- anteayer
Max is contacted by a member of the Russian swim team who has a list of KAOS agents and wants to use the list to defect. Unfortunately, Max can't remember her name, so he has to go undercover as a swimming trainer to discover the defector. 99 and the Chief join him as they attempt to ferret out the potential defector. Alice Ghostley guest stars as one of the members of the Russian contingent.
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TVTranscripción
00:00The End
00:30Hello? This is Maxwell Smart, secret agent 86 of Control.
00:52I was in love with your agent 81 who was killed.
00:56He told me if anything happens to him, I was to contact you.
01:00I have names of enemy agents.
01:02Hold on just a second.
01:13All right, go ahead.
01:15I was told to give you names in person.
01:17I am with swimming team, which is meeting your American girls in Washington.
01:21Where can I contact you?
01:22We will be training at the International Sports Club.
01:26Well, how will I recognize you?
01:27I am five feet five, have brown hair.
01:30Go on.
01:30I'm recording every word.
01:39Well, I may have missed one or two.
01:42Do you mind starting from the beginning?
01:44I give you my name.
01:45You get pencil.
01:46That's all right.
01:47I have a fantastic memory.
01:48They're in Alenya Sarganyakov.
01:51I better get a pencil.
01:52No.
01:53No.
02:10No.
02:12Two draws and only one shot left.
02:42Two draws and only one shot left.
02:49Two draws and only one shot left.
02:56Two draws and only one shot left.
03:03Two draws and only one shot left.
03:15Hello?
03:16I hear a gunshot.
03:18You're dead?
03:19No, I'm all right.
03:20I was just looking for a pencil.
03:22I couldn't find one.
03:23You better just give me your name.
03:25Verna Lenya Zakonyakov.
03:27I'm sorry.
03:28I can't make you out.
03:29What is your last name?
03:30Zakonyakov.
03:31T-S-G-A-N.
03:33T-S-J-E-A-N?
03:36Someone's coming.
03:37I will contact you at International Sports Club.
03:47International Sports Club.
03:49I better write that down.
05:34Whoever it is, I can't wait to contact her.
05:37Max, didn't you say the girl gave you her name when you spoke to her on the phone?
05:40Yes, it was one of those long foreign names, but I'm sure I'll recognize it as soon as I hear it.
05:44I can register the girls using my cover identity as an official of the swimming meet.
05:48Now, as soon as you recognize the name, you let me know.
05:51Right, Chief.
05:51Maybe the girl will try to signal you, Max.
05:58I certainly hope so.
06:00Well, that was good, but a spon must look like a spon, not a vulture.
06:08We will work on it too much.
06:10Uh, I'm here to register the girls.
06:14They already have been officially registered.
06:17Haven't you ever heard of an official, official registration?
06:22No.
06:22Well, that's what we're here for.
06:27Give him your names.
06:29Your names, please.
06:29All right, girls, go.
06:49Max, do you know which one it is?
06:50Well, I'm not sure, 99, but I've got it narrowed down to two possibles.
06:55And two maybes.
06:57Looks at that other man.
06:59You're always suspicious, Greco.
07:01There's something strange going on here.
07:03I'm going to check on it.
07:07Who are you?
07:08Uh, we're with the American team.
07:10We're the chaperone and the trainer.
07:11I'm the trainer.
07:13You don't look like a trainer to me.
07:16Is that so?
07:17Well, I happen to be an expert.
07:19Why, I once trained a girl to swim across the English Channel four times.
07:22Would you believe it?
07:23Four times.
07:24I find that hard to believe.
07:26Would you believe three times across the Mississippi?
07:29I don't think so.
07:31How about twice around the bathtub?
07:38Once around the bathtub?
07:39Hello?
07:49I can't talk now.
07:51I'll leave a message with names of enemy agents at bottom of swimming pool.
07:56When the rapes on dormitory window are closed, you will know I have left it.
08:00Wait.
08:17No signal yet?
08:18No, nothing, Chief.
08:20I wish it would come now while the area is deserted.
08:22Everybody's at lunch.
08:23Maybe there's been a change of plans.
08:25Well, if she hasn't left the message, that means they must be watching her, Chief.
08:29Yes, you're right.
08:31Well, let's get some lunch.
08:32Oh, good idea, Chief.
