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00:00Um, Griff, I, um, I've sat you next to me for, uh, for a reason.
00:07I, um, oh, see, oh, see, oh, God, what?
00:11What's that all about, then? All that, all that sort of thing, then?
00:15All that, yeah.
00:16Oh, don't know, mate. Oh, don't know. Go on, marvellous.
00:18You can do me better than I can do Mel. That's the trouble.
00:21I have sat you next to me, right?
00:24So I'm there, you're there.
00:26I thought we could do a thing, if it's all right with you, OK?
00:28I don't tread on each other's, but we do the sort of the head-to-head.
00:31We do the old Mel.
00:32No, no, no, just me finish, because I can do you very well.
00:35All that, they all said all about, you know, all that sort of thing, right?
00:37No, no, I, um, no, no, I think it's great, but I just don't want to do it,
00:42because it's very sort of, um, local news.
00:46Every time I appear on a local newspaper, they will say,
00:48can we do the head-to-head, Griff? You know, I'll be Mel, you, you know,
00:51I don't, I, it's all so sort of last year.
00:54I do understand, but it is just one of the impressions I can do very well,
00:57and I feel it'd be a waste not to.
00:58Oh, well, that's all I need, and what's that all about?
01:00Yeah.
01:00It's my old dad. He, uh, he died, yeah? The, the big C.
01:04What?
01:06He was a c***er.
01:11Sorry, I forgot the mic.
01:13Doesn't remember his own sketch.
01:15I don't remember the old sketch.
01:15Sorry, sorry, I apologise about that.
01:17Sorry.
01:18Try again.
01:19Yeah.
01:19I think what it is, right, because Rob's so excited about having Griff,
01:22Rhys-Jones on the show, he sort of said,
01:24let's try and just slim the whole show down
01:26so there'll be more bantering time between the two of them.
01:29I know Rob's very excited about that, so,
01:31in fact, he's weirdly excited about that.
01:33Mm.
01:33Just like a child.
01:34Because I would, I'd rather be Griff.
01:36No, no, that's right, you'd be Griff.
01:37Yeah, go on.
01:37Right, so you, so you have to say,
01:39my dad died.
01:40Yes.
01:40But, of course, my, uh...
01:43My dad, um...
01:46But that's supposed to be me, isn't it?
01:50Yes.
01:50Yeah.
01:51So you want me to be Mel?
01:53Yes.
01:53Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense, does it, really,
01:55one way or another?
01:55Well, I think it'd be quite surreal.
01:58Hang on, sorry.
01:58Right, right.
01:59So, yeah?
02:02Yeah, but he's, um, he's not going to do that, does he?
02:06Nice chance, mate.
02:07I'm going to leave you.
02:08I'm going to go.
02:10What's all that, then?
02:14All that, all that, all that, all that.
02:15Well, my, yeah, old man, he, uh...
02:17Your old man, yeah.
02:17I'm feeling a bit low, mate, cos my old man, he, uh...
02:20Your dad, yeah, your dad.
02:22Yeah.
02:23He passed away.
02:24Oh, dear, oh, dear, what, yeah?
02:27Oh, yeah, what, what?
02:30Who's the big C?
02:31Well, the, what, the cancer.
02:34No, he drowned.
02:35LAUGHTER
02:36LAUGHTER
02:37APPLAUSE
02:38Oh, hon, hon.
02:41APPLAUSE
02:41APPLAUSE
02:42APPLAUSE
02:48Oh, thank you.
02:48Thank you very much.
02:51I understand that, it's fine.
02:52You might have...
02:52Yeah, I've said it.
02:53I've said it.
02:53I've said, don't do all that stuff.
02:55No, all right.
02:56I ain't gonna like it, it ain't gonna work, so...
02:57OK.
02:58So, it's fine.
02:59It's fine, sir.
02:59It's fine.
03:01All right, great.
03:01You all right, Yabby?
03:01No, let's do it.
03:02You've got water and stuff?
03:03No, let's do it.
03:03Yeah, someone should watch you out?
03:04Yeah, good, good, good, good, good, good.
03:06How can we preserve this very old, uh, building?
