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BSTVSHOWS
  • 6/23/2025
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00:00:00Eli Scruggs was the handiest of all handymen.
00:00:08You could ask any of his customers and they would tell you there was nothing he couldn't fix.
00:00:16Whether it was a broken vase, a leaky pipe, or a shaky banister,
00:00:27Eli always knew how to get the job done.
00:00:32But sadly, the man who had fixed so many things for the residents of Wisteria Lane
00:00:38was now about to break their hearts.
00:00:42Eli Scruggs, get down from there.
00:00:44Mrs. McCluskey.
00:00:46Just found this note in my mailbox. As you're retiring? What the hell?
00:00:50Yes, ma'am. It's true.
00:00:52Now why would you want to do something stupid like that?
00:00:54My doc says I got a bum ticker. I have to take it easy from now on.
00:00:58Well, once I'm done fixing Mrs. Meyer's shingle, I'm on a plane to Waikiki.
00:01:02Well, this is very annoying.
00:01:04Who's gonna fix my water heater when it breaks?
00:01:06Oh, I met this young guy named Toby.
00:01:09Very bright, just turned 30. He'll take care of you.
00:01:12Dammit, Eli! I am not comfortable with strangers in my house.
00:01:16Took me ten years to trust you.
00:01:17I know.
00:01:18Most of those guys leave tools and nails all over the place.
00:01:22You never leave a mess.
00:01:24Thank you, ma'am.
00:01:26Have you told everyone else you're leaving?
00:01:28I left copies of that same note in everybody's mailbox.
00:01:31Well, that's not right.
00:01:33After all these years, people will want to say goodbye.
00:01:36Or maybe throw you a party or something.
00:01:38Oh, no. I prefer to go quietly, if you know what I mean.
00:01:41I don't want a big fuss.
00:01:43Well, I'll miss you, Eli.
00:01:46There will never be another one like you.
00:01:48With that, Eli Scruggs climbed his ladder for the very last time.
00:01:57And once he had finished making his last repair, Eli Scruggs, quietly, with no fuss, had a heart attack and died.
00:02:08And most importantly, without leaving a mess.
00:02:15It took an hour for someone to finally notice the body laying atop Susan Meyer's roof.
00:02:34It was less than ten minutes later that the neighbors began arriving.
00:02:46Each determined to get a look at the various paramedics and policemen,
00:02:51who were all frantically trying to figure out exactly how to bring the body down.
00:02:57And it took two days for my friends to realize this tragedy had affected them.
00:03:08We're ready. Come on.
00:03:10More than they were willing to admit.
00:03:13Hey, Gabby. Did you remember to get change?
00:03:17Because when I cash in my chips, I don't want to hear you say, all I've got is fifties.
00:03:20Speaking of cashing in your chips, anyone know when Eli's funeral is?
00:03:23Oh, I think it's Saturday.
00:03:24I wonder how many people are going to show up.
00:03:26Miss McCluskey was saying he didn't have much family.
00:03:28Poor Eli. We should make sure he's got flowers at his funeral.
00:03:31I'm in. How much are we talking?
00:03:32I don't know.
00:03:33What do you think, Gabby?
00:03:35Gabby?
00:03:37Wow, Jimmy Choo.
00:03:51Oh, Carlos. These aren't even in the States yet.
00:03:56What's the catch?
00:03:58What are you talking about?
00:03:59You never buy me a present unless I'm mad or about to be mad.
00:04:02And I don't think I am, so why am I about to be?
00:04:04I have to go to Cleveland tomorrow.
00:04:06Carlos?
00:04:07They're begging me. The merger's going south.
00:04:09You just got home.
00:04:11With shoes.
00:04:13Don't leave me here. I'm going out of my mind.
00:04:16Everyone is so boring and suburban.
00:04:19And how many freaking honor students can that school have?
00:04:22Can we please not argue in front of the handyman?
00:04:25He has a name.
00:04:27What's your name?
00:04:29Eli Scruggs.
00:04:31You hear that, Carlos?
00:04:32You brought me to a place where people are named Eli Scruggs.
00:04:35Fine.
00:04:36I'll give up my job.
00:04:37And everything that comes with it.
00:04:38Not the Jimmy Choo's.
00:04:40They're the only friends I've got.
00:04:43Thought so.
00:04:44I'm going to pack.
00:04:50You know, it's none of my business.
00:04:51You're right. It's not.
00:04:52But the ladies in this neighborhood are actually pretty nice.
00:04:55Yeah.
00:04:56They came by.
00:04:57Brought muffins.
00:04:58One of them wants her basket back.
00:05:00That'd be Brie.
00:05:01Anyhow, she and the other ladies play poker every week.
00:05:05If you like, I could talk to them.
00:05:07See if they'll let you host a game.
00:05:09Hi.
00:05:10We're, um, the neighborhood.
00:05:11Gabrielle invited us to play poker.
00:05:24So, is she in?
00:05:27Mrs. Solis will be right down.
00:05:30She likes to make an entrance.
00:05:32What does that mean, an entrance?
00:05:35Hello there.
00:05:38Welcome to my home.
00:05:42Oh.
00:05:43That's what it means.
00:05:45So, I said pumpkin.
00:05:47That's what I call John Bon Jovi.
00:05:48I said pumpkin.
00:05:49Even if I could steer a yacht, I'm certainly not about to do it in five-inch heels.
00:05:54True story.
00:05:55Well, you've certainly had quite a glamorous life.
00:05:58That was before my husband moved me here to East Nowhere.
00:06:01Seriously, I don't know how you girls do it.
00:06:03Do what?
00:06:04Get out of bed in the morning.
00:06:06I've only lived here a month and I want to put a gun to my head.
00:06:09You know what I mean?
00:06:11No, we don't.
00:06:12There are no good nightclubs, no theater.
00:06:15What do you do for a good time?
00:06:17Well, we watch the kids play soccer.
00:06:18And the school drama department puts on some really great shows.
00:06:21And then there's church, of course.
00:06:25Church.
00:06:28Oh, you're serious.
00:06:32Look, I know it's quiet here, but I think you'll find there's a real charm to Fairview.
00:06:36No, no, it's cute.
00:06:37It's cute, I get that.
00:06:39It's just, I was a top-tier fashion model.
00:06:42And I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to the fact that best part of my life is behind me.
00:06:47Goodbye doing vodka shots with Kate Moss and hello to sipping international coffee with you girls.
00:06:59Full house.
00:07:00Yes?
00:07:01Hello, it's Mrs. Solis here.
00:07:02Oh, I got it, I got it.
00:07:03Go, go, go, go, go.
00:07:04Ma'am, here's the bill for fixing your sink.
00:07:05Okay, thank you.
00:07:06By the way, you made quite an impression at the poker game.
00:07:07Really?
00:07:08Oh yeah, the ladies can't stop talking about you.
00:07:09Oh, well, I'm sure it was kind of exciting for them to have a star in their midst.
00:07:13Let me think, did they say star?
00:07:14I heard stuck up, obnoxious, bitch.
00:07:16What?
00:07:17You know, I went out on a limb to get you into that game.
00:07:20And then you go in there acting like you're better than they are.
00:07:22Oh, my clothes said that.
00:07:23Not that I'm not.
00:07:24I'm not.
00:07:25I'm not.
00:07:26I'm not.
00:07:27I'm not.
00:07:28I'm not.
00:07:29I'm not.
00:07:30I'm not.
00:07:31I'm not.
00:07:32I'm not.
00:07:33I'm not.
00:07:34I'm not.
00:07:35I'm not.
00:07:36I'm not.
00:07:37I'm not.
00:07:38I'm not.
00:07:39I'm not.
00:07:40I'm not.
00:07:41I'm not.
00:07:42My clothes said that.
00:07:43Not me.
00:07:44Well, did you ask them anything about their lives?
00:07:46Why would they want to talk about their lives?
00:07:49Their lives are boring.
00:07:50Well, you know what's going to be really boring?
00:07:52You sitting here alone in this big house without any friends.
00:07:56If I were you, I'd drop the attitude.
00:07:58Learn to like your neighbors.
00:08:02Well, thanks for the advice.
00:08:03You want to add that to your bill?
00:08:05Nope.
00:08:06It's on the house.
00:08:12I brought muffins.
00:08:18That's so nice.
00:08:21We were just playing poker.
00:08:23And I wasn't invited.
00:08:25I know.
00:08:26I get it.
00:08:27I just wanted to tell you guys, I know I made a horrible first impression.
00:08:32Now you know why models don't usually talk.
