Dave & Chuck the Freak read an e-mail from a listener who encountered someone in Tennessee and wanted to know if there was anything shady going on with his business. So as Dave usually does, he called the guy to find out more.
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00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from 5-Hour Energy?
00:02Oh yeah, I had mine this morning. Now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:05My superpowers.
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light. It's not radioactive.
00:11I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:21This couple who sent us an email who listened in Tennessee
00:24want to know if they got cucked over the weekend at a tractor supply store.
00:32Yes.
00:34So here's what they said.
00:36Support command.
00:37My husband has listened to you guys since sophomore year of high school
00:41and he just turned 34 today.
00:43Go after yourself.
00:44He got me hooked on you guys several years ago during our road trips.
00:48Half the time.
00:49Anywho, with that much listening,
00:51we now look at the world through a Dave and Chuck the Freak lens
00:54and I got to tell you, it has served us very well.
00:57So thank you guys for that.
00:59Anyway, she says, we live in Tennessee now
01:01and we were out today shopping at Tractor Supply Co.
01:04for some lawnmower parts.
01:06At the checkout, we encountered a very friendly,
01:10bug-eyed, skinny feller
01:11with his rotund country bumpkin wife
01:16How you doing?
01:18who insisted
01:19we cut in line in front of them.
01:22Please do.
01:24And then they immediately started chatting it up with us.
01:28Oh yeah.
01:29Our conversation only lasted a couple of minutes
01:31but within that time,
01:32he rattled off a ton of questions.
01:34Where are you from?
01:36Where you live now?
01:37How long you been married?
01:40The only things we learned about them
01:42is that they were originally from Pennsylvania
01:44and something about a fancy dinner
01:47and shaving women's backs.
01:48I don't even know how that comes up.
01:54And where was this again?
01:55Tennessee at the Tractor Supply Company store.
01:57They were in line?
01:58They were in line.
01:59But the couple was like,
02:00hey, please go ahead of us.
02:01Get up there.
02:02This is a conversation in line.
02:03In line.
02:04At Tractor Supply Co.
02:05I somehow weaved into the conversation
02:08shaving women's backs.
02:11Like how do you even get that in there?
02:13I don't know.
02:14How do you get that in there?
02:15I don't know.
02:16He became quite giddy
02:18towards the end of the conversation.
02:21Almost excited.
02:24Suddenly, it's our turn at the checkout line
02:27and he quickly hands my husband his business card
02:30which I've attached for your review.
02:33Okay.
02:34So did we get cucked at Tractor Supply?
02:39Here is the card.
02:43Man Cave Cuts.
02:46Not your dad's barbershop.
02:49Donation only.
02:52Donation only.
02:54What the hell does that mean?
02:55So like he's...
02:56He doesn't.
02:57He doesn't want anything on the books.
03:00He doesn't want...
03:01Just pay whatever you feel you can afford.
03:03It seems like it.
03:06It's just...
03:07I mean, judging by that card,
03:08I don't know if he's going to have a website.
03:13Oh, wait.
03:13Hold on.
03:14For a good time
03:16and time has crossed out
03:17and the haircut is there.
03:19Text or call Jeff.
03:21Is he just a rascal?
03:23We need to call Jeff.
03:24Yeah.
03:25Oh, wow.
03:25I'm waiting for you to call Jeff.
03:26For a good time.
03:28You think Jeff's up this early?
03:29No.
03:30There's no way.
03:31He's been swinging all night.
03:32I bet he is.
03:33Can I call and pretend
03:34I'm the guy he met
03:35at the Tractor Supply?
03:37Go see what he says, right?
03:39Go ahead.
03:39Who cares?
03:40Go ahead.
03:40That's okay.
03:40Give it a ring there, Jason.
03:41See if you can...
03:42Oh.
03:43Well, actually, I can do it.
03:43Oh, shoot.
03:44Oh, Jesus.
03:45I can't hear anything.
03:45I don't know what's going on.
03:47Whatever.
03:48I'm about to call a random number.
03:50I'm going to call this random person
03:52and see what...
03:52We don't even know.
03:53Yeah.
03:53If the story checks out.
03:55No, we don't know anything.
03:56We'll find out.
03:56You know, right?
03:57We're just calling a weird dude.
03:58We're just calling...
03:59Here we go.
03:59Here we go.
04:00See if it...
04:00It's early, though.
04:01I don't know.
04:02Oh, jeez.
04:03Hope I can hear him.
04:04Oh, God.
04:05I can't hear him.
04:05I know.
04:16It's too early.
04:17Hello?
04:18Hi.
04:18Is this Jeff?
04:20Speaking.
