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  • 18/05/2025

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Fun
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00:00Now my old darling, they've laid her down to rest
00:08And now I'm missing her with all me heart
00:11But they don't give her monkeys down at the HSS
00:15And they've gone and I'll be pensioned for a start
00:18So it won't be very long before I'm by her side
00:23Cos I'll probably starve to death, that's what I'll do
00:26For richer or poorer, I'm bloody poorer, that's a fag
00:30Just cos in sickness and in ill-foss it all do
00:33In sickness and in ill-foss it all do
00:39Where you been? I've been shouting for you!
00:47Shouting for me, have you? For hours!
00:49I was down in the shops. It's a wonder I never heard you. I was only five streets away.
00:54Well, I ain't had no breakfast.
00:55Oh, I'm slacking, ain't I?
00:58Well, I've been waiting hours!
00:59I know what I'll do, I'll get a tracksuit and running shoes
01:02That's what took the time, you see, I walked, I should have run
01:04I've known it to be sarky
01:06I'm not being sarky, I'm neglecting you, ain't I?
01:09You shouldn't have to sit here shouting for your breakfast
01:12It's not fair, she'll be already waiting for you
01:14I'll go and cook it for you now
01:16Shall I run a bath for you while you're waiting?
01:19There's a button over my coat too
01:21Never mind, I bought a new one
01:22New one?
01:24Yeah, I popped into a jumble sale while I was out
01:27Jumble sale?
01:29I'm not wearing cast off
01:31Bloody secondhand clothes, poo
01:33You're wearing, look
01:35Fitz?
01:43Hmm
01:45Must have been in Old Soldiers
01:49Hero, more like
01:50Look at them medals
01:54Oh, I'll soon have them on
01:55No
01:55No, leave them
02:01Dad
02:09Stand on this
02:11Can I make the breakfast?
02:24Yes, Colonel
02:25Eyes left
02:28All right, all right, a few here, mate.
02:53He's my friend.
02:54I always sits next to him.
02:55All right, all right.
02:57Take your turn.
02:59You want to reserve a place?
03:01Come early.
03:02Don't come rushing up late to expect to jump the queue.
03:05We got here early, mate.
03:06You get here early.
03:08Come on, I'm out, call it.
03:10Let him wait his turn.
03:11All right, Mr. Argreaves, you go through.
03:13Never mind about him.
03:14I'll see to him.
03:15Go on, you enjoy the game.
03:17Hey, fair is fair.
03:18I was here before him.
03:19He's been coming here for years.
03:21Him and his friend always sit together.
03:22I've been coming here for years, too.
03:24I haven't seen you before.
03:25I've never seen you before, but don't they say you've never been here, does it?
03:28I know all my Invalides.
03:29Well, you don't know me, do you?
03:31No, that's right.
03:32I don't know you.
03:33Big mouth.
03:34Anyway, don't matter.
03:35I've never been here in my wheelchair before, see?
03:39Normally, I struggle up to the stands on my crutches.
03:42I don't like to take advantage.
03:43Not like some of them do.
03:45Well, come on, push me in.
03:47The teens will be coming out in a minute.
03:48I'd like to see them run out.
03:49Yeah, just a minute.
03:50You've got a ticket.
03:51Ticket?
03:52Ticket?
03:52He don't hear.
03:53He's with me.
03:54He's my sofa.
03:55No, you can't come in here.
03:56Why not?
03:57You've got to will yourself in.
03:58Oh, that's marvellous, isn't it, hey?
04:00Hey, you want to do him out of a job, is that it?
04:02We ain't got enough unemployment.
04:04You want to do him out of a job.
04:05What's it?
04:05Because he's black, is he?
04:06Oh, he's got nothing to do with him being black.
04:09Nothing to do.
04:10Yeah.
04:10They all say that, don't they, hey?
04:12We've got blackies playing for this team.
04:14We've always had blackies playing for this team.
04:17But you don't like blackies watching them, do you?
04:20Yeah, well, I'll be getting it to wonder
04:22whether you're entitled to go in here in that chair.
04:24What do you say?
04:25What?
04:26Never mind.
04:27What do you say?
04:28Entitled.
04:30Entitled.
04:31These are my entitlement, mate.
04:34I can't move them.
04:35I'm crippled.
04:36I can't move them legs.
04:38They are my entitlement.
