Jerking Mistakes

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk to listeners about their experiences of self-pleasure gone wrong.

Transcript

00:00your worst jerkin mistake is what we're talking about mike's with us here on the dave and chuck

00:07lines at 1-855-954-6969 mike prepare to peg sir preparing to peg sir peg peg i love it so every

00:18year me and 30 other guys are roughly that on a golf trip and one of the main rules is no women

00:26so i mean we don't it's all guys well we get to where we play our first round and then we check

00:31into our hotel and i was under the impression that i was staying by myself in a room this year so i

00:35spread eagle on the bed as soon as i checked into my room and lo and behold somebody walked right in

00:41on me and there was a giant mirror they could see my reflection on the bed reflective masturbation

00:49yeah yeah within uh within five minutes word spread to the whole uh yeah that's it the whole

00:55crew and that was uh that was pretty much the most embarrassing moment of my life oh mike so he was

01:00one of the guys that was with you oh yeah yeah oh yeah oh so that poor guy that had to then room with

01:08you the red-handed jerker yeah i feel for him that's an awkward roomie uh someone said my buddy

01:15accidentally spanked it to his mom's bits he found a polaroid of some bits outside that was meant for

01:22the garbage oh no he had no idea until one day his mom found it in the bathroom and asked him where

01:30he got it from oh my god no no no no no how many times did he pleasure himself well like because it's

01:37his favorite you know like he found it so it's it's like one of his prized possessions so after that

01:42you just walk try to walk to the bottom of the ocean that's what you do you do try it's yeah you

01:47either become the joker or you walk to the bottom of the ocean yep with big heavy shoes on it you go

01:54right into a volcano yeah yep i don't want you to but it's one of those two things that's one or the

02:01other yep oh that is the word that's worse than your aunt that's worse than anything after that

02:07you're different i think so too i used to live with my grandma and i i remember it but this was

02:12like such a different time i can tell i'm dating myself because i i had to go so she's at bingo

02:18night right yeah big night for me bingo night was when i did most of my self-love yeah yep bingo night

02:26under the o yeah she was out and uh i went to this place called the lion's den and i had bought

02:32pornography yes purchased pornography from the lion's den uh dvds and uh magazines yep and uh

02:45thank you lion's den yeah i never got caught though but i i bingo night i was pretty busy usually

02:50because you knew she'd be gone for x amount of time i did yeah and you know you could hear i wonder if

02:56that place is still around no i bet lion's den yeah it's like a chain oh is it yeah oh

03:02that was where i bought that's it right that's it yep that would be it that's the same one that's

03:10the exact place yeah to go down memory you have a lion's den rewards card no no i did not i was

03:17very uncomfortable the more you buy the more i was like 18 or 19 and i was like i just i really got

03:23to relieve i would love to have you realize that oh andy oh wow you want to take uh take a glimpse

03:29inside i would love for you to realize that you have some reward points there still

03:34oh andy green yeah you still got 32 points yeah because i bet i remember i was like i got all brave

03:41and i was like look at that place huh just one dvd and one it's huge it's like a superstore

03:48you know though vagina sleeve like yeah

03:50oh no i got in my whole evening oh wow there it's bingo night it's gonna be a hell of a time

04:00wow uh this person said i once thought the lead singer of hansen was a girl not good

04:08that's an honest mistake right no

04:12no it's a big deal yeah yeah it's fine i can't remember hansen she's the prettiest this chick is hot

04:21this is the one here that he thought that's gotta be her yeah that's gotta be her that's gotta be her

04:29the lady of his dreams he's gorgeous oh that's oh that's really that's really bad guys i messed up

04:36this afternoon and confused myself sexually my god my god that chick from hansen's pretty hot

04:45don't you think yeah i can't even imagine no that's how you find out that you go to your

04:55buddies you're like guys i that chick from hansen what do you mean the chick from hansen

05:02is the lead singer it's so hot that chick is sweet it's three brothers

05:08he's talking about three brothers there's gotta be some kind of stuff there's a girl she's no

05:14the girl singer have a feminine look to him but there's three brothers

05:19so you love that's why they're called hansen they're the hansen brother yeah you love one of those

05:25and you think oh i did unspeakable things to myself i did all the things

05:31all the things

05:33there's no taking it back i did all the things you're on your own journey there fellow

05:40this girl is the one you did it to yeah that's your cute hot right that's uh that's a fellow

05:49fella there's no way that's a fella they're all fellas that's not a fella they're all fellas

05:56see that's a fella yeah that's your love the ugly guy's a fella but then that's his sister

06:03no sister's there trio of broach you got some questions you gotta answer for yourself

06:11i'll be honest i paused a video right here

06:15salada you're gonna be going through a strange journey

06:19you might want to talk to the counselor probably probably a smart idea you're mixed up

06:27that's his chick playing the keys that's not that's not that's a fella that's a man

06:31that's a that's a boy

06:33times are times are tough no i'm just gonna i'm gonna let you have today i'm gonna take

06:40my leg out and i'm gonna head home i understand i just you got some stuff to work through

06:46you really got thanks bud i'll be here for you on the other side no matter what you decide

06:53but uh you gotta figure that out it's no time probably should uh cancel my uh

07:00handsome fan club yeah you gotta get out of that that's uh you gotta put take those posters down

07:06i was always questioning those i was always questioning those i didn't know but you're my

07:11friend why did i put them on my ceiling you know i kind of put two and two together but i just didn't

07:16want to say anything i let you come out in your own time oh man you're sure yeah a hundred percent

07:25one thousand percent oh my god that's a dude that's a dude

07:30talk to you later then yep see you

07:36see you bud

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