That's How I Effed Up

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share about when they realized they effed up. The stories include a man in Spanks, snorting Viagra, and a lady who pooped on a garbage can lid.

Transcript

00:00when did you say well that's when i effed up that's we want to know on the rip lines 248-544-WRIF

00:17248-544-9743 toll free 1-855-9743-101 or texas 4WRIF 49743 voice changing as we head to anonymous

00:32first anonymous when did you say well that's when i effed up so i'm not a big guy but i've got i've got

00:39a gut and so i was at the department store because i needed a new suit for a wedding and i noticed they

00:45sold spanks for men which is basically just a super tight t-shirt yeah yeah to hold your gut in

00:51yeah and i i came up with the brilliant idea of well i'll try it on to see if it works

00:55and so i took it in the fitting room and that thing was so tight that i could i couldn't get

01:00it down past my nipples and the bad thing is is i couldn't it was locked into position i couldn't

01:06get it down any further i couldn't get it up and it was so tight it had my arms like locked my ears

01:11like straight up no oh my god no

01:14somebody help something's happened so that's when you effed up how what happened

01:22well i i panicked for a little bit and then i lucked out because there was the hook on the side

01:28of the door that you could use to you know hang stuff up on so i had to shimmy my way over there

01:34and kind of get the the the shirt stuck on the hook and then kind of like work my way down until

01:40it finally popped off he could have really done it spit you out yeah you know he took a real risk

01:49too by hooking himself yeah like that could have been the end right like that's where he could have

01:55been on the last day yeah i love that the panic set in yeah it would embarrassing as a dude trying

02:03on spanks in the first place that's got to be a highly embarrassing moment but then to get trapped

02:07in that spank shirt uh anonymous you're on with dave and chuck the freak what happened

02:11my wife was uh ready to crash i knew i had a small window of opportunity to get some loving

02:19and i had a little equipment problem and i remembered a buddy had given me a viagra to try

02:25but i didn't really think i had that much time so i crushed it up and made a couple lines and

02:31snorted it okay i uh it worked but my head swelled up about the size of a balloon for about a week and

02:39a half i'm sorry it gave your like head a boner it uh i couldn't see you're so smart and your head

02:47swelled up like a balloon so big you couldn't see yeah i i knew i screwed up i was like babe i got a

02:55problem i walked in with a massive boner but i could not see my head kind of swelled up i mean

03:04you could obviously see my cheeks my forehead everything so you about a week she said if you're

03:10not better by tomorrow i'm taking these emergency you let it go for a week with a swollen head

03:15oh yeah dude so did you think that snorting it snorting it would just make it

03:25faster i thought it would be quick you know i thought it would go instantly and work very quickly

03:31and it did it did but with a devastating side effect very balloon head did you go about your business

03:42like did you go to work no i couldn't i couldn't see you couldn't see for a week and you waited a

03:49week to go to the hospital i could i mean i could see but it was very blurry i had a headache i couldn't

03:54do anything i couldn't concentrate oh my lord oh lord dude that's crazy holy hell if balloon head

04:05persists for more than a week couldn't take your position anymore i snorted my anger got this balloon

04:09head for a week i can't see a damn thing i got a head boner you don't want a head boner no you don't

04:17so did his eyes just swell shut is that what it sounded like i think what he's it's almost like

04:21big trouble in little china oh like the electricity guy yeah when he decided to blow himself up he gets

04:28mad this one i know i effed up when i was young tomboy playing in the woods with my friends i had to

04:34go to the bathroom and didn't want to go home so i decided i just go in the woods i took a crap on a

04:40garbage can lid you know the old metal ones and found out real quick there was a yellow jacket nest

04:46underneath it oh god needless to say they swarmed out of their nest and stung me all over while my

04:53pants were at my knees i started running down the street toward my house with my pants and my ankles

04:58screaming my friend's dad came out and walked me the rest of the way home i was stung all over my

05:04legs butt and bits oh how embarrassing i can laugh about it now though and that's a lady that's a lady

05:11she was pooping on a garbage can that's what you get ladies that poop on garbage can lids may you be

05:17stung by a million bees you a million bees will sting your bits you dirty garbage can pooping lady

05:27it's very very biblical

05:29you know what happens when you poop on the can

05:36one million

05:39million bees it's friday

05:41bitches

05:42you

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