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  • 7/3/2025
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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives, Carlos needed to make a change.
00:05I am miserable at work. I can't do it anymore.
00:09Orson sent the police an anonymous tip.
00:11I got a feeling about this.
00:12Enough of a feeling to go dig up a construction site.
00:16Mike protected Rene.
00:17He is a good man.
00:19But he paid the price.
00:21Every day on Wisteria Lane, women face their share of problems.
00:34Like a paper boy who's off the mark.
00:38An appliance that's out of whack.
00:43Or a report card that's below par.
00:46These everyday problems can seem like matters of life and death.
00:53I've told your paper boy ten times the flowerbed sprinklers go on at 6 a.m. sharp.
01:01I don't know how you can call him a repairman if after he visits the thing is not repaired.
01:08And get this, Carlos.
01:09Her math teacher wrote, the only thing worse than her arithmetic is her attitude.
01:16But then, something truly horrible comes along.
01:23And we rush to hold on to what really matters.
01:30Before it's gone forever.
01:32When a loved one dies, certain decisions have to be made.
01:55A coffin must be selected.
01:57A headstone must be picked.
02:07Clothes must be chosen.
02:11Preparing a body for burial is never an easy thing to do.
02:17But unearthing one can be even harder.
02:21Hey!
02:25I think we got something.
02:36What do you think?
02:38You look handsome.
02:40What's that under your shirt?
02:42My little tribute to Mike.
02:46He would have loved that.
02:48He was always trying to get me to go to Indianapolis for a game.
02:54When I was too busy being a big executive.
02:57Helping rich people get richer.
03:00That'd be a great eulogy someday, huh?
03:08This is about you wanting to quit your job again so you can be an underpaid counselor?
03:11I'm never going to be able to get you to understand this, am I?
03:14What a difference it would make in my life if I felt like I was helping people.
03:16You're right.
03:17I'm never going to understand it.
03:18And I also don't understand why we have to talk about this today.
03:21Because my best friend is dead.
03:23And he died trying to help people.
03:24So if you ask me, it kind of seems like the perfect day to talk about it.
03:32This one?
03:35Sure.
03:35Uh, shoes?
03:40You pick.
03:41Hi, Reverend.
03:47Hello, Julie.
03:51Susan.
03:54I, uh, wanted to show you a rough draft of Mike's funeral service.
03:59It's what we discussed, the standard Episcopalian ceremony.
04:02I'm sure it'll be fine.
04:03I just wanted to see if you'd like to add anything to make it a little more personal.
04:16Readings, for example.
04:17Did he have any favorite poems?
04:19Any favorite writers?
04:23Mike really wasn't much of a reader.
04:27That's fine.
04:28Were you planning on saying something during the service?
04:34Like what?
04:35I wish someone hadn't murdered my husband.
04:39Mom.
04:42Just right now.
04:43I know.
04:44I'm sorry.
04:46I just, uh...
04:47I don't know what I would say that would be enough.
04:51I don't know how to tell people what kind of man Mike was and what kind of father and husband and friend he was.
05:03I just never thought I would have to sum up his life before he was done living.
05:16It's going to be okay.
05:18Okay.
05:21Please, Reverend, if there's one thing that I know for sure at this moment is that nothing is ever going to be okay again.
05:46Hey.
05:47Hey.
05:47Oh, Susan, hold on.
05:53She'll be really glad you came.
05:55I caught the first light after you called me.
05:56I'm just, uh...
05:58I'm just telling Chuck.
05:59You know what I keep thinking about all morning?
06:03Do you remember that time you, me, Mike, and Susan rented those cabins by the lake?
06:09Oh, no.
06:09The pontoon boat?
06:10Yeah, the pontoon boat with the broken gas tank.
06:12And I kept telling everybody, don't worry.
06:14They'll come looking for us.
06:15And then the sun started to go down.
06:16Who knew Mike was such a great swimmer?
06:18I know.
06:18It was half a mile to the shore, at least in cold water.
06:21He was an amazing guy.
06:23I just can't believe I'm never going to see him walk out of that house again.
06:39I'm sorry.
06:41I've been doing a really good job keeping it together until now.
