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  • 6/16/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who crashed is car after finding a cicada in it while driving. Then, hear from people, like Jason and Cort, who should have their man cards revoked due to how they handle bugs.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from 5-Hour Energy?
00:02Oh yeah, I had mine this morning. Now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:05My superpowers.
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light. It's not radioactive.
00:11I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:19Okay, you know, we talked earlier about the fear that Jason and Cord have of bees.
00:23You guys, honestly though, if you were driving,
00:27oh, and a bee flew in your car,
00:29what's happened?
00:31Could you keep it together?
00:32Yeah.
00:33No.
00:35Yes from Jason, no from Cord.
00:37I pulled over and got out and opened the doors and the bee flew out.
00:41So then this could handle.
00:42Situation can handle.
00:43Yeah, that's good.
00:44I would tuck and roll.
00:46You'd be like this driver.
00:47Oh no, that would be Cord.
00:48That would be Cord.
00:49No.
00:50On his side in the middle of the road.
00:53That's hilarious.
00:54I have insurance.
00:56That's what it's for, right?
00:59An Ohio driver bugged out behind the wheel when a rogue cicada flew into his SUV,
01:07causing him to lose control and flip the vehicle as he frantically tried to swat away the winged
01:19intruder.
01:20Oh my God.
01:20As a 37 year old guy, how do you ever, ever live this down?
01:25That might get me more than a bee.
01:27The cicada?
01:28They're huge.
01:29I know, but you know what they are.
01:31They land on you all the time.
01:33I've had like three land on me.
01:34I don't know.
01:35All right.
01:36Let's put this out here for a minute.
01:37Guys, has a bug caused you to lose your man card?
01:40I think flipping your car because there's a cicada in it, you lose your man card.
01:46That's real bad.
01:47That's horrible.
01:48That's real bad.
01:48He's lucky he didn't die.
01:50There's no real good place to pull over there, I guess.
01:53There's no stoplights in that city.
01:57That's that place.
01:58Did you pull into that parking lot that's right there?
02:00I mean, I guess, yeah.
02:01But I mean, he...
02:02He panicked.
02:03He just panicked.
02:04You know, his airbags and everything are off.
02:07It's horrible because of the bug.
02:08The card is on its side.
02:10Did a bug cause you to lose your man card?
02:131-855-954-6969 is the number.
02:16Call us with your story.
02:171-855-954-6969 on the Dave and Chuck lines.
02:21Or text 46969.
02:23How many more bug-related things does Jason have to do before he gets his man card back?
02:32Right.
02:33I think I've lost mine on two instances here.
02:35Yeah.
02:36From spiders.
02:37Oh, spiders.
02:37That's right.
02:37One when Dave had to come in and kill the spider for me.
02:40Yeah.
02:40We have it on video.
02:42Yeah.
02:42Live on air.
02:43Yeah.
02:43Yeah.
02:44I became his dad that day.
02:44Took the man card that I maybe never had to begin with.
02:46Yeah.
02:47But then the other big one.
02:49Yeah.
02:49And Chuck saw me struggling to pick it up, like in real fear.
02:55And I was like, please don't record me.
02:57And he was like, I would never.
02:58Cause this is like actually sad to see you.
03:00Wow.
03:01It wasn't funny?
03:02Oh my God.
03:03I think he was like really like, I'm going to protect you.
03:05He records everything.
03:06Yeah.
03:06Like when you.
03:07We've never talked about it.
03:08When he was like trying.
03:10You've never heard that have you?
03:11No.
03:12No.
03:12Yeah.
03:13When you've seen a man.
03:15What happened?
03:15There was a gigantic wolf spider.
03:19Yeah.
03:19It was crawling around.
03:20I can't.
03:21Where?
03:22It was like a.
03:25It was big.
03:26Like a silver dollar.
03:27Bigger than that.
03:28It was like the size of a bagel.
03:31Oh, stop it.
03:32Yeah, dude.
03:33Yeah, dude.
03:33Yeah, dude.
03:33Whatever.
03:33There was a bagel size.
