- 2 days ago
Superstar Season 1 Episode 5
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Tamarismo
00:14Tamarismo really came as a blessing for all of its protagonists.
00:18A true gift in form of instant recognition.
00:22But few understood how to enjoy it as much as Tony Heniel.
00:26Tony Heniel knew better than anyone how fleeting fame could actually be.
00:31For some today, Tony Heniel is simply a ghost of that time.
00:36Another vampire who tried to take advantage of Tamar's success even if it was through insults and defamation.
00:45But Tony Heniel is so much more.
00:47Rumor has it that he met Michael Jackson himself.
00:51And even cooked him a plate of pasta in tomato sauce.
00:56If you happen to meet him one night, and that night is enchanted enough, he'll tell you the truth.
01:03The whole truth.
01:05The End
01:14The End
01:16Ah, Paco, give me a break, the Satan thing. The man was in the catatonic trance.
01:25Bullshit. Bullshit.
01:26One of those where the cramp hits was right there, and the guy was all stiff and he stood up very low.
01:33What did you do after?
01:35What do you think he was gonna do, Paco? Run to the coffee shop next door and get an Irish coffee?
01:37Tony, this is not what we talked about. This is not what we talked about.
01:38This is not what we talked about. This is not what we talked about.
01:40Because I was drowning with Maria Canturo's nephew. We were drowning.
01:43What are you boycotting the interview?
01:44And he drowned.
01:45And I got up in the middle of the night.
01:46Why didn't you tell him that really funny story of yours about Michael Jackson?
01:49No, no, no.
01:50About you making him a plate of pasta?
01:51I don't want to talk about that, Paquita.
01:52Ruben, play the song, Ruben.
01:53What am I supposed to sing, Paco?
01:54Tell it.
01:55I don't get you, Tony. I don't get you. You've spent half your life blabbing about it to anyone you cross paths with, and now you don't want to talk.
02:05What's wrong?
02:06I'll tell you the story. Tony says that one time the Jackson Five came to Madrid and they left the youngest boy in his care.
02:12I don't know.
02:14He's a guy.
02:15He's a guy.
02:16He's a guy.
02:17He's a guy.
02:18He's a guy.
02:19He's a guy.
02:20He's a guy.
02:21With tuna, too.
02:22With tuna, Jesus Christ.
02:23What about you?
02:24What's your story?
02:25You're always telling the same story, Paco, about how you were kidnapped in Altea and they had ties up and blah, blah, blah.
02:32Because it's true.
02:33It's sad.
02:34I'll tell you.
02:35It's really sad that my own friends don't believe me.
02:36It's a real shame, Paco, to have to talk about these things all the time.
02:39There are more important things to talk about, for example, that they're robbing us.
02:42Come on.
02:43And who are you referring to?
02:44Who are you referring to?
02:45The politicians?
02:46Oh, yeah.
02:47Yes, yes, yes.
02:48Because if you want to talk about stealing, we'll be here for a while.
02:52A while.
02:53Indeed, exactly.
02:54A long while.
02:55They've been stealing from us a long while.
02:56Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to apologize.
02:57They've been stealing since the Aznar government.
02:59No.
03:00There were others.
03:01There were others.
03:02I'll have you know, I was a fan of Aznar government.
03:03And what about Manuela Carmela, huh?
03:05And what about Mr. Ponytail?
03:06What about him?
03:07They sure have.
03:08They sure have.
03:09They haven't robbed anyone.
03:10They haven't robbed anyone.
03:11And for the record, I'm not a Podemos fan, okay?
03:13I am a social democrat.
03:15Tony, who are you kidding?
03:16You are a communist.
03:17No, no, no.
03:18Come on, Tony.
03:19You live like a king.
03:20You live like a king.
03:21You live like a king.
03:22Come on.
03:23Come on.
03:24Okay, sure.
03:25What about the radical left, huh?
03:26Radical?
03:27The puppeteers talking to kids about ETA.
03:28What about...
03:29Go ahead.
03:30Come on, sit.
03:31Just a bunch of...
03:32Just a bunch of cowards.
03:33Cowards?
03:34Wait, wait.
03:35Your father was a puppeteer.
03:36Isn't that right?
03:37No.
03:38No.
03:39Yeah, I've seen you puppeteering with them.
03:40You better not.
03:41You better not.
03:43Don't go there.
03:44Don't go there or I'll pull the plug and he'll be out of here.
03:46Don't go there.
03:47Don't go there.
03:48But did he or did he not used to do that?
03:49Yes, yes.
03:50But he never defended the ETA.
03:51Okay.
03:52He never defended ETA.
03:53You better be careful with the ETA.
03:54What?
03:55What do you mean not talking about ETA?
03:56Wait till the poor devil comes from anywhere who have been stealing.
03:59All of you have been lying in your pocket.
04:01There's more than a geographical area.
04:03Enough.
04:04Enough.
04:05This is enough.
04:06Enough.
04:07The TV.
04:08The TV.
04:09Ruben.
04:10Ruben.
04:11Hey.
04:12Tony, can you?
04:13I can't.
04:14I will never talk to him again.
04:15Screw this.
04:16I'm done with this.
04:17My parents are sacred.
04:19Play the song.
04:20And they have much more distancy than his family.
