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00:00He has come to walk among us.
00:10This is your chance to witness the head-turning talents of psychic medium Shirley Gosling.
00:17Prepare to believe.
00:30You're famous and dead, do you understand?
00:34Shirley is your vessel, yeah, your happiest friend.
00:39High spirits.
00:48Thank you very much.
00:49God bless.
00:50I mean, you're embarrassing me.
00:52Stop hitting my heart.
00:55God bless.
00:56God bless.
00:57OK.
00:57OK.
00:58Thimmer down.
00:59Thimmer down.
00:59OK.
01:00Welcome to High Spirits with me, your host, Shirley Gosling.
01:04And I tell you, I'm on fire.
01:07Ladies and gents, I'm glad you decided to join me as we try to bring this and this just that little bit closer together.
01:17OK.
01:19I am so excited this evening, ladies and gents, OK?
01:22I'm getting a really good feeling from the spirits tonight.
01:25And I can tell you, I'm cooking on gas.
01:28I'm like a cheetah with speed stripes.
01:32He knows what I'm talking about, don't you?
01:34OK.
01:35All right.
01:35Fred Astaire came through to me earlier and he said, Shirley, do you know Ginger Rogers?
01:41I said, of course I do.
01:43She's like the village bike.
01:44Everyone's on a ride.
01:46Ginger Rogers.
01:48Ginger Rogers.
01:49He knows what I'm talking about, don't you?
01:52OK.
01:53All right.
01:54Before we start, OK, I would just like to say, having Googled at you through there, all right, you are a very beautiful audience.
02:05OK.
02:11Right.
02:12You know that I wouldn't be Shirley Ghostman without my spirit guide to the spirit side.
02:19She's the shepherdess with the mostest.
02:21Please, give it up for Shiba!
02:27OK.
02:28All right.
02:28OK.
02:29Get off me.
02:30Get off, you little randy fucker.
02:32Get out there.
02:33What's wrong with you?
02:33Not getting ready.
02:34Come back here, you.
02:36And sit.
02:37OK.
02:38All right.
02:39OK.
02:40What have we got?
02:41Whose boobs leak when they get excited?
02:46Do you understand?
02:47Do you understand?
02:51Shirley Ghostman takes time out of his hectic schedule to listen to the views of some unusual inner city residents.
03:00Hello, I'm Shirley.
03:01Hi, Shirley.
03:02How are you?
03:03These are Venus, Serena, and Precious.
03:06Do you want to do the names?
03:07I can do the names.
03:08OK.
03:09All right.
03:09I'm getting one of them is named after a planet.
03:14One of them, I'm getting something calm, so it could be Serene or something like that.
03:17Or, I don't know what the other one's called.
03:20Is it Venus, Venus?
03:24I don't know.
03:25OK.
03:25These sheep are clever.
03:27All right.
03:29OK.
03:29All right.
03:30OK, sweetheart.
03:31Yeah.
03:31Give her a question.
03:31Any general honest question.
03:32Just give it to her.
03:33Who's the Prime Minister of England at the moment?
03:35OK.
03:36Tony Blair.
03:37Can I just say, straight away, they don't like football?
03:41I put it in there for stimulation and stuff.
03:44We give them a couple of balls.
03:45I think you'd be better off with a smaller ball, like table tennis or ping, you know, is
03:50it ping pong?
03:50Is that table tennis, is that the same thing?
03:52Can we check that?
03:52Can we check if table tennis and ping pong are the same thing?
03:54Look at that.
03:56Doing a little...
03:58What's she doing?
03:59Hold on.
04:01Hold on.
04:01They're telling a joke.
04:02The black ones with the whiteheads are telling a joke.
04:05They're saying...
04:05This is brilliant.
04:10They're telling a bloody joke.
04:11They said to me, there were two nuns in a bath.
04:14What is it?
04:15What?
04:16Yeah.
04:17What?
04:18Did something slip down there?
04:20Oh, I've forgotten it.
04:23OK, now this is a what horse?
04:26A Shire.
04:27Yes, I know.
04:28This is a Shire horse.
04:30And the spirits are saying to me, he wants to make a phone call.
04:34What is it?
04:370207-939-00.
04:44OK.
04:48OK, where are we?
04:49You tell us, because we can't hear.
04:51Embassy of Brazil.
04:52Oh.
04:54Yeah.
04:57Embassy of Brazil.
04:58And what they're saying?
04:59Embassy of Brazil.
05:01He's saying he wants to go to Brazil.
05:03Where's a good place to go?