00:08:34Because we say a lot of stupid patronizing things that make people want to avoid us.
00:08:38What I should have said was, my husband's never home.
00:08:43I miss the city.
00:08:45I miss my life.
00:08:47I'm lonely all the time.
00:08:52And I could really use some friends.
00:08:56Anyway, here.
00:09:09Now that's how you make an entrance.
00:09:18Gabby!
00:09:20I'm sorry, what?
00:09:21We're getting a wreath for Eli's funeral.
00:09:23Are you in?
00:09:24Actually, why don't you let me pay for it?
00:09:26It could still be from all of us.
00:09:27No, you don't have to do that.
00:09:31I sorta do.
00:09:34Now let's pay some poker.
00:09:38Alright, time for my luck to change.
00:09:41This hand is for Eli.
00:09:44Hmm.
00:09:45Next hand is for Eli.
00:09:46You know, if we're gonna have a get together after the funeral, we should start thinking about food.
00:09:49And by we and food, you mean brie, right?
00:09:52I thought that was clear.
00:09:53I'd be happy to.
00:09:54Any special requests?
00:09:56How about we pick something from your cookbook?
00:09:57Great!
00:09:58Gabby, do you have your copy?
00:10:00I'll go get it.
00:10:09You used my cookbook to balance your table?
00:10:11Oh, it's only temporary.
00:10:13Juanita needed her coloring book back.
00:10:15All right.
00:10:16Watch out, ladies.
00:10:17I'm just telling you.
00:10:18I've got a pair or something.
00:10:19All right.
00:10:20I'm sorry if the frittata is a bit dry.
00:10:21Are you kidding?
00:10:22It's great.
00:10:23You should give Lynette the recipe.
00:10:24Yes, because that's what women in their eighth month really crave.
00:10:25More stove time.
00:10:26Mine is so erratic.
00:10:27I'm not even sure what the real temperature is.
00:10:28Of course, if a certain doctor would loosen the purse string.
00:10:29We're not getting a new stove?
00:10:30If you would just take on a few more patients, we could afford it.
00:10:31Well, if I'm not supporting you adequately, my dear, by all means, feel free to do something
00:10:32about it.
00:10:33Such as?
00:10:34Well, you could, maybe, I don't know, get a job.
00:10:35I'm sorry if the frittata is a bit dry.
00:10:36You're kidding.
00:10:37It's great.
00:10:38You should give Lynette the recipe.
00:10:39Yes, because that's what women in their eighth month really crave.
00:10:41More stove time.
00:10:42Mine is so erratic, I'm not even sure what the real temperature is.
00:10:46Of course, if a certain doctor would loosen the purse string.
00:10:50We're not getting a new stove?
00:10:51If you would just take on a few more patients, we could afford it.
00:10:53Well, if I'm not supporting you adequately, my dear, by all means, feel free to do something
00:10:57about it.
00:10:58Such as?
00:10:59Well, you could, maybe, I don't know, get a job.
00:11:02I have a job.
00:11:04I'm a homemaker.
00:11:05And a damn good one.
00:11:07So, to make this, do you just sauté some ham and some onions?
00:11:10It's not happening, Tom.
00:11:11I just sometimes think maybe you would appreciate the value of a dollar more if you had to work
00:11:16outside the home.
00:11:17And I think you would appreciate my value more if, for once, you had to cook your own food
00:11:20and wash your own clothes.
00:11:21Well, that makes me so my own buttons.
00:11:23I'll sew anything you want if you just stop getting me pregnant.
00:11:27I want a new stove, Rex, and if I need to get a job to pay for it, so be it.
00:11:31If you're looking for a stove, we've got one that's hardly ever been used.
00:11:36I wish I could say the same for my uterus.
00:11:42Oh, yeah.
00:11:43I ruined the brunch.
00:11:51Hey, how's it looking under there, Eli?
00:11:53Is it gonna cost me an arm and a leg?
00:11:55Eh, a few fingers, maybe.
00:11:57Honey, my stomach's growling.
00:12:00When's dinner?
00:12:01Oh, we're having leftovers.
00:12:02You can heat them up yourself if you want.
00:12:04Since when do we have leftovers?
00:12:07Since I started writing my own cookbook.
00:12:10Remember how you told me I should start making my own money?
00:12:13Well, I've been going through all my old recipes and I've got this great idea for a real home-style American cookbook.
00:12:18You're not serious.
00:12:20Why wouldn't I be? People are always complimenting me on my cooking.
00:12:23You're great, but come on, every bored housewife who pulls off a decent lasagna thinks she can write a cookbook.
00:12:30You think I'm just like every other housewife?
00:12:32No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. It's just that...
00:12:36What do you really know about writing?
00:12:38I'll learn. And I want it to be more than just a cookbook.
00:12:41I want to talk about traditional values and give helpful hints about homemaking.
00:12:45Look, look, this is my fault.
00:12:47You know, I was ribbing you the other day about getting a job and you took it seriously.
00:12:52If you really want a new stove, I'll get you a stove.
00:12:58Now, can you stop this foolishness and make me something to eat that isn't leftovers?
00:13:11You're an old man.
00:13:13You're an old man.
00:13:14You're an old man.
00:13:32Mrs. Vandekamp, I fixed your banister. You should be fine now.
00:13:35I'll just go. You can pay me whenever. I know this is a rough time for you.
00:13:42Thanks, Elon.
00:13:44By the way, service for Mr. V was really nice.
00:13:54You were there?
00:13:55I sat in the back of the church. I wanted to say goodbye to Mr. V.
00:13:59So, uh, have you thought about what you're gonna do now?
00:14:08You mean with my life? I don't know.
00:14:16Mrs. V, I've been meaning to give this to you for a while now, but I, uh, never find the right moment.
00:14:29I kept it for you just in case you might need it someday.
00:14:37Hope you don't mind.
00:14:41I gotta tell you, I made your Cajun meatloaf.
00:14:46That may be my favorite meal ever.
00:14:50I can't believe you saved this.
00:14:54Chris, I'm not really in the book to write a cookbook right now.
00:14:58Well, maybe one day you will be.
00:15:10Hey, Bree, I know what you can make for the wake.
00:15:12That flaky breaded shrimp thing.
00:15:17Thanks, but I know exactly what I'm gonna make.
00:15:19Dave, it was a nice trip, but I gotta tell you, I don't know why we spend all that money going to the Bahamas.
00:15:30And if we're not gonna leave the hotel room, then why not just cover ourselves in suntan lotion and have sex here?
00:15:35Hey, you just got a message from Mrs. McCluskey.
00:15:39Oh?
00:15:41She said your handyman died.
00:15:43Eli?
00:15:46Oh, my God.
00:15:47He was working on Susan's roof and dropped out of a heart attack.
00:15:50Can you believe that?
00:15:51No, no, no. You are not going to the gym again. You said we were gonna have afternoon sex.
00:16:06Well, do it when I get back.
00:16:07You say that every time, Umberto, and then you're too tired.
00:16:10Maybe I wouldn't be if you weren't so clingy.
00:16:12Clingy? We haven't had sex in two weeks. It's like I'm 15 again. What's wrong with us?
00:16:19Not us. You. Your libido is out of control.
00:16:23Umberto.
00:16:24You've got a drawer full of toys. Use them.
00:16:39Ah!
00:16:41Oh, Eli! I forgot you were in there.
00:16:44Yeah, I'm done fixing your faucet. Actually, I was done 10 minutes ago, but I was afraid to come out.
00:16:49I'm sorry you heard all of that.
00:16:50The good news is, while I was in there, I re-grounded your tub. Free charge!
00:16:57Wait a second.
00:17:01What do you think of my ass?
00:17:04Sorry?
00:17:05My ass on a scale from one to ten.
00:17:09I, I, I...
00:17:10Tick-tock!
00:17:11Ten. It's ten.
00:17:14And the boobs?
00:17:16Perky and firm?
00:17:18You've named them?
00:17:19Oh, come on, Eli. My husband won't have sex with me.
00:17:22I just need to make sure it's not... me.
00:17:27It's not you?
00:17:28You sure?
00:17:29Trust me. I used to work in construction. My buddies would have gone crazy for you.
00:17:33Cat calls, nasty gestures.
00:17:36Hey, you with the sweater mates! If you ever need any work done, call me!
00:17:39Cause I got the perfect tool for the job!
00:17:42You, you, you kept the drift.
00:17:45Yeah, I do.
00:17:48That was insulting and demeaning.
00:17:50Oh!
