Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about another case of malicious fecal distribution that took place in a Detroit area shoe store and try to figure out why?!
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00:00Have you tried this new Glow Motion flavor from 5 Hour Energy?
00:02Oh yeah, I had mine this morning, now we wait.
00:05For what?
00:05My superpowers!
00:07Dude, it glows under UV light, it's not radioactive!
00:10I was hoping it would make me a little bigger, if you know what I mean.
00:14Jesus.
00:18Uh-oh! It's another case of malicious fecal distribution on Dave and Chuck the Freak!
00:24This dump-and-dash, that's awful, not dine-and-dash, that's an awful term, happened at a shoe store in Detroit.
00:38Wow.
00:40One male employee witnessed the whole thing. Unfortunately, I hope to never see another man poop live.
00:48I hope that as well.
00:51I can't, I've already seen it. It was terrible.
00:56What? Live?
00:56I've already seen it, yep. Yep, Eugene pooped out of a tree one time.
01:00Oh.
01:01Oh my god.
01:01Unbelievable stuff.
01:02Eugene, huh?
01:03Yeah, it was Eugene.
01:06I've never seen anything like it in my life.
01:08For most of the people listening, you've never seen another man poop live.
01:12I hope so too.
01:13Honestly, it's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.
01:15Out of a tree?
01:16Out of a tree.
01:17Clive, did he do that? He was sick or something?
01:19No, we were young.
01:20Eugene was challenged, right?
01:21No.
01:21Oh, I thought he was.
01:23No.
01:23No, I think he's okay.
01:24No, he was on the other side of things.
01:26He was on the other side.
01:26Oh, I'm having him confused with someone else you talk about in some of your stories.
01:30A confused person?
01:31A challenged person that I would hang out with?
01:34I think you referenced too from school.
01:37No, it was, no.
01:38No.
01:38Are you talking about Paul?
01:40He wasn't challenged.
01:41I don't know.
01:42He was just a troublemaker.
01:43I can't keep it up.
01:44Eugene.
01:45It was just people he went to school with.
01:46I think there were people that he was thinking of.
01:50Yes.
01:50Possible.
01:50Maybe.
01:51Possible.
01:52That man just chased people with his poop, I believe.
01:54That's what you're thinking of.
01:55Yeah, that's high school.
01:57That was high school.
01:57I got my poop wires crossed.
01:58Mm-hmm.
01:59Mm-hmm.
01:59But anyway, yeah, so this guy did witness the whole thing live.
02:02Yep.
02:03Another man defecating.
02:06Awful.
02:06Let's get the story of how it all went down now from Fox 2 News.
02:11Take a listen.
02:13Yeah, this guy didn't even buy anything.
02:15He was in and out.
02:16He had one specific goal in mind.
02:19Now the loss prevention guy has put his picture up on the internet trying to find out who he
02:24is because he's got a few questions.
02:27Monday morning at the Foreman Mill store, 8 Mile and Van Dyke.
02:31He came straight in the store, didn't even talk to anybody, went straight to the shoe aisle.
02:35And you'll never believe what he did.
02:37He didn't even try to hide it.
02:38He just pulled down his pants, pooped.
02:41Didn't even wipe and walked straight out and got in the car and left.
02:43Didn't even wipe.
02:44I think that's ridiculous.
02:45I think that's the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life.
02:47Yeah, man.
02:48I mean, I don't know what he was thinking or what he was going through because they have
02:51a bathroom in there.
02:52Alfonso is totally destroyed by it.
02:57And I agree, Alfonso.
02:59They closed it down to the public.
03:01Corporate put out the policy for our store that there's no public bathroom.
03:04But anyone who comes in there and asks, we let them use the bathroom.
03:08But according to store employees, he never asked.
03:11All of it caught on store security video.
03:14He walked in the door at 1013.
03:15He was out the door at 1017.
03:17And he wasn't alone.
03:19The other guy walked into a men's department.
03:22I didn't see anything in the men's department.
03:24But I think that's what it seems like that's what they came there just to do because they
03:28didn't talk to anyone, didn't grab nothing, made a beeline straight for the shoe department,
03:33used the bathroom and just left.
03:34It's all so mind boggling.
03:37We get a lot of wild stuff there, but I didn't.
03:39That's a first there.
03:40When I seen it, I just thought, no way.
03:42That's why I reviewed the camera so quick because I was thinking maybe it's a kid and
03:46an accident happened.
03:47But it was no kid.
03:48The guy that actually used the bathroom in there, he was probably 50s.
03:53He did not use the bathroom, to be clear.