03:10Well, uh, we shall be restoring it, uh, to art series on Sunday afternoons here on, uh, BBC, uh, what?
03:19LAUGHTER
03:20LAUGHTER
03:21Gavin Henson must be gutted.
03:23There's also one of me dressed as a surfer, which is, uh, gorgeous.
03:26Is that good?
03:27Yeah.
03:28Did they use your body for that, Rob?
03:29How did it come to the conclusion that you were the face of Wales?
03:32Because I'm a high-profile Welsh person.
03:34Well, you're not Welsh.
03:36I am Welsh.
03:37Is he Welsh?
03:38Face it, Rob, face it, Rob, at heart, OK, you are a middle-class Englishman.
03:43Yeah, you are.
03:44You're a cultural transvestite.
03:45You've betrayed your roots.
03:46You're a Welshman dressing.
03:48Right, it's not me.
03:49It's not me.
03:50Who would you have as the face of Wales?
03:52Ah, the list.
03:52Tom Jones.
03:53Tom Jones, he's too good.
03:54Gareth Edwards.
03:55Gareth Edwards, he means nothing to you.
03:57Hugh Edwards.
03:57Hugh Edwards.
03:57The iconic rugby player.
03:59Hugh Edwards.
03:59Charlotte Church.
04:00Charlotte Church, it needs to be a man.
04:02Why?
04:03Rolf Harris.
04:04Sorry, I could have sworn I heard Rolf Harris, then.
04:06Actually, can I just say, we have just concluded that there aren't many famous Welsh people, so, Rob, you crack on me.
04:12I have been chosen above others as the face of the Welsh tourist board.
04:16But you hate the Welsh.
04:18That's irrelevant.
04:18I am the face of Wales to a lot of people now.
04:22They can't.
04:23They can't.
04:24They can't do it.
04:25They can't do it.
04:26The campaign is ready to go.
04:28Well, why don't they choose someone?
04:29Because they wanted somebody who represented Wales now.
04:34Kelly Jones from the Stereo-Francis Welsh.
04:35Too small.
04:36You'll see him behind the horse.
04:37Even smaller.
04:38Even smaller.
04:38Yeah.
04:39Even smaller than Dominic.
04:40And to be fair, in that way, you are like Wales, that you do kind of share the same qualities, small.
04:46Yeah, small.
04:47There you go.
04:48Hang on.
04:48Irrelevant.
04:49There we are.
04:50Small, irrelevant.
04:51Good.
04:51Bitter.
04:52Bitter.
04:53Very bitter.
04:53Very bitter.
04:54And entirely funded by our hard work.
04:57A little bit of satire, then, at the end.
04:59Very good.
05:00You're a peninsula.
05:01And when Prince Charles visited Canada in 1976, the Inuit gave him the title, Ataniyaut Ikenigo.
05:13Say that again for any blind viewers.
05:17Ataniyaut Ikenigo.
05:20Can anybody tell me what it means?
05:22Well, I know the story, but as for coming up with a funny headline...
05:25The bloke with the big ears.
05:26A very strong anti-royal stream of vitriol coming from this side.
05:33No, it's not.
05:33Yes.
05:35I'm really excited.
05:38Particularly because, you know, it is in Wales.
05:41And it's for Wales.
05:43So, I can honestly say I couldn't be more excited.
05:47Wanker.
05:50Have you met Jane?
05:51You'd get on.
05:54Yes.
05:54The wanker with the big ears.
05:55It's time to wave goodbye to all those cliched images, you know.
05:59The beer swilling, leek munching, rugby boyos.
06:02And move forward.
06:02Yeah.
06:03With someone like yourself, who represents a more modern, vibrant Wales.
06:09Maybe with an Australian accent it would help.
06:10Ataniyaut Ikenigo.
06:13Ataniyaut Ikenigo.
06:14Come on, Griff, you're intellectual.
06:15Son of big white chieftain in type queen person.
06:19Do you know what?
06:20I was going to say, son of big white chieftain who calls her slitty eyes.
06:23It's as good as.
06:27It's a peninsula, what does it mean?
06:30It means a piece of land which...
06:32Yes, I know that.
06:33But how am I a peninsula?