00:17:51Thank you so much.
00:17:53Oh!
00:17:55Oh!
00:17:56Oh!
00:18:00Oh!
00:18:02Oh!
00:18:03Oh!
00:18:04Oh!
00:18:05Oh!
00:18:06Oh!
00:18:07Oh!
00:18:08You can take the color?
00:18:09Oh!
00:18:11Is everything okay?
00:18:13Things are great!
00:18:17You want some wine?
00:18:18We're celebrating.
00:18:20What's the occasion?
00:18:21I am no longer married to a gay guy.
00:18:25Umberto was gay.
00:18:27So you wasted your time installing that light in the closet because he went flying out of there.
00:18:32out of there. At least you know now it wasn't you. Wasn't it? He said that being
00:18:39married to me was what convinced him that he liked men. You can imagine what a
00:18:45boost to the ego that was. Come on. You've had a gay guy sleeping with you for two
00:18:52years and those guys are pretty hard to land. No, you don't trust me. No need to be
00:19:00sad. You're a knockout.
00:19:11I need this handbag. It's hard to be a handyman without a hand. What are you
00:19:23doing? You put the mirror over my bed.
00:19:27You know exactly what I'm doing. Are you sure about this? I don't want to take
00:19:35advantage of you. Oh, I'm sure you'll be gentle.
00:19:40Anyway, I guess they're burying him on Saturday. Obviously you want to go.
00:19:49Yeah. I do. I'll leave that black dress out. I'll get it dry clean for the funeral.
00:20:01A little sexy for a funeral, isn't it? I don't think Eli would mind.
00:20:09Mom? That's Penny. I'll be right back.
00:20:19Mom!
00:20:21Hey, sweetie. What's up?
00:20:24You said you'd help me with my math. We're dividing fractions.
00:20:28Oh. I wish you'd caught me two chardonnays ago. Mommy, you promised. I know, but Mommy's
00:20:37still planning Eli's memorial. Start without me. I'll be there in a little while.
00:20:42Oh my gosh, Lynette. Are you okay? The doctor just called. I'm pregnant. This is fantastic.
00:21:09Yeah, whoop-dee-doo. Honey, you don't sound too happy about this.
00:21:15I was planning to go back to work. What? What are you talking about?
00:21:20I had it in the back of my mind for a while, and then yesterday I got a phone.
00:21:24Hold it.
00:21:29Sorry. I was having trouble paying attention.
00:21:33Jeffrey Cuevas is retiring in September. I am the perfect person to step into his job.
00:21:39And that is exactly when Parker starts kindergarten. The timing is like a dream.
00:21:45But what about our dream of having a little girl? This could be our chance.
00:21:49Oh, please. You know it's gonna be a boy. It's always a boy. She's gonna pee in my face
00:21:54and hide dead things in my shoes.
00:21:58I'm doing this, Tom. I am going after this job.
00:22:02But who's gonna take care of the kids?
00:22:04Well, I was hoping you could cut back on your hours at work.
00:22:08I can't do that. I have a career.
00:22:14You did not just say that.
00:22:16No, I didn't.
00:22:18Tom, I cannot just stay at home wiping noses.
00:22:23I need it for my sanity, and I need you to back me up.
00:22:29Well, the kids are up.
00:22:35They're gonna want their breakfast.
00:22:38And I'm gonna back you up by making it for her.
00:22:41My hero.
00:22:48Jeff Cuevas is fantastic, but I know I could take his department to a whole new level.
00:22:55The hell is that?
00:22:57Oh, my water broke. Take the overnight bag out to the car.
00:23:00Oh, three weeks. That's a little soon. But, uh, sure, I could make that work.
00:23:04For God's sakes, Lynette, we gotta go to the hospital.
00:23:07In a minute, I'm trying to lock this job down. What kind of perks are we talking about here?
00:23:13Okay, you're having contractions. That's a good...
00:23:15I swear if you touch this phone, I will have this baby right here and then beat you with it.
00:23:20You're insane. We have to go.
00:23:23Could you hold on one second? We agreed. I could go back to work after I gave birth.
00:23:28After? Lynette? Not during.
00:23:30I'm sorry. Is there any way we could finish this conversation tomorrow?
00:23:38Oh, later in the day works better for me, too.
00:23:43Well, thank you very much. Bye. Hey. Woo. I got the job.
00:23:48Congratulations. Baby's arm is sticking out. Why don't you high-five it?
00:23:52Tom, I am in pain. Do you mind?
00:23:56Oh, you'll see, Tom. I know.
00:23:59People say that you...
00:24:03You can't have it all, but I know we can.
00:24:08Oh, Mr. Swenson. I can't tell you how excited I am.
00:24:11Maybe you could schedule a staff meeting so I could hit the ground running on Monday?
00:24:16No, no. No, it can't be Friday because, remember, we agreed that we would start next week.
00:24:22So, again, thank you so much for this opportunity.
00:24:40Mrs. Cabo?
00:24:41Yeah.
00:24:42I think you might have forgotten something.
00:24:48Could you hold on a second?
00:24:52Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:24:56Well, I was... I was on the phone. I was talking to my new boss and I...
00:25:01She was only in there for a minute.
00:25:03But it's 85 degrees outside. I've never done this before.
00:25:08You got a lot on your mind. Three kids and a newborn. Sounds like a new job.
00:25:14Yeah, I do.
00:25:16It's a lot to handle.
00:25:19There you go.
00:25:19I should probably get back to Susan's windows.
00:25:38You take care.
00:25:39Lynette, are you still there?
00:25:50Lynette? Hello?
00:25:53Are you still there?
00:25:58Hey, coming back in?
00:26:03No.
00:26:04I'm gonna go help my daughter with her homework.
00:26:06Hey, Penny, wait up!
00:26:36You're at sale!
00:26:53Oh, good. You're here.
00:26:56How are you, Eli?
00:26:57I'm fine. You?
00:26:59Great. Yeah, I haven't worn these jeans in a while and I found 20 bucks in the pocket.
00:27:03Don't you just help when that happens?
00:27:05Also, Carl left me for a secretary, so I need you to change these locks.
00:27:10Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:27:12Oh, thanks, but don't be. Just hurry. Carl said he was coming by to get some of the stuff
00:27:16and I want this place to be gorgeous.
00:27:19My best.
00:27:21You're doing all right, though.
00:27:22Oh, well, on one hand, I got dumped for a pair of headlights named Brandy.
00:27:27On the other, I reported Carl's credit card stolen and I cut the pockets out of all of his pants.
00:27:31So, a little from column A, a little from column B.
00:27:37Oh! Sorry.
00:27:42If it's any consolation, redheads are nuts.
00:27:45What do you mean?
00:27:47She'll make his life a living hell. It sounds like what he deserves.
00:27:50Brandy's not a redhead. She's blonde.
00:27:57So, uh, you maybe want to go with a deadbolt this time?
00:28:02What do you know?
00:28:06I saw him around town a couple of times with a redhead.
00:28:13People in the neighborhood were talking. I thought you knew.
00:28:17I didn't.
00:28:19Would you feel any better knowing that she's kind of chubby?
00:28:23Just leave.
00:28:24But what about the locks? If Carl is coming?
00:28:28Change the locks. Then leave.
00:28:30Okay. But I really am sorry.
00:28:33Change the locks. Don't talk to me. Then leave.
00:28:43Susan?
00:28:47Susan, did you call me? I couldn't really understand the message.
00:28:50Oh, wow.
00:28:55Want me to come back later?
00:29:00Are you all right?
00:29:03No. Of course you're not.
00:29:07I heard you and Mike are getting divorced.
00:29:09I'm sorry. Probably not what you want to hear, but I thought you were a great couple.
00:29:15Thanks.
00:29:17Sweet.
00:29:20Do you maybe remember what you wanted me to do?
00:29:31Locks.
00:29:32Change the locks. Got it. Let me go see what I got out in the truck.
00:29:50Susan, I don't know much about love. I dabbled in it once or twice, but it always
00:30:05seemed more trouble than it was worth. I told myself I wasn't missing much.
00:30:08But watching you all these years, how hard you've tried, how hurt you've been, but you still
00:30:23keep getting back up. You dust yourself off and you try again. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe.
00:30:33Maybe it is worth it. And I'm sure it's not going to help for you to hear me tell you this, but you're damn heroic to me.
00:30:48You are.
00:30:51Yeah.
00:30:51Hey, just dropping these off. Finally got them cut. Tell Jackson I'm sorry it took me so long.