06:45I'm so sorry, Lynette.
06:48You really seem like a good guy.
06:50Yeah.
06:51He was a great guy.
06:54We should probably get going.
06:58Hey.
06:59You want to ride with us to the church?
07:01No, I still have to get ready.
07:09So you guys go ahead.
07:13Hey, Brie.
07:15Oh, please tell me you're not wearing that to the funeral.
07:18Uh, actually, that's why I was coming over.
07:20I'm not going to the funeral.
07:21So could you please tell Susan how sorry I am?
07:24You have to be there.
07:25The whole neighborhood is going.
07:26Uh, yeah.
07:27And they'll all be thinking,
07:29there's the woman that Mike was protecting when he beat up that lone shark.
07:32She's the reason he's dead.
07:33Renee.
07:34Mike stuck his neck out for me.
07:36And now Susan's a widow.
07:37And a nine-year-old kid has to grow up without a father.
07:40Look, I know you feel awful about what happened,
07:42but today is about honoring Mike.
07:44You do not get to make this about your guilt.
07:49Why are you looking at me like that?
07:51Because you're right.
07:53And it's annoying.
07:55Come on.
07:56Don't get change, and I will save you a seat.
07:59Ugh, I really hate today.
08:00Ugh, me too.
08:04Mrs. Vandekamp?
08:05Can I help you?
08:06I'm Detective Areda.
08:08Favorite PD.
08:09Oh, uh, if this is about Mike Delfino's murder,
08:12I'd be happy to help,
08:13but as you can see, I'm on my way to his funeral.
08:16Actually, we already made an arrest in that case.
08:19Thank God.
08:20I'm here on an unrelated matter.
08:21It's a missing persons investigation.
08:24Oh?
08:25Yeah, I'd like you to come down and answer some questions.
08:26Now?
08:29Please.
08:36As she arrived at Mike Delfino's funeral,
08:43Gabby considered what her friend Susan must be going through.
08:46After all, Mike was the love of Susan's life.
08:52And that got Gabby thinking about the love of hers.
08:56So, what do you think?
09:06A lot of things.
09:08Most of them obscene.
09:10I like it, too.
09:12It's royal wedding with just a hint of slut.
09:15So, how much?
09:17Who cares?
09:17Bruce, you get what you pay for,
09:19and you are getting this.
09:24$12,000, Dios mío.
09:27We didn't even pay this much for our first house.
09:30Yeah, well, how much can mud and straw cost?
09:32Ladies, we are having a nice time.
09:35Let's try and keep it that way.
09:38Now, be honest, Mama.
09:39Don't you like the dress?
09:42Does it only come in white?
09:45I'm just saying.
09:47She's not fooling anybody.
09:49Well, I think she looks beautiful.
09:52We'll take it.
09:53No.
09:54I will not let you spend money like that.
09:57Could you give us a moment?
10:05What are you doing?
10:06She loves the dress, and you keep insulting it.
10:09You just don't get it, do you, Carlos?
10:11This is only the beginning.
10:13You give in to her with this dress,
10:15she'll bleed you dry.
10:17Trust me, that woman is a coal digger.
10:20Hit her, Carlos, hit her.
10:22Mama.
10:23You know I love you.
10:25But if you say one more critical thing about Gabby,
10:29don't bother coming to our wedding.
10:32Understood?
10:36Well, I guess you made your choice.
10:38I just hope she realizes how lucky she is.
10:41No.
10:42I am the lucky one.
10:44I've never met anyone like her.
10:47And when she smiles at me,
10:48you can't put a price on it.
10:50So, I don't care if I have to work
10:5220 hours a day to keep her happy.
10:55I'll do it.
11:00Oh, sweetie.
11:01You know what would really make this dress pop?
11:05Oh.
11:06No, I shouldn't.
11:07Tell me, what?
11:09Well, it's probably too much,
11:11but a pair of diamond earrings?
11:14Then our next stop is a jewelry store.
11:15Hey, what are those stains on the living room rug?
11:27The green is Juanita's puke,
11:28the yellow is Celia's puke,
11:30and the red is my Merlot.
11:31Since when are you drinking wine
11:32in the middle of the afternoon?
