- 06/07/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You
00:19Feels good to provide a meal for the switchers, don't it boys?
00:23They provided it Freddie. We're just cooking it. It's just nice to all be together
00:30Ow! God damn it! One dumb shit's hand burnt to a grip. Put it out! Put it out!
00:42He's high as fuck.
00:45Oops. What the fuck? Where did that come from?
00:48Surprise, surprise, motherfuckers.
00:51Man, who ramps? Two-ton.
00:53Phineas, it's starting to break. Maybe we should go inside.
00:57Schoolboy Q, we thought you drowned when we sunk your yacht, the lucky motherfucker.
01:02You ain't that lucky motherfucker.
01:03If you're here for dinner, there's not enough. That wasn't a fat joke, but it could have been.
01:07It's hurtful, nevertheless.
01:09You wrecked my golf cart and sank my yacht. Bruh, I'm here to kill you, Freeze. Two-ton.
01:15Give me my sawd-off, bruh.
01:16I ain't bring the shotgun, Q. I brought the brick. The brick was my responsibility.
01:22Oh, motherfucker. Fine, man. Then I'll kill him with this.
01:27Hi-yah!
01:29Check it out. I e-bied this rare 18th century katana for my collection.
01:39Damn, y'all got muscle now?
01:41Oh, good evening, gentlemen. New friends of yours from the job fair?
01:44Ha, ha, ho, yeah!
01:46Y'all lucky y'all got that samurai here.
01:48But ain't nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
01:51I'ma end you bitches.
01:54We out, two-time.
01:57Boy, does this guy hold a grudge or what?
02:00Alright, let's eat before he comes back and kills us.
02:07Three brothers buffing
02:09You heard the rapper. We can't run. We can't hide. We should run to Canada and hide there.
02:34Need find us eventually. Plus, I don't want to leave.
02:39Who wants salad?
02:40Is that my beach hat? What happened to the salad bowl?
02:43I'm saving it to wear to the beach.
02:45Aw, this all looks delicious, boys.
02:47If you like your salad with broken glass and a shit ton of pepper, that's for you.
02:52Perhaps the culinary arts are not your calling. Maybe stick to batting balls of yarn.
02:58Ha, ha, whoops. Thought it was a bottle of yarn.
03:01Mom, Dad, Taylor Swift is gonna be at Colapalooza.
03:04You know, it's times like these I wish I spoke Chinese.
03:08What's Colapalooza?
03:10Only the greatest music festival in the world.
03:13With the best artists of today.
03:15I wanna be a friend.
03:17Woof!
03:18Woof!
03:19Woof!
03:20Woof!
03:21Woof!
03:22Woof!
03:23How you like my twerking chompy?
03:25Inferior animal.
03:27Good Christ, stop that god-awful caterwauling.
03:30Taylor Swift's the greatest musician there ever was. Can I please go to Colapalooza?
03:36Camille, you're not old enough for a music festival.
03:39Ask us again in 20 years.
03:41There'll be acts for old people, too. Look!
03:44And new to our Hall of Legends, Mr. Mojo Rising himself, Jim Morrison!
03:52Wow! Jim Morrison looks like he's 25 years old.
03:56Yeah, that seems about right.
03:57How long has he been part of this Palookaville festival?
04:01The ad said new, so they probably just added him.
04:04Let me see that. So Jim Morrison is a new arrival. He just got here? Is that what you're telling me?
04:10Yeah? I guess so, Phineas.
04:12That's it! Franklin! Freddie! Basement!
04:17Ow! There's fucking glass in here!
04:20Mr. Mojo Rising himself!
04:23There's no other explanation. Jim Morrison time-traveled to 2020.
04:27Then he must know how to get us back to 1969.
04:30Exactly! And that's the one place we can hide from Schoolboy! He'll never find us in the past!
04:35You mean we can go home? I get to see Kitty again! I miss her, so...
04:40Uh, what the fuck? I'm right here.
04:43Hi, Kitty! I was just talking about you!
04:47Hey! Put your shoes on! Your feet stink!
04:49Well, since you traveled all this way...
04:52Ooh!
04:53It's settled then. We go to the festival and ask Jim Morrison how to get back to the late 60s.
04:58Yeah, I guess that's what we'll do.
05:00Let me guess, Franklin. You're pouting about leaving Gretchen.
