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00:00You can tell what you want to do, in living color, in living self.
00:11You can tell what you want to do, in living color, in living color.
00:20You, you walk all the moon float like a balloon.
00:23You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon.
00:25Take it from me, it's alright to be in living color.
00:28And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete?
00:31And all mankind danced to the exact beat.
00:33And at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color.
00:37You can tell what you want to do, in living color, in living color.
00:45You can tell what you want to do, in living color, in living color.
00:54Everybody here is equally kind, in living color.
00:57What's mine is yours or what's yours is mine, in living color.
01:02And how would you feel knowing everybody was your friend?
01:04From thin to thick and through thick and thin, an egotypical trip was put to an end, in living color.
01:10You can tell what you want to do, in living color.
01:14You can tell what you want to do, in living color.
01:16In living color.
01:17You, you walk all the moon float like a balloon.
01:20You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon.
01:22Take it from me, it's alright to be in living color.
01:26And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete?
01:29And all mankind danced to the exact beat.
01:31And at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color.
01:34You can tell what you want to do, in living color.
01:39Ladies and gentlemen, Kenan Ivory Wayans.
01:56All right.
02:10And welcome to In Living Color.
02:11I'm Kenan Ivory Wayans.
02:12We've got a great show for you tonight.
02:14Before I get started, I'd like to introduce a few folks to you.
02:17My DJ that keeps the party rocking all night long, SW1, in the high.
02:21Come on up.
02:21And, of course, you've got to say hello to all my Fly Girls.
02:28Starting over here with Carrie Ann.
02:32Lisa.
02:34Deidre.
02:36Michelle.
02:37And Carrie.
02:41All right.
02:42We've got a great show.
02:44We want you to sit back, laugh, have a good time.
02:46And I'll see you in a minute.
02:46Let's do it.
02:51All right.
03:03Welcome back to Love Connection.
03:05Told you we'd be back in two and two.
03:09Our next guest says she likes her men to be very wealthy.
03:12Let's say hello to Robin Gibbons.
03:19All right, Robin.
03:19Hello, Charles.
03:22Whoever call me Charles, I'll go off.
03:26So, Robin, tell us about this wealthy thing.
03:29Oh, Chuck, I don't want people thinking that I'm the type of woman
03:31who's only interested in the size of a man's wallet.
03:34Mm-hmm.
03:35I mean, there are things that are just as important.
03:38Like what?
03:39Well, like what's in the wallet.
03:40Am I right?
03:44Okay.
03:46Robin, last time you were here, you picked a man to go out with.
03:48Now you're back to tell us how it went.
03:51Let's say hello to Mike Tyson.
03:58Hello, Michael.
04:01Hi, Michael.
04:03Hi, Robin.
04:06How you doing, Chuck?
04:07Hi there, Mike.
04:08How are you?
04:08Well, I got to say, I'm really ecstatic to be here.
04:18All righty then.
04:19Robin, tell us how the date started.
04:21Well, at first I called Michael, and of course things didn't go very well
04:24because he's just a boxer from Brooklyn,
04:26and of course I was a Harvard medical student.
04:30What about you, Mike?
04:34What did you think of Robin?
04:35Oh, well, Chuck, when I first saw Robin,
04:38I was ecstatic.
04:40I mean,
04:42he had this,
04:42he had this really tight dress on,
04:44you know,
04:44the kind with the push-up bra,
04:46and the breasts were like popping right out,
04:48like hitting right in the eye,
04:49you know?
04:51And as soon as I saw him, Chuck,
04:53I said,
04:53wow,
04:54I'm in love,
04:55you know?
04:58Sounds like you two really hit it off.
05:00So where'd you go first?
05:02Well, first, Chuck,
05:03we went to this lovely little jewelry store
05:06where I allowed Michael to purchase me
05:09a very lovely ruby, diamond, and sapphire collection
05:12and a matching car.
05:15Sounds nice.
05:16Did you give Mike anything?
05:18Lithium.
05:20It made me feel really ecstatic, Chuck.
05:22Uh-huh.
05:23Yes, we know, Michael.
05:24We know.
05:26So,
05:27where'd you go next?
05:28Well, then we went to the most beautiful little wedding chapel
05:31where my mother was waiting with the justice of the peace,
05:33and we got married.
05:35Thank you very much.
05:39Mike, what did you think of Robin's mother?
05:41Well, I gotta be honest, Chuck,
05:43I wasn't too ecstatic.
05:46You know, I looked at her mom,
05:48the first thing I thought was,
05:49wow, this lady really needs a hair weave.
05:51And I'm sorry, Robin,
05:54I'm really sorry, darling,
05:56but your mom's head,
05:57her forehead is just way too big
05:59and she just has a little,
06:00too little hair to cover it.