00:30:57Actually, um, Jackson and I split up. Wow, I'm sorry. Am I sorry?
00:31:06Oh, yeah. He's a great guy. I just, uh, want to be alone right now. Well, good for you.
00:31:28Oh, hey. Um, as long as you're here, I think there's a loose shingle on my roof.
00:31:35Do you think maybe you could fix it for me? Oh, I'd be happy to. But just so you know,
00:31:40it'll be the last thing I ever fix for you. I'm retiring. What?
00:31:46Today's my last day. You can't retire. I break too many things.
00:31:51I know. You paid for the trip to Hawaii I'm going to take. Now, that's the right move. Be happy for me.
00:31:58Hey, I am happy for you. It's just, uh, this is going to sound crazy.
00:32:03What? Um, I think you have been the most consistent male relationship in my life.
00:32:10You're so stable and reliable and I just always thought you'd be around.
00:32:19Which is funny because I don't really know anything about you.
00:32:21Well, how about this? I fixed your shingle and when I'm done, you can ask me anything you want.
00:32:28Great. I will go to the store right now and get some wine so we can toast your retirement.
00:32:34I like that. Perfect way to end my time on Wisteria Lane.
00:32:39Oh, hey. What kind do you like? Red or white?
00:32:42Either one. Just make sure it's a screw top.
00:32:59Eli Scruggs was buried on a Saturday.
00:33:02And all the people that Eli had helped over the years came to pay their last respects.
00:33:09But one person was missing. Someone who had changed Eli's life.
00:33:16In a way he never forgot.
00:33:19Excuse me, ma'am. Hope I'm not interrupting your day.
00:33:23Not at all. Can I help you?
00:33:25I was hoping I could help you. I'm a handyman. Just moved into town looking for work.
00:33:30Oh, sorry. I, um, I don't have anything that needs fixing.
00:33:33Well, if you ever do, uh, here's my card.
00:33:38Eli Scruggs. What a distinctive name.
00:33:41Well, people do seem to remember it.
00:33:43So if any of your friends need help, I can do pretty much anything.
00:33:46I don't know. Um, if you have an extra card or two, I, I could hand them out.
00:33:51Oh, I'd really appreciate that.
00:33:52Oh.
00:34:11Anyway, thank you for your time.
00:34:18I have a broken vase.
00:34:20I'm sorry?
00:34:21I, I was, uh, dusting the other day and knocked it off the bureau like an idiot.
00:34:24Anyway, I saved the pieces. If you could glue it back together for me, I'd really appreciate it.
00:34:30Oh, ma'am. You don't have to do that.
00:34:35Mr. Scruggs, I need my vase fixed. It means a lot to me.
00:34:42Now, you're not going to make me beg, are you?
00:34:44No, ma'am. I'm not.
00:34:48Good. Come on in.
00:35:02Mr. John. Oh, didn't mean to disturb you. Your front door was wide open.
00:35:07Oh, Eli, I, I don't have any work for you today.
00:35:13I'm just here to drop off that handle you wanted. Finally found one that matched. Want me to install it?
00:35:17No. Not today.
00:35:20Okay. I'll just be going now.
00:35:26Eli, wait.
00:35:27What?
00:35:33Do you remember this?
00:35:35Oh, right.
00:35:36This is the very first thing you ever fixed for me.
00:35:39Yeah, that must have been, what, uh, two years ago.
00:35:40Yeah.
00:35:41I guess that glue really held, eh?
00:35:42Yeah. I want you to have it.
00:35:47What?
00:35:49Why?
00:35:52I've just been doing some thinking about the people I know.
00:35:55The ones who've walked into my life and made it better than it was before.
00:35:59People like you.
00:36:01Anyway, I've, I've, I've never said thank you.
00:36:06Oh, no. I'm, I'm the one who should thank you.
00:36:09You introduced me to all your friends. My business couldn't be better.
00:36:12Oh, I'm so glad.
00:36:17Anyway, I, uh, I want you to have this.
00:36:25Mrs. Young, are you all right?
00:36:30Everything's fine.
00:36:38Are you sure?
00:36:42You should go now.
00:36:56So, I look in the window, and there's blood everywhere, all over the walls,
00:37:26and the ceiling, not to mention her hardwood floors, which she just had installed last week.
00:37:31I don't know what she was thinking.
00:37:34I just wish there'd been some warning, some sign that she would do such a thing.
00:37:56Eli Scrugg sat in his truck for almost an hour, devastated that he had done nothing to save me.
00:38:09He then made a quiet vow to God.
00:38:14From that moment forward, he would do what he could to help people, to help them fix their lives.
00:38:24And for the rest of his life, that's exactly what he did.
00:38:31It was a lovely service.
00:38:41Eli would have liked it.
00:38:43Hell of a turnout.
00:38:44Who knew he had so many friends?
00:38:46I'm not surprised.
00:38:47He was a good man.
00:38:48I can't help feeling there's more we could have done to honor him.
00:38:51Well, let's just make sure we remember him.
00:38:54Eli would have said that's more than most people get.
00:38:56And you would have been right.
00:38:59As usual.
00:39:08Wait.
00:39:09I wanted to fix something for Eli for a change.
00:39:26And somewhere, in a place reserved for the very best of us, Eli Scrugg smiled and said, thank you.
00:39:56Porter was accused, but not convicted.
00:39:59Katherine's love affair.
00:40:00I got the flowers.
00:40:01Became serious.
00:40:03Mommy needs to lose a few pounds.
00:40:05Want to help mommy be beautiful again?
00:40:06No.
00:40:07As did Gabby's resolve.
00:40:09Here's my cookbook.
00:40:10And Brie's success came at a price.
00:40:13It can be a little tough sometimes.
00:40:14It's only to be expected.
00:40:15I don't think I'd do that.
00:40:17I know you don't.
00:40:18People don't talk about money in the suburbs.
00:40:30Mostly, because they don't need to.
00:40:34The ones who have it let you know with their brand new clothes,
00:40:39their expensive appliances,
00:40:43and their manicured lawns.
00:40:46The ones who don't have it let you know with barbecues that need replacing,
00:40:52walls that need painting,
00:40:55and classic cars that need to be sold.
00:41:00Here you go, Walter.
00:41:01She's all yours.
00:41:02This is so awesome.
00:41:04Where's Tom?
00:41:05I want to thank him for making this the greatest day of my life.
00:41:07He's inside, but between sobs, he wished you happy driving.
00:41:11Where is that man going with Tom's car?
00:41:17Oh, that man is Walter Brodsky, and he just bought it.
00:41:20Tom loves that car. Why would you sell it?
00:41:22Sadly, we can no longer afford Tom's midlife crisis.
00:41:25Okay, here's the deal. We're sort of broke.
00:41:30Oh, Lynette.
00:41:33Between Porter's legal fees and that ghost town that we call a restaurant...
00:41:37I thought Scott Moss was doing well.
00:41:39When times get tough, people do without things like pizza and sports cars.
00:41:43I am so sorry. I had no idea.
00:41:45It's okay.
00:41:46Just keep it under your hat. It's a little embarrassing.
00:41:48You should not be embarrassed.
00:41:50This is a horrible economy. We're all in the same boat.
00:41:57Hello, ladies.
00:41:59What do you think?
00:42:00You bought a new car?
00:42:01My book just made the Times bestseller list.
00:42:04Now they're talking three book deals, so I got the urge to splurge.
00:42:09Oh, and look what just blew on my windshield at the stop sign.
00:42:14Life is good.
00:42:16Yes, people don't talk about money in the suburbs.
00:42:21Because when they do, other people get angry.
00:42:26� door by.
00:42:35Whenever someone on Wisteria Lane buys a new car, a simple ritual is performed.
00:42:45is performed. So, how do you like my new car? It's gorgeous. I'm so jealous. I wish I had one.
00:42:53But on this day, one of the owner's friends refused to participate in the ritual.
00:42:59And even more surprisingly, the owner of the car in question didn't seem to notice. Look,
00:43:06there's even a refrigerator. The Lexus dealer said there's just enough room for a split of
00:43:10champagne and two chilled glasses. And the best thing is, it's a hybrid, so you can barely hear it.
00:43:20Let me show you. Actually, I have to go to work, but congratulations, Brie. It's a beauty.
00:43:31Was it just me, or was that a little abrupt? Don't take it personally. I think she's got
00:43:35other things on her mind. Oh dear, is something wrong? Well, apparently. She and Tom are having
00:43:43financial problems. They just had to sell Tom's car. And you know, I saw her at the recycling center.