04:23Okay.
04:24I won't put up with him.
04:25I won't put up with him coming on my show and mocking you.
04:28No.
04:29I can't do it.
04:30I can't do it.
04:31I can't do it.
04:32It's a lot more than a geographical area.
04:35No, hold it.
04:36Drugs.
04:37The computer.
04:38I took it back to him.
04:39There's a value here.
04:40I see him.
04:41You can see him?
04:42This is all money.
04:45I'll never see him again.
04:46I can't do it.
04:48Get him.
04:49I know.
04:50This over here.
04:51Nope.
04:52No.
04:53It's a story.
04:54There it is.
04:55Not really.
04:56Get him.
04:57Get him.
04:58Get him.
04:59En esta tierra de mi sana, y que yo solo puedo educar.
05:07España, cariño, cuanto te quiero, cuanto te echo de menos.
05:16Y espero con ansia muy pronto volver a verte yo.
05:22Hello, you have reached.
05:24Paco Porras, if you're telling me to leave me alone, please leave your message after the tone.
05:29Salud.
05:59Oh, my God.
06:29Ah, careful. Not the nipple. I've got an injury. I've been pretty naughty.
06:37Uh-oh. Paco? Tony?
06:41Let this be the last time I call you and you don't pick up.
06:44I'm not picking up because I have nothing to say to you. Just get lost.
06:47What's it got here and you're kicking me out already, huh?
06:50I've been calling you for months, Paco, okay?
06:52I've been looking for you all over and couldn't find you anywhere.
06:55Tony, please leave. No, not you.
06:57Who fucked this shit? But...
06:59What are you doing?
07:03Why won't you answer the phone?
07:05I won't answer the phone because whenever we go out, I get as drunk as a skunk and I'm too old for that.
07:10Well, that's not my fault.
07:11No? Then who's is it?
07:13Well, Madrid's. Because there's a bar in every corner.
07:15Yeah, it does have a few.
07:17And museums too and theaters. Aren't there theaters in Madrid?
07:19The theaters for when...
07:20For when we're old bitches. God, this is tight. Fuck.
07:23Tony.
07:24What?
07:25We are old bitches.
07:27Speak for yourself. I made you like a fine wine.
07:30Like a fine wine?
07:31When's the last time you looked in the mirror?
07:32Well, for? Huh? Why?
07:35I can see myself reflected in the eyes of men who lust after me.
07:38Where'd you get that from?
07:41From nowhere. I came up with it just now.
07:44Because not only do I have the body, but I have the talent, you see?
07:46My blood aches and it flows through my artistic veins.
07:48The body, you say? But you look like a croquette.
07:51Huh? Could that be why everyone seems to like me then?
07:54Red wine, white wine.
07:55Red wine, red wine.
07:57Wine, just like the night.
07:59Red wine, like the night.
08:01Paco.
08:09What?
08:10I actually wanted to say I'm sorry.
08:12Mm-hmm.
08:13I know that I...
08:14It was a bit below the belt.
08:16I shouldn't have brought up your family.
08:18It was a low blow. Didn't appreciate it. It was fucked up.
08:20Yeah, yeah. I know, I know.
08:22That's why I was trying to reach you this whole time, Paco, to apologize to you.
08:26Well, screw you. Apology not accepted.
08:29Two glasses of red, darkest the night.
08:31Thanks.
08:33It'll be 10 euros.
08:34Put it on his tab.
08:35Fuck's sake.
08:36Okay.
08:38Cough it up and shut your mouth, you rat.
08:40Look at that.
08:41Look who's on TV.
08:44What? Who?
08:45Look at the TV.
08:46Wait, wait. Hang on.
08:48Here's what I think.
08:49What I think is that she spent the whole time obsessing over her mother and her family.
08:54Shut the bitch.
08:55Hey, kid.
08:56You mind turning that up?
08:57Of course.
08:58Please, appreciate it.
08:59Watch the sea on TV.
09:00The rain has been officially kicked out of survivors.
09:03I wanted to take advantage of this moment to thank all of the viewers who have been supporting
09:10me from home.
09:11It's time for me now to, um, to leave the island, to climb into that helicopter and return to
09:18Madrid, to, to keep making music.
09:22And I also wanted to send a big, big kiss to my mama.
09:27And I want her to know that I have missed her very much while I've been here.
09:31Well, that's it.
09:32That's the end of Survivors for Nurena.
09:34Meaning she'll get to the Madrid Parajas Otojo Suarez Airport early in the morning tomorrow.
09:38And our colleagues will be there to greet her and hear her first comments.
09:49Bring it in, brother.
09:50Come on, brother.
10:20Tony, what if we do follow your plan and go throw eggs at her?
10:35Where do you get them? Frozen section or the normal one?
10:38Oh, darling, you'd buy frozen eggs. How can eggs be frozen, Paco?
10:41Well, I don't know, Tony. I don't know.
10:43What I do when I buy stuff is I just grab package products.
10:46In a package, in a package, because whenever I touch fresh stuff with my hands,
10:50then my head starts projecting the future. That's very tiring.
10:53You don't get it because you don't have any powers.
10:55Isn't it just vegetables that do that, huh?
10:56You know, like potatoes and the cabbage. Vegetables were your thing.
