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00:00He has come to walk among us.
00:10This is your chance to witness the head-turning talents of psychic medium Shirley Gosling.
00:17Prepare to believe.
00:30You're famous and dead, do you understand?
00:34Shirley is your vessel, yeah, your high spirit's friend.
00:39High spirits.
00:49Thank you, thank you very much.
00:51Thank you, I'm blessed.
00:52No, I mean, thank you, you're in balance to me.
00:55Come on, I'm all man, I'm all man.
00:57Thank you, I'm all man.
00:58God bless.
00:59Thank you very much.
01:00God bless.
01:01Hello, I'm Shirley Gosling and this is High Spirits.
01:05I welcome you here tonight regardless of colour, creed or weight problem.
01:11And I ask you to join me as we bring reality and fiction just that little bit closer together.
01:20Okay.
01:22Alright.
01:23Okay, ladies and gentlemen.
01:24Now, I'm a medium and I know what you're thinking, it's more of a large.
01:29He knows what I'm talking about.
01:31But what I'm trying to say is that I'm in touch with the spirits.
01:34And all that doesn't mean I've got a friend what works down odd bins.
01:38She knows what I'm talking about.
01:40Okay, alright.
01:41I had a really cheeky email this week from Sue in Derby who said, watch the doughnuts, Shirley, you put a bit of weight on.
01:50Well, my answer to you, Sue, is success brings money and money buys food.
01:57That's why this little lady down here is titchy.
02:00He knows what I'm talking about, don't you?
02:03Yeah.
02:04Hold on a minute.
02:05Where are my manners?
02:06I bloody forgot to introduce Sheba.
02:08Ladies and gentlemen, she's the canniest canine in heaven.
02:13My spirit guide, Sheba.
02:15Come on, darling.
02:16Come on.
02:17Come on.
02:18Come on, Ruth.
02:19Oh, Ruth.
02:20Come back.
02:21Come back.
02:22Come back.
02:23Come on.
02:24Don't take time to make friends later.
02:25Come on.
02:26Alright.
02:27Okay.
02:28Sit yourself down.
02:29Sit yourself down.
02:31Sir, you with the glasses.
02:33Are you thinking of moving?
02:37Or have you just moved?
02:39No.
02:40Okay.
02:41Have you moved a room around the house?
02:44Yes.
02:45And what did you do?
02:46Did you move the whole room?
02:47No.
02:48No, I just moved everything.
02:49No, that's not what they're showing me.
02:50Okay.
02:51It's smaller.
02:52Okay.
02:53Think smaller.
02:54An object?
02:57Because I'm getting some sort of cup.
03:01Have you moved a cup?
03:03I wouldn't be able to say.
03:05Have you moved a cup, lifted a cup and put it into a cupboard?
03:09Yes.
03:10Yes.
03:11Okay.
03:12I'm getting today.
03:13Yeah, I did.
03:14Okay.
03:15Would I be right in saying that?
03:16Do you understand?
03:17Yeah.
03:18Okay.
03:19They're telling me you like chocolate.
03:22No.
03:23It's not for you, is it?
03:25Okay.
03:26Who likes chocolate?
03:28Someone here likes chocolate.
03:33Shirley Gosman's powers allow him to look not just into minds, but into bodies too.
03:42Have you had a heart transplant?
03:43No.
03:44Oh, you've got that to look forward to.
03:48What's this about forcing air out?
03:52Okay.
03:53All right.
03:54There are other ways, darling.
03:56All right.
03:57There are other ways of being popular amongst your friends.
04:02You don't have to just do little fluffs.
04:05All right.
04:06To impress people.
04:07Because what you're going to do is end up in your forties with a ruptured anus.
04:16Okay.
04:17Put this forward.
04:18Now raise your head up.
04:20Okay.
04:21Bend your knees.
04:23More forward.
04:24Okay.
04:25Head up.
04:26Okay.
04:27This is going to feel awkward, but just try and walk around the room.