05:04Did you hear that?
05:06I can hear that.
05:07Of course, Brazil has a million players.
05:10If you can tell me where's good for a horse.
05:14Right.
05:15What I can give you, I think the best thing,
05:17it's for you to wait on the website,
05:20because on the website you can have a...
05:21He can't bloody...
05:22Tell her, he can't bloody operate a website with his hooves.
05:24He can't operate a website, so...
05:26He can't.
05:27No, he's got massive bloody hooves.
05:29Oh, she has to go.
05:30Oh, right.
05:30Can she say goodbye to Charlie, please?
05:31OK, can you say goodbye to Charlie?
05:33OK.
05:34Bye.
05:34He's happy, aren't you?
05:36You're happy.
05:42OK.
05:44Who is it that likes travelling?
05:47Because I'm getting a foreign country.
05:50Do you understand?
05:52OK.
05:53All right.
05:54I'm getting the country Brazil.
05:56Right, just bear with me, sweetheart, all right?
06:01It's definitely a connection between you and Brazil.
06:03And let's just work on it and see where we get, OK?
06:07It's something Brazilian, OK?
06:09This is...
06:10Is it a cough?
06:11Is there a drink?
06:13A Brazilian drink?
06:15OK, come on.
06:17The words they're using is,
06:18this lady has had a Brazilian,
06:19and I don't know what.
06:21It might be a waxing.
06:22A waxing?
06:23Am I right?
06:24OK, like, it's all very nice, OK?
06:28But at least she's being honest.
06:29I'm making a connection, OK?
06:31So thank you to Shushi.
06:32Brazilian, and what, it's a waxing?
06:34Yeah.
06:35Is that hair removal?
06:37Yeah.
06:37OK, because what they're saying to me
06:39is, don't worry, it'll grow back.
06:41OK.
06:42All right.
06:43You might have some itchiness, all right?
06:45But it's going to be all right.
06:46Love and light.
06:47God bless.
06:48OK.
06:49All right.
06:50Come on.
06:54This is Spirit Academy.
06:58Just look at me, darling.
06:59Shirley Ghostman's search for the UK's next psychic superstar.
07:04Get out there.
07:05This week at the Academy,
07:18the Apprentices must fight for their place
07:20in next week's grand final.
07:22It is very competitive
07:25because we're all human.
07:29I'm quite happy with the people
07:31that I'm left with at the moment
07:32because we've all got a strong bond
07:33having spent all of last night together.
07:37Sylvia and I are very close,
07:39but Kin just seems to be quite on the outside.
07:44I think possibly Kin might be out next.
07:46I don't know why, really,
07:48and I guess it just does come down to
07:50who I didn't connect with.
07:57And then there were four.
07:59Somebody's going to get knocked out
08:01and they're going to go home crying.
08:04OK.
08:05All right.
08:07Let the task begin!
08:11I've got a whole queue of spirits here
08:13waiting to come through.
08:15We're going to go for a very simple one first.
08:17Yeah.
08:18All right.
08:20You might feel something when this comes on.
08:23OK.
08:27Oh, my...
08:27You can actually see...
08:28I don't know if anyone can see that.
08:30I can actually see a moustache forming on her lip.
08:32Is that you, Adolf?
08:34Yes.
08:35Hello.
08:36Hello.
08:37Um, I hear you've got an apology to make.
08:40To some.
08:41Not...
08:42Not to some jewels.
08:45All right.
08:45Let's leave the Jews out of this, OK?
08:47Because I think you were a bit horrible, weren't you, to the Jews?
08:49No.
08:50No.
08:51Let Leroy from fame...
08:55in.
08:56OK.
08:57Just channel into the psychic energy.
09:00All right, Tommy.
09:02OK.
09:04Hello?
09:06Is that you, Tommy Cooper?
09:08Yes!
09:10Sheba says you've got a new dance to show us, Leroy.
09:12Right, I want you to really concentrate.
09:22This has never been done before, OK?
09:23OK.
09:24We are going to swap spirits.
09:26OK.
09:26Is that you, Ken?
09:35Is there anything you want to ask me?
09:36Something that's like it will take me.
09:38Does everybody say that, do they?
09:40Spirit of Charlie!
09:43Impregnate her!
09:46OK.
09:47Charles Bronson?
09:48Yep.
09:48Of Detoish fame?
09:49Yep.
09:49The spirits are saying you've got some combat moves to show us what you've been planning.
09:53Yep.
09:55All right.
09:59Fantastic!
10:01We're going back!
10:03All right?
