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00:00This is a funny show, you know. Did you watch the last series?
00:07Because I was actually quite pleased with a lot of how it came out.
00:11Were you?
00:13Yes. You know we won an award.
00:15Did we?
00:16Yes.
00:17For what?
00:18We won the Fast TV Best Multi-Channel Panel Show.
00:21Really? What is from you?
00:23Well, you laugh all you want, but it is an award.
00:25What was it called?
00:26The Fast TV, which is a magazine, a subscription only magazine.
00:29Sorry, I'll go back this time, because if I'm calling agents, I can...
00:32Yes, you should tell them. Fast TV Best Multi-Channel Panel Show.
00:35Best Multi-Channel...
00:38Best Multi-Channel Panel Show.
00:40Panel Show.
00:41Off-peak.
00:48Hello, and welcome to another anally reti...
00:56Anally reti...
00:59I can't believe it.
01:00I can't believe it.
01:01Oh, I'm a nutter.
01:02Right.
01:03Oh, my God.
01:04I've got Griffiths-Jones, right?
01:05We've got Rory Bremner.
01:06I've got Jimmy Carr.
01:07And I'm on BBC Three.
01:08Nobody watching.
01:09That's a BBC One line-up.
01:10Those are good guests.
01:11Why am I not on BBC One?
01:12That's a BBC One line-up.
01:13Why am I not on BBC One?
01:15That's a BBC One line-up.
01:16That's a BBC One line-up.
01:17Those are good guests.
01:18Why am I not on BBC One?
01:19That's a BBC One line-up.
01:20That's a BBC One line-up.
01:21That's a BBC One line-up.
01:22Those are good guests.
01:23Why am I not on BBC One?
01:24And I'm on BBC Three.
01:25Nobody watching.
01:28That's a BBC One line-up.
01:29That's a BBC One line-up.
01:30Those are good guests.
01:31Why am I not on BBC One?
01:32BEEP
01:41Alright, alright, take four.
01:43Hello!
01:44Welcome to another annually retentive show is this-
01:45AAAHHHHH!!!
01:46***
01:47EGGiful
01:49Cut!
01:50The only way you're going to get on BBC One
01:52blooper tv type britain's best bloopers you're not serious yeah you seriously think the only
01:59way i'll end up on bbc one is an auntie's bloomers no no the only way you'll end up in bbc one is on
02:03outtake tv what's outtake tv well it's the new name for aunties bloomers hello and welcome to
02:12another annually retentive the show where i used oh that's enough isn't it i think do you think
02:17it's not so i mean was there was there a ceremony or something not as such no no it's a website so
02:23it's virtual isn't it it's in it's in it's in cyberspace so did you jump into the computer
02:29is that what you want me to do no but how did you they sent it to me okay yes and did you have a
02:34little ceremony at home when you were doing open that do you know what this will make you laugh yes
02:39i did i had a little drink oh you were one of the people i was toasting and i if i'd known
02:48that you would be so hostile i'm not hostile i think you know any award so congratulations
02:56congratulations to you too so it's a it's a team effort yeah so um without looking down what award
03:03was it the fast the multi um panel show you can't even remember the fast tv show multi-pal
03:12we're already for those who don't know what what is america it's a pubic wig yes well i've often
03:18wondered what the uh the decorum is if you're a victorian man do you if you're having sex with a
03:22lady who's got a merkin you have to go very slowly you don't want to knock it off do you
03:27well do you maybe comb it over you know what's that you wouldn't you wouldn't comb over a merkin
03:32you'd comb over if you were thinking of getting a merkin because you comb over when it's thinning i think the
03:36real etiquette dilemma when banging a merkin-wearing lady is whether or not you stare at the merkin as
03:43you're doing it look how firmly you're holding on to that she's not going anywhere so these ones
03:54we've got these ones we haven't i think these two here be my favorite can't we just do a deal with
03:58them it's so expensive you should do a deal because we've got about thousand kim hey how are you all
04:04right yeah you know dave don't you no kim been a while since we worked together 18 months yeah
04:13chief executive entertainment the bbc loving it enjoying it yeah enjoying the challenge
04:19hmm snowboarding shit yeah no rob no he's uh stuck halfway up a climbing wall in the east midlands
04:30ah a climber i suppose busy man now isn't he fingers in pies just hope he's not taking his eye off the wall
04:39yeah he's shooting a commercial okay this close to a shoot is that a good idea
04:56are you facing a mountain a mountain of debt no matter how high you climb you feel you'll never
05:05reach the top okay cut okay you can come down rob oh yeah yeah i think these have the potential
05:12to be as good as as peter k john smith's you know i feel that that i think there's a potential in this
05:19slightly different uh territory in that it's it's obviously more daytime uh yeah but it's and and and
