- 10/06/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00In Living Color
00:30Did you feel no impregnance was obsolete
00:31And all mankind danced to the exact beat
00:33And at night it was safe to walk down the street
00:36In Living Color
00:37You can do what you want to be
00:39In Living Color
00:42In Living Color
00:45You can do what you want to be
00:48In Living Color
00:50In Living Color
00:53Everybody here is equally kind
00:56In Living Color
00:57What's mine is yours or what's yours is mine
01:00In Living Color
01:01And how would you feel knowing everybody was different
01:04From thin to thick and through thick and thin
01:06And egotypical chips was put to an end
01:08In Living Color
01:09You can do what you want to be
01:12In Living Color
01:15In Living Color
01:18You can walk all the moon float like a balloon
01:20You see it's never too late and it's never too soon
01:22Take it from me it's all right
01:24To be
01:24In Living Color
01:26And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete
01:29And all mankind danced to the exact beat
01:31And at night it was safe to walk down the street
01:33In Living Color
01:34You can do what you want to be
01:37In Living Color
01:39Ladies and gentlemen
01:42The star of Night Court
01:43And her own television show
01:45Miss Marsha Warfield
01:46Hi
02:09I'm Marsha Warfield
02:13You know Kenan asked me to come host a show for him tonight
02:18And the first thing I'm gonna do
02:20Is change the way they do things around here
02:22I'm gonna get rid of these little tired tramps
02:25Oh they gone already
02:25Good
02:26Good
02:27Cause all five of them together
02:30Don't even add up to one of my cheeks
02:32So
02:33But I do want to keep Mr. DJ
02:36Mmhmm
02:37Come on down here Mr. DJ
02:40Oh yes you
02:42Come on down here doll
02:44We don't have all day
02:45That's
02:49That's SW1
02:51Come here
02:53Unbutton that shirt
02:55Mmhmm
02:57Oh let me give you a little help
03:00Come here
03:00I got it
03:00You got it
03:01Isn't he something
03:03Let me see you shake your thing
03:10Yeah
03:12I'm gonna get five more like him
03:14And put them on my show
03:15We'll be right back
03:16Come on down
03:17From Hollywood
03:25It's the most non-threatening black men on television
03:27The Brothers Brothers
03:29Hit it Tom
03:41My brother's a brother
03:48And so am I
03:50For so it appears to the casual eye
03:53The networks want blacks
03:55But they don't want them real
03:57So Oreos like us
03:59Get a hell of a deal
04:01So it's hidey-ho
04:03To the prime time we go
04:05With the hey you jive turkey
04:07And what do you say bro
04:08I swear to you
04:10We are whiter than snow
04:12We're brothers who are brothers
04:14And we have our own show
04:16Hey Tom
04:17Yes Tom
04:18Uh wait
04:19How can we both be named Tom
04:21Easy
04:22We're named after our uncle
04:23Oh boy
04:27Knock knock
04:28Who's there
04:29Spike
04:29Spike who
04:30Hope it's not Spike Lee
04:31That little troublemaker
04:32What's his problem
04:34Oh
04:34So it's hidey-ho
04:37As I pick out my fro
04:39We all play the same parts
04:41Whatever the show
04:43The guys are all pimps
04:45And each chick is a hoe
04:46If we just sell out
04:48We'll be rolling in dough
04:51Say Tom
04:52Yes Tom
04:52Did you know Mother was coming
04:53To live with us?
04:54Uh oh
04:55There goes the neighborhood
04:56Bill Cosby's a doctor
05:00With a lawyer for a wife
05:01As black folks all know
05:03It's the average life
05:05A six bedroom house
05:07And a really cute pup
05:09His kids don't do drugs
05:11And they don't get knocked up
05:12Uh Tom
05:14Yes Tom
05:14What's black and white all over?
