A Baby's Perspective

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a fast food restaurant offering a promotion linked to a delivery service and it reminds Andy of a crazy experience he had with a delivery driver who had a baby with him.

Transcript

00:00burger king has introduced something for your dog they're doing a flame grilled bone

00:10it's called the dog purr that's a spin on the words dog and whopper okay all right it's flame

00:17grilled whopper flavored biscuit bone that's made just for dogs it's a real bone i know i think it's

00:26like a like one of those made bone like a milk bone just a milk bone yeah you have to order a whopper

00:33via door dash and if you do you can pick up one of the grilled dog bones that way i think it should

00:41have been free and it should just be if you were crazy enough to bring your dog into a burger king

00:46or to the drive-thru they should just give your dog because i will say this you kind of win me over a

00:53little bit when you do that when you do something like that making me like oh i gotta buy something

00:57and then i gotta go through door dash which i'm never gonna do in my whole entire life yeah does

01:02it actually get to you warm has anyone done this like oh yeah i've done it i've had luck with any

01:09of those things i've had luck but i don't know if i'll really do it much more so i had one service i

01:14forget which one it was show up and there was a baby there was a baby just stopped when i went

01:22outside to pick it up i was like well that's a baby right what disgusting like the person had

01:26their baby in the car as they were doing food yeah and it was like the baby was in its dumb baby seat

01:30and then it was like my food was right beside it so who knows what it did do it oh man and i was

01:38just like and then he had his like weird mom in the passenger seat but the whole family delivers food

01:43house dude i was like the new family business i was like what did you guys do to my stuff

01:48probably picked picked at it gave the baby some of those fries that's what i'm thinking i'm like i

01:55know that baby got some of my fries yeah yeah i'm like look at that baby quiet you have had bad luck

02:01that's nuts dude it rolled up and i didn't even make eye contact with the driver first because i was

02:05outside smoking i made eye contact with that goddamn baby she's kind of frying her hand yeah i was like

02:12baby is that one of my potatoes yep that's a weird tale andy yeah i'd be i've never done any of those

02:20i gave him one star yeah one star that's it dude my driver showed up with one shoe

02:26oh my god what is happening only had one shoe was it super eats or was it another service no it was

02:33the one that came out first oh i couldn't believe that baby was beside my food yeah that's not right

02:40terrifying you're goddamn right it's not right baby's feet are touching it

02:45all the horrible things i think i threw most of it away because i kept thinking about it

02:51i was like i'm pretty sure one of my onion rings was in its hair

02:54i was using it as a teething ring yeah oh god this one's moist it's funny because it really never

03:02happens like a baby's with your food and during the delivery process never only you would have

03:07and you're so anti-baby if it was a world where that happened a lot like i'd always be like

03:14can you uh also at the end of my order can you um make sure no babies are in there

03:19oh we can't guarantee that sir listen i'm gonna need extra dressing for the salad uh

03:27two sets of silverware okay and uh can you keep my food baby free

03:32i want it near no babies on the i'm sorry sir every one of our drivers is equipped with a baby

03:39god damn it all right we'll cancel the order how old was the baby i don't know between the

03:46and he won't know it's like eight months to one and a half years

03:50yeah so still in a seat and not maybe not talking it had full legs and stuff

03:57fully grown legs but not talking yeah but no talking right

04:03it had hair growth yeah like had some hair had full arms

04:08i mean it was a full baby yeah

04:11all of its parts he's talking like a baby's like a tadpole

04:16like the tail was gone the tail was gone and headlays

04:21somewhere between three months and five years i couldn't really peg it

04:25yeah there was some baby in at the grocery store yesterday that i could hear

04:28i was at the far end of a giant store and i heard this kid sounding like it was going through the

04:34william wallace treatment at the end of graveyard yeah the whole time man i couldn't escape it like i'm

04:40like it's like

04:41jesus lord like a young roger daltry

04:48from the who

04:51baby don't you just see the baby run across

04:55slide on its knees

04:57baby's putting on a rock show

05:03baby burnt some drums

05:05got a set of drums on fire

05:09lighting uh lighting a guitar on fire

05:17that's a kick-ass baby you got there

05:20that thing wails

05:22oh yeah yeah you're gonna miss it

05:27you guys want to go see

05:32what is going on at this time

05:33the baby who

05:34the baby who

05:36just gonna get some

05:39some plums and some bananas here

05:42oh here's the baby

05:44oh look there's the baby

05:45jesus shut that kid up

05:50it was crazy man

05:55i was like

05:56that baby really let him have it you know

05:59like what emotion is that

06:02what is it so pissed about

06:04what do babies get so pissed about

06:05like if i couldn't talk to you guys right now and i was just like you guys were like what's the matter andy i'm like

06:19your legs are all out of control

06:24like you're just

06:25it's a nightmare

06:28you're just a baby

06:30i got no neck strength

06:31oh we gotta lift andy right

06:35we gotta lift andy right

06:36you're in a grocery store

06:38you're in a grocery store

06:40life sucks

06:41i'm in like a cart

06:42yeah you're in a cart

06:43hold on his head's real soft at the top

06:45yeah

06:46that's a nightmare being a baby

06:53i never even

06:53eight layers of clothing on you're sweating to death

06:55i never even thought about it from the baby's perspective

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