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  • 6/23/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Florida who broke into a house to cook food and take a bubble bath after an argument with his lady. Then, ask listener to share their "bubble bath" moments!

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from Five Hour Energy?
00:02Oh yeah, I had mine this morning, now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:05My superpowers!
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light, it's not radioactive!
00:10I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:22Man, Florida's effed up.
00:25Well, this guy traded the ball and chain for handcuffs.
00:30A Florida man broke into a random house and hung out there for several days
00:38to avoid going home to his angry wife.
00:40That's one of my fears.
00:42This is one of my fears because I've set my home up in such a way that it's a man solitude.
00:49And I have friends that are like, can I just come over for it?
00:53I'm like, sorry.
00:54Your house is like one big man cave.
00:56Yeah, it really is.
00:57It's just a place for a single, one single guy.
01:00One, yeah.
01:01One single man.
01:02You don't want anyone else.
01:03No.
01:04Polk County Sheriff's deputies were called to a home in Davenport by a neighbor
01:08who was tasked with watching over the residence while the homeowner was out of town.
01:14But then he noticed some sort of suspicious activity.
01:17When the cops walked in, the man identified just as Joe, 44-year-old guy, was cooking himself
01:24dinner and had just run a luxurious bubble bath.
01:27I know, Joe.
01:28I know.
01:29I know, Joe.
01:30I get it.
01:31A lot of people know Joe.
01:33A lot of Joes out there.
01:35We assume they say the bath temperature was just right, referencing Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
01:40Joe admitted to the cops that he did not have permission to be in the house and he had no idea
01:45who owned the place.
01:47No.
01:47The 44-year-old guy justified the infraction by revealing that he had gotten into a big fight
01:52with his wife four days earlier and broke into this random house just so he could avoid returning
01:58home to face her wrath.
02:00I get it.
02:01I do get it.
02:02Why don't you go run yourself a bath, Joe?
02:05Go on upstairs, run yourself a bath.
02:08Here's a bath bomb.
02:09So he couldn't afford to check into a hotel and have a nice, relaxing couple of days.
02:14No.
02:14He had to break into someone's house.
02:15Who can do that anymore?
02:16Joe sounds like a mess.
02:17Yeah, Joe's not great, but a lot of Joes out there.
02:21Yeah, there's a lot of Joes.
02:22Despite the excuse, Joe was hit with felony, unarmed burglary, misdemeanor, petty theft,
02:29and domestic battery charges.
02:31Yeah, for the bath bomb and all that stuff.
02:34He stole their bubble bath.
02:35He did.
02:37He did.
02:38I mean, it's ruined.
02:39You know you are a cracked man when you're in a stranger's house running yourself a bubble
02:45bath, right?
02:46Yeah.
02:47Yeah.
02:47Like you have gone over the edge.
02:48And I'd love to say that whoever's at home is like, oh, wow.
02:55Joe, my husband, Joe, just broke into a place because of how I make him feel.
03:01Maybe I should change.
03:02But you know what?
03:04No one's changing.
03:05No.
03:05No.
03:06Joe had to break.
03:07He can't even afford a hotel room.
03:08He can't.
03:09Joe's not great.
03:10Joe's a mess.
03:10Stuff's not great, Lisa.
03:11Okay, I'm going to defend the wife here.
03:16Good luck.
03:16Come on.
03:18Maybe she took all Joe's money, Lisa.
03:20Maybe Joe's paying for all the stuff.
03:23Joe breaks into someone's home.
03:26I would love to see Joe.
03:27I know.
03:27I would love to see Joe.
03:28He hasn't been fully identified yet.
03:30You know he's a mess.
03:31I guess you could react in many ways.
03:33Like the only time I may have come close to this is when Amber rear-ended me on the highway.
03:38Yeah.
03:38It was an accident.
03:40I know it was an accident, Lisa, but my wife still rear-ended me.
03:43Yeah.
03:43Yeah.
03:44It's not great.
03:44It's not great.
03:45You've got to tell the insurance company that.
03:47It's terrible.
03:48But I just went home and sank to the bottom of the pool.
03:51Yes.
03:51And tried to stay there as long as I could.
03:53Yep.
03:54I could have just broke into someone else's house and had a bubble bath.
03:57Yeah.
03:58Yeah.
03:58See, it was me that I broke my own father.
04:01When my dad had his bubble bath moment, we call it the day he went to see Hunt for Red October by himself.