03:55No.
03:56Pulling your pants down in the aisle of a store is not using the bathroom.
03:59He's trying to be polite about it.
04:01I guess.
04:02Unlike you, who said he dumped and dashed.
04:04Yeah.
04:06Well, this guy's got a bit more class than Dave.
04:08Oh, yeah.
04:10Don't you think?
04:11Wow.
04:12This guy's a little bit more classy than Dave.
04:15I would say.
04:15I don't have a barbed wire neck tattoo.
04:17No, you don't.
04:19It's classier, I guess.
04:20Judge a book by its cover, I guess I should not.
04:22And the guy that he was in there with had to be about my age, mid-30s.
04:27They certainly didn't look suspicious.
04:29The guy that he was walking in with and left, he had a nice car.
04:33It looked like a burgundy Cadillac.
04:35The guy had a nice outfit on.
04:38They were nice, clean cut.
04:40I don't know what was going on.
04:42I was trying to find him before he left, just to ask why.
04:46Why?
04:46Why, man?
04:47Why?
04:48Why?
04:49That's my biggest question.
04:50They were going so quick.
04:51It is.
04:52It's the why.
04:53So many questions on this one.
04:57Now, of course, the people at Foreman Mills would like to hear from anybody who knows who this guy is.
05:02If they recognize him from our story, I know that they would love to hear from you because they've got some questions for this guy.
05:09So, when you've had a dump and dash happen to you, as we've had, it sticks with you, you know?
05:20It sticks with you.
05:21You don't realize.
05:22You see, it just popped in your head again.
05:24Yeah, a co-worker crapped herself all the way down.
05:27That wasn't on purpose, though.
05:28Well, it was a dash.
05:30It was a dump and dash.
05:32No choice.
05:33No, I don't think.
05:34I think it was her.
05:35Her choice.
05:35She made the choice the night before when she had chicken wings.
05:37On that weight loss medication.
05:40That's when she made the choice.
05:42You're right.
05:43Okay.
05:43You're right.
05:45That weight loss medication that makes you poop out every bit of oil in your system.
05:49Now, we, truth be told, only saw the stained aftermath of that event.
05:58We did not slip in it.
05:59It wasn't live.
06:01It was not live.
06:02Well, it was live, but we were just around the corner, thank God.
06:05Because she ran out of our office, pooping herself.
06:08Yes.
06:09Because it hit the carpet.
06:10It stained the carpet right where we were sitting.
06:13Yes.
06:13Do we reference this story like once a month?
06:15Yeah, we have to.
06:16It's a devastating, life-altering moment.
06:18This is what I'm talking about, Lise.
06:19It's the trauma of it.
06:21We went through a lot of trauma together.
06:23We had an oily poop dump that we worked with all the way down the aisle into the bathroom,
06:29destroyed the place, and left, and we never saw her after that.
06:32No.
06:33And also, there was a man who slipped in it.
06:37A man slipped in it.
06:39How many times does he bring it up?
06:41All the time.
06:42You know it.
06:42There was a woman who was just, unfortunately, the wrong secretary at the wrong time, who
06:49was forced to clean the bathroom.
06:52Yep.
06:53How many times do they bring it up?
06:56We have been through a lot, huh?
06:57No, we definitely have.
06:58A dump and dash.
06:59No one would believe it.
07:00No one would believe it.
07:01No one would believe the stuff we've been through.
07:03They wouldn't.
07:03They think we're making it up.
07:04That lady pooped herself and left, never to return again.
07:07That was the last time you saw her?
07:08That was the last time we saw her.
07:09Was it the last time?
07:10I thought she came back in.
07:11Did she come back?
07:12I didn't think she did.
07:12Yeah, we just didn't realize it was her for the longest time.
07:16I thought she left.
07:18In my head, she left.
07:19No, she did not.
07:20No.
07:21We just didn't.
07:21Can't come back.
07:22How?
07:22You can't.
07:23Oh, no.
07:24Her poop stained our carpet.
07:26Her poop stained our carpet.
07:28The next day.
07:28Did she not?
07:29It took the color right out of it.
07:30I think so.
07:31I don't know.
07:32I don't think she did.
07:32But that whole thing was all of our fault.
07:34You realize that, right?
07:36Why was it our fault, Lisa?
07:38Why do we take the blame?
07:39She just, it was.
07:41It was all of our fault.
07:42I won't say any more.
07:43I'm just going to leave it alone.
07:44Yeah.
07:45Maybe she shouldn't have been.
07:47There in the first place.
07:51Well, that's what you were going to say, right?