05:17Us
05:18Woohoo
05:19With a hidey-ho
05:22And a what's happening dude
05:23To show you our real self
05:26Would only be rude
05:27It's a whole different world
05:29Till our ratings get low
05:32We're brothers who are brothers
05:35And we have our own show
05:37We're brothers who are brothers
05:39And we have our own show
05:43Our brothers brothers comedy hour
05:55Is brought to you by White Dot
05:56If you can't see it
05:57You can pretend it doesn't exist
05:59can't touch this can't touch this can't touch this my my my pants so baggy when the move it ain't hard
06:20men you want to say oh my lord hey hammer do you really have a weenie with pants like that
06:24you look like a genie they give me a real nice breeze like a big wreck hammock on the coconut trees
06:29they're cool now are you getting my drip i'm dry where it counts it's a super fresh lip i'm jumping
06:33and i'm proven and such and this is a dance you can't touch break it down
06:40uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh
06:46stop hammer time every time you see me the hammer's on a roll even with my head sticking out the zipper
07:07hole the ladies think i'm hype they copy everything i do it's hammer your hammer and say hammer go hammer
07:14until there's something new can't touch this yeah boy can't touch this
07:19i just love these old horror movies don't you yeah i must have at least seen them 50 times
07:27we at cine globe theaters know that nothing is more annoying than having to listen to a movie
07:33while people in the theater are talking that's why we turn down the volume on our movies so that you
07:39can really hear yourselves talking
07:41don't go in there
07:43don't open that door stupid
07:45don't take off that hood now
07:49turn to the fly right now watch watch
07:51he's a fly he's a fly
07:53don't take off that hood
07:56i know and i'm moving
07:58hit him outside the head with a hot dog
08:00hit him up and down
08:02hit him up and down
08:09please be quiet
08:11i'm trying to watch the film
08:12oh what is this guy
08:14come on you're up and you're out of here
08:17come on
08:21cine globe theater
08:23admission may be reduced
08:24if no movie is showing
08:29thank you very much
08:37all right
08:38good evening ladies and gentlemen
08:40my name is calhoun tubbs
08:43known to my friends as hard fingers
08:45see that's because back in 1947
08:48i once played the guitar for over 36 hours straight
08:51for no reading at all
08:53that's right
08:54i wrote a song about it
08:56like the kid here go
08:57you know i'd like to welcome y'all to my 75th anniversary show
09:12that's right
09:1375 years in the business of the blues
09:15still trying to make it
09:17i wrote a song about it
09:18like the kid here go
09:2075 years in shopping nights
09:23and i'm still trying to make it
09:25i wrote a song about it
09:53like the hit here go
09:55like a white boy
09:59thank you very much
10:03but you know
10:06i'm gonna let y'all in on a secret
10:08see
10:08you got to have you a gimmick
10:10to make it in the business of music
10:13see
10:13i done had me several gimmicks
10:15in and throughout my illustrious career
10:17they first used to call me
10:19pig-legged calhoun
10:20but that ain't work out too good
10:23cause my feet swole up something awful
10:25sittin' on my kneecaps all day
10:27that's when i switched to a blind boy calhoun
10:30on the network like a job man
10:32but these damn hoodlums stole all the pennies out my car
10:35i ain't write no song about that
10:38but i think i could right now
10:40let the hit here do
10:41yeah you can call me fly boy calhoun
10:44but they stole all my pennies
10:47oh my
10:49thank you very much
10:51i know what y'all saying
10:54you saying this old man
10:55he don't never finish his song
10:57now see
10:58that's kind of like my new gimmick
11:00now so far
11:02i done wrote over 12 000 new songs
11:05and ain't none of them longer than 13 seconds
11:07but you know the music business
11:10keep passing me by man
11:12yes sir
11:13but i gotta look on the bright side
11:15i figure
11:16i've been a success
11:18at being a failure
11:19for 75 years
11:21that ain't saying something ain't it
11:23wrote a song about it
11:24like i can't hear
11:25i've been a success
11:27i've been a failure
11:28for 75 years
11:30hello again
11:47this is film vault king ted turner
11:50doing whatever i please
11:52with more classic bells
11:53this is the original print
11:57of the grapes of rat
11:58gonna put it in those little
12:00view masters
12:00and try to market them
12:02with pictures of the california raisins
12:04on them
12:04now i understand
12:06a lot of you people
12:07have an innate respect
12:08for the artist's original vision
12:10but i have something
12:12you don't have
12:13a receipt of purchase
12:15now here's another film
12:19i've worked the old
12:21colorizing magic on
12:22might like it
12:24might not
12:25either way
12:26i'll sleep like a baby
12:29i'll see you next time
12:31i'll see you next time
12:32i'll see you next time
15:09Tune in next time for my new colorized classic, The African Queen, starring Little Richard.
15:15Feels like a natural, doesn't it?
15:18I'm still Ted Turner.
15:21Jay, I'll be right over it as soon as I floss my teeth.
15:45Twenty-two million black victims of Americanism are waking up.
16:02As-salamu alaykum black man, time to make a stand, time to wake up and time to make a plan.
16:10The plaintiff, Hot Bod Mott Bar, manager of an all-night convenience store, claims he lost business and suffered undue anguish.
16:18He is seeking damages in the amount of $850.
16:22The defendant, where is he?
16:26The defendant, Anton Jackson, is countersuing for loss of income and emotional distress.
16:40The amount he's seeking is $5.
16:43All rise, the Honorable Judge Wapner presiding.