04:39You can't move them?
04:40I can't walk on them, can I?
04:43They're useless.
04:44Don't you talk to me about entitlements.
04:46Look at that.
04:46Look at that.
04:47What do you think I've got that for, mate?
04:49I fought.
04:50I fought.
04:51It was up to my neck, you muck and bullies.
04:53Well, I fought too.
04:54We all fought.
04:55Not as hard as that.
04:56You never fought.
04:57Very few people fought as hard as that.
05:00These ain't half right, mate.
05:03There's no other side.
05:05You leave your legs on a foreign battlefield.
05:08When you come home, this is how they treat you.
05:11Didn't leave your legs anywhere.
05:12You still got your legs.
05:14I might have left them.
05:15It's only a miracle of modern surgery.
05:17I still got them, innit?
05:20As it is, I'll never walk on them again.
05:24Fair, innit?
05:26Not any fair.
05:27You give your life for king country,
05:30and this is how they treat you.
05:31You give what?
05:32No.
05:34They're coming out.
05:38A miracle.
05:40Look at me.
05:42Behold.
05:43A miracle.
05:45In the cell, I'll never walk again.
05:48Hallelujah.
05:49Come on, you eyes.
05:52Come on, you eyes.
05:53Come on, you eyes.
05:54Come on, you eyes.
05:54Come on, you eyes.
05:55Come on, you eyes.
05:56Come on, you eyes.
05:57Come on, you eyes.
06:00Who's that blackie we've got playing for us now?
06:09Parrish.
06:09It's a good player, innit?
06:11Good player, blimey.
06:13We had better blackies than that playing for us.
06:16Clyde Best was better than that.
06:18And he was no bloody good.
06:20West Ham's first club to have blackies playing for them
06:23used to get them off the boats.
06:24Never got my minor football boots.
06:27Just laced up their toes.
06:28You sick of me.
06:34Look, get on the pavement.
06:36Look, why not?
06:37No, I hurt.
06:38Stop messing with that.
06:40Bloody fool.
06:41Stop it.
06:42You tried to.
06:44You tried to kill me.
06:46Bloody fool.
06:47Stop it.
06:50Mind what you're doing, you bloody idiot.
06:52This chair should have been sent back to the council
06:55for someone who needs it.
06:56I need it.
06:57Just to cheat your way to the football grounds.
06:59That's all you need it for.
07:00Making out you're a big war hero.
07:02Lord God.
07:03He didn't know I wasn't a war hero, did he?
07:05I'm patriotic swine.
07:08You fight for your country.
07:09And that's the way they treat you.
07:11Yeah, but you didn't fight, did you?
07:12And they're not your medals, are they?
07:14Yeah, that's not the point.
07:15He didn't know that, did he?
07:16I was wearing a war hero's coat.
07:18I was wearing war hero's medals.
07:21Nobody there knows that I wasn't in.
07:23Yeah, well, you're a fake sitting in that chair now.
07:26And I'm pushing you.
07:26Why are you doing no?
07:27Because there's nothing wrong with your legs.
07:29Don't you tell me about my legs.
07:31What do you know about my legs?
07:33I'm the only one who knows what my legs are, mate,
07:35and they're going.
07:36They're mine laughing.
07:38They're on the way out, aren't they?
07:40They're fading.
07:41I can feel the strength ebbing its way out of them.
07:44Well, prevention's better than cure, isn't it?
07:47I am thinking of the health service, not thinking of me.
07:50Me.
07:51You don't have to be bureaucratic
07:53and wait until I can't walk on them at all
07:55before I get a wheelchair,
07:56like they've done with me poor wife.
07:58Catch them early.
08:00That's what I'm doing.
08:01Don't make the same mistake twice, do you?
08:03Catch them early.
08:05That is the way to save the health service money.
08:08I'm thinking of them, not me.
08:09Oh, you stuck that in my window.
08:18Who put that poster in my window?
08:20I see West Ham lost.
08:21That's got nothing to do with it.
08:24I'm not having Labour posters in my window.
08:27I don't vote for them,
08:28and I ain't going to advertise them.
08:30I vote for them, and Winston votes for them.
08:32Well, I don't vote for them,
08:34and it's my window, innit?
08:35Fascists!
08:38Fascists? With them!
08:41Might be your window, but it's a free country.
