- 10/06/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You can do what you wanna do, in living color, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, in living color, you can walk on the moon float like a balloon, you see it's never too late and it's never too soon, take it from me it's alright to me, in living color,
00:29and how did you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat, and at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, in living color, everybody there is equally kind, in living color,
00:57what's mine is yours or what's yours is mine, in living color, and how would you feel knowing everybody was different, from thin to thick and through thick and thin, an egotistical trip was put to an end, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, in living color, you can walk on the moon float like a balloon, you see it's never too late and it's never too soon, take it from me it's alright to me, in living color,
01:25in living color, and how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat, and at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can do what you wanna do, in living color, you can
01:55All right. Thank you. Thank you. I'm Kenan Ivan-Waynes, and this is In Living Color. Thanks for being here tonight. I'd like to say hello to all our new fans out there. Thanks for tuning in. We got a fun show tonight. Before I get started, you know what to do. Say hello to my DJ, SW1.
02:16And to the fly girls, starting over here with Carrie Ann, Lisa, Carrie, Michelle, and Deidre. Yeah. I want you all to chill while we get ill. Mr. DJ, do your thing. Be right back.
02:46All right.
02:54Yo, yo, yo. Welcome to the Homeboy No Money Down Seminar. That's right. We're going to try to get paid with absolutely no money down.
03:03That's right. I'm with Mr. Iceman. Chillin'. Yo. Our secret to success is right here in our new booklet,
03:12How to Make More Money Without Using Your Money.
03:20Might well you ask, whose money should I use? But who got more money than they know what to do with?
03:26The gub-ment.
03:30And in part one of our booklet, we're going to show you how to use that money from the government.
03:35For example, did you know that food stamps cannot be used to buy alcoholic beverages? Hmm.
03:42But how could I use that knowledge to work for me?
03:47I'm glad that you asked. Let's look at the chart.
03:51I go into a store and purchase a pack of beer for, let's say, $3.99.
03:56Or even less, depending on the security system.
03:59And I trade it to some unscrupulous individual, such as this man right here.
04:04For, let's say, $40, $50 worth of food stamps.
04:06Uh-huh.
04:07Now, he's easy to find. He might even be in your family.
04:11And I take that money and I find a little fat lady named Liquida with about 15 children.
04:16And I trade it to her for $25.
04:20What does that equal?
04:21More money, more money, more money.
04:27Yo, here goes one of our many success stories.
04:31Anton Boom Boom Gino.
04:35$45,000 in three weeks.
04:38You broke Big Head Jones.
04:45$123,000 in six months.
04:53Yo, our more money seminar will teach you how to get over like Rover to Casanova.
05:00That's right.
05:01And in part three, we gonna show you how to dress for success.
05:04Like, check out my man Wiz here.
05:06I know your friend, he look pretty fly like it is.
05:09To add this little accessory right here.
05:15Now he's got a look that most businessmen just can't seem to say no to.
05:20That's right.
05:21But wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
05:24You say, yo, hoe boy.
05:25What?
05:26Yo, hoe boy.
05:27What?
05:28You drive a big Mercedes.
05:30Yes, I do.
05:31How can I drive a big, crazy Mercedes, too?
05:34Well, that's easy.
05:35If you act now, we gonna send you out an exclusive Mo Money valet kit.
05:40You just find yourself a nice, fancy restaurant, standing front, throwing this red jacket, hold up these here signs, and you'll be amazed at how many people just walk up and get your luxury car.
05:53Yo, some of them will even tip you before turning over the keys.
06:00Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money.
06:03FBI, open over there.
06:05Yo, you know what that means?
06:06We're moving locations.
06:07That's right.
06:08Yo, people are just banging on the doors trying to get into our seminars.
06:12So just spend $50 to the homeboys carry this station.
06:16See you next time.
06:17Peace.
06:18You got laughs from close to close to make you smile.
06:23Real life look at each of you to capture all that style.
06:38When you've again, quiet and hear the funny things you do.
06:41Hello and welcome to America's funniest security camera videos!
06:46Ha, ha, ha. I'm Bob Saget.