04:09Was that the first time he'd ever gone to a movie by himself?
04:11That's the first time I've ever seen my dad go to a movie.
04:14But he had to leave because of how I was pushing all of his buttons.
04:17And we got in a big fight.
04:18And he was like, that's it.
04:20And he left.
04:20He left.
04:21And he watched Hunt for Red October by himself.
04:23We've got to ask, guys.
04:24Guys, what was your bubble bath moment?
04:26Yeah.
04:26Because I think it happened.
04:27What made you snap?
04:29Temporarily.
04:29Not bad.
04:30Not bad.
04:30Just like, I've got to go.
04:33I've got to work into someone's house and make dinner and have a bubble bath.
04:35I've got to go.
04:36And what did you go do?
04:38Right.
04:39That's what I want to know.
04:40What was your bubble bath moment?
04:41You can chime in here.
04:431-855-954-6969.
04:46And Lisa will be defending the ladies the whole way through.
04:48Of course.
04:49You can also text us at 46969.
04:52We're not the best.
04:53What made you snap?
04:54And what did you do when it came to dealing with your wife?
04:58This guy broke into a stranger's house for four days and was busted as he was cooking dinner
05:04and had just run a bubble bath.
05:06He just had to get away for a while.
05:07He had to have some Joe time.
05:09Yep.
05:09I think I took about a four-hour walk one time.
05:14Didn't you get out of the car somewhere?
05:16Oh, I got right out of a car.
05:18Yes.
05:18No, no, no, no.
05:19That was worse.
05:20That was the first time.
05:20It was worse.
05:22I let them get out of the car and then I drove away.
05:24Oh, my God.
05:25That's wild.
05:26It was much worse.
05:27I'm surprised that didn't end right then and there.
05:29It should have.
05:30If I left Amber at the side of the road and I drove off.
05:32And that was before you were married, right?
05:33That was before I was married.
05:34I was like, you know what?
05:35I can't listen to you tell me how to parallel park.
05:37Can you get out for a second?
05:38And then I just drove off.
05:40I left her with one of my friends.
05:42The comedy aspect is amazing, but the reality aspect, holy hell.
05:46Yeah, there were signs.
05:48You know, there were some signs.
05:50There was a lot.
05:50You just don't, sometimes you don't, you don't look at them, you know?
05:56I'm just not meant to be with anyone.
05:59No, you're not.
06:00You're not.
06:00I'm not.
06:01You're not.
06:02You're not.
06:02You're not, man.
06:03I'm not.
06:04I get it.
06:04It's fine.
06:05You're hard to be around to.
06:06You've got to take some blame here, though.
06:08No, I'm fine.
06:09He's not going to take blame.
06:10I'm fine.
06:12It's just not for me.
06:13He just created a man cave now.
06:15And he has, you better protect the place because Joe is going to be breaking in there.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Well, I guess I'm going to have to make like a little, an area, like a Joe area.
06:23Like a, you can break in here.
06:25And it's kind of like cordoned off.
06:28Have you had this moment in your marriage yet?
06:30I don't think I've got there yet.
06:32Oh, no.
06:32Just wait.
06:33And now I'm just waiting.
06:34How many years have you been married?
06:36Six.
06:37Oh, yeah.
06:38Almost.
06:38Almost.
06:38You've got to hit that seven.
06:40You've got to hit that seven.
06:40Almost six.
06:41Crazy, right?
06:42Yeah, maybe seven.
06:43I'm just waiting on my bubble bath.
06:45Yeah.
06:45Like I know something.
06:47Your bubble bath is coming.
06:48Yeah.
06:48I usually am the one to aggravate her more, you know?
06:51Yes.
06:51And I think that's why she would go on solo camping trips.
06:56Right.
06:56That's her bubble bath.
06:57Yeah, that's her bubble bath.
06:59Yeah.
06:59She takes the bubble bath.
07:00That's why I'll defend the lady with you, Lisa.
07:02Yeah.
07:02Because I've been the lady.
07:03Yes, you've been the lady.
07:05I'm the lady.
07:06I've driven her off.
07:07Someone said, I was so mad that I bought new curtains and she didn't like the color.
07:18So I ripped them off the wall, curtain rods and all.
07:21He bought new curtains?
07:21He bought new curtains.
07:22Don't do that.
07:23I know.
07:24It's not a guy's place.