08:44Yeah, well, it might be a free country out there, my dear,
08:47but in here, this is my home.
08:50You said it was my home.
08:52You said, come here and live with me.
08:54This is your home, your real home.
08:56So it is.
08:57And I'm not allowed to put a poster in the window.
08:59You come home here and live, my dear.
09:01You can have your own window, stick your posters in.
09:03Whoa!
09:04Oh, if I came and lived here.
09:08This, no, this is where my window would be.
09:12In the kitchen.
09:13Tied for the bloody washing machine and the cooker.
09:17Same as it was for Mum,
09:18same as it is for any woman who's fool enough to live with a man.
09:22Here we go.
09:22Here we go.
09:23Here we go.
09:25Here we go.
09:26Bloody women's lib again.
09:28What?
09:28Take that off.
09:31For your information, my dear.
09:34When you marry a man,
09:35and I don't mean that scarcely about you're married to a real man,
09:38that's what I'm talking about.
09:39One like you, you mean.
09:41Shut up, you.
09:43I mean, say a thing.
09:44Facts.
09:45Facts, my dear.
09:46Your women's lib close their eyes to ease.
09:48Who is it?
09:49Who is it goes out into the real world,
09:51the odd world,
09:52outside of the cozy comfort of her home,
09:55and slaves for your woman, eh?
09:56And who is it who slaves like an unpaid lackey
10:00in the cozy comfort of his home?
10:02And who is it goes out and slaves to pay the rent for his home
10:04so it can be cozy comfortable, eh?
10:06It's old.
10:07And hers and hers is she wants to live with him.
10:09Shut up, you.
10:11It's not her.
10:11It's next door.
10:12He works his fingers to the bone.
10:14He does to...
10:15That's her.
10:16Works his fingers to the bone to keep a roof over her head.
10:19But no, blimey,
10:20your women's lib don't take no account of that.
10:22No, that's just what's expected of him, eh?
10:24And who is expected to fetch and carry for him, eh?
10:27Oh, and who is expected to clove and to feed her?
10:32And what is he expected to do?
10:33Is he expected to come home and cook his own dinner
10:36when he comes home from work, eh?
10:38What, keep a dog and bark yourself?
10:40Dog!
10:41Dog!
10:42Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
10:43A dog to cook and clean for you.
10:46A domestic animal who'd wag its tail
10:48every time its lord master came and pissed from...
10:51You wash your mouth, eh!
10:52I was spending half his money boozing with his old cronies.
10:56A dog!
10:57A dog would be more grateful.
10:59A dog would know what side his bread was buttered.
11:01Oh, it's marvellous, anyway.
11:02I mean, little did I know when I was creating you
11:05that I was making a rob for my own back.
11:07I mean, you want children, yes.
11:08You struggle for them, against all adversities,
11:11to bring them up, wanted and loved,
11:13to dote upon them, to provide for them.
11:16I've worked.
11:17As he is my witness, I've...
11:19I've worked hard, I did.
11:26I didn't have much, but what I had was brought into this house
11:29and spent upon you and your mother.
11:32Yes, it was!
11:33I cried some nights.
11:34I cried and...
11:35I prayed and I prayed to him to be able to give you more.
11:42I worked, I worked all the hours God gave me.
11:44Every bit of overtime there was, I worked it.
11:47Blimey, I come here, I come home here some nights
11:49and my back was breaking.
11:51I couldn't lay on that bed for the aching,
11:53the agony, the aching muscles that I'd strain,
11:55working for them I'd loved.
11:56Praying and crying and crying and praying to him
12:00to give me the strength to carry on.
12:04Not knowing that that little baby,
12:07that tiny infant in its cot,
12:10would one day turn into a syphil at my throat!
12:15I'll give you a bloody laugh!
12:18Poisoned and corrupted by your bloody women's liver!
12:20This, this, Marxist, Satanic,
12:23anti-Christian, bulky bastard,
12:27bloody, satanic, red rubbish!
12:29And you're no better.
12:30You let them stuff your head full of rubbish too.
12:33You've killed the goose that lays your golden egg, mate.
12:35What golden eggs?
12:36Us, us, the British Empire.
12:38Your benefactors.
12:40Who looked after you in the old days
12:43when you was under us,
12:44in the old days of your colonies.
12:45But you wasn't very smart, was you?
12:47See?
