Saving Private Honey Bun

Beasley Digital

A listener shared the stupid way he risked his life for a honey bun in Afghanistan and Andy imagines what it would be like if he was in the same situation.

Transcript

00:00what's the stupidest way you risked your life this guy said almost totaled my car because i

00:15was eating a cheesy gordita crunch while driving no regrets though james yeah i would have no

00:20regrets either there are some risky foods you do put your life on the line when you eat certain

00:28foods while you're driving yeah yeah i can see that there's a worse ways to go i take going out

00:34in a blaze of glory with a cheesy gordita crunch on my lap it's so sad as long as you got some

00:38yeah at least hopefully you at least got halfway through yeah yeah yeah i almost hit another car

00:46when i was trying this was a while ago but trying to put ketchup on a french fry oh while driving

00:50well that's just silly ketchup that's the only way there's ways around all this stuff like i'm

00:56going to individually put ketchup on every single french fry what else are you supposed to do i don't

01:00put it in a fries in your mouth and then you squirt the packet in when you're a porn star it needs to

01:04come in at the same time i like you're a porn star yeah andy's got it down that's how you do it yeah

01:09in afghanistan in the mountains in the middle of a gunfight i lost my honey bun i frantically ran

01:19around trying to find it bullets flying everywhere my honey bun my honey bun you're eating a honey bun

01:24in the middle of uh i need covering fire i need covering fire i dropped my honey bun every once

01:31i get lieutenant bring me get down what are you doing i'm looking for a honey bun sir

01:36i got my sweet delicious honey bun did you hear that boys he lost his honey bun

01:41great man down get down cover me my brothers i got you thank you found it

01:49everything's cool now

01:55great man oh it's a honey bun you don't understand we're in afghanistan you know how hard it is getting a goddamn honey bun

02:02it's impossible where did you get the honey bun it was i don't want to talk about that right now

02:07listen i think i see it no not a honey bun at all

02:11that's a lot of blood and guts there i know there it is got it we're good

02:17we're good i got it oh okay here we go

02:20he's so excited i got it i found it

02:26we're good if you had a honey bun in afghanistan you would risk your life to save it absolutely

02:33it's like having it's like having 10 grand

02:35yeah i think it's like having 10 grand absolutely especially if that's like your thing from home

02:41that's like delicious to you yeah put the honey bun in your mouth and start firing

02:45yeah i'm like you're getting it

02:48someone shoots your honey bun like part of it

02:51you're like oh you

02:52i'll see you off

02:54i just go on a killing spree

02:55yeah exactly

02:56not without my honey bun

02:58that son of a bitch just shot that honey bun

03:00it's a run down the side of a mountain

03:03green meat just secured an entire mountain

03:05it gets a silver star

03:07you get everything

03:08you're like

03:09it was all just because you shot my honey bun

03:12why'd you do that well they shot my honey bun right out of my hand

03:15so i couldn't pick up

03:17it's a silver star

03:19i'll never forget

03:20you would

03:23you'd go to lengths

03:24they make a movie about it

03:25exactly

03:27you're being interviewed about it

03:29i'm like you know

03:30somebody shoots your honey bun you're gonna react

03:32yeah

03:33and i killed 85 terrorists

03:35how did this man take down isis

03:39we'll get to the bottom of that next

03:40they're sweet and sticky

03:42you know i like a honey bun

03:44i could just see it

03:45i'm like going right towards your mouth

03:47and just getting shot out of your hand

03:48you just see red

03:49oh

03:49it's that deafening silence

03:51from like saving private ryan

03:52where it's like

03:52he's like oh my god

03:55he's killing them with his bare hands

03:57he threw his gun down

03:59jake

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