11:00But because chickens are herbivores, something stays in the egg.
11:03Yes, there's something left. So when I touch an egg, I see the future.
11:06But I see it in black and white and a much lower volume.
11:08That's what I have to tell you.
11:09Come on, you're the herbivore.
11:10Leave me alone. Shut up already.
11:12Where you going with that flag?
11:14I'm not allowed to carry a flag now, huh?
11:16You want to take my ID as well? You want to take my ID?
11:17Listen, if we show up at the airport with a flag,
11:19it'll seem like we're up to something else, Paco.
11:21What'll it seem like, huh? What?
11:22We're doing something else.
11:23It's not going to seem like anything.
11:24The place is going to be packed, Paco. It'll be full of cameras.
11:26It'll seem like what? It'll seem like what?
11:28They're not going to think anything.
11:29I don't know, man.
11:30Your problem is you're a hypocrite.
11:31What? A hypocrite?
11:31You're always singing about how much you love Spain.
11:33And, oh, I love you so.
11:34And the truth is, the real truth is Spain.
11:36I don't give a shit about you.
11:38That's why you're a hypocrite.
11:39Do you know who I vote for?
11:40What do you know about who I vote for?
11:41What do you know about who I vote for?
11:42Well, do they sell eggs here or not?
11:43Here. The only eggs they sell here are gummy eggs.
11:46Gummy eggs, Paco. Want them?
11:48No. And if there aren't any eggs, I don't want the flag either.
11:51I'm not taking this either, okay?
11:58Shame that you don't sell eggs.
12:01Yeah. Sorry, sir.
12:07You know who you look like?
12:09Who? What?
12:09Like the Home Alone kid.
12:11What? What is that?
12:11Look, put your hands like this and scream.
12:13Like this?
12:14That's it. Home Alone.
12:15Your problem is you know nothing about movies.
12:17You...
12:17What the hell?
12:24Tony!
12:25Hello!
12:28He's taking off his wig.
12:29What are you doing here?
12:30The whole queen looks like a ball sack.
12:32Didn't he move back home, though?
12:34Tony? Leonardo, is that you?
12:35Of course it's me. Who else?
12:37What are you doing here?
12:38I came to Madrid for a few days for some paperwork.
12:41Hey, you mind grabbing my hat?
12:43I dropped it.
12:44Yeah, sure.
12:44Wait, I'm coming down.
12:46When did we last see him?
12:47I don't know, like six or seven years more or less.
12:49Who knows?
12:50Time's been rough on him.
12:51He looks very different.
12:52Hello?
12:55Hello! Look at this guy.
12:56He's blander than an unsalted egg.
12:58Some things don't change, am I right?
13:00Give me a hug, man.
13:01Come on!
13:01Yeah, bring it in!
13:03Tony.
13:04Hey, Paco.
13:04Leonardo!
13:05It's been too long.
13:05How are you?
13:07Well, here, man.
13:08Come on.
13:08There you go.
13:09Thanks. So, what are you up to?
13:10Busy night?
13:11We were having dinner with friends.
13:12Oh.
13:13Tons of sausage.
13:13I'm sorry.
13:17What's so funny, man?
13:20Come on.
13:20Join us, buddy.
13:21No, I can't.
13:22Tomorrow I gotta go to the Songwriters Association with my songs and my stuff.
13:25I really can't.
13:26Songwriters Association?
13:26I can't, Tony.
13:27I said no.
13:28I gotta stop by the print shop.
13:29Please, man.
13:30There's some important matters.
13:31Leonardo, we kicked her off the island.
13:31She's the first person.
13:33The first person.
13:35Who have they kicked off?
13:38To be honest, I think it's outrageous, Paco.
13:41Well, I think that if we do that, it'll be...
13:43Epic.
13:44Well, count me out, Tony.
13:46What's the matter?
13:46Are you going to therapy or has the country ever rid you of all your trauma?
13:49What trauma?
13:51Come on, Leo.
13:52Come on.
13:52We've known each other forever, man.
13:54Who are you pretending for, huh?
13:55Listen, I'm not trying to fool anyone, Tony, but I've worked through some stuff.
13:58And I left Madrid because I want to find peace once and for all.
14:01Don't tell me that you're not the teeniest, tiniest bit resentful.
14:04Well, of course I somewhat resent Tamara.
14:06I mean, a lot went down, but I'm also fond of her and she's been...
14:09She's not fond of you, okay?
14:10She's not fond of you.
14:12For fuck's sake, you gave her the very song that she got filthy rich off of.
14:15You're right about that.
14:16And after that, did she ever ask you to write her another one, man?
14:19Never ask me for another one.
14:20No, right, no.
14:21And you know why?
14:22Huh?
14:23Why?
14:23Because you actually disgust her so much, she'd take poverty and misery over having to see your sad, gutter-wrapped face.
14:30Let's be honest, you fairy.
14:31But she's made a name for herself, and you've got to hand that to her, Tony.
14:34Because she's a dirty fucking snake.
14:37A leecho has sucked the blood of everyone who's crossed her path to keep herself alive.
14:41She's a witch.
14:42That's what she is.
14:43And to get to where she is, she left a trail of corpses in her path.
14:47And those corpses, those corpses are us.
