- 13/05/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:001, 2, Middlesbrough, get out of the way!
00:30Tim, Tim!
00:49Tim!
00:54Tim, Tim!
01:24Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Daisy! Happy birthday to you! Oh, happy birthday, darling! I just thought I'd ring and catch you before you went out. Oh, it's such a shame I won't see you, but I'm really hoping you can come to Auntie Irene's forties. It'll probably be the 15th now.
01:53Oh, no, no, no, not the 15th. It's the 23rd of this month. No, not this month. No, not this month. Now. This month's coming. So, next month. So, call me and let me know. Oh, and Susie's out of hospital, which is a relief. It was either going to be today or tomorrow, and it was yesterday she came home. So, I thought you'd want to know.
02:11Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday!
02:32thank you very much for what for my birthday song how was your birthday how
02:42are you feeling this morning very rough actually I swear to God I will never
02:46drink again until lunchtime very wise so how does it feel to be 26 a bit gassy
02:52hmm well you know getting old be dead in four years if this was Logan's run ah
02:57that'd be terrible I know look like a twat in a jumpsuit don't say that Tim
03:00that's a word that hates women what twat no jumpsuit ah look oh my god what's in
03:08the fridge
03:10oh do you like it I love it is that me yeah anyway happy birthday pickle I'm gonna do a wee
03:30happy birthday thanks so you got anything special planned um I think we're just gonna go out for
03:43dinner yeah that'd be nice yeah I mean yeah you can tell her oh thanks yeah I'd love to that'd be great
03:51oh good Daisy's just invited me to the meal this evening oh that'd be cool yeah I'm sure Marsha
04:01won't get suspicious yeah I don't want to cause any trouble you're not causing any trouble I don't know
04:05why we just don't tell her are you serious what are you gonna say oh by the way Marsha wherever so sorry
04:10but we're not really a couple and we lied to you for a year just so we could rent your flat
04:13god we're evil aren't we you did what you had to do you shouldn't feel bad about it we don't do we
04:19come on then you where are you off to oh I'm just gonna walk Sophie to the tube station
04:26oh that's sweet yes it is isn't it yeah bye bye see you later Daisy happy birthday
04:36bye bye Sophie bye bye what a bitch
05:06hey I've got this really cool a surprise birthday cake for Daisy in the shape of a typewriter cool
05:12yeah yeah I've been scheming for weeks I met this Baker strawberry sundae right and we danced like
05:16five hours and then we had this really involved discussion about pasties and yeah anyway he's doing
05:21me a deal so you're very sweet to Daisy yeah I am aren't I yeah yeah well you know I'm a very sweet
05:26guy no you're a stupid car well thanks hi where were you when this morning I was in bed why was
05:52today important to meet him being promoted to sergeant next week don't forget I won't I'm being
05:58promoted to sergeant on Saturday don't forget I won't I'm being promoted to sergeant tomorrow
06:05don't forget I won't I yeah I forgot you forgot I'm sorry I thought you were my friend I am Mike
06:14this was important to me I wanted you to see me get my stripes but Mike what can I say I'm sorry
06:18it's her what Sophie you've only been with her two weeks and already on yesterday's news it wasn't
06:24even as bad as this when you were Sarah Mike you will always be my number one then why are you
06:28treating me like I'm a number two look it's just it's been a long time since I've had someone like
06:34Sophie in my life okay I'm just a bit excited you are my longest surfing friend Tim we've always done
06:39everything together have you forgotten the good times no of course not we were supposed to go
06:46ghost hunting in Highgate woods last week and you blew me out yeah I know yeah where were you
06:50I can't remember yeah well I'm glad you're happy Tim I'm glad you got your new girlfriend but don't
06:59forget whose shoulder you cried on when the last one dumped you I won't or when Johnny Alpha got killed
07:03by that big flying monster in 2000 AD Mike I won't honestly well look it's Mike look look Mike do you
07:09realize don't you hurt him I'll kill you did he mean that oh yeah
07:33knock knock knock hello birthday girl hello Marsha how's it going oh I'm fine how are you oh I'm fine
07:44yeah 26 happy birthday darling are you missing Amber you oh yeah yeah many happy returns darling oh what
08:01can it be I thought you might like to put some makeup on tonight hello dole yourself up a bit I don't
08:07wear much normally but oh rude red right well I best go off to Threshers do the weekly shop you still
