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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30Then press on, noble crew.
00:50That blockage won't move by itself, and the sewers must flow.
00:53Let nothing impede the waste filtration of this great metropolis.
00:58Her affluence must reach the virgin seas.
01:03I think I see the problem.
01:18No, brave race. There's too many of them. Back to the surface world.
01:28It's happening again, isn't it?
01:32Yes, he's back. And only one man can save us now.
01:39Check.
01:40Chess. The ancient contest of wits. Two opponents, mano a mano, braino a braino.
01:53And look, magnets for ease of travel. Why, you can play chess on the moon.
01:58Uh-oh. Of course, I wouldn't do that. Definitely checkmate. Yeah.
02:03Butt out, stinky.
02:07Check and mate.
02:09Oh, man. Come on. One more game.
02:14But, but, what?
02:16Yeah, I-I-I got whinsies. Whinsies. Uh, yeah.
02:20Excuse me, stinky, but could you be any less articulate?
02:25Yeah, but please don't call me stinky all the time.
02:29Oh, sure, stinky.
02:31Oops.
02:33There I go again.
02:34Maybe it's because... you stink!
02:38No, Fledermaus, that's just the loser in you lashing out.
02:41Hey, shut up!
02:45Excuse us, but we bear grave tidings from below.
02:50Ah, stalwart municipal employees? Not a problem. I'm sure that I can...
02:55Uh-huh.
02:56Mighty sewer urchin, we need your help. He's returned, and his filth walks the sewers once again.
03:06Uh-oh. Bad news. Very bad. Definitely trouble. Yeah, gotta go. Bye.
03:12What? Who? Whose filth is walking? Urchin? Hey, wait up!
03:19Well, it's been a rough day. Tuna milks for everyone!
03:23So, uh, Grace, I like a woman who does dirty work.
03:30Oh, you're so lucky. Say, what's it like to spend time with the sewer urchin?
03:37What? Stinky? He stinks!
03:41Oh, wow.
03:43Now, come on, urchin, what's this all about?
03:46Of course, gotta save the city.
03:48Well, that's our job, too.
03:50Oh, I don't know. Very, very dangerous down there.
03:55We're not afraid to get our hands dirty. How bad can it be?
04:00Okay, just try and keep up.
04:07Of course, this is my apartment.
04:09Whoa. Talk about living high on a low hog.
04:17Urchin, this place is fantastic.
04:20Yeah, be it ever so humble.
04:23Please wipe your feet. Thank you.
04:24First, relax. Make yourselves at home. Enjoy some cocktail-weenies. Just found them this morning.
04:37Uh, no thanks.
04:38No, just eight. I don't think so.
04:40Give it to yourself.
04:41Wow. Did you find all this, too?
04:50Uh-huh.
04:52It's full of money. Urchin, you're rich.
04:57Yeah. Rich in spirit.
05:11Urchin, urchin.
05:17Here. You better put these on.
05:20Aren't you taking this just a little too seriously?
05:24You definitely don't understand, Dick.
05:26What we're up against here isn't just evil.
05:28It's filth.
05:30So, um, exactly who are we dealing with here?
05:35His name is Lou Salazar.
05:37He was the most despicable civil servant in the history of solid waste management. Very bad.
05:41The most corrupt commissioner of sanitation this city's ever had.
05:45Ooh, scary.
05:47Yeah. Now he calls himself Sarver the Sewers. Lou Salazar, Sewers-ar.
05:52Whew. Say that five times fast.
05:54No time, Dick.
05:55Ha-ha!
06:05Hail Sewers-ar, Czar of the Sewers. Bad news!
06:09The dreaded sewer urchin has caught wind of our plot.
06:13Even now he combs the Netherworld in search of your eminence.
06:17I think he's pretty mad at you.
06:19I see.
06:20No matter. Yes, he brought me down once before. My fall from the lofty post of sanitation commissioner was steep and hard.
06:31But by tomorrow morning, every faucet, every shower nozzle, every water bubbler will spool forth my glorious filth.
06:40I will rise again and besmirch the city to its knees.
06:45What are we?
06:46Filth!
06:47Where do we come from?
06:49Filth!
06:50Where are we going?
06:51Filth!
06:52We're Filth!
06:53We're Filth!
06:54We're Filth!
06:55We've come from Filth!
06:56We're going to Filth!
06:57We're Filth!
06:58We're Filth!
06:59We've come from Filth!
07:00We're going to Filth!
07:01We're Filth!
07:12Oh, man.