06:02You know?
06:03Well, I tell you something, though,
06:04what really separates Robin from her mom is class.
06:08Because the Franks were still bothering me
06:09because I had a boiled egg, too.
06:11And I kind of cut one in the car, you know?
06:13And her mom made a big stink out of it.
06:20Robin, we're almost out of time.
06:21Tell us about the rest of the day.
06:22Well, Charles,
06:24after the bank,
06:27the lithium began to wear off
06:28and Michael went a little wild.
06:30Oh, come on, Robin.
06:31What happened, Mike?
06:33Oh, well, well, Chuck,
06:34it was really simple.
06:35It was quite innocent.
06:36You know, I was in the parking lot
06:38picking up the car,
06:38I'm waiting on Robin and her mom,
06:40and I see this girl.
06:41She has a really nice butt.
06:42So I walk over.
06:43I go, hi, my name is Mike.
06:44And then I shove my tongue down her throat,
06:46you know?
06:46And this guy comes over and goes,
06:48hey, that's my mother.
06:49So I punch him in his butt, you know,
06:50and he started making little moving noises.
06:52It was pretty funny.
06:53He was like, oh, God,
06:54I'm bleeding internally.
06:56It was pretty funny, you know?
06:57And it reminded me of the Bonecrested Smith fight
06:59where I hit him in his third rib
07:01and then tried to push his nose up
07:02in his brain, you know?
07:03And I came over the rib.
07:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:05Ding, ding.
07:06Down.
07:09Ding.
07:11Wow, that was quite a date.
07:15Let's see who our audience picked for you.
07:18Was it Mike?
07:21John Kennedy, Jr.
07:24Or Donald Trump?
07:30They picked Mike by 41%.
07:32So if you two would like to go out again,
07:34ultimately, Mike will pay for it.
07:37Well, there is a lovely little fur salon
07:42I'd like to go to.
07:43Michael, I wouldn't mind.
07:45What about you, Mike?
07:49Oh, I guess it's all right, Robin.
07:54Well, be sure to come back and tell us about it.
07:57Hey, Mike, maybe I'll see you on Scrabble sometime.
07:59You're right.
08:01Hey, it's Daddy.
08:03E-X-K-I-T.
08:07All right?
08:08Are you gonna tell him he's wrong?
08:12Well, that's it, folks.
08:13I'm Chuck Woolery.
08:14Until next time, may all your dates
08:16be a matter of public record.
08:17On July 20th, 1969,
08:36Apollo astronauts Neil Armstrong,
08:38Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins,
08:40and Slick Johnson orbited the moon.
08:42Collins remained in the command module,
08:44and Armstrong, Aldrin, and Johnson
08:46landed the small lunar module
08:48on the moon's surface.
08:50While the men were exploring the area,
08:52Armstrong received word from Mission Control
08:54that a system malfunction had left them
08:56with only enough fuel
08:57to take three of the four pioneers
09:00safely back to Earth.
09:02After conferring with Collins and Aldrin,
09:04Armstrong sent Johnson out
09:06to find a nice spot to play volleyball.
09:09Minutes later, the landing module took off,
09:12leaving Slick behind.
09:14Hey, come on, y'all.
09:15Stop playing, man.
09:16Yo, that's not funny.
09:18That's not funny, man.
09:19Come back here.
09:19The mission was an otherwise perfect success,
09:22and an embarrassed NASA
09:23deleted all references to Johnson
09:26from its official literature.
09:28Tonight, we salute Slick Johnson,
09:30the first black man on the moon.
09:33I'm Tommy Davidson
09:34with another great moment in black history.
09:36Yo, yo, yo, all you bad bargain hunters out there,
09:49welcome to the Homeboy Shopping Network.
09:53Yo, we're the hosts with the most.
09:55I'm Wiz, this the Iceman.
09:57Sure.
09:58Yo, let's show him what we got.
10:04For all this stuff, man.
10:06It's like a warehouse set.
10:08Let's show him what we got.
10:09Let's show him first time.
10:10All right, we got this.
10:11For your automotive needs,
10:13we got car phones.
10:15We got car stereos.
10:16We got car alarms.
10:18And if you act now,
10:19we could probably get the car.
10:21Probably.
10:23Yo, give them the number.
10:25All right, um, yeah.
10:28Operators are standing by.
10:30555-4396.
10:35Yo, our next item up for sale,
10:38jewelry, jewelry, jewelry.
10:40Look at all this stuff.
10:41Look at all this.
10:41Lovely assortment of gold chains.
10:43Some of them have been broken in transit, though.
10:46Oh, lovely diamond clustered ring.