04:21Hi, there.
04:21Don't know if you remember.
04:23We bumped into each other
04:24at the tractor supply company
04:25over the weekend.
04:27Okay.
04:28Yeah, and I got your card.
04:29I'm just wondering...
04:30There's a chance to make an appointment.
04:34Yeah, sure.
04:35When's good for you?
04:37Are you available today?
04:40Yeah, sure.
04:41And what's the price?
04:45Oh, it's a donation.
04:48So what...
04:50Like, just so I know, cash-wise...
04:52Well, the last place I worked at
04:54was like $35 for a haircut.
04:56But, you know, whatever.
04:59You know, giving $20, $30.
05:00I mean, it's up to you.
05:02Okay.
05:03And that's a full-service haircut?
05:09Like, what do you mean?
05:12Like a shave?
05:14Yeah.
05:14Yeah.
05:16Yeah, I can do that, too.
05:18Yeah.
05:18Okay.
05:19That's great.
05:21So about $10?
05:24I don't know.
05:24Do you have the dog?
05:27What's that?
05:27Do you have the dog?
05:28Do you have the dog?
05:29Yeah.
05:31Okay, yeah, the truck and the dog.
05:32Okay, gotcha.
05:33Yeah.
05:34Yeah, yeah, no problem.
05:35Yeah.
05:38Yeah, 10 o'clock will work.
05:39Okay.
05:40Do you know my address?
05:42Yes.
05:44Do you have it?
05:45Yep.
05:45Or you don't?
05:46No, I'm...
05:47You know what?
05:47Just let me confirm.
05:48I'm just going to make sure that time works,
05:51and I'll give you a call back in a little bit.
05:52Okay, yeah, just give me a second.
05:55I'm sorry.
05:56I just woke up.
05:57That's why I'm kind of a little groggy.
05:59Yeah, no problem.
06:01Yeah, totally fine.
06:03And then I'll give you my address.
06:06Or do you have my address?
06:07I'm sorry.
06:08No, yeah, I got it.
06:09But I'll call you back in just a little bit
06:10once I confirm the time.
06:12What's your name?
06:13It's Jim.
06:15Okay, Jim.
06:16Well, I hope to see you.
06:18Okay, take care.
06:18Okay.
06:19Bye.
06:19Yep.
06:23He's just giving out haircuts.
06:25He's just giving out haircuts.
06:26I'm saying it's totally normal.
06:27He just was a jokey kind of card.
06:29It was a jokey card.
06:30He's getting $35 today.
06:32It was just a joke for a good time.
06:34He's just a jokester.
06:35He's just a wild man.
06:37I just called a guy at 6.30.
06:39He's getting a haircut.
06:42He's all confused.
06:43Yeah, of course he is.
06:44I woke him up for a haircut.
06:45There's a guy named Jim.
06:46Do you see what our show has done to people?
06:48Yes.
06:49That guy thought for sure.
06:50Totally normal.
06:51He wants sex.
06:52This guy's totally normal.
06:53When Dave was like, how about that full service haircut?
06:57The guy was like, he was like, what in the Jesus?
07:01What in the Jesus?
07:02He just is now going to tell people he was proposition.
07:06Yeah.
07:06He is.
07:07He was like, I met this guy at Tractor Supply.
07:10I knew I shouldn't have talked to him.
07:11I did.
07:12I gave him my card.
07:13That guy just blocked Jim's number.
07:15Oh, yeah.
07:16Super early in the morning.
07:18I just woke up.
07:20It was 6.30.
07:21Call it a guy for a haircut.
07:22Oh, they're in the central time zone.
07:24It was even an hour earlier.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26I feel so bad.
07:28I just woke this guy up.
07:29Damn it.
07:30Yeah, I guess I'm not up and at him yet.
07:33I don't really give too many haircuts out at 5.38 a.m.
07:38He was nice enough for that, though.
07:41He was so nice.
07:43Oh, well.
07:43He just had a funny card.
07:45And we've ruined people.
07:47We've ruined them.
07:48Everyone thinks everybody wants sex.
07:50See, this is the thing.
07:51I think sometimes you go down south and it's just a different life.
07:56Yeah, they're nice.
07:56They're nice.
07:57They talk to you.
07:58They tell you about it.
07:59Exactly.
08:00We're not ready for it.
08:01And it jumps out.
08:03And it seems awkward.
08:04It seems weird.
08:05That's it.
08:06You know, and then he has a, he's a jokester.
08:11Right.
08:11You know, he was so excited to meet someone who might want to get a donation haircut from
08:17him.
08:17Okay.
08:17But what is that, though?
08:18Is that like you're under the radar?