06:34I'm small.
06:35I'm irrelevant.
06:37I'm...
06:37Bitter.
06:37I'm bitter.
06:38I'm very bitter.
06:38I'm very bitter.
06:39I'll give you that.
06:40And I'm funded by...
06:41Our hard work.
06:42Can you stick out, like...
06:45Maybe your jaw, Rob?
06:46Can you stick out?
06:48What's your...
06:48Shaped like that?
06:52Don't know.
06:52I don't know.
06:53I don't know, Alice, but...
06:54Charles meets Diana for the first time.
07:00That's a...
07:01That's a little unpleasant thought, that, isn't it?
07:04Sorry?
07:05You heard.
07:06No, Griff.
07:13What?
07:14Shut up.
07:15Don't say anything?
07:16Well, I'm sorry, but no.
07:17I didn't want you.
07:19Griff.
07:20I didn't want him.
07:21Oh, right.
07:21I...
07:22I wanted Tom Jones.
07:24Griff, we tried for Tom.
07:26He said no.
07:27Shirley Bassey.
07:29She said no.
07:30No, she does Mark Suspensley.
07:31She had a church.
07:32Her crisps.
07:33No, Griff, we've been through all this.
07:35These people are huge stars.
07:36There's no way they were going to do it.
07:38Rishi Vance?
07:39Oh, I wish.
07:41Perhaps it's, I could get you work with Andrew Lloyd Webber.
07:43I know him, you know, and I've got a plan.
07:46You could be in one of my Sound of Music type shows.
07:50Not a funny man.
07:52Um, rumour has it he's been working on some jokes, so...
07:54You might want to tell him not to tell his jokes.
07:56Really?
07:57I think if he just plays mean and be's a headmaster,
08:00the audience will think it's pantomime and they'll go with it,
08:02but if he starts, I've seen him on things.
08:05Really?
08:06And when Dad tells you to get into the Marines,
08:08say you'd prefer to be a musician.
08:12Well, we heard that he wanted to sort of branch out
08:14into something a bit different
08:15and just really kind of push the comedy button, so...
08:17OK.
08:18Sorry.
08:18Sorry.
08:19Were you going to say something?
08:20No more.
08:20We all agreed in the end that Rob was a far more sensible option.
08:24He was very available.
08:26I wanted somebody Welsh.
08:28I am Welsh.
08:31Proper Welsh.
08:32I...
08:33What it is.
08:33I'm not being funny.
08:35You, to me, are not Welsh.
08:39You are what I call gay.
08:43Gay.
08:44Good as English.
08:50OK.
08:51Well, I'm sure you're a very busy man, Rob.
08:53I do try to...
08:54Ah, that's it.
08:55Go on, you piss off.
08:57Very nice to meet you.
08:59Rob, you don't mind.
08:59Very nice.
09:00Do you have a picture?
09:01You have a picture?
09:02Oh, absolutely.
09:02I celebrate our big picture.
09:09Wanker.
09:11Fingers on buzzers.
09:12What news story from 1969 could this be connected to?
09:16The bedding.
09:17John Lennon.
09:17Yoko Ono.
09:19Well, can you wait till Rob puts these on before you say that?
09:24Once he's put those on, do I have to wait for the Scouse accent?
09:26You know, we were just hanging out, you know, in a bed and doing John Lennon.
09:29That's Ringo Starr.
09:31Doing Lennon.
09:32We were hanging out for a while in a bed, you know, in Amsterdam, and it was great fun.
09:37All right.
09:38He'll do some sort of accent.
09:40Yeah.
09:40Probably Ronnie Corbett.
09:42I'll never forget the day we just recorded...
09:47We just recorded back in the USSR, and I said to Ringo...
09:54Remember the two Ronnies doing their bedding?
09:57The two Ronnies, yes.
09:58He says they went to Tokyo, didn't they, and they spent a week in bed to protest against peace.
10:02And every night, when they went down, he said, it's goodnight from me.
10:05LAUGHTER
10:06And industrial news.
10:08I'll be covering everything round about here.
10:10The Scottish sweet maker, Milan McConaughey...
10:13Good meet-in?
