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  • 6/21/2025
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Transcript
00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives, Brie discovered a family secret.
00:00:06Oh, I'm gonna be sick!
00:00:08Lynette struggled with chemotherapy.
00:00:11While Susan took joy in being pregnant...
00:00:13I'm eating for two.
00:00:15...the biggest obstacle to Carlos and Gabby...
00:00:18The IRS could make me testify against you.
00:00:20...was the promise Edie forced Carlos to make.
00:00:23We're engaged. I really did care for Edie.
00:00:25But I can't let it ruin my life.
00:00:30All children love to play games.
00:00:35But before they can race their bikes...
00:00:38Or jump their ropes...
00:00:40Or toss their frisbees...
00:00:42Children understand they must first convince their friends to play along with them.
00:00:48The same is true for adults.
00:00:51Hi Gabby, it's me. I'm throwing a party Saturday night. Guess what kind?
00:00:55A charades party?
00:00:56Didn't you just throw one?
00:00:57No, that was a year ago.
00:00:59Oh, right. Guess it's time for another one.
00:01:02Sure is. Can you come?
00:01:04Um, sorry Victor needs me at this political thing.
00:01:08Damn. Damn, damn.
00:01:10Aww, you have to come. You're the best charades player I know.
00:01:14That's sweet. And totally accurate.
00:01:17But I'm really whipped from the chemo, so...
00:01:19Oh, there's my other line. Can you ask me next time, okay hon?
00:01:22Okay, bye.
00:01:25Hello.
00:01:26Oh, hey Bree.
00:01:28Hmm, what's up?
00:01:29Well, I stopped by Catherine's last night just to get a recipe, and you'll never believe what I overheard.
00:01:34She slapped her kid? No.
00:01:36Yeah.
00:01:37And get this, when Adam said Dylan was just going to keep asking questions, Catherine said, and I quote,
00:01:43well, we're just going to have to find better lies.
00:01:46Oh, hang on, I've got another call.
00:01:47Don't answer it.
00:01:48Susan, she's hosting another game night.
00:01:51Another one?
00:01:52It's time for an anonymous letter.
00:01:54Wait.
00:01:55Is Catherine going to Susan's charade night?
00:01:57Probably. Why?
00:01:58We should go too.
00:02:00Get a few drinks in her.
00:02:01See if she loosens up.
00:02:03I doubt a woman like Catherine is going to spill her secrets just because she's had a little wine.
00:02:07I don't know.
00:02:08You came out with some interesting things before you swore off the sauce.
00:02:11Well, none that I recall.
00:02:13Didn't you tell me you lost your virginity in the backseat of a...
00:02:16Point. Well taken.
00:02:17I'll bring the wine.
00:02:18Susan!
00:02:19Good news.
00:02:20We can come to the party after all.
00:02:22Hey, you know who else you should invite?
00:02:24Yeah, I am feeling much better so count me in.
00:02:27Will our new neighbor be coming?
00:02:30Of course.
00:02:31I love your charades parties and I hope you're inviting that delightful Catherine Mayfair.
00:02:38So you were paid a very nice compliment today.
00:02:41I was?
00:02:42Yes.
00:02:43I am hosting a charades party and all of my friends went out of their way to insist I invite you.
00:02:47Really?
00:02:48Really?
00:02:49Yes.
00:02:50Not all adults like to play games.
00:02:54But the ones who do?
00:02:57Play to win.
00:02:59Stella Wingfield hated to cook.
00:03:10Still, she spent that Friday morning grating cheese and greasing a pan and laying in macaroni because her eldest daughter was sick.
00:03:14And Stella could no longer sit by and do nothing.
00:03:29Lunchtime!
00:03:30Oh, no thanks.
00:03:31Oh, come on, I made it for you special.
00:03:32You've got to keep your strength up.
00:03:33I appreciate the effort, but I told you I can't keep anything down and FYI, mac and cheese is halfway to vomit.
00:03:44You might as well have given me a plate of creamed corn.
00:03:47Aren't you taking the anti-nausea drug?
00:03:49Yeah, I am taking it.
00:03:50It's just not working.
00:03:52Well, I know something that might help your nausea and boost your appetite.
00:04:00Perhaps a little visit for my old friend, Mary Jane.
00:04:06You're suggesting pot?
00:04:09A lot of chemo patients use it.
00:04:11Hell, I did.
00:04:12Come on.
00:04:15Let mama score you some kick-ass chronic.
00:04:18Kick-ass chronic.
00:04:21Uh-huh.
00:04:22You're a grandmother.
00:04:23Shouldn't you be off somewhere knitting an afghan?
00:04:25Just trying to ease your pain.
00:04:27Well, thanks.
00:04:29But I prefer not to get my medication from some guy under a bridge.
00:04:36Suit yourself.
00:04:46Hey.
00:04:48What's this?
00:04:49A crib.
00:04:51Oh, and look.
00:04:53Safety latch.
00:04:55I figured if the baby takes after you, accident proof is key.
00:04:58Honey, you know, I'm still in my first trimester.
00:05:01Don't you think it's a little early to be making cribs?
00:05:03Early would be painting it pink or blue.
00:05:05But I got both, so we'll cover either way.
00:05:11Great.
00:05:12And whether it's a boy or a girl, Colts fan.
00:05:16That's non-negotiable.
00:05:18Um, Bree's home.
00:05:20I'll be right back.
00:05:26Look sharp, Susan.
00:05:28God, it's getting harder and harder to keep her at arm's length.
00:05:31I never knew she was such a hugger.
00:05:33Nothing to run interference?
00:05:34No, no.
00:05:35Getting good at props.
00:05:38Hey, Susan, what's up?
00:05:39I need a favor.
00:05:40Um, I remember you mentioning that you liked your obstetrician.
00:05:43Can I get his number?
00:05:45I thought you were using Dr. Mayfair.
00:05:47Yeah, I don't know.
00:05:48It's getting a little weird.
00:05:50You know, Adam is my neighbor.
00:05:52Well, you don't mind Orson being your dentist?
00:05:54Well, that's because I don't blush when Orson says open wide.
00:05:58You know, my OB is all the way across town.
00:06:01You just do not want to drive that far.
00:06:03Oh, well, we could schedule our appointments together and carpool.
00:06:06You know, pregnant gals on the road.
00:06:08It does sound fun, but I don't think my doctor's taking on any new patients.
00:06:12Oh, I can talk him into it.
00:06:13What's his name?
00:06:15I, um, don't remember.
00:06:19You don't remember?
00:06:20No, you know, I usually just call him doctor.
00:06:23Bree, just get me the number.
00:06:33Here you go, but please don't mention my name.
00:06:44As I said, you know, he's overbooked, and I just don't want to get on his bad side.
00:06:47I'm so excited.
00:06:48Pregnant gals sharing a doctor.
00:06:54Bless you.
00:06:55Sorry.
00:06:56Probably just allergies, but, you know, you don't want to take any chances.
00:07:03Hey, can I get a drink?
00:07:09Yeah, sure.
00:07:18By the way, I missed a start.
00:07:20Oh, thanks.
00:07:30I'd say the car's clean enough.
00:07:31Catherine.
00:07:32You did seem awfully friendly.
00:07:34Do you know her?
00:07:35No.
00:07:36We said two words.
00:07:37She criticized my car washing.
00:07:38Hmm.
00:07:39It's funny.
00:07:40When I criticize you, you don't put on a big goofy grin.
00:07:42You really need to stop this.
00:07:44Given our history, shouldn't I be saying that to you?
00:07:46Catherine, I can't just not speak to women.
00:07:48I'm a gynecologist, for God's sake.
00:07:50Yes, I know.
00:07:54But you don't have to bring your work home with you.
00:07:56You leaving already?
00:08:09Edie asked me to help her pick out a gift for her sister.
00:08:13So I gotta swing by the mall.
00:08:15When can I see you next?
00:08:17Well, Victor has a teacher's union thing on Thursday.
00:08:21Guess I'll see you on Thursday.
00:08:24Carlos, what's happening here?
00:08:27I mean, with us, why are we still sneaking around?
00:08:30You know exactly why.
00:08:31Oh, come on.
00:08:32Edie's recovered from her little suicide attempt.
00:08:34Don't you think it's time to move on?
00:08:36Look, I've got some things going on, and I need them to pay off before I can make a move.
