- 13/05/2025
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:30I'm sorry
01:00I knew this day would come
01:14Still, she had to go sometime
01:30I met this girl when I was travelling
01:34Whose dad had to go to war
01:37But he was crippled
01:38And so because she wasn't what her parents wanted
01:41I mean, not that Amber wasn't what you wanted
01:43But, you know, she was different, like a tomboy
01:45So she stole her dad's armour
01:49And went to war instead of him
01:51And then they won the war because of her
01:54That's Mulan
01:55Mulan, yes, that's her name
01:56Do you know her?
01:56It's a Disney film
01:57It's a Disney film, yes
01:59Yeah, and there's a song in it
02:01Which is about how she wants to look in a mirror
02:05And then seeing her real reflection
02:08And I think that's probably a bit how Amber's feeling
02:12Like Mulan?
02:14Yeah
02:15Eddie Murphy does the Voice of the Dragon
02:18Certainly, to my mind, his third best film
02:20Does anyone want a drink?
02:23A bit early for that, innit?
02:25Yeah, go on then
02:26I was thinking more like a tea
02:29Are you worried about Amber?
02:33Nah
02:34She's got three languages and a Dutch cap, she'll be fine
02:37Cheers
02:38You are so blind
02:42You so do not understand
02:44You weren't there at the beginning
02:45You don't know how good it was
02:47How important
02:48This is it for you?
02:49This jumped up firework display of a toy advert?
02:53People like you make me sick
02:54What's wrong with you?
02:56Now, I don't care
02:57If you've saved up all your 50p's
02:59Okay?
03:00Take your pocket money
03:01And get out!
03:05What a prick
03:10Tim, can I have a word with you in my office?
03:17Yes
03:17Have a seat, Tim
03:26Twiglet?
03:31I'd better not
03:31I was like you once
03:34Blonde hair
03:35Scraggy little beard
03:37Childlike ears
03:38Full of beans and spunk
03:41I let my principles get in the way sometimes
03:44I punched a bloke in the face once
03:46For saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish
03:48Good for you
03:49Yeah, thanks
03:50But that's not the point, Tim
03:51The point is
03:52I was defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity
03:55When what I should have said
03:57Is, Dad, you're right
03:58Well, let's give Krull a try
04:00And we'll discuss it later
04:02The Phantom Menace was 18 months ago, Tim
04:06I know, Bilbo
04:07Okay, it just
04:08It still hurts
04:09You know, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll
04:11Kids like Jar Jar
04:12Why?
04:13What about the Ewoks?
04:14Huh?
04:15They were rubbish
04:16You don't complain about them
04:17Yeah, but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft
04:21I've had enough, Tim
04:22But Bilbo
04:23Look, I know how you feel, right?
04:24I really do
04:24But this can't go on
04:25What are you trying to say, Bilbo?
04:29I'm gonna have to let you go
04:31Phew!
04:36I thought you were gonna fire me, then
04:38I was like
04:40Look at that
04:47Right, Daisy
04:53I'm off to work
04:54I should be back in a couple of hours
04:55Mike
04:56Mike
04:57Have you got any money?
04:59Oh, if you mean actual currency, no
05:01I'm sure that I had some
05:03But it just seems to have just gone
05:05Oh, I should, you know, get off
05:08You didn't sort of borrow it
05:10You know, kind of just go through my pockets and
05:13Steal it
05:13God, I'm sorry
05:14I'm sorry
05:15God, that sounded really bad
05:16Erm, did you steal it?
05:18No!
05:19Sorry
05:19No, you're right
05:20You're right
05:20Just have a nice day
05:22Yeah, thanks
05:23Mike
05:24What do you do?
05:26I've never asked you
05:26If I tell you that
05:28I'll have to kill you
05:29Well, is it like a secret?
05:32No
05:32Hi, Bright
05:39Gone
05:42What's gone?
05:44I can't paint
05:45Yes, you can, Brian
05:46You're very good
05:47Mine's just blank
05:49And I haven't painted anything in months
05:51I don't know what's wrong
05:54Well, maybe you should try
05:56Approaching the canvas in different ways
05:58I have
06:00I mean, how do you tackle a creative block, Daisy?
06:16Well, I'm actually very, very fortunate
06:19Erm, I rarely suffer from writer's block
06:21I'm extremely prolific
06:23You're very lucky
06:24Yeah, I know
06:25Erm, have you got any money, Brian?
06:28It's just I've got to go and sign on today
06:29And I can't afford to watch that
06:31Can't you go to the bank?