05:04She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, man.
05:07And you'll be the worst thing that's ever happened to her.
05:10As long as Schoolboy's after us, she's in danger. We gotta go!
05:14Well, that's settled. All right! Let's see what everyone swiped from the dinner table.
05:20Which one of you idiots got a corkscrew?
05:27Ha! You call this a music festival?
05:30They have bathrooms! And real medics!
05:33Crack your head open to Woodstock. Crazy Mary just gives you a hug and a tab of ass.
05:38You cured my broken finger!
05:39And where are the Hells Angels?
05:41They have actual security guards here.
05:46Ah, well, back in the day, I busted hippies and freaks from the hate to the tenderloin.
05:50Hey, what are you doing? This is an exit, not an entrance!
05:54Is that how you got the nickname Norbert the Nark?
05:56Ah, I gave myself that name. Ha! So people would treat me with respect.
06:01Uh, but a narc is like a tattletale.
06:03No, dude. Worse than a tattletale. Like a dick.
06:07Oh, no, dude. Worse than a dick. Like a fucking dick.
06:11No, dude. Like a big fucking dick that nobody likes or wants to be around.
06:17Anyway, like I said, I busted them all.
06:21There was only one that got away.
06:24Well, uh, three, actually. But I count them as one.
06:28You add their three brains together and round up. My arch...nemonies.
06:38How do you do, fellow hippies? Any cool cats at home?
06:42Just one moment, please.
06:45It's Norbert the Nark!
06:46Everyone hide your shit!
06:53Come right in!
06:54Fellow hippie?
06:56Anybody got any of that sweet Mary Jane-O-Wanna?
07:00Hey.
07:01The heck is wrong with your hat?
07:03Uh, ain't nothing wrong with...
07:05Ah! Get this thing off of me!
07:08Ah-ha!
07:09Marijuana.
07:10And Marijuana paraphernalia.
07:13All you hippies are under a rock!
07:16Come on, Freddy. Let's book before he comes to.
07:19Hey, don't forget to dry dick on his head.
07:22And don't forget the balls.
07:26Anyway, one day they just disappeared.
07:30Cool story, Nark.
07:32Bitch, bitch, bitch.
07:34Huh. You think legends would play on a bigger stage?
07:40Hey, fellas. Look. It's Jimi Hendrix.
07:42He hasn't aged a day.
07:44Whew!
07:45Where'd Jimi go?
07:47Back to 1969, obviously.
07:49Another time traveler.
07:51There's Morrison.
07:52Let's go introduce ourselves.
07:54Excuse me.
07:55Watch it.
07:56Whoa!
07:57Yeah!
07:58Excuse me.
07:59Mr. Lizard King?
08:00Jim!
08:01Phineas Freakers.
08:03Also from 1969.
08:05Can you give us a ride back?
08:07A black rap singer is gonna end us bitches.
08:10Thank you all for coming.
08:11Next show begins on the hour.
08:13Please visit the merchandise booth.
08:15What's with this guy?
08:16He's ignoring us, man.
08:18He's not real.
08:19You poor brain-fried weirdos.
08:21That's a hologram.
08:23I'm not saying I knew it the whole time.
08:30I'm saying I figured it out several seconds before you two did.
08:34Morrison's been dead since 1971.
08:37Time travel.
08:38What the fuck was I listening to you for?
08:40Hey, you know the worst part?
08:42A few minutes earlier, we could've gone back with Jimi Hendrix.
08:45Hmm.
08:46Yep.
08:47We're dead, Ben.
08:48Schoolboy's gonna kill us.
08:50Maybe he forgot about us.
08:52He forgot to bring a shotgun to the house.
08:54He's a forgetful person.
08:55Every moment is precious.
08:57Let's score some primo weed and get some stone we don't feel the pain.
09:01Being shot in the face, no doubt.
09:04Calling all units.
09:06The big fish are here and they're looking to score.
09:09Come watch the master reel him in.
09:12Come on!
09:14Any of these tattoo-covered mystery gender kids look like drug dealers?
09:20Uh, every single one?
09:22Taylor!
09:23Taylor!
09:24Taylor!
09:25Taylor, can I have your autograph?
09:26I love you.
09:27Oh!
09:28Look what you made me do.
09:29Do, do, do, do.
09:31Hey, it's that Swifty Taylor lady Camille likes.