08:16up for a night of unadulterated fun adultery are you still coming out tonight oh yeah yeah right I'll see
08:25you later hello hi days it's me oh hello twist oh it's so nice to speak to you I feel like I haven't
08:37seen you in ages you were at my birthday thing last night oh yes that was you wasn't it look um yeah I'd
08:46love to but I haven't got any money so oh that's fine I don't need any will you come and meet me where
08:50are you on the corner of your street hi Tess hi Tim what are you doing on the corner of my street
08:56I can't explain now just come and meet me all right well just give me a mo
09:01hi Tess hi Masha I'll know what you're up to did Mike tell you does he know well yeah I had to tell
09:22somebody you are a very bad man what she loves you that girl who does Daisy does she oh she does did
09:36she say that oh but it's obvious in it yeah well yeah of course yes she's my girlfriend yeah well
09:42you better tell her Tim because if you don't I will but you'll spoil the surprise you bastard
09:55Marsha
09:58Brian Brian
10:12Brian I finished with Brian oh my god are you all right what about about
10:25how's Brian taking it
10:29Brian no oh god why this is new sorry I didn't see you what are you doing expressing myself
10:43what by chucking paint around yes what's the matter with you broken up with twist
10:49oh shit really what happened sex sex that's all it ever was I wanted something else you know
10:58are we single then I'm just sick and tired of our endless clashing what your outfits Daisy
11:02I am not that shallow
11:05she's shallow Brian you know she's like Cordelia out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Latterly
11:16Angel the spin-off series which is set in LA I don't know what you're talking about Brian
11:21you're such a square so thanks for come tonight well you know she's Daisy's best friend you just
11:28gotta be strong man I know you're gonna be fine you're gonna spend a long time thinking that you
11:34won't be and then one morning you'll wake up and you will be and then you know for a while you'll
11:38miss the fact you're not because it almost seems scarier than you are because at least when
11:41you're not you've got something to cling to and then when you've got over that then you're
11:45gonna be fine right feeling better do that feel better hmm is Brian coming tonight yes but he is my
11:59friend twist I suppose so well at least we'll be seeing more of each other yeah I hadn't really
12:05thought of that hey why don't you try something on you always wear that shantytown look and it's
12:12really quite last century I quite like wearing dresser listen there's nothing wrong with looking
12:22nice Daisy you're not betraying the sisterhood just by brushing your hair once in a while hmm I just
12:30doubt there's anything in here that I could get above my knees go on it's your birthday
12:34I did update you on the Suzy situation didn't I well far be it for me to spread delicious gossip but
12:46apparently her GP is having an affair with that woman at the dentist well anyway mum hi oh no I've been out
12:57what since nine o'clock this morning uh yeah yeah you know me go go go well I've got a lot to tell
13:05you and you never phone me happy birthday dumpling thanks I've got some great news what's that well
13:13your auntie Caroline called me she said a vacancy has come up for a features correspondent anyway she's
13:19going to send you all the bump about it in the post that's nice isn't it and the best thing is it's on
13:24the Colwyn Baker set well that would be right up your street wouldn't it yeah yeah well are you and
13:32Tim doing anything nice today um we're just going out for a meal oh just the two of you no no no us and
13:39a few friends oh well you must be really looking forward to it yeah you used to give me roses
13:49I wish we could again but that was on the outside and things were different then on the inside the sun still shines and the rain falls down
14:15and the sun and rain of Christmas too when morning comes around
14:25hit me there's nothing wrong with looking nice
14:41I thought you might like to put some makeup on tonight you're not the train sisterhood just by brushing your hair once in a while
14:50about
14:57I'm
15:02oh shit
15:12Right.
15:22Right.
15:39Hiya. Sorry, I'm late.
15:42Delayed at the office, were we?
15:44I had to pop in, yeah.
15:45Yeah, I bet you did.
15:49Shall I get some drinks?
15:50I'd like a triple vodka, please.
15:52Brian?
15:53Erm...
15:54I'll have a bottle of red.
15:56How many glasses?
15:57One.
15:58OK. Bitter, Mike?
15:59Not with you.
16:01Would you like a pint of bitter, Mike?
16:03Oh, yeah.
16:05Soph?
16:06E?
16:07Bourbon, Tim.
16:08Straight up.
16:09Let's go.
16:16Wow.
16:17But I'm all woman
16:19From Monday to Sunday
16:21I work harder than you know
16:24I'm no classic
16:27Ooh.
16:28Ooh.
