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Almost Killed Someone
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share stories about times they were able to say, "I think I killed them".
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
What's the moment you thought, I've killed someone?
00:08
Let's go to voice changing technology.
00:11
Hello, Anonymous.
00:12
How's she going, eh?
00:12
How's she going, eh?
00:13
What happened?
00:15
Okay, so it was, we'll say five, six years ago, I went to go pick some folks up from
00:20
a party that needed a ride home.
00:22
There were some gentlemen there that did not agree with my presence at that location.
00:27
Two of them came after me, one of them had a knife, and tried stabbing me in the kidney,
00:32
so I grabbed a large wrench out of my pickup, hit the one kid in the head, and gave him
00:37
like 13 stitches, and cracked his skull.
00:41
So there was a moment where you thought, oh my god, I've killed this guy?
00:44
Yes.
00:45
State police were involved, it was a big deal, I got cleared of the charges.
00:49
Oh my goodness.
00:50
Guy is...
00:51
Oh, Jesus, that's not how we say it.
00:54
That's okay.
00:54
What are you going to do?
00:55
The guy has issues.
00:57
Yeah, the guy has issues now, though.
00:58
Mental issues.
00:59
Yeah.
01:04
I was getting it.
01:07
We always make it almost to the end of the whole story, and then somehow, one little
01:11
piece gets...
01:12
It's horrible, it's horrible.
01:13
The guy is...
01:16
Oh, man.
01:17
You got hit with your wrench, guys.
01:20
Oh my god.
01:22
Bait my head.
01:23
That is not something to laugh about, but it is...
01:25
No.
01:26
No, it's terrible.
01:26
It is a terrible...
01:27
But he pulled a knife on him, you know.
01:28
That's just how it all played out here.
01:31
Let's find out from this regular line here how this person almost killed a stripper.
01:36
Oh boy.
01:37
Hello, Anonymous.
01:39
How's she going, eh?
01:40
How's she going, eh?
01:41
Tell us about the time where you thought you killed someone.
01:44
Well, I was at my buddy's bachelor party and I was the best man, so of course I got a
01:47
couch dance at the end of the night.
01:48
You know, I had a few beers in me.
01:50
She was just a little bitty thing.
01:52
Well, she starts trying to rub her bits in my face.
01:54
Right.
01:54
And I don't want no stripper bits in my face, right?
01:58
Oh my god, no.
01:59
React.
01:59
So, I'm telling her, I'm like, okay, that's close enough, that's good, that's it.
02:05
That's close enough.
02:06
There wasn't much else I could do.
02:08
I just stood right up and this was happening on a futon and I went to set her down nicely
02:14
Well, after the beers had kicked in, she had a little bit of a head rush.
02:18
Basically, power-bounded the stripper into a futon.
02:21
And I looked at my buddy.
02:25
Oh, damn!
02:27
No.
02:28
And I look at all my buddies and I'm like, oh my god, I broke the stripper!
02:34
Oh my god.
02:35
She was okay, though?
02:37
Yeah, she was fine.
02:38
I don't know, it must have been the cocaine or whatever she was doing.
02:42
You power-bounded her.
02:43
Oh my god.
02:44
Yeah, power-bounded her into the spine of the futon.
02:48
Oh my god.
02:50
You know, that's my reaction, too, though, is, like, I don't realize it, but I will, like,
02:55
I'll throw, I'll do something like that.
02:58
My body reacts in a way sometimes that I don't understand.
03:00
I think all of us do.
03:01
Like, honestly, I think it's your, it's like, it activates your fight or flight response
03:07
in certain scenarios.
03:09
Let's go next to Matt.
03:10
Your heart didn't stop that way.
03:11
Matt from Boston.
03:12
When did you think you almost killed someone?
03:16
Penis.
03:16
Penis.
03:17
Penis.
03:18
What's going on, guys?
03:19
I was 17 years old and I bought my first car.
03:23
I drove through a house going about 40 miles an hour.
03:26
Dude.
03:27
Oh my god.
03:27
No way.
03:29
Right into a bedroom.
03:31
The whole nine, I see a fish tank on the ground.
03:35
People come in, they start screaming.
03:37
My son's underneath the car.
03:39
Oh my god.
03:40
No.
03:41
Dude.
03:41
No.
03:43
So, the kid was mentally handicapped to boot.
03:47
Mm.
03:48
Mm.
03:49
So, after about an hour of sitting in the cop car, I'm thinking, he's dead, I'm going
03:55
to jail for manslaughter the whole night.
03:57
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:58
How's the kid?
03:58
How's the kid?
03:59
Well.
04:00
Broken collarbone.
04:02
That was it.
04:03
Oh my god.
04:04
Well, thank god.
04:05
Awful.
04:05
What a terrible story.
04:06
What a terrible story.
04:07
No.
04:07
Collarbone.
04:08
No, no, no.
04:10
Yeah.
04:10
Survived by no of a car.
04:11
No, no, no.
04:11
What noise was that, Dave, that you made?
04:13
I don't know.
04:16
Dave.
04:17
I don't know what happened.
04:21
Tried to suck the story up.
04:23
I get hit.
04:23
Suck the story.
04:24
Suck the story.
04:26
Always challenge.
04:31
It was amazing.
04:33
It was an amazing noise.
04:34
It was.
04:35
And he didn't even, he didn't even do it like off to the side.
04:40
You actually put your face right into the microphone.
04:50
That's the same noise I make when I eat spaghetti.
04:52
Oh no.
04:53
Nope.
04:54
Special James spaghetti.
04:56
Spaghetti.
04:57
No.
04:58
Here's some text coming in.
05:00
First time skiing.
05:01
Boyfriend didn't teach me how to stop.
05:03
So I'm flying down the hill.
05:05
I crash into this really old man at the bottom of the ski hill.
05:09
Full speed.
05:10
Yeah.
05:11
He doesn't move.
05:14
I've killed an old man.
05:18
What in the hell?
05:23
Well, hello, little lady.
05:25
Are you okay, sir?
05:27
I think everything in me is broken.
05:28
It looks like it.
05:32
I am completely shattered.
05:36
She said luckily he was okay, but it was my first and last time skiing.
05:39
Yeah, that'll do it.
05:40
You need to learn how to stop when you ski.
05:42
Oh my God.
05:43
I'll tell you what though.
05:44
Like I know.
05:45
I just mentioned the gold man.
05:46
Listen, I had learned to stop on the like bunny slope, but then they like sent me up to this
05:53
giant mountain and there was no stopping.
05:56
So I get what this chick is going through.
05:58
I learned early on.
05:59
I was trying a pizza stop and it wasn't pizza stopping anything.
06:02
I've never skied in my life because I just learned early on going downstairs.
06:07
I started going quick.
06:09
I don't know what will happen to me.
06:11
I'll ski.
06:11
You can't handle stairs.
06:13
I don't mind the slope.
06:14
You're like a missile.
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