06:50I'd like to say hello to my daughter.
06:51She's at home right now throwing up with the flu.
06:54And I hope they're taping it.
06:56Ha, ha, ha.
06:57Oh, we're kidding. I already have that on tape.
07:01Anyway, as you know, we get videos from security cameras installed all across the country.
07:06Tonight, we're going to be taking a look at a video sent to us by Ali Bahad Kamkar.
07:11Ali works at a Lucky 11 convenience store.
07:14And, boy, how am I surprised.
07:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:20Roll them.
07:21Ha, ha.
07:23Just a typical night in the Lucky 11.
07:25Little kids buying a slushie, a cashier shortchanging them,
07:29and plenty of surveillance to cover the event.
07:32Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:34Uh-oh. Company.
07:35Give me the money.
07:38I'm very sorry. Business not too good today.
07:40Wait, have you got it?
07:41Oh, that had to hurt.
07:45Give me a chance to get it.
07:48Move it!
07:49Roast Motel!
07:50Take it.
07:51Thanks a lot, Manhattan.
07:53Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:55Clean up on aisle five.
07:59Mini Christmas, mother f***er!
08:01Ha, ha, ha.
08:03Wow. Good thing those pampered dolls are super absorbent.
08:22Uh-oh.
08:23Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:25Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:28She could have been a hostage, but her heart wasn't in it.
08:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:35Some days, it just doesn't pay to be a crook.
08:38Ha.
08:41Ali, thanks for that hysterical videotape.
08:44You're a very brave man, and here's looking through you.
08:47Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:49Stop here, I'll joke again.
08:51Ha, ha, ha.
08:52See you all next week on America's Funniest Security Camera Videos.
08:56Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:58Ladies and gentlemen, the most controversial female comedian, Andrea Dice Clay.
09:13Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
09:32Yeah, you think that's easy to do when you stack like this?
09:36this? How the are you doing? How do you like my jacket, huh? It's the story of my life.
09:52I got more studs than I know what to do with. I'm telling you, guys can't get enough of
10:00me. They're always saying, oh, baby, oh, baby, I love you. I need you. Bullshit. Just give
10:13me the goods and get out of here. I'm drunk with you. I was doing this guy in my dressing
10:27room before I came out here tonight. He says to me, you hurt my feelings. Well, excuse
10:39the out of me. All I says was, is that all there is, huh? These guys think they're built
10:51like, damn, the darkness. You know what I mean? Like this the other night. He says to me,
11:03let me know if I hurt you. If you hurt me. I says the last time I saw something that
11:19looked like that, it had an eraser on the end of it. Andrea Dice Clay at the Desert Inn now
11:27for July 15th. If she doesn't cut them off, you'll laugh them on it.
11:32Yeah. Eat.
11:34.
11:37.
11:39.
11:42.
11:46.
11:47.
11:49.
11:50.
11:53.
11:55Ooh, ladies first, ladies first Ooh, ladies first, ladies first
12:03Excuse me, but I think I'm about to do To get into precisely what I am about to do
12:07I'm conversating to the folks who have no whatsoever clue So listen very carefully as I break it down for you
12:11Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily High to happy over joy
12:14Please, with all the beats and rhymes, my sisters have employs
12:16Look, it's me throwing down the sound Totally a yes, let me state the position
12:19Hey, man!
12:25It's time for another episode of Hey, man
12:28With that hardest-working West Indian family, the Hedleys
12:31This is your captain speaking
12:34I'm also your baggage handler, ticket agent, head steward, navigator, tall boy, in-flight chiropractor
12:40And me on co-pilot to boot
12:42Welcome to Hedley Airlines
12:45I and my family are working our Jamaican butts off to make your flight a pleasant one
12:50Say hello to your stewardess, cook, restroom attendant, rental car agent
12:54Air traffic controller and engine mechanic
12:56On the left aisle, my lovely daughter, Margaret
12:59Hey, man!
13:00Captain says to shove, he says down!
13:02All right, Irie!
13:04And the rude boy serving the drink is my lazy son, Byron
13:08Come here, boy!