04:31I feel like a monkey if I do that.
04:35Well, that's it.
04:36I don't know if you actually made a connection in your head there, but that's where we evolved
04:40from, if you understand.
04:41I realise that.
04:42Okay.
04:43So why don't you walk around like that every day then, if it's such a problem?
04:45Because I, okay, am a little bit better than the likes of you because I've got special
04:50power.
04:51Okay.
04:52What the spirit gives me.
04:53Okay.
04:54And I've got Dustin G looking after me.
04:56Who?
04:57Dustin G.
04:58Dustin G.
04:59Yeah.
05:00Have you had, you know, weevils in your lunchbox?
05:03You know what I mean?
05:04A bit more specific.
05:05What do you mean?
05:06Okay.
05:07I'm getting widgets and niggling with your muffage.
05:10Noodles in your...
05:13Yeah.
05:14Yeah.
05:15Okay.
05:16Yeah.
05:17Right.
05:18Okay.
05:19I'm just going to jump up here.
05:20What you need to do is just jump on top of me.
05:21Okay.
05:22And I'm going to read you through my body.
05:23So lay like you were, but on top of me.
05:24No disrespect to you or to me, but I don't lay on top of no one.
05:25So why am I going to be laying on top of you?
05:26Put your arms by your side and just relax.
05:27Okay.
05:28All right.
05:29Okay.
05:30All right.
05:31Just relax.
05:32I'm just going to feel your cheek.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:34Oh, lovely.
05:35Yeah.
05:36And now I'm going to be able to do this.
05:37You can do this.
05:38You can do this.
05:39You can do this.
05:40You can do this.
05:41You can do this.
05:42You can do this.
05:43You can do this.
05:44Feel your cheek.
05:45Oh, yeah.
05:46Oh, lovely.
05:47Yeah.
05:48I'm not getting anything else.
05:50But I'll tell you what.
05:51You need to watch this area here.
05:53That's what I would say.
05:55This and particularly...
05:57There.
06:00Okay.
06:01All right.
06:02I just want to take a little urine sample.
06:04Okay.
06:05Just take a little urine sample.
06:07What I'm going to do, all right, is get a little bit of spirit weed out of you.
06:12Just relax.
06:13Let it go.
06:14Let it go.
06:15I've seen a hundred times before.
06:21It's definitely pear drops.
06:23It's definitely pear drops, all right?
06:25Yeah.
06:31Right.
06:32I'm getting a huge man.
06:34All right.
06:35Big.
06:38Who is it that tries all the cheese at the deli counter, even though they know they're going
06:42to get pre-packed, and they keep nipping back and tasting the cheese?
06:48Do you understand?
06:50Yes.
06:51Yes.
06:52No intention of buying it, just tasting it?
06:55Yes.
06:56Yes.
06:57Okay.
06:58All right.
06:59Okay.
07:00I feel your pain.
07:01I feel your shame.
07:02But you're not to blame.
07:03They should tell parents, okay, that children have got weak backs.
07:07How are you supposed to know he's getting tired?
07:09You were worried about your bad legs.
07:11Okay.
07:12Okay.
07:13All right.
07:14Okay.
07:18This is Spirit Academy.
07:20Just look at me, darling.
07:21Shirley Ghostman's search for the UK's next psychic superstar.
07:26Get out there.
07:27It's the second week of term at the Academy.
07:47After today's task, one apprentice must leave the Academy forever.
07:56Okay.
07:57First task.
07:58The tarot.
07:59Here are some cards.
08:00You've probably seen them before.
08:01Okay.
08:02And what I want to prove to you is it doesn't matter what cards you have.
08:12All right.
08:13What matters is how you interpret them.
08:15Okay.
08:16We have the steer.
08:17What have we got there?
08:18Okay, here.
08:19So we've got a trainer pig, Alfa Romeo, a Miss Bun picture and a donkey.
08:23Come on.
08:24Let's cut to it.
08:25What was your first instinct when you saw a big fat pig?
08:26Farmland.