00:08:39Really, I don't have a choice.
00:08:41Okay, but if you did have a choice, would it be a hard one?
00:08:45I mean, it's not like you're in love with Edie, is it?
00:08:48No, I don't love Edie.
00:08:50And I've got a plan to get her out of my life forever.
00:08:52Just give me two weeks, okay?
00:08:56Bracelet's always nice.
00:09:01Grady's sister.
00:09:04Good idea.
00:09:27Here's the thing.
00:09:28My daughter has cancer.
00:09:30She's so nauseous, she's stopped eating.
00:09:32And I can't just stand by and watch her waste away.
00:09:35So I asked around, and people thought you might be able to get me what I need.
00:09:40You follow my drift?
00:09:42Um, yeah.
00:09:43You want me to score you some weed?
00:09:46The best stuff you can get.
00:09:47Nothing's too good for my little girl.
00:09:57Darling?
00:09:58What is it?
00:09:59I don't want you to worry.
00:10:01I just got off the phone with the convent.
00:10:05It seems Danielle took a little spill.
00:10:08You're eight and a half months pregnant.
00:10:10What in heaven's name were you doing rollerblading?
00:10:13I'm bored.
00:10:14All I do is lay around.
00:10:15In your condition, that's what you should be doing.
00:10:17And where on earth did you get skates in a convent?
00:10:20I borrowed them from one of the eating disorder girls.
00:10:23They have all the good exercise equipment.
00:10:25Danielle, what if your reckless behavior had hurt the baby?
00:10:28They're going to examine me.
00:10:29I'm sure the baby's fine.
00:10:30Yes, and it is going to stay that way because I have instructed Sister Teresa to keep you sequestered in your room until the baby is born.
00:10:37What am I supposed to do for fun?
00:10:39You won't even get me a DVD player.
00:10:40Well, I was hoping that you could use these last few weeks for reflection and personal growth.
00:10:45I hate you.
00:10:48Clearly it would be time well spent.
00:10:57How was the lasagna?
00:10:58Why don't you ask it yourself?
00:11:00Honey.
00:11:01Sorry.
00:11:02At least eat a little.
00:11:03We need you in fighting form for charades tonight.
00:11:06Yeah, about that, I don't think I'm going to make it.
00:11:08You have to.
00:11:09You are the charade's assassin.
00:11:12They still talk about the night that you guessed the Americanization of Emily.
00:11:15Only in 15 seconds.
00:11:16Twelve.
00:11:17And that's my point.
00:11:18I'm undefeated.
00:11:19Why spoil my winning streak by playing when I'm not up to it?
00:11:22Honey.
00:11:23People know that you're sick.
00:11:25They don't expect you to be at your absolute best.
00:11:29Tom.
00:11:30Hair loss and constant nausea, those are inconveniences.
00:11:33Losing at charades to Susan Meyer, that is just flat out intolerable.
00:11:40Hey, Andrew.
00:11:41Hey.
00:11:42What's up?
00:11:43A package for Lynette's mom got delivered to our house by mistake.
00:11:46Oh, I'm trying to...
00:11:47I've got it, Tom.
00:11:48It's a pattern.
00:11:49I'm knitting Lynette an afghan.
00:11:52I'm Afghan.
00:11:53Yes.
00:11:54Yes.
00:11:55Yes.
00:11:56Yes.
00:11:57Yes.
00:11:59Yes.
00:12:00Yes.
00:12:02Yes.
00:12:03Yes.
00:12:06A friend of mine recommended this place.
00:12:36It's not exactly what I expected.
00:12:40Best be one heck of a doctor though, huh?
00:12:43I don't know.
00:12:44I just come here to buy clean urine.
00:12:49Shoot!
00:12:50Those are only for grown-ups.
00:12:52Why?
00:12:53Because they have special medicine in them.
00:12:55Like the grown-up iced tea you always drink?
00:12:58Similar.
00:12:59How about some ice cream instead?
00:13:00And you can watch TV till your eyes fall out.
00:13:02Yeah!
00:13:03You stay.
00:13:06Grandma needs a favor.
00:13:08And you've got just the face for it.
00:13:14Wow, sweetie, those really look delicious.
00:13:17But I just don't feel like eating right now.
00:13:19Just one, Mom.
00:13:21I made them special.
00:13:23Just for you.
00:13:24Mmm, this really is delicious.
00:13:44If there's an emergency, you can reach me on my cell phone.
00:13:46Or you can just walk across the street.
00:13:49After all, girls don't do anything I would do.
00:13:55Adam seems really laid back.
00:13:58Yeah, he's pretty cool.
00:14:00Of course.
00:14:01Everyone seems cool compared to Robo-Mom.
00:14:04Hey, you never told me.
00:14:05What happened when you asked her about your real dad?
00:14:07She freaked out.
00:14:09Just like I thought.
00:14:10She wouldn't tell me anything.
00:14:14Well, there are other ways to find things out.
00:14:17Did your mom keep any old papers?
00:14:19You know, letters, diaries?
00:14:21Not that she shows me.
00:14:23There's stuff in the storage room upstairs, but it's locked.
00:14:27So, forget about it.
00:14:32What kind of lock is it?
00:14:37Oh, come on in.
00:14:38I was hoping you were Susan.
00:14:41She's not here?
00:14:41No, she's not answering her cell phone.
00:14:43Is she?
00:14:44Well, she had an appointment with this new obstetrician
00:14:45over on River Street.
00:14:46She should be here by now.
00:14:48Why would you see a doctor over there?
00:14:49That's a terrible neighborhood.
00:14:50It is?
00:14:51Yes, don't you remember?
00:14:52That's where they murdered those two prostitutes last year.
00:14:53We should help Mike with the food.
00:14:56Knock, knock.
00:14:58We're here.
00:14:59Oh, good.
00:15:00Catherine.
00:15:01I was hoping we'd get a chance to chat.
00:15:02Open this now.
00:15:06Oh, Susan's parties were always such a snoozefest.
00:15:09The only thing people would be miming is get me the hell out of here.
00:15:12Aren't you a little overdressed for charades?
00:15:14Well, I thought that I'd look nice.
00:15:17Just in case we decided to, well, I don't know, announce our engagement.
00:15:22We're not announcing anything.
00:15:23It's Susan and Mike's party.
00:15:24I do not want to make it all about us.
00:15:25You're right, darling.
00:15:26I may drop a few hints, though.
00:15:27Edie, let me be clear on this.
00:15:28You were not to tell anyone about our engagement.
00:15:29Got it?
00:15:30Fine.
00:15:31I won't say a word.
00:15:32Oh, this is fantastic.
00:15:33You know Edward Ferber?
00:15:34Mm-hmm.
00:15:35State Senator?
00:15:36Yes.
00:15:37His wife just got picked up.
00:15:38Oh, this is fantastic.
00:15:39You know Edward Ferber?
00:15:40State Senator?
00:15:41Yes.
00:15:42His wife just got picked up for shoplifting.
00:15:43Why is that fantastic?
00:15:44He was making noises about going against me for governor?
