- 2 days ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who killed is uncle over a honeybun and discuss where they all stand on honeybuns as a pastry item!
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00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from 5-Hour Energy?
00:03Oh yeah, I had mine this morning. Now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:06My superpowers!
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light. It's not radioactive.
00:11I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:17Warning. Dave and Chuck the Freak are going dark-sided.
00:22Everything's ungodly! Dark-sided!
00:25I know I don't speak for everyone when I say this,
00:32but one of the last pastries I would kill someone over is a honey bun.
00:37What?
00:38I agree with you.
00:40A pre-packaged, mass-produced, been sitting on the shelf for weeks honey bun?
00:45Nope.
00:46Ain't nobody need to die for that!
00:48Okay, but you guys are having the finest pastries.
00:51You know, you're not talking about a life where you can roll out and...
00:57How long have I been in prison?
00:58Yeah, exactly.
00:59It's prison stuff we're talking here.
01:02True.
01:03A honey bun in prison is like...
01:05Yeah, but this is not in prison.
01:07This is not in prison, so that changes it.
01:09A guy killed his uncle because he stole his honey bun.
01:13It ain't worth it.
01:14Wow.
01:15It ain't worth it!
01:16It ain't worth it!
01:17Look at Lisa.
01:18It's kind of reminding me.
01:20Okay, I do still believe that even some places outside of prison,
01:25a honey bun might be the best pastry that you get.
01:32I think.
01:34Depending on the place.
01:35Honey bun's a great...
01:36Depending on your...
01:37Yeah, he loves honey bun.
01:38I like a honey bun.
01:39I do too.
01:40I can't stop thinking about the ones right down the hallway.
01:43I'm gonna get a honey bun for sure today.
01:45Now, right after this, you're going to get one?
01:47Yeah.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Is it the one with the chocolate?
01:51Hmm?
01:52Or the...
01:53Whatever we got.
01:54Oh, you don't even care, huh?
01:55I don't know.
01:56Pop it in the microwave, 10 seconds.
01:57Oh, I'll be in heaven.
01:58Honey bun in heaven.
01:59I haven't had one in like a decade.
02:01I've literally tried it once in my life and went, garbage!
02:04You should try it now and see if it's worth it.
02:06No, it's not.
02:07It's not.
02:08It's not worth it.
02:09I just know Dave.
02:10And like Dave, we'll have the finest donuts delivered and Dave's like...
02:14No, but he does that because of...
02:15Not because he doesn't like it.
02:17I know.
02:18Yeah, because I don't want to eat the whole thing.
02:19But I'm just...
02:20I know Dave.
02:22And there's...
02:23He'd take one bite of a honey bun and he would be like...
02:26Honestly...
02:27It would not equal worth it to your brain.
02:30All those things that we liked when we were growing up like the Hostess cupcakes and the
02:34Twinkies and...
02:35Yeah, they're all...
02:36They're all garbage.
02:37Bad, yeah.
02:38Yeah, it's so bad.
02:39Like I have them now.
02:40I'll try one occasionally and I'll be like...
02:41Ugh!
02:42Like you expect...
02:43I don't know, your childhood memories?
02:44Well, they are different now.
02:45They changed.
02:46There's no question that they switched all that stuff up on us.
02:51You know, it's not like a Mandela effect.
02:53No.
02:54Where Hostess cupcakes used to be...
02:55They were moist and full of cream and delicious.
02:57Those things used to be delicious.
02:58Now they're dry with like a sprinkle of cream in there.
03:01Yeah.
03:02And like terrible...
03:03More chemical taste.
03:04Yeah, I had some zebra cakes that knocked my socks out.
03:06I love it.
03:07You know what?
03:08That's the worst thing you can eat.
03:09That's the one thing that I love are zebra cakes.
03:11Zebra cakes?
03:12Yeah, they're great.
03:13Very sweet, but delicious.
03:14Yeah, didn't we do a thing that is like the worst one we can eat.
03:18It's all sugar.
03:19And my whole cupboard was full of zebra cakes because that's Stella's favorite.
03:23I lived on zebra cakes in high school.
03:25Oh, man.
03:26Want me to go get you a honey bun?
03:27Want to try it?
03:28I mean, I'll try a bite.
03:29There's six bucks in there, so just be ready for that.
03:31Are you going to warm it up?
03:32Never mind.
03:33Six bucks?
03:34I don't know.
03:35I don't know.
03:36No honey bun for me.
03:37I don't know.
03:38Just give me six bucks.
03:39I can't buy it.
03:40Jess is monitoring my vending purchases all the time, so I can't buy it.
03:44Mmm.
03:45She's always watching.
03:46Yeah, I know how that goes.
03:48I was spending too much on the vending.
03:49This is where it starts.