12:47If you'd had a bit more up there
12:49in them curly nuts of yours,
12:50you'd have real...
12:51You'd have known when you was well off.
12:54You'd have left well alone.
12:55You was popular in them days.
12:56Same as women, they was popular.
12:58But who'd marry one now?
12:59I know what they was going to be.
13:01How they was going to be bloody well-treated.
13:03But you was, you was popular.
13:05When you knew your place.
13:06Oh.
13:07And you served those whose place was above you.
13:11So they stuffed your head
13:12with all that bloody socialist rubbish
13:14about Jack's as good as his master.
13:16Well, Jack is not as good as his master.
13:18Good blimey, a worker.
13:19He was popular at one time
13:20with your ruling classes.
13:22And everywhere you looked,
13:23outside of every factory,
13:25on every factory of all,
13:26he said,
13:26hands wanted.
13:28Hands wanted.
13:29Not head stuffed full of
13:31half a scargill bloody rubbish.
13:33Where are you now, eh?
13:35All right, all right.
13:37Don't be bloody faticious.
13:39And these stupid kids.
13:42Eh?
13:42And are you any better off brother?
13:46Sister?
13:46Eh?
13:47Well, blimey,
13:48in them days,
13:49in them days,
13:51we let you,
13:53we let you fight in our wars,
13:54we let you join our armies,
13:55didn't we?
13:56We even let you have your own regiments.
13:59We filled your chest with medals.
14:01Ones we won ourselves.
14:02You're right.
14:04Blimey,
14:04you,
14:04you had a place in our history.
14:07We,
14:07we was friends.
14:08Shut up!
14:09We were friends
14:11and we taught you our games.
14:13We taught you how to play cricket,
14:14didn't we?
14:15No, well,
14:15we could teach you now.
14:16Yeah, all right.
14:18You've come on a bit since then.
14:20All right,
14:20you've come on a lot.
14:21I'll give you fair do's.
14:22I mean,
14:23you played a game quite well now.
14:24Too good for you.
14:26Yeah,
14:26but you ain't mastered the subtleties
14:28of our game,
14:28have you?
14:29But we always win.
14:31That's because you ain't learnt
14:33to lose like gentlemen,
14:34innit?
14:36I mean,
14:37football,
14:37football,
14:38you're quite good at that,
14:39some of you.
14:39Buona,
14:40there will come a time
14:41when the only thing white
14:42about the English football team
14:43will be their shirts.
14:45And then Miss Boxing,
14:46we might provide you
14:47with the world heavyweight champion
14:49one day.
14:49Not bloody Bruno.
14:51No,
14:51are they not?
14:51But whatever his name is,
14:53there's one thing for sure,
14:54Buona,
14:55he's definitely gonna be black.
14:59Who's that now?
15:00Oh,
15:01good evening,
15:01sir.
15:01I'm here on behalf
15:02of the Labour Party.
15:03You're gonna sling your up.
15:05You've got one of our posters
15:06in your window.
15:07There's one of your posters
15:14in my window.
15:15Can I talk to you
15:16or perhaps to one
15:17of your children?
15:19Get off my land!
15:21Get off my land!
15:23Oh,
15:24is land?
15:25Yes,
15:25my land.
15:26What,
15:26two foot of porch?
15:27Two foot,
15:28fifty thousand acres
15:29don't make no difference,
15:30does it?
15:30I pay rent and rate
15:31for that land.
15:32Rent and rates,
15:33my dear,
15:34and that is inviolate to me
15:36and no one,
15:37not anybody,
15:37can set a foot on it
15:38without invite from me.
15:40Englishman's castle.
15:41So,
15:41you don't mind?
15:42Dad!
15:43Shut up,
15:44you!
15:44Go on.
15:44That's all right.
15:45No,
15:45go on,
15:46out!
15:47Oh,
15:47shut up!
15:48Out!
15:48I'm on the public highway now.
15:50Yeah,
15:51obstructing the entrance
15:52to my house.
15:52Impeding access
15:53to his land.
15:54Yes,
15:55loitering on my pavement.
15:57That's my doorstep too.
15:58It can stand on my half.
16:00I might want to vote
16:01Labour if you don't.
16:02No,
16:02it's all right.
16:02I'll stay here,
16:03but can I talk to you?
16:04Yes,
16:05but stand on the porch.
16:06I just told him to...
16:07But is there land too?
