Going Left Handed

Beasley Digital

James had to have surgery after an incident involving his hand and a refrigerator and the show talks about the issues of having to wipe yourself with the opposite hand.

Transcript

00:00James was off yesterday he had hand surgery done and it turns out it was from an incident

00:10weeks ago that you really regret yeah well what happened was we briefly mentioned it on the air

00:17but I got into a fight with my refrigerator at home yeah yeah I was having a bit of a hard time

00:21and nobody fired up the taxi theme for me and I just went into full rage mode yeah and punched

00:27the crap out of my fridge yeah and immediately I knew something was kind of weird but I didn't

00:31think I broke my hand because I had I could move all my fingers there wasn't a lot of pain

00:34it was just really swollen but something was weird yeah so I'm like well I'm gonna let it heal a

00:39little bit get the swelling to go down because I've broken my wrist before and I know like when

00:43you go in with a broken bone there's not a lot they're gonna do with the swelling there they

00:46want the swelling to go down so the bone can heal or whatever so yeah let the swelling go down and

00:51there was still this huge massive like lump in the side of my hand and I was like well time to go

00:57get an x-ray and of course I went in to get the x-ray then I find out that it's broken and then I

01:02find out that they need to put a couple pins in to hold it in place and now I'm a gimp for the next

01:06couple months yeah wow so you were living with a broken hand for a couple of weeks yeah about two

01:12and a half about two weeks yeah I wonder if that has been the turning point though for a lot of guys

01:16like you James where they have rage issues and they they put their arm through a wall or something

01:20and then they're like all right that's that one it wouldn't be to me it wouldn't be the damage of

01:25the fridge it wouldn't be the damage of a wall it'd be the cash of like getting it fixed yeah the cash

01:32is bad but like I feel bad like I did this to myself so I'm trying to take responsibility for it

01:37yeah um it's embarrassing to have to tell people but I feel bad that okay now I'm putting people out

01:40at work that people haven't covered for me with stuff at work uh you know I got my parents worried

01:44that now I got to go in for a surgery someone could have to wipe your ass yeah dude wiping my butt with my

01:49left hand I'm like trying to wipe my butt in another dimension I don't trying to figure this

01:52out this is the biggest struggle so far is figuring out how to wipe my butt I bet no sure I've done it

01:59listen I've done it like I've just tried it as like uh what what would happen you've gone left

02:07handed dude it's the I challenge anyone to go left handed today I've never thought of why I should

02:12try it but in honor of James people should try to go left handed today and everyone will have a dirty

02:18well they will well then go right handed but just try to go left handed and realize how bad it is

02:24yeah it's wild man just trying to like get back there and figure it all out listen I'm gonna I'll

02:29be honest my body is used to contorting to one side oh yeah I got my body is not as flexible

02:37on that side the other way it's the truth you're not used to it you're not used to it yeah

02:44your whole skeletal system why you even attempted it I have no idea I don't understand Chuck's a man

02:49of science I guess he is everybody should try you should try to do it with your left hand you need

02:53to be a switch wiper you need to get your bidet that we've been talking about yeah well we're

02:57working on a bathroom upgrade yeah blast that out of your ass a little while um this might need it

03:02Jason the Jew actually he had to go left handed too when he remember when oh yeah he put his hand

03:06for a window trying to kill a wasp that's right he said it was a bitch a lot of hand issues on the

03:11show yeah someone said literally just tried to wipe my butt left-handed hardest thing I've ever done

03:16in my life I know hardest thing I've ever done in my life come on there's your new social media

03:20challenge everybody the left-handed wipe yeah in honor of James don't share your videos with us

03:25yes we can share your videos share your videos no one wants to see that I do they say going

03:31opposite-handed makes you feel like your butthole is totally moved on your body like it's out of

03:35place I'm telling you it's wild I've tried it so you try it you won't understand you don't it's

03:41it's like you don't even know where your parts are yeah you're like wait is this my butthole oh no

03:45oh there's my butthole I feel like I couldn't misplace my butthole you can with your other arm your

03:50brain's not telling you where it's at no your brain's like good luck this is the dirt road your left

03:55hand has never traveled down yeah I hope I never have to but I hope you never have to also someone

04:00else says James go between your legs it's much easier I know but then I feel like I'm gonna like

04:04fist bump a turd in the toilet bowl like you know I don't maybe flush first oh I guess I could do that

04:09the worst things I've ever heard fist bump a turd I did consider going through my legs this morning

04:18but I was like nah I'm a standing wiper too like I don't oh I don't sit and wipe he stands and wipes

04:24I forgot you're a nightmare you're a stand wiper yeah I can't handle it I don't know how you guys

04:28can sit and wipe without it's easy getting a poop mess all over no it's easy peasy what I feel like

04:33how far is your hand going down there when you stand up your butt cheeks go back together I know

04:38I know it we we've talked about it before and I never got it then through the legs wipe is like

04:45a very that's a very feminine but isn't like I can go from front to back that way well I mean I

04:51don't even like really through my middle I can't reach my butthole you can't no I can't I could never

04:59like I could never I can't you guys can't come on you can no I mean I don't think sorry this is

05:05awkward but let's all I feel like I got it no dude my arms are too short no I don't I got long I

05:10have super long arms yeah I got I got like all this I got this whole situation between me and my

05:17butthole I just feel like that way I just I just be flicking it like I wouldn't be taking care of

05:23it sounds like a recipe for a mess yeah I mean if I really like did some circus contortion and like

05:29extended to the point of pain I could get like maybe the half bottom half 50 percent of my butthole

05:36yeah but then that's the whole top half it leaves James you just need to have someone come around

05:40to work with you to wipe your butt perfect yeah I'm going to start holding open auditions this week

05:45can you imagine if they were standing there in this his studio this is my butt wiper it's just a guy

05:52sitting in the corner waiting for James to poop he's just in the bag he's reading magazines all hot

05:55punks are encouraged to apply open jars for him yeah Lisa's like oh my god that guy's gorgeous

06:01Lisa you can use him too it's okay whatever you need him for oh yeah that is bizarre he's his

06:08right-hand man yeah that's really legitimately what he is absolutely anyway good luck to James

06:14and his butt wiping and um hopefully his hand will be better soon yeah thanks guys so we can put that

06:21all behind him

06:22all right

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