08:27Farmland.
08:28Really?
08:29Did you think weight issues?
08:30Piggy, pig, pig.
08:31Yes, it is now.
08:32You're saying it.
08:33You have the rabbit, which is speed.
08:34I see this is quite sexual as well.
08:35Do you understand?
08:36It could be.
08:37Perhaps you're looking for a relationship.
08:38Yes.
08:39Yes.
08:40Yes.
08:41Yes.
08:42Yes.
08:43Yes.
08:44Yes.
08:45Yes.
08:46Yes.
08:47Yes.
08:48Yes.
08:49Yes.
08:50Yes.
08:51Yes.
08:52Yes.
08:53Yes.
08:54Yes.
08:55No.
08:56No, she can't talk about me.
08:57No.
08:58Done yet?
08:59Okay.
09:00Do you?
09:01I can't answer that.
09:02Looking at the dark I've seen that you've actually had a lot of pain in the past.
09:05Oh.
09:06I've also seen depression.
09:08Okay.
09:09And I actually felt that you had been in an abusive relationship.
09:13Is any of this making sense?
09:15It's making a lot of sense.
09:18What about the articulated lorry?
09:20Okay, it means that you're a great conversationist.
09:24Very good. Articulation. Do you understand?
09:28Oh, that's not good, is it?
09:30This is really bad. Ambulance police car.
09:33I can only mean like accident, which is, like I said, not good.
09:37Porsche 911. Car accident comes to mind.
09:41You have the donkey car, which is perhaps laziness.
09:47But donkey is stubborn, and you are stubborn, aren't you?
09:50But also very giving.
09:52Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:55Okay, shushy, shushy, shushy.
09:58Some of you, I think, did very, very, very well.
10:02But somebody has got to go.
10:04Everyone to the psychic circle!
10:11Okay, who's going out?
10:14Think of them in your head.
10:15We're going to point at that person and tell her she's out.
10:20Okay, who is it?
10:24Stella.
10:27All right, are you ready?
10:29Three, two, one.
10:31Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella!
10:34I got the feeling about Stella, and it did end up being Stella.
10:40Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella!
10:42I heard my name being mentioned a couple of times in the elimination round, and it's a pretty awful feeling.
10:47Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella! Stella!
10:49Don't go into the asylum.
10:51Go into the walk of shame!
10:55Okay, crew, let's hold hands.
10:59Okay.
11:01Next week, adrenaline runs high as the master bravely leads his students on a ghost hunt.
11:12Don't go.
11:13Oh my God!
11:16Are you psychic?
11:17Here's a psychic test. What's inside this bizarre doll?
11:28Oh interesting. Now what could be inside this bizarre doll?
11:35Well, I never. I wonder what's inside this bizarre doll? Amazing! What's inside this bizarre doll though?
11:48Did you know?
11:50Well, are you psychic?
11:53Come on Tally. Yeah.
11:57I got a young man who's a bit chubby coming through.
12:03He's saying, who gets puffed out running up a hill?
12:06Who gets puffed out running up a hill?
12:11Yes?
12:14Okay.
12:17I'm getting a song.
12:20I've got a feeling it's your favourite song because it's definitely for you.
12:24Alright.
12:25Come on.
12:27I'm getting a note coming through.
12:29Alright darling, I'm getting a note.
12:32And it's...
12:39Is that the first note of the song?
12:41It could be.
12:43Mmm.
12:45Have you got the song in your mind?
12:47Okay.
12:48Alright.
12:49Just concentrate on it for me.
12:50Alright.
12:51Because what is then is...
12:52Mmm.
12:53Mmm.
12:54Mmm.
12:55Is that the...
12:56Mmm.
12:57Yes?
12:58Okay.
12:59Alright.
13:00Mmm.
13:01Mmm.
13:02Mmm.
13:03Mmm.
13:04Mmm.
13:05Mmm.
13:06What is the song?
13:08It's Sacrifice.
13:09Okay Sheba.