16:09Half is hers.
16:10Well,
16:10it can stand on my half.
16:11Yes,
16:12which half is that?
16:12The other half.
16:13Look,
16:14half is mine,
16:15the other half is hers,
16:16so she says.
16:16It is.
16:17Well,
16:17why don't you clean it
16:18for a chase day?
16:21Wipe your feet
16:22before you come in.
16:23It wouldn't be so dirty.
16:24Look,
16:25the other half is hers,
16:26see?
16:26Yes,
16:26I understand the principle,
16:28but which is the other half?
16:30The half that ain't mine,
16:32you stupid,
16:32bullshit bastard!
16:36Right,
16:36now then.
16:38Ah,
16:38ah,
16:39is
16:40hers.
16:43Right.
16:47Is this all right?
16:52She had any sense
16:53you wouldn't talk to him at all.
16:54I shall talk to who I want.
16:56But he's Labour,
16:56you don't want to vote Labour,
16:57do you?
16:58I shall please myself.
16:59It's between me
17:00and the ballot box
17:01who I vote for.
17:02Got nothing at all
17:03to do with you.
17:04This is my half of the porch
17:06and I can have anyone
17:07I like to stand on it.
17:08But you're a Catholic,
17:10it's against your religion
17:11to vote Labour.
17:11Who told you that?
17:13You did.
17:14Oh,
17:14I never said any such thing.
17:16Shirley Williams is a Catholic
17:18and she used to vote Labour?
17:19But she don't now.
17:20No,
17:20I know she don't,
17:21she's SDP.
17:22But when she was an SDP
17:23and voted Labour,
17:25wasn't against her religion
17:26as a Catholic
17:26to vote Labour.
17:27Anymore,
17:28it's against her religion
17:28as a Catholic
17:29to vote SDP.
17:30It's got nothing at all
17:31to do with her religion
17:32as a Catholic anymore
17:33and it's got nothing
17:34to do with my religion.
17:36If I want to vote Labour,
17:37I can vote Labour
17:38and I can still be
17:39a good Catholic.
17:40But I don't want to vote Labour
17:42because I'd rather vote SDP
17:44because during the Spanish Revolution
17:47out in Spain,
17:49it was Labour
17:49who burned down
17:51the Catholic churches
17:52and not only in Spain,
17:54it was Labour out in Russia
17:55who burned down
17:56the Catholic churches
17:57and I've never forgiven them for it.
18:00Shoot and get off my house.
18:01This Labour council
18:08have even banned prayers
18:10out of the council chamber now.
18:12I mean,
18:13in a neighbourhood
18:14that needs all the prayers
18:15it can get.
18:16Needs more than prayers,
18:17my dear,
18:17needs a bloody miracle
18:18round here.
18:19Well, you vote SDP
18:21if that's what you want.
18:22I wouldn't.
18:22I mean,
18:23you vote according to
18:24the lead of your conscience
18:26and your parish priest.
18:27You vote SDP.
18:28I wouldn't.
18:28Hear, hear.
18:29Too many ex-Labourites
18:31in your SDP
18:32like a Shirley Williams
18:33in your David Owen
18:34for my liking.
18:35Now,
18:35if there was a few Tories
18:36in your SDP,
18:37well,
18:38you might give them a go
18:39and vote for them
18:39next time round.
18:41But they'd have to get
18:41a new leader,
18:42I tell you.
18:43Dr David Owen.
18:44Oh, blimey.
18:45I wouldn't like him
18:46as my GP.
18:47He might be able
18:47to diagnose
18:48what's wrong with you,
18:49but I bet he wouldn't
18:50be able to prescribe for it.
18:51Very well put.
18:52You see,
18:53the SDP have no consistent...
18:54Why don't you put a sock
18:55in his sock?
18:57It wasn't Labour
18:58that burnt down
18:59the churches in Spain
19:00and Russia.
19:01It was a communist.
19:02But what's the difference?
19:02They all look the same to me,
19:03the same way he's locked us.
19:04Oh, there is a difference.
19:06You see,
19:06the Labour Party
19:07believes in parliamentary democracy.
19:09What are you talking
19:10about democracy, eh?
19:12Get in the wrong way.
19:14That's your politician's
19:15idea of democracy.
19:16They're all natural dictators,
19:18aren't they?
19:18All of them.
19:19All of them?
19:20Yes.