10:16Um, yeah.
10:17All right.
10:18The door sees me.
10:19Hello?
10:23Hiya.
10:25Yeah.
10:25No, I just left.
10:27HE LAUGHS
10:28Very Welsh indeed.
10:30Yes.
10:33Yeah.
10:33Well, the next one, I hope.
10:35About three hours.
10:37All right.
10:38There's lovely.
10:39All right, then.
10:41Have the lava bread ready for me now when I get back.
10:44All right, so on.
10:45See you.
10:45It's a bit fussy.
10:46They could have got a fan or a sheet.
10:49Seems extravagant, doesn't it, to travel halfway by the...
10:52He was a pop star.
10:52Well, they had lots of fans and most of them didn't give a sheet.
10:54I have to tell you.
10:55Oh, very good.
10:57No, that's a funny line.
10:59Why did that not get a laugh?
11:00They said that's a funny line.
11:01That was very good, wasn't it?
11:02I'll tell you what, watch this, watch this.
11:04Hey, they had a lot of fans, none of them gave a sheet.
11:07Oh!
11:09At the end of that round, that's going to get...
11:11Dave's team, one point, and Dave's team, one point.
11:15How much do I owe you?
11:20No, it's okay.
11:21No, unless you give you something.
11:22No, it's okay, honest, no problem.
11:24All right.
11:30Well, it was good to see you.
11:32It was good to see you.
11:33I wish I could see more of you.
11:34I'd like to see more of you, too.
11:36Come on.
11:36Oh, come on.
11:38It's good to see you, Dad.
11:40Let me run you up in the car.
11:42Yeah, right, it's London, it's too far.
11:43It's only five hours there, I'm black.
11:45Look, I could stay away, we could go to the pub, we could do a few things together.
11:49You're always saying...
11:49Yeah, I know, and I do mean it, but, you know, this week is a very busy week, so...
11:54You've never got time for me, have you?
11:55Don't sulk.
11:56I'm not sulk.
11:57Um, look, I'm going to miss the train.
11:59Don't sulk at...
12:00Nixon wonders why his new TV only shows the Astronaut Channel.
12:07Nixon admires his collection of gay dwarfs.
12:12Guys, there's 10% off at Burton's window this week.
12:15It's a great suit, I promise.
12:18Nixon offers...
12:19If Rob said that, people would buy that suit.
12:21Hang on, hang on.
12:23Nixon offers...
12:23Hang on.
12:24I'd let it go if I were you.
12:26No, it's going to get a hell of a laugh.
12:29There's 10% off at Burton's this week.
12:32It's a great suit, I promise you.
12:36Bastards.
12:40What's that?
12:42Surprise!
12:43Bloody hell.
12:44Dad!
12:44What the hell are you doing here?
12:47Eh, you were lovely, aren't you?
12:49Are you Welsh, love?
12:50She's lovely and she can't be with you.
12:53What are you doing here?
12:54Oh, lovely to see you as well.
12:55Is he always like this?
12:56Right, it's lovely to see you.
12:58It's a bit of a shock.
12:59So, you know, are you ill?
13:00Is there something the matter?
13:01No, I'm lovely.
13:02You forgot the easement.
13:04What's that?
13:05It's the artwork for the campaign.
13:06It's the photos from the tourist boat.
13:08Oh, give us a look.
13:09Really good?
13:09Oh, some great photos in there.
13:12Wait a minute.
13:13Oh, there's some great photos in there.
13:15How have you seen them?
13:16You drove up.
13:17Listen, boy.
13:18Take a break.
13:19Tiredness kills.
13:20Look what happened to you.
13:21Yeah.
13:21What?
13:21I was not tired, was I?
13:23I was drunk.
13:24What's that?
13:2419 years of age, he drove into a post.
13:27Office.
13:29Mind you, he didn't have a bump for a year after that.
13:32He was banned.
13:35And that's the end of the round.
13:43Yes.
13:43So they could have been born or died in 1969.
13:46Or indeed married.
13:47Or married.
13:48Or married.
13:48Okay, all right.
13:49Well, I'll know when I come on again.
13:52Like we're going to get a third series of this.