08:20No taxes?
08:21Yes.
08:21Yes.
08:22So is he doing this at home?
08:24It sounds like it.
08:25He asked for the address.
08:26Probably, yeah.
08:27At some random Tennessee man's house for a haircut.
08:29There's got to be more to the story.
08:31It's probably half the haircuts in Tennessee.
08:32Well, ask him.
08:33You could have just said.
08:34He might have another job.
08:35Yes.
08:36Right.
08:36And he like just does this.
08:37So it was a 538 haircut that could be for only like five bucks.
08:41He's probably guaranteed.
08:42He just went every hand on his other job today.
08:46He's excited.
08:48Yeah.
08:48Because he's going to cut a man's hair.
08:50He loves cutting hair.
08:51He went all the way and made an appointment at a specific time.
08:53Oh, come on.
08:54No, there's no way this guy was trying to hit on you.
08:58No.
08:59Not in your dad's barbershop.
09:01It's all very odd.
09:02That's a strange business.
09:03The donation only.
09:04He's sitting in like a cuck chair.
09:05Yeah, that's weird.
09:05I don't know.
09:06It's weird.
09:06That is a little weird.
09:07I get it.
09:07It's weird.
09:08It's Tennessee, guys.
09:09I don't think we understand it.
09:11Oh, but $35, too.
09:12That's pretty pricey for a man's haircut.
09:14Well, he's trying to make some money.
09:17Yeah, but why would I go to some random dude's house when I can go to super cheap cuts?
09:21Well, because this guy's going to give you a fantastic dad cut.
09:25Yes.
09:27No, I don't.
09:28No, not really.
09:29Some of it doesn't add up, you guys.
09:31Some of it.
09:31Come on.
09:32It's odd.
09:32The picture, the card.
09:34All right, call him back and ask if the country bumpkin wife will be there.
09:39No, no.
09:40Do not call him back.
09:41No, do not call him back.
09:41I'm not serious.
09:42That's how you would.
09:44Don't give ideas like that because he does them.
09:46I'm not serious.
09:47He does them.
09:48You can't do that.
09:49He's like, ah, my ear.
09:50I'm like, next thing you know.
09:54He thought you were the guy with the dog.
09:56Yeah.
09:56So I don't know.
09:57And then Dave's like, yeah, me, the dog guy.
09:59I don't know what to say.
10:00I know.
10:01He sounded so normal.
10:03Yeah, he did.
10:04I knew right away.
10:06I was like, nope, nope.
10:07Okay, someone said, I don't know.
10:09When someone says donation, it always has something to do with sex.
10:12It does?
10:13I don't think so.
10:14Because they legally can't accept money for sex, right?
10:16He would have said something about the full service when you said that.
10:20That threw him for such a loop.
10:21That did throw him for such a loop.
10:23It was an awkward silence.
10:24Unless he's, God, and this is just our show creeping into my own head.
10:30Unless he's just really covering his ass.
10:33Well, he should be.
10:34And he's like, the only person that would call for a haircut at 5.38 a.m. is a cop.
10:43Yeah, and did the numbers show up?
10:45Like, what area code?
10:46Yeah, I don't know.
10:47How odd.
10:48God, I hope not.
10:50Oh.
10:51Oh, well.
10:52Yeah.
10:52We wish him all the best.
10:54Whatever he's up to.
10:56Whatever he's up to.
10:56I also love you pulled a name out of your ass that is nothing even close to what these
11:01two people were named.
11:02Well, I don't know.
11:04I panicked.
11:05I know.
11:06But then the shaving a woman's back.
11:09Shaving women's backs?
11:10He probably was busting jokes out.
11:13Worked that into the conversation.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Hmm.
11:17I don't.
11:18So I'm not sure.
11:19I don't know.
11:21I do think there's more than meets the eye here, though.
11:23Maybe.
11:24I do think there's more than meets the eye.
11:25There might be.
11:26Maybe he really was shaving hairy women's backs in Pennsylvania.
11:32How many hairy women are there?
11:34Whoever he was.
11:34So in Pennsylvania?
11:35How many women are there?
11:36In Pennsylvania?
11:36I don't know.
11:37In Pennsylvania, there's so many.
11:38No, we don't.
11:3850% of the women in Pennsylvania have back here.
11:40I think he's just a real barber.
11:42I don't think so.
11:43You're not a real barber.
11:44Then you'd have a real barber shop and you wouldn't say donation only.
11:47You might not be able to afford it.
11:48For it.
11:48Yeah.
11:49And man cave cuts?
11:52Man cave.
11:53Because he does it in his man cave?
11:54I get it.