19:20It's their war,
19:22my dear,
19:22not ours.
19:23We're just an embarrassment
19:24to them, we are.
19:25Except when there's a war on,
19:26they want us to fight it for them.
19:28Or when there's an election
19:29and they want our votes
19:30and they have to come
19:31knocking on our door
19:31like bloody brush salesmen
19:33and begging them off us,
19:35catching them off us.
19:36They should be made
19:37to buy our votes
19:38and cash up front for them.
19:39Oh, blimey,
19:40in the old days,
19:41my dear,
19:41you've got a sack of coal
19:42for your vote.
19:43And what do they offer you now?
19:44Eh, promises?
19:45Bloody promises,
19:46innit it, eh?
19:47I mean,
19:47at least in the old days
19:48after the election,
19:49you've still had
19:49your sack of coal.
19:50And what do you got now,
19:51eh?
19:52Bloody sack of lies
19:53and empty promises.
19:55The only promises that...
19:56I don't want any coal.
19:57The only promise...
19:58Coal's no use to me,
20:00not up there.
20:01The only pro...
20:02Coal electric.
20:06When it works.
20:10The only...
20:11plug's gone again
20:12and the plug's gone again
20:12in my file.
20:13Do you...
20:13I can't make a cup of tea
20:15nor nothing.
20:16What, I'm sorry.
20:17When is this council
20:18going to get some
20:19decent electricity round here?
20:21Like,
20:22who next door's got
20:23hers works?
20:23I mean,
20:24we pay enough rent.
20:25Will you shut up?
20:26Shut up!
20:26Shut up!
20:28Look...
20:29Well, we'll certainly
20:29look into it for you,
20:30Mr.
20:31Arlingbury.
20:32Look, the only...
20:33There's a flat upstairs,
20:34is it?
20:34Well, I can promise you
20:36we'll get some...
20:36There are promises.
20:37See, promises.
20:39Promises.
20:39The only promises
20:41that your politician
20:41keeps, my dear,
20:42is the promises
20:43he makes to himself.
20:44The only better Britain
20:45he's interested in
20:47is the better Britain
20:48he wants for himself
20:48and the only new houses
20:49he's going to build
20:50is the new house
20:51he's building for himself,
20:53what goes with his new job
20:54and the new car
20:55that goes with it.
20:56All I want
20:56is an electric kettle
20:57of works for me.
20:59Them ballot papers,
21:00my dear,
21:01that you and I
21:01put our X on,
21:02they say,
21:03it may only be
21:03a bit of paper to us,
21:05but to them,
21:05to them,
21:06they're gold.
21:06They're pure,
21:07bloody gold treasury notes.
21:09I've never met
21:09a politician yet
21:10or a bloody
21:12trade union leader
21:13or town councillor
21:14or any of the
21:15I'm doing this
21:16for the battermen
21:17of Britain brigade
21:18who didn't end up
21:19a bloody sight richer
21:20when he finished
21:21and when he started.
21:22I tell you,
21:22living in this country
21:23is like driving
21:24in a car
21:25with a drunk
21:25who don't know
21:26where you want to go
21:27or how to get
21:28there as he did.
21:28Carling up one-way streets
21:30the wrong way,
21:30charging through red lights
21:32who you'd take
21:32his keys off him
21:33if you had any sense
21:34or wasn't as drunk
21:35as he is.
21:36What they ought to do,
21:37see,
21:37what we ought to do
21:38with all your politicians
21:39is take them out
21:40and shoot them.
21:41Bang, bang!
21:42That way,
21:43we'd have a few
21:44decent politicians
21:45with no bloody
21:46politicians at all.
21:47Can I just say one thing?
21:48I ain't finished yet!
21:49No, I thought you probably hadn't.
21:51Through the chair,
21:52comrade,
21:53through the chair.
21:53Trouble,
21:54you bloody politicians.
21:55Never let anyone
21:55get a word in edgeways,
21:56do you?
21:57Worse than bloody
21:57Wogan, you are.
21:58What I want to do
22:00might improve
22:01this country a bit
22:02is make all your politicians,
22:03all your...
22:04Make Britain a better place
22:05to live in,
22:05bloody brigade.
22:06Make them go and live
22:07in the slums,
22:08not up there
22:08in the posh houses.