00:15:46oh this is fantastic you know edward ferber state senator yes his wife just got picked up
00:16:07for shoplifting why is that fantastic he was making noises about going against me for governor
00:16:13i guess light-fingered mrs ferber just put an end to that why it's not like he shoplifted it doesn't
00:16:18matter it's a scandal you know what they do to poll numbers oh that's right i was reading about
00:16:23that in politics is boring magazine just glad i don't have to worry about you pulling crap like
00:16:27that yeah you're lucky so where's lynette she's usually your charades mvp uh she wasn't feeling
00:16:39so well but uh you are still going down mister it's just a game though a game you wish you never
00:16:45played oh hi gabby katherine and i were just talking about the old days so when you were living with
00:16:53your aunt was dylan's father with you no just me and dylan were you widowed or divorced
00:17:00actually i prefer not to discuss my first marriage if you don't mind oh well we certainly didn't mean
00:17:09to pry let me just tinge that up for you hello it's so nice to see you
00:17:17wait oh no oh my contact slipped is that an engagement ring oh uh shoot pretend you didn't
00:17:32see that i promised my fiance that i wouldn't say a word until the official announcement
00:17:37excuse me gabby sorry i'm late oh my god you made it that is such a beautiful dress we're gonna
00:17:48have so much fun you come with me she's got a ring what eddie she's wearing a big honkin
00:17:57engagement ring the size of a peach pit hey i didn't get her a ring oh so you're not engaged
00:18:01well see here's the thing oh you gotta be kidding me let me explain i am done with your explanations
00:18:07and i am done with just give me two more weeks baby whatever games you're playing i'm sick of it
00:18:12we're through so you're just gonna go and live happily ever after with victor huh
00:18:16you think victor is my only option well i got news for you carlos i can have any guy i want
00:18:23because this waits for no man
00:18:27you bought yourself an engagement ring it's been three days carlos how long was i supposed
00:18:40to wait you agreed not to say anything ah but i didn't agree not to wear anything
00:18:44don't worry it wasn't expensive you can pay me back later
00:18:49count on it and the whole time i just kept thinking this is brie's doctor brie recommended
00:18:57him he must be the best so i didn't worry when he was between a needle exchange in the area's
00:19:03only transvestite bookstore and i ignored that my shoes stuck to the floor and there was a cigarette
00:19:10machine in the waiting room but when i saw the ant traps on his speculum tray i thought that you
00:19:17and i should have a talk oh susan i am so sorry and of course i will pay for the slash tire and the
00:19:21stolen cell phone that is not the point why would you send me to somebody who is obviously not your
00:19:27doctor i can't tell you why not it's private you know what else is private the parts of me that i'm
00:19:36pretty sure he snapped with his camera phone i have a party to throw i will deal with you later
00:19:42oh my god look al she is totally out of control i need her taken care of fine i'll see what i can do
00:19:55adam i feel the tag of my dress sticking out and i can't reach it do you mind yeah sure
00:20:08there you go oh i think i gotta chill now let me see if i can give you one
00:20:16we haven't been here an hour and you're already humiliating me are we really having this
00:20:26conversation again oh i guess you learned nothing from chicago for god's sake i was not flirting
00:20:30she asked me to fix her dress yeah i saw your face i could tell what a chore it was for you
00:20:35you know what i think i'm a little behind you in the alcohol department let me go catch up
00:20:39i'm sorry i uh didn't mean to eavesdrop but you really shouldn't take this out on adam
00:20:49and gabrielle has a little bit of a reputation if you know what i mean
00:20:54no i don't but i'd certainly like to
00:20:57okay everybody let the games begin um okay i will be team captain one who wants to be captain
00:21:05number two i'll do it great okay you pick first oh okay i will pick adam
00:21:13i pick linette where's linette ah she really wanted to be here she's just feeling too sick to party
00:21:22it's funny isn't it
00:21:27it's genius he's a sponge but he talks
00:21:32well it looks like somebody is feeling a little better yeah i guess that anti-nausea medicine finally
00:21:41kicked in that must be it
00:21:43orson carlos um husband in the room honey i love you but i want to win
00:21:53you should pick edie why the woman just tried to commence suicide don't make her last pick
00:22:02she's still fragile good point mike yes let's get started no no wait wait wait gabby you know how it
00:22:09works okay first i have to go over all the signals okay so uh this is a movie um tv
00:22:15where did you learn to do this when you live with a mother who constantly locks herself out
00:22:21you develop certain skills
00:22:22i don't know maybe this is a sign we should stop
00:22:29what were you saying about signs
00:22:33a whole concept person um let's see shakespeare book and then if you do the signal for book and
00:22:44you touch your heart then that's poem okay when has anyone ever used a poem as a clue
00:22:49yeah come on let's play let's play let's play yeah let's play hey honey you made it
00:22:56aha dibs on lynette she's on my team oh that's not fair she's like the charades ninja that's me
00:23:02the ninja why i'm sorry okay okay i'm ready
00:23:11oh come on babe we're 40 seconds down we need you to make that time up who do you think you're talking to right on
00:23:24Sister!
00:23:25Sister!
00:23:26Two meals for Sister Sarah!
00:23:28Okay, 22 seconds.
00:23:31Come on, babe.
00:23:32We're 40 seconds down.
00:23:33We need you to make that time up.
00:23:35Who do you think you're talking to?
00:23:37Right on.
00:23:38All right.
00:23:41Ready?
00:23:42Get set.
00:23:43Go.
00:23:44Honey, the clock's ticking.
00:23:54I know.
00:23:55This is a really hard one.
00:23:57Okay, come on.
00:23:59What is it?
00:24:00Is it a book?
00:24:01Is it a movie?
00:24:02Movie.
00:24:03It's a western.
00:24:04No talking.
00:24:05Sorry.
00:24:06Honey, start with the first word.
00:24:07How many syllables?
00:24:14One word.
00:24:16Sweetie, act it out.
00:24:17You're really good at that.
00:24:20Okay, okay.
00:24:21Whole idea.
00:24:23Me.
00:24:24Edie.
00:24:25Woman.
00:24:26Bond.
00:24:27Bleach.
00:24:28Hang them high.
00:24:41Yes!
00:24:42Yes!
00:24:43Okay.
00:24:44Well, I think it's time for break.
00:24:46Good.
00:24:47Yes.
00:24:48You feeling okay?
00:24:49Because you're acting kind of spacey.
00:24:50Yeah, no, I'm good.
00:24:51Hey, you can't have any grapes or lobsters.
00:24:52Why don't I go get you some coffee, huh?
00:24:53Um, Orson.
00:24:54Hey.
00:24:55Um, there's a phone call for you at the house.
00:24:56You should probably take it.
00:24:57Oh.
00:24:58Okay.
00:24:59Hello.
00:25:00Oh, Tom.
00:25:01Estelle, what are you doing here?
00:25:02Estelle, what are you doing here?
00:25:03Estelle, what are you doing here?
00:25:04Uh, I made some brownies earlier.
00:25:18And I just noticed they were missing.
00:25:19Uh, Lynette didn't bring them here, did she?
00:25:28Why?
00:25:29Is that a problem?
00:25:30It's like chocolate love.
00:25:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:25:45Sorry.
00:25:46Don't eat those.
00:25:47Don't eat those.
00:25:48Sorry.
00:25:49Nope.
00:25:50Bad batch.
00:25:51Bad.
00:25:52Bad, bad, bad.
00:25:53Whoa.
00:25:54Sorry.
00:25:55Um, full of trans fats.
00:25:56Oh, God.
00:25:57Oh, Tom, watch it.
00:25:58I'm sorry.
00:25:59Oh, not here.
00:26:00Oh, thank you.
00:26:01Let me get that.
00:26:03Okay.
00:26:04It's all right.
00:26:05It's all cold.
00:26:06It's all right.
00:26:07Would it be too much to ask you to keep your hands off my husband?
00:26:10What?
00:26:11I've put my drink on him.
00:26:12And you're trying to make up for it by breastfeeding him?
00:26:15Ah, Catherine?
00:26:16Look, lady, you need to calm down.
00:26:18You're getting a reputation around here for having a stick up your ass.
00:26:21Who did that reputation on the one you're toting around?
00:26:24What do you mean by that?
00:26:25Okay, back to charades.
00:26:27Never mind, forget it.
00:26:28Oh, no, no.
00:26:29Tell me.
00:26:30What's my reputation?
00:26:31Am I smug and holier than thou?
00:26:33Oh, no, wait.
00:26:34That's you.
00:26:35Let me be specific.
00:26:37By reputation, I mean that you are the kind of woman that treats a man like a plaything,
00:26:41whether it's my husband or, let's say, your teenage gardener.
00:26:53Bree saw you slap your daughter.
00:26:55Excuse me?
00:26:57Gabby.
00:26:58Yeah.
00:26:59She asked about her father and then you smacked her.
00:27:01Why'd you do that?
00:27:02This is the last thing that I will ever say to you.
00:27:07Yes, I lost my temper with Dylan, but her father is a horrible man.
00:27:11I want you to imagine the worst thing that a father can do to his daughter.
00:27:14What was I supposed to tell Dylan about that, hmm?
00:27:16I hope that satisfies everyone's curiosity.
00:27:18Oh, my God.
00:27:19Hang on, Maya has three syllables.
00:27:21I guess you saw what happened down there.
00:27:25Yep.
00:27:26Look, it was a long time ago and it didn't mean anything.
00:27:38How many people know about this?
00:27:39Now or before tonight?
00:27:42How many?