13:54Oh, we both said, how surprised we were to get a second.
14:05In private, we said...
14:07Two monkeys in a bath.
14:12One monkey said the other monkey.
14:13What a lovely, lovely guy.
14:15Thanks very much.
14:16Not you, you pig.
14:18You're dead.
14:19For future reference, if I'm going to say someone's lovely, it's probably not going to be you.
14:23There's a new shampoo for you.
14:24It's called Shoulders.
14:25You keep doing down this show.
14:28We're enjoying it, aren't we?
14:30And the audience are enjoying it.
14:31The people at home are enjoying it.
14:33Rob's sort of enjoying it.
14:36If you had his advertising contracts, you wouldn't be here.
14:38I did have his advertising contracts.
14:43Oh, it's a lovely atmosphere.
14:46Oh, Steve, I'm your biggest fan, but because of you, I can't get in the pictures on Wednesday nights.
14:51Why not the one with Stephen Seagull, when you blew him off the golf show?
14:54Yeah, that's the one I'm not in.
14:57What about the Patrick Swayze?
14:59Was he little?
15:00No, average.
15:01Weird skin like a lizard.
15:03Strange.
15:03Are you going to do any more then?
15:05Yeah, I've just done four more.
15:06Four more?
15:06Yeah, so as soon as the money comes in, hopefully.
15:08You know, and I do that, like, four days a year.
15:10And then this is the bread and butter stuff.
15:12Yeah, I'm brilliant.
15:14Yeah, it's a bit...
15:15It's not ideal.
15:16No.
15:17But I thought it was great then.
15:18He's terrible, isn't he?
15:19Rob.
15:20How long are you staying with us?
15:22I'm going to have you for a couple of days now, I think.
15:24They're putting you up in a hotel.
15:26Oh, fabulous.
15:26He's paying for it, is he?
15:27I hope he is, eh?
15:29Five stars.
15:30You can see for all the stars.
15:31The old roof.
15:34Very good.
15:35You should be on the show.
15:35I should.
15:36Yeah.
15:36So you put a word in for Rob, maybe get him on the show?
15:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:39You can.
15:40Well, can I get his autograph now?
15:41Yeah, yeah, of course.
15:42Yeah, I haven't...
15:43Rob!
15:44Rob, have you got a pen?
15:46So what are you doing for St David's day?
15:48I'm going to a private members bar and I'm meeting a director.
15:52So what, are you going to take your daughter?
15:55I'd stick her, like, sore thumb.
15:57You cock!
15:58He'd show me up.
15:59You miserable cat.
16:02He'd love to do something like that.
16:04I'm going to a private members bar.
16:07There's no way I'm taking my father.
16:09Yeah?
16:10There you go.
16:11Oh, lovely.
16:12Oh, my God.
16:13You're wearing a leak.
16:15Well, it's St David's day.
16:16Listen, I got one for you.
16:17Take it.
16:18Put it away.
16:19I'm not wearing a leak.
16:20Look at you.
16:23Look at you.
16:24An absolute liability.
16:27Now, listen.
16:28It's not a pub.
16:29It's a members bar, OK?
16:31So don't get drunk, right?
16:33Another fight.
16:34Absolutely no singing.
16:40Oh, great.
16:41Wow.
16:42Who's here?
16:43Director.
16:43He's cancelled.
16:44Cancel?
16:45He's supposed to be out in ten minutes.
16:46I know.
16:47Hey, can't think about you, boo.
16:49Right, we'll have these drinks and then we'll go.
16:52I'm going to the toilet.
16:53Stay here.
16:54It's not a pub.
16:57I love the way she told him not to get too excited.
17:00Can you?
17:00I'm alone, apparently.
17:02I might get too excited.
17:03As I said earlier, take your time with this one.
17:07Do you have a cloth handy in case anything gets spilt?
17:12That's going to be a killer.
17:13What should you reenact that?
17:14Yeah, thanks.
17:15You'll be doing it with Olivia Lee.
17:17You could, off the top of my head,
17:18you could bend her over the desk
17:19and it would be funny because it would look sexual.
17:22Sorry, Jane.
17:23Is that the order in which this happens?
