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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!
01:00Dumb, Dumb!
01:30Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb...
01:35Well, that's new...
01:43Okay?
01:47You know, I've read about this kind of thing
02:00at the checkout counter.
02:04What the?
02:05Who?
02:09You guys haven't done this much, have you?
02:15What, what, what, what?
02:17What, what, what, what, what, what, what?
02:21Oh, hey, Arthur.
02:23Lookie, I'm being abducted by space aliens.
02:26What?
02:34Who are you?
02:37What are you doing in my apartment?
02:39Hey!
02:40Hey!
02:41Hey!
02:42Hey!
02:43Ah!
02:44Ah!
02:47Ah!
03:00So, abducted by space aliens, huh?
03:03Well, let the probing begin!
03:09What?
03:09What?
03:10What?
03:10What?
03:11What?
03:11What?
03:12What?
03:12What?
03:13What?
03:13What?
03:14What?
03:14Oh, you know, the part where you examine your specimen.
03:22What?
03:22Oh, come on.
03:23Whip out those weird instruments of science and probe away!
03:27What, what, what, what, what, what, what?
03:29What, what?
03:30What, what, what?
03:31What?
03:32What?
03:32What?
03:33What?
03:33What?
03:41My elbow?
03:42You guys don't have a clue, do you?
03:47What, what, what, what?
03:49What, what, what?
03:50What, what, what?
03:51What, what?
03:52What, what?
03:55Tick, we have a confession to make.
03:57Hey, you speak English.
03:59Well, yes.
04:01I'm the mission's interpreter.
04:03Our language consists of only one word.
04:06What?
04:07Exactly.
04:08But I have trained myself to speak all Earth languages,
04:11except, of course, Esperanto.
04:13You could tell that one was going nowhere fast.
04:17Anyway, we're not who you think we are.
04:20We had to disguise ourselves because
04:21we're being followed by intergalactic spies.
04:25In fact, we captured one of them in your apartment.
04:28Oh, cool.
04:30What, what?
04:31What, what, what, what, what?
04:33What, what, what?
04:34What, what?
04:34What?
04:41Oh, you guys are ugly with a capital UG.
04:45Well, Tick, I'd like to be able to say that
04:47on our planet, we're considered quite beautiful.
04:50But frankly...
04:51What?
04:52We're dogs.
04:54Who, who, who are you?
04:56Who, who, what, what do you, what do you want?
04:58What have you done with the Tick?
05:00Hey...
05:12Hey...
05:13What?
05:16Hey...
05:17Hmm, boy, you know, these space cookies are great.
05:21Well, I'm glad you're enjoying them, Tick,
05:23but that's not why we brought you here.
05:25We'd like you to view this holographic presentation
05:27of our apocalyptic dilemma.
05:28Oh, Keen. Dinner and a show.
05:32Did you ever think about the end of the universe?
05:35No? Well, let's give it a thought, shall we?
05:38Here's your favorite sandwich, a BLT.
05:42It's delicious.
05:43And now, it's gone.
05:46Here's your favorite planet, the Earth.
05:49It's where you keep all your stuff.
05:51And now, it's gone.
05:53And here you are.
05:55You're just minding your own business.
05:56And now, you're gone.
06:00Oh, man, that's the pits!
06:05Hey!
06:06What?
06:08Hey!
06:09What?
06:10What?
06:11Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
06:13To understand the end, let's go back to the beginning, the Big Bang.
06:18According to our theory, the Big Bang was the cosmic event in which all space, time, matter, and energy was formed.
06:26It was science, boring, interest, fading.
06:33I don't know what you want from me!
06:44What is that?
06:50Wait, wait, wait!
06:52Now I am speaking to you with my mind, hey scum!
06:59What?
07:00What are you talking about?
07:03Don't play dumb with me!
07:05You are a spy from the Hey Empire!
07:07We know all about your plan to destroy the universe!
07:10The... the universe?