11:33Since the girl started puking
11:34in the middle of the afternoon.
11:35Your soup is coming, Juanita!
11:41Yes, Celia, yours too!
11:45Here, my shift is over.
11:47No, no, no, no, no.
11:47I can't, Gabby.
11:48Not tonight.
11:48Why not?
11:49I've been with them
11:50since they got the stupid stomach flu.
11:51I haven't slept in four days.
11:53I need a break, Carlos.
11:54Tomorrow morning,
11:55ten clients from Japan are flying in,
11:56and in order for me to win their giant account,
11:59I have to wow them
12:00with a PowerPoint presentation
12:01that I have not even started yet.
12:02All I hear is blah, blah, blah, Japan.
12:04Blah, blah, blah.
12:05I need a massage.
12:07Not again.
12:09Every time a bell rings,
12:10an angel does not get its wings.
12:12A child almost gets hit.
12:15It's just endless.
12:16If something isn't coming out of their mouths,
12:18it's coming out of their butts.
12:19Every opening is on full service.
12:21I can't do this anymore.
12:22I'm starting to lose my mind.
12:23Okay.
12:24Okay.
12:25Go get your massage.
12:26I will take care of them tonight.
12:29What about Japan?
12:31This is more important.
12:33I told you,
12:34I would always take care of you.
12:36Go.
12:38Go get your massage.
12:39Hey, girls!
12:40Daddy's home!
12:41I got your soup!
12:45Surprise taco visit!
12:47Don't get too excited.
12:47That's not a euphemism.
12:48Hey, babe,
12:50I'm kind of in the middle of something.
12:52What are you in the middle of?
12:53Obviously not shaving or putting on deodorant.
12:54You look like a terrorist.
12:55Can you please just come back later?
12:57Okay.
12:59I mean,
12:59it would probably be nice to have lunch together,
13:00but fine.
13:02I'll just leave these for you.
13:05Mike?
13:07Hey, Gabby.
13:07So, Mike gets to come visit,
13:11but not me?
13:11Mike is just being a friend.
13:13He gets what I'm going through.
13:14I did my own little stent in rehab.
13:15I know how hard this can be.
13:18Right.
13:18What do I know?
13:19I'm only his wife.
13:25Gabby.
13:25Gabby, wait.
13:27He's a little on edge right now.
13:28Cut him some slack.
13:29You think I came here to give him a hard time?
13:31I just want to be here for him.
13:33Yeah, but you being here
13:34just reminds him how he's messing everything up.
13:35He feels like he's failing you.
13:37Oh, that's ridiculous.
13:38Why do you think he's pushing you away?
13:40He can't stand you seeing him like this.
13:42And frankly,
13:43I think he's a little scared.
13:45Of what?
13:46He's always provided for you.
13:48And if you think he can't do that anymore,
13:50he's afraid you might leave him.
13:59Mike was a good man.
14:03And so are you.
14:07You should quit your job.
14:09What?
14:09But you said that...
14:10I was wrong.
14:11If being a counselor is going to make you happy,
14:13then that's what you should do.
14:14As Lynette looked at a wedding photo of Susan and Mike,
14:27she thought about the tragic end of their marriage.
14:30And that started her thinking
14:32about the beginning of her own.
14:38Oh, I got this.
14:39No, no, no, no, no.
14:40I got it.
14:41Why?
14:42Because you're the guy?
14:42No, because I asked you out.
14:45It's only fair.
14:46Let me get it.
14:47No.
14:48Next time.
14:49Next time?
14:51You're asking me out on a second date?
14:56Absolutely.
14:57Okay, but you should know
14:58I have a three-date rule
14:59before I even consider sleeping with someone.
15:01For the record,
15:03I wasn't expecting anything.
15:05That said,
15:07if you take me out for coffee now,
15:08I would be willing
15:09to consider that a second date.
15:12And what if after that
15:13I offered you
15:13half the candy bar
15:14I have in my glove compartment?
15:16That count as a third date.
15:19Let's have the coffee first
15:21and see how it goes, shall we?
15:24Let's get out of here.
15:26So, do we need to tell HR about this?