07:52I just finished the sentence.
07:54Oh, yeah.
07:54I just.
07:54Maybe we should have known.
07:56We don't have good judgment.
07:57No, we don't.
07:59I mean, look around.
08:00Yeah.
08:00Look at Jason.
08:01Hey.
08:02Come on.
08:02I mean, you don't.
08:05You don't.
08:07I fell asleep my first shift.
08:10It's not a joke.
08:11Yeah.
08:12I fell asleep.
08:13I know you did.
08:13See if you get any help next time you come in looking.
08:19You can't even get it out.
08:20Something's broken, huh?
08:21Oh, yeah.
08:22Good luck.
08:23I can't log in.
08:24Court's probably asleep right now.
08:25Oh, yeah.
08:26He's sleeping for sure.
08:27Turned his mic on.
08:27We just hear.
08:28Wait, what?
08:30See?
08:31Yeah.
08:32No, yeah.
08:32That was.
08:33That's bad.
08:34But yeah, I don't.
08:34I don't understand why you just go into a.
08:36Like, if you really had to poop, you'd go around the back of the store.
08:39Right.
08:40So he like he was taking vengeance against.
08:42Yeah.
08:42Oh, you had to.
08:43It has to be a message.
08:45Mm hmm.
08:46I mean, I don't know what you were upset about with Foreman Mills.
08:51You know, looks like you can get off brand Crocs at an affordable.
08:56They're called Crix.
08:57Yeah.
08:58At an affordable cost.
09:01I drive by it every once in a while.
09:05They didn't know that it was such a haven for malicious.
09:10You should take a nice big poop in the aisle.
09:14Oh, man.
09:15Like, I think you could really get some people with fake turds.
09:19Now, they're really hypersensitive to it all.
09:22Go in there and just drop a bunch of fake turds all around.
09:24They'd be really upset.
09:25I could have swore that there was a shot of him, like, crouched actually pooping.
09:29They think they took it out.
09:30Yeah, they must have.
09:31Because initially you saw him with his, like, pants down.
09:33Yeah, because they didn't show that at all.
09:35Unless they're about to, but.
09:37No, no.
09:37It's just more back and forth.
09:40But yeah, I don't know what motivates you to do that.
09:42But speaking of seeing someone pooping live, this woman said,
09:45while bass fishing with my boyfriend, he had to go number two so bad, he made me swear
09:49to look away.
09:50The brown trout.
09:51And I did.
09:52Yep.
09:53Although I was still able to hear his innermost demons and they will forever haunt me.
09:59I can't let you hear my demons.
10:03That's why I haven't released that one video that I know would be the ultimate, the best
10:07video I've ever made.
10:09What video did you make?
10:10The Thanksgiving video of mine.
10:12What is the deal with this video?
10:14You made a video of yourself crapping?
10:16It's weird.
10:17Chuck, you got some stuff, man.
10:19It is the best video I've ever made.
10:23Why is it the best video you've ever made?
10:25Because it's the sounds of you blowing up the toilet?
10:27It is.
10:28What is the animal?
10:29My delivery.
10:32I don't get it.
10:33I know you don't.
10:33I really don't.
10:34It's not for you.
10:35Is it like Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber?
10:37Kind of.
10:38But less theatrics and more reality.
10:43I would laugh if I heard it, but knowing that it came from you makes it like I have no
10:47interest in this.
10:48No, I don't ever want to hear any of you.
10:50It's not meant for you guys.
10:52It would make you laugh.
10:53I don't get it.
10:53I know.
10:54I know.
10:54But knowing it was you.
10:55It would not make me laugh.
10:56I'm intrigued to come from you.
10:57I'd be staring lovingly into your eyes when it happened.
11:00Eye contact?
11:01Oh, yeah.
11:01I'm in trouble.
11:02You're looking right into the camera and you're going to blow your ass out?
11:05I sure am.
11:05You are an animal.
11:06And I know it's amazing.
11:08What amazing?
11:09I don't get it.
11:11I know that it would be the most viral thing that I've ever done.
11:14No.
11:14No, it wouldn't.
11:15It would.
11:16It would.
11:17You guys don't know because you haven't seen and you never will.
11:19But I know what it is.
11:21Do you have it saved on your phone?
11:22It's right here.
11:23Yep.
11:24Just search Thanksgiving and it's there because it happened on Thanksgiving.
11:31Larry's with us.
11:32Hi, Larry.
11:33I know.
11:33Hey, guys.
11:34Not proud of you.
11:35You guys made me think of back when I worked at Value World.
11:38I don't know if you ever heard of that.