07:12I... I don't wanna destroy anything!
07:15Liar!
07:17Even now your entire population is poised at the black hole at the center of this galaxy,
07:22ready to insert yet another black hole into it!
07:25And then... Kaboom!
07:29Nothing. The big nothing.
07:33That's what the Hays want.
07:35They worship nothing.
07:37Just listen to this Hey propaganda.
07:39Hey!
07:40Hey!
07:41Nothing lasts forever.
07:42Hey!
07:43Nothing is worth fighting for.
07:45Hey!
07:46Yes, we have no bananas.
07:49Wow. These guys look just like my sidekick.
07:53What?
07:54The Hays. They look like Arthur. The guy I live with.
07:58What?
07:59What?
08:00What?
08:01What?
08:02What?
08:03What?
08:04What?
08:05What?
08:06What?
08:07What?
08:08What?
08:09Did I say something wrong?
08:10Oh, nothing.
08:11No problem.
08:12We're...
08:13Hey, enjoy another space cookie.
08:17Well, I can see you have been well trained at keeping secrets.
08:20No matter.
08:21We have other methods.
08:23The thought vacuum will suck every memory out of your head,
08:26leaving you a mindless vegetable.
08:29Ready?
08:30What?
08:31Oh, no.
08:32Oh, please.
08:33I...
08:34I like my mind.
08:35Oww!
08:36Oww!
08:38What?
08:39Oww!
08:40Oww!
08:41Oww!
08:42Oww!
08:43Oww!
08:44Oww!
08:45What...
08:46What!
08:47What!
08:48What!
08:49What!
08:50What, what, what, why!
08:51What?
08:52What!
08:53What!
08:54What!
08:55What!
09:01What's in the for your aside eye?
09:03Chicken?
09:04What was that?
09:06A black hole is the strongest gravitational force in the universe.
09:11Nothing, not even light, can escape its powerful pull.
09:20Hello?
09:21Here's that little friend you were talking about.
09:23Arthur, you got abducted too?
09:26Isn't this great?
09:28Yeah, we're gonna save the universe.
09:30It's gonna be boss.
09:32Arthur, um, on behalf of our captain,
09:35I'd like to apologize for...
09:37for temporarily losing your, um...
09:41luggage.
09:43He'd like to present you with these complimentary slippers,
09:45this pillow, and drink coupons for the duration of the flight.
09:49Oh, Arthur, you lucky dog!
09:51Yeah!
09:53What, what? What, what, what, what?
09:55What, what, what, what?
09:57This is bad.
09:58Our long-range scanners have just detected the Hayes' most devastating weapon.
10:01It's been following us for light years.
10:03We thought we'd lost it, but it's back on our trail.
10:05What is it?
10:06Yeah, what is it?
10:08It's the Infinity Ball.
10:10It's the Infinity Ball.
10:12It's the Infinity Ball.
10:13It's the Infinity Ball.
10:14I don't know.