00:27:43Look, I know you're upset.
00:27:44I'm not upset.
00:27:45I'm just trying to work out how to spin this.
00:27:48Clearly the boy was underage.
00:27:49Do you think money would shut him up?
00:27:50Victor, really, I don't think it's a big deal.
00:27:51That's because you're not me.
00:27:52Okay.
00:28:07Victor, really, I don't think it's a big deal.
00:28:10That's because you're not me.
00:28:17Okay, you've got to remember this.
00:28:26This is Bodsworth.
00:28:27You took him everywhere.
00:28:28No, I think I'd remember a bear that ugly.
00:28:30Well, clearly it's yours.
00:28:32Your mom kept it all these years, and he's here in your old room.
00:28:36Wait, this was my old room?
00:28:38My mom told me I'm in my old room down the hall.
00:28:41No, this was your room.
00:28:42What are you talking about?
00:28:44Evening girls.
00:28:47Hey, how was the party?
00:28:50It was lovely.
00:28:52I think your mother would like your home to help clean up.
00:29:06I'm sorry, Mom.
00:29:09It's okay, sweetie.
00:29:10But I don't want you seeing that girl anymore.
00:29:18Orson, honey, where have you been?
00:29:32We got a call from Danielle's doctor.
00:29:35Apparently her fall caused a placental abruption, where the placenta separates from the uterus.
00:29:39Oh, my God.
00:29:40And I said not to panic.
00:29:41There are degrees of this.
00:29:43They're doing a sonogram.
00:29:44Then they're going to call us.
00:29:45I can't wait that long.
00:29:47I have to be with her.
00:29:49Okay.
00:29:49I'll get your purse.
00:29:54What do you think you're doing?
00:29:56You can't leave yet.
00:29:57Something's come up.
00:29:58We'll talk tomorrow.
00:29:58No, we'll talk now.
00:29:59You still owe me an explanation for that scuzzy gyno you sent me to.
00:30:02I said I was sorry.
00:30:03For God's sake, Susan, not everything is about you.
00:30:09I know this night has been a complete disaster, but all in all, it's still your best party ever.
00:30:15I'm confused.
00:30:33Ow!
00:30:33Now I'm confused and my head hurts.
00:30:35That's for letting Edie think you're engaged.
00:30:37And the kiss?
00:30:39When you saw me flirting, you smashed a glass.
00:30:42When Victor heard I had an affair, he started crunching poll numbers.
00:30:48I need a man who cares enough to explode when he thinks he's going to lose me.
00:30:53I don't just love you.
00:30:55I love the way you love me.
00:30:59So we're back on?
00:31:01See you Thursday.
00:31:12Al, what have you got for me?
00:31:21I think I found a way to make this happen.
00:31:23But it might take a week or two to line everything up.
00:31:26Fantastic.
00:31:27I'll call you when it's done.
00:31:30Shirley?
00:31:33Can you make some copies of the Brit file?
00:31:34Have you seen Gabby?
00:31:46Uh, yeah.
00:31:47In the bathroom upstairs.
00:31:48Tell me something.
00:31:51When you found out that kid who you were paying to mow your lawn was doing your wife,
00:31:56how did you not kill him?
00:31:57Well, I wanted to at first.
00:32:01But, hey, we're all human, right?
00:32:04You've got to forgive and forget.
00:32:06You're a very understanding man.
00:32:07If she pulled something like that on me, that guy wouldn't be around for long.
00:32:13Yeah, but no woman's worth going to jail for, right?
00:32:16If you have enough money, it's not that hard to make someone disappear.
00:32:25Let's go, honey.
00:32:25Good night, Carlos.
00:32:41Darling, what are you doing?
00:32:42I have to bring this DVD player to Danielle.
00:32:45Honey, we really have to go.
00:32:47It'll just take a few seconds.
00:32:48These damn cords.
00:32:50Sweetheart, it's a long drive.
00:32:51It's the only thing she asked for.
00:32:55Hello?
00:33:01Hello, doctor.
00:33:02How is she?
00:33:07Thank God.
00:33:09Oh, my God.
00:33:11She'll be okay.
00:33:25Kids are all tucked in.
00:33:27They're sleeping like angels.
00:33:29Great, but quailies in their cocoa?
00:33:31Could you check on them for me, please?
00:33:37So how was the party?
00:33:38You drugged me.
00:33:40Oh, just a little.
00:33:42What is wrong with you?
00:33:43I told you I didn't want any pot.
00:33:45Before you slap me around, let me ask you something.
00:33:48Do you feel better?
00:33:51That's not the point.
00:33:52And what were you thinking using my son as a drug mule?
00:33:55He didn't know what was going on,
00:33:57and why are you making such a big deal about it?
00:34:01Let me ask you something.
00:34:03Do you remember what I wore through the junior prom
00:34:06or what part I had in the play that year?
00:34:09Who remembers that stuff?
00:34:11Parents who weren't stoned.
00:34:14My whole childhood passed in a blur because you were medicating yourself.
00:34:19Pot when you were sick, booze when you weren't.
00:34:22I am not going to do that.
00:34:24I won't miss a second of my kids' lives.
00:34:26Not if I can avoid it.
00:34:27Well, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.
00:34:33You're a mom.
00:34:36You know there's nothing worse than watching your kids suffer.
00:34:40And seeing you act all goofy, watching that cartoon,
00:34:45well, it was probably the high point of my trip.
00:34:52I get it.
00:34:56But if you ever pull something like this again?
00:34:59I won't.
00:35:01Okay.
00:35:02Well, I think I'll turn in.
00:35:08Yenta.
00:35:09What?
00:35:10Junior year, you were Yenta in Fiddler on the Roof.
00:35:15You remembered.
00:35:17Yep.
00:35:18There are some performances so bad, even alcohol can't block them out.
00:35:32Brie?
00:35:36Can we call a truce, please?
00:35:42So you know I'm not bluffing.
00:35:44I brought cake.
00:35:49I'm so sorry that I snapped at you tonight.
00:35:52It's okay.
00:35:55I just want to know what's going on.
00:35:58Ever since you've been pregnant, there's been this wall between us.
00:36:01It's like something's changed, and I don't know why.
00:36:05Did I do something to offend you?
00:36:10It's not about you.
00:36:11I've just been going through some things.
00:36:15Like what?
00:36:16I mean, come on.
00:36:17Just tell me.
00:36:18We share everything.
00:36:21Okay.
00:36:24I haven't told anybody this, but...
00:36:30It's about the baby.
00:36:32There have been some complications.
00:36:37Oh, no.
00:36:39Is everything okay?
00:36:41Yeah, everything's fine, but there was just a time where I thought I might lose it.
00:36:45Oh, my God.
00:36:47And there I was, just bugging you about your doctor.
00:36:50I'm so sorry.
00:36:51You should have just told me.
00:36:53No, you're pregnant too.
00:36:54I'm not going to tell you anything that's going to worry you.
00:36:56Oh, are you kidding?
00:36:57It's the first baby I've had in 17 years.
00:36:59You know, I could not possibly be more freaked out.
00:37:02This morning, I caught Mike building a crib.
00:37:06No. This early?
00:37:07Yeah.
00:37:08I wanted to scream.
00:37:09You know, are you nuts?
00:37:10Do you just want to jinx it?
00:37:13This is what we get for having kids at our age.
00:37:16Anxiety. Terror.
00:37:18It's just going to get worse.
00:37:19Do you know when our babies go to college, we'll be like...
00:37:24Dead?
00:37:26If we're lucky.
00:37:32Look at us.
00:37:34Pregnant gals eating cake and bitching.
00:37:37It's kind of nice, huh?
00:37:39It really is.
00:37:49What are you doing?
00:37:51The hospital called.
00:37:52My aunt's ready to come home.
00:37:54And you wanted her to stay in here?
00:37:56Yeah.
00:37:57I think making this room off limits was a mistake.
00:38:00If I want Dylan to focus on other things,
00:38:03I really need to make it less intriguing.
00:38:06Speaking of intriguing,
00:38:09what were you thinking last night?
00:38:12What?
00:38:14Come on, the worst thing a father could do?
00:38:16You realize what people are going to think.
00:38:18Yeah.
00:38:20They're going to be very uncomfortable.
00:38:22And uncomfortable people don't ask questions.
00:38:36All children love games.
