, we do
24:13need some sort of government
24:14control because a lot of you
24:15people out there are idiots.
24:17OK, so restriction one.
24:20You can only smoke tobacco
24:21in certain areas, though most
24:23people confine themselves to
24:24their mouth.
24:25OK, that's reasonable.
24:27Restriction two.
24:28You can't advertise it.
24:29And now manufacturers are very
24:30limited in terms of what they
24:31can do with designs and
24:32packagings.
24:33Now, I guess I come down in
24:35favour of some sort of
24:35government regulation on
24:36cigarette packaging.
24:37But I do think this one is
24:39too big.
24:41I mean, I mean, it's probably
24:43counterproductive because you're
24:44going to need more cigarettes to
24:45fill it up.
24:46So it's a Hey Nanny No from
24:48me.
24:50Hey Nanny, hey Nanny, hey.
24:54OK, next one is safety on
24:56public transport.
24:58You see that?
25:00It's disgraceful.
25:02Violence has no place in our
25:03society or on our trains.
25:05Where does it come from?
25:06Probably an iPhone, judging
25:07from the quality.
25:09There are calls for federal and
25:10state authorities to up the
25:12number of transit police on our
25:13trains and buses.
25:14But, you know, I think they're
25:15already crowded enough as it is.
25:17And even if they stand there
25:18holding onto the strap, the very
25:19presence on board of an armed law
25:21enforcement officer makes me feel
25:23uncomfortable.
25:23That's why I think we should
25:24adopt the method transit police
25:26are trialling in Vietnam.
25:31I know I'd feel a lot safer and
25:34there's more room for fair
25:35evaders.
25:35So that's a Hey Nanny Yes from
25:37me.
25:38Finally, former Chief Justice of the
25:44Family Court Alastair Nicholson says
25:46there should be a law whereby parents
25:48of school bullies can be sued.
25:49Now, I don't think that's a good
25:51idea.
25:51That's one thing I don't envy about
25:52America, this litigious streak that
25:54runs through the entire culture.
25:55I think the party should be able to get
25:57together and talk about the problem and
25:58resolve it amicably, which is why I've
26:00asked onto the program someone who
26:02bullied me at school many years ago,
26:04Belinda Tenduka.
26:05Hey, it's been a long time.
26:08Yes, it has been a long time.
26:09It has been a long time, Belinda.
26:10I want to talk first generally about
26:12bullying, dunking pigtails in ink and
26:15making jokes about body odour,
26:17pouring a bucket of blood on somebody
26:19at the prom.
26:21You did all these things to me.
26:24Why did you do that?
26:25Well, because I'll be honest, I had a
26:27massive crush on you and you know when
26:29you're a kid and you don't know how to
26:30express your emotions and it just comes
26:31out, you know, you just tease the other
26:33person? Anyway, I'm glad I got to tell you.
26:36Well, I'm glad you told me.
26:38I didn't realise you had a crush on me.
26:40Because I had a crush on you too.
26:43As if I had a crush on you.
26:48Sure.
26:55Yeah, I've changed my mind.
26:58Suing school bullies.
26:59That's a hey nanny, yes.
27:00Hey nanny, hey nanny.
27:02Not coming up because we've run out of time.
27:05Torbay or not Torbay?
27:07That is the question.
27:09And China's first woman in space.
27:11One way of breaking through the glass ceiling.
27:13And so ends a week in which Aung San Suu Kyi
27:19travelled to Oslo to pick up her Nobel Peace Prize.
27:22It's ridiculous, isn't it?
27:23If Coles and Woolworths can do home delivery,
27:25I can't see why the Nobel Foundation can't.
27:27Plus, the award was from 1991,
27:29so I certainly hope they kept it in the fridge.
27:32Here's tomorrow's talkback.
27:33Oh, thanks for taking my call, Sean.
27:35Can I just say that News Limited
27:37is the most accurate name for a company I've ever heard of.
27:41And all the best to Black Caviar.
27:43Oh, hello, Sean.
27:44Now that Bogans have gotten into the Oxford English Dictionary,
27:46will all the other words have to be mispronounced?
27:49And best luck, Black Caviar.
27:51Tony Abbott's jumping on sponges is typical class warfare.
27:55Paul Keating was right.
27:56He is a pre-Copernicus obscurantist.
27:59Go, Black Caviar!
28:02Giant baby.
28:02Australian Broadcasting Corporation, copyright 2012.