09:36You mean the one with the derivative melodies and fluffy shallow lyrics?
09:39No, thank you.
09:41She is her.
09:43Um, excuse me.
09:45Taylor heard what you said about her music.
09:47She'd like a word.
09:48Yeah.
09:49All right.
09:50You boys go on ahead.
09:51I'll get Camille a autograph for my last earthly act.
09:56R.I.P.
09:57I'm rolling with the mustache man.
09:59A kitty's gotta eat.
10:00And a rock star gets their shit catered.
10:03They're splitting up.
10:04I'll stay with Codename Cowboy Hat.
10:06R.I.P.
10:07Do you copy?
10:08We're on it, dude.
10:09R.I.P.
10:10R.I.P.
10:11R.I.P.
10:12R.I.P.
10:13R.I.P.
10:14R.I.P.
10:15R.I.P.
10:16R.I.P.
10:17R.I.P.
10:18R.I.P.
10:19R.I.P.
10:20R.I.P.
10:21R.I.P.
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10:25R.I.P.
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10:28R.I.P.
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10:39R.I.P.
10:40R.I.P.
10:41R.I.P.
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10:44R.I.P.
10:45R.I.P.
10:46R.I.P.
10:47R.I.P.
10:48R.I.P.
10:49young women find me appealing sexually and...
10:53That depends.
10:54Are you a DJ, a Kennedy, or the Jonas Brother
10:56no one talks about?
10:58No.
10:58Then not even slightly.
10:59No matter anyway.
11:00I already got me a very special gal.
11:03Franklin, I'm surrounded by hangers-on and yes-men.
11:06They're all afraid to tell me the truth.
11:08Here's the truth for you.
11:09Your songs suck.
11:11They sound like they're written for nine-year-old girls.
11:14They are?
11:15Darling, none of us is on this earth forever.
11:18Yeah, you want to sing about bubble gum and soda pop
11:21or you want to take a little piece of your heart
11:24and rip it out for all the world to see.
11:26I mean, here.
11:27Yes.
11:28How do I do that?
11:29How do I rip out that piece of my heart?
11:32Well, let me ask you this.
11:33When you're making music, what kind of drugs do you do?
11:36I don't do drugs.
11:37Well, hell, darling, there's your problem.
11:41So, you didn't really die?
11:44No, although I almost did when I saw The Doors movie.
11:48I fell through a time portal back in 1971.
11:52Ended up here in 2020.
11:53So, why were you pretending to be a hologram?
11:55To get into Janis Joplin's pants?
11:57Joplin's a hologram.
11:58The whole hologram thing's because I like performing.
12:01So, if I understand this whole hologram thing correctly,
12:05how do we get back exactly?
12:07Through Janis Joplin's pussy?
12:08What?
12:09No!
12:10There's a portal at the Four Corners just a few miles from here.
12:14What's the Four Corners?
12:16That a metaphor for Joplin's pussy?
12:18It's a national monument where four states come together.
12:21Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and another one.
12:25Oh, Florida!
12:26The portal opens tonight at sunset when the full moon rises.
12:31Ah!
12:32So, it's a metaphor for Janis Joplin's asshole.
12:38Uh, anyone know if these ribs are beef or pork?
12:43Cause I don't eat no swine.
12:44Who the hell am I kidding?
12:45I'm a cat.
12:46I eat beetles.
12:47I eat geckos.
12:48Hell.
12:49I'd love to eat me some rat.
12:50Oh my god!
12:59I'm so high!
13:02Oh, that's brilliant.
13:04That's so good.
13:05Write that down.
13:06Write that down.
13:07What else?
13:08Uh, uh...
13:10I'm chewing with my teeth, but there's nothing in my mouth.
13:13Chewing, chewing me up.
13:15Spitting, spitting me out.
13:18Write that down.
13:19Write that down.
13:20Wow!
13:21We're on a roll!
13:23Uh, Mr. Freakers and Freakoutski for Mr. Freak.
13:27Ah, show those pig fuckers in.
13:31Holy shit!
13:32Hi!
13:33Franklin, we got big news!
13:35Hold on, we're creating.
13:36They didn't have this stuff in 69.
13:39What'd you say it was, Tay-Tay?
13:41Molly.
13:42It's great.
13:43It's like cocaine, but it doesn't make you angry.