00:38:40But children grow up,
00:38:42and then they find new games to play.
00:38:44They pretend to be well so their families won't worry.
00:38:51They lie to their lovers about where they go in the afternoon.
00:38:58They invent stories to hide the truth from their friends.
00:39:02Yes.
00:39:03Everyone has fun playing games.
00:39:09Right up until the moment someone gets hurt.
00:39:18They are really afraid of the family.
00:39:20But they say that one is a girl they do.
00:39:21He knows what to do.
00:39:22They tell him that they don't want to do.
00:39:23They say that they don't want to do.
00:39:24They say that there's a child to do and they want to be alive.
00:39:25Ha.
00:39:27Ha.
00:39:29Ha.
00:39:35When her first husband died, Brie thought she was rid of her mother-in-law.
00:39:41Danielle got pregnant.
00:39:43And Brie got creative.
00:39:45Soon this whole charade will completely unravel and we will be humiliated.
00:39:48Carlos and Gaby's affair turned dangerous.
00:39:51She pulled something like that on me? That guy wouldn't be around for long.
00:39:53And an old neighbor returned.
00:39:55I didn't want poor Aunt Lily to spend her final days in a nursing home.
00:39:58That is so kind of you.
00:40:06Mrs. Lillian Sims returned to Wisteria Lane on a Saturday.
00:40:11As she emerged from the ambulance, it occurred to her the neighborhood looked exactly as she had left it.
00:40:18She then decided she should have painted her house blue.
00:40:23Moments later, she wondered if she would see her husband in heaven.
00:40:30These are just some of the thoughts that go through an old woman's mind when she comes home to die.
00:40:37Now, if you need anything, you just ring this little bell and I'll come running.
00:40:47I'm sorry to be so much trouble.
00:40:50Well, the good news is I won't be a burden much longer.
00:40:54Oh, don't say that.
00:40:56Doctors say there's a good chance that you'll be with us for a very long time.
00:41:01I know what's happening to me, Catherine.
00:41:04You don't need to lie.
00:41:06Aunt Lily, what does it feel like?
00:41:13Dying, I mean.
00:41:15It's not that bad.
00:41:19I feel lucky.
00:41:21When you know time is running out, you get a chance to reflect on your life.
00:41:27I really did try to live a good one.
00:41:32You did more than try.
00:41:34God is going to welcome you with open arms.
00:41:37I'm not so sure.
00:41:38Oh, why would you say that?
00:41:40I keep thinking about Dylan.
00:41:45What we did.
00:41:46What we covered up.
00:41:50We did what we had to.
00:41:52We should have told someone.
00:41:54We couldn't.
00:41:55You know that.
00:41:56It was a mistake.
00:41:58And it's not too late to rectify it.
00:42:01Your life may be over, but that does not give you the right to go around destroying the lives of others.
00:42:07I can't go to my grave with this on my conscience.
00:42:10Please.
00:42:11We have to tell that girl what happened in this room.
00:42:15Absolutely not.
00:42:24As her guilt over the past began to mount, it occurred to Lillian death couldn't come quickly enough.
00:42:32This thought occurred to her niece as well.
00:42:37There were a lot of things Bob Hunter disliked about living in the city.
00:42:52And the thing he hated most were the pests.
00:42:56The rats that lurked in the alleys.
00:42:59The flies that swarmed the garbage.
00:43:02The bugs that invaded his co-op.
00:43:06I've tried it.
00:43:07Finally, Bob informed his significant other it was time to leave the city.
00:43:16So, they moved to suburbia, which they quickly discovered had a few pests.
00:43:24Hey, neighbor.
00:43:25Of its own.
00:43:26Oh, we haven't got a chance to eat.
00:43:27I'm Susan.
00:43:28I live next door.
00:43:29Oh.
00:43:30Hi.
00:43:31Hi.
00:43:32I'm Lee.
00:43:33I just wanted to say hi.
00:43:34You know, I saw the movers taking in some of your furniture and I just have to say you and your wife have gorgeous taste.
00:43:39What?
00:43:40You smell?
00:43:41Like you wouldn't believe.
00:43:42I'm Susan.
00:43:43I live next door.
00:43:44Oh, hi.
00:43:45I'm Lee's partner, Bob.
00:43:46Oh, you're partners.
00:43:48What kind of business?
00:43:49You know, whatever it is, just don't let the neighborhood association hear that you work out of your house.
00:43:53They're so not cool.
00:43:54Actually, we're life partners.
00:43:56Oh.
00:43:57Oh.
00:43:58Oh.
00:43:59Oh, that's super.
00:44:02I've seen a lot of cable, so I get it.
00:44:05You're just great.
00:44:09I hope we can live up to your stereotype.
00:44:12Don't mind him.
00:44:14He's just a little cranky from all the fresh air.
00:44:17I apologize for me.
00:44:18Lee, you're the one who said moving here would be better for Raphael.
00:44:21Oh, so there's three of you.
00:44:25Well, that must be cozy.
00:44:30Yes, we're gay Mormons.
00:44:33Susan, that's Raphael.
00:44:38Oh, Raphael's your dog.
00:44:42Of course.
00:44:43You know, because you folks can't have kids.
00:44:46I mean, of course you can have kids.
00:44:49You know, because times have changed and now you're allowed.
00:44:53What a nice dog.
00:45:01I should go.
00:45:03Nice to meet you.
00:45:05Hey, stop by anytime, Susan.
00:45:07Ow, what are you doing?
00:45:08What are you doing?
00:45:17Yes?
00:45:18Can I have a delivery for Danielle Vandicamp?
00:45:22I'll get you to sign here.
00:45:24Please.
00:45:27Oh, is that for us?
00:45:29No, it's for Danielle.
00:45:31That's odd. Who would send her a scooter?
00:45:33I know it.
00:45:34Phyllis, Rex's mother.
00:45:35Ever since he died, she's been trying to buy the children's affection.
00:45:38Wow.
00:45:39Well, it's a hurry of a bike.
00:45:41I'm sure Danielle will appreciate the luck.
00:45:43Well, I'm not giving it to her.
00:45:45Can you think of a worst present for a pregnant girl?
00:45:48Well, I'm not knocked up. Let me have it.
00:45:50You know how I feel about two-wheeled motorized vehicles.
00:45:52They're too dangerous.
00:45:54We'll donate it to the church.
00:45:57What?
00:45:58Reverend Sykes said they're looking for items for the raffle.
00:46:00So we're just going to give it away?
00:46:02Well, it's better than you breaking your neck on it.
00:46:04Mom, you know how much I want a scooter. Come on.
00:46:07You heard your mother. We're donating it to the church.
00:46:10Of course, we need to make sure it's in good working order before we do that.
00:46:13Not without a helmet.
00:46:22This pose. Are we going to let her do this to us?
00:46:24Absolutely not.
00:46:25If we win that raffle, we're keeping it.
00:46:30Hey.
00:46:35It is nice to hear you humming again.
00:46:37Well, it's amazing what a week without chemo can do.
00:46:40Yeah.
00:46:41When does the last round start?
00:46:42Next month, so I have some time before I start feeling like total crap again.
00:46:47And I was hoping we could put that time to good use.
00:46:51You sure?
00:46:52The doctor said it could be months before you get your mojo back.
00:46:55Well, it's back.
00:46:58And since when do you question the mojo?
00:47:01You're right. You're right. Forgive me.
00:47:03Okay. So here are your options.
00:47:06A, we could go romantic, play soft music, light some candles, or B, go straight to the...
00:47:13Whoa!
00:47:18It's been so long. I hope I remember how to do this.
00:47:20Well, it's just like riding a bike. You never forget.
00:47:22Now start pedaling.
00:47:27Hey.
00:47:28What are you doing?
00:47:38Oh, sorry. I just messed up your hair. I'm just trying to fix it.
00:47:40Ow!
00:47:41Sorry. Almost got it.
00:47:42Hey!
00:47:47Oh!
00:47:48Screw it!
00:47:49What are you doing?
00:47:50Oh, I ripped it this morning. It's been itching the hell out of me.
00:47:53And this is much better.
00:47:55Are you sure you want to take that off? I mean, won't you be cold?
00:47:59No, I'm good.
00:48:12Hey babe, what's going on? You're still with me?
00:48:15Yeah. It's just, it's kind of...