14:51Are you blind, Leo?
14:51Jesus, Tony, give me a minute.
14:53I can't get the printer to work.
14:54I can't do anything.
14:55I can't focus.
14:56And what's your deal with Tamara?
14:57I don't understand what she's done to you.
14:58Do you mean, do you mean to say that you're just going to blatantly ignore the signs of the magic of destiny, huh?
15:09What, you think that everything that's happened tonight is a coincidence?
15:13No, goddammit, no.
15:15Can't you see it was destiny that brought us here together?
15:19Tonight, time has flowed.
15:21Come on, this is crazy stuff.
15:22It's cosmic.
15:23Let's get our mustache out.
15:30Take your shit out of your face and then take you to the curb.
15:33How cool are you, Mr. McFarland?
15:35I mean, it's just a moment.
15:37Look, look, look, why, why are you touching the paper?
15:41Why are you touching that?
15:42I didn't, huh?
15:43Now what are you doing?
15:44You're paying for that.
15:46Don't look for my guns at home.
15:47Hey, now, no one has to do with you.
15:48Just give me a sec.
15:53All right, come on, let's get out of here.
15:56No, I can't leave yet.
15:57There's still some songs I need to print.
16:00Hey, do you think they can see us through the cameras, huh?
16:02Probably.
16:03Hello?
16:05What was that, that football?
16:06We are nudists and footballers.
16:09My friend Bagel likes to side.
16:13Well, we're a bit old now to be doing futbolistas, not turistas.
16:17They're not going to remember that.
16:18How'd it go?
16:18My friend Bagel likes to side.
16:20We are nudists and footballers.
16:21What's that, man?
16:21And if it isn't Tony, I need you.
16:23You scared me.
16:23Oh, my God.
16:24What are you doing here?
16:26And you're still yelling that shit.
16:28Well, well, well, kid.
16:30Damn, you packed on some pounds, haven't you?
16:31Well, you're one to talk with your stupid fish face.
16:33Like seeing a ghost.
16:34I know, right?
16:35Wait, did Tony call you?
16:37No, no, no.
16:37I never called anyone.
16:39I just went out for a nighttime stroll.
16:41What's the matter?
16:42You're not glad to see me?
16:43Oh, Leonardo, wow, I didn't recognize you.
16:45Miguel.
16:46It's been so long.
16:47Too long, really.
16:47I didn't even recognize you, man.
16:49Well, how could you, now that I'm bald?
16:50Oh, yeah, finally.
16:51About time.
16:52Finally, eh?
16:53Well, you know, it's a little embarrassing, to be honest, but it is what it is.
16:56Hey, so, you still songwriting?
16:57Yeah, actually, I'm printing some songs I've been working on in Badajoz, so, yeah.
17:01Well, you know what?
17:01It suits you.
17:02You remind me of, what was the name of the girl who was singing, who tore up the photo of
17:07the Pope?
17:08Oh, oh, I know.
17:09Sinead O'Connor.
17:09Yeah, yeah, that's her.
17:10Yeah, oh, my God.
17:12I have been trying to figure it out all night.
17:14Sinead O'Connor.
17:15The girl that sings Reggae.
17:16What?
17:16What?
17:16Sinead O'Connor?
17:17Sinead O'Connor sang Reggae music?
17:19Don't be stupid.
17:20She converted to Islam.
17:21Yeah.
17:21Yeah, she converted.
17:22Listen to me, buckle.
17:23That was Janet Jackson.
17:24No.
17:24I follow famous singers' careers really closely.
17:26Janet Jackson converted to Islam?
17:27I think she did, no?
17:30Well, I don't know.
17:31I mean, what y'all looking at me for?
17:33I don't know this woman.
17:34Did you have some pasta with her brother, with Michael Jackson?
17:37That is total and utter bullshit.
17:38I never believed that crap for one fucking minute.
17:41Not you or anyone.
17:42I bought it.
17:42Well, come to think of it, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.
17:46She converted to Islam.
17:47Janet Jackson.
17:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, she wears a veil.
17:50A veil?
17:51Yeah, over her shaved pussy so she won't go.
17:53Oh, you guys, please, come on.
17:57Jesus Christ, don't joke like that.
18:01You guys are repulsive, but you are funny, to be fair.
18:05I can't believe we are all here, all four of us.
18:08You see now, you see Leonardo, huh?
18:10Plain and simple.
18:12I mean, is it not a real coincidence?
18:14I mean, the wildest coincidence that we, the four of us, found each other.
18:19Here, I have to print you.
18:20On the very day, she's voted on.
18:21I love you.
18:34Te quiero mucho.
18:36Aunque te suene a lo de siempre.
18:40Más que un amigo.
18:45Eres un mago diferente.
18:51Andar a saltos entre el tráfico.
18:56Amara and her mother came to the city with two cents in their pockets.
19:22They were penniless, Paco, with no place to crash.
19:24Her mother would sit and watch her sing at some bar in Satruzzi.
19:28She sang and sang and thought she was naras and blah, blah, blah.
19:31So her mother said, well, let's put her on a bus to Madrid.
19:33She came with her, stayed at some boarding house.
19:35Their house is where they should have stayed.
19:36That's how they ended up here.
19:37She was trying to forge your path.