07:14It smells like sore urchin square down here.
07:17Yes.
07:18But apart from the unholy stench, I think we can certainly function as well in the sewer as we do a...
07:25Tick!
07:26Tick!
07:27Quick!
07:28Get out of there!
07:29Oh, come on, urchin.
07:30It's not that bad.
07:31Hey, just like soda pop!
07:33Tick!
07:34Ah!
07:35Tick!
07:36Ah!
07:37Lobsters!
07:38Lobsters!
07:39Tick!
07:40Don't move!
07:41Ah!
07:42Ah!
07:43Ah!
07:44Ah!
07:45Help!
07:46Ah!
07:47What happened?
07:48What was that?
07:49What was it with the lobsters?
07:50Sewer lobsters, Tick.
07:51I thought there were alligators in the sewer.
07:54I mean, I was ready for alligators.
07:57Ah, no.
07:58That's definitely a myth.
07:59We got lobsters.
08:00You can always chase them off with a little melted butter and some lemon.
08:04We better keep moving.
08:06Sewer Shark probably knows we're here by now.
08:27Oops!
08:28Getting gamma!
08:29The mixture's off.
08:31Needs more activated sludge.
08:34This batch is no better than my earliest experiments in filth.
08:38Back then, I thought stupid filth would cut the mustard.
08:41But the sewer urchin thwarted my invasion.
08:44It showed me the era of my ways.
08:47I realized I needed filth of intelligence to wage my war on the surface world.
08:54I needed smart filth.
09:00Hello.
09:01Who am I?
09:02You're filth.
09:03Got it.
09:04Okay.
09:05We're back in business.
09:06Excellent.
09:07By dawn, I'll have enough smart filth to flood the city.
09:10Hail Sewer Czar.
09:11Sewer Urchin is getting closer and he has two topsiders with him.
09:13Topsiders?
09:14Good.
09:15That'll slow him down.
09:16Now take a detachment of filth and finish off our prickly sewer prints.
09:31Uh, Tick, you know, really, sewer urchin might be right.
09:38We're heroes, sure we are, but maybe we're not so super in the sewer.
09:44We're sworn to protect the city, and we're just gonna have to face it.
09:49That includes the sewers.
09:51Besides, I think we've weathered the worst of it.
09:54Oh, hey, look!
09:55Somebody lost their wallet!
09:57Ah, Tick, move!
09:58Huh?
09:59Wallet angler!
10:00Yeah, wallet angler uses a living wallet for bait.
10:18Very dangerous.
10:20Okay, now listen, guys.
10:25If you want to get out of here in one piece,
10:27stick close to me and do what I do, Tick.
10:30Don't do what you do.
10:32Man, you are so cool down here.
10:38Oh, yeah.
10:39Down here I'm considered the apotheosis of cool.
10:41Did you just say apotheosis?
10:45We're Will!
10:46We're Will!
10:47We're Will!
10:48We come from Will!
10:49We're Will!
10:50We're Will!
10:51We're Will!
10:52We come from Will!
10:53We're Will!
10:54We're Will!
10:55We're Will!
10:56We're Will!
10:57Okay, troops.
10:58This is the big one.
11:00Once the urchin is out of the picture,
11:02we're backing up and overflowing.
11:05Soon the topsider's world will be ours and ours alone.
11:10Uh, excuse me.
11:12Uh, Lou?
11:13Uh, I don't want to step out of line here,
11:16but seriously, have you given this much thought?
11:19Excuse me?
11:21I mean, I think what he means is those people up there
11:24are the primary generators of filth.
11:26Without them, there'd be no us.
11:35It's, uh, pretty much a symbiotic relationship, Lou.
11:38Listen, you jerks!
11:40The entire history of humanity has been one long battle against filth.
11:46I've been there.
11:47Oh, I know!
11:48Oh, clean!
11:49Clean!
11:50We like clean!
11:51Clean it up!
11:52Wipe it off!
11:53Rinse it out!
11:54All they want to do is get rid of us.
11:58So why should we get rid of them?
12:00Uh, you've got a point there, Lou.
12:03We're filth.
12:04We come from filth?
12:06Let's go to filth.
12:08We're filth!
12:09We're filth!
12:10We're filth!
12:11We come from filth!
12:12We're going to filth!
12:13We're filth!
12:14We're filth!
12:15We come from filth!
12:16We're going to filth!
12:17We're filth!
12:18We're filth!
