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Dave & Chuck the Freak received an e-mail from a listener who has an aunt that keeps talking to him about Aunt porn. Then, as he usually does, Jason reveals way too much about Aunt porn.

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from Five Hour Energy?
00:02Oh yeah, I had mine this morning. Now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:05My superpowers.
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light. It's not radioactive.
00:10I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:23One guy is wondering, why does my aunt keep asking me this?
00:30What is it?
00:32He says, and I won't name him, I can't tell if my aunt is being creepy, or if she thinks
00:41I'm the creepy one. She and I talk a couple of times each month, and lately she's been making
00:49some weirdly frequent references to ant porn.
00:54Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58That's inappropriate all the way around.
01:01It's all over the place.
01:02But, um, I guess it's something she recently learned about and thinks it's funny to talk
01:08about, or maybe she's into it, or she thinks I'm into it, and she's feeling me out about it.
01:17Either way, guys, it is pretty awkward.
01:19And, of course, who else would I talk to about this except Dave and Chuck the Freak?
01:26No one has ants like these women and these porns, just so that everyone's clear on that.
01:33We have a family reunion coming up in a couple of weeks.
01:37Do I address it with her, or just stay silent and hope she stops talking about it?
01:43Wow.
01:45I kind of just awkwardly laugh anytime she brings it up now.
01:50Please help.
01:51It's not good.
01:52I don't even know how to help you. I honestly don't. I don't even know.
01:56How do you?
01:58Have you seen that ant porn that everyone's watching?
02:01Crazy, huh? Hot ants.
02:04I guess the only thing you can do is just lose the laughter.
02:10I get real serious about it?
02:11Just be like, just don't laugh anymore.
02:16I think one time of not laughing anymore at it might stop it.
02:23So, obviously, there's stepmom porn and all that. It's just the same thing.
02:27Oh, yeah. Yeah.
02:28There's a lot of ant stuff because I think people don't want to go all the way with mom and stepmom.
02:42So, they go ant to make it a little more acceptable.
02:45It's still not great. It's your mom or dad's sister.
02:47Yeah, it's dipping your toes in.
02:49It's family.
02:50There's a whole collection.
02:52See, I think stepmom free use of it.
02:57I think there's a whole collection of this ant stuff.
03:00We'll explain.
03:07So, you're just going to awkwardly laugh like he does?
03:08No, no. I'll say it.
03:10Go ahead.
03:11Everybody knows a Judy.
03:13Right?
03:14Sure.
03:14Sure.
03:15Sure.
03:15Ann Judy's.
03:18What?
03:19I don't know what's happening.
03:20What?
03:21You're going to have to explain it.
03:21What do you say, Ann Judy, and kind of nod and link at the same time?
03:24Oh, that's it.
03:25What does that mean?
03:26Ann Judy's.
03:27If you want to see Ann porn, you look up Ann Judy's.
03:31It's got everything you need.
03:37I don't know.
03:37I don't know where he's getting his stuff.
03:40Is that like a website?
03:41No, it's just a collection that is on some of the websites.
03:45I didn't even know that.
03:47Well, why would you know Ann Judy's?
03:49I don't.
03:49It's a specific thing that sometimes in your searches you find.
03:52Yeah, I don't know that.
03:54Ann Judy's.
03:55I just know that it is suggested quite often in like the top.
04:00If there are 50 videos, they're in there.
04:03It's in there.
04:04Here's something weird.
04:05Mm-hmm.
04:06How I feel.
04:07How do you feel?
04:09Stepmom porn, wrong.
04:12But at least she's not related to you.
04:14Yes, but it's all in the-
04:16So it's somewhat, somewhat better.
04:18Not great.
04:19The aunt could be your mom's brother or sister's spouse.
04:23Gross.
04:25Yes, that's true.
04:26Right, or it's like step-aunt or like my girlfriend's aunt.
04:29Yeah.
04:30Okay.
04:31Right.
04:31Yeah.
04:32All right.
04:32There's all sorts of ways to get it away from like incest.
04:37I just think to your aunt, you just say gross.
04:40Yeah, you gotta put it out there.
04:42Don't laugh like it's-
04:43Right.
04:43Because it's inappropriate.
04:44She shows-
04:45I don't want to talk about that with you.
04:46What's wrong?
04:48It's gross.
04:49Big one.
04:50You're my aunt.
04:50Right.
04:51I can't imagine my sweet little Auntie Anne talking to me about aunt porn.
04:55Dear God almighty.
04:57Honestly, I hope she never discovers it.
04:58No, she doesn't even know that people shave their bush.
05:00There's no way she's watching aunt porn.
05:02I hope she never discovers it.
05:03Life is life.
05:12Um, yeah, just so he's got to not, he's awkwardly laughing and I get that, right?
05:17Right, that's what it is.
05:18I can do that sometimes.
05:19Yeah.
05:19It's like, oh God, yeah.
05:21But you just have to stop that completely and let her know that you're not-
05:25The laughter has encouraged it.
05:28Yeah, it has, right.
05:30And, you know, I think a lot of aunts out there are possibly just trying to like be your
05:37buddy and she misread this whole thing.
05:41You can't talk about porn with a family member.
05:43I don't think it's innocent.