17:25Do you actually,
17:26you've got a pretty girl on my team,
17:28do you find ways to bend her over a desk
17:30and look for stories to back that up?
17:32Is that how this happens?
17:33No, no, no.
17:34Dominic and Curtis, that's actually their job.
17:39All right?
17:40I told you to take it off.
17:42Yeah, Tom, what do you think?
17:43Oh, I love these.
17:45Smash in.
17:45Hey, Rob, have you met Rissie Vance?
17:47Yeah.
17:48No.
17:49I mean, in a way, no.
17:51In a way, yes.
17:53Because I've seen you in the films.
17:55I feel like I know you.
17:57Notting Hill.
17:59Yeah.
18:03And the one with Hugh Grant.
18:05Yeah, that's Notting Hill.
18:06That's Notting Hill.
18:06He saw it twice.
18:12Nice one, Tom.
18:13Cheers, babe.
18:16Nice one, Dad.
18:17Is Hugh in position?
18:18Don't get too excited.
18:21What kind of show is this?
18:23But the show does book people for that purpose,
18:26but I'm the patsy who's in the position
18:28of saying, oh, bend over the desk.
18:30Lucky you.
18:31No, not lucky me.
18:32I think lucky you.
18:33I'd kill to do what you do, Dave.
18:35If people watched this show,
18:37I'd be more pissed off about this.
18:38Rissie Vance.
18:40Oh, dear.
18:42Tall, aren't you?
18:43I am tall.
18:44Yeah.
18:44I'm short.
18:45I'm short.
18:45I'm short.
18:46Yeah.
18:46Yeah, yeah.
18:47Pete.
18:48Don't be warm.
18:49Oh, well done.
18:50Yeah.
18:50That's very good.
18:52Oh, yeah.
18:52The one-legged sketch.
18:54Mr Spigot.
18:54That's right.
18:55Yeah.
18:55Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:57Well, you've got the parts.
18:58You've got the role normally associated
19:02with a two-legged man.
19:04That's right.
19:04Go on.
19:05Huh?
19:06Just do a bit.
19:07Yeah.
19:09It's not matter.
19:12He's off duty, Dad.
19:13Don't put pressure on him.
19:15Be gentle.
19:18Oh!
19:18Be careful.
19:19Hold the mic.
19:20You can go.
19:20Get a...
19:21You can hold on.
19:22Oh, yeah.
19:23No, it's not your round.
19:25It's okay.
19:27Stop it.
19:27Have you just passed wind?
19:28No.
19:30I didn't stop it.
19:31Although, if it was happening, we would have done.
19:34Does she actually know that she's going to be required to be bent over a desk?
19:37She might not be comfortable with that.
19:39She's one of those presenters who pops up in her pants regularly on the front cover of magazines.
19:44I'm sure she could.
19:44Right, and that makes her game for anything.
19:45That makes her, like, yeah.
19:47She's asking for it, is she?
19:48All right, yeah.
19:49That's kind of why she was booked.
19:50She's from a bending over capacity, yeah.
19:53Do you want me to ask Rhys Iffons?
19:57He's a...
19:57I think North Whale, isn't he?
19:58He's managed...
19:59Actually managed to pull off being sexy and Welsh.
20:02Rubbish.
20:03This is practically impossible.
20:04One good film with the Notting...
20:06You know, where he was the...
20:08Where he was the Welsh...
20:09Don't pretend you don't know the name of the film.
20:10No, it's Notting Hill.
20:11But where he was the Welsh flatmate.
20:14And since then, what's he done?
20:16Nothing.
20:17Absolutely nothing.
20:19What are you up to at the moment, Rhys?
20:20Well, I'm finishing a film in a couple of days.
20:23Then I start another one on Monday.
20:25Then I'm doing a play in the West End.
20:27Then another film.
20:29And then another film after that.
20:31Yeah.
20:31What about you?
20:33Same.
20:34I got a film.
20:37Ah, he's taken out of boots to get it developed.
20:42He's in those film four posters.
20:44Oh, brilliant.
20:45You'd love to be in those film four posters.
20:49I'm the face of the Welsh Tourist Board.