08:33I'm stoned.
08:34Look, there's the signal now.
08:36Right.
08:37Now, she said she would leave the message in the pool.
08:39I better go change into my trunks, Chief.
08:41No, there's no time.
08:42Max, someone might come.
08:43The area is deserted now.
08:44Oh, well, I'll take my clothes off then.
08:47Max.
08:48It's all right, 99.
08:49The drapes are closed.
08:50Nobody can look.
08:51Will you get into that pool now?
09:02Boy, Chief, that water's cold.
09:04Now.
09:06Now?
09:07Right, Chief.
09:08Uh, what do you think, Chief?
09:20A half-gainer or a nice swan diet?
09:26Right, Chief.
09:27I, myself, am a little partial to a one-and-a-half twist with a double gainer because...
09:41Get in the pool!
09:42It's a fool!
10:12No, Chief, there is no note.
10:14Oh, maybe somebody closed the drapes accidentally.
10:18Sorry about that, Max.
10:20Well, that's all right, Chief.
10:22It wasn't a complete waste of time.
10:24This is a deposit bottle. I can get a nickel back on it.
10:33It's a good suggestion eating out here, Max.
10:35At least we can see if the girl tries to signal you again.
10:38Right, Chief.
10:41Chief, the food here is terrible.
10:43This sandwich tastes like I'm chewing on paper.
10:46Max, the message!
10:49I'm chewing on paper.
10:53Chief, it's the message.
10:55Unable to leave message in pool, the names of the enemy agents are...
10:59...or what?
11:00...in my stomach.
11:02I ate the rest of the message, Chief.
11:05I better go tell her I didn't get it.
11:07What are you gonna do, Max?
11:08Don't worry, I can handle it.
11:10Sorry about that, Chief.
11:17Pardon me, girls, but I've been expecting a message and I haven't received it yet.
11:22Now, in case I'm going when it comes, I'd like to leave my telephone number.
11:26Uh, does anyone here have a pencil?
11:31Never mind, I will take care of this.
11:37Exercise.
11:38Why was it you wanted to write down your telephone number?
11:45Was it for one of my girls?
11:47One of your girls?
11:48Well, don't be ridiculous.
11:49Of course not.
11:50Well, the reason that I wanted to write down my telephone number was for, uh...
11:54...was for you.
11:55For me?
11:56Why?
11:57Why?
11:58Yes.
11:59Well, uh...
12:00Well, because it's the law of nature.
12:02I mean, after all, you are a man and I'm a woman.
12:04I mean, uh...
12:06Uh...
12:07I understand.
12:08Did the defector get your message, Max?
12:29It's important.
12:30There's something more important than that, Chief.
12:32What?
12:33I'd like to make an official request to have my phone number changed.
12:38I told you there was something strange about him.
12:42He was trying to signal someone.
12:45It's time he had a...
12:48...accident.
12:54Chief, whoever our girl is, she must have understood me when I said I expected a message.
13:03...
13:10Sorry about that.
13:11I didn't note if it's loaded.
13:13Oh, that's all right.
13:19You know something, Chief?
13:21There's something about that man I don't trust.
13:24Chief, she's got to call. She's just got to call.
13:37Don't worry, Max, she will call.
13:41You're right, Chief.
13:42Hello?
13:43It's me.
13:44Good. I've been waiting for your call.
13:45Now, listen.
13:46I've got to have a list of those names.
13:48Don't worry. I'll protect you.
13:49Nothing will happen to you.
13:50All right.
13:51I'll meet you in area behind training pool in 15 minutes.
13:55Right.
13:57Well, that's it, Chief.
13:58What'd she say?
13:59She's gonna meet me in 15 minutes.
14:00Max, please be careful.
14:01You'll be out there alone.
14:03A walking target for a killer.
14:06And...
14:07...loving it.
14:08Is that you?
14:33You!
14:35What are you doing here?
14:36Who are you talking to?
14:37What's that piece of paper in your hand?
14:38Wait a minute, Greco.
14:39Don't ask me so many questions all at the same time.
14:42How do you expect me to answer them?
14:44All right.
14:45What are you doing here?
14:46Nothing.
14:47Who are you talking to?
14:48No one.
14:49What's that piece of paper in your hand?
