Poop Anxiety

Beasley Digital

The show talks about the anxieties people feel about pooping in certain situations and learn that Chuck shares a fart silencing technique with a listener.

Transcript

00:00what started with an email from a listener who's been taking emotium for 18 years for poop anxiety

00:09has led to other issues this guy says i poop with my friends i'm a guy we call it the group poop i

00:14can't do no i would never else too dave i'm the total opposite if i'm with friends i'll release

00:18the beast but i wait for strangers to leave every time i don't care about strangers i'm never going

00:23to see them again i don't know who they are i just don't want to poop with chuck yeah i don't i don't

00:27like to even poop in front of strangers i will try and time it yeah yeah but like i poop like a marine

00:33anyway so like once because i can hold it and then it's like i get even five seconds of clearance and

00:41i and i'll i'll take care of it it's incredible to me how efficient you are it's uh like it is like

00:48i'll be i'll have smoked half a cigarette and then you're just coming out to go to the bathroom and

00:53i'm like he's about to deuce and then before the rest of my cigarette's done chuck's already in

00:58here like a goddamn magician yeah i don't linger either i take care of business and i'm done yeah

01:02i don't linger but but i got i got some work to do sometimes man i don't know mine's always at the

01:08ready the gun's loaded chuck is poop efficient uh let's go to uh adam from royal oak hi adam good

01:15morning oh how's she going hey how's she going hey so i have an issue every time i go into quiet

01:24stores not like grocery stores or anything busy anytime i go into a quiet store i just start

01:30farting uncontrollably wow that's terrible that's terrible oh my god so quiet stores make you fart

01:38i don't i i'm still trying to figure it out i don't understand but i'll just i'll just crop

01:46dust the whole store oh my god that is a weird like anxiety quiet store fart syndrome i do hate a

01:53quiet place like i hate any time there's pressure on you to stay quiet yeah i don't like that i don't

01:59like it doesn't make me fart though but when we come in here and there's no commercials playing and

02:03it's real silent like i hate that because i like can hear myself breathe i don't like i need

02:10something on when i sleep because of that like really that stuff causes me anxiety i don't like

02:14being like because i do i feel like i'm like you hear you then my guts will be like making noises

02:24i'm like can we play something can we have some background noise

02:30hey guys oh excuse me yeah yeah yeah it is pretty much sometimes it is like this in here you're

02:41because nobody's talking and we're just sitting in here on our phones yeah i'll like leave just so

02:50you guys don't have to hear me breathe sometimes like for an extra two minutes like how much time

02:54we have yeah i'm like two minutes all right i'm like i don't go out and i'm like

02:57you pass out one day it's happened before there was times where i had to read live spots in here and

03:14i like walked briskly and i'd be reading the spot i'd be like have you come on down the car

03:18brutal yeah it will if i pass out just revive me uh we got an email or let you sleep or like one or

03:28the other james would love to do some cpr so he'll jump in mouth to mouth no problem oh yeah

03:32um i'll save you fuck her up buttercup uh sam now you're a lady yes hello how are you

03:39good how are you guys i'm doing okay what's your comment he's not doing lady named sam

03:43i'm not so much about anxiety but still about farting oh oh yeah i started i started dating a guy

03:51he had his own place he had um you know a bathroom that was close to the bedroom so i woke up with

03:56really bad gas one morning and i'm like what you know what the hell am i gonna do this is terrible

04:00so i grabbed some toilet paper and i muffle oh yeah makeup yeah exactly i do it all the time

04:06i make a silencer you make a silencer i make a silencer i am right i am right with sam did it

04:14work thank you oh it works it became a thing it's a thing now it works like a charm lease

04:19silencer what do you do you build you fold it up a couple times we call it the muffler

04:25the muffler the muffler yeah i gotta go make the muffler yeah i get it i listen i've made the muffler

04:31i've made the muffler in here you know i've made a silencer in here because i was like oh yeah for

04:37sure hundred percent hundred percent like i'm not gonna go a full year without making a making a

04:46silencer no there's no way like there's this is a thing that happens every once in a while you gotta

04:53say say i was at a party with a bunch of people um and sometimes there's people like right outside

04:59and i know i don't have to poop but i definitely have gas and it feels uncomfortable and i'm not

05:06gonna carpet you know i'm not gonna carpet bomb the actual party so i do it in there build a silencer

05:12put it on and you have to do it slow you can't you gotta just take it easy

05:21can't you just like instead of building the silencer can't you just like go into the bathroom

05:26pretend you're peeing this is what i would do i'd pretend i was peeing and then you just kind of

05:32spread your cheek a little extra so that there's no oh i could spread my cheek a little and it

05:37doesn't matter it's still gonna mine's like a pro trumpet player so wait a second andy you spread

05:42your cheeks because the only thing that causes noise in mine is my my jiggly ass cheeks oh so

05:51you know my mine comes right out of my sweet sweet beautiful yeah but if you spread your cheeks

05:55there's less friction for the air to like i understand what you're saying but i'm not going

05:59to take that risk do you spread in silence or you just silence i will tell you this right now i will

06:04i do so your move what you're doing yeah that's i put the muffler as like an added i'm like james

06:12bond i can't take a risk yeah that someone's gonna hear the gunshot can we talk about fart

06:18spreading here i can't believe that you make a a fart muffler oh my god it's the it's the greatest

06:24build it that takes time so now this is more impressive right well let's be honest here it's

06:29just

06:29well yeah because well like you can't like andy's saying

06:42i mean when you when you spread yeah it it opens the flood it depends on how much is in the

06:50chamber right and i'll say this i usually never even decide to go until it's so bad yeah like it

06:56hurts so bad that it's like oh man there's probably like half a can of co2 in there

07:03oh my goodness you guys yeah chuck what a reveal yeah that's your soulmate that lady named sam is

07:11your soulmate she muffles samantha gets it

07:14you

07:22you

07:24you

07:26you

07:28you

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