05:26and and and it's quite it's quite serious and the people that you're appealing to are people who who
05:30are in you know straightened circumstances and yeah i mean take all that on board take all that
05:35on board but but then put that to one side and at the bottom line you're left with it's it's a well
05:39known face it's a well-known yeah it's a loved comedian yeah doing an advert i'd love to make the
05:44first funny finance address you know well yes yeah compromise compromise when i get to the top
05:50instead saying hello could i shout garlic bread when rusty made a cameo appearance in bridget jones's
05:56diary both hugh grant uh gosh crikey excellent sir gosh no gosh uh crikey excellent don't mind if rob
06:05is endlessly doing impressions throughout the show because he he's just going to you know he just
06:10will because he's a bit intimidated i just think it'll be like a top trump's impression well he did
06:15it with alistair mcgowan last year ronnie ancona last year that's right it's his thing isn't it yeah
06:21they never wins i don't know why does it i know oh look it was this who's come along categorically
06:27undeniably furthermore i will lead the labor party is that president musharraf
06:38yeah keep going
06:43okay how are you okay yeah i'm quite do you want to rest you want to rest yeah i'm feeling quite
06:47sort of fatigued yeah okay yeah we'll just just take five seconds that is yeah okay a lot of
06:55feeling in this arm pardon i said i've lost a lot of feeling in this arm okay so just i mean i'm all
07:01right i think i think i think just relax just what yeah okay if you just hang there just hang there a
07:07second well i've trapped one of my testicles rory do you do you now have to be thinking to yourself well
07:17i'm not going to get much more value out of blair are you now kind of phasing him out and looking
07:22at who's going to follow yeah cameron's hard because he actually he he uses blair's language
07:26but he speaks like peter mandelton all that you know very very you know it's quite public school
07:31very much like that and he does that michael howard thing of sticking his tongue out you know when
07:34michael howard used to catch flies and cameron does all three and uh it's sort of weird so he's back
07:41into that i i miss michael howard because he's you need those kind of characters that are really
07:45you know it's all right i'm not going to hurt you and i don't think cameron i'm not sure cameron
07:54knows how to do cameron yet but it's uh so it's going to be difficult and what about you're the
07:59master of gordon brown gordon is is different of course uh i get on perfectly well with tony blair
08:05i mean it's not exactly brookback mountain but you're saying yesterday about bears and and and
08:13bear you know we're talking about the terminology and stuff yeah there's a what's a bear cup yeah
08:21it's not a boy it's just a younger a younger gay man yeah would be a bear cub yeah so i i suppose i'd
08:28be a bear cup i suppose sometimes it goes on regards of how much fur you've got how much hair you've got
08:32in your body you call hair fur i well yeah i suppose you do yeah if you're if you're a young
08:38man me i'm not that hairy i've got a bit of hair but if i was hairier i'd definitely be a cub i'm not
08:44old enough to be a dad or a bear yet so i'd be a cub yeah when you say a dad yeah which is you i'd say
08:49you's a dad seriously yeah just like really you know old not for not really old but just you know
08:57a guy who's kind of looks like he could father a lot of children that sort of guy i'd say that'd be
09:02you ironically because in the gay world you wouldn't would you you wouldn't father well
09:07you you you would you mean you can do that no it's not but you can't father well you can i mean you
09:14can't obviously another man can't carry a baby you kind of you know bum babies but you know you can
09:19find a lesbian or you could find a surrogate mother who wants to you know carry the baby and you can do
09:26that i mean we can have children it's not like it's not like back in the olden days you know we can
09:30you can have two dads now you know so when you say bum baby is that something they're working on
09:40um the debt's increasing and now now now can you put your no i don't want that i just want you to
09:49turn and face the wall all right come on really drive it rob really drive it as hard as you can
09:56okay now now rob rob rob rob hard and fast okay that's it now go again go again don't slip just
10:04okay was that uh deliberate or accidental accidental okay when you said another big story from 1989 i
10:11imagined it would be something big that happened in 1989 rather than bollocks is it no it was in all
10:18the papers our researchers found it in the papers that's not the eye can you just do that again