03:34I just saw your face.
03:36Liar.
03:37It was this big.
03:38Stupid bitch.
03:38It was this big.
03:39Yeah.
03:40I'm telling you.
03:42I'm telling you.
03:42And where was it?
03:44It was crawling around in his little floor.
03:47His area.
03:47General area on the floor.
03:49Mm-mm.
03:50Um, and I witnessed a man lose his everything.
03:55Um.
03:56His everything?
03:57Like, and it's almost like if you were going to record it and then you're like, hmm.
04:02What do you mean?
04:02No, I'm, what.
04:04He was so frightened and terrified in fear that I knew if I recorded that and put it out
04:12there, the only thing that is, is mean.
04:15It's as mean.
04:16Well, it was nice of you not to hear that.
04:17But here's the crazy thing, that he feels something for you.
04:21Because if that was me, he would have recorded that and put it out in a heartbeat.
04:24And talk about it every time and time.
04:25Dave, can I tell you right now?
04:26No.
04:27There's nothing that you could encounter, even a bird, that would have made you react like
04:36he reacted?
04:36This.
04:37Really?
04:38Was that bad?
04:39This hollow.
04:39The address?
04:40Hollow?
04:41Couldn't you just walk?
04:43Oh, man.
04:44Seen that movie.
04:45It was the adrenaline from battling the thing and then killing it.
04:50Oh, you battled and killed it.
04:52Yes.
04:52I killed it in here.
04:53But it was going to pick it up.
04:55Well, that's not bad.
04:55But it was dead.
04:56It was dead.
04:57So picking up the dead spider handle.
05:00I had a bunch of paper towels.
05:02Oh, wait.
05:02No paper towels.
05:03I had a big thing to scoop it, but I couldn't get close enough.
05:07He couldn't.
05:07I did it.
05:08I eventually did it.
05:09He just happened to walk by and I was like.
05:10Okay.
05:11Well, you killed it.
05:12Hollow man.
05:12It was the adrenaline.
05:13He just called me hollow.
05:15You know it's bad.
05:16He was spent.
05:16He was completely spent.
05:18There was nothing left.
05:19Because of the battle.
05:20Because of the battle.
05:22I think because of him witnessing it crawling.
05:24And then for what seemingly was weeks, I could just go.
05:28I just walk and go.
05:29And he would instantly think.
05:32That's horrible.
05:32He sent me spider videos.
05:36Yeah.
05:36Like almost every six hours.
05:38Okay.
05:39So we did torment you.
05:40And then he showed me.
05:41He's like, look, I could get them on Amazon.
05:43No, not just.
05:44We might have to keep this in the studio.
05:45He's not that nice.
05:47He's a dastard.
05:48Right.
05:48I just have to say.
05:49I showed him all of the different eBay specials they have on different spiders.
05:53You can buy.
05:56Frightenings.
05:56Live spiders?
05:57Yes.
05:58Live frightening spiders on eBay right now.
06:02So, yes.
06:03I lost my name.
06:04And he begged me.
06:05He was like, please don't.
06:06Please do not.
06:07Please.
06:08He begged me.
06:09It was like too real.
06:10It was like real.
06:11You know.
06:11You could have just walked out of the room.
06:13But you didn't do that.
06:13You battled that thing.
06:15Well, I had to kill it.
06:15I can't let it live in here.
06:17It was going.
06:17I had to kill it.
06:18You wouldn't have been able to continue working here.
06:19But you didn't ask Dave to do it.
06:20Well, everyone was gone.
06:22I was alone.
06:23Oh, so you had no choice.
06:24I had to.
06:25Yeah.
06:25So how many do I need?
06:27I've killed a bunch in my house.
06:28And I killed one here right on the desk.
06:31Yeah.
06:32Bare hands.
06:32I don't think you were able to do it.
06:34And he had about a dozen more.
06:35A dozen more?
06:36All right.
06:36I got a chart right here.
06:37Jason gets his man card back when.
06:39After a dozen dead.
06:40That's it.
06:40I mean, I do think he is working towards it.