06:34Please, just a tenner
06:35I haven't got a bank account
06:40They closed it
06:41I'm really, really worried
06:43I haven't signed on for three months
06:45And I didn't tell them I was going away
06:47I'm sure you'll be all right, Daisy
06:49You know, they're reasonable people
06:51Please, just a tenner
06:54Tim?
07:04Sam, I've got a...
07:06Is everything all right?
07:17Yes! Why?
07:19No reason
07:20I've lost my job
07:25What?
07:27Why?
07:33Not Phantom Menace
07:34Better go
07:38All right, Brian
07:39Good luck with your blockage
07:40Oh, oh, there's a letter
07:42I came for you
07:43Thanks
07:44Sorry about your job, Tim
07:46Yeah, I'm sorry about your uncle, Brian
07:49Come on, mate
07:57It's not as if he hasn't fired you before
07:59You know, and he's a reasonable bloke
08:00I'm sure if you just went and talked to him
08:03You can sort it out
08:03I don't think so, Daisy
08:04He said he had somebody coming in for an interview this afternoon
08:07Well, one thing's for sure
08:09There'll be no Tim Bisley
08:11Well, it all seems to be in order
08:14When can he start?
08:17Come on, Tim
08:18There'll be other jobs
08:19Anyway, what about your comic?
08:22You know, I'm sure the comic industry's desperately in need of a giant, you know, mutant bear with a radio
08:27Special clause
08:29You've just got to get out there
08:34Yeah, well, I'm scared
08:36Of what?
08:44Nothing
08:44Come on
08:46I was about to go and sign on
08:48Why don't you come with me?
08:49Okay
08:50Why don't you lend me the bus fare?
08:52Okay
08:53Yeah
08:54You have got a very special talent, Tim Bisley
08:58Sooner or later, it's going to make you a lot of money
09:00Yeah, thanks, Daisy
09:02I just
09:02I wish I had another special talent to fall back on
09:05Dear Brian, I hope this letter finds you well
09:22And that you're not finding being a lawyer too stressful
09:24Sadly, I'm writing with bad news
09:27Your Uncle Kevin died in his sleep last weekend
09:31Whilst driving to stains on the M4
09:34We hope you can find time in your busy schedule to come to the funeral
09:38Which is next Thursday
09:40Lots of love, Mum
09:42I'm frightened, what are you going to say?
09:59I'm just going to tell him I was ill and start crying
10:01Look, that's you, new claims
10:03Where?
10:03There
10:04Oh, yeah, okay
10:05Good luck
10:07Yeah, you too
10:08Hello, I'm Daisy Steiner
10:29I had an appointment at 10.30, I'm late
10:31Daisy Steiner, you need to take an A-B form from the stand and then join the queue
10:38How long will I have to wait?
10:44I'm sorry, I don't understand
10:46Just write the form
10:47How long have you been unemployed, Mr. Beasley?
10:58About an hour and a half
11:01Have you been looking for work?
11:02No
11:06Why did you leave your last job?
11:09I got fired
11:10Why?
11:11It's a difference of opinion
11:13The Phantom Menace
11:16Yeah
11:18Didn't you like it?
11:22No
11:23Well, leave this with me
11:27I'll get you some money out in the next few days
11:30Hello
11:41Brian, it's me
11:43Hello, me
11:43How are you?
11:44Very well, thank you
11:46I miss you
11:47Miss me too
11:51Would you like to come out for drinks later?
11:54Yes, please
11:55Then I could come and stay at yours
11:57I don't have to work tomorrow
11:58We could stay in bed all day
12:00So don't forget to wash your sheets
12:05Right
12:06And your penis
12:08Okay
12:09Bye
12:11Bye
12:13Bye
12:13Ah, no
12:29No, no
12:29This is the A-B form
12:30You need the A-B form
12:33Capital B
12:33What?
12:35I've been here for over an hour
12:37Just over there
12:38I'm just down
12:39Is this it?
12:48Okay
12:48You want to sign on again?
12:50Yeah
12:50Right
12:51You last signed on three months ago
12:52What have you been doing for the last three months?
12:56I've been ill
12:57Do you have a doctor's note?
13:04No
13:04I lost it
13:05Look, this shouldn't be a problem
13:09I just
13:10I just want some money
13:11You've always given me money before
13:13You sure you haven't been on holiday or something?
13:16Me?
13:16God, no
13:17I couldn't afford that
13:18Not on my income
13:19So thankful
13:20What are you doing for the last two months ago?
13:21I'm not getting married
13:21I'll be here for the last two months ago
13:23You bastard!
13:26What can I say?
13:27She liked me
13:28What am I going to do?
13:29I've got to pay the rent
13:30What can I say? She liked me.
13:32What am I going to do? I've got to pay the rent.
13:34Can't you just write some articles?
13:36It's not actually as easy as that, Tim.