00:43:49She was turning our cans in for money. Yikes. That's like a half a step away from selling your
00:43:55eggs on the internet. And here I am, rubbing my fabulous new car in her face. I feel awful.
00:44:01You don't. How could you have known? Thank God I didn't show her how the car parks itself.
00:44:08But you're going to show us, right?
00:44:12Well, it is pretty amazing.
00:44:20Well, it's nice to see you again, Mrs. Meyer.
00:44:23Thank you for agreeing to see us, Mr. Hobson. Running a school like Oak Ridge mustn't leave you with much...
00:44:31free time. Happy to oblige.
00:44:35So, I heard through the grapevine that there might be an opening for another student.
00:44:41I assume you're referring to the Henderson boy's expulsion?
00:44:44Yeah. He bit his teacher, huh? They had that problem with their older boy, Toby.
00:44:50It's a family of biters.
00:44:56The whole situation was incredibly unfortunate, but we can't tolerate that kind of behavior.
00:45:04Well, you wouldn't have to worry about that with MJ.
00:45:07He's so well-behaved.
00:45:10Look, I know how much you want your son at Oak Ridge.
00:45:13You've called us every week for the past five months.
00:45:16I've been too pushy.
00:45:17Oh, please don't take it out on MJ.
00:45:19He is such a bright kid.
00:45:20Say something in Spanish.
00:45:21I'm bored.
00:45:23Be bored in Spanish.
00:45:25Mrs. Meyer, you can relax.
00:45:28We would love to have MJ join us here.
00:45:31Seriously?
00:45:32Yes.
00:45:33As a matter of fact, his name was first on our waiting list.
00:45:36Fantastic.
00:45:38Here's a schedule for you.
00:45:40Here's some insurance forms you need to fill out.
00:45:43And here's the tuition.
00:45:44As you can see, it's gone up a tad.
00:45:48Yeah, it's quite a tad.
00:45:51But we're starting in the middle of the year, so we only pay half, right?
00:45:54Yes, we've already prorated it.
00:45:56That is half.
00:46:01Fantastic.
00:46:09Hey.
00:46:11I just thought of a way for us to celebrate our anniversary next week.
00:46:15What do you think about dinner at the Palm?
00:46:17The Palm.
00:46:18As in, they don't even show the prices on the menu at the Palm?
00:46:23Honey, we're still paying off credit card debt.
00:46:26Not anymore.
00:46:28The deal closed.
00:46:28I got the bonus.
00:46:29Oh, my God!
00:46:31That's great!
00:46:32Oh, why didn't you tell me this when you were begging for sex this morning?
00:46:35You would have closed that deal, too.
00:46:38Oh, we're rich again!
00:46:39Hallelujah!
00:46:40Well, we are not lighting cigars with $5 bills, Rich, but we are headed in the right direction.
00:46:45Oh, honey.
00:46:47We're going to be us again.
00:46:48The old Carlos and Gabby.
00:46:50You know what?
00:46:51I'm going to wear my dress from the night you proposed.
00:46:54You still fitting that?
00:46:55We're rich again!
00:46:59Hallelujah!
00:47:00Have you not noticed me working my butt off?
00:47:03I'm almost back to the weight I was when we got married!
00:47:06All I meant was, you don't have to wear an old dress.
00:47:10I will buy you a new one.
00:47:12No, no.
00:47:13This will be way more romantic.
00:47:15I'm one good colonic away from being the old me.
00:47:18I'll call the restaurant.
00:47:22They can write that on the cake.
00:47:30Sorry, I know how much you love that car.
00:47:33This is all I have to remember tonight.
00:47:38I called her Foxy.
00:47:40You want to know why?
00:47:41No.
00:47:42Tell her.
00:47:43I just heard.
00:47:44You sold the car?
00:47:45Yeah.
00:47:46Well, we needed the money.
00:47:48The restaurant is dying.
00:47:50Apparently, people don't want to buy their pizza from parents of an alleged arsonist.
00:47:53Yeah, but Porter didn't do it.
00:47:56Well, maybe people still think that he's guilty, or maybe it's the economy, or maybe it's both.
00:48:01I don't know.
00:48:01All I know is I am driving a dad car while some other guy is out rolling with Foxy.
00:48:09Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry.
00:48:15I wish there was something I could do.
00:48:17We should get going.
00:48:19But if we can help in any way, let us know, okay?
00:48:23Thanks.
00:48:24Okay, what just happened back there?
00:48:34Nothing.
00:48:35Oh, yeah, like that's going to work.
00:48:36Why can't you ever remember who you're dealing with?
00:48:39Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
00:48:41I can keep this up all day.
00:48:42Bob, fine.
00:48:45The day the case against Porter was dismissed, I was going over the discovery materials that the DA sent me.
00:48:49Okay, so?
00:48:51The witness who put Porter in the storage room at the club, the only one linking him directly to the arson, Tom's helpful buddy there, Dave Williams.
00:49:00What?
00:49:00Yeah.
00:49:02Porter wasn't even in the building.
00:49:04What the hell is Dave doing?
00:49:05I don't know, but we have to tell Tom and Lynette.
00:49:07No, it'll just get ugly.
00:49:08I'm okay with that.
00:49:10Lee, the charges have been dropped.
00:49:11It is no longer our business.
00:49:14Besides, there's something about that Dave guy that scares me.
00:49:19Oh, I don't get it.
00:49:33Only a few pounds away from my runway weight.
00:49:35You want me to let it out?
00:49:37That would be cheating.
00:49:38I'm going to try to go pee again.
00:49:40It's okay.
00:49:41You've had two children.
00:49:43The weight redistributes.
00:49:44Give into it.
00:49:45I did.
00:49:46Jean, you didn't just give into it.
00:49:48You slapped a piece of cheese on it.
00:49:50Yeah, I said it.
00:49:51Now just fix the hem.
00:49:52And this time, try not to leave the edges frayed.
00:50:01Hey, Edie, wait up!
00:50:06Now don't forget the clasp is broken.
00:50:08Oh, I'll replace it.
00:50:09It may not match exactly, but your hair will cover it.
00:50:13Jean, Carlos has taken me to the palm.
00:50:15Not out for hoagies.
00:50:17Make it perfect.
00:50:19Oh, I see Jean is back.
00:50:21Yeah, times are good.
00:50:23Not for her.
00:50:25Hey, Miss McCoskey said something about you losing five pounds in one day.
00:50:29How'd you do that?
00:50:29I got drunk on bourbon and threw up all over her lawn.
00:50:32No, not that story.
00:50:33Something about a boot camp.
00:50:35Oh, yeah.
00:50:35Just started.
00:50:36Very military, very intense.
00:50:39That's perfect.
00:50:39I'm trying to fit into an old dress I need in tents.
00:50:42Forget it.
00:50:42You can't get in without a recommendation.
00:50:45And I'm not recommending you.
00:50:46Why not?
00:50:47Because you'd embarrass me.
00:50:49This is real exercise.
00:50:50It's not the lotus position followed by a mocha latte.
00:50:54Oh, you're just afraid I'm going to look better than you.
00:50:566 a.m.
00:50:59The park.
00:51:00Prepare to die.
00:51:04Jeez, this is the tuition?
00:51:06We're going to blow his college fund on first grade.
00:51:09I know.
00:51:09I know.
00:51:10We may have to give up a few luxuries.
00:51:12Yeah, like food and heat.
00:51:14Okay, you know the problems they're having at his school.
00:51:16And now with all the budget cutbacks, I mean, this place is fabulous.
00:51:19I'm not saying it's not.
00:51:20I'd kill to send him there.
00:51:21I just can't swing it.
00:51:23Well, we've got to do something.
00:51:25My editor just quit and my books are not exactly flying off the shelves.
00:51:30Could you pick up some extra shifts?
00:51:32Oh, yeah, I will.
00:51:34As soon as they create a 30-hour day.
00:51:36I'm working around the clock.
00:51:38What about that big job you just did for the last three months?
00:51:41What did you do with that money?
00:51:43Susan, we're not married anymore.
00:51:45What do I do with my money?
00:51:47None of your business.
00:51:47Yeah, well, if we were still married, you'd...
00:51:51Probably would have waited until I finished my sentence.
00:51:57What's this?
00:51:58A check.
00:51:59I understand you and Tom are going through some rough times.
00:52:03No.
00:52:05Thank you, but I can't accept this.
00:52:09However, I would like to know how much I'm not accepting.
00:52:14$20,000?
