- ontem
Deshaun takes being protective of his mom to the next level. He's over 700 pounds and won't leave his mother's apartment. Dr. Now and Dr. Paradise must get him to leave the bedroom.
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00:00I dread waking up every day in this body because of my weight.
00:04That's the main reason my life is hard.
00:07I just want to be free.
00:09I'm trapped in this body.
00:11It makes me wish stuff was different.
00:15But right now, this is my life.
00:18Deshaun Davis is a 28-year-old man from Omaha, Nebraska,
00:22whose life has been taken over by his weight.
00:24I live with my mom, two sisters, and one brother.
00:27Yeah, so now I'm stuck in this situation where I'm the oldest out of four,
00:34but my younger siblings are taking care of me.
00:37My sister, Diamond, we argue, fight, like any other siblings.
00:42She's in her own little world. I'm in mine.
00:45But that means mom.
00:47Okay.
00:48At the end of the day, she used to support me.
00:51I mean, call me when I need you.
00:53Call me when you need me?
00:54Yep.
00:54Just getting out of bed is a huge struggle for Deshaun,
00:57who knows that his body is going to give up on him any time.
01:00I don't know what can motivate him.
01:03Like I tell him, I'm not here to judge you.
01:04You're my brother.
01:05But you gotta do better.
01:07You gotta at least try.
01:08Put an effort in it.
01:09Because you can't have somebody rooting for you,
01:12and you're not rooting for yourself.
01:13I'm here for him.
01:15As much as possible.
01:17Deshaun is embarrassed because of how much help he needs throughout the day,
01:20but he knows he has no other option, and his family knows that, too.
01:23I'm not washing up my mom or my dad.
01:25I'm washing up my big brother.
01:27So it's like, my little big brother.
01:29Washing him up is a little awkward.
01:31He need to learn how to water is your best friend.
01:33That's what it is.
01:35But that's my brother