15:31Why would we?
15:32Well, I think they want to know
15:33when employees get in a relationship.
15:35Tom, you don't have to do
15:36the whole relationship thing.
15:38I am not one of those girls
15:39looking for a ring
15:40and kids and a house in the suburbs.
15:43Although I am kind of partial
15:44to way picket fences.
15:45You don't think there's anybody out there
15:47who can make you change your mind?
15:49Not for the next seven years.
15:50I have this whole plan
15:52where I become vice president.
15:54Of the United States.
15:57I meant the company.
15:59But we'll see.
16:04Okay, can I look now?
16:06My back is aching,
16:07my ankles are swollen
16:08and your hands smell like cheese.
16:11Ta-da!
16:13What is this?
16:15It's your dream house.
16:17Someone already bought it.
16:18Yeah, I did.
16:19For you.
16:21Ow.
16:22What the hell's wrong with you?
16:23You don't just buy someone a house.
16:25The exception to the rule
16:26being dream houses.
16:28No, you still should have consulted me.
16:30This is a decision
16:30we're supposed to make together.
16:32Ow.
16:33Oh, crap.
16:34Here, sit down.
16:35Okay.
16:36Sit down.
16:37Okay, here.
16:38Right there.
16:39Right there.
16:40Come on.
16:43Admit it.
16:44This is kind of nice.
16:46Yeah, it's nice,
16:47but
16:47I have certain things
16:50I want in a home.
16:51I know.
16:52Like a treehouse
16:53for the twins to plant.
16:54There's the perfect tree for it.
16:56And an herb garden.
16:57There's a great spot
16:57on the other side of the house.
16:59And, of course,
17:01your white picket fence,
17:02just like you always dreamed about.
17:06Wait, I never said anything
17:08about a white picket fence.
17:09Sure you did on our first date.
17:11You said you were a sucker
17:11for a white picket fence.
17:13There's no way I said that
17:14on our first date.
17:15You did.
17:16I remember.
17:16Because as soon as you said it,
17:18I got this image of us
17:19sitting on our porch
17:19watching our kids play
17:21while we drink lemonade
17:22and look out over
17:23our white picket fence.
17:27Yeah, this does seem
17:28like a nice place.
17:32I'm sorry I did this without you.
17:34But I knew when I saw
17:36this house that you would love it.
17:37because I know you
17:40better than anyone.
17:48Ow.
17:55Here.
17:56These are yours, too.
17:57Ah, thanks.
17:58Do you mind if I take
17:59the portable CD player?
18:01The one I use
18:01while I'm cooking?
18:02How else am I going to
18:03play my CDs?
18:04Yeah.
18:05Sure, take it.
18:06Okay, thanks.
18:07How are you doing?
18:13Great.
18:14It's all the fun
18:15of a garage sale
18:16without making any money
18:17and only getting rid
18:18of stuff you really like.
18:20Why aren't you
18:20fighting harder?
18:21It's just a CD player.
18:24Talking about your marriage.
18:26Lynette, you know me.
18:27I hate talking
18:28about this stuff,
18:29but everybody on the street
18:30knows you and Tom
18:31are supposed to be together.
18:33I don't know.
18:35At this point,
18:35there's so many bad feelings.
18:36I think time apart
18:37will help us.
18:39It won't.
18:43I've been through this.
18:44I know how it goes.
18:45Each of you waiting
18:46for the other one
18:46to admit they were wrong,
18:47begging to be taken back.
18:49The problem is,
18:49the whole time you're waiting,
18:51we're just growing
18:51further apart.
18:53You and Susan
18:53got back together.
18:55And I kick myself
18:55every day
18:56for letting it take so long.
18:57What I'm trying to say is,
18:59somebody's got to make
19:00the first move.
19:02I can't right now.
19:04I'm too angry.
19:05And one day you won't be.
19:07I hope it's not too late
19:08for either one of you.
19:10Don't let it bother you, honey.
19:18What?
19:19Tom showing up
19:20with his girlfriend.
19:22That's fine.
19:23I actually don't think
19:24it's going to last
19:25that much longer.
19:26Yeah?
19:27Have you heard something?