10:49Oh, wow, look at this one.
10:50Oh, man.
10:52You gonna keep it?
10:52That's, like, yeah.
10:56I'm sorry, customers.
10:58That was merely a display item.
11:01We got car alarms already.
11:03Yes!
11:05Hello?
11:06Welcome to the Homeboy Shopping Network.
11:08That's my wife's ring.
11:10If I ever get my hands on you,
11:12you sleazy, slimy son of...
11:14Ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:15Another satisfied customer.
11:19Yo, check these out.
11:21This is something really special.
11:23Now, now, these are some...
11:24These are top-of-the-line stuff, man.
11:26You know, these are some of the finer TVs
11:28you might find in some of the better hotels.
11:30Matter of fact,
11:31these are the same TVs you find
11:33in a better hotel.
11:34Yeah.
11:35Yo, check it out.
11:37They're a little wobbly, right?
11:38They're a little wobbly.
11:39But check this out.
11:40If you act now,
11:42we'll throw in these free Gideon Bibles.
11:44You just throw it up,
11:45you know what I mean?
11:46Like that.
11:47Check it out.
11:49Straight.
11:50Oh, yeah.
11:51Now, for you cable buffs out there, man,
11:53we got something special for you.
11:55Check this out.
11:56Check this out.
11:56Now,
11:58yo,
12:03not only will you get, like,
12:07all the cable stations out there,
12:09but you'll be able to talk directly
12:11to the astronauts.
12:15Ain't that lovely?
12:16Show them the other stuff.
12:17Show them the other stuff.
12:18Now, this,
12:19this is something special.
12:21You talk about at-home baking,
12:23Yo, yo, yo.
12:29All you gotta do
12:30is hook this bad boy up in your house, man.
12:33And what you got?
12:34You throw the card in there, boom.
12:35Or somebody else's card, boom.
12:37Like that.
12:38Mo money, mo money, mo money.
12:48Uh-oh.
12:49Do I hear a blue light special?
12:51I think so.
12:52Well, you know what that means.
12:54That's right.
12:54We're moving locations.
12:56So, join us next week
12:57on the Homeboy Shopping Network.
12:59Same time, different corner.
13:01Peace.
13:02Peace.
13:03Peace.
13:04Peace.
13:05Peace.
13:11Peace.
14:11Oh Lord, I thought I flushed my toilet.
14:19I'm the one who saved you from the IRS.
14:22You belong to me now.
14:24And when you finish cleaning up and dusting in here,
14:27I want you to come in the room, massage my feet,
14:30and bop the pedals on my back.
14:32Oh Lord, there's got to be a better way.
14:38Somebody help me.
14:39Eddie Richard Lamont.
14:41Somebody tell Michael Jackson, come get bubbles.
14:43Come here, you old geezer.
14:48You, my Lord, so let me knackle.
14:52If your breasts drop any lower, they're going to be knees.
15:00You got no dabble in you.
15:03Oh Lord, somebody help me.
15:05I'd give you five of these,
15:06but I don't want to get none of that dog spit on my hand.
15:08You're going to make love to me if it kills you, friend.
15:11It will.
15:12Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you, honey,
15:14with a half a bottle of Ripple and an old toothbrush.
15:17Save me.
15:17I was buying a shirt at this clothing store,
15:26and I was out of cash,
15:27so I gave the salesman my Equity Express gold card.
15:30I got a call from the store manager.
15:32He said he was suspicious of a customer
15:34trying to use an Equity Express card.
15:36From the manager's description of the man,
15:38it was clear he wasn't the right sort
15:39to be carrying a gold card, if you know what I mean.
15:42So I ran a check on his credit.
15:45I knew my credit was good,
15:47because I just paid my bill.
15:48But the manager asked to see my driver's license.
15:50I gave him that.
15:51My birth certificate.
15:52No problem.
15:53Mother's maiden name.
15:54I had that, too.
15:56You see, this had happened before.
15:57He answered all of our questions easily.
16:00There was no doubt that it was his card.
16:03But I wasn't giving up so fast.
16:05I asked to speak to the customer directly.
16:08Then the lady asked me
16:09who won the Bob Hope Invitational Golf Tournament in 1978.
16:14I said, kiss my butt, bitch.
16:17Approve my credit.
16:19I had him.
16:21Use of obscenity over interstate phone lines
16:23is a federal offense.
16:24So I asked the store manager to stall him
16:27while I called the police.
16:29So they told me everything was cool,
16:31and they started treating me real nice.
16:34A little too nice.
16:35They gift-wrapped my shirt.
16:37They served me hors d'oeuvres
16:39and started doing magic tricks.
16:41Then it got a little late,
16:42so I got up to leave.