10:04And I want to speak to spirit of a caveman.
10:10GASP!
10:11No!
10:14OK.
10:15It's all right.
10:16It's all right.
10:18Calm down, calm down.
10:24You're not rubbish at all.
10:26You're not rubbish at all.
10:28Stop saying that.
10:28You're not rubbish at all.
10:32Ken?
10:39One of you is out.
10:44Three of you are in.
10:48Run away from the person who is out.
10:57Run away from them!
11:00Don't let the bitches out!
11:01Help!
11:02Run away from them!
11:04Run away from them!
11:05Run away!
11:06OK, there's a pattern emerging here.
11:12These three have formed a group.
11:15I'm really sorry, Ken.
11:16I'm really sorry, Ken.
11:19Hang your head and stay!
11:21One of us.
11:22One of us.
11:24One of us.
11:25One of us.
11:27One of us.
11:28One of us.
11:29One of us.
11:29Next week, the student's psychic abilities are put to the ultimate test.
11:49Are you psychic?
11:51I want you to summon the spirit of John Wayne.
11:56Your vibrations may affect the picture on your television set.
12:01Concentrate.
12:03Concentrate.
12:05Keep concentrating.
12:07Don't worry if you can't see him yet.
12:09Just keep trying.
12:11Can you see him?
12:12Oh, well.
12:15Better look next time.
12:20Well, are you psychic?
12:29OK.
12:30OK, Sheba.
12:31All right, sweetheart.
12:32Right.
12:33They're bringing me to this couple here.
12:36OK.
12:37What is it, darling?
12:39They're telling me something about you two.
12:42OK.
12:42And the relationship isn't working out.
12:48OK.
12:49Do you understand?
12:51How long have you been together?
12:55No.
12:56OK.
12:57Because that's what they're saying.
12:58All right.
12:59They're saying to me, there's difficulties.
13:01OK.
13:01And you need to put a little bit more oomph back into your sex life.
13:06OK.
13:07And do you understand?
13:08OK.
13:08You need to sort it out.
13:10Because they're saying you're very different people.
13:12All right.
13:13Because you, you're into your music, aren't you?
13:15Yeah.
13:15Yes.
13:16OK.
13:17Loud music.
13:17Fast cars, driving around, OK.
13:19And you, you're into just sitting in, watching the telly, having a little cry and eat some chocolate.
13:24And the two of you aren't compatible.
13:26People, you really need to work on this, otherwise you might as well break up.
13:31That's what they're saying.
13:32Do you understand?
13:34I don't know each other.
13:36Sorry?
13:37We actually know each other.
13:39Good.
13:40Because they're saying you're not suited.
13:41OK.
13:42Love and light.
13:42God bless.
13:43All right.
13:43They're saying it's a no-go.
13:45OK.
13:46OK.
13:48High Spirits presents The Paranormalists.
13:55Ian Jackson is Shirley's special apprentice.
14:00He's on a mission to uncover the mysteries of the dark arts.
14:04Hello, I'm here with Bernard, who is going to tell me about aliens.
14:16You know, I think perhaps it's important to realise that there are other dimensions out there.
14:21And when we start thinking about the fact that there are many stars out there, and each one of those stars...
14:2954 I counted.
14:30Well, there's many more than that, I believe, out there.
14:33And what is an alien's favourite food?
14:36What is it that they eat?
14:38It's not something that they've ever actually transmitted to me about, but it's a good point.
14:42It's a smash.
14:44I have seen that, and I see where you're coming from in connection with that.
14:48Because there's so many things that humans are inflammable, and they get so many things wrong there.
14:54It's like boots doesn't sell boots, and curries don't sell curries.
15:01And selfridges do actually selfridges.
15:05Well, of course, that's looking at it in a very logical way, and that's a good example of the way in which the majority of the human race does look at things.
15:16I'm going to try to channel an alien at this point.
15:21Do you think you could contact my family?
15:24Yeah, absolutely.
15:25So I'm going to meditate now for a moment, close my eyes and tune into the vibration of the higher vibrations of alien beings and see what we can pick up.
15:33Could you ask them if this is the right colours of my super suit?
15:36Yep, I will do my best.
15:38We'll see what we can get.
15:40If you can just bear with me just a minute there, Ian.
15:44Today we're asking for connection from the higher vibrations to answer some questions for Ian and indeed the human race.
16:00Now, I feel a strong vibration beginning to build, and I feel that there is a higher vibration beginning to come through.
16:09And I sense almost immediately a change that is beginning to take place in the vibrations of my mind.