19:29No, I've decided something.
19:30Brie Vandekamp
19:37found herself helpless
19:39in the face
19:40of a powerful man.
19:42And this got her thinking
19:43about the ways
19:44she'd handled
19:45powerful men before
19:46and how she'd learned
19:48to do it.
19:55Brie.
19:56What are you making?
19:58Honey pecan pie.
20:00It's your father's favorite.
20:02Can I help?
20:03Pie's done, but
20:05I can teach you
20:06how to make whipped cream.
20:11Of course, there's so many
20:12things I should probably
20:12teach you first.
20:14Like what?
20:16Like how to be a woman.
20:19That is the most important
20:21lesson I can pass down.
20:23As the cream thickens,
20:25you whip it a little faster,
20:26okay?
20:27Don't I become a woman
20:29just by getting older?
20:30Oh no, Brie.
20:31There's some things
20:32you're too young
20:33to understand,
20:34but I think you're
20:36old enough to learn
20:37about the mask.
20:39The mask?
20:40That's what my mother
20:40called it.
20:41It's the face you wear
20:42when you don't want
20:43people to know
20:44what you're feeling.
20:46All well-brought-up women
20:47conceal their emotions.
20:49It's very useful,
20:50especially when
20:50dealing with men.
20:51Why?
20:52Well, if a man knows
20:55what you're thinking,
20:56it gives him power
20:57over you.
20:58For example,
21:00if a man knows
21:01how much you love him,
21:03he'll take you for granted.
21:04He'll hurt you
21:05carelessly,
21:07cruelly,
21:09constantly.
21:13Does Daddy know
21:14that you love him?
21:14Yes.
21:16I have told him
21:16repeatedly that I
21:17cannot live without him.
21:18If you're so upset
21:21with him,
21:22why are you making
21:22his favorite pie?
21:23Because after all
21:24of these years,
21:25I have forgotten
21:26how to wear my mask.
21:27So now I must do
21:29things to distract
21:30Daddy.
21:31Like his pie.
21:33When I bring it out,
21:35he'll be so excited
21:36he won't notice
21:37the devastation
21:38in my eyes.
21:40Devastation?
21:41It's an emotion.
21:42The kind you might feel
21:43when your friend
21:44calls to say
21:45your husband's
21:45LeSabre was seen
21:46in the parking lot
21:47of a certain motel.
21:49next to his
21:50secretary's Bonneville.
21:54Practice your mask.
21:57Oh no.
21:58Honey, there's too much.
21:59All you need
22:00is the hint
22:01of a smile.
22:03Perfect.
22:04With an expression
22:05like that,
22:06no one will ever
22:07know what you're
22:08really thinking.
22:09And I'll have
22:10power over men?
22:13God, I hope so.
22:14Why are you angry?
22:30Who says I'm angry?
22:32After all these years,
22:34you don't think
22:34I can read you?
22:36Well, if I'm
22:36such an open book,
22:38what am I angry about?
22:39So you admit
22:40you're angry.
22:41I admit
22:41no such thing.
22:47You know,
22:49this thing you're doing?
22:52And what thing
22:53would that be?
22:55You put on
22:56this plastic face
22:57to keep me in the dark
22:58about what you're
22:58really feeling.
22:59And I walk around
23:00on eggshells for days
23:02not knowing
23:02which end is up.
23:03Well, maybe I don't
23:06feel safe
23:06sharing every single
23:08thought and emotion
23:09I have with you.
23:11Well, that's a
23:12horrible thing to say.
23:16Of course you can
23:17feel safe with me.
23:19I'm your husband.
23:21I love you.
23:24Please.
23:24Okay.
23:30After dessert,
23:32you paid a certain
23:33compliment to Gabrielle.
23:37You gotta be kidding.
23:39It was hurtful.
23:44To who?
23:45To me.
23:46You told her
23:47she was the most
23:48gorgeous woman
23:49you had ever met.
23:50She was a model.
23:51I don't care.
23:52You don't say that
23:53with your wife
23:53standing right next
23:54to you.
23:56I'm going to bed.
23:58Now?
24:01You wanted to know
24:02what I was feeling.