22:10Yeah,
22:10put the Prime Minister,
22:12her house,
22:13and all your bloody
22:13cabinet down here.
22:15Then mix with the sort
22:16of bloody rubbish
22:17we have to mix with.
22:18Might see a bit
22:18of improvement then.
22:19Yeah,
22:19then Margaret Cat Thatcher
22:21come down here
22:22and live.
22:22Let her get mugged
22:23a few times.
22:25Now I'll have
22:25her bloody handbag
22:26stolen.
22:27Now I'll get raped.
22:28Yeah,
22:28now I'll try...
22:29Now I'll put up
22:32with some of the
22:32bloody hooligans
22:33we have to put up
22:34with and let her
22:35darling Dennis
22:36go and try and
22:36drink in some
22:37of the pubs
22:37I have to drink in.
22:38She might do
22:39something about
22:39law and order
22:40then instead of
22:40making promises
22:41about all the time.
22:43If she had to
22:43come down here
22:44and live among
22:45your criminal classes...
22:46Criminal classes?
22:47What criminal classes?
22:49Here,
22:49here,
22:49this bloody street
22:50is full of them.
22:51They're working
22:51class people.
22:52Don't you tell me
22:53what they are?
22:54I live here
22:54amongst them.
22:55These are your
22:56criminals, mate.
22:57The ones who
22:57can't afford
22:57to go and live
22:58in Spain.
23:01Where they come
23:01home to.
23:02God blimey.
23:03Visiting day
23:03at Wormwood Scrubs
23:04there's five
23:05Sarabans
23:05leave this street.
23:09Waste money
23:09building new
23:10prisons.
23:11No.
23:12Just move
23:13all the innocents
23:14out and build
23:14a bloody great
23:15wall round
23:16the rest of them.
23:17I fought
23:17for this country,
23:18mate.
23:19Yes,
23:19I can see you
23:19fought, sir.
23:20Yeah,
23:20and you come along
23:21you toffee-nosed
23:22little twit,
23:23you.
23:24And you're
23:25trying to tell me
23:26how to run it?
23:27I take your point,
23:28sir, but...
23:28And what did I get
23:29out of fighting for it,
23:30eh?
23:31I'm sure you're
23:31going to tell me.
23:32A wife who spent
23:33her life in a bloody
23:34wheelchair,
23:35didn't she?
23:36And she got nothing
23:37out of it.
23:38And where I lay my head
23:39at night, mate,
23:39I have to pay
23:40exorbitant rent
23:41to a bloody council
23:43that's always
23:43bubbling on about
23:44what they're going
23:45to do for people.
23:46People!
23:47Oh, blimey!
23:48The one thing
23:48I never knew,
23:49mate,
23:49was when I
23:49fought that war,
23:51what I didn't know
23:52was there wasn't
23:53my country I was
23:54fighting for.
23:55It was my
23:55bloody landlord's
23:56country.
23:57Yes,
23:57I can see that
23:58you fought.
23:58That's a fine
23:59display of medals.
24:00Good Lord,
24:01isn't that the
24:01mon star?
24:02He won't talk
24:02about it.
24:03He's never told
24:04anyone else.
24:05He's my father.
24:05He's never breathed
24:06a word to me
24:07about what he's
24:07been through.
24:08Yeah,
24:08but you don't
24:08get those for
24:09nothing.
24:09120,
24:10including the
24:11coat.
24:13It's men like
24:15him that's
24:15made this
24:15country what
24:16it is.
24:16Dad,
24:17why don't
24:17you come
24:17inside and
24:18take the
24:18weight off
24:18your war wounds?
24:20What if you
24:20clear off?
24:21Hey,
24:22look at them.
24:23The party's
24:24over,
24:25the fun's
24:25finished.
24:26Look at them.
24:27Ain't you never
24:27heard a political
24:28discussion before?
24:30Perfect.
24:30Look at them,
24:30look at them.
24:31Bah,
24:31bah.
24:34They're
24:34marvellous,
24:35and they're
24:36going to be
24:36allowed to vote.
24:38Like letting
24:39the inmates
24:39of a loony
24:40bin decide
24:41who's going
24:41to be allowed
24:42in and who's
24:42going to be
24:42let out.
24:44No wonder
24:45you'll have to
24:45put a cross
24:46on your ballot
24:47paper,
24:47innit?
24:48Across the
24:49mark of
24:49ignorance.