06:43He's really manned up.
06:45You know, when it comes to trying to.
06:47I think he has.
06:48I'm filled.
06:49I'm not so hollow anymore.
06:51Exactly.
06:52Well, that was rock bottom.
06:53Yes.
06:54No, that is.
06:54That was rock bottom.
06:55I mean, kudos to you.
06:56Because I'm amazed you didn't put it out.
06:58All signs point to you always putting crap like that out.
07:01And you actually held it in for this long.
07:03Like we, this is the first time we've ever heard this.
07:05Have you ever like surprised someone like in a joking manner and them look at you and
07:12just say, don't.
07:14That happened.
07:17That really happened.
07:18That really.
07:19Don't.
07:20Because I would just say.
07:22Right.
07:22Oh, God.
07:23Look at.
07:23And he.
07:24He would.
07:25No.
07:26Freak out.
07:27And he literally looked me in the eyes as serious as you can.
07:30And begged.
07:33Don't.
07:34Don't.
07:35Please.
07:36Oh, my God.
07:36And it stopped.
07:37I mean, I stopped.
07:38This guy's funny.
07:39Do you guys see our name and phone number when we text in about this stuff?
07:41No, man.
07:43We don't.
07:44No, we don't.
07:45No.
07:45Zach is with us.
07:46Hey, Zach.
07:48Did you lose your man card because of a bug?
07:51You know, not me personally, but a bug, it's a bug flying into a window situation.
07:55My mom's, or my buddy's mom was driving us, and she started freaking out, swerving all
08:03over the road, yelling, bee, bee, bee, and a bee had flown in between her legs up her
08:10skirt, and my buddy, sitting in the passenger seat, had to reach up his mom's skirt and pull
08:17a bee out from between her legs.
08:18Oh, my God.
08:19I don't ever want to have had to do that.
08:22He, I don't know if he lost his man card, but he might have became the man of the house
08:26that day.
08:26Oh, my God.
08:27Jesus, Lord almighty.
08:28This is taking a turn that is unfortunate.
08:31Guys, I just thought about this.
08:33What if your driver's test had this, wasn't, this was involved in it?
08:41Well, everybody would crash their test driving cars.
08:42This is what I'm saying.
08:43I'm like, no one can do this, right?
08:46Like, if you had a bee fly up the leg of your shorts while driving.
08:49Well, no, I'm not saying that, but even just like add a bee into the car and then see where
08:54people are at.
08:56Because this person who flipped their car, they should never have gotten a license.
09:00If that was how you were going to handle.
09:02Yeah, they couldn't stay composed.
09:04You can't just pull over to the side of the road.
09:07Like, you literally flipped your car over.
09:10A snake would make me probably crash my car.
09:13Or like a snake in the car, like down by the, down by the pedals.
09:18Because how are you supposed to?
09:19Yeah, that would be.
09:21How do you stop your car if there's a snake down by the, by your feet?
09:25I don't know.
09:26Josh is in Lake Oregon.
09:28Josh, what happened?
09:29So my niece and nephew are over.
09:32I'm at my parents' house.
09:34And I go to take a shower.
09:36I took all my clothes off.
09:39So I'm nude.
09:41And I closed the curtain to turn the shower on.
09:44And this giant ass spider falls out.
09:47Yep.
09:48Into the tub.
09:50I swear to God, this thing, like its legs were, you know, a silver dollar.
09:55Yeah.
09:56Big enough for that.
09:58So I tried to flush it down.
10:00And I hit it a couple times.
10:01I think, started trying to crawl out.
10:03But I hit the damn stop on the tub.
10:06So it started filling up the tub.
10:08And the bastard swam.
10:10Oh, yeah.
10:10So I'm naked as hell.
10:11And I screamed for my dad.
10:13I'm like, dad!
10:15Dad!
10:15I did, dude.
10:17Oh, yeah, dude.
10:18I was like, they just went downstairs.
10:22And, you know, my niece and nephew, they saw the whole arachnophobia thing just happen.
10:27And I was like, pops, pops.