14:50I don't know.
14:51See?
14:52Now, when you ask me the questions one at a time nicely, you get answers.
14:57So long, Greco.
14:58Just a minute.
14:59Give me that piece of paper.
15:04Give it to me.
15:07You're gonna have to kill me to get this note, Greco.
15:12And I'll kill you if it was only a suggestion.
15:22Can't you let a guy eat in peace?
15:26Greco?
15:27Greco!
15:34Sorry about that, Greco.
15:36Hope I wasn't on a line.
15:39Greco, what is it?
15:40I heard noises down here.
15:42One of our girls is meeting the trainer from the American team.
15:46She gave him a note.
15:49I think we should go back to the dormitory.
15:51I'll work them over.
15:52Find out which one it is.
15:54No.
15:55We need all of our girls for the swimming meet tomorrow.
15:58Until then, we won't let them out of our sight.
16:01And then when we get back to our own country, we will find out who it is and then take care of her.
16:06Come.
16:10You...
16:11You ate those names again?
16:13I had to eat them, Chief.
16:14Otherwise, Greco would have gotten them.
16:16Why, he tried to kill me.
16:18Imagine that.
16:20Chief, I've got to get those names.
16:22I'm going in there, find that girl, and get that list.
16:25I figure it'll take me about...
16:2710 minutes.
16:28But, Max, that's a dormitory full of women.
16:32Hmm.
16:34Better make that an hour and 10 minutes.
16:46What are you doing here?
16:47Shh.
16:48I'm walking in my sleep.
16:50You're frozen.
16:51With my clothes on.
16:52With my clothes on.
16:53Yes, well, I always walk in my sleep with my clothes on.
16:55You see, in case I wake up suddenly, I like to take in a late movie.
16:59As a matter of fact, I better get going because I hate to walk in on the middle of a picture.
17:03I know you're not walking in your sleep.
17:06Did you come to see one of my girls?
17:08Certainly not.
17:10Then, you must have come to see me, you dear, impetuous man.
17:16You wait for me to call?
17:18Sorry about that, but I...
17:19Where are you going?
17:20Where am I going?
17:21Yes.
17:22Well, I thought I'd go and get some flowers.
17:23You see, I hate to come visiting empty-handed.
17:26Thoughtful.
17:27But I do not need flowers.
17:28No flowers.
17:30Well, how about some candy?
17:32Or better yet, Chinese food.
17:33I know a wonderful restaurant.
17:35Oh, how nice.
17:36An intimate midnight snack.
17:38How long will it take you to get to a restaurant?
17:42Four days.
17:43It's in Shanghai.
17:44Shanghai?
17:45Would you believe Hong Kong?
17:46Well, wherever it is, it's a long trip and I really better get going.
17:50Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?
17:52Kiss you goodbye?
17:53Well, I'll kiss you goodbye when I get back from Shanghai.
17:56Now.
17:57Now.
17:58Yes.
17:59Well, okay, if you'll close your eyes.
18:01Why?
18:02Why?
18:03Because I'm shy.
18:04That's why.
18:06Kiss me.
18:07Kiss me.
18:08Kiss me.
18:09Kiss me.
18:10And what is going on here?
18:11What is this noise?
18:12Is he trying to kill you?
18:13No, he's trying to kiss me.
18:14You better come with me.
18:15I think you better come with me.
18:17If it's all the same to you, I'd rather go with them.
18:20Get him out of here.
18:25Sorry about that, girls.
18:28It wasn't your fault, 86.
18:29You did the best you could, Max.
18:32What really bothers me, Chief, is that that girl missed a golden opportunity.
18:36How?
18:37Well, I was standing right there in among all those girls.
18:40She could very easily have slipped the list of names into my pocket.
18:43Then I could be sitting here and reach into my pocket and come up with the list of names.
18:48What's that, Max?
18:49The list of names, Chief.
18:52Names.
18:53We have what we came for.
18:54Let's get out of here.
18:55Wait a minute, Chief.
18:57What about that girl?
18:58That brave and beautiful girl that tried to help us?
19:01If they find out about this, they'll kill her.
19:03But, Max.
19:04No, 99.
19:05They're my personal guarantee of safety.
19:07I gave her my promise that I protect her.
19:09That's it.
