Peep Show: Time Travelers Carry Briefcases?

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Florida who broke into someone's home claiming to be a time traveler and that he needed to save their baby from a future event.

Transcript

00:00Man, Florida's effed up.

00:10Police in Ocala, Florida say that Daniel Dinkins believes he's a time traveler.

00:17I believe him.

00:19How many people in Florida think they're time travelers?

00:2317%.

00:243%.

00:253%.

00:25At least.

00:26Dinkins was arrested and charged with burglary after breaking into a home.

00:32I guess he threw a brick through a window of the house.

00:36Here's the weird part.

00:38I'm not sure how I would react to this.

00:41He said, I'm from the future.

00:45Yes.

00:47There's a baby sleeping in that room that I need to save from a future event.

00:54So if I did have a baby sleeping in that room?

00:58You don't, though.

00:59I know.

01:00But if I did, and they don't make that clear, wouldn't you be like, oh.

01:06I'd have to size him up, I think.

01:07Wouldn't you be like, what?

01:09Does he look like a homeless man?

01:11Do you think he's a homeless man?

01:11A time traveler that knows about your baby?

01:13No, I shoot him right in the head.

01:14He's a stalker.

01:15That's scary.

01:16Wouldn't I feel horrible if something did happen to my baby?

01:20Well.

01:20I think you can rest easy because his last name's Dinkins.

01:22I think at the Time Corps.

01:24Yeah.

01:24The Time Corps has their meeting, and they're going, they're like, you know, officer this,

01:28officer that.

01:29Where's Officer Dinkins?

01:30He got arrested.

01:31We can't send Dinkins.

01:33Yeah, we can't send Dinkins.

01:34Never should have named your baby John Connor.

01:36Exactly.

01:37Um, no.

01:40No, Dave, you don't think anything of that.

01:41I don't think so.

01:42You think, oh my God, psychopaths stalking me.

01:45No, I think it would get in.

01:46If I did have a sleeping baby in that room, I'm like, well, how did he know?

01:50And there are no time travelers.

01:52I'm not like I'm going to give him my baby, but I'm just saying maybe that I like.

01:55Come on in.

01:56You know how you know there's not a time traveler because AI is going to kill us all.

02:01So you know there's no time travelers, guys.

02:04Yeah.

02:05Anyway, unless they've sent their own.

02:08Well.

02:09Okay.

02:10All right.

02:10Don't trust it.

02:12That's exactly the Terminator movie.

02:14He did take a little dip in their pool, too.

02:16Oh, boy.

02:17You know.

02:18Got to freshen up.

02:18Got to save your baby.

02:19As soon as I take a little swim.

02:24Oh, no.

02:24Yeah, here's the dude.

02:25You can check him out at DaveAndJunkTheFreak.com.

02:27I'd be so mad because I'd be like, no, like we still go bald in the future?

02:31We get time travel, but yet you're still, your hair's still thin?

02:35I can't stop you time travel, but you can't stop hair loss.

02:38Oh, well, come on.

02:39If you can time travel.

02:41If we're figuring out time travel, you have to know that the only way we decided to do

02:47that is because we fixed boners.

02:50We fixed hair loss.

02:53I just like the idea of the captain of the time course sitting outside his jail cell,

02:56just like you had to go for a swim, didn't you?

02:59You know I did.

03:00You were just supposed to save that baby.

03:02I know you think I'm not.

03:03You know we don't have water in the future.

03:04But I do think it would, it would nag at me.

03:08Like, it's like, you know, finding, they say, do you, would you like to know when you're

03:12going to die?

03:13Right?

03:13That always be in your head.

03:15It's that wonder of like, oh God, is my baby going to be okay?

03:19Did that guy really know?

03:20Was he psychic that, you know?

03:22Right.

03:23I know that.

03:23When you look at that guy, it's okay.

03:26I don't think he's a time traveler as much as he gets into mushrooms.

03:29Yeah.

03:32I guess.

03:33Again, I wouldn't hand him my baby.

03:34He also dove right in your pool.

03:35He did.

03:35True.

03:36True, yeah.

03:37There was some.

03:38That'd be upsetting.

03:39Like, if it seemed serious, like if he sat down and had a briefcase and like some documents.

03:44A briefcase makes you serious.

03:46That's all it takes.

03:48If you come to Chuck's house with a briefcase and say you're a time traveler, he is letting

03:52you right in.

03:53Who's carrying around a briefcase?

03:55The official documents from the time corps.

03:57No one carries a briefcase.

04:01Chuck's house, just bring a briefcase.

04:02If he has a futuristic briefcase with documents that back it up, then I'm like, he tells me

04:11the score of the basketball game that night.

04:14Let me see your official time traveler documents.

04:16He tells me the score of the basketball game.

04:19You'd have to.

04:19You'd be here until this game is over.

04:20I mean, and then we're going to make a lot of money.

04:23And then we know how to scam Chuck now.

04:26I'm just saying he'd have to have something official.

04:32Official.

04:33He would.

04:34Time travelers have a briefcase.

04:36Most of them.

04:37They do.

04:38That's where they keep their documents.

04:39That's they keep the stuff they're bringing back.

04:41I'm trying to think if the guy from Bill and Ted's who came back.

04:44He did not.

04:45He did not have it.

04:46No, I don't believe.

04:47But that's just a movie.

04:48We're talking real life.

04:49We're talking real life.

04:50You're right.

04:51You're right, Andy.

04:53I also like how close Dave was to handing over baby Zane.

04:56But if the guy goes in his pool, he's going to drown him.

04:58Yeah.

04:58Well, yeah.

05:00Priorities, right?

05:01Priorities.

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