16:44Luckily, the cops got there in time.
16:47Sure, he sued us and won.
16:49But it was still fun to do,
16:50and the store manager was grateful.
16:52You see, helping people
16:55is what we're all about.
17:01Equity Express.
17:02Don't leave your crib without it.
17:04Or your driver's license.
17:06Or your birth certificate.
17:07Or your high school diploma.
17:08Or your blood type.
17:09Or your passport.
17:10Or your dental records.
17:11Or your fingerprints.
17:12Or a notarized medicine.
17:13Who's mad at?
17:31Who's fabulous?
17:31Who's fabulous?
17:32Who's fabulous?
17:33Who's she?
17:34Who's so fabulous?
17:34Who's so fabulous?
17:34Who's worldsette?
17:35Who's robust?
17:35Who's BLACK CARE
17:37And now, Public Access presents Men on Films.
18:07Hello, I'm Blaine Edwards.
18:11And I'm Antoine Merriweather.
18:13And welcome to Men on Films.
18:16We're gonna be reviewing the latest films.
18:18From a male point of view.
18:20First up is that controversial movie, Do the Right Thing.
18:24Now, I really like little Spike Lee's courage in making this film.
18:28I especially like the way he mixed the racial tension with the violence
18:32in order to give his message, do the right thing.
18:35Come on out the closet, don't be afraid to be who you is.
18:38Black, white, whatever.
18:40Ain't that the truth, Ruth?
18:43Now I'd like to talk about an exciting new film, Karate Kid Part 3.
18:48It's all about men working out their problems in a very physical way.
18:51It was all so primitive.
18:53Mm-hmm.
18:54And you know, I really enjoyed Mr. Miyagi, played by little Pat Morito.
18:57Ooh, and that Ralph Macchio.
18:59Three words.
19:00Fabulous.
19:01Boy, I hope I look that good when I'm 40.
19:08Stop.
19:09But I have to disagree.
19:11I disagree.
19:12There's just too much violence in this movie.
19:14Don't get mad.
19:16Don't get mad.
19:27You better give me back my scarf.
19:29Don't hate me, cause I'm beautiful.
19:32They went all wrong.
19:37What's all this kicking about?
19:38This is a movie about relationships.
19:40This could have been a beautiful picture about the special friendship
19:43between a mature, masculine older man and a tender, ripening, consenting young man.
19:51See, I think America's ready for that.
19:54You know I know I am.
19:57I bet you is.
19:59Now I'd like to talk about a film I've been anxiously waiting to see, Great Balls of Fire.
20:09I ain't gonna touch it.
20:11But the title alone gets two snaps up.
20:24Now let's talk about some films that are soon to come out on video.
20:28First up is Black Widow, starring Teresa Russell and Deborah Winger.
20:33Hated it.
20:35Also coming out is Miss Firecracker.
20:38Is that Gene Anthony Ray's new movie?
20:40Holly Hunter.
20:45Hated it.
20:47Hated it.
20:48And we finally have Dangerous Liaison, starring John Malkovich and Glenn Close.
20:54You know, John Malkovich is like every moviegoer's fantasy.
20:58I found myself just alone at night just thinking about his intensity.
21:03Yeah.
21:05What did you think of Glenn Close?
21:07Oh, I loved him.
21:10And I really have to admire the producers for Dan to cast a man in that role.
21:13I mean, that really made the picture for me.
21:17Hello?
21:18Glenn Close is a woman.
21:20Clutch the pearls.
21:21What a sneaky thing to do.
21:22Well, looks like we almost out of time.
21:32Would you join us next week when we talk about Mel Gibson's Lethal Weapon?
21:36I hope it's loaded.
21:37You pray right.
21:38It's a great event.
21:39I do it.
21:40It's a great event.
21:41I do it.
21:42It's a great event.
21:43I do it.
21:44It's a great event.
21:45I do it.
21:46It's a great event.
21:47I do it.
21:48It's a great event.
21:49I do it.
21:52All right.
21:57Well, on behalf of the cast, myself, I want to thank you all for joining us tonight.
22:04Bye.
22:05Bye.
22:06Bye.
22:07Bye.
22:08Bye.
22:09Bye.
22:10Bye.
22:11Bye.
22:12Bye.
22:13Bye.
22:14Bye.
22:15Bye.
22:16Bye.
22:17Bye.
22:18Bye.
22:19Bye.
22:20Bye.
22:21Bye.
22:22Bye.
22:23Bye.
22:24Bye.
22:25Bye.
22:26Bye.
22:27Bye.
22:28Bye.
22:29Bye.
22:30Bye.
22:31Bye.
22:32Bye.
22:33Bye.
22:34You can do what you want to do in living color.