12:19what is it what is it I don't like the smell of this I don't like the smell of
12:33anything down here what is it we're surrounded by filth and they're closing
12:41in here take some soap um tick why are we taking a bath in the sewer you heard the
12:50man just leather up you know I like my life about two hours ago dry a cup of
13:00coffee at the diner few games of chess we're playing a game of chess now Arthur
13:04and it's their move
13:11back to back and keep your socks up okay
13:16um spoon
13:19oh gross
13:38was that it was that the big fight are we done yet now can we go home not yet this is only the
13:52beginning you incompetent goons but they had all this foamy white stuff yeah it was sweet smelling
14:01and fresh rats he's got soap soap huh well we hated it of course you hated it you're filth you come from
14:13filth you're going to filth you know that's just what we were talking about on the way back yeah what
14:18exactly does that mean why do we have to go to filth yeah why couldn't we go to the Bahamas right yeah I mean
14:26see that's what we were thinking you know it's okay to start thinking but you've got to know where to
14:34stop I'll just have to deal with sewer urchin myself
14:38there you are you lavender menace
14:47soapy definitely too soapy and too wet wet
14:54I'll show you the meaning of wet
14:59uh oh
15:11I don't like the smell of this, either.
15:32Methane gas.
15:34Very bad.
15:35Very...
15:36Very flammable!
15:38Gotta go.
15:39Bye.
15:41Look out, look out, look out!
15:47Children of the depths, the sewer urchin is no more.
16:00That's too bad.
16:01He seemed like a nice enough fella.
16:03Filth!
16:04My hour has come around at last.
16:07Now slouch up one to victory.
16:10The city will be mine at last.
16:18You know, I'm not sure I like where this guy is coming from.
16:22Yeah, I'm starting to think that Lou is just out for Lou.
16:25Ah, if it isn't the sewer urchin's little sidekicks.
16:33So nice of you to drop in.
16:35Just in time to see your world destroyed.
16:39Oh, yeah?
16:41Not if we have anything to say about it!
16:43Oh, topsiders.
16:47Arthur, we may be out of our element, but we're not out of our league.
16:51I'm with you, Tick.
16:53Come on, get it in gear.
16:55Let's go!
16:56Step it up!
16:57Spoon!
16:58Spoon!
17:00Sultant of Sludge!
17:08I'm putting an end to your pipe dreams!
17:11You're too late.
17:13My filthy minions are already on their way.
17:15Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
17:19Be-boo, ba-boa.
17:22De-de...
17:23Ah!
17:24Ah!
17:25Your people are doomed.
17:29Ah-ha!
17:30Urchin!
17:32I don't think so.
17:34You!
17:35Urchin!
17:36You're okay!
17:38Ah!
17:43Hey, sorry, man.
17:44You okay?
17:47No!
17:52Don't you stand there, you stupid jerk!
17:55Crash these intruders!
17:58Come on!
17:59What are you waiting for?
18:00Well, it's occurred to us that perhaps sewer-urgent solid waste management philosophy
18:05might be more compatible with our long-term interests than the scheme you've put forward.
18:11Yeah, Lou!
18:12You stink!
18:14They're right, Lou.
18:14It's people like you who give filth a bad name.
18:19Hey, guys.
18:20Nice work.
18:21Hey, Tick!
18:25Arthur!
18:26Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:28Hey, Stinky!
18:30How's it stinking?
18:33Whoa!
18:34You all stink!
18:36Listen to Flater Mouse!
18:38Ow!
18:39We spent all night learning an important lesson.
18:41You can't judge a sewer by its manhole cover.
18:44No, sir.
18:45People can be very different under the surface than they might seem.
18:49Quiet, mild-mannered souls just might turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.
18:54And roaring lions of two-fisted cool just might have some crippling lobster problems.
19:01Listen, man.
19:02It's all crazy down there under the surface.
19:05A lost wallet could bite you in half.
19:08A bar of soap could save your life.
19:10Egad!
19:11A disgusting mound of muck just might have some very compelling ideas.
19:16Do you dig my ditch?
19:21Oh, yeah.
19:23Definitely, yeah.
19:25Hey, Arthur.
19:26Hogarth Lemley writes,
19:28Dear Tick, what would you do if bees took over the world?
19:32Egad, Hogarth.
19:33When the bees implement their worldwide fascist regime,
19:36I will be the first to go down into the honey mines.
19:39I will be the first to carry their squirming larvae in my teeth
19:42to smear royal jelly on their chosen queen.
19:45And why, good heavens, on account of the stinging!
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