10:44uh let me get this straight you want us to go into the mouth of a black hole confront the entire
10:52population of hay and steal or destroy their doomsday device right that's the idea tic piece
10:59of cake you know ever since i got my mind back i've been doing some thinking if the haze device
11:06is operational why haven't they destroyed the universe yet well in addition to being dangerously
11:12deranged nihilists the haze are a chatty ceremonies race this is an important event for the haze
11:21their leader has been giving his goodbye to everything speech for 13 years
11:25but our spies inform us that the hay leader is finally reaching the end of his speech
11:37what what what what what what what soon he will detonate the big nothing
11:43that's bad the infinity ball is approaching it's within visual scanner range
11:49hey we've got those on earth we knock them into little pockets with sticks
11:54really you guys are tough uh-huh and we've got higher numbers too
11:59well come on uglies how do we spur this iron space pony on
12:04our race is the most squirrely easily frightened bunch of cowards in the universe
12:14centuries ago we learned to harness our fear and use it as fuel
12:18your ship runs on fear
12:20wiggy well fill her up boys
12:24that's just it tick now that you're around we're not really that scared
12:28we don't have enough fear
12:30oh well here try arthur he's an anxious little dude
12:34tick i don't think this is going to work
12:40i don't like this idea at all
12:43look see he's scared already go man go
12:56what whatever but what what what infinity ball 10 minutes in closing
13:01all right uh killer bees
13:05uh uh girls
13:16okay yeah this'll get you
13:21the end of the universe
13:25sorry i mean it's too big i can't get a grip on it
13:29oh come on arthur the end of everything
13:32no more blts
13:35take it easy man it's just a sandwich
13:58arthur's incredible this is the fastest our ship has ever gone
14:04but it's not quite fast enough
14:11the infinity ball is still gaining on us
14:14infinity ball five minutes in closing
14:30oh come on arthur freak out
14:32the ticket won't work
14:34our fuel tanks are already full of fear
14:36and i've never seen anyone as scared as arthur
14:37besides we're going faster than the speed of light
14:44and the infinity ball is still gaining on us
14:46we're going to have to use untested new technology to achieve
14:57the speed of lint
14:59the speed of
15:00excuse me
15:02lint tick
15:03the fastest thing in the universe
15:04right after you do your laundry
15:06what's the first thing you find in your pockets
15:08uh crayons
15:10change
15:10lip balm
15:12lint
15:12and how does it get there
15:14uh i don't know
15:16it's that fast
15:19prepare to enter lint warp
15:22this is it
15:29i've never seen so much lint in my life
15:42the ship's all can't take any more of this
15:44we've got to drop out of lint warp
15:46what a trip
15:54we lost the infinity ball
16:00on the other hand we found the black hole
16:06and there's the hay mother ship
16:13why aren't they getting sucked into the black hole with the rest of us
16:24they have an anti-gravity force field
16:26lucky ducks
16:28well fire the engines
16:32spur this iron space pony on
16:35we can't lint warp drained our fuel reserves
16:38oh
16:39curveball
16:40hook me up
16:43oh no
17:00the hay leader is only minutes from finishing his speech
17:02he's just acknowledged the decorations committee
17:04and now he's thanking his parents
17:07tick are you suited up
17:09roger
17:10so what do you think arthur
17:13let's just go
17:18well
17:23arthur if we don't make it
17:25it's been really nice knowing you
17:27you too
17:28you too
17:34Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:38What, what?
17:39Hey, hey, hey.
17:41Excuse me.
17:42Hey, excuse me.
17:43Hey, hey.
17:45He, hey, hey, hey.
17:46Hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:49Hey, hey, hey.
17:53One, two, one, two.
17:55Hey, hey, hey!
18:06Oh, man.
18:13Rats!
18:16Huh?
18:18I got to hold myself together.
18:22We must defy laws of physics.
18:27Fight it, Tick! Fight that black hole!
18:34Arthur! I got it!
18:37Yeah, well, that's the good news.
18:41Yeah, it's that kind of day, isn't it?
18:46Okay, come on, pal. Take your best shot.
18:52Hey, hey, hey!
18:57Yeah, uh-huh.
18:59And because I destroyed their most devastating weapon, which turned out to be pretty lame, the entire population began to worship me like unto a god.
19:06Uh-huh.
19:07Uh-huh. Let me get this straight. Last night, you get abducted by aliens. They take you to the center of the galaxy where you get sucked into a black hole.
19:20Right!
19:21Uh-huh. And then you save the universe.
19:23Yup.
19:24And can you prove any of this?
19:26Oh, well, uh, we're all still here, aren't we?
19:29Yeah, so, uh, I guess we owe you one tip.
19:32Yeah.
19:33Yeah.
19:34Thanks.
19:35Anytime, chums.
19:37Any time, chums.
19:39.
19:52.
19:56.
19:58.
20:02.
20:04.
20:05.
20:06.
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