00:48:19What?
00:48:21Late.
00:48:26It's 9.30.
00:48:27It's just that one of our ovens broke down today, and the repairman's coming first thing in the morning, and maybe I could ravish you...
00:48:34...tomorrow.
00:48:38Oh, okay.
00:48:39Come on, Bree. You have to let us do this.
00:48:47Uh, it's a lovely thought, but I really don't want baby shower.
00:48:51Well, I bought you an expensive gift, and I'm not giving it to you unless there's a party with people who can see how generous I am.
00:48:56Bree! Watch this!
00:48:58Marston, I said be careful!
00:49:06I just think it's tacky to have a baby shower when it's not your first baby.
00:49:09Well, I don't see the problem with it. Hint, hint.
00:49:12Yeah, and showers aren't just about presents. They're fun.
00:49:14Yeah, we could play games, like how big is mommy's tummy.
00:49:18Excuse me?
00:49:19Yeah, we get a ball of yarn, and we each cut a piece that we think is just big enough to fit around your stomach.
00:49:24And the one closest wins a prize.
00:49:26I really don't want a shower.
00:49:29Look! Look at me!
00:49:32Arson, just five more minutes. That's all you're getting.
00:49:36I tell you what, why don't we just skip the shower, and after the baby's born, I'll have a christening party.
00:49:41What do you say?
00:49:46I'm okay. I'm fine.
00:49:49Oh, dear God.
00:49:51Excuse me, ladies. I couldn't help overhearing you talking about my mom's shower.
00:50:00I think I could be of a little assistance here.
00:50:12Why do you have to take our new neighbors' cookie bars?
00:50:14Oh, look, I made a terrible first impression.
00:50:16So I thought I'd make them some of my home-baked goodness.
00:50:19But you didn't bake any goodness. You just warmed up the goodness I bought at the store.
00:50:23Well, yeah, I don't bake ketchup.
00:50:26You know, not all neighbors have to be friends. Why don't you just let it go?
00:50:30Mike, they live 15 feet from us.
00:50:32If we have a fire, I want to be sure that they like us enough to call 911.
00:50:36Ah, that's the real reason. You can't stand it when somebody doesn't like you.
00:50:40Well, maybe.
00:50:41Well, maybe Bob and Lee just like to keep to themselves.
00:50:44That's fine. And once they like me, they can keep to themselves all they damn well please.
00:50:49Hi. I wanted to bring you a welcome to the neighborhood present.
00:50:59You should try one while they're still warm from the oven.
00:51:01That was really nice. Thank you.
00:51:03Or are there nuts in them?
00:51:05Nuts?
00:51:06Yeah.
00:51:07Gee, let me think.
00:51:09Nope. No nuts.
00:51:10Are you sure? Because I'm highly allergic. Half a pecan could kill me.
00:51:13I'm not seeing any nuts.
00:51:14Okay. You made them. So did you or did you not put nuts in them?
00:51:29Okay, here's the thing. I'm a really crappy baker. To give you something that I made myself would be like an insult, so...
00:51:34So you bought them. And then you heated them up in an attempt to make your gesture seem more thoughtful than in fact it was.
00:51:41Hey, I would have made them myself if I knew how. Honestly, I'm a good neighbor.
00:51:45Well, neighbor, why don't you take your store-bought warmed up possibly poisonous cookie bars and give them to someone more likely to survive your generosity.
00:51:52Do you like wine?
00:51:55No. No. So please don't bring me a bottle from your vineyard.
00:52:04This rip is pretty big. It'll take about a week.
00:52:07A week?
00:52:09All right. Can you hurry if you can?
00:52:14Honey, it's okay. You look cute in a scarf.
00:52:16I'm upset because that sales girl just walked away with my sex life.
00:52:20What?
00:52:21After two months of puking my guts out last night, I was finally in the mood.
00:52:24But Tom, not so much. Apparently my bald head is a big turn off for him.
00:52:28Why'd you take your wig off?
00:52:29It was itchy.
00:52:31Okay. Not smart.
00:52:33Gabby? I'm his wife. He's supposed to love me. Not my body. Me. My soul. Why can't he make love to my soul?
00:52:40Interesting. Question. When was the last time you were in a bar and heard a guy turn to his friend and say,
00:52:47Hey, check out the soul on that girl? What are you saying?
00:52:50I'm saying men are visual. Hell, I have a whole closet full of costumes.
00:52:55You need to give Tom something to look at. Something spicy-like.
00:53:01Gabby, I'm not a redhead.
00:53:02But you could be. Which brings me to my second point. Men like variety.
00:53:07Tonight, you're a redhead. Tomorrow, you are Helga, the sexy milkmaid.
00:53:14Or Amber, the lonely runaway. Or Jeff, the friendly guy from work.
00:53:24What? I don't know what Tom is into.
00:53:28Hmm.
00:53:29Claude, you know I don't like it when you, hmm.
00:53:32Edie, how long have you had this?
00:53:37Had what? I don't have anything. Just here for my 5,000 mile checkup.
00:53:42Well, you know that bullet you've managed to dodge all these years.
00:53:48Which one? The clap? The hurt? The sif?
00:53:53Crabs?
00:53:54Relax. I'll boil all the sheets and towels.
00:53:58And then we'll use this special shampoo.
00:54:00And in three days, the crotch carnival packs up and leaves town.
00:54:04Oh, man. How did this happen?
00:54:06Don't give me that look. I know exactly how I got him.
00:54:10I used the tanning bed right after Mimsy Porter, that skank.
00:54:14Ew, it smells like burnt licorice.
00:54:17Well, come in the bathroom and I'll show you how to use this.
00:54:20I think I can figure that out.
00:54:23You know, the good news is we're in a committed relationship.
00:54:25Otherwise, we'd have to make that call of shame to everyone we've been with.
00:54:32You've heard me make it before, but it's something I feel very, very strongly about.
00:54:36For me, it's a very simple formula.
00:54:38More development leads to an increased tax base, which helps build schools for our children.
00:54:43Around the country, the needs of children are being put further and further down...
00:54:46What are you doing here? I need to talk to you. Can't you just call me?
00:54:51This is not something that you want to hear on the phone.
00:55:00Ew, how did you get those?
00:55:02How do you think, Edie?
00:55:06We're still sleeping with Edie.
00:55:09You're still sleeping with Victor, aren't you?
00:55:10If I didn't, he would think something is going on. What is your excuse for doing it with Edie?
00:55:14If she wants to, and I'm a guy.
00:55:16That's serious, okay?
00:55:19When Victor wakes up with a zoo in his pants, there's going to be help to pay.
00:55:23You don't have to tell me. If he finds out about us, I'm the one that's going to wind up in a landfill.
00:55:27Okay, just don't panic, okay? We're going to get the salve or the ointment or whatever it is you put down there, and we're going to be fine.
00:55:32And we're going to be fine.
00:55:40Well, you're screwed.
00:55:41Yeah.
00:55:43Tom, the kids are asleep. Are you coming to bed any time soon?
00:55:49Yeah, I just got to pick a new running back for my fantasy football team.
00:55:56That's too bad. I had a little fantasy thing planned of my own.
00:56:01Lynette.
00:56:06Lynette's not here right now. I'm Brandy, the slutty cheerleader.
00:56:22This is all very romantic, Gabby, but I still have four building proposals to read before tomorrow.
00:56:27That's Nurse Gabby to you.
00:56:32Nurse Gabby?
00:56:36Am I sick?
00:56:38Well, the doctor says you need to relax, and I know just how to relax you.
00:56:53Smells like licorice.
00:56:54It's a blend of 36 essential oils, anise root, and fennel.
00:56:59Don't you like it?
00:57:01Smells a little medicine-y.
00:57:03That's the fennel.
00:57:16It's stinging a little.
00:57:19That's the tension leaving your body.
00:57:22It's really stinging.
00:57:26And we can rinse it off.
00:57:28In three to five minutes.
00:57:30But before we do that...
00:57:33What the hell is that?
00:57:35You know, for a guy getting rubbed down by a hot nurse, you ask a lot of questions.
00:57:39Sorry.
00:57:40Oh, come on, Uncle Frank. What's the point of having a gay uncle if you're not going to help me make friends with these guys?
00:57:52Oh.
00:57:54Mom said that the whole family knew.