16:22I feel that there is an alien being here.
16:30His name is Zeon.
16:32I am Zeon from outer galaxies.
16:37Hello, Zeon.
16:38Hello, Ian.
16:40Do you know anything about my parents?
16:43Your question earlier of absorbing the vibration of the fifth element, the vibration of Chi, is the way to make contact with your parents.
16:54Can you ask my parents why they put me in the basket?
16:57Because my nanny said they found me in the side alley and my head had gone blue.
17:00Your parents at this point are in the higher planetary system.
17:06Today is not their day to be able to talk to you.
17:09It is me, I alone, that can talk to you on this day.
17:13There is a need for you to focus your abilities on the aims in your life that you wish to achieve.
17:20Superman.
17:21I want to be superpowers.
17:22And I've never told anybody before that I want to be a Superman.
17:27People may laugh at you wishing to achieve the status of Superman.
17:31But this is of an energy that exists within us all.
17:35The ability to tap into unknown energies and to move to different existences.
17:41Thank you very much, Yorke.
17:44I must return now to my planetary system and leave Earthling Bernard to talk with you.
17:53Goodbye.
17:55Goodbye.
17:59See you.
18:00See you.
18:00See you.
18:05Hello.
18:10Did you know what just happened?
18:12Yes, back again.
18:13Do you know what just happened?
18:14Yeah, we got a good connection.
18:15Do you know seriously what just happened?
18:21Hi, spirits.
18:23X is for xylophones.
18:28The xylophone was invented in ancient Norway as a way for wives to contact their husbands who had travelled overseas.
18:36It was soon found to be inadequate to the task.
18:39For centuries the xylophone lay idle until Mozart was given one as a child and wrote twinkle, twinkle, little star on it.
18:47Modern xylophones include short resonating tubes below bars.
18:52The xylophone has a brighter tone than its cousin, the marimba, and the notes have less sustain.
18:59If you throw a coconut at either instrument, it will make a harsh, clattering sound.
19:04The great astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, used to be an expert xylophonist, but then he had a stroke and couldn't hold the mallet so well.
19:16Ghost man.
19:18What I'd like to do now, if it's all right with you, is channel spirit, okay?
19:29I want you to relax.
19:31Open yourself up.
19:33Okay, take your hands away from you.
19:35All right, okay.
19:40Okay.
19:40All right.
19:43Ladies and gentlemen, could I please have shushie?
19:48This is a one-to-one with the world of spirit.
19:53Okay.
19:53Okay.
20:18Happy birthday.
20:25Happy birthday.
20:25Happy birthday.
20:25Happy birthday.
20:39Happy birthday.
20:47Happy birthday.
20:49Happy birthday.
20:52Happy birthday.
21:04Happy birthday.
21:06A-P-P-K.
21:21It's Edna, she's gonna be held.
21:23Hold me, come on.
21:25Okay.
21:27Hold on. But yeah, what just happened there?
21:36When Shirley touches an object, he glimpses the future of its owner.
21:43Using this technique, he is able to find out how living celebrities will meet their end.
21:55Hello, Psychic fans.
21:57Today, I'm hot in front of the heels of Sir Richard Branson
22:00to find out what it's gonna be like on his last day on the planet.
22:03I've managed to get hold of some beard trimmings,
22:06but the person who gave me them will have to remain nameless.
22:09Let's put them on and find out what his expedition to the other side is gonna be like.
22:27Well done, Chomper. You've done it again.
22:29I'm gonna break some records today.
22:35I'm not a wanker.
22:369,653, 9,654, 9,655, 9,666,
22:42102, 103, 304, 405, 506, 77, 77.
22:47I'm Sir Branson.
22:48I've come here to break some records.
22:50You wanna see some records? Huh?
22:52I'm gonna break more records today than ever before. Who are you?
22:55I'm Steve Morris. I'm a Guardian reporter.
22:57I can already speak out of my arse. Listen to this.
23:03Did you hear that?
23:04I did, yeah.
23:05Virgin. Can you hear?
23:07News as it breaks. Do you understand?
23:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:12I can do this.
23:13I can do this.
23:14You can do this.
23:15You can do this.
23:16You can do this.
23:17I can do this.
23:18Okay, okay, I'm gonna spin, okay?
23:19And I need you to count.
23:20Do you understand counting?
23:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:23Okay, all right, okay.
23:24One.
23:25Two.
23:26Three.
23:27Four.
23:28Okay.
23:29OK.
23:30OK.
23:31OK.
23:32OK.