10:33that's lovely i can do it again all night i'll do that you dance
10:38i'm not touching there's nothing you're getting your head unnecessarily far into the groin area
10:46there i'm not actually actually that is essential to the mime now frankie boyle is very good because
10:52i did um i did have i got news for you with frankie boyle yes he's very good he's funny he just comes
10:57at you wait he comes out with good lines have you booked him uh well uh no but i come on book him then
11:02i mean he's in obvious oh yes get him in the bag boil in the bag boy bring him to the boil yeah bring the
11:07show to the boil bring boil to the show yeah that's good boil in the bag yeah he's he's bubbling he's
11:13boiling over yeah get our show to boiling point yeah uh russell howard i've got more frankie boyle
11:20jokes um you're doing it deliberately because you're uncertain okay so instead of going up swiftly
11:26you're going up slowly you're thinking shall i put my hand here shall i put my hand there right
11:32shall i get another credit card shall i shall i pay off this debt shall i pay off that debt
11:37shall i i understand shall i go and see the bank manager i understand
11:44i think what's happening here is that it's i'm being stitched up on the mime round you can do sexy
11:48dance with whatever that sexy girl that you said whatever her name is yeah that was the idea that
11:53you could do a sexy you know it's so predictable i think i'm being stitched up on this round uh and
11:58made to look stupid every week frankie my confidence is at a high now given that that's just an event
12:03from another dimension it's one of those things like it's a tabloid nonsense where you can't go
12:09that's actually a news they're not going to be teaching kids this in history classes put it that
12:12way yeah it's the lambada oh well done sorry i was watching kate well don't miss him or we might go
12:19off the boil yes well i'm gonna i'll bring his aid if you if if if he comes and i fall out with him
12:24i want to off the show we're gonna launch the boil yes yeah um is that all of them or you got more
12:39katie boil boil i said that's all i've got
12:43it just looks like uh like like like a scrambling if you do that then you then you are insulting uh
12:56the person that the commercial is being pitched at i think with the greatest respect it's aimed at
13:01fat ill-educated unemployed northerners well the greatest will in the world i don't think you can
13:07insult them well you know did you know you and i know that this is going to be on in the day before
13:13countdown in between stand-up baths and other debt companies it's a daytime commercial and it is aimed
13:20at people obviously who are at home during the day and some of them will be unemployed and some of
13:26them inside that may very well have health problems yeah we ought to try that look at that he's climbing
13:32up an indoor climbing wall that might get rid of our debt what did you say i can't hear you because
13:37i'm so fired if you ask me what happened in 1989 they will tell you the berlin wall came down and
13:43they won't tell you the lombarda fever hits the uk was the summer of 89 we all went lombarda crazy we
13:48didn't it didn't happen did you well i didn't no no one knows anyone who actually went crazy the only
13:55thing i can remember doing in 1989 was writing the word boobless on my calculator so i certainly wasn't
14:00doing the lombarda i'm curious i have a natural curiosity yeah for for all aspects of life i mean
14:06that's one of the reasons i am what i am you know that's why i'm a good writer yeah because i'm
14:11interested in stuff like that so me asking you this is no different to me meeting an accountant
14:15and asking him you know how does it work how to do this pretty boring though that's yeah that's
14:20pretty boring the same oh this is quite boring homosexuality is the same as accountancy
14:25to me in a way it is yeah it's something i'm not interested in right no i'm never going to do it right
14:30um i might occasionally pay someone to do it for me a man no well the accounting not the uh yeah
14:41i mean i might might be tempted to attempt a double entry with the accounting
14:48i'm not talking about um penetration
14:52climbing the mountain you think you're never going to get to the top you can't see your way up
14:56okay now you find a hole to your left your left your left left left yeah okay i cut uh
15:04well yeah uh can you come down now yeah uh i just want to have a a little chat
15:12oh god i wrote the story about lambarda did you meet anyone who was lambarda crazy
15:18it's just one of these things so do you not meet dave lambarda stop it i can't
15:28wop hey ben hey hi it's me yeah i know your name come up on the phone all right um look
15:36i'm gonna be a bit late all right why uh you know the the advert i'm doing yeah all right well as i