11:39Like a thrift place.
11:40It's a store in Michigan.
11:41Yeah.
11:41Yeah, it's a thrift place.
11:43They had a store in Hamtramck, Michigan back when I was younger and I used to work there.
11:49And there was an old folks home right behind it.
11:52They would come in there and quite often just poop their pants and there'd be like streaks and everything everywhere.
11:57And I would have to clean it up like every day.
12:00It was it was bad.
12:01There'd be like chunks or liquid.
12:03OK.
12:03All right.
12:04No.
12:04Well, you put them on for the description.
12:07I know.
12:08Jesus.
12:09Just say poop.
12:11That's what we dealt with.
12:13You know, there was chunks and streaks.
12:15Stop it.
12:18Her poop changed the color of our carpet.
12:20It removed the color from our carpeting.
12:23The carpet was a it was like multicolored.
12:25And then the spots became white.
12:28Almost like an off white orange.
12:31Was it replaced or did it just?
12:33No, it's still there.
12:34It's still there.
12:35Guaranteed.
12:35It could take you right back to the scene of the crime.
12:39I should ask.
12:39Oh, that is.
12:40I should ask my buddy to go down there.
12:41That is a million percent guarantee.
12:43Yeah.
12:43They've never changed that carpet.
12:44Yeah.
12:44If I was her, you got to.
12:46You got to try to fix it.
12:48You can't just leave like.
12:49I bet there's no one even down there anymore.
12:51I bet there's no one even down there anymore.
12:53Like eight people work in that building.
12:54Yeah.
12:55No, I don't think so.
12:56Why would you?
12:57It's all just satellite stuff.
12:59Yeah.
12:59You should ask if it's still there.
13:00I should.
13:01I'm going to have to ask my buddy and be like, dude, is the poop carpet still the poop carpet?
13:05It's right at the entrance to the office.
13:07Yeah.
13:07And all the way to her station.
13:09She first started busting ass.
13:10Yep.
13:10Yep.
13:12Terrible.
13:13Someone said, I work at a colonoscopy surgery center and people regularly blow up the bathroom
13:17and get poop on the walls, floor, ceiling.
13:19Well, they're prepping for a colonoscopy, but generally you prep at home.
13:23They've taken the stuff too late, maybe?
13:26That's exactly what they've done.
13:27They've not paid attention to the doctor's orders and they were like, oh, I'll just drink
13:32it before I have to get it done.
13:34Not realizing the cleanse needs to take place.
13:39I was working at the Home Depot in an aisle working and an old man was walking toward
13:44me.
13:45He stopped, dropped his shorts and dropped a deuce right there in the aisle.
13:52You're not ready for it.
13:53I went and told another coworker in the next aisle, hey, super hot chick, next aisle, you
13:58gotta go check it out.
13:59He ran over and threw up.
14:02That's diabolical.
14:03I love it.
14:05That's diabolical.
14:06Super hot chick in the next aisle, man.
14:07Go quick.
14:09Shh.
14:10Hurry.
14:12You're going to miss her.
14:13Run.
14:16Right behind the chips.
14:17That's mean.
14:18Oh, it's awful.
14:19It is mean.
14:22It is mean.
14:23I just don't get the...
14:25I mean, obviously that story has upset you somehow.
14:28You're taking poop vengeance on them.
14:29Yeah.
14:30Yeah, something happened like that.
14:33I guess that's why the why matters so much.
14:36The why does matter, you know?
14:39And I think that that person for that person, the why should matter as well.
14:44Like if he could anonymously get the why out.
14:48Why he pooped in that, you know, and no, he's not going to face any charges.
14:52Like if he reached out.
14:54Yeah.
14:55And told us the why.
14:57What, leave like a little note or something?
14:59Yeah, leave a note.
15:00Leave a note or call into the show and you could be...
15:02That's it.
15:03Voice changing technology if you're the pooper.
15:05There's no way that guy listens.
15:07You don't think so?
15:07I don't think so either.
15:08I don't know.
15:09I'm thinking he's listening to something different.
15:11Yeah.
15:11Possibly.
15:12That's stereotypical.
15:13But we could just maybe find him.
15:14I don't know.
15:15Yeah, it is.
15:16We know his car, right?
15:17Yeah.
15:18Yeah.
15:19Burgundy Cadillac.
15:21Much too cool to listen to us.
15:23Yeah.
15:23If anyone knows him, 1-855-954-6969.
15:27Store pooper.
15:27That's Mason if you can...
15:29Yeah.
15:30Hug you up.
15:31Yeah.
15:31Yeah.