13:45Which reminds me, I need more fucking cocaine!
13:48That's so good!
13:49I'm writing it down!
13:50Write this down, Blondie.
13:52Jim Morrison is real!
13:54And we can go back in his time portal at the Four Corners.
13:57At the intersection of Utah and three other countries.
14:00Don't you see?
14:01I don't need to go back anywhere.
14:03I can stay here, write songs for Tay-Tay, and be with Gretch Gretch!
14:07Uh, and what about the guys trying to make us dead dead?
14:10Ain't no safer place than with all of Tay-Tay's security, man.
14:14That purple foam coming out of your mouth tells me you ain't thinking straight, Franklin.
14:18Trust me, Fred.
14:19I got half a pharmacy swimming around my brain.
14:22I've never thinking clearer.
14:24Let me break this down for you.
14:26You can either stay here, safe from harm and loaded with free drugs,
14:30or, or, hear me out, you could come with us back to 69,
14:36sit in the basement, and listen to me rant about Vietnam!
14:41I think I answered my own question.
14:43Let's go, Freddy!
14:44Could I have a hug goodbye, Franklin?
14:50Tay-Tay, what happened to your pay-pay?
14:53It's like it's not-
14:54He's dead to us.
14:59Besides, you still got me, buddy, and the cat.
15:04Time to go, kitty!
15:05Here's a question for you, fat man.
15:07Do they have raw fish flown in daily from Osaka back in your 1960s?
15:12Nope.
15:13I ain't think so.
15:14But I do have a half-eaten Filet-O fish in my sock drawer.
15:17Get yo ass outta here!
15:19I think I should be sad.
15:22But when we get back, won't the 1969 kitty still be there?
15:26It's time travel, Freddy.
15:28Nobody understands how the fuck it works.
15:37Hey, two time.
15:38Don't that look like the freak's cat?
15:40I don't have much experience with cats on account of my allergy to pet dander.
15:45I must be seeing shit.
15:48Hey, fool.
15:49Give me my blinders.
15:50I'm gonna catch some z's before my set.
15:52This is a brand new song that I just wrote with an incredible man, my muse.
16:18I think he should come out here and sing it with me.
16:21Don't you?
16:27Tell me this cowboy, can you score me something hardcore?
16:32I know a gunning Bruce, cut weed and coke, and the best day to lose.
16:39We're falling into a chaos of all making.
16:46I see spiders!
16:48Yes, that's the fuck off me!
16:50Oh my god, there's spiders!
16:52Who let the spiders hit?
16:55White spiders, they're on me!
16:56Get them off me!
16:58I'm back, I gotta get it!
17:00Cow!
17:01Cow, that was my head!
17:02Well, that was fun while it lasted.
17:04Jesus, it's already going viral.
17:10Um, can I get it to go back for these ribs?
17:16Get away from me!
17:17Help me people!
17:19Why are you all just watching?
17:20You're not falling, you fell!
17:22Aw, look what you made me do.
17:26Do, do, do.
17:28Hey Jim, I got a question for you.
17:30Hit me with it.
17:31Those lyrics.
17:32If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar.
17:36Shouldn't that be you know that they are liars?
17:40You cats want to talk grammar or you want to go back to 1969?
17:4369!
17:44Grammar!
17:45We don't have much time.
17:46We can take my car.
17:48I would have never guessed Holgrams could drive.
17:50There they are.
17:52Two of my arch enemies.
17:53Some other stoner.
17:55Hey, those are a couple of the freak dudes.
17:57Let's go bust them.
17:59Follow me.
18:00We're right behind you.
18:01Great.
18:02Take my six.
18:03Yeah, right.
18:05What's a six?
18:06I think it's the number of joints we're gonna partake on while he's gone.
18:10Mmm.
18:11Yes!
18:12Now that adds up.
18:15Do you have a lighter?
18:17I don't.
18:18Damn.
18:30Okay, now that last eight lines of coke might have been a step too far.
18:34That's on me.
18:37But this is on you!
18:39We gotta get to four corners before sundown!
18:51Woo-hee!
18:52Tour buses have come a long way since the olden days, yeah.
18:56Used to get mustache rides of gray slick in the back of ye old cooch-cooch.
19:00These K-Rigs make a damn fine cup of joe.
19:03Hey, Frank, can I get you a new men's own?