00:57:56Um, okay, gotta go. Love you.
00:57:59What's going on?
00:58:00Oh, I found Raphael wandering in the street.
00:58:01I went to take him back, but Bob and Leigh aren't home, so I'm just going to give him a little treat and put him back in their yard.
00:58:09Oh, Bob?
00:58:10Wait a second.
00:58:11What? Leave him with me.
00:58:12I need to score some points with those guys, and being a dog rescuing hero could be just the ticket.
00:58:15So what? You're just going to keep him here until they come back?
00:58:18Uh-huh. Maybe a little longer.
00:58:21How long?
00:58:22Well, long enough for them to worry.
00:58:24You know, the more they worry, the more I'm a hero. Get it?
00:58:27I get that you're insane.
00:58:28I'm not. I'm not. Now get me some mud.
00:58:30I want to dirty him up so he looks like he's been through hell.
00:58:35Here we go.
00:58:40Here, let me help you.
00:58:41Oh, that's all right. I've got them, Mr. Knievel.
00:58:44Oh, boy. You're never going to let me live this down, are you?
00:58:47Nope.
00:58:49It seems to me that she's going to the doctor again.
00:58:51Surprise!
00:58:56Guys, what did I tell you?
00:58:58You said no shower, but look around. Men. So, technically, it's a party, not a shower.
00:59:04Andrew told us that you only said no because you didn't want to impose.
00:59:09Oh, so you're responsible.
00:59:11Yeah, well, I know you said not to make a big fuss, but hey, you learned it.
00:59:17Well, don't just stand there. Come in. We have lots of food and fun and surprises.
00:59:23I have all kinds of surprises.
00:59:26Where is she?
00:59:29Bree!
00:59:31Phyllis!
00:59:32I, uh, helped with the invitations, too.
00:59:35I can't tell you how touched I was to be included.
00:59:39Especially after my many conciliatory gestures were so coldly rebuffed.
00:59:43I have been awful. I wouldn't blame you if you stormed out right now.
00:59:49Nonsense.
00:59:51I'm here to celebrate our renewed friendship.
00:59:54And your baby.
00:59:56Or should I say babies?
00:59:58You know, it's often a sign of twins when a mother's face gets all plump like yours.
01:00:02Oh!
01:00:05I, uh, bet you wouldn't mind if I broke my neck on that scooter now.
01:00:15I'm off to the bank. Aunt Lily just took a pill, so she's down for the afternoon.
01:00:20Okay. Have fun.
01:00:21Is your mother gone?
01:00:36Yeah. Do you need her?
01:00:38No. Don't.
01:00:41This is what I wanted.
01:00:43I thought you took a sleeping pill.
01:00:46I pretended to, so she gave us a long day.
01:00:48Oh, Lily, what's going on?
01:00:52I have to tell you something.
01:00:55First, you should know what happened.
01:01:00It was nobody's fault.
01:01:03What do you mean, what happened?
01:01:05You don't remember living on this street before, do you?
01:01:09Well, there's a reason for that.
01:01:14Dylan?
01:01:15Dylan?
01:01:21Mom, I thought you left.
01:01:23I forgot my checkbook.
01:01:25Could you go down and find it for me?
01:01:27Sure.
01:01:28You really should get your rest.
01:01:42Hey.
01:01:43Hi.
01:01:44Got your wig back, huh?
01:01:45Yeah.
01:01:46It was new.
01:01:47Listen, I thought we could put the kids to bed early tonight, if you know what I mean.
01:02:00I do, and I'm up for that.
01:02:03Fantastic.
01:02:04I hope Brandy won't get stuck late at cheerleading practice.
01:02:09Oh, about Brandy, bad news.
01:02:13What? What happened?
01:02:14Well, Penny wanted to play beauty school with the wig, and, well, let's just say she's got no future as a stylist.
01:02:21Bad haircut, huh?
01:02:22Yeah.
01:02:23Sounds like Brandy might get awful mad about that.
01:02:27Brandy's history, Tom.
01:02:28Let her go.
01:02:37Raphael!
01:02:38Come home, boy!
01:02:40Raphael!
01:02:41Lee?
01:02:43Is something wrong?
01:02:45Raphael got out.
01:02:46I don't know what happened.
01:02:47I think you jumped the fence.
01:02:49Well, would you like me to help you look for him?
01:02:52Seriously?
01:02:53What about your party?
01:02:55Oh, it's just a baby shower that I'm throwing for my best friend.
01:03:00I can't ask you to leave that.
01:03:01Oh, please.
01:03:02What are neighbors for?
01:03:04Raphael!
01:03:06Here, puppy!
01:03:07I see you've taken down all the pictures of Rex.
01:03:13Well, I'm sorry if that offends you, Phyllis, but I didn't want Orson to feel uncomfortable in his new home.
01:03:19I see.
01:03:21You're trying to be considerate of your husband's feelings.
01:03:24Well, I'm glad that you're at least trying to get it right second time around.
01:03:29Still, it must be awfully hard on Danielle and Andrew to have their father's face banished from their own home.
01:03:36He wasn't banished.
01:03:39By the way, where's Danielle?
01:03:44She's in a boarding school.
01:03:48In Switzerland.
01:03:50Switzerland?
01:03:51Is it asking too much to be told what continent my granddaughter is on?
01:03:55You are keeping my grandchildren from me and I don't know why.
01:03:58I'm going to mingle.
01:03:59Every time I start a chat, you walk away.
01:04:02I mean, if you don't want to talk to me, why did you invite me?
01:04:06It's a surprise party, you daft woman!
01:04:09What makes you think I had a hand in the guest list?
01:04:12So, you don't want me here?
01:04:15Oh, for God's sakes, Phyllis, it's not as if we got along when Rex was alive.
01:04:18What did I ever do to you?
01:04:20I tried to treat you like a daughter.
01:04:23I even gave you my mother's sable coat.
01:04:26You hated your mother.
01:04:27But I love that coat.
01:04:29Then I'll give it back to you.
01:04:30No, you keep it as a reminder of how hard I tried to make you like me.
01:04:35Mom, are you leaving already?
01:04:42I'm sorry, dear, but your mother has made it impossible for me to stay.
01:04:51Where does she keep my sable coat?
01:04:54Probably in her bedroom closet.
01:05:03Where is she going?
01:05:04She asked me where your fur coat was.
01:05:07And you told her?
01:05:12Oh, crap.
01:05:23I guess you won't be needing the breast pump I bought you.
01:05:26So, Danielle is having a baby.
01:05:37Yes, and for the sake of her reputation, we've agreed to pretend that it's mine.
01:05:41I just hope that those Swiss doctors know what they're doing.
01:05:46She's not in Switzerland.
01:05:48She's at the Sisters of Hope convent.
01:05:51Look, Phyllis, I'm sorry. I know this is upsetting.
01:05:53Actually, I'm thrilled.
01:05:55What?
01:05:56I'm going to be a great-grandma.
01:06:00Well, um, technically, yes.
01:06:04What do you mean, technically?
01:06:07We're saying that the baby is mine and Orson's, and if you hover around like a grandmother, people will be suspicious.
01:06:15You're not keeping this baby from me.
01:06:19Not if you don't want me to tell those people down the stairs whose child it really is.
01:06:24You wouldn't.
01:06:25Think of Danielle.
01:06:27I wish you had.
01:06:29If you'd raised her properly, she wouldn't be pregnant without a husband.
01:06:33You think I don't know I'm a failure as a parent?
01:06:36That's why this child means so much to me. It's my second chance.
01:06:40Well, I hope the second time around that you take my advice.
01:06:44I always said that you were too strict with those kids.
01:06:48Parenting tips from you. That's rich.
01:06:52I was a wonderful mother to Rex.
01:06:53Then why did he always avoid you? Why were you barely ever here?
01:06:57Because of you. He knew you hated me.
01:07:01Oh, he was happy to let you think that.
01:07:03But he was the one who dreaded your visits.
01:07:10Phyllis, wait!
01:07:13Excuse me, everyone, but I have something to say.
01:07:20What is it, Grandma?
01:07:21Grandma?
01:07:22I...
01:07:35I have to go.
01:07:36And I just wanted to say how nice it was to see you all again after so much time.
01:07:46Goodbye.
01:07:47Thank you for the gift.
01:07:48You know, Bree, you're not the only one who would like a second chance.