20:51Is Ewan McGregor the face of the Welsh Tourist Board?
20:54Is he?
20:56Well, no.
20:57Obviously, because he's Scottish.
21:00Yeah, hang gliders.
21:01Hang gliding, hang gliding championship.
21:03Hang gliding winner.
21:04First two are hang gliding.
21:06Riffrease Jones has got it.
21:07No, he was not a kid.
21:08He was getting it.
21:09He was getting it.
21:10Richard Park has got it.
21:11You're the face of Wales because you're Welsh.
21:18So, I mean, that's...
21:18No, no, no, no, no.
21:19I'm not Welsh, I'm not Welsh, I'm not Welsh.
21:21I am from Wales.
21:24And there is a difference, right?
21:26Anthony Hopkins, from Wales.
21:28Tom Jones, from Wales.
21:31Richard Burton, from Wales.
21:33Charlotte Church, Welsh.
21:38Cuffins, Eder Jones.
21:39Knew you'd say that.
21:42Catherine Zeta-Jones, exception that proves the rule.
21:44She is both from Wales and Welsh.
21:48Riffrease, Robert, he's not Welsh, but he's from Wales.
21:51What do you think?
21:52Well, I'm Welsh, aren't I?
21:53I'm here.
21:54So am I, so am I.
21:55No, no, you said you were from Wales.
21:58What's he like?
22:00Croesw i gam, Riffrease.
22:01Croesw i gam.
22:02Da iawn ti, siarad Cymraeg.
22:04Llo'n gyfrifiadau, do'n i.
22:05Ma'n gwybod bod ti'n rigil yn o'i iaith Cymraeg.
22:07Nid i ateb i'n cwestiwn i fi.
22:08Wyt ti'n go, Cawen?
22:10Wyt ti'n go, Cawen?
22:14Da i go 50-50?
22:15Wyt ti'n go, Cawen?
22:17Burning down the house for the insurance.
22:22I'm making a bogus claim.
22:25Come on.
22:28Gosh.
22:29Righty.
22:31I'm like you.
22:33To me, it is a wonder why I'm not in my fucking papers,
22:37cos I get rat-assed.
22:39Oh, seriously?
22:40Seriously?
22:41And I've done cocaine.
22:43Bolivian marching powder, I call it.
22:45Oh?
22:51Yeah?
22:51OK.
22:52Any other questions, cos I'm going to have to go in a minute
22:54and let you guys think about jokes?
22:57What if I'm bent over the desk?
22:59She's booked, so you can bend her over a desk, really.
23:01But she doesn't know
23:02that she's been booked to be bent over a desk, so...
23:05Dave, I don't really want to get into a debate
23:07about tacit sexism in the media,
23:09but I think she knows why she's been booked.
23:10I love you.
23:16I do.
23:18I love you.
23:19I love you.
23:22He loves me.
23:23I believe the lady loves me.
23:25Have a drink.
23:26Drink me in.
23:28No, I do.
23:29Tell him.
23:30Bloody love him.
23:31I bloody love him.
23:33You make me Welsh to be proud.
23:36Bugger it.
23:37I couldn't give a monkey to nose it.
23:38I couldn't give a monkey to nose it!
23:44I don't have all your films.
23:45Let's face it, you made some shit.
23:48I want an inquest on this.
23:49How many people, when they walked into this studio,
23:52would say,
23:52yeah, 1969, yeah,
23:53that's when the first hang gliding happened?
23:56I'm being stitched up in this round every bloody week.
23:58This happens to be a convention of hang gliders.
24:01Who all knew the answer to that, didn't you?
24:06Yes, you just wanted to see them fuck it up like that.
24:10This show is on a downward spiral, Dave.
24:13Last series, Venn diagrams.
24:15At least a faint nod to something a little intellectual.
24:19This series, every episode,
24:21I end up having to bend a girl over a desk
24:23for faintly sexist reasons
24:25that I end up being accused of,
24:27and it's actually the show's fault.
24:29Dave, you know, if you wanted to save lives,
24:32you should have become a doctor.
24:33You are a comedian on a panel show.
24:35I'll see you both later.
24:41Now, technically,
24:42I am a doctor.
