Ass Ripped Off

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an old man who was run over while sunbathing on a beach and try to figure out exactly what happened.

Transcript

00:00it sucks to be old it especially sucks to be this guy after an Indian Shores police officer

00:20drove over an elderly man lying on the beach

00:24definite snaps Vanellas County Sheriff's deputies are now investigating I definitely heard a pop

00:34I was laying here and they had made me into a sand mermaid

00:39and he ran right over me you think he was so pale yes he just became yes that's exactly what I think

00:48he was as white as the white sand the sand's wearing a hat yeah it just looked like a hat

00:55lying there a Hawaiian shirt oh man 66 year old William Cozaris was taken to Bayfront Health

01:04with serious but thankfully non-life-threatening injuries about 6 p.m 27 year old officer

01:12Natasha Heineman was driving her marked police cruiser onto the beach from 193rd Avenue

01:19they let a woman drive

01:21she had started her beach patrol she was driving along the sand when she felt a bump

01:30oh boy that was something

01:32that bump was the left tires of her car driving over the old guy's hips

01:39my hips oh his hips oh my god right over his johnson right yeah right she squished his old

01:46dong and your monster chucked my genitals oh that's one of the worst places for an old man

01:51I would say to get hit right did he break his hips they don't say they say serious but non-life

01:57threatening injuries is all they say listen come on I mean if I threw a baseball at an old man's hips

02:03yeah they just shatter it's like glass so yeah an suv running over them oh it's crazy

02:12he's got to not be laying there all predator style mixing in with the environment I know he's just

02:19enjoying he probably hasn't left the house in weeks he was just lying on the beach I like this idea

02:25soak it up I like this idea every once in a while run someone over on a beach

02:29or the jeep yeah and then you know maybe some people stay away

02:34he's got to be clearly marked you're a person there

02:37you gotta like a bright beach towel or something you need something you can't just go as an old

02:42man a shirtless old man and wearing tan swim trunks or something yeah you'll blend right in you'll

02:47blend right in but it's not his fault really no it's not it's the person that ran him over

02:52sure I don't want to play on the old man dark out or anything no it was 6 p.m jesus so the officer

03:00she gave aid to this old guy who was apparently hollering until paramedics came uh they say speed

03:09or impairment weren't a factor but they are looking into the incident you can't just drive on a beach

03:15though and not think that you're gonna not pay attention and not run someone over but was the

03:21only way I see it happening was the beach closed okay because I was trying to think if like no one

03:27was supposed to be on the beach and she's just like oh I'm just driving making sure no one's on here

03:32and then turns out there's a sandy man that is sandy man yeah you know mixed in with the beach

03:38beautiful flesh tone trunks I think that guys I honestly think he was a pale old man

03:44he was he just blended in did he what if it was a nude beach oh they don't mention that

03:50and then he really blended oh my god yeah you can't be nude oh I hope it wasn't a nude an old man

03:56nude on the beach there's a real chance of it there's a real chance of it ass in the air

03:59yeah I'll say this I would rather be ass in the air when I'm run over than junk up oh yeah oh yeah

04:11you're right yeah I'd rather be that might have been the only thing that saved is junk maybe he was

04:16ass up I'm sunning my buns at six yeah yeah little chance to get sunburn at six yeah they say he was

04:25sunbathing yeah he knew he was sunbathing but I bet he was nude or he had just a man thong

04:32possible man thong enthusiast could be old timers like that yeah sunbathing in a man thong is dangerous

04:38business guys right that's why I like to live on the edge if you know going to the beach a lot

04:43the older you get the less you seem to worry about what people think of you yeah you don't like tan

04:48lines you want it to be as small as a lot of old guys in speedos yeah that's so crazy

04:54oh someone we have an insider tip okay uh actually amazingly no broken bones no internal bleeding but

05:03flesh ripped from muscle ow so a long recovery so it just it grabbed his skin and ripped ripped it

05:10off yeah ripped his ass off you ripped my ass ripped his ass off guys

05:15if it's the front and it was all ripped off my dong off

05:28what I hope that that's not what they mean

05:32obliterated my chances I hope not 66 you still probably need it oh my god down there of course

05:41you do down there a 66 year old guy slaying it in the villages slaying it and if his tan would have

05:49just came in first I know they would have been able to see him yeah he turned white as a ghost in

05:55those times that the beaches were closed yeah he's like one of those fish that like get to the bottom

06:00and they mix in like an octopus yeah oh that's so well we wish him well yes yeah whatever was ripped

06:07if his ass was ripped from him or his dong whatever he's missing now whatever he's missing

06:12whatever is no longer with him we hope they're able to rebuild that old man somehow

06:16yeah

06:17yeah

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