13:10Alright darling.
13:11Bloody tails going ten to the dozen.
13:13Okay.
13:14Come on.
13:15Alton John.
13:16Right.
13:17Okay.
13:18Alright.
13:19God bless.
13:20Love a night.
13:21Okay.
13:22Come on.
13:23High Spirits presents...
13:26The Paranormalists.
13:31Ian Jackson is Shirley's special apprentice.
13:36He's on a mission to uncover the mysteries of the dark arts.
13:40We're going along this path down here.
13:41Down that way.
13:42Yep.
13:43We're going to do a little nice white magic witchfall.
13:44So how long have you been doing witchfall?
13:45Understood supernatural things when I was very young.
13:46Oh look there's some flowers.
13:47You can have them.
13:48No, no, no, no.
13:49Present for you.
13:50No, put them back.
13:51Put them back.
13:52Okay.
13:53That's a member of family has passed away.
13:54You just left them there for their relative.
13:55We normally set up a little altar and temple and that sort of stuff.
14:00Just a few little witchy bits.
14:02Witchy bits?
14:03Witchy bits.
14:04Yeah.
14:05And I'll give you a robe to put on.
14:06And that's used purely just to train your mind in a better sort of touch.
14:07And it does help if you don't shine the torch in the face.
14:08So I can see you.
14:09Yeah, no.
14:10Hold it down.
14:11What are you going to be doing?
14:12Well, basically, I couldn't see a thing there.
14:13Can you shine it down with me?
14:14Yeah.
14:15Can you shine it down with me?
14:16Yeah.
14:17Yeah.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Yeah.
14:20Yeah.
14:21Yeah.
14:22Yeah.
14:23Yeah.
14:24Yeah.
14:25Yeah.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Yeah.
14:28Yeah.
14:29Yeah.
14:30Yeah.
14:31Yeah.
14:32Yeah.
14:33Yeah.
14:34Yeah.
14:35Yeah.
14:36Can you shine it downwards, please?
14:37Yeah.
14:38I would like to get rid of the badness in me.
14:40Yeah.
14:41Okay.
14:42I'm sure we can do something like that.
14:43Have you got a spell that can lose it?
14:44Yeah.
14:45Now, if you want to actually untie that, and it's a robe, it's like putting on a dressing gown.
14:49It stinks.
14:50As I say, the most important thing is that this is all for nice stuff.
14:54Nothing negative or nasty.
14:56I sometimes do things that my nan says are nasty.
15:00Because I went to Miss Wilkins who was sleeping and I licked her face and then her sister got
15:07really annoyed with me and said I was spoiling it for everybody.
15:10Right.
15:11Right.
15:12Because she said that the funeral should be for just the family.
15:17Yeah.
15:18Okay.
15:19So...
15:20Don't mind me saying you do look a little teeny-weeny, but it's only because of the light and that.
15:28But you do look a bit like a man.
15:31A bit like a...
15:32Man.
15:33I'm a man.
15:34But you said you're a witch.
15:35I'm a witch, but I'm still a man.
15:37This chalice is representative of the Earth Mother, the goddess.
15:42Okay?
15:43And the dagger, that actually means combining male and female together.
15:47Now, what I'm going to do...
15:48I know that is the...
15:50Isn't it?
15:51The willy.
15:52Yeah.
15:53And that is...
15:54The woman's naughty bits.
15:55Yeah.
15:56My nanny's got really tiny flossy, but it's ever so hairy.
16:00Your...
16:01Your granny's...
16:02It's got a tiny flossy, but it's really hairy.
16:04Right.
16:05Okay.
16:06Yeah.
16:07You look a little bit like a man.
16:08I'm a man.
16:09Some people say I look more like a bass player of Iron Maiden or an American wrestler than
16:13a witch.
16:14No, but you look like a man.
16:16I am.
16:17Yeah.
16:18So I'm going to say a few little bits of mumbo-jumbo.
16:20And then I'm going to put my hands on you.
16:22Yes.