23:33OK.
23:34OK.
23:35OK.
23:36OK.
23:37OK.
23:38OK.
23:39OK.
23:40OK.
23:41What did I get up to?
23:4233.
23:43I thought it was sick.
23:4665.
23:4765.
23:4865.
23:4967.
23:50I'm Richard Branham.
23:52Don't do that.
23:53Listen to me.
23:54Oh, don't do it.
23:56It says...
23:57OK.
23:58All right.
23:59Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
24:00Welcome to Tower Bridge.
24:01This is the start of the tour.
24:03You'll see Richard Branson break more records than you ever have done in your life.
24:07Not an apple?
24:08No.
24:09Just eat the outside.
24:10Give me the core.
24:11I'm going to grow an apple tree in my stomach.
24:13Just a minute.
24:14Let me finish.
24:15A bit at the end, will you say that?
24:16Yeah.
24:21You will then exit onto the east walkway, see both walkways, and then exit down the other
24:25tower for the influence.
24:27OK.
24:28And my bit?
24:29I just did it.
24:30It's all right.
24:31Go on then.
24:32Richard Branson be growing apple tree out of his stomach.
24:33Thank you very much!
24:34Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
24:35Seen.
24:36I've seen that hospital.
24:37Seen.
24:38Seen.
24:39Seen.
24:40I've seen further than this.
24:41Some to point.
24:42I can see further.
24:43Seen.
24:44Seen the monument.
24:45Seen Traitor's Gate.
24:46Seen Centre 42.
24:47Seen that before.
24:48This was gherkin.
24:49Seen it.
24:50It's over there.
24:51I'm going to eat it.
24:52Seen has eaten the gherkin.
24:54Ha ha ha ha ha!
24:55Hey!
24:56I bet no one's ever walked backwards out of this building.
24:58Do it.
24:59Whoop!
25:00Ha ha ha ha ha!
25:01I'm bloody crazy!
25:03I'm nuts!
25:04Look at me go!
25:05Has anyone ever done this before?
25:06I think that's another record for me.
25:08Ha ha ha!
25:09I've just smashed a bit of the gherkin off.
25:12Ha ha ha ha!
25:13OK.
25:14Branson's going to break a record!
25:16Ha ha ha!
25:17OK.
25:18OK, we can do this.
25:20We can do this!
25:21Better bit of the bloody gherkin!
25:22Ha ha ha!
25:23Ha ha ha!
25:24Ha ha ha!
25:25Ooh.
25:26Ooh!
25:27Ooh!
25:28Ooh!
25:29Ooh!
25:30Ooh!
25:31Ooh!
25:32Ooh!
25:33Ooh!
25:34Ooh!
25:35Ooh!
25:37Ooh!
25:38Ooh!
25:41Ooh!
25:42Ooh!
25:44Ooh!
25:45Branson gets half the way through that
25:48and that's what kills him.
25:51High spirits.
25:57OK, I'm going to leave you now with a brand new song
26:00from Sir Freddie Mercury, a believer in life
26:03and now a fanatical servant of God on the other side.
26:07He wanted to spread the word down here on Earth
26:10and have agreed to sell his new record for him.
26:13It's called God is the King.
26:15Right, could you just read that, sweetheart, just down the camera?
26:17I would like to state without prejudice
26:19that all of Mr Mercury's new work
26:21is produced in good faith and any similarity
26:24between this and previous work owned by the Mercury estate.
26:29Entirely coincidental, so help me God.
26:31OK, all right, he's a natural, isn't he?
26:34Go on, you get down there, see you after the show.
26:36OK, OK, all right.
26:39I give you God is the King
26:42and remember, if you don't believe,
26:44your days are numbered, spoon to you later.
26:47On the first day, God created light
27:06Out of darkness or out, they wouldn't be able to see
27:11And on the second day, I think he'd done
27:14Some trees or a mountain
27:15He's the king of our souls
27:18And they were stopping him
27:20He made us out of clay
27:23Yeah, baked at a million degrees
27:25And then he gave us something that made us whole
27:28And it's he, bitty, because so
27:31We really want to thank you for the finishing touch
27:34You gave us our souls
27:37So we could have fulfilled lives
27:39And we better for you
27:41You gave us our souls
27:43And filled them with love
27:45And we want to thank you
27:47Please touch our souls
27:49Cause you love our souls
27:52God is the King of our souls
27:58I would not know where to start
28:13Seriously, I would not know
28:15Shocking
28:15I just sums it up
28:18It's just scandalous
28:20Scandalous
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