19:38But wait, listen, listen.
19:39They would eat at a bar below Montitrini's house and they would share a lunch deal.
19:44Between the two, one would have the soup and the other would have the soup or whatever.
19:47Well, artists...
19:47Yeah, one day and then the next day they'd swap.
19:49The one who had the soup would get the steak and the other would get the soup.
19:51That's how it is.
19:52Artists go hungry sometimes, man.
19:53500 pesetas.
19:54That was the menu.
19:54You know, I have often wondered.
19:56If for Margarita's sake, I shouldn't have gotten her involved with all the drama.
19:59Well.
20:00But what do you...
20:00But I got them involved.
20:02What the hell do you mean, Paco G?
20:03What do you mean?
20:04Who was it she was dating?
20:06Who was it that she was dating?
20:07It was me.
20:07Wait, tomorrow was discovered by this guy.
20:10I'm sorry.
20:11You weren't even in the picture there.
20:12I was there.
20:13Who came up with the drama?
20:14What do you mean, who came up with the drama?
20:15We would both go on TV saying she was my girlfriend.
20:18Well, what I'm left with from those days is when I walk down the street, people keep asking about the drama.
20:24They still ask me about our gang and what happened.
20:26Because they're expecting.
20:27And they always say they used to watch us on TV.
20:29That's true.
20:30I'm constantly being asked when we're going to make a comeback, guys.
20:34Of course.
20:34And that we owe it to Spain.
20:35To Spain and to television, which gets more boring every day.
20:39You know, I think that if we do this, that if we do this well, yeah, we'll be making headlines again.
20:44Right, Paco?
20:46I don't know.
20:46They'll lock us up, Tony.
20:48So what?
20:48For how long?
20:49What?
20:49Two days?
20:50Two days?
20:50Based on what we've been doing in the street, maybe we should be locked up.
20:53Come here.
20:53Come here.
20:54Come here.
20:54Come here.
20:55Come, come, come.
20:55A photo.
20:56Hang on.
20:56A photo of us.
20:57Hang on.
20:57Just let me...
20:58It's not a photo.
20:59Oh, no?
20:59What is it?
21:00What is it?
21:01Loli, look who I'm hanging out with.
21:05What's going on?
21:06Why are you calling me at this time?
21:08Are you okay?
21:08Have you seen the news?
21:10Who are you with?
21:10Loli, it's Francisco de Cicier.
21:12You look great, by the way.
21:13I can't say the same about you.
21:14What do you want?
21:15Wait till I tell you.
21:16You're going to die, Loli.
21:17You're going to die.
21:17I'm already dead looking at your dumb fucking faces.
21:19What do you want?
21:20So we just found out that they have officially voted Tamara off of survivors.
21:25They kicked her out first.
21:27And then in a few hours, she'll fly into Barajas, and we've come up with a plan to bring back
21:32the drama, huh?
21:34Look, ages ago when it all went down, I told you that I want absolutely nothing to do with
21:38any of this crap.
21:39Why not, Loli?
21:40Come on, the freaking stars have aligned for us.
21:43Yeah, but see, your fucking stars have consistently fucked me in the ass, okay?
21:47The stars, Tamara, and you assholes who are a bunch of petty lowlifes.
21:51But...
21:52Well, it's her loss, am I right?
21:57Oh, fuck, there he goes.
21:58Get it all out.
22:02Jesus Christ, Tony.
22:04Disgusting.
22:05So what's up with Loli?
22:06She married a millionaire, didn't she?
22:08No.
22:08She's got some inheritance, I don't know.
22:11Oh, damn, she's the best hit the damn jackpot in life.
22:14And why'd you move to the site?
22:15You just kept moving to the site on the...
22:17You kept moving out of the shop the whole time.
22:20Didn't you want her to see you on the call, man?
22:22Well, things...
22:23Things didn't end well between us.
22:26Didn't end well?
22:27How?
22:27Since you crashed into Sabellus?
22:28Yeah, but that was all a big setup, wasn't it?
22:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:31That was ages ago now.
22:32Paco, Paco, Paco, Paco, look at where we are.
22:35This is...
22:36This is...
22:36This is the...
22:37This is the real heart of Madrid.
22:39No, no, no, baby.
22:39This is the soul of Spain.
22:42Beautiful.
22:43I look all the form.
22:44It's so weird.
22:45Look.
22:45Shut up, Leo.
22:46You're cute.
22:47No, really, look it up.
22:47Yeah, shut up, Leo.
22:48Those games are the same.
22:50Yeah, but this one's got something special about it,
22:52because there's something special about everything you have.
22:53No, no, no, don't leave.
22:54Did you know that this spot was in Lucis de Bohemia, huh?
22:57The most important Spanish play.
23:01Yeah, bet you didn't know.
23:02These mirrors inspired by Ramon Maria del Van Inclan himself to create his theory of esperpento.
23:10Right, Paco?
23:11Yeah.
23:11Huh?
23:12Yeah, that's right.
23:12Well, I recommend you read it, because if you've come here,
23:15it's because you want to see Spain not to shop at Corte Inglés or Warner Bros., right?
23:19Read Lucis de Bohemia, damn it.
23:22Of course.
23:22Record me, record me.
23:23Attention, esteemed friends and foes.