16:29Ooh.
16:34Hi, Daisy. How you going?
16:35Want a drink?
16:36Er, yes, please. Yeah.
16:37Have a Bloody Mary.
16:38Please.
16:39You look nice, Daisy.
16:40I wish I could dress down like that.
16:43He's got to come over.
16:44OK.
16:46Hello.
16:47You all right?
16:48Yes.
16:49Right, well, shall we?
16:50Yes.
16:51Merci.
16:52OK.
16:53I'm just going to the loo.
16:54Thanks, my gosh.
16:55Mmm.
16:56See you.
16:58How do you want?
16:59I'm not so sorry I didn't know
17:01how to look at me.
17:02I didn't even know how to look at you.
17:04I didn't know how to look at you.
17:05Will you try to look at me?
17:06Do you want to look at me?
17:07Are you going to the...
17:08Yes.
17:09I'm just going to the loo.
17:10Are you going to the loo?
17:20Yes.
17:21I'm just going to the loo.
17:26I can't believe you brought her here.
17:28Yes, I thought it was quite nice.
17:30So are you going to tell her?
17:32Marsha, what is your problem?
17:33I'll tell her then.
17:34What?
17:35Why do you want to spoil her birthday?
17:37Every second you leave it, it'll make it more painful for her.
17:40What?
17:41I'm going to tell her when she comes back.
17:43Don't you dare.
17:44I will.
17:45If anyone's going to tell her, it should be me.
17:46Yeah, but you won't, will ya?
17:47No.
17:48What's that?
17:53I've got your surprise birthday cake.
17:55What?
17:57Tim is having an affair with her.
18:00What?
18:01I've seen him snogging in the front garden.
18:04No.
18:06No, Marsha, it's not like that.
18:09What do you mean?
18:10No, no, it is like that.
18:12And I'm sorry, Daisy, but she means nothing to me.
18:15It's not.
18:16Tim, I think we should just tell her.
18:17Tell me what?
18:18She's in shock.
18:19I'm not in shock.
18:20You're in shock.
18:21I'm a little bit drunk.
18:22Daisy.
18:23But I'm perfectly lucid.
18:24Please.
18:25Tim, it's okay.
18:26What's going on?
18:27I think I should go.
18:28Sophie.
18:29Marsha, we're not really a couple.
18:32You are?
18:33We're not really a couple.
18:34Phew.
18:35Phew.
18:36It's actually a relief to say it.
18:43The thing is, we had to say we were in order to get the flag, but the truth is that we lied.
18:56You lied?
18:57Yeah, but, you know, we were desperate.
18:58We didn't think about the consequences.
18:59We didn't mean to hurt you.
19:01We just...
19:02It was like, you know, the longer we left it, we just...
19:03You lied?
19:04Marsha.
19:05Why?
19:06The advert said professional couple only.
19:07No, it didn't.
19:08It didn't.
19:09It didn't.
19:10It didn't.
19:11It didn't.
19:12I remember phoning.
19:13The bloke was a bit of a prick.
19:14I don't think he was listening to me.
19:15Yep.
19:16Yep.
19:17Yep.
19:18Yep.
19:19I don't know.
19:20I don't know.
19:21I don't know.
19:22I don't know.
19:23I don't know.
19:24I don't know.
19:25I don't know.
19:26The truth is that we lied.
19:27You lied?
19:28Yeah, but, you know, we were desperate.
19:29We didn't think about the consequences.
19:30We didn't mean to hurt you.
19:31We just...
19:32It was like, you know, the longer we left it, we just...
19:33You lied?
19:34Yeah.
19:37Dave?
19:38Yeah, hold on a second, please.
19:40Hello, you.
19:41Two-bedroomed, fully furnished, Straton, £350 a week.
19:44Could you do that for me? I'm going to lunch.
19:46You bet you.
19:48Oh.
19:49It's professional couple only.
19:51Sounds nice.
19:52Professional couple only.
19:53Professional couple only.
19:54Professional couple only.
19:55Professional couple only.
19:56Professional couple only.
19:57Professional couple only.
19:58Professional couple only.
19:59Sorry about that, Mrs. Klein.
20:00Is that everything?
20:01Great.
20:02That'll go in tomorrow.
20:03I can't believe you lied to me after all this time.
20:07I brought you a present for your anniversary.
20:09Both of them.
20:10I'm sorry.
20:12Look, Marsha, please, just understand.