19:05Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
19:07We can still make it.
19:09We can still make it.
19:27Everyone pick a state and stand in it.
19:28I call Florida.
19:29Oh, great spirit.
19:32The Lizard King beseeches you to open the portal.
19:36How long is this going to take?
19:38I'm hungry.
19:40Open the portal, beseeches the Lizard King.
19:46Well, this feels like a crock of shit.
19:49How do we even know you're the real Jim Morrison?
19:51You could just be some filthy guy who looks like him.
19:57Wait!
19:58Wait for us!
19:59Franklin, my brother!
20:01Kitty, my kitty!
20:02I thought you were in 1969.
20:05I'm so glad you changed your mind.
20:07There's enough room for all of us, right?
20:08Because I was here first.
20:10Freeze, Franks!
20:11Who the hell is this old guy?
20:12It's me, your arch nemesis, Norbert the N-respected.
20:17Holy shit, you're Norbert the Nark.
20:20Well, that makes no sense.
20:21Norbert the Nark is back in 1969.
20:23I've been waiting 50 years to say this.
20:26You are finally under arrest.
20:29For what?
20:30Ha!
20:31For what?
20:32For this.
20:34Possession of marijuana is a crime in the state of Utah.
20:38But it's legal in Colorado, so that's kind of that, bro.
20:44Nark?
20:44Oh, cheese and crackers.
20:46Where?
20:50What the fuck?
20:52I knew that was they fucking can.
20:54It's those freaks, two-ton, my sawed-off.
20:59Oh, shit.
21:00But he remembered his gun this time.
21:02Good for him.
21:03Hey, that's not a regulation barrel length.
21:05In any state, you're under arrest.
21:07Boy, you's a winner cop.
21:08Get the fuck out my face.
21:09Give me the shotgun.
21:15The portal is opening.
21:17I can beat a boot up at a howl girl.
21:21Give it back.
21:23Wait.
21:26Wait for us.
21:27No.
21:29Finn, it's okay.
21:30We don't have to go back to 69.
21:32Because schoolboy Q went in our place.
21:34Hey, you're right.
21:36He can't kill us.
21:37He's 50 years away.
21:39Well, good for a rapper, man.
21:41No reason he can't enjoy the 60s as much as we did.
21:45And then you gentlemen able to drive the bus.
21:47My contract lenses are all fogged up from my pet allergies.
21:53Aw, hell nah, Jumbo.
21:55I'm allergic to fat and stupid.
21:57Don't see me snotting all over your unemployed ass.
22:00Damn it.
22:08Out of weed again.
22:09I'll just order some on the weed app.
22:11Now you're thinking.
22:13Where's the weed app?
22:14It's gone.
22:15Weed app?
22:16You know, the one that delivers weed right to your door.
22:18What?
22:21You're serious?
22:22Uh-huh.
22:23There's no such thing as a weed delivery app.
22:25Weed is illegal.
22:26What?
22:27Since when?
22:28Weed has always been illegal.
22:30But it's been punishable by death ever since they passed the Norbert Narcotic Law of 1969.
22:36Turn on the TV.
22:37They're talking about Taylor Swift.
22:39Hey, Google.
22:39Turn on the TV.
22:40Sure.
22:41Turning on the TV.
22:42President Swift today, after hearing about China's invasion of New York City, said we should, and I quote, get over it.
22:51Get over it.
22:53Get over it.
22:55Over it.
22:55Get the hell over it.
22:57Over it.
22:58Cause I'm already over it.
23:00Over it.
23:01Get, get, get over it.
23:03Over it.
23:06Oh, my God, Freddie.
23:08I had the worst nightmare.
23:10Weed was illegal.
23:12Oh, Kitty.
23:13You gotta lay off the ketamine before your naps.
23:19I'm back, motherfucker.
23:23Aw, shit.
23:24Get over it.
23:29Get over it.
23:30Get the hell over it.
23:31Over it.
23:33Cause I'm already over it.
23:35Over it.
23:36Get, get, get over it.
23:38Over it.
23:39Over it.
23:39Get over it.
23:41Over it.
23:41Cause I'm already over it, over it.
23:44Get, get, get over it, over it, over it.
23:50Get over it, over it, over it.
23:59Over it, over it.
24:01Get, get, get over it, over it, over it.
24:07It's a good show.
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