16:23And try and let this ghost out sort of thing.
16:25Elements of Earth.
16:26Elements of Earth.
16:27From the North.
16:28From the North.
16:29I do summon thee.
16:30I do...
16:31Summon thee.
16:32Okay.
16:33So may it be done!
16:34What would...?
16:35So may it be!
16:36May it be!
16:37May it be!
16:38To procreate and bind.
16:39Procreate and bind.
16:40What?
16:41To procre...
16:42What?
16:43So may it be done!
16:44What is that bit you say?
16:45So...
16:46May it be done.
16:47May it be done.
16:48Go on, shout it.
16:49So may it be done!
16:50May it be done!
16:51May it be done.
16:52May it be done.
16:53Go on, shout it!
16:54Somebody be done!
16:55Better.
16:56What it...
16:57How do you make a witch itch?
16:59Erm...
17:00Take...
17:01Take away the...
17:03what I'll tell you there's one thing you're forgetting about though what do witches normally
17:11have take away the W no look broomstick now itch I'm just going to close the little circle we've
17:19got around us and then we can just walk out have our ordinary clothes back on and then in the olden
17:23days women used to get burnt at the stake yeah but you look like a man I'm a man I would have
17:29been burnt at the stake and hung as a witch as well yeah but you look like a man and it's not I'm not
17:34trying to offend you no it's a witch well anyway I'm gonna do now even though you've got days what
17:41we've got to do now before I do a real spell with half of this stick which will come out the back
17:47your neck um what are you gonna do to me put a stick no no no no no you've got no sense of humor
17:52have you and you know take care of the future yeah see you later mate you do look like you do look like
17:58a man high spirits okay all right okay it's you sir I feel your pain I feel your shame but you're not
18:11to blame you were hungry how are you supposed to know it was their cake hey the figures on the top
18:19look like you and your wife when you got married didn't they yeah it's an easy mistake to make god
18:24bless okay all right come on sheep this is the other side of Shirley Ghostman like gurus the world over
18:35Shirley regards his body as a temple to maintain its perfect condition he is seeking advice on his
18:43diet is you're eating celery which isn't enough it's not enough to keep a mat alive you know let
18:48alone somebody you know is rushing around doing all this TV stuff the pressure of having people in your
18:54head talking the whole time you just want to say get out I mean I don't know how these things work but
18:59can you not politely can I say listen guys it's kind of my time now and just temporarily closed down for a
19:05couple of well not what would you do you know when you get William Shakespeare come through an
19:08evening with a bottle of pillo grigio and some frazzles hello do you have any tables please all
19:14right can I get the salad this one for me please yep and for lady Di could I get she loves the sloppy
19:22Giuseppe yeah and Di would like some red wine okay just house red she's fine with house house red yeah okay
19:32I will be trance channeling lady Di in order to have her drink and food okay that's all right with you
19:38god bless
19:40I mean maybe you could ask the spirits about how you can find a wee bit of time for yourself you can't tell
19:56people like lady Di to go get lost and come back another day because when she's there you've got
20:04to deal with her she's in your face can I get another glass of red wine for Di yeah do you think she's
20:09quite thirsty okay and can you fill that up as well fill that up yeah sure yeah go on put some on there
20:34tell you I blame my mother she taught me how to walk by luring me across the room with a penguin
20:39really yeah and that are you know the old penguin rappers yes I remember distinctly her luring me
20:47back like that Shirley come on come on and and I would sort of follow it yeah and and that yeah is in
20:55me you don't need and I'll explain to you in a sec you don't need to be having me
21:25this very very very sweet foods just put it yeah loads of cream cream ice cream watch you
21:34want it she didn't care okay yeah yeah that's really done hey you thank you I just say I feel
21:45you I feel your pain I feel your shame but you're not to blame yeah if you don't do every once in a
21:50while they'll pop I do a lot of glass now I do a lot of glass yeah yeah yeah I put my number on there