24:51The more
24:51ignorant your
24:52voter is,
24:52the better
24:53the government
24:53likes it.
24:54Oh,
24:54blimey.
24:55It's why they
24:55won't spend
24:55no money on
24:56schools,
24:57innit?
24:57Hey,
24:58they might
24:59go on about
24:59Russia,
24:59but I'll tell
25:00you something,
25:00mate,
25:01it's a political
25:02system that all
25:03the governments
25:03of this country
25:04envy.
25:05One party,
25:06one vote,
25:06takes all the
25:07uncertainty out of
25:08elections,
25:09and them who
25:09don't like it,
25:10Siberia.
25:11Excuse me,
25:12Mr Garnett.
25:14I am the
25:15conservative
25:16candidate.
25:18Can I count
25:18on your vote?
25:19Just a minute,
25:20just a minute.
25:21You used to be
25:22with the Labour
25:22Party.
25:23Oh,
25:23yes,
25:24when I first
25:25come here,
25:25I was with
25:26Labour,
25:26but now I have
25:27corner shop,
25:28I'm conservative
25:28with Mrs Thatcher.
25:30That's amazing.
25:32Crack of you,
25:33isn't it?
25:33We build you
25:34a community
25:35centre.
25:36Oh,
25:37so very
25:38good of you
25:39because your
25:40brother-in-law,
25:41Jerry,
25:42he built
25:43the community
25:43centre.
25:44Jerry,
25:45my brother-in-law
25:45is not Jerry.
25:46You've got the
25:47wrong chap,
25:48old chap.
25:49I have not
25:49got the
25:50wrong chap,
25:51old chap.
25:53They say
25:54community centre
25:55is Jerry built
25:56by councillor's
25:57brother-in-law.
25:58That's why it
25:59falls down
25:59and no
26:00questions asked.
26:02And who is it
26:03gets my black
26:04balls at
26:05golf club?
26:06It has nothing
26:07to do with
26:07your black
26:08balls.
26:08You.
26:09It is you
26:10gets me
26:11black balls.
26:12Black balls?
26:12It was your
26:12handicap.
26:13And my
26:14black face.
26:15Oh,
26:15yes.
26:16I am very
26:16welcome at
26:17golf club.
26:18Using broom,
26:19sweep,
26:20sweep.
26:20Oh,
26:21very good
26:21fellow.
26:22But not
26:23use golf
26:24stick,
26:24old chap.
26:25That's it,
26:26in it.
26:26That's the
26:26last straw.
26:27Oh,
26:28blimey,
26:28I've heard
26:28it all now.
26:29From now on,
26:30it's number
26:30one.
26:31Oh,
26:31that'll
26:31make a change.
26:32Thatcher says,
26:33do your own
26:34thing.
26:34Feather your
26:35own nest.
26:35Stand on
26:36your own
26:36two feet.
26:37It's the
26:37age of the
26:38spear,
26:38isn't it?
26:39So sod you,
26:40Jack,
26:40I'm all right.
26:42God bless you.
26:43Thank you very
26:43much.
26:43God bless.
26:46Silver collection.
26:49Don't forget
26:50those who serve.
26:51World war hero.
26:52Thank you very
26:52much.
26:53God bless you.
26:59Don't forget
27:00those who serve.
27:01Thank you very
27:02much.
27:02God bless.
27:03Sir.
27:04Don't forget.
27:04Old soldier.
27:04He did his
27:05part for me.
27:05He made it a
27:06free world.
27:07He did his
27:09part.
27:09God bless you,
27:10sir.
27:10God bless you.
27:12Two for you.
27:14Two for me.
27:17Two for you.
27:19Two for me.
27:21And two.
27:22Why are you
27:23getting more
27:23than me?
27:24I'm your
27:25entrepreneur,
27:26aren't I?
27:27Taking
27:28advantage
27:28of the weak
27:29half of her.
27:29Scribbing like
27:31the rest of
27:32them.
27:33There you
27:33know,
27:33the gold ones
27:33have to meet.
27:36You talk about
27:37bloody band-aid,
27:39I reckon I've
27:40just invented
27:40chair-aid.
27:42Any luck,
27:43I might get an
27:43OBE out of this.
27:44say,
27:46because tonight
27:47is going to be
27:51the proud
27:52one,
27:52my
27:53can't
27:54ask him

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