03:50I know.
03:51This is where it starts.
03:52Uh-huh.
03:53That's why he's a free chocolate drug man.
03:54That's trouble.
03:55Yep.
03:56I can't buy it.
03:57Hot chocolate man.
03:58Anyway, here's the story of the honey bun death.
04:01Right now, a 29-year-old man is behind bars accused of killing his uncle over a pastry.
04:07This is the breaking news that 11 Alive first brought to you last Thursday when DeKalb County
04:11police swarmed a home on Loveless Drive in Ellenwood.
04:14Now, a new arrest report shows that Michael Crowley shot his uncle, 48-year-old Roderick Crowley, because he ate his honey bun.
04:22His honey bun.
04:23The warrant says that Michael called 911 and told police what he did.
04:27When officers got there, they said they found him in the woods nearby and took him into custody, charging him with malice murder.
04:34Yeah, there's more going on than just honey buns.
04:36Someone tells me that a honey bun means more to this guy than, you know.
04:40One eye is not right on this man.
04:42No.
04:43He's looking right at me.
04:44If I cover him up right here, he's looking right at and right into my soul.
04:49Can you give me your best?
04:50If I cover up the other one, he's checking Lisa out.
04:52Can you give me your best Michael Crowley?
04:53Oh, like it's tough, but.
04:55Who ate my honey bun?
04:58Was it you or you?
05:00I can't even do it.
05:03Yeah, that's tough.
05:04I will go as far as to say I wouldn't even call a honey bun a pastry.
05:10That's fair.
05:11Oh, come on now.
05:12I don't think it deserves to be called a pastry.
05:14You don't have to spread malice hate like that.
05:17I'm just saying.
05:18Malice.
05:19A pastry to me is not a honey bun.
05:22Why?
05:23Why?
05:24Yeah.
05:25Because I wouldn't call it a pastry.
05:26Well, what would you call it?
05:27It's a bun?
05:28I would call it like a mass produced dessert item.
05:31Sweet treat.
05:32Sweet treat.
05:33That's what I'm saying.
05:34If it doesn't come from the patisserie.
05:35Yeah, exactly.
05:36Me, me, me, me, me, me.
05:38That's why I said Dave would have one bite of it and be like,
05:41oh, yeah.
05:42I love that I'm the one called snobby on the show.
05:46Oh, yeah.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Whatever, Lisa.
05:49Yeah.
05:50That's my honey bun ass.
05:51Let's see here.
05:52She's like, I love zebra cakes.
05:53Why?
05:54Yeah, she's trying to fit in.
05:56Yeah.
05:57Sweet roll.
05:58Yeah, I mean, it's a sweet roll.
06:02Okay, here we go.
06:03I'm going to say something here.
06:05Uh-oh.
06:06What?
06:07I'm trying to think of like, what a honey bun.
06:09I'd rather have a honey bun over another, over like a homemade Pillsbury cinnamon roll.
06:22I'd rather have a honey bun.
06:23I don't like those Pillsbury cinnamon rolls.
06:25They got a weird funky flavor to them.
06:27See, Dave does too.
06:28I love those too.
06:29No, like, okay.
06:30I mean, I like them.
06:31Listen, Lisa shaped my life in a different way.
06:34Oh, no.
06:35When she told me.
06:36She's putting it back on Lisa.
06:37No, no.
06:38That's all she said is.
06:39She got to live in the snob life.
06:41Listen, she said to me, like, never sell.
06:44Like, if you want a cinnamon bun, go get the real ass.
06:47This is when we were trying to lose weight and Lisa's like, you guys are fools.
06:52But that's how I kind of live my life.
06:54Like, okay, so I'm not going to waste it on that cinnamon bun.
06:56Right.
06:57That makes sense.
06:58I'll get a Cinnabon.
06:59I'm not eating a diet Cinnabon.
07:01Right.
07:02It's what you really like.
07:03I'll eat the Pillsbury on my way to the Cinnabon.
07:06Yeah.
07:08I'm just saying.
07:09I don't think they're that bad.
07:10I think it does help when you nuke them for 10 seconds like Jason does.
07:14Brings them back to life a bit.
07:16I mean, I would prefer a fancy one, too.
07:19Don't get me wrong.
07:20Yes.
07:21We don't have fancy here.
07:23But when I just got to break the tube, sometimes you just got to break the tube.
07:27Yeah.
07:28Right.
07:29I can't always go fly to St. Martin and go to the croissanterie and get like the.
07:34Exactly.
07:35The croissanterie at St. Martin.
07:39The chocolate croissants you talk about, like I have one that I had there that if I could
07:43have, like that's what I want.
07:44Yeah.
07:45But I just can't have that all the time.
07:46Right.
07:47Right.