23:27Enough, Tony.
23:28If European tragedy was never successful in our country of Spain, as Malik Mock used to say,
23:35it's because in Spain, unlike France and Germany and Austria,
23:40people have never been interested in work and effort.
23:44Nah, the only thing anyone's interested in here is mugging and being scoundrel.
23:51That's true.
23:52Where are you going, man?
23:52Don't, don't leave, don't leave.
23:55Hey!
23:55Got to.
23:56Be wary of where your path takes you, because Spain is crumbling!
24:00Don't do that, Tony.
24:02Don't do that, ever.
24:03What's wrong?
24:03My blood, it aches as it flows through my artistic veins.
24:09Goddamn tourists!
24:10Tony, Tony.
24:10People are sleeping.
24:11Why don't we go to the clearance?
24:12Oh, come on.
24:14I'm down, I'm down.
24:15Great idea.
24:15Let's go.
24:16Like old times, remember?
24:17And we'll make it hip again, right, Miguelito?
24:20No.
24:21Count me out.
24:21I'm not going with this stuff and all.
24:23Plus, we're filthy.
24:24Seriously, Leonardo, you've always been such a party pooper, darling.
24:27No, man, listen.
24:28I've got to take the bus now, and I can't...
24:30Hey, Paco, how did it end?
24:33The theory of the esperpento.
24:34Oh, Spain is a gruesome distortion of European civilization.
24:46Oh, Rosa Benito and I never had a fight.
24:48Uh, we just wanted to put a bit of life into it because it was so dead.
24:51That means you're so dead.
24:53So we get in front of the cameras and just pretend like we were fighting.
24:55You've told me stories about Rosa Benito that don't...
24:58I haven't told you anything, Paco.
24:59Excuse me, excuse me.
24:59What happened was we fought with the young people who were there.
25:01Guys, guys, guys.
25:02They said that we have to wait in line.
25:04Who's the bouncer?
25:05I don't know.
25:06No, no, it's some girl.
25:07Tony.
25:08We're not trying to cut the line, okay?
25:09Hey, excuse me.
25:10One moment, just a moment.
25:12Excuse us, excuse us.
25:13We're not trying to cut in.
25:14I know the owner, sorry.
25:15Hello.
25:16No, I've already said to your friend that if you're not on the list, you need to join the queue, baby.
25:19What list?
25:20What is this?
25:20Just tell Luisito to come outside.
25:22Listen, there's no Luisito here, okay?
25:24What do you mean, no Luisito?
25:25Call him, please, come on.
25:27But do you even know who I am?
25:28I'm sorry, but I'm not going to repeat myself, honey.
25:30Singer of one of the most important songs of 1975, España Cuanto Te Quiero, which I later re-recorded for the World Cup of 82.
25:38Do you remember the Naranjito Mascar?
25:40Seriously, girl, I can't even...
25:42I'm dying.
25:42Well, then you're going to die even more because at the age of 50, I made it big again, okay?
25:47It was raining money, I was rolling in it, and we were all on the TV shows, weren't we, weren't we?
25:52Ask these people, go ahead.
25:54No, yeah, everything he said is true, and this is Paco Porra.
25:55Do you even know what we have meant to this country, huh?
25:58You don't know, do you?
25:59A whole lot, a whole lot.
26:00Hey, enough.
26:01You're really not coming in now after the scene you've caused.
26:03You think this is a scene, huh?
26:05Arlequin, show her a magic trick.
26:07Now you'll see what a real scene is.
26:08Yeah, okay.
26:08Show her a magic trick.
26:09Come on, go, go, ta-da!
26:10I'd like you, if you will, I'd like you to look at this paper.
26:13Here it goes.
26:15Oh, yeah.
26:15Girl, what's the actual box?
26:17This is so much fun.
26:18Here you can take it!
26:23And it keeps coming out.
26:24Look, it's coming out of his belly.
26:26It's coming out of his belly.
26:27Bravo, bravo, bravo.
26:30Fernando, Fernando, get over here.
26:32Fernando, come out and wipe your ass with his paper.
26:35Fernando, Fernando, his buzzer, come out.
26:38Hey, man, easy, easy, relax.
26:40Chill out, man, chill out.
26:42Oh, my goodness, man.
26:47What a performance.
26:51Let's hear it for the great Tony Haneel.
26:54Thank you very much.
26:58What's wrong, darling?
27:17Too much for you, huh?
27:18No, I'm just dizzy.
27:21Anyway, they don't have any eggs.
27:22The Chinese guy said we should throw poop at Tamara.
27:25Says if we wait 30 minutes, he'll sell us some.
27:29Half a kilo.
27:30I'm sure we got plenty of shit back home.
27:32Right, Tony?
27:33Poop is perfect.
27:35Our own poo that we pooed, guys.
27:38Well, it's too late for me,
27:39because I took two dumps a while ago at ballet in class.
27:41And where should we shit, man?
27:45In Tupperware.
27:48I've got some, uh...
27:49I've got a few at home.
27:52What the fuck kind of haunted hallway is this, man?
27:55It's like a maze.
27:56It used to be a hostel.
27:57I got rid of that wall and opened the area.
28:00He's probably kidnapped some pimp
28:01and he's got him in here peeling potatoes.