10:29And he came out.
10:30And he finally squashed it with a plunger.
10:33Yeah.
10:34Dads.
10:34That was it.
10:35But, dude, I'm nude.
10:36I'm like, dude, if you're arachnophobic and you're nude and you see a spider like that,
10:40like, dude, you're just not a good time.
10:43No, you're doomed.
10:44No.
10:44I mean, your poor dad had to witness that.
10:46That God Jason was closed when I had to kill that spider for him.
10:49That's true.
10:50I was so close to being naked, you have no idea.
10:54You have no idea.
10:54I'll own it, man.
10:57I own it.
10:58Yeah, I know you do.
10:58I don't care.
10:59That's the one thing about you.
11:00Whatever.
11:01Someone said, I had a cousin lose his mind on the freeway because a bee came into his truck.
11:06Rolled his truck.
11:08Got a closed head injury.
11:10It's not worth a closed head injury, Jason.
11:13Think about it.
11:14You're just like, bee.
11:15Sometimes it is bee.
11:16Well, now we know what happened to court.
11:18Now it all makes sense.
11:19I'll let that one slide.
11:26Yeah.
11:27Sometimes you just have to take it.
11:28Sometimes you do.
11:29Yeah.
11:29You know.
11:30Lost a girl to a tarantula.
11:33I was asleep in the nude.
11:35She wakes me up and said, who's your friend?
11:38I thought she was talking about my boner.
11:40Yeah.
11:41I looked down.
11:42There is a tarantula on my crotch.
11:45I screeched, swatted it, and ran.
11:49She picked it up and says, it's just a spider.
11:52Oh, wow.
11:53That's hell.
11:54Get out of here.
11:55I'm not ready for that, girl.
11:56I'm not ready for that.
11:57Get out of here, she said.
11:58Oh.
11:59Turns out it was her pet.
12:01Oh.
12:01Does she put it on there?
12:02She put it on him.
12:03She probably put it there.
12:04Don't do that to me.
12:05It's not the woman for you.
12:06My God.
12:06Don't do that to me.
12:06Dear God.
12:07Well, you'd lose it in your pubes.
12:08You'd never see it again.
12:09I'm like, what friend?
12:12He could eat my thing.
12:16No, let's be real here, though.
12:19We're not from tarantula areas.
12:22No.
12:22I'm not ready to encounter a real tarantula.
12:26A crotch tarantula?
12:27I'm not ready for that.
12:28I don't know who.
12:29I don't know what I would do.
12:30Like, I know, oh, they're not supposed to bite you, and everything's going to be fine.
12:36I'm not ready.
12:37My brain probably couldn't comprehend that.
12:42If there was a tarantula on my crotch.
12:45No, my God, no.
12:46Come on, lady.
12:47You'd look down.
12:48It's bigger than anything you've ever seen.
12:50Like, Jason, think about how big Jason thought that spider was that was like a quarter.
12:54Right, it was a bagel.
12:55He thought it was a bagel.
12:56He thought it was a bagel.
12:57It was a bagel.
12:58It was not.
12:58Yeah.
12:58Whatever.
12:59You know?
12:59I'm trying to think, like, the hottest, like, the hottest chick, but I had to sleep in
13:04the room with a tarantula.
13:06I don't know.
13:07Yeah, I think that would be tough.
13:08I might pass.
13:10Yeah.
13:10Like, I hate to say that.
13:12Like, her pet.
13:14Like, she's going to be putting it on my pubes?
13:17I don't know.
13:17While you're sleeping?
13:19You don't even carry it.
13:20What a twisted.
13:21I'd love to say, like, yes, I'd go through with it.
13:23Chuck, Scarlett Johansson wants to put a tarantula in your pubes.
13:27Put it on there.
13:28Yeah, right?
13:29Come on, Jason.
13:30Come on.
13:31No, I'm saying.
13:32Come on.
13:33I do.
13:33Court, a hot Asian girl wants to put a fee on your pubes.
13:37Yes.
13:37Doesn't even matter what.
13:39Doesn't even matter what.

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