24:04I'm feeling
24:04hurt and humiliated.
24:07And I think
24:08you're dumb
24:09to feel those things.
24:14Are you coming to bed?
24:17Or are you just
24:17going to stay down
24:18here and pout?
24:20Actually, I was just
24:21thinking about my mother.
24:23how insightful she was.
24:26Insightful about what?
24:30I'll be right along.
24:31I just want to, uh,
24:34tidy up first.
24:38Okay.
24:40Oh, and Rex?
24:42I'll be serving
24:43Belgian waffles
24:44for breakfast.
24:48Wow.
24:48They're my favorite.
24:57Sorry to keep you waiting.
24:58It's quite all right.
25:01Although I'm still
25:02a little unclear
25:03as to why you
25:03brought me here.
25:05Have you ever met
25:05a man by the name
25:06of Ramon Sanchez?
25:08No, I don't believe
25:09I have.
25:10Why?
25:11Disappeared from his home
25:12a few months ago.
25:13And we just got a tip
25:15that he's dead.
25:18Oh, my.
25:20You say you never
25:21met him?
25:22Ramon Sanchez.
25:23No, that name
25:23doesn't ring a bell.
25:25Well, you see,
25:26because of this tip,
25:27someone out there
25:27is accusing you
25:28of killing Mr. Sanchez.
25:31Oh, good heavens.
25:32That's just silly.
25:33Then as it happens,
25:35Mr. Sanchez
25:36was found
25:38exactly
25:38where the tips
25:40are set he would be.
25:41And was he?
25:42Dead?
25:44Yes, ma'am.
25:46What a shame.
25:47Because you have
25:48been identified
25:49as Mr. Sanchez's killer.
25:50You had no choice
25:51but to bring me in
25:52for questioning.
25:53I understand.
25:54So I have to ask you.
25:57Did you kill him?
26:01Absolutely not.
26:08I must say,
26:09you are hard to read.
26:11What a lovely compliment.
26:12You think that's
26:13a compliment?
26:14I was raised
26:15to be composed
26:16at all times.
26:17This is obviously
26:18a very stressful situation,
26:20finding myself accused
26:21of a horrific crime.
26:23And the fact
26:23that you would think
26:24that I'm comporting myself
26:26with a measure
26:27of grace and dignity,
26:28well, that's a thoughtful
26:29thing to say.
26:30You're very sweet.
26:32Now, do you have
26:33any other questions?
26:34I hate to rush you,
26:35but I'm late
26:36for the funeral
26:37of a very dear friend.
26:38Hmm.
26:39I can't think
26:41of a thing.
26:47Well, it was lovely
26:48meeting you,
26:49and I do hope
26:51you find out
26:51what happened
26:52to Mr. Sanchez.
26:53I'm sure we will.
27:01See?
27:01What did I tell you?
27:03She's something,
27:03all right.
27:05I'm just not sure
27:05what we got
27:06by bringing her down here.
27:07We got her fingerprints.
27:16I am the resurrection
27:17and the life.
27:18As Susan listened
27:19to the kind words
27:20the minister had to say
27:22about Mike,
27:23she found herself
27:24at a loss.
27:26She knew people
27:27wanted to hear from her,
27:28but she had no idea
27:30what she wanted to say.
27:35I can't believe
27:36you're making me do this.
27:37Oh, wait.
27:38I think what you mean
27:39to say is Susan,
27:40sweet, wonderful Susan.
27:43Thank you for marrying me
27:44and allowing you
27:45the honor of carrying
27:46your beautiful behind
27:48inside our house.
27:50You are so drunk right now.
27:51No, I am not.
27:53I'm just,
27:54oh, I've never been
27:55this happy in my life.
27:57I feel like I could float.
27:59I wish you could.
28:00Ah!
28:02Oh.
28:03I'm happy, too.
28:06That's it?
28:07I'm happy?
28:09Well, that covers it.
28:11What do you want from me?
28:13I'm not a big word guy.
28:15Okay, come on,
28:16Mr. Strong and Silent.
28:21What?
28:23Write me a poem.
28:24Oh, leave me alone
28:25with this stuff.
28:26It's my wedding night.