07:25You probably got them real cheap, right?
07:28You probably found a really good deal.
07:28You should see the curtains, Lisa.
07:29You should see the curtains that I've purchased.
07:31You have curtains?
07:32I have curtains.
07:33Well, I mean, he can do it in his own house, but I'm saying, like, I decorate.
07:37I'm in charge.
07:38The first thing that would happen if a girl ever got involved with me, they would come
07:42inside, they'd look at my curtains, and they'd be like, get all that down.
07:46He's got to go.
07:46This is awful.
07:48Great.
07:49So I ripped them off the wall, he said, curtain rods and all.
07:52Yeah.
07:53Went to the driveway and lit them on fire.
07:55Okay.
07:56It's extreme.
07:57It's a normal reaction.
07:58It's extreme.
07:58I know.
07:59We get extreme.
07:59And I packed a backpack and moved onto my boat for two weeks.
08:03Over curtains.
08:04It's so funny when you look back at fights.
08:06Sometimes you're like, that was so dumb.
08:08We fought over curtains.
08:10I overreacted.
08:11I lit them on fire.
08:12I know.
08:13Oh.
08:14To me, though.
08:15Seeing someone out on their lawn, lighting curtains on fire, you'd be like, what are
08:19they doing?
08:19But you got to sit down on my boat and talk to me, because I guarantee it was six months.
08:24That stuff has been happening for six months.
08:27Oh, light that led up to the curtain fire?
08:28And then the curtain fire happens.
08:30That's just a symptom.
08:31On a regular line here, we'll go to Lee, who is in Windsor, Ontario.
08:35Lee, what was your bubble bath moment that made you snap?
08:37Oh, a few years ago, I was down in Myrtle Beach with my girlfriend.
08:42We were on vacation.
08:44And she forgot to pack my favorite phony Rolex.
08:48And I kind of lost it on her.
08:52So I left the hotel and I headed down the main strip.
08:55And this fella had stuck my thumb out, went down to the main strip with this guy in his
09:00Jeep.
09:00And we ended up getting picked to judge a wet t-shirt contact test at one of the local
09:07strip clubs.
09:08And somehow my girlfriend managed to track us down, I guess because of the guy's Jeep.
09:18And she came in and it was quite the scene when she found us sitting in the front row
09:24judging that wet t-shirt contest.
09:26When you said the words, she forgot to pack my fake Rolex.
09:30Lisa gave me a look like, get the hell out of here.
09:32You get the hell out of here.
09:34I still get it.
09:35Yep.
09:36Listen, some of us don't feel as cool as we possibly can without our fake Rolex.
09:42Where's my Folex?
09:45That's it.
09:46And a judge a wet t-shirt contest.
09:48I'll be back.
09:50Wow.
09:51Yep.
09:52Guys, you're not doing us proud.
09:54I gotta say, man.
09:55Yeah, it sucks.
09:56Like, I wanted some really cool sounding dudes to call in and be like, this is the reason
10:01to be upset at your woman.
10:03We're totally awesome and cool and real understanding.
10:06She forgot my fake Rolex.
10:09So I'm like, screw this.
10:10I'm going to go see some wet titties.
10:11Yep.
10:13I was waiting, you know.
10:14I wanted, I really wanted to seem like a bunch of awesome dudes.
10:17Like, you know, I'm an astronaut and I just got back from space and I'm cool.
10:25No.
10:25No.
10:26It's not, it's not how it goes.
10:28But so instead, you guys, you guys missed one word.
10:31He said, my favorite fake Rolex.
10:34So he has several.
10:36I see.
10:37You're right.
10:38You're right.
10:40You're right.
10:41We did.
10:43We did miss that.
10:46Actually, I know what I do.
10:47Wow.
10:47This is intriguing.
10:48Listen to this one.
10:49This is a female.
10:53She says, I like these.
10:55My ex-fiance found out what kind of porn I was into.
11:01He called off the wedding and moved to Alaska and went off the grid for four months.
11:09What kind of porn was she into?
11:10I'm trying to find out.
11:12Oh my God.
11:13I mean, what would it take?
11:14What would it be?
11:15It wouldn't be lesbian porn, right?
11:18No, no, no.
11:19It wouldn't.
11:19No.
11:20What would it be?
11:22BBC gangbang.
11:23It's BBC gangbang.
11:24Something like that, right?
11:26It's BBC gangbang.