13:09What is this uniform?
13:12Where's your tongue shirt and tie?
13:14Pop, you know me don't wear no Yankee-style uniform
13:17Plus, this uniform give me authority
13:19Authority!
13:20Authority!
13:21Authority!
13:22Authority, you look like Isaac from the Love Boat
13:25And we all know he hasn't had a job in a long time
13:30So I put a drink up there and stand on the plane while I take care of Pop and Jeff
13:35Pop, you lazy coconut blood clot
13:38Get out of here!
13:40Hey there!
13:42How you doing there, tiger?
13:44What a cute little fella you got there
13:46Thank you
13:47How old is he?
13:48He's four
13:49Ah, four years old, eh?
13:50Hey, look at that!
13:52Ah, what does he do?
13:53What does he do?
13:54For a living, his job, what's his job?
13:56He's a four-year-old little boy, he doesn't have a job
14:00Four years old and doesn't have a job
14:02Why, when I was your age I had a paper rod, a Kool-Aid stand, I mowed the lawn, I was a delivery boy, a babysitter
14:08I worked in a coal mine all while I was simultaneously in the first, second, turn in fourth grade
14:12You better get a job before it's too late, boy
14:14Give me back my heart, you lazy lima bean
14:18Excuse me, there's a woman out on the wing of the plane
14:24Don't get excited, it's just my wife Hilda doing the laundry for her day job
14:30Oh God, I love the wind out there, it dries my laundry in one third the time
14:36Yes, it does, no
14:38Godfrey, look at here, what is this, I'm out there three minutes and Lazy Margaret's sitting down on the job
14:44Look, Mama, leave me alone, I've done all my chores, besides, I'm talking to this real cute fella sitting next to me, you know
14:50What does he do now?
14:52Well, I'm from Trinidad, I'm out fifteen job, and I think I love hee
14:58I don't know, get acquainted
15:00Okay, Mom
15:04Uh, excuse me, Captain, is it necessary for this woman to iron her clothes right here? I'm trying to relax
15:10Relax? Aren't you on a business trip?
15:12Well, I'm on a vacation
15:14Vacation from how many jobs?
15:16One
15:18One job!
15:20You lazy goat, you have some big great big hairy nurse sitting up here in a business class with hard-brain people
15:26You should be bought there in a lazy class
15:28But I purchased a business class ticket
15:30Well, I gotta tell you something, you ill-gotten lazy money is no good here
15:34This class is for hard-working business people, get out! Security!
15:38Security here!
15:40Get up, you're under lazy arrest, get in the back, you lazy goat
15:44Lazy man, go! Go, lazy man!
15:46Go, lazy man!
15:48Pop, pop, pop! We have to land the plane, but the landing gear is broken
15:52Oh, well, we got to land the plane anyway
15:55Crew, prepare for manual landing
15:57All right, nothing else to do now
15:59That's right
16:00Okay, Margaret, you get under the nose
16:04You and I will get underneath the wings
16:12Okay, man, go on the plane!
16:14Come on, man!
16:17Join us again for Hey Mon with the Headlings!
16:23Rock them like they start to get busy
16:25Girls on the floor will dance to their dizzy
16:27Last song was slow
16:28You asked me to speed it up
16:29The heat's on so Doc's gotta hit it up
16:31I rock the rhymes that make you get looser
16:33I'm the MC and she's the producer
16:35Crowd heard the song, they all yell
16:37Uh-oh, hope you can hang
16:38Cause that's just the intro
16:40Dance with the speaker till your hair will blow
16:44Dance with the speaker till your hair will blow
16:48That's it!
16:49Dance with the speaker till your hair will blow
16:52Dance with the speaker till your hair will blow
16:54Are you having a good time?
17:03Yeah!
17:04Happy birthday, schnooky uncle!
17:07I have a surprise for you!
17:09Yeah!
17:11Homey the crab!
17:13Yeah!
17:14Homey the crab!
17:15Homey the crab!
17:17Homey the crab!
17:18Homey the crab!
17:20Homey!
17:20Homey!
17:21Homey!
17:22Homey!