11:55I mean, it looks like he's got a nice truck.
11:56But why not your dad's barber shop?
11:58Not your dad's barber shop.
12:00Donation only.
12:02It's odd.
12:03You call him Jason.
12:04That picture is odd.
12:06Me too.
12:07Back to back strangers.
12:10Hey.
12:10I met you at the tractor supply.
12:12Then he's going to be like, this is for sure cops.
12:15No, no.
12:15I did.
12:15I did.
12:17But that threw some legitimacy there.
12:19He was a tractor supply company.
12:21He knew.
12:21He's like, oh, yeah.
12:22All right.
12:23Do you want me to do it and be the perv and be overtly perverted?
12:27Just so you feel like do oral for you or something.
12:31I'm kidding.
12:32We're not doing that.
12:33You say it's not your dad's barber shop.
12:35What do you mean by that?
12:36What can I get?
12:37What do you mean by that?
12:38Can I call you daddy?
12:39Someone said any escort ad I've seen always said donation only.
12:42Really?
12:43Okay.
12:45Listen, guys.
12:46You're not able to see this guy.
12:48Okay.
12:49But if somebody is, I mean, I don't know.
12:54I mean, anything's possible, I guess, in life.
12:57I hope he doesn't bump into that guy at tractor supply again.
13:00He's going to, which is amazing.
13:03Like, this guy looks like a 60-something-year-old man.
13:08I know.
13:09It's, I tell you, it's not right.
13:14That ain't right, Jack.
13:15Is it a full service haircut?
13:17There's more to this.
13:18What in the hell do you mean by that, sir?
13:21You mean shave?
13:23You want me to shave?
13:24Sure.
13:25Your back?
13:25Man cave cuts, huh?
13:30I mean, unfortunately, we put his deal out.
13:34I mean, I don't know if you can look it up.
13:35You can't find it at all anywhere.
13:37I haven't been able to find it.
13:38Yeah.
13:39No.
13:41It's just he's got a man cave with, like, a barber chair in it.
13:45Oh, there's several people that have that name.
13:49Yeah.
13:50So he probably.
13:51But officially, like, different.
13:53A little bit different.
13:55So these are legitimate.
13:56Yeah.
13:56But that's not him.
13:56An odd start to the day.
14:01Yeah.
14:03I don't believe he has social media.
14:05No, he's.
14:06No, he's undercover.
14:07He's undercover for a reason, you guys.
14:08For a good time slash haircut call.
14:11I get it.
14:12I get it.
14:13He's a jokester.
14:14He is a jokester, I think.
14:16But, you know.
14:19Well, if he's not doing anything shady, he's really confused right now.
14:23He's excited.
14:24Yeah.
14:25Yeah.
14:25I feel bad for the guy.
14:26No, he doesn't.
14:26Because he has an appointment.
14:27And then if I called him and tried to sell him, he'd think he'd have two.
14:32Busy day.
14:33Honey.
14:34He would think he was abducted by aliens overnight or something.
14:38Like, it's the weirdest day that he's ever had.
14:40If two people called him.
14:41Yeah, that would be wild.
14:43It's the weirdest day he's ever had.
14:46Hmm.
14:47My guess is he gives out hundreds of those, and there's never anyone who calls back.
14:52So.
14:52Someone said it sounds more like Jim's haircuts and prostate exams.
14:56Well, I mean, I think he would have been like, yeah, check you out.
14:59Yeah.
15:00Found his wife on Facebook.
15:02Oh, wow.
15:02You did?
15:03Yeah.
15:04What are we thinking?
15:06Family guy.
15:08Just a family guy.
15:09Family guy.
15:10Yep.
15:11He has a wife.
15:13Oh, my.
15:13How did you find him?
15:14This is.
15:15I'm bored.
15:17No, but how is that?
15:19That's him, huh?
15:20Yeah, from Pennsylvania.
15:22Yeah.
15:22And now that's him.
15:23Oh, yeah.
15:24Okay, so he's not as old as I thought he was, huh?
15:26How the looks of that?
15:29Totally normal guy.
15:30Oh, yeah.
15:31No, dude.
15:31I think he's older.
15:33Yes.
15:34I mean, look how old their wedding picture is.
15:35Yes.
15:36Come on.
15:37They got married in the 80s?
15:39Yeah.
15:39Incredible.
15:40They're older.
15:41Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:42He's older.
15:42He's older.
15:43But he's just cutting.
15:45Yes.
15:46100%.
15:46That's all that is.
15:47I mean, God, guns, and the government.
15:50You know?
15:53Like, that's just.
15:54And off-the-record haircuts.
15:56Yeah.
15:56I mean.