01:08:02Nothing, huh?
01:08:03No, no. He's lost. And he doesn't know this neighborhood. There's no way he's gonna find his way home.
01:08:15Oh, he will. Come on, you gotta keep believing.
01:08:18Oh, crap! Bob's home. What am I gonna tell him?
01:08:20Don't! We'll just keep looking. I have a feeling we're gonna find that cute little guy.
01:08:25You were so nice to do this. I mean, especially after the way I acted when we first...
01:08:30You know what? Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go inside and get us some water and then we're gonna just keep looking.
01:08:33Wait! I can't find Raphael. You seen him anywhere?
01:08:48Well, Bob, I promise you won't hate me.
01:08:50What are you talking about? What happened?
01:08:52Raphael got out.
01:08:53He got out?
01:08:54Yeah.
01:08:55He doesn't know the neighborhood.
01:08:56I don't know.
01:08:57No, no, no, no.
01:09:06Oh, wait, he's right there.
01:09:09Hey!
01:09:10Oh, hey, hey!
01:09:13Oh, oh, my God!
01:09:15What is our dog doing in your garage?
01:09:28I have no idea.
01:09:35What?
01:09:36Did you get a chance to napalm the jungle yet?
01:09:47Yep.
01:09:49And?
01:09:50All quiet on the southern front.
01:09:54Gabby, we've got to be more careful.
01:09:57Absolutely.
01:09:59It's kind of exciting, though.
01:10:01What is?
01:10:03Playing with fire, almost getting burned, but not quite.
01:10:05Don't be thinking like that.
01:10:06If Victor catches us, he'll kill us both.
01:10:09That's what's so exciting.
01:10:13Hi.
01:10:15Hi.
01:10:15Oh, my excuse me.
01:10:20Oh, that's, um, an interesting colonial word.
01:10:25My wife gave it to me.
01:10:26It's got, uh, anise root, fennel.
01:10:30You like it?
01:10:31Yeah, it's just, um, I don't know, weirdly familiar.
01:10:47Crab cake?
01:10:49Uh, yeah.
01:10:51Thanks.
01:10:55Crab cake?
01:10:55Crab cake?
01:11:11Crab cake?
01:11:13Kids are asleep.
01:11:36I'm not.
01:11:39Uh-huh.
01:11:40What you got back there?
01:11:42Just a little present.
01:11:44Say hello to Brandy's even sluttier sister, Candy.
01:11:51What are you doing?
01:11:52Well, I just thought since we had so much fun last night, maybe we can have a little more fun.
01:11:57And that's only possible when you're pretending I'm someone else?
01:12:04Well, you have to pretend, too.
01:12:07What?
01:12:10This is me, Tom.
01:12:12Not brandy or candy.
01:12:15It's just your wife.
01:12:17Lynette, am I not enough for you?
01:12:18What are you getting so mad for?
01:12:20I mean, the first wig was your idea.
01:12:22Yeah, because I'm bald.
01:12:24And I know that that's a big old turnoff.
01:12:27But, you know, I can't help it.
01:12:28I have cancer.
01:12:29Yes, I know.
01:12:30I hear about it all the time.
01:12:32Can you blame me for wanting to escape every once in a while?
01:12:35Escape from me, you mean?
01:12:37Yes!
01:12:39You know why last night was so much fun?
01:12:40Because I got to make love to someone who wasn't sick.
01:12:43I know, I know.
01:12:45I'm not supposed to say this stuff.
01:12:46I have to be the heroic husband who listens and holds you when you cry and never cries himself.
01:12:50But this affects me, too.
01:12:55Well, I know that.
01:12:57You do?
01:12:57Yeah.
01:12:58How?
01:12:58Since this whole thing began, have you ever once asked me how I'm doing?
01:13:12Oh, my God.
01:13:14I haven't.
01:13:15Have I?
01:13:16I am one of those whiny, self-involved, sick people.
01:13:31I didn't say that.
01:13:32No, I am.
01:13:34It's been months, and I have barely thought about what you're going through.
01:13:38It's okay.
01:13:38Will you stop being so heroic?
01:13:41I'm a cancer bitch.
01:13:42I'm a cancer bitch.
01:13:46What?
01:13:52I'm not going to argue with you.
01:13:56You suck.
01:14:03I guess I could give Candy a whirl.
01:14:08Are the kids really asleep?
01:14:11Because I think she might be a screamer.
01:14:16Actually, if we're going to pretend, how about tonight?
01:14:23I am not a hero.
01:14:26And you are not a cancer patient.
01:14:29We'll just be Tom and Lynette.
01:14:33See what happens.
01:14:36Oh, I'd like that.
01:14:37How's Bob's suit?
01:14:50Ruined.
01:14:51Oh, what if we take it to my cleaners?
01:14:53Susan, that paint's not coming out.
01:14:54So we're buying him a new suit.
01:14:57For 2,000 bucks.
01:14:592,000 dollars?
01:15:00According to Lee, it's a dolce.
01:15:02I don't know what that means, but he said it six times.
01:15:04That's crazy!
01:15:05No, what's crazy is I'm about to buy the most expensive suit of my life, and I'll never
01:15:10wear it.
01:15:11I just wanted them to like me.
01:15:13Well, they don't.
01:15:15Lee said that six times, too.
01:15:17There must be some way I can apologize to them.
01:15:20We can't afford any more of your apologies.
01:15:22I know.
01:15:22Maybe if I...
01:15:23Damn it, Susan.
01:15:23Let it go, okay?
01:15:25I asked you two before, and you didn't.
01:15:26And look what happened.
01:15:27So I'll ask you again.
01:15:29Just let it go.
01:15:30Mike, wait.
01:15:31We should talk about this.
01:15:32I'm going to bed.
01:15:33I've got to work tomorrow.
01:15:35I'm buying a suit.
01:15:51Grandma!
01:15:54What are you doing here?
01:15:55You needn't be embarrassed, dear.
01:15:58Your mother's told me everything.
01:15:59It's great to see you.
01:16:03I hate this place.
01:16:04It's like baby jail.
01:16:05Oh.
01:16:06Well, that's what I've come to talk to you about.
01:16:09Perhaps it's time for you to leave.
01:16:16Is that you?
01:16:20We have to talk.
01:16:22Hey.
01:16:34I'm glad you're home.
01:16:37I wanted to talk to you about Aunt Lily.
01:16:39What about her?
01:16:42It was so weird.
01:16:44She called me into her room this afternoon.
01:16:47She started saying she knew why I didn't remember living on this street before.
01:16:50Oh, sweetie.
01:16:53Your Aunt Lily is fading fast.
01:16:55Half the time she doesn't know what she's saying.
01:17:00Is that her?
01:17:02No, I just checked on her.
01:17:04She's sleeping.
01:17:06You know, you have that recital in two weeks.
01:17:08Shouldn't you be practicing?
01:17:09I'm not.
01:17:16Dylan.
01:17:16Dylan.
01:17:17Please.
01:17:21Please.
01:17:21Please.
01:17:21Please.
01:17:21Please.
01:17:21Please.
01:17:22Please.
01:17:23Please.
01:17:23Please.
01:17:23Please.
01:17:24Please.
01:17:25Please.
01:17:25Please.
01:17:26Please.
01:17:27Please.
01:17:28Please.
01:17:29Please.
01:17:30Please.
01:17:31Please.
01:17:32Please.
01:17:33Please.
01:17:34Please.
01:17:35Please.
01:17:36Please.
01:17:37Please.
01:17:38Please.
01:17:39Please.
01:17:40Please.
01:17:41Please.
01:17:42Please.
01:17:43Please.
01:17:44Please.
01:17:45Please.
01:17:46Please.
01:17:46Please.
01:17:47ORGAN PLAYS
01:18:17Pests, they come in all shapes and sizes
01:18:31and disrupt our lives in a variety of ways.
01:18:36At first, they're merely annoying.
01:18:41And we do our best to ignore them.
01:18:43But if we don't take them seriously,
01:18:49they can become quite dangerous.
01:18:54For some, death seems to be the easiest solution.
01:18:59But the problem with pests
01:19:07is that what they leave behind
01:19:10is just as dangerous.
01:19:13Music
01:19:21.
01:19:21.
01:19:25.
01:19:26.
01:19:34.
01:19:35.
01:19:35.