05:44I think it's something that there's something up with it.
05:46I think it's weirdness, right?
05:47I don't think it just shouldn't be talked about.
05:49There's weird people out there, right?
05:51I guess, yeah.
05:52Someone said, I just looked it up.
05:53No thanks on the Aunt Judys, Jason.
05:58It's not for everybody.
06:01Okay, what?
06:01I don't even know what this Aunt Judys is.
06:03Okay, I'm gonna have to look it up.
06:04It's just like mature ladies and they just call them Aunt Judys.
06:08It's just like-
06:09Well, you could have said that.
06:10No, I have never seen one where it is like an old, like old aunt.
06:15So, you know how there's like-
06:16It's mature porn at Aunt Judys.
06:19Yeah, it's like, you know, there's like hugs, right?
06:22And there is auntjudys.com.
06:24Yes, it's like a thing.
06:25Oh, Jason.
06:27This is not in my wheelhouse.
06:31You don't know about this.
06:32No.
06:32No.
06:33You get the hell out of here.
06:35You know, sometimes she's going to like a tea and sandwich event.
06:40What do you call those things?
06:42Oh, yeah.
06:43Like it's just high noon, high tea.
06:45Like a tea party?
06:45Yeah.
06:46Yeah.
06:46She's got the big hat on.
06:48Yeah, she's sitting on crumpets and all, whatever those things.
06:50She'll sit on your crumpets.
06:51Puffets.
06:51What are they?
06:52To me, there's like a couple of-
06:54There's a couple of older, and I wouldn't say that old, but like getting older porn star
07:01women who have decided to get into this realm where they are like, they're like, oh, yeah,
07:08I'll make the taboo stuff, blah, blah, blah.
07:11You know?
07:11Wow.
07:13Jason.
07:13That is wild.
07:14Do you think it's easy for me?
07:16No.
07:16No.
07:16I'm just trying to-
07:18I know.
07:18You're just trying to get-
07:19Her tagline is, Aunt Judy's, home cooking since 1996.
07:23Well, that's not necessarily Judy.
07:24That's not her.
07:25You'd have to go to the page above it.
07:29That has got all the answers.
07:31Lisa, don't look.
07:33Yeah.
07:36Oh, my God, Jason.
07:38Get a hold of yourself, man.
07:41Figure stuff out, dude, because something's gone wrong.
07:45This is wild, dude.
07:47This is wild.
07:49This is all older ladies.
07:52Maggie sucks.
07:53I don't want to watch Maggie suck.
07:55No, you don't.
07:57No, you don't.
07:58This is all older ladies, man.
08:00This is wild stuff.
08:03Jason, you're into-
08:04Holy crap.
08:05He's into-
08:06Holy crap.
08:07Nobody said I've done anything to any of this stuff.
08:10Look at the bush.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Sometimes you just find stuff.
08:14Granny Diane gives you a handjob.
08:17What are you watching?
08:18Oh, my God.
08:19Dude, I'm crying.
08:22Crying.
08:23I'm crying.
08:24No one was ready for Aunt Judy.
08:27Aunt Judy.
08:28No.
08:29Oh, my goodness.
08:31Grandma.
08:32Oh, the knockers are horrible.
08:34Oh, yeah.
08:35What about the last scene?
08:37Hold on.
08:38I didn't.
08:38I turned away.
08:39Yeah.
08:39Get through the-
08:42It's like, you know when corn dies on the cob?
08:45Yeah.
08:46That's what her body looks like.
08:48Well, she's very old.
08:51Butter it up.
08:53Oh, man.
08:53Like, the only things-
08:54That's enough of Aunt Judy.
08:55All the better for nibbling days.
08:57The only things I've ever been.
08:58All the better for nibbling days.
08:59You got problems, man.
09:01You got problems, man.
09:01You got problems.
09:02You didn't?
09:02No.
09:02Have you seen any good TV shows?
09:05She's like, thank you.
09:07Corn.
09:08Possibly straight guy corn there.
09:10Corn.
09:11Corn.
09:12The corn.
09:14Oh, doesn't know his name.
09:16No.
09:17Yeah, so for the guy, back to the email.
09:20The guy who keeps bringing up ant porn that Jason knows way too much about.
09:25Shut it down.
09:26No laughing.
09:27No awkward giggling.
09:28Just be like, oh, yeah, that's kind of gross.
09:31Yeah.
09:31That's all you need to say.
09:32That will stop it.
09:35Yep.
09:36You need to stop it.
09:37You need to stop it.
09:38Stop it!
09:40Just say that.
09:40Are we done?
09:41Are we done?
09:42Are we done?
09:43Nope.
09:44I've said too much.
09:45Yeah.
09:45Wow, you always do.
09:46You've revealed.
09:47That's why I was-
09:48It reveals a lot.
09:49I'm not going to hesitate.
09:51I know you knew not to do it.
09:52I know.
09:54Oh, so foolish.
09:56Aunt Judy.
09:57Knew nothing about it.
09:58You opened up an Aunt Judy box that you cannot shut down.
10:01Unbelievable.
10:01You know, it's all right.
10:03Yep.
10:04Fantasy blends reality.
10:05Yeah.
10:06This helps a couple fellas out.
10:08Oh.

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