24:45I got an honorary doctorate
24:47from Staffordshire University last year.
24:50I've got nothing against your neck,
24:51leg, Mr Spigot.
24:53The problem is,
24:54me to have you.
24:56Do it, man, do it.
24:58Come on.
24:58You know what?
24:59It's like the punk days again.
25:03For a bonus point,
25:04can anybody tell me
25:05what the collective name
25:06for a group of hang gliders
25:07flying together is?
25:09Morons.
25:11Hanging gliders
25:12is not the right answer.
25:14Hang gliders.
25:15Retard?
25:16Gaggle?
25:18A gaggle is the right answer.
25:19It's a collective noun
25:27for hang gliders.
25:29It's a gaggle,
25:30just like lions.
25:30Really?
25:31At the end of that round.
25:32So it says in this one
25:38that you had a leak
25:39stuck up your arse.
25:42Does it actually say that?
25:44Well, no,
25:44it says you had a leak
25:45stuck up your A,
25:46asterix,
25:47asterix,
25:48E,
25:48but I just sort of presume
25:49they're meant arse.
25:50Unnecessarily.
25:52It could be...
25:53Axel.
25:57Did you have a leak
25:58stuck up your Axel?
26:00No.
26:01It's probably arse then.
26:04Peanut?
26:05Want a peanut, Rhys?
26:07Tea buns?
26:08Want a peanut?
26:09Have a peanut, bud?
26:11I'll tell you what,
26:13the best,
26:13I can't think it happened to you.
26:15I will take you outside
26:16and I'll whip you
26:18a fucking ass!
26:20I will whip you
26:21a fucking ass!
26:23Come on!
26:23Outside with me now!
26:25Then we'll see
26:25who's the big man.
26:27All right?
26:27Outside now!
26:28He was terrifying.
26:30Was he?
26:31Yes.
26:33He's like a hellraiser.
26:35You know,
26:36when he gets a drink
26:36inside him,
26:38he just...
26:39he changes.
26:41Okay?
26:41It started off,
26:42we were getting on
26:43like a house on fire.
26:44Then all of a sudden,
26:45a few drinks inside him,
26:47he's aggressive.
26:48After he gets aggressive,
26:49he starts making threats.
26:50After the threats,
26:51he's got to act on it,
26:51otherwise he has to back down.
26:53Yeah, yeah.
26:54Next thing you know,
26:54he's pummeling me.
26:56What's the matter?
26:56Can't go to town.
26:57Can't hear you.
26:58A little closer.
26:59A little closer.
27:00I want a room with a view.
27:01I want to see a dream.
27:02All the beans and kianti.
27:04All the beans and fucking kianti!
27:06You big string of lanky,
27:08tough piss!
27:09You bloody nothing!
27:11Right, come on then.
27:12Let's do it.
27:13Let's do it.
27:14Come, hey!
27:15Whoa!
27:16All right, all right.
27:17Hop in here.
27:18Reece Evans has a serious drink problem.
27:21A serious drink problem.
27:22I've never seen it.
27:23He's like Jekyll and Hyde.
27:24Jekyll and Hyde.
27:25Because he's Welsh.
27:27See?
27:27It's good still.
27:28Yeah, still there.
27:29I can't turn it off.
27:30I can't turn it off.
27:31Even in pain.
27:32Even under anaesthetic.
27:34When you've taken as many Nurofen as I have,
27:36it's borderline anaesthetic.
27:37I'm scared of counting down for 20.
27:40I think I'll pass out.
27:41Don't do it then.
27:44I've lost the campaign.
27:46Why?
27:47Because they don't think this is the face of Wales.
27:51Really?
27:52Yes.
27:53Because this doesn't give a welcome in the hillside.
27:56This says, come along, we'll duff you up.
28:00You do look a bit craggy.
28:03Well, thank you for your concern.
28:04I'm touched.
28:06All righty, that's it.
28:07It's time to seal up the box marked 1969
28:11and put it back in the warehouse of history.
28:13Thanks to you at home for watching.
28:15You're right.
28:16All righty.
28:38You're right.
28:38See you.
Recommended
28:47
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