15:44speak to you i am dangling on a rope about 30 feet in the air right well don't sound too concerned
15:52it's jammed i can't get that oh it's jammed it's jammed and i'm i'm sort of stuck get me rory bremner
16:00rory bremner well i can i mean i i do know i know his age well get me rory bremner someone like him
16:05would be fantastic right okay because let me finish yeah because he's not as good an impressionist as
16:12people think he is you mean as you in some areas no i think in some impressions i am better than him
16:18i think my anthony hopkins is better than his and i would say that if not to his face well i would say
16:24it i would i have said it i would on his back yes he's not good at anthony hopkins right i'd say it to
16:31his face so get have you got an anthony hopkins question not yet no right we'll find one find a
16:39question that tees up an anthony hopkins impression why why don't you just ask him to do the impression
16:46well because we're better than that can you do anthony hopkins uh yeah well i can yes yes
16:51come on let's have a hop off
16:57you have to have very very deep i had they see you know um talks
17:01very thoughtfully you know going back and very very shy in his in his own life isn't he not he very
17:07shy at speaking as himself one of those things all right watch this i want you to search the house
17:13for dust and dirt technically this shouldn't have happened it's technically impossible they say it's
17:21never happened before so but it is safe it's not going to suddenly release and no no no no no it's
17:27it's perfectly safe it doesn't look very safe well it it does to be fair yeah i do feel safe i mean i feel
17:34like it and go like that yeah no i mean you can i mean you could you know you can stay there for
17:40for the rest of the day and be perfectly safe can you do him in the world's fastest indian in the
17:45world's fastest indian yeah ready great film that oh yeah yeah i'm doing it i'm doing it hang on
17:51my name is bert munro
17:56i want to be fascinated in the world anytime i do an accent i just do this
17:59like this i don't matter what i am i talk like this i want a room with a view i want to see a tree
18:05thank you thank you thank you thank you one nil
18:18well hiya you all right you down i'm still here
18:25what bloody hell what is going on i can't feel my legs i can't feel my bum
18:32my feet are throbbing i mean you're outside you in a studio no i mean i'm indoors i'm in a
18:40climbing center and i'm just dangling on a rope
18:43hang on i'm doing a mine
18:49okay sorry that's a mime
18:51boop boop boop boop
18:56okay sir right here
19:01yes is it australian tv hits an all-time low
19:06very hurtful
19:07look at that we made that in the office looks like it
19:13that's actually to be honest that's meant to be a satellite and that's actually a space station
19:17that was a bit of a cock up but okay it's all space isn't it so
19:22heavy any thoughts no are you going to do tony blair at any point
19:28not now no i've done ken bruce
19:38he's doing it he's doing it here it comes
19:42i i just i think if anyone can do an impression it'll be rory rory
19:46rory's the king of impressions don't say that in front of rob
19:48i'm just slightly worried by the time this goes out you know he'll be in prison so no
19:52i could play a play a record for you on pop master if you like to me
19:58and uh tony braire written to us from parkhurst prison and he says uh dear ken get me out of
20:04here well are you cold i don't know if i'm cold because i can't feel my legs what i mean what are
20:13they doing why is no one on there actually getting you down by now there should be someone just to
20:17kind of get like a crane or something just to lift you down they said they're worried that if they
20:21try and release the mechanism it's the safety you know the safety rope right when you do a climbing
20:26wall and then you can just push off the wall and you go all the way down that has jammed so they're
20:32worried that if they try and release the mechanism i'll just you know fall to the ground did australia
20:37just decide decide to have um no not decide i guess australia got satellite tv well basics and kate's in
20:45the diary room i don't know what the fuck she's saying as usual i did rise with her once and she
20:50was thick as pig shit then and that was her show i thought you meant you you did no i mean you know
20:55she did that breakfast thing on channel four story we were looking for was the launch of sky television
21:01oh well that's obvious now isn't it yeah well it is a satellite a television and a koala bear
21:09what else could it be so who do we have on this week we have on this week russell howard
21:16russell howard frankie boyle rory bremnab bit of a coup well russell howard's a coup for us i mean
21:22we're very excited about russell howard i'm excited if you're excited that's great yeah well he's a very