00:52:15How many cookbooks are you selling, woman?
00:52:18We just went to a second printing, and now they're talking a three-book deal.
00:52:21So seriously, I am not going to miss that money.
00:52:24Wow.
00:52:25That must be nice.
00:52:26But I can't accept it.
00:52:31Why not?
00:52:31What's the point of success if you can't share it with the people you love?
00:52:34Because the people that you love may not be able to pay you back, and then you stop loving them.
00:52:38Then it's not a loan, it's a gift.
00:52:41Don't you have a birthday coming up?
00:52:44And so do you.
00:52:47And I'm going to feel real crappy when you unwrap your lavender bath beads.
00:52:51Come on, Lynette.
00:52:51You can't tell me this money won't take the pressure off.
00:52:55It would.
00:52:56But I can't.
00:52:59I wouldn't want it to affect our friendship.
00:53:01Oh.
00:53:02Okay.
00:53:04Although, how would you like to own a piece of an Italian restaurant?
00:53:09What?
00:53:10It wouldn't be a loan or a gift.
00:53:12It would be an investment that would buy you, say, 15% of Scavo's.
00:53:18Oh.
00:53:19Well, that's an intriguing offer.
00:53:20If we do well, you get a cut of the profits.
00:53:23If we go belly up, we liquidate, and you get the first 20,000.
00:53:27And then, of course, my family moves in with you.
00:53:31So, do we have a deal?
00:53:34We most certainly do.
00:53:36Partner.
00:53:40Some people think it's strange I have a contract for my exercise class.
00:53:43But I want people to understand the commitment I expect from them I found in the past.
00:53:47There you go.
00:53:47All signed.
00:53:49You didn't even read it?
00:53:51Oh, no need.
00:53:52I'm up for anything.
00:53:53Although, I did just get a manicure, so nothing that might chip and nail.
00:53:57Mrs. Solis, let me tell you what I learned in the Israeli army.
00:54:02A group without commitment is a group that will fail.
00:54:05The women in my morning class are committed.
00:54:07I am starting to think that you are not tough enough.
00:54:12Not tough enough?
00:54:14Let me tell you something, Mr. Iraqi army guy.
00:54:16Israeli.
00:54:17Whatever.
00:54:18I used to be a model.
00:54:19And you don't know what war is until you've been in a dressing room with a bunch of size
00:54:22zeros reaching for the last rice cake.
00:54:24I am plenty tough.
00:54:25I'm not so sure.
00:54:26Hey, I know some of those women in your exercise class.
00:54:29The most exercise they ever get is cutting a piece of cake.
00:54:31That's a lap.
00:54:32Excuse me?
00:54:33In the contract, there are certain words I do not tolerate.
00:54:38Cake.
00:54:39Tired.
00:54:40Can't.
00:54:41Donut.
00:54:42If I hear them, you owe me a lap.
00:54:46It's an exercise class.
00:54:47Why would anyone say donut?
00:54:48That's another lap.
00:54:51You know, maybe I should give this a little gander.
00:54:53Come on, ladies.
00:55:01When I was in the special forces, we would do sit-ups in 115 degree weather.
00:55:05I still have sand in my ass.
00:55:08You people are weak.
00:55:09Let's go.
00:55:10Let's go.
00:55:14Gabby, knock it off.
00:55:15You're going to get us all in trouble.
00:55:17It's hard.
00:55:18Of course it is.
00:55:20That's why it's called boot camp.
00:55:21Just hang in there, Gabby.
00:55:23We all went through it.
00:55:25Shut up, Mona.
00:55:25I'm puking air.
00:55:28He's coming.
00:55:29Get crunching.
00:55:32Hey.
00:55:32Did I hear talking?
00:55:34Sorry, sir.
00:55:35She got a little nauseous.
00:55:38I don't give a rat's ass what your problem is.
00:55:40You're rats on your own time.
00:55:42Okay.
00:55:44We need to talk.
00:55:45Gabby, no.
00:55:46What the hell are you doing?
00:55:47Get your butt back down.
00:55:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:49Time out.
00:55:50Time out?
00:55:51Look, I appreciate this whole military commando act, but I'm new at this, and frankly, this
00:55:55is a bit much.
00:55:56A bit much?
00:55:57Yeah.
00:55:58Are we going to get a break soon?
00:56:01Oh.
00:56:02And we want a break.
00:56:03Like maybe some coffee.
00:56:05Some pastries.
00:56:07Oh, that sounds so yummy.
00:56:09You got any?
00:56:09No, I don't got any.
00:56:11Now get down or I'm going to put you down.
00:56:13I said time out.
00:56:13There is no time out.
00:56:15You signed a contract.
00:56:16Now get down.
00:56:17Don't take that tone with me.
00:56:18I am paying you.
00:56:19Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
00:56:22Who brought that here?
00:56:24That would be me.
00:56:26Sorry, sir.
00:56:28Because I'm eating, our two-mile run is now four miles.
00:56:34Oh, my God.
00:56:45Look at those.
00:56:46Wow.
00:56:46Hey.
00:56:47What's going on?
00:56:48Oh, Susan, you got to check these out.
00:56:51Oh, please don't make a fuss.
00:56:52They're magnificent.
00:56:53Susan, look at them.
00:56:54Uh, what am I looking at exactly?
00:56:56The pearls.
00:56:57Oh, those.
00:56:58Oh, those.
00:56:59Oh, they're stunning.
00:57:03Well, I have a big bar mitzvah to prep.
00:57:06See ya.
00:57:09She's so lucky.
00:57:10Mike is such a great guy.
00:57:12What?
00:57:13Mike bought those?
00:57:14He bought her pearls?
00:57:15He's a keeper.
00:57:16Oh, that's right.
00:57:19You didn't keep him, did you?
00:57:23That suit.
00:57:29Hi.
00:57:29Lynette, hi.
00:57:30Oh, I wish I had time for a chat, but I'm on my way to a meeting.
00:57:33I might design my own line of bakeware.
00:57:35Can you imagine?
00:57:36This will just take a sec.
00:57:37Okay.
00:57:37Tom and I are so grateful for your investment that we want to do something special for you.
00:57:41Oh, that sounds lovely.
00:57:43We'd like to shut Scavo's down for the night and throw a party in your honor.
00:57:46Just family and friends.
00:57:48We'd toast your success and have a night of fun, just like old times.
00:57:51What do you say?
00:57:52Well, that sounds nice.
00:57:52Can we walk and talk?
00:57:53Yeah, yeah.
00:57:54You know what might be even better?
00:57:56My publisher has been begging me to do a local launch for my book.
00:57:59I could do a signing at your restaurant and finally fill the place.
00:58:03Would you hold that for a moment?
00:58:04Oh.
00:58:05Well, we've filled the place many times, but it's your party.
00:58:08Whatever you want.
00:58:09Oh, you can just put that on a hanger in the back.
00:58:11What I want is to make this an opportunity for you.
00:58:14We could turn one of your dismal Thursday night seatings into a real event.
00:58:20I don't know what to say.
00:58:22Don't thank me.
00:58:23It was your idea.
00:58:24Right.
00:58:30But I thought of it.
00:58:31Susan Meyer knew she couldn't always give her son everything she would have liked.
00:58:40But when she saw her child's tuition around Catherine Mayfair's neck, she felt something
00:58:49had been stolen from him.
00:58:52And it didn't take her long to decide how she was going to get it back.
00:58:57Susan, hi.
00:59:05Hi.
00:59:06You home?
00:59:06Uh, yeah.
00:59:07I'm just about to jump in the shower.
00:59:08What's up?
00:59:09I'm going crazy because I think I left my front door unlocked.
00:59:12Could you run and check?
00:59:13I'll stay on the line.
00:59:17No, no.
00:59:18I totally understand.
00:59:20One day, I don't lock up.
00:59:22I always think that's the day somebody's going to break it up.
00:59:25Exactly.
00:59:31And so even though I was already halfway to the airport, I turned around and I came home
00:59:35and, yep, I had left the garbage disposal on.
00:59:39So ever since then, I always check.
00:59:42Oh, I'm the same way.
00:59:43Anyway, you can relax.
00:59:44Front door's all locked up.
00:59:45Oh, you know what?
00:59:45I'm actually still worried about the side door.
00:59:48Do you think you could check that, too?
00:59:50Already did.
00:59:50You're good.
00:59:51Well, I'm going to take that shower now.
00:59:53See you later, hon.
00:59:54Bye.
01:00:20Mike, is that you?
01:00:36Just in time.
01:00:39Susan?