15:57Yeah.
15:58He's eccentric.
15:59Look at the glasses he picked.
16:01Sure.
16:02You know?
16:03He's a wild guy, but it's just normal stuff.
16:05Oh.
16:06Yeah.
16:06It's just normal.
16:07I mean, you never know.
16:08Him and his wife could be.
16:10There's no.
16:11No, they're just.
16:12Oh, Chuck, have you seen some of the people we've.
16:14You don't go in with those lights.
16:15Oh, that's him.
16:16That's him.
16:18Yep.
16:19Oh.
16:20There's his picture that he puts on the car.
16:22Yep.
16:23And he's got, look, a name of a business.
16:25Oh, yeah.
16:26Yep.
16:26Yes.
16:26Oh, my.
16:27He's just a legitimate.
16:29He's the.
16:30He's just totally normal.
16:31Oh, I'm so sorry to everyone that we ruined your minds.
16:35Yeah.
16:35And you think everyone wants sex.
16:37We apologize.
16:40Oh, no.
16:41This guy is never.
16:42No, man.
16:42So normal.
16:43Yeah.
16:44He is not.
16:44I called him at 5.30 in the morning.
16:46You did.
16:46Asking for a full service haircut.
16:48He's casting up Bible verses.
16:50Oh, my God.
16:51He's just trying to do nice things.
16:53Yep.
16:54Not your dad's barbershop.
16:56There it is.
16:56Yeah.
16:56So he had it.
16:58He has a legitimate business.
16:59It was called something.
17:01He did.
17:02Yeah.
17:02No, not anymore.
17:03He's just doing it on the side.
17:05On the side.
17:06Didn't work.
17:06You know, you try sometimes.
17:08Or he's retired.
17:09Geez, I don't.
17:10I don't know.
17:11Oh, it is.
17:13I don't know, you guys.
17:15He's not.
17:15He doesn't do the stand up, right?
17:17He's just going to see people doing stand up.
17:19I think he likes jokes.
17:21He's really upset over the death of Richard Simmons.
17:24It's about the movie.
17:25That to me is worrisome.
17:27This poor guy.
17:29That was Randy Travis.
17:30I was going to say, he was with Travis Trid or Randy Travis, one of them.
17:34He was with one of the Travises.
17:36All right.
17:37There you go.
17:37That's enough of a dive.
17:38That's fine.
17:39We're good.
17:40Hitting on you or offering prep proposition to you.
17:41No, not even close.
17:43Not even close.
17:44He's just talking and being nice.
17:46Friendly man.
17:48Like, don't you think.
17:48Now he's clearing his calendar for 10 a.m. this morning.
17:51The only other person I know that has any real experience in Tennessee is Dave.
17:56And Dave went down and met Smiley in Tennessee.
18:00And I feel like Smiley was kind of the same guy.
18:04Just the jovial, show you around, tell you, go to the Olive Garden, trying to help you
18:10out.
18:11Like, smile.
18:12He's a hustler, though, at the Tractor Supply, handing out cards for his haircuts.
18:16I've never in my once in my life been handed a haircut card.
18:20Never been in a Tractor Supply store.
18:22How do you know that?
18:24That's 100% right.
18:25You haven't even looked over at one.
18:30They might not let him in.
18:31They might not let Dave in.
18:33Hey, we call it TSC.
18:35Just so you know.
18:35No, they would be like, hey, just get out of here.
18:39What are you, Fed?
18:41Get out of here.
18:45Fed.
18:46Get out of here.
18:47We don't need your kind here, Fed.
18:49Well, yes.
18:50We apologize to the Tennessee man who's a barber who I woke up early propositioning sex from.
18:55Yeah.
18:56Thank God he didn't say anymore.
18:58Oh, my God.
18:58I am so relieved.
18:59I was like, no.
19:00I was like, don't.
19:01You like to lick balls?
19:04I'm so glad you did say that.
19:06My God.
19:07That would have been really bad for that man.
19:09Sometimes you just know right off the bat.
19:11Changed him.
19:12Yep.
19:13He was like, damn it.
19:14Gay man called me.
19:15I'm getting out of this business.
19:16Can't have my cards out to strangers no more.
19:18Made a mistake.
19:19That couple, we met at Tractor Supply.
19:21Turns out that feller, queer, is a $3 bill.
19:23Yep.
19:25Yep.
19:26I don't know what he wanted from me.
19:30Full service, he said.
19:31What do you think that means?
19:33Man cuts.
19:36So glad Court found that.
19:37Oh, my God.
19:38Yes, yeah.
19:38Really.
19:39Did set the record a little.
19:40Yeah.