21:28exciting talent is it yeah yeah he's fantastic oh that's good it's good for the show isn't it then
21:34yeah good well it's nice i think this is the kind of um the triumph for the show in a way is that we
21:39have the kind of old guard in rob and then this sort of new wave alongside him in you know the russell
21:46howards and um have you seen him on never mind the buzzcocks oh russell howard hmm
21:52this is suicide i'm taking on bremna this is it's like the most middle-class rap-off i've ever seen
22:0750p takes on half a shilling
22:12rory and i have comfortable lives there's nothing to be ashamed of in that
22:15he's good i mean he's just um witty very witty witty well exceptional he's very exciting oh good
22:24well i will look out for you i'll send you love i'll be here oh you'll be here okay cool yes
22:30if russell's yeah if russell's here you're here actually you're not that far away from the truth
22:36well no just purely in terms of you know if you have exciting talent then it's nice to to witness
22:41that talent at work good yeah everything else okay everything else is brilliant working with rob
22:54close your eyes you're up on a mountain okay you're stuck there it's kind of howling with wind and it's
22:59really cold and you're thinking oh i'm never going to get out alive no one's ever going to find me
23:03and from a distance you can see this big furry creature you're like what the hell is that
23:07and it bounds closer towards you you realize it's a saint bernard and you're like i recognize that
23:12saint bernard that's ben the saint bernard and i'm like ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff
23:18and you're like ben ben ben ben ben i used to think he was a tosser now i think he's all right
23:24so that's nice isn't it yeah rob's good
23:26i think i better dance now
23:33pussycat pussycat i love you but society frowns on it
23:40i come over to you and i've got a big canister of whiskey around my neck and i lean down towards you
23:45and i pop the cork out the canister of whiskey and you put your mouth to it and you open your
23:49mouth really wide and i just pop it in there and i just drop a couple of drops of whiskey in your mouth
23:54and you're all kind of you know you're all kind of happy and you're warm for a little while and
23:58i just lick your face really gently i'm just licking you all over your face really gently while
24:03you're there and then you just close your eyes and then when you wake up you're at home
24:09because the rescue party's come and got you and you didn't even realize because you were so content
24:13with me
24:16well you've seen stephen fry talking about depression wait till you get a load of this
24:20that was horrible that program about depression because he's such a wonderful man that you find
24:24yourself watching it going oh i wish i was depressed yeah he was glamorizing it he really did
24:32so you know with all shows you can kind of look at um where you've come from and i mean if for
24:40example for this show yeah first series is terrific this series is better yeah i'm here and then next
24:46series again it's gonna be yeah better yeah i don't know if i'll be here the next series but we don't
24:51know who'll be here
24:58i'm missing you here it's not been saying about you here today i didn't think i'd say that but i just did
25:04that's it it's time to lock the door on 1989 and throw away the key thanks as always to our sterling
25:19team captains jane moore and dave gorman and our panelists rory bremner russell howard frankie boyle
25:24and kate lawler well that looked really well yeah what time should we save it tomorrow
25:38nine nine thirty half an hour in bed oh nice can i ask you something um
25:48what was your first gay experience
25:54it was in an underground car park seriously yeah there was this uh guy
26:03about your height your build kind of brown eyes
26:08sinning kept asking me loads and loads of questions about homosexuality and then one time i was
26:17walking down the street i just knew i had this niggling feeling in the back of my head that it just
26:21you know you wanted to get in my pants and he came close to me one day and i i remember because
26:28that shirt reminds me because he wore a lot of striped shirts and uh god i'll never forget it
26:39he came right close to me and he started like just you know whispering to me about
26:44that i'll see you tomorrow oh all right well i'll tell you the rest tomorrow then
26:52thanks to you at home for watching good night
27:04are you facing a mountain a mountain of debt no matter how high you climb you feel you'll never
27:21reach the top
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27:48team at dsf a call together we'll get to the top of the mountain there's quite a view garlic bridge
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