11:26Whatever would intimidate you guys.
11:27I'm trying to think what we all know would send me to Alaska.
11:30What sends me to Alaska?
11:32Lesbian stuff.
11:33I've dealt with that.
11:35I'm still here.
11:36Lesbian stuff.
11:37I'm still here.
11:38That's what I'm saying.
11:39It had to be real bad.
11:40It attacks your ego, right?
11:42Yes.
11:42Like, yeah.
11:45You can't live up to this.
11:46Oh my God.
11:46She said it.
11:47Did you see it?
11:48Yeah.
11:48Is it bad, bad?
11:50Bad, bad?
11:50I don't even realize.
11:51I kind of know what this is, but not really.
11:54Oh.
11:54Blowbang Bukkake.
11:55That's a joke, right?
11:59No, it's the same.
11:59It's her.
12:00It's her.
12:01That's her.
12:03What is she?
12:03So I know what is.
12:05Right.
12:06So like.
12:06I said it.
12:07I don't know if that's a real.
12:10So just to finish all over, just massive amounts on.
12:13But what's Blowbang?
12:14I think just either way.
12:16Like, it's gangbang, but only oral.
12:20Oh, okay.
12:20Oral gangbang.
12:21Yeah, there you go.
12:22The Bukkake.
12:23It's usually just like.
12:25It's just the stuff.
12:27Right?
12:27But to get to that point, there's the oral.
12:30Did we watch it on this show where someone had like the, almost like one of those dog protection
12:37cones on their neck?
12:41And then it was being filled.
12:44I don't know if I saw that here.
12:46If you don't recall it, then it didn't happen.
12:49I think that's on his own time.
12:50Probably this.
12:52No, yes, we did.
12:53We did watch it here.
12:54Probably this.
12:55He's watching a bowl of Bukkake in his own time.
12:57We're not ready for it.
12:58Bukkake for sure.
12:59There's the Super Bowl and there's the Bukkake Bowl.
13:02You're not ready for your lady to like that.
13:04I'll tell you that right now.
13:07I mean, you get it.
13:09You get his aspect of it.
13:10Alaska, moving to Alaska.
13:11A lot of here, yeah.
13:13Because, I mean.
13:14You are engaged to be married.
13:15I know stuff is fantasy, right?
13:17I know stuff is fantasy.
13:18But at the same time, I'm like, but really, somewhere down there, somewhere inside.
13:26But you say that you watch things and you wouldn't act them out or wouldn't be, you know what I mean?
13:32Yeah, I know.
13:33It's just saying it's a fantasy thing.
13:35I know.
13:36Guys are fragile egos, though.
13:38Right.
13:38It's just so hard to deal with.
13:39They're incredibly fragile.
13:40Mm-hmm.
13:41It's so hard to deal with.
13:45Alaska's pretty bad.
13:46That's pretty bad.
13:47Yeah, I guess you could just be Bukkake with a dog bowl, a dog cone or whatever.
13:52Yeah.
13:52I'd stay.
13:53Yeah.
13:54Alaska, I'm not making it in Alaska.
13:55In Alaska?
13:56Yeah, we think that.
13:57You have to think about it.
13:57What am I doing?
13:59Dog sledding?
14:00No, not all of us guys.
14:01I can't make it in the woods here.
14:03No.
14:04Bears.
14:04None of us moved to Alaska.
14:06No, no.
14:06We choose a different place.
14:07No.
14:08And one more here.
14:09This just happened within the past hour.
14:13My wife literally hit my car backing out of the driveway this morning.
14:17Oh, God.
14:18I am currently on my way to work figuring out my bubble bath plan.
14:22Yeah.
14:23It would make you upset.
14:24I can't go home.
14:25Inconvenient, that is for sure.
14:26I can't go home.
14:27Oh, my God, no.
14:28What am I doing?
14:30Been there, man.
14:31Been there.
14:31Yeah.
14:32I know how you feel, brother.
14:33Dave does.
14:35Dave does.
14:35Go swim at the bottom of the pool for a while.
14:37That's it.
14:38Dave was like, I'm either going to drown here or I'm going to figure stuff out.
14:43And you're here.
14:44You figured it out.
14:45I figured it out.
14:46I just took some time.
14:47You didn't breathe in the water.
14:48In complete water silence.
14:50Yeah.
14:51To gather my thoughts.
14:52Not bad.
14:52Not bad.

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