Smoker Lady's Crazy Morning

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman in Coldwater, MI who had an insane morning where she not only robbed a place but also crashed into a store.

Transcript

00:00there is a michigan woman who had the craziest morning she is from cold water michigan she's

00:1337 years old she's gonna face a number of charges at first she decided she needed some booze and

00:22smokes normal 7 47 in the morning good morning world hello cold water time to get some breakfast

00:32kick the day off the right way but rick's party store was an open come on rick open up rick you

00:41know me you know it is rick it's breakfast time rick didn't stop her though she threw something

00:49through the glass doors boom i'm in bitch grab as much booze and smokes as she could remove

00:57breakfast breakfast lunch dinner breakfast lunch dinner breakfast there's a weekend

01:07she then drove to the speedway gas station next door yeah and she told the clerk

01:16i just broke into rick's and i need some gas hey uh listen rick's gonna get all worked up

01:24about someone breaking into his place just let rick know it was me he wasn't here to open up the

01:31joint i needed my breakfast she then slipped him a bloody 20 bill there you go i got a little cut

01:37there is blood on this man yeah that's my blood from breaking into rick's oh dear

01:42all right now give me a pack of marlboro light there you go by that time police police arrive

01:49responding to the alarm at rick's she took off drove right into the walmart store oh no right

01:56into it the blue steel security post right through the wow boom who the hell put a walmart here

02:04i'm uh well i'm in here might as well do some shopping

02:10officers had difficulty getting her suv out later because of the post that were there but she somehow

02:18managed to drive right between two of them her vehicle did uh knock down uh the greeter

02:24mark reeder got knocked down son of a bitch martin roberts was definitely an old guy yeah

02:31all my bones are crushed i was just greeting and the next thing i knew hey uh aren't you supposed

02:38to say hi to me how rude oh hey listen how much for that uh sweater over there with all the cats on

02:45my organs are failing probably because you're old um that luckily that old man was the only one in

02:52her way the greeter um when she jumped out of her suv is she yelled everyone needs to get out

02:57as an officer approached she was chugging from a bottle of vodka she had taken from rick's party

03:08store stop right there oh my lord we're gonna let her finish but that's impressive i've never seen

03:21anything like it taser still finished yeah wild warning oh my god right come on that's crazy what a

03:32beautiful body i don't know oh my god she's inside dude she's not just through the doors

03:43everybody out everybody out lisa she's like she drove like all the way in

03:49i don't know she's like way in the main entrance she's in the main entrance you know they have

04:04specials right at the front oh i see the doors behind her she's like she's like oh i don't need

04:09the pharmacy i'll keep going a bit parked right by the pharmacy poor old martin the greeter look at

04:15the cart is on a knockdown martin probably was holding that right they want to be hard

04:20oh don't you think martin is behind like way behind she clipped martin and left him in the dust

04:26your muffler's burning my chin it's burning me bad you guys anyone hear anything i hear an old man

04:34please i'm under your vehicle the undercarriage is singeing my old skin what are you doing under

04:42there you hit me yeah right every bone's done insurance damage to her car though i'm amazed a

04:49little bit but not as much there's the damage to rick's party store too it's a certain kind of

04:54living you know some people like cornflakes some people like the cool taste of vodka straight

05:03so um she was taken to the hospital for minor injuries they're waiting for walmart to give an

05:11estimate of the damage and also an inventory of all the items stolen from rick's she has no record

05:18she did have an arrest as a minor for an alcohol violation but no major records in branch county

05:25a couple of traffic violations too warrants for her arrest are pending right now so that's why she

05:31hasn't officially been arrested so no identification just her agency wow there's my wrist go ahead and

05:36slap them clean coppers yeah oh you're not arresting me all right i'm out of you

05:43no charges yet

05:47i hope poor martin's okay

05:51i don't know what his condition is yeah i'm dead

05:54i've died i died well into her visit to walmart no martin that's an insurance scam by that martin guy

06:02i'm a gross underneath my car i never hit him i'm gonna haunt that nasty bitch

06:06craziest morning ever

06:09ah

06:10oh

06:26oh

Category

Transcript

Recommended