07:48The Trader Joe's doesn't equal.
07:50I haven't had those.
07:51Well try it.
07:52That's delicious.
07:53Well buy it.
07:54That is your St. Martin croissanterie.
07:55Okay.
07:56They're delicious.
07:57I'll go.
07:58All right.
07:59I'll try it.
08:00Yes.
08:01Buy the frozen ones.
08:02You got to leave them out overnight.
08:03I got to get online.
08:04Okay.
08:05I never tried to.
08:06You do that this weekend.
08:07I shouldn't do that though.
08:08I can't.
08:09What are you talking about?
08:10He's going to post about us being snobs.
08:13Yeah.
08:14I can't take it anymore.
08:15Well I'm blaming you too.
08:16Whatever.
08:17I'm going to blame you too.
08:18I don't care.
08:19I like what I like.
08:20She thinks she's better than us.
08:21Yeah.
08:22Oh my God.
08:23St. Martin they were talking about today.
08:24Where's that?
08:25The croissanterie.
08:28Yeah.
08:29St. Martin.
08:30I couldn't even understand them.
08:31Oh man.
08:32They don't like it here.
08:33They can leave.
08:34All the sailboats.
08:35Take me there right now.
08:36Oh that's so nice.
08:37All the sailboats.
08:38Yeah dude.
08:39The marina.
08:40Oh.
08:41Oh.
08:42Oh.
08:43Oh.
08:44See.
08:45I'm fancier than you think.
08:46Yeah you are.
08:47You're like secret fancy.
08:48He's a Michigan man.
08:49He's a Michigan man.
08:50I'm just a blend.
08:51You can't get that out of them.
08:52You're a blend.
08:53You can't get that out of you.
08:54You get fancy.
08:55You get a mascot on.
08:56You get a mascot on.
08:57He loves a pair of khaki pants.
08:58Oh I do.
08:59Yeah.
09:00I told you.
09:01But I'm in track pants.
09:02You never know.
09:03I know.
09:04I'm an enigma.
09:05You can't tell.
09:06Sure you're an enigma.
09:09I just need a honey bun.
09:10That's all I need.
09:11Yeah.
09:12Court do you like honey buns?
09:13No.
09:14No.
09:15I oddly side with Dave on this.
09:16Oh yeah.
09:17Wow.
09:18Oh yeah.
09:19Look at that.
09:20Look who's coming over.
09:21You couldn't tell.
09:22Look who likes court all of a sudden.
09:25Yeah.
09:26We know he's fancy right?
09:27I was going to say he's got silk pajamas.
09:29You guys didn't think he'd hate these things.
09:31Of course he would.
09:32But he's a blend too fancy.
09:33To be fair it's more because I'm scared to pop the homemade thing.
09:37Pillsbury.
09:38Oh yeah.
09:39That gets you too jumpy.
09:40Are you afraid of the pop?
09:41Yeah I don't like the pop so I have to go to a patisserie and get my french pastries.
09:46Happy International Fairy Day.
09:49Yeah.
09:50You still want him on your team?
09:51Yeah.
09:52He's on your team.
09:53You guys can have him.
09:54I'll take out.
09:55The pop of the can frightens you?
09:57Do you scream when the pop happens?
09:58You never know what's going to happen.
10:00You don't know when it's going to pop.
10:01That's for sure.
10:02Honey buns make him think of bees because of honey.
10:04Uh huh.
10:05Oh my gosh.
10:06Yeah I can't support the bees.
10:07No.
10:08He hates a bee.
10:09Huh?
10:10Yeah.
10:11It's tough.
10:12He's fanning himself in there after opening some pastry.
10:16Oh yeah.
10:17I know how to scare court.
10:18I'm going to bring in some cinnamon rolls.
10:20Pop.
10:21Pop these for me.
10:22No.
10:23Hey let's celebrate with some champagne.
10:25No.
10:26Oh you can't do champagne either.
10:27Oh no.
10:28Anything that pops.
10:29He hates balloons.
10:30You can do it without the pop.
10:31Oh yeah.
10:32A nice twist off champagne.
10:33Twist off.
10:34Oh there's nothing as tasty as twist off champagne.
10:37No I'm not that fancy.
10:38I hate champagne.
10:39Like I've never found a champagne that I like.
10:41Oh I know.
10:42I don't know.
10:43You know how you get it if they hand a glass.
10:44You're walking into a wedding or something.
10:46Yeah.
10:47I mean I would just.
10:49Would just pound it down.
10:51Just to.
10:52Be like alright.
10:53Let's.
10:54Something free.
10:56No.
10:57No.
10:58No.
10:59No.
11:00No.
11:01No.
11:02No.
11:03No.
11:04No.
11:05No.
11:06No.
11:07No.
11:08No.
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