28:27I want a poem.
28:29Come on, let's go.
28:31All I remember
28:32is this thing
28:33from when I was a kid.
28:35I'll take it.
28:36Give me my poem, husband.
28:40I love you once.
28:43I love you twice.
28:44I love you more
28:45than beans and rice.
28:48Oh.
28:49Oh, now that is a poem.
28:52Oh.
28:57It's really smart
28:58you guys are doing this.
28:59When people die
29:00without a will,
29:01it can be a nightmare.
29:04You okay, honey?
29:06Of course I'm okay.
29:07We're about to talk
29:09about us dying
29:10for the next two days.
29:12If it makes you feel any better.
29:13Nobody enjoys this.
29:15I'm shocked to hear that.
29:16You got any cancer pamphlets
29:17in there
29:18in case we finish early.
29:19Susan, come on.
29:20This is important.
29:21We got the baby coming.
29:22We got the house.
29:23I'm not saying
29:23a will isn't important.
29:25I'm saying
29:25it's a beautiful day.
29:27We should take a walk
29:28or something
29:29and deal with this
29:30dying stuff
29:31on a nice,
29:32dreary, rainy day.
29:34Um,
29:35the bathroom's right there, Bob.
29:37I don't need to use
29:38the bathroom.
29:40Or maybe I do.
29:46Okay.
29:47What is it?
29:49We're jinxing us.
29:50By doing this,
29:52we're telling death,
29:53come on in.
29:54No, just when you
29:54don't do this
29:55that it's a jinx.
29:57Look, I'm a plumber
29:58and it's always the people
29:59that don't have
29:59homeowner's insurance
30:00whose toilets explode.
30:01Is it what they eat?
30:04Missing my point.
30:06No, avoiding your point.
30:08Go wash your hands.
30:11Please.
30:12We'll do it Saturday.
30:13I promise.
30:14Look, I know it's tough,
30:16but indulge me, okay?
30:19Because if something happens,
30:21there's nothing more
30:22important to me
30:22than knowing that you
30:23and you
30:24are taken care of.
30:32Bob, come on.
30:33We're not paying you
30:34to go to the bathroom.
30:39Oh, this is what
30:40I'm talking about.
30:40None of that Kobe beef,
30:42arugula, and goat cheese
30:43nonsense.
30:43Give me good old-fashioned
30:44ground beef,
30:45American cheese,
30:46and iceberg lettuce
30:47any day.
30:48Well, I'm glad you're happy,
30:49but I am not sure
30:50that any burger
30:51is worth a half-hour
30:52drive in the car.
30:53That's just because
30:53you haven't taken a bite yet.
30:56Juanita said
30:56Mrs. Vandekamp's boyfriend
30:58got killed by a car.
30:59Yes.
31:02Yes, he did.
31:03Um, and it was an accident.
31:06It was very sad.
31:07But you didn't have to worry.
31:09As long as we remember
31:10to look both ways
31:11before we cross the street,
31:12that'll never happen to us.
31:15Where do we go
31:16when we die?
31:21Well, you know.
31:23We go to heaven.
31:24I know.
31:25But does everyone go?
31:26Everyone you know
31:29will go to heaven.
31:31What about animals?
31:34Animals go to heaven, too.
31:36What about bugs?
31:39Bugs are annoying.
31:41We don't want bugs in heaven.
31:42What about the animals
31:43that eat the bugs?
31:45Won't they starve?
31:47You're right.
31:49There are bugs in heaven.
31:50But if all the people
31:51and all the animals
31:52and all the bugs
31:53that ever live
31:54go to heaven,
31:55isn't it super crowded?
31:57No, sweetie.
31:59Heaven is perfect.
32:00How is it perfect?
32:02I mean, what's it like?
32:04You want to jump in here?
32:07Buddy,
32:08this is heaven.
32:10It is?
32:12Sure.
32:13Sitting with the people
32:14you love more than anything
32:15in the world,
32:16eating a double cheeseburger
32:17and fries,
32:18it's got to be heaven.
32:18You know what else is heaven?
32:21What?
32:22That place we fish.
32:23Near the waterfall?