22:11thank you very much not anyone gets my number all right film it you found that yeah come with me
22:16you found it yeah
22:17ghost man mediums use a technique called trance channeling allowing them to put their body under
22:31the influence of a spirit ladies and gentlemen please sure she as I am about to channel a spirit
22:41someone's belly call you can't follow the kernel I can hear a belly rumble five thousand miles away I
23:07wouldn't be much of a restauranteur if I couldn't I know what you all want to ask me what's the secrets
23:15of my 11 herbs and spices simple that's all there is in anyone's cupboard one night I chucked the whole
23:23finger licking lock onto a chicken leg and stuck it in the son of a bitch fryer to be honest with you I've
23:31been on my moonshine and I had the munchies so bad out of eating me on shit again but you know what keeps
23:39the business alive innovation you can't stand finger licking still in the chicken industry
23:46chicken leg my idea folks used to use chicken heads up till then but I said there was too much speak
23:56lemon wipe my idea I originally had a chicken flavored wipe I got to thinking surely if these
24:04folks have just eaten chicken they'd like to taste a little bit more chicken fat on their face wipe
24:09I was wrong on that one child labor my idea I always employed young kids with greasy skin
24:18that way we only have to use half the fat in the fryers because their teenage faces are leaking
24:24into the finger licking pans all day we can save a horse shit load of cash on cooking oil
24:31listen to me giving away all my secrets sometimes I can't stop myself so now you're gonna be making
24:41your old chicken I bet it tastes like horse shit I should learn to keep my finger licking mouth
24:46stubbed it's my chicken I said mine it's my chicken my chicken it's my chicken it ain't soul food it's
24:53why chicken is why chicken is why chicken is why chicken it's my chicken it's why chicken
25:00why chicken oh my god what happened there
25:08B is for babies.
25:17Babies can talk to each other using thought transference over distances of as much as a mile.
25:24Often when a baby is crying, it's because a nearby baby has just insulted its mother.
25:30When a baby wakes in the night, it's usually because an evil spirit has slapped it on the face.
25:35Yes, evil spirits love tormenting babies because babies are unable to grasp them up.
25:43In the womb, babies are listening to everything that goes on around them,
25:47so you have to be very careful not to watch Monarch of the Glen when you're pregnant.
25:53The damage could be irreparable.
26:00Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for joining me this evening.
26:03I'd like to leave you now with a new song from Karen Carpenter,
26:08who's having a great time up in heaven.
26:11She's found a great friend in Linda McCartney, and they've got loads in common.
26:14They're both singers, both part of famous double acts, and neither of them are that keen on flesh.
26:20He knows what I'm talking about.
26:22Okay.
26:22I'd like to say without prejudice that all of Miss Carpenter's new work has produced some good faith,
26:26and I need some knowledge between this and previous work.
26:27My mother Carpenter's set is entirely coincidental to help me, God.
26:29I give you big bones.
26:32And remember, if you don't believe, your kids will die in a fire.
26:36Spook to you later.
26:36Why do folk ridicule my size, shouting, you ate the pies.
26:54Look at me, can't you see?
26:59I'm just big bones.
27:02He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's just big bones.
27:13I'm just big bones.
27:15He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's just big bones.
27:24I'm just big bones.
27:26He's just been born
27:28He's just been born
27:30Easy how this is fucking time
27:32He's just been born
27:34Easy, easy
27:36Okay, all right
27:38Sure
27:40Okay, he's just been born
27:42Okay
27:44He's just been born
27:56Yeah, amazing
27:58Wasn't too sure at first but now I've been sitting there thinking about what he actually said to me
28:02It brings a lot of truth
28:04I'd give him nothing
28:06I can't give Shirley anything out of ten
28:08Shirley ain't done nothing today
28:10Shirley ain't done nothing, I'm telling you
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28:10
28:28
28:05
28:07
28:34
29:00
24:03
23:55
28:56
29:44
1:04:05
1:06:12
50:02
27:37
23:15
22:56
23:36
24:04
29:30
28:13