13:39I can't just pluck another winter skincare do's and don'ts out of the air.
13:43Why?
13:48Yeah, well, maybe poverty will inspire you.
13:52Look, it's not as bad as all that, all right?
13:54Mike's given us a few good every week.
13:56But what if he wants to move out?
13:58Well, at the moment, you know, he's happy.
14:00Besides, it's not as if it's going to get a better offer by the time we get it back, is it?
14:04Eh?
14:18Mike, do you mind if we...?
14:20What are you doing?
14:21Well, Marsha has kindly offered me the position of lodger, which I have duly accepted.
14:26But, Mike...
14:28No, no, no. You've been kind enough to let me stay, but now you're back, Daisy.
14:30I think it's only right I should be moving on.
14:32Yeah, but we like having you here, Mike.
14:34It'll be fine, Tim. I'm only upstairs.
14:36We can see each other every day.
14:38We'll be able to legitimately use our walkie-talkies without having to go to the park.
14:42Ready then, Mike?
14:43I will be with you in one second, Mrs Kane.
14:45Here is them, the new lodger.
14:47Just as well.
14:49Hardly ever see the other one.
14:51Yeah.
14:52Brian's spending a lot of time with Twist.
14:54I mean, I hardly see her.
14:56I sometimes hear her.
14:58Yeah, he was up earlier on. I think he's having some kind of creative crisis.
15:09Serves him right for getting his knackers in a twist.
15:13Come on, then, Mike. I'm looking forward to having a big, strong bloke round the house.
15:18Who's that?
15:19You, you pillock.
15:20Oh, right.
15:24He's funny, isn't he?
15:34Any thoughts?
15:35Well, I'm going to have to get some new batteries from a walkie-talkie.
15:38Not about our situation.
15:40We're both unemployed.
15:41I'm getting no benefit. We need money.
15:43How else am I going to afford aspirational magazines?
15:46Well, I'm going to get a job.
15:48Why?
15:49You've just signed on. You don't have to.
15:51I like working, Daisy, you know?
15:52It's the smell of the ink.
15:54You know, the taste of the biscuit.
15:55Giving the little ones advice on their latest purchase.
15:57People like you make me sick.
16:00Yeah, well, yeah. So do I. Love working.
16:03I was a barmaid once, and I loved it, you know.
16:06The hustle and bustle of a busy bar.
16:08Can I get some service, please?
16:10Oh, fuck you.
16:12What can I say?
16:13We are good with people.
16:15Absolutely.
16:16And that's what writers do, isn't it?
16:18You know, they take unrelated jobs in order to make money and gain experience.
16:23Now, I attempted in this office once, and, you know, there were some great characters.
16:28You know, real fodder.
16:29There was this guy, Tony.
16:31Oh, what did he say?
16:36Anyway, anyway, that's what I'm going to do.
16:42Oh, okay.
16:43Well, you know, everyone does things they don't want to do sometimes.
16:46You know, I mean, Mike isn't really doing what he wants to do, but he just makes the best of it.
16:48Does he?
16:50Move!
16:51Move!
16:52Move!
16:53Don't look at me!
16:54Move!
16:55Well, I am going to go to one of those temping places and put my name down for a job.
17:00That's the spirit, Daisy.
17:01New Horizons.
17:02Pastures green.
17:03Change.
17:04And not the small kind.
17:05Why is that funny?
17:07Why is that funny?
17:08I don't know.
17:11You worked at a comic shop before?
17:13Um, yeah, at the Fantasy Bazaar.
17:15Fantasy Bazaar?
17:16That's Bilbo Bagshot's shop, isn't it?
17:19Yeah.
17:20Why'd you leave?
17:22It's a difference of opinion.
17:23Hmm.
17:24Phantom Menace?
17:26Well, yeah, and I wanted to change.
17:29Okay.
17:30When can you start?
17:32I'm sorry?
17:34When can you start?
17:37So, what kind of work can you do?
17:44Sorry.
17:46What kind of work can you do?
17:49Well, I'm creative.
17:51Um, but, you know, I'm at home in the normal office environment.
17:56Um, equally comfortable.
17:57You know, the hustle and bustle of an eatery.
18:00So that's anything, then?
18:02Yes, yes, anything.
18:03Yeah, I'm desperate.
18:07Yeah.
18:08Everything all right?
18:09Oh, yes, thank you, Mrs K.
18:24Well, give us a shout if you need anything.
18:26Okay, then.
18:28Anything at all?
18:30Okay, then.
18:31I like to think I'm an approachable landlady.
18:35Okay, then.
18:40That's great.
18:41So, anything you want.
18:44Just ask.
18:46They're a key to this lock.