28:03Oh, yeah, hey, we're just...
28:04Shut your mouths.
28:05Listen to me.
28:06I want the two of you to promise something.
28:09It's a secret.
28:10What secret?
28:10A secret I've kept for a long time.
28:13But you have to promise me that it will stay a secret.
28:15Okay.
28:16Well, if you want it to stay a secret,
28:17you shouldn't tell this lady over here.
28:19And why not?
28:20No one believe me.
28:21He's in here.
28:22Open.
28:22You're gonna meet him now.
28:26Honestly, I feel sorry for him, you know?
28:28Confined in here all day, all cooped up, no son.
28:31But that's what he wants.
28:32If that's what he wants,
28:33who is Tony Haniel to say no?
28:35To the king of pop.
28:42Hey, don't worry.
28:43Don't worry, it's okay.
28:44They're my friends.
28:45They're friends of mine, okay?
28:47Yeah, but...
28:48Look, that one there is Paco Porras, okay?
28:51And the other one next to him is Miguel.
28:53Just like you.
28:54Like you, Miguel.
28:55But we call him Arlequin.
28:57Ah, Arlequin.
28:58Arlequin.
28:59Arlequin.
29:00Do you like it?
29:01Yeah.
29:01A Harlequin is like a...
29:03How can I explain this?
29:04Like a clown, but who is always a little bit sad.
29:08Like you.
29:09That's so sad.
29:10All right, go on.
29:11Leave the pasta and get up, man.
29:13Get up.
29:13Go on.
29:13Hi, I'm Michael Jackson.
29:20Nice to meet you.
29:23Um, sorry, I'm really very shy.
29:27Um, pleasure to see you, Tony's friends.
29:30Friends?
29:31It's my...
29:33Michael Jackson.
29:35Michael Jackson?
29:36Michael Jackson?
29:37Yeah, that's Michael Jackson.
29:38And I'm Purple Brain.
29:40How can that be Michael Jackson?
29:41This is Michael Jackson.
29:42His face has got paint on it.
29:43Fuck's sake, Michael God, this is Michael Jackson.
29:45He's not.
29:46Can't you see that?
29:46It's Michael Jackson.
29:47It's obviously not Michael Jackson.
29:48Michael Jackson?
29:49Michael Jackson?
29:52Hey!
30:03Yo, baby, yo, baby, yo, baby, yo, baby, yo, baby.
30:12Oh, my God.
30:22Oh, my God.
30:24Oh, my God.
30:25He's totally content.
30:26Isn't that right?
30:27Don't be a motherfucker, Tony.
30:29You know, he's very talented.
30:31The fucker's good.
30:32And you know, I'm being exploited.
30:34Every day, I give him his pasta bowl.
30:36I mean, the nerve, huh?
30:38Yes, darling.
30:39You hear that?
30:40He calls me darling.
30:41When he calls me darling, it means he's happy.
30:43Yeah, I can tell he's happy.
30:44Look how happy he is.
30:46You're a happy guy, right?
30:46Michael.
30:47And what did you do tonight, Tony?
30:49We should tell him what we're doing.
30:51Oh, but do you think that's a good one?
30:52Look, you'll get it.
30:53I think for spending so much time together, we just understand each other.
30:56I just understand him, and he just totally understands me.
30:58Right, buddy?
30:59Of course, darling.
31:00Hey, he called me darling again.
31:02Tony, man, I want to apologize for all those years I called you a liar for the pasta story.
31:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:10What happened?
31:10He called you up, or who put you in touch, or something?
31:13Well, look, it was the simplest thing in the world.
31:15He's like that, normal.
31:17Came knocking on my door, I opened.
31:19And he told me to my face that he faked his death to the world.
31:23Well, because he was sick of the life, and he had said he wanted to revisit the places where he felt joy.
31:28And apparently, one of the places he felt the most joy was at my house that afternoon he paused.
31:34Am I messing up or am I telling the story right now?
31:36Come here, come here.
31:37I could just eat you off.
31:38You're so cute.
31:39You've got all this white powder all over.
31:42Hey, so what if, what, what if we ask him to come with us to the, the airport?
31:47No, no, no, no, no, no.
31:48No, Michael, Michael hasn't set foot outside this place since.
31:52He first arrived, and he's not going to do it today.
31:54But wouldn't it be incredible to turn up at the airport with Michael Jackson?
31:59Hey, no, no, Michael Jackson, not for you, but I'll tell you it wouldn't be incredible, sure?
32:05Michael, listen, honey, would you come with us to the airport to throw poo at Tamara?
32:15Could you shut the fuck up already, Miguel?
32:18You lie more than you shit, and you've got diarrhea.
32:20Shut your mouth.
32:21Well, no, I, isn't that what we're doing?
32:23Do me a fever, shut your mouth.
32:25You, you ever throw shit at someone?
32:28Shit.
32:28Well, that's what we're going to throw at Tamara.
32:30Shit, a big pile for being a hoe bag and a monster.
32:35We've got the exclusive then, Tamara.
32:37Yes, sir.
32:38Urena?
32:38Tamara Urena, evil Tamara.
32:40She's the worst.
32:41What the fuck are you talking about?
32:43Tony, what the fuck are you talking about?
32:46Fuck you.