20:15Okay, we weren't being malicious.
20:17We just...
20:18We didn't have a choice.
20:19We really liked that flat.
20:20That was supposed to sound nice.
20:22I suppose you lot all knew about this.
20:26I just think I'm a complete idiot.
20:29Ooh.
20:30Don't be angry.
20:31How do you want me to be, Daisy?
20:33I just found out my new little group of young friends has been taking the piss.
20:37Marsha.
20:38No, Brian, I'm leaving.
20:39Where are you going?
20:40Just away from you lot.
20:41I really think I should go.
20:42Sophie.
20:43No, look, Tim.
20:44I'll call you tomorrow.
20:45Bye.
20:46Bye.
20:47Nice one, Daisy.
20:48I wasn't the one snogging my supposedly secret girlfriend in the front garden.
20:51Tim doesn't think about anyone else when he's with Sophie.
20:52Can you stay out of this, OK?
20:53This has nothing to do with you with him.
20:54I want to take my company.
20:57No, it's not her.
20:58My daughter's mother's mother's mother, who is born.
20:59Why don't they still have to be a woman, who's behind me?
21:00I don't know who's right now.
21:01No, I'll do it now, but I'll do it.
21:02Okay.
21:03No, the only thing is I think I need to be.
21:04I'll do it now.
21:05I don't know.
21:06All right.
21:07I don't know.
21:08I think I should go.
21:09Sophie.
21:10No, look, Tim.
21:11I'll call you tomorrow.
21:12Bye.
21:13Bye!
21:14in the front garden? Tim doesn't
21:16think about anyone else when he's with Sophie.
21:19You just stay out of this, Mike, okay?
21:20This has got nothing to do with you. It's got everything to do
21:22with me, Tim. I live in the house too
21:24and I'm going to have to go back and live with my mum because of you.
21:27What do you mean because of me?
21:29I'm not the one who told her.
21:30She wouldn't have asked if you could have kept your tongue in your mouth.
21:32Well, I think we're all to blame
21:35in a way. Oh, well, thank you very much,
21:36Mrs Magnanimous. You picked a fine time to grow
21:38a fucking conscience. No, you don't.
21:40You let him speak to me like that. Yes.
21:42What? I'm not an accessory twist.
21:44You can't just pick me up when you need me.
21:46Oh, well, a good time to start getting emotionally articulate, Brian.
21:48Don't lay into Brian.
21:50I'm not having a go at Brian. I can't believe you.
21:52I'm doing it. Shut up, Mike.
21:55Did you see her face?
21:56Say something. I put it in a shit. Shut up.
21:58Why did you break her?
22:00You're the one who started it.
22:02You are so stupid.
22:04Happy birthday, dear Daisy.
22:07Happy birthday to you.
22:09I...
22:26Jim! You know I'm allergic to wheat!
22:36Oh, fuck off!
22:41Grow up, you grow up.
22:56Oh, the way I see it, we have two choices.
23:14We can call the police, or you can clear up this mess yourselves.
23:20Who votes for clearing up?
23:24Who votes for police?
23:29We're clearing up it is, yeah.
23:31Good. I'll get the mops, shall I?
23:42I'm going home.
23:45Happy birthday, Daisy.
23:52What are we going to do?
23:54We could go clubbing.
23:55I mean, about Marsha, Mike.
23:58We've potentially destroyed her faith in the integrity of today's youth.
24:02Young adults.
24:05We've got a pool together, or else we're going to lose everything.
24:09So that's settled, then?
24:11Clubbing it is!
24:12Brian and Mike have gone to look for us if she's on the street.
24:26Well, there's a hundred off licenses in this area.
24:28She could be in any one of them.
24:31Yeah, well, you know.
24:32They might get lucky.
24:33Anyway, we should stay in case she comes back.
24:35Okay.
24:36Look, Daisy, don't worry.
24:38You know, we'll sort this out.
24:39We always do.
24:41I don't know.
24:42I don't know.
24:43This feels different.
24:45Serious.
24:46We've had some good times here, though, haven't we?
24:49Yeah.
24:50Happy days.
24:53Yeah.
24:54We'll be off, then, Tim.
24:57Okay, man.
24:58We'll be fine, Marsha.
24:59We'll contact you.
25:00Yeah, we'll find her, Daisy.
25:02No, I promise you.
25:03We'll see you at the rendezvous.
25:08Okay, Tim.
25:13Good luck.
25:17Good luck.
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