16:51The court is in session.
16:53Ma'am!
16:55Excuse me, your majesty.
17:00As you can see, I do not have any representation.
17:03I tried calling Jacoby and Myers, but they weren't a retainer.
17:10And I wasn't about to give up my jockstrap to nobody.
17:17So, I'd like to act as my own executioner on this here thing.
17:23Mr. Jackson, I assure you you'll have plenty of opportunity to defend yourself when the time comes.
17:29And for now, you'll have to assume the proper position.
17:32Aw, man, again?
17:33Dang it.
17:38Look, I assure you the chokehold won't be necessary.
17:43Mr. Jackson.
17:44What?
17:45I mean, go back to your proper place in the courtroom.
17:47If you need an interpreter, I'll get one for you.
17:51Okay.
17:52Now, let's start with the plaintiff, Mr. Mac-cock-mac-p-
17:57Magbar!
17:58Mr. Cock-mac-
17:59Magbar!
18:00State your case.
18:02Well, your honor, okay?
18:03Last Wednesday, I noticed we were running low on beer.
18:06I go back to my freezer, one of the finest freezers in Southern California.
18:09May I...
18:09Conjection, your honor!
18:11That's pure conjection!
18:14Sustained.
18:18I'm just as surprised as you.
18:23Now, let's continue, Mr. Mac-sack.
18:26Mac-bottles!
18:27Whatever.
18:28Whatever.
18:29Anyway, I go into the freezer to get some beer.
18:32I see this man sitting on the ice machine, changing his underwear.
18:36Several other customers saw this, too.
18:37They start running out of the store, and I lose much money.
18:40I like to explain myself.
18:48See, I was merely trying to find some privacy, you know?
18:52I was changing for my second show.
18:55See, that's what I do.
18:56I'm a street performer.
18:57You know, as a matter of fact, I was once held over at Carnegie Hall.
19:03For how long?
19:04Until the police arrived?
19:05Ha!
19:06Mwah!
19:09That's a good one, your honor.
19:11Until the police arrived.
19:14Mr. Jackson.
19:15I'm going to put that in my act.
19:17That's pretty good.
19:18May I approach the bench, your honor?
19:20I guess so.
19:21You see, I wouldn't...
19:22Whoa!
19:24Oh, excuse me, honor.
19:25I just had to lift up a chair.
19:27Oh!
19:31Mr. Jackson, one more outburst like that, and I'll clear this courtroom.
19:36One more outburst like that, and I'm sure the courtroom will clear.
19:42You were making a point.
19:45Oh, yeah, that's right.
19:46My point.
19:47You know, exactly, exactly.
19:49I got some way up going.
19:52You ever get one of that velvet?
19:57Yeah, that worked.
19:59That's good.
20:00Where was I?
20:05Oh, yeah, in my case.
20:06Okay, now I need to, first of all, get my evidence together.
20:13For everything I...
20:14He seems so comfortable.
20:15That's good.
20:18That's good.
20:18Here it is.
20:21Allow me to introduce Exhibit A.
20:25What the hell is that?
20:27These are my underwear.
20:29And these are the same drawers I had on at the night in question.
20:35The night with Mr.
20:37Exhibit A.
20:38Oh, man.
20:39That's good.
20:42That's right.
20:45Mr. Lungy kicked me in my ass.
20:48You're out of order.
20:49That's what I'm trying to...
20:51You're out of order, Mr. Jackson.
20:52I'm out of order.
20:54You're out of order.
20:55Mr. McHaggart.
20:57Mr. Jackson.
20:57The whole damn court system is out of order.
21:01Oh, that was a scene from Injustice for All.
21:08You know, I went up for that part, but they blackballed me.
21:13You want to see?
21:14Look, here's $20, okay?
21:16Here's 20 bucks.
21:17Get out of my courtroom.
21:18Don't ever come back.
21:19Well, thank you, your honey.
21:21This court is a J.
21:25I need that.
21:26Here comes the defendant now.
21:29Uh, Mr. Jackson?
21:30What?
21:31Mr. Jackson, uh, how do you feel about the ruling on the...
21:34Oh, God.
21:35What is that smell?
21:36Oh, no, uh-uh.
21:38This interview is over.
21:40Join me next week on Pope People's Court.
21:43Can I sing a song?
21:44Oh.
21:45You have a leader.
21:57Yeah.
21:58All right, thank you.
21:59I want to thank our special guest.
22:03What's going on out there?
22:05Our guest focuses on brothers.
22:08Thanks for popping in.
22:10We'll see y'all next week.
22:12Get out of here.
Recommended
23:11
|
Up next
29:44
29:00
1:04:05
1:06:12
50:02