19:10I'm gonna wait until morning and then I'm going in there.
19:12Stop.
19:13Turn around.
19:14It's you.
19:15Yes, it's me.
19:16And you might as well know the truth.
19:17I'm from control.
19:18And one of your girls gave me a list of enemy agents and I'm here to take her out.
19:23You'd know you could be killed.
19:24I don't care.
19:25That doesn't make any difference.
19:26The important thing is that she risked her life to help me.
19:27And I gave her my word I'd protect her.
19:28And you don't go back on your word to a brave and beautiful girl.
19:29Take me.
19:30You?
19:31I am the brave and beautiful girl.
19:32You are?
19:33Well, how can I be sure of that?
19:34I mean, how do I know you're the one that gave me the list?
19:36Is your name Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
19:37No.
19:38I'm the brave and beautiful girl.
19:39You are?
19:40Well, how can I be sure of that?
19:41I mean, how do I know you're the one that gave me the list?
19:43Is your name Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
19:44No.
19:45No.
19:46No.
19:47No.
19:48No.
19:49No.
19:50No.
19:51No.
19:52No.
19:53No.
19:54No.
19:55No.
19:56No.
19:57No.
19:58No.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01No.
20:02No.
20:03No.
20:04No.
20:05Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
20:06No.
20:07Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
20:08No.
20:09Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
20:10No.
20:11Vanyalina Yaskanyakov?
20:12No.
20:13No.
20:14Well, that takes care of that, because the girl that I know has a name that sounds just
20:18like that.
20:19Vanyalina Yaskanyakov.
20:22That's what I was afraid of.
20:24Are you sure you want to go with me?
20:27Yes.
20:28Are you packed?
20:29No.
20:30No?
20:31Well, why don't you go in and pack, and I'll come back for you, say, in a couple of weeks.
20:34No.
20:35We'd better go now.
20:36Greco is sure to find out what I've done.
20:38Greco has already found out what you have done.
20:41Greco has already found out what you have...
20:45Drop the gun, Werner.
20:49Now I'm going to take care of both of you.
20:52You're looking for trouble, Greco.
20:54And who's going to give it to me?
20:55Greco?
20:56And who's going to give it to me?
20:57Greco!
20:58Wait a minute.
20:59There are guards on the gate.
21:00Well, how about the back?
21:01No, no.
21:02Guards there too.
21:03This way.
21:04There's Greco!
21:05Come!
21:06Wait a minute.
21:07Now either I'm going to run and hide or I'm going to stand and fight.
21:09He's got a machine gun.
21:10Run and hide.
21:11Listen.
21:12You stay right here.
21:13I'm going to get up on the high board where he can't see me.
21:16Now when he comes to you, I'll jump him.
21:17I'm going to run and hide.
21:18I'm going to run and hide or I'm going to stand and fight.
21:19He's got a machine gun.
21:20I'm going to run and hide.
21:21Listen.
21:22You stay right here.
21:23I'm going to get up on the high board where he can't see me.
21:24Now when he comes to you, I'll jump him.
21:25Where is he?
21:26Greco!
21:29Watch out he's on the high board.
21:31He's on the high board.
21:32Now when he comes to you, I'll jump him.
21:46Where is he?
21:48Greco, watch out! He's on the high board!
22:02Here, keep your eye on her.
22:08Where are you going?
22:10To get smart.
22:12His service is killing him.
22:32He's here!
22:37AHH!
23:02Yeah, Mr. Smart
23:21Let that be a lesson to you, Greco
23:28Never look a gift horse in the mouth
23:32Well, Chief, we're all set to go
23:47I'll go get Myrna
23:48It's Verna, Max
23:49Uh, Verna, right
23:50That's the trouble with this whole assignment, Max
23:52Of names of the Iron Curtain girls all sounded alike
23:54You ready, Max?
23:55Uh, just a minute, 99
23:57I'd like to wish the American girls good luck on the swimming meet
24:00Chief, do you have the registration list?
24:01Yeah
24:02Well, at least we won't have any trouble with these good old American names
24:06Bobby Jean Harper
24:09Betty June Parker
24:11Bonnie Joan Booker
24:14And Bonnie Jane Baker
24:17Good night, pretty nice to see you guys
24:30Good night, everybody
24:35Good night, everybody
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