18:51Hello, Brian.
18:53No.
18:56Aren't you gonna invite me in?
18:58It's a bit busy.
18:59Doing what?
19:00Nice to see you've tired it up a bit.
19:11Thanks.
19:12Daisy was telling me you're feeling a little dry.
19:16Everything okay?
19:18Mm-hmm.
19:20Yeah?
19:22Don't know, Marsha.
19:24Just can't seem to get inspired.
19:25You know, it used to come so easily.
19:28Thought I'd cracked it this morning.
19:30Got a letter saying Uncle Kevin had died.
19:32Next thing I knew, it was painting.
19:33Couldn't stop.
19:35Twist called and lost it.
19:38Just went.
19:40You know what your problem is, Brian?
19:43What?
19:45You're happy.
19:48I think you'll find you dried up the minute you started seeing twit.
19:54Do you think so?
19:56Well, it's obvious, innit?
19:58You cannot have your cake and eat her, Brian.
20:02Contentment is the enemy of invention.
20:06Oh, my God.
20:08Funny, innit?
20:09You were so prolific when we was at it.
20:15This is awful.
20:17Innit?
20:18What a dilemma.
20:20I can't believe this.
20:22It's so depressing, Brian.
20:25You must be really worried.
20:28Yes.
20:30Angstry.
20:32Inconsolable.
20:36Yes.
20:39Right, I'm off.
20:42Mike's cooking beans.
20:44Then we're going to polish his guns and watch the A-Team.
20:47Bye.
20:59I love it when a plane comes together.
21:01Hello, silent reading.
21:03Yes, we do stock Jar Jar Binks merchandise.
21:06Yeah, we've got him in cuddly form, lunch box, action figure and key ring.
21:10No problem. Bye-bye.
21:11Well done, Tim.
21:12You've just taken your first step into a larger world.
21:15All right, Derek.
21:17Bilbo?
21:19I was wondering if I could have a chat with Tim.
21:20Certainly.
21:21I'll put some tea on.
21:22Do you want a cup, Tim?
21:23Yes, please.
21:24Yes, please.
21:26Ha!
21:27These should mount his collector's editions behind the counter in full time.
21:28Well done, Tim.
21:29Well done, Tim.
21:30You've just taken your first step into a larger world.
21:32All right, Derek.
21:33Well done, Billbo.
21:34I'll put some tea on.
21:35Do you want a cup, Tim?
21:36Yes, please.
21:37Ha!
21:38These should mount his collector's editions behind the counter in full view.
21:41Not hide them away at the back of the shop.
21:42The man's insane.
21:43Do you want to talk to me about, Bilbo?
21:44So, how's it going?
21:45Yeah.
21:46I'm fine.
21:47I'm fine.
21:48I'm fine.
21:49I'm fine.
21:50I'm fine.
21:51I'm fine.
21:52I'm fine.
21:53I'm fine.
21:54I'm fine.
21:55I'm fine.
21:56I'm fine.
21:57I'm fine.
21:58I'm fine.
21:59I'm fine.
22:00I'm fine.
22:01So, how's it going?
22:02Yeah, it's all right.
22:04What's Derek like as a boss?
22:07He's okay.
22:08Don't really agree with his policy on vintage comic display.
22:14Look, Tim, I'm sorry I sacked you, right? It was a mistake.
22:17Oh, what? Things like working out with the new guy?
22:19You could say that.
22:21Hawk the Slayer's rubbish!
22:25I see.
22:26Will he come back?
22:27Well, I like it here, Bilbo.
22:29What makes you think I want to come back?
22:32This.
22:34Look, Bilbo, this is Tim.
22:36Look, please can I come back?
22:38I don't like it here.
22:42You got that, did you?
22:43Tim, I would have come in anyway.
22:45The place is just not the same without you there.
22:50I'm already there.
22:52What?
22:53I mean, I'll come back.
22:55Oh!
22:57Yeah, you frightened me for a bit, no?
23:00I'll have to give my notice here, though.
23:01Well, can't he just get fired?
23:05Derek!
23:07Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!
23:10Get out!
23:11Yay!
23:12Yay!
23:26I got me job back.
23:27Yay!
23:29I got me own room.
23:30Yay!
23:32How's Brian doing?
23:33He's standing in the garden with no clothes on.
23:35Yay!
23:36How about Daisy?
23:38Er, she got a job in a bookshop.
23:40She'll be all right.
23:42Erm...
23:43Yeah.
23:44Yay!
23:45Excuse me.
23:46Excuse me.
23:47Excuse me.
23:48Erm, can you point me in the direction of personal growth?
23:51Fuck you.
24:15S'il vous plaît.
24:17S'il vous plaît.
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