Female Poop Grunters

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call in and share if they grunt while pooping or if they know someone who is a poop grunter.

Transcript

00:00We'll see you next time.

00:30Female Poop Grunter.

00:31I don't think we'll find one.

00:32Let's take it to the streets.

00:32I think we will find one.

00:33Oh, you do?

00:34You do?

00:34Because it's a show and every time we think.

00:37Listen, by chance, do you admit you're a poop grunter?

00:39You can be anonymous.

00:40248-544-9743.

00:43Female Poop Grunters.

00:45Yeah, both of my kids are poop grunters.

00:48Are they?

00:48Yeah.

00:49Like, I'll be walking, I'll hear like a,

00:52and I'm like, what?

00:53Stella!

00:55Jesus!

00:56Oh, this girl, I won't read her name.

00:58She gave me her name.

00:59She says, I grunt when I'm home alone.

01:02Jesus.

01:04Man, this is all happening at 7.15 in the morning.

01:07These women woke up.

01:08Oh, we've opened up.

01:10We've opened up.

01:11Oh, sorry.

01:12Every line now.

01:14The portal cannot be on shot!

01:16Yeah, voice changing technology here.

01:18Anonymous.

01:19Hello, Anonymous.

01:20How are you?

01:21Hello.

01:21So, we are wondering if there are female poop grunters.

01:26Are you one?

01:28Me and my sister are.

01:30Oh, you're outing yourself and your sister.

01:32God, the voice changing technology really makes it even worse.

01:34Honestly, because you're on voice changing technology,

01:37it is very disturbing to think of you as a grunter.

01:40So, is it a regular thing?

01:43Do you do it when your guy's around?

01:47My guy was a little freaked out when he found out he was kind of knocked on there.

01:52Hey, are you okay in there?

01:55Oh, so you just let loose.

01:56You don't care who's around.

01:58You'll let loose.

01:58Well, after a night of, you know.

02:03Taco Bell and whatnot.

02:05You're a Mexican food.

02:06Yeah, you kind of.

02:07Come on.

02:08You kind of can't really help it.

02:09Yeah.

02:09Yeah, you can help it though.

02:11Lady.

02:11Could you give us just a sample of how it sounds?

02:13Oh, boy.

02:15What a sexy show we have, huh?

02:16Just a sample.

02:17Just a sample.

02:18Okay.

02:22That's not it.

02:23No, that's not it!

02:25Woo!

02:27Woo!

02:28No, that is not the sound you make.

02:33Like you're giving birth?

02:34Oh, yeah.

02:34Like it's a poop baby?

02:35Oh, my God.

02:38Oh, my Lord.

02:40Oh, my.

02:40Two of them, too.

02:41It's her and her sister.

02:42What?

02:44What is coming out of you, lady?

02:46Well, you know.

02:47We know.

02:48You need to lay off the Mexican food.

02:49Yeah, exactly.

02:51Less cheese.

02:52In a more reputable place.

02:53Yeah.

02:53All right.

02:54Oh, man.

02:54Poop Grunter, thanks for calling in.

02:57Her and her sister.

02:58That isn't even a grunt.

03:00That was like a shriek.

03:01Yeah.

03:01Oh, my God.

03:02Woo!

03:04Chance from Roseville.

03:05Can you deal with one?

03:07Actually, I deal with one that does that and does poop talking.

03:11What do you mean?

03:12Get out of there!

03:15You can do it!

03:16You can do it, you know, SOB and the GD and all that stuff.

03:19I was like, she swears, like, son of a bitch!

03:21God damn it!

03:23Holy hell!

03:25That's what she does?

03:26I actually have to go to the bathroom and make sure she's okay.

03:28No way!

03:29No.

03:30Whatever!

03:32Oh, boy.

03:33She does the grunting and the talking.

03:35God damn it!

03:36Well, to be honest...

03:37Oh, whatever!

03:38No, but to be honest, if I heard some...

03:41Like, if I heard...

03:42What's worse to you?

03:43A poop grunter?

03:44Or that god damn it, son of a bitch, a poop swearing?

03:48Swearer.

03:50Oh, man.

03:51What do you...

03:52What would you find more disturbing?

03:53A poop grunter is more disturbing, but a poop screamer, just screaming is funny.

03:59So, if you are hearing a woman screaming, like, Jesus Christ and GD and everything while she's pooping, that's hilarious.

04:10It's a real close call, but I'd have to go with the screamer.

04:14It's fun.

04:15I thought most women are, like, super quiet about, like...

04:18As they should be.

04:18It's like, you don't want anyone to know.

04:21That's like the rules you guys get at the beginning of being a girl, right?

04:24Like, there's a paper they give you.

04:26Yeah.

04:26You tiptoe in.

04:28You tiptoe!

04:30Nobody knows.

04:30You're very, very quiet.

04:35There's no one around.

04:37Can you just picture Lisa?

04:40Yeah, yeah.

04:41Lisa rappels into the bathroom, like, Mission Impossible, so...

04:43She poops like a cat.

04:47Moves like a cat and poops.

04:50Buries it, covers it up.

04:53And gets out of there.

04:55You never know anything happens.

04:57Right.

04:58She builds, like, a poop bunker.

04:59That's the way it should be.

05:00She only knows it exists.

05:01If somebody ever catches her, she men in black with one of those pens.

05:06Oh, what day is today?

05:07Wednesday?

05:07What day is my name?

05:08Someone said, there is a Filipino pregnant lady I work with, and every time she poops,

05:16she sings A Whole New World.

05:18I can open your eyes.

05:21What?

05:22She said, I wish this was a joke, but I'm 100% serious.

05:26It sounds like a joke.

05:28There is a Filipino pregnant lady at her work that every time she sings, every time she

05:33poops, she has to...

05:35A whole new world, a shining ride to save...

05:39I wish I knew the words.

05:40I don't know.

05:41To tell us all, all where to go, all say we're only doing.

05:48A whole new world, a dazzling praise, I never knew.

05:56But when I walk the floor, it's a crystal clear.

06:00But now I mean a whole new world will.

06:06Yeah.

06:06So every time she poops, she sings that song.

06:09That's scary.

06:11A terrifying song to hear from a star.

06:13Oh my God, yeah.

06:14And you know what she's doing once you hear that.

06:15A whole new world, a shining ride that I've ever seen.

06:25Lung Foon had a big lunch.

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