01:00:40Hi.
01:00:41Susan Meyer.
01:00:50For God's sake, can you pack my pearls?
01:00:55Pearls or towel?
01:00:57You decide.
01:00:58You wouldn't dare.
01:00:59I have been naked on this street.
01:01:01It would be nice to take the heat off that story.
01:01:03Have you lost your mind?
01:01:04Mike said he can't afford to pay for MJ's private school.
01:01:07Now I know why.
01:01:08He wants to see his girlfriend wearing pearls when she flashes him.
01:01:12What?
01:01:13He wouldn't pay for MJ's school?
01:01:15No.
01:01:15So I was going to take these and sell them to try to pay for it.
01:01:19And yes, now that I'm saying it out loud, I hear how stupid that sounds.
01:01:22I can't believe Mike would do that.
01:01:24Well, he did.
01:01:24Hey, Mrs. Mayfair.
01:01:29It's nice to see you.
01:01:36Perhaps we should discuss this later.
01:01:54This can't be good.
01:01:59So is this a welcome home, we missed you kind of thing, or?
01:02:05Oh.
01:02:07Damn right, O.
01:02:08What happened to I'm broke and can't afford to send MJ to private school?
01:02:11Don't get me wrong, Mike.
01:02:12It was a wonderfully generous present.
01:02:15But you can't go around blowing your kids' money on jewelry for your girlfriend.
01:02:19What did these cost you?
01:02:20$4,000?
01:02:21$5,000?
01:02:21$129.
01:02:26What?
01:02:27They're fake, okay?
01:02:29And I knew how badly you wanted pearls.
01:02:31I couldn't afford real ones.
01:02:33And the salesman swore you'd never know the difference.
01:02:35And she didn't.
01:02:38Well, at least you won't feel bad if you ever lose them.
01:02:47I just wanted to get you a really nice gift.
01:02:49And I don't know, I guess I was embarrassed when I couldn't.
01:02:53Mike, don't ever feel like you have to spend money to impress me.
01:02:58Okay?
01:03:00Trust me.
01:03:01I'm already very impressed.
01:03:03Okay, okay, point made.
01:03:12Move along.
01:03:14I'll go fix us some dinner.
01:03:19How dare you?
01:03:20I didn't know they were fake.
01:03:22I mean, how dare you think that I would put jewelry for my girlfriend ahead of my son's education.
01:03:28Okay, maybe I jumped to conclusions, but this school is important for MJ.
01:03:33I feel really bad that we're falling short.
01:03:36Susan, I've been at work since 6 o'clock this morning.
01:03:38And after I inhale a five-minute dinner, I'm going back out until midnight.
01:03:40I'm busting my ass to give our son the best.
01:03:43So if we're falling short, it's not because of me.
01:03:46What?
01:04:03Where are you?
01:04:04You're late for training.
01:04:06Oh, yeah, I quit that.
01:04:08There is no quitting.
01:04:09It's in the contract.
01:04:11Yeah, well, maybe you should take it up with my lawyer.
01:04:14Here he is.
01:04:16We're not leaving.
01:04:26Come on, ladies.
01:04:27Keep going.
01:04:28Keep it moving.
01:04:32What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:04:34When you don't come to boot camp, boot camp comes to you.
01:04:36Fall in.
01:04:37Are you out of your mind?
01:04:38I have two sleeping children.
01:04:39Oh, I know.
01:04:40I've seen the cellulite.
01:04:42Fall in.
01:04:43Do it, Gabby.
01:04:44There is no quitting.
01:04:45Oh, don't get all holier than thou, Mona.
01:04:47I saw you pull into the donut shack yesterday.
01:04:50Donut!
01:04:50That's a lot.
01:04:51Oh, really?
01:04:52Well, try this on for size.
01:04:54I'm going back to bed because I'm tired.
01:04:57And when I wake up, maybe I'll have some cake.
01:04:59And you can't stop me.
01:05:01Gabby, where are you going?
01:05:12If you don't get out there, he's going to take it out on the rest of us.
01:05:15Well, frankly, some of them need it.
01:05:16I just came for a little remodel, and there are some real teardowns out there.
01:05:20Wow.
01:05:20You are one spoiled, selfish little brat.
01:05:23Oh, for God's sakes, Edie.
01:05:25It's a stupid exercise class.
01:05:27I tried it.
01:05:27It sucked.
01:05:28I don't want to do it anymore.
01:05:29Lighten up.
01:05:30Well, that stupid little exercise class is filled with women who bust their asses three
01:05:34times a week while raising kids and holding down full-time jobs.
01:05:37Well, they're crazy.
01:05:39He yells, and they jump.
01:05:40He tells them to run all the way over here, and they do it.
01:05:43He didn't make us come here.
01:05:45We agreed to.
01:05:47What the hell for?
01:05:48Because you told us that it was important to you to get into that dress.
01:05:53So we came here to support you.
01:05:59You wanted the old Gabby back?
01:06:01Well, congratulations, you got her.
01:06:03A self-centered, obnoxious jerk.
01:06:07Personally, I liked poor, paunchy Gabby better.
01:06:10At least she had some humility.
01:06:18Okay, time to stretch.
01:06:37Not you!
01:06:38You are 25 minutes late.
01:06:40Give me 50.
01:06:4050.
01:06:4150.
01:06:4150.
01:06:48Oh, my God, you're purr!
01:06:59Well, technically, I'm she.
01:07:02But yes, your turkey Tetrazzini saved my marriage.
01:07:05Would you sign this for me?
01:07:07Certainly.
01:07:08I am so excited to be tasting your food tonight.
01:07:11My food?
01:07:12What are you talking about?
01:07:13Oh, well, it says here the chefs of Skavos are going to be making recipes from your book.
01:07:18They are?
01:07:20I can't wait to try that four-cheese pizza.
01:07:22Well, you might have to.
01:07:24Excuse me.
01:07:26Look at that.
01:07:28I understand you and your fellow chefs will be serving my four-cheese pizza tonight.
01:07:32Yep.
01:07:32Just adding the Parmesan.
01:07:36But that's commercial Parmesan.
01:07:38So?
01:07:39So that's like the dust they sweep off the floor of a place that makes real cheese.
01:07:44Oh, no, it's fine.
01:07:45We use it all the time.
01:07:46Perhaps you do, but my recipe specifies fresh grated.
01:07:50Bree, no one will notice.
01:07:51Parmesan is the fourth cheese in a four-cheese pizza.
01:07:53It's the Ringo of these cheeses.
01:07:56Hey, Mr. Skavos said the grease trap is overflowing again.
01:07:59Oh, for Pete's sake.
01:08:00I'll be right back.
01:08:02Take your time.
01:08:06I'm sorry.
01:08:07We haven't been introduced.
01:08:08I'm Bree Hodge, part owner.
01:08:10Hi, I'm Cindy.
01:08:11We'll chat later.
01:08:12Roll out some dough and show me where the basil is.
01:08:15We'll be serving three-cheese pizza tonight.
01:08:17But what about the pizzas that we just made?
01:08:32Tom, I can't tell you how happy I am for you.
01:08:35This place is packed.
01:08:36It's packed.
01:08:37Yep, you know what?
01:08:37Bree really came through for us.
01:08:39Wait, wait, wait.
01:08:39Even if she had, you would have landed on your feet.
01:08:41I had total faith in you.
01:08:43And you have had three scotch and sodas.
01:08:45Dude, this money goes right in your pocket.
01:08:47Oh, I'm just supporting you.
01:08:50Hey, I got to go check on that grease trap.
01:08:51Yeah, I'll give you back to Edie.
01:08:52She wanted me home by 10.
01:08:53But dude, congratulations.
01:08:55I'm proud of you.
01:08:57See ya.
01:08:57Hey, Tom.
01:09:00Yeah?
01:09:02Nothing.
01:09:03Never mind.
01:09:04You're busy.
01:09:04You know, wait.
01:09:04I just want you to know that that guy's not your friend.
01:09:10Who, Dave?
01:09:11Is there someplace we can talk?
01:09:14Yeah.
01:09:24Son of a...
01:09:25If this doesn't stop your mother-in-law from criticizing your cooking, I will give you a full refund.
01:09:34Hey, can I borrow you a sec?
01:09:36Now people are waiting.
01:09:37You'll still be a celebrity in five minutes.
01:09:39Come on.
01:09:40Yeah.
01:09:49You want to explain this?
01:09:50Oh, dear.
01:09:51I was hoping to spare your feelings, but since you know, I wasn't comfortable having my recipe made with substandard ingredients.