32:48What the?
32:49But she's...
32:49He's upset?
32:50No, fucking you.
32:53Fuck the shit.
32:54See?
32:55Now he's angry.
32:56Michael.
32:57Michael Jackson.
32:59Michael.
33:00Michael Jackson.
33:08What's wrong, Michael?
33:10Don't you like my friends?
33:12It's not that.
33:17So, you think these are fine to put our shit in or not?
33:22Hey, where's Leonardo?
33:25I haven't seen him for a while.
33:26Jesus, focus, Miguel.
33:27That's enough.
33:29Tony's housing some Catalan weirdo.
33:31And he's freeloading because of this Michael Jackson nonsense.
33:33You think it's funny that he's scamming a senile old man?
33:36I won't stand for him.
33:37I won't.
33:38It's Michael Jackson, man.
33:39How's that Michael Jackson?
33:41Don't be a fucking idiot, Miguel.
33:42He's a fraud.
33:43Looks more like Syrah.
33:48Are you sure, Tony?
33:50Really?
33:53Listen to me.
33:56Everybody does things that are bad, you know?
34:00Look at me.
34:05Everybody knows I'm not innocent.
34:15Everybody knows I robbed the song Thriller I stole from Luisi Toledo.
34:22And I never beg for forgiveness.
34:27I am so sorry, Luisi.
34:29I am so sorry.
34:31And do you know why?
34:35To say I am sorry, you need bravery and humility.
34:44I only have arrogance and tons of fear.
34:53I'm scared, Tony.
34:57Why do you think I am here?
35:01Back from the dead.
35:04Eating bowls of pasta in your house.
35:07I just don't understand.
35:13I don't understand where this has come from, Michael.
35:15Why?
35:16Because Tamara, she needs an apology.
35:23Not a turd thrown on her face, Tony.
35:27You know?
35:27No.
35:27No.
35:27No.
35:27No.
35:27No.
35:29No.
35:29No.
35:31No.
35:31No.
35:31No.
35:32No.
35:33No.
35:33No.
35:34No.
35:34No.
35:34No.
35:34No.
35:35No.
35:35No.
35:36No.
35:37No.
35:37No.
35:38No.
35:39No.
35:40No.
35:41No.
35:42No.
35:43No.
35:44No.
35:45No.
35:46No.
35:47No.
35:48No.
35:49No.
35:50No.
35:51No.
35:52No.
35:53No.
35:54No.
35:55No.
35:56No.
35:57No.
35:58No.
35:59No.
36:00No.
36:01No.
36:02No.
36:03No.
36:04No.
36:05No.
36:06No.
36:07Y es que soñaba que vendÃa mi alma al diablo, y es que soñaba que no era dueño de mi vida, que tan solo era un conquistador, de almas pervertidas.
36:33Dementes pervertidas.
37:03Y es que soñaba que no era un empaparazzi.
37:17¿Toni?
37:19¿Toni?
37:21¿Toni?
37:23¿Toni?
37:24¿Estás seguro que el avión llegue hoy?
37:26¿Qué hora es?
37:29Es diez.
37:30No puede ser diez porque es todavÃa oscuro en el exterior.
37:33No es imposible.
37:34Bueno, estoy viendo el mismo en todos ellos.
37:38No puedo.
37:39No puedo.
37:42Hey, esto dice diez como diez.
37:48It should have been daylight, a couple of hours ago, and the sky looks like a black
38:13hole, an infinite black hole.
38:17What's happening?
38:20I don't know.
38:23The plane should have already arrived, right?
38:29No.
38:31No one's arriving today.
38:40It's over.
38:46We were given an opportunity, and we dropped the ball.
38:53What opportunity?
38:54What are you talking about?
38:56The opportunity to show this country that we might be troublemakers, but we can be honorable
39:03men as well.
39:05We're capable of acting with, with generosity and nobility.
39:13But instead of embracing generosity, we've embraced resentment.
39:23And if, if we happen to run into each other by coincidence, it hasn't been for us.
39:35But for us to come here because, because, because the stars have aligned.
39:44And because we had to come to the airport, to throw some shit, and take revenge on tomorrow.
39:53If we happen to run into each other by coincidence, it was because we were meant to apologize to
40:02her.
40:03But since that's something that we're not going to do, even if they tied our testicles
40:09to the fender of a car and hauled our bodies along the road, we're stranded in here.
40:18Yeah.
40:19I think we are trapped in the eternal night.
40:32With my guitar and my hat, I'm going to go to the world singing Spanish.
40:40And in my mouth, the notes are born from the nostalgia of fiesta and the sun.
40:49And I see people who are Spanish, tourists who want to go.
40:56In this land of fiesta, I can only live in Spain.
41:02Spain!
41:04Spain!
41:06Hello, my friends.
41:07I'm Luis Toledo.
41:08I have claimed this since the year 1985, friends.
41:13And in the end, the international court said yes.
41:16The song is similar, but Michael Jackson says that he doesn't know you.
41:20These are letters from Michael Jackson's lawyers.
41:22I, Luis Toledo, never tell a lie.
41:25You should feel proud because the real writer of the hit song on the best selling record
41:29in history is a Spaniard like you.
41:32This is a living in the world.
41:33There is a Abbvoll system with the
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