17:22Homey!
17:23Homey!
17:24Homey!
17:24Homey!
17:25Homey!
17:25Homey!
17:26Homey!
17:33Sit down.
17:36All right, kids.
17:38I'm Homey the clown.
17:40Y'all ready to have some fun?
17:41Yeah!
17:44All right, what y'all want me to do first?
17:45Oh!
17:45Oh!
17:46Oh!
17:46Oh!
17:47Oh!
17:47Oh!
17:48Oh!
17:48Oh!
17:49Oh!
17:49Oh!
17:50Yeah!
17:50Oh!
17:51Oh!
17:51Yeah!
17:52Grieve myself, huh?
17:53Oh!
17:54Oh!
17:54Oh!
17:55Oh!
17:56Oh!
17:57Oh!
17:57Oh!
17:58Oh!
17:58Oh!
17:59Oh!
17:59Oh!
17:59Oh!
18:00Oh!
18:00Oh!
18:01Oh!
18:01Oh!
18:02Oh!
18:02Oh!
18:03Oh!
18:03Oh!
18:04Oh!
18:04You could slip on a banana peel and fall on your butt!
18:07Oh, yeah, fall down, bust my skull open,
18:16have my blood and brains ooze out on the carpet
18:18so you can get a couple of cheap laughs, huh?
18:20I don't think so.
18:23Homie don't play that.
18:28What else?
18:30Can we smash the cream pie in your face
18:34like if you're doing the clowns and stuff?
18:36Yeah!
18:38I think you got it backwards, son.
18:45Now, how do you feel about yourself?
18:49Totally dissed, homie.
18:53That's why homie don't play that.
18:58All right, how about a magic trick?
19:00Yeah!
19:02Who got a dog?
19:03I do, homie!
19:04Here you go, homie!
19:07All right, I fold it once.
19:10Ooh!
19:10Twice.
19:11Ah!
19:12Now it's gone.
19:15Ta-da!
19:15Let's get something straight, kids.
19:22Homie may be a clown, but he don't make a fool out of himself.
19:26Why did you become a clown, then?
19:28I guess it's because I got so much love to give.
19:33And it's part of my prison work release program.
19:37So I got about five more years of this clown crap.
19:44Cartoon time!
19:45Yeah!
19:45Y'all pay special attention, because this one has a certain message to it.
19:54Once upon a time, homie the clown went to a fancy white restaurant.
20:00Shea Whitey was the name.
20:03As always, homie gets a hassle by the man.
20:07He tells him that a tie is required in order to eat in this establishment.
20:16So homie says,
20:18Man, get them damn ties out of my face before I kick your ass.
20:25But unfortunately, Monsieur Snowflake didn't quite hear homie correctly.
20:32So homie had no choice but to keep his word.
20:36The end.
20:43So what have we learned, if nothing else, childrens?
20:47A homie don't play ass!
20:54That's right.
20:55Now let's sing the Homie the Clown song.
20:57Yeah!
20:58Yeah!
20:59Repeat after me.
21:01Homie the clown.
21:03Homie the clown.
21:04Don't mess around.
21:06Don't mess around.
21:07Even though the man.
21:09Even though the man.
21:10Try to keep him down.
21:12Try to keep him down.
21:13One day, homie will break all the chains.
21:16Then he'll fly away.
21:18But until that day, homie don't play.
21:21I said, repeat after me.
21:24Homie the clown.
21:25Homie the clown.
21:25Homie the clown.
21:26Homie the clown.
21:26Homie the clown.
21:27Homie the clown.
21:28Homie the clown.
21:28Homie the clown.
21:29Homie the clown.
21:29Homie the clown.
21:29Very good.
21:34Homie the clown.
21:34And they made homie smile after all.
21:39Happy birthday, kid.
21:40All right.
21:54Before we go, we want to introduce you to the lady behind all the steps on the show.
21:58And her assistant right here, that's Rosie Perez.
22:00Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
22:05Uh, what can I say?
22:09We had fun doing it once again.
22:11If you're there next week, we'll be there too.
22:13So until then, peace.
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