01:09:58We use that Parmesan all the time.
01:10:00You can't go changing things without asking me.
01:10:03Hey, you made me partner.
01:10:05I can change 15%, and I chose the Parmesan.
01:10:08And I don't know if you've heard, but people are raving about my pizza.
01:10:11Well, they probably would have loved my pizza, too, but we'll never know because my partner threw it in the garbage.
01:10:16What a waste.
01:10:17Fine.
01:10:18I'll reimburse you if that'll make things right.
01:10:20Oh, sure.
01:10:22It's only money, right?
01:10:25What's that supposed to mean?
01:10:27We all know how well you're doing, Brie.
01:10:28You have made that very clear.
01:10:30But you shouldn't be lording it over everybody just because you've caught a couple of breaks.
01:10:34Caught a couple of breaks?
01:10:36I've worked my ass off to get where I am.
01:10:38I've worked my ass off, too.
01:10:40I just wasn't as lucky as you.
01:10:41Well, I've always believed that we create our own luck.
01:10:43Meaning that I've created my own failure?
01:10:47Well, not completely, but let's face it, you do cut corners.
01:10:50I mean, one of the things I can teach you is the importance of the attention to detail.
01:10:54Wow, talk about luck.
01:10:56When I offered to throw you this little thank you party, I never imagined that it would turn into an opportunity for me to learn from the great Brie Hodge.
01:11:05Well, I'm not the one who needed $20,000 to keep my business afloat.
01:11:08No, you're the one who's never going to let me forget it.
01:11:11Where are you going?
01:11:12Home.
01:11:13Tell me how the party I threw for you turns out.
01:11:15Annette, I don't understand why you're so upset.
01:11:18I know you don't, but five years ago you would have.
01:11:25My car.
01:11:28You know that was an accident, right?
01:11:30I did the best I could on the class, Mrs. Solis.
01:11:35I don't think you'll be able to tell the difference.
01:11:38Okay, be honest.
01:11:40Here I come.
01:11:51So what do you think?
01:11:53You are stunning.
01:11:57Radiant.
01:11:58Really?
01:12:00Really.
01:12:01You're back, Mrs. Solis.
01:12:03Exactly like you were before.
01:12:05Oh, I think I've changed a little bit.
01:12:07Not that I can see.
01:12:13If there's nothing else, I'll be going.
01:12:17Jean, wait.
01:12:18What is it?
01:12:19Is there a problem?
01:12:20No, no, it's perfect.
01:12:23I just want to tell you how helpful you've been to me over the years.
01:12:27And I'm really grateful.
01:12:35Hey, buddy.
01:12:41How was the rest of the...
01:12:41I didn't know what you did.
01:12:47What?
01:12:48Don't give me that.
01:12:49I know that you told the cops that Porter set the fire.
01:12:52I didn't say he set the fire.
01:12:53I only said I saw him in the back hallway.
01:12:55You couldn't have.
01:12:56He wasn't there.
01:12:57Tom, the cops were really grilling me.
01:13:01They wouldn't let up.
01:13:02I had to tell them what I thought I saw.
01:13:05Porter could have gone to jail.
01:13:07You almost destroyed my family.
01:13:09Destroyed our business.
01:13:11I'll make it up to you.
01:13:12I swear.
01:13:13I never meant to hurt you or Lynette.
01:13:16Well, Lynette doesn't know about this.
01:13:17I didn't tell her.
01:13:18If I had, you'd be dead.
01:13:21I am so sorry.
01:13:23I never should have said anything to the cops.
01:13:25It was dark.
01:13:26I'd been drinking.
01:13:27You've got to believe me.
01:13:31Stop.
01:13:33Just stop.
01:13:37Are you done?
01:13:38Yeah.
01:13:38Yeah.
01:13:40This is crazy.
01:13:44I mean, there's got to be some way we can work this out.
01:13:47We're friends.
01:13:50That's what I thought, too.
01:13:53But I don't know who you are.
01:14:00Tom.
01:14:03Tom!
01:14:10Can I ask you something?
01:14:20Go ahead.
01:14:20Shoot.
01:14:22I've been thinking a lot about your first wife.
01:14:27Edie.
01:14:28I know.
01:14:29Just one question and then I'll shut it.
01:14:30I don't like talking about her.
01:14:34It has been weeks since I found out she even existed and I've never mentioned her once.
01:14:39Come on.
01:14:40Look at this as my reward.
01:14:43I'm tired.
01:14:46Okay.
01:14:47One question.
01:14:50Being married to her.
01:14:51Mm-hmm.
01:14:53Well, being married to me.
01:14:56What's the biggest difference?
01:15:00Honestly?
01:15:02Our marriage is more real.
01:15:05Really?
01:15:06Mm.
01:15:06In what way?
01:15:13Well, with her, it was like a fairy tale.
01:15:18I thought it would last forever.
01:15:20It didn't.
01:15:22What you and I have is more real because I know it's not forever.
01:15:28When I hold you, when I kiss you, I try to remind myself to appreciate the moment because tomorrow may never come.
01:15:36Love is just temporary.
01:15:43The way the fairy tale ends is death.
01:15:54My first instinct was to ask you if she was prettier than me.
01:15:59When will I learn to go with my gut?
01:16:00I'm sorry.
01:16:11You can't afford the tuition?
01:16:13No.
01:16:14But I read in your brochure that faculty members get a 50% discount.
01:16:18So, for your art department, how would you like to hire an award-winning children's book illustrator who's great with kids and has a face you can't say no to?
01:16:31Unfortunately, our art department is fully staffed.
01:16:35Can't say no.
01:16:35Miss Meyer, I appreciate your enthusiasm and the face, but I'm afraid it just won't work out.
01:16:46I wish you the best of luck.
01:16:48Yes.
01:16:51Great.
01:16:52No, wrong.
01:16:59Mrs. Meyer, please, I'm so busy.
01:17:01Look, I know I said that MJ was a star student, but the truth is, he's one of those kids that needs extra attention.
01:17:09The classes at his school are way too big, and I see him getting lost in the shuffle.
01:17:14And if he gets lost now, my ex-husband is doing everything that he can, and I need to know that I am too.
01:17:25I will serve lunches.
01:17:28I will be a janitor.
01:17:30Anything.
01:17:33But I am not walking out on my son's future.
01:17:39Well, one of our art teachers does need an assistant.
01:17:44But you're completely overqualified.
01:17:46I'll take it.
01:17:52Congratulations on your new job.
01:17:55Congratulations on getting me out of your office.
01:18:03What's that?
01:18:04A check for the damage to your car.
01:18:06I can't afford to go through my insurance company.
01:18:08Oh, Lynette, don't be silly.
01:18:09It's just a bumper.
01:18:10You don't need to do that.
01:18:14Yes, I do.
01:18:16And the minute we're back on our feet, I am going to pay back your investment every penny.
01:18:22With interest.
01:18:24Lynette, stop.
01:18:25Wait.
01:18:25Please.
01:18:26Don't be this way.
01:18:27I don't want money to get in the way of our friendship.
01:18:30Yeah.
01:18:32I think it's a little late for that.
01:18:34I don't want money to get in the way of our friendship.
01:18:34Yeah.
01:18:34I think it's a little late for that.
01:18:34There's a lot you can do with money in the suburbs.
01:18:50You can pay for a night on the town.
01:18:52You can provide a private school education.
01:19:04You can purchase a token of affection.
01:19:06But the one thing you must never do with money is use it as a weapon.
01:19:17Because someone always gets hurt.
01:19:21It pertains to righteousness.
01:19:32The conviction is the death.
01:19:33It's a magicå°± every time you make free.
01:19:34It's a nightmare.
01:19:35It's a magic just all.
01:19:35It's certain or not.
01:19:36It's a magic point.
01:19:36You can divide the education.
01:19:38Go on, go, go!
01:19:38Go on, go.
01:19:38Go in, go!
01:19:38Go on, go.
01:19:40Go on go.
01:19:40Go on, go.
01:19:41Go on, go on go, go.
01:19:42Go on.
01:19:42Go, go.
01:19:42Go on, go.
01:19:42Go on.
01:19:42Go on go.
01:19:43Go on, go.
01:19:44Go.
01:19:45Go, go.
01:19:45Go on, go.
01:19:46Look at La Boom, go.
01:19:46Go on, go.
01:19:47Go on, go.
01:19:47Go.
01:19:47Go on.
01:19:49Go, go.
01:19:49Go on, go.