32:24Yep, heaven.
32:25And we watch football together
32:27and Mom brings us
32:28trays of snacks.
32:29That's heaven, too?
32:30If heaven is supposed
32:30to be the happiest place
32:31you can be,
32:32don't all those places
32:33sound like it to you?
32:40What are hamburgers made of?
32:41Because I know
32:41they're not ham.
32:42Thank you for coming
32:48to help honor
32:49Mike Delfino's life.
32:51The family invites you
32:52to join them
32:53at the cemetery.
32:55I changed my mind.
33:00Hi.
33:02I wasn't planning
33:04to say anything
33:05because
33:05I had absolutely
33:09no idea what to say.
33:10Mike and I never
33:14talked about
33:15what he wanted
33:16for a funeral.
33:19I think it's because
33:20well,
33:23you know, Mike,
33:24he wasn't really
33:26much of a talker.
33:29Some of you,
33:30as you came by
33:31to hug me today,
33:33you said that
33:35he's in a better place.
33:38And you know what?
33:39I realize now
33:42he is.
33:48He is in a diner
33:51eating cheeseburgers
33:55with his family.
33:59And he's fishing
34:01at a waterfall.
34:02And he's watching
34:07football with his son,
34:10yelling like a maniac.
34:13So,
34:14since he has to be
34:17in
34:18all those wonderful places,
34:21I'm going to have to say
34:27goodbye to him
34:27now.
34:36Goodbye, Mike.
34:37I love you once.
34:53I loved you twice.
34:56Oh.
34:57I love you more than me twice.
35:01Amazing grace,
35:12how sweet the sound
35:17that saved a wretch like me.
35:29Now I once was lost,
35:35but now I'm found.
35:40Was blind,
35:44but now I see.
35:49T'was grace that taught
35:58my heart to fear,
36:03and grace my fears relieved.
36:10How precious did
36:17that grace appear,
36:22the hour I first believed.
36:29Through many dangers,
36:38Toils and slaves,
36:43I have already come.
36:53T'is grace that brought
36:59You know what?
37:21Mike was right.
37:22This is the best
37:22freaking burger I've ever
37:23had in my life.
37:24You got that right.
37:25Susan, you haven't eaten
37:29a thing.
37:30Aren't you starving?
37:3305-1602.
37:38I just remembered
37:39Mike's password
37:41for his voicemail.
37:42I have to call
37:43the cell phone company
37:44or they're going to charge
37:45us for an extra month.
37:47I can do that for you.
37:48I will call them
37:48first thing tomorrow morning.
37:50I can do that for you.
37:50I will call them first thing
37:53MJ signed up for pitching
37:58for Little League this year.
38:01Mike was supposed
38:02to teach him.
38:03Oh, honey,
38:03I'll send Carlos over
38:04to coach him.
38:05I gave him two girls
38:05who hate sports,
38:06so he'll be thrilled.
38:07Mike was always checking
38:09the tires on our car
38:10with this thingy.
38:13I don't know where
38:14the thingy is.
38:16I just know it was important
38:17and it kept us safe.
38:19Hey, hey, Tom's still
38:20taking care of our cars.
38:22I'll just tell him
38:23to add yours
38:23to his to-do list
38:24from now on.
38:29Susan,
38:30we are going to do
38:31everything we can
38:32to hold you up, okay?
38:35Okay.
38:37Yes,
38:37as much as death
38:39takes from us,
38:40it also gives.
38:43It teaches us
38:44what's truly important.
38:45like giving back
38:49after a lifetime
38:50of taking.
38:54Going after something
38:55we never should have
38:58let go of.
39:03Or looking back
39:05on what made us
39:06who we are.
39:10But sometimes,
39:12the lessons learned
39:13after a person's death
39:14aren't the ones
39:17we expected.
39:19Forensic says
39:19the prints in the mug
39:20matched the prints
39:21we found on the dead guy.
39:22The whole time
39:22she was dating Chuck,
39:23I never trusted her.
39:26You think we got enough
39:26to arrest her?
39:28Probably.
39:29Let's hold off.
39:30I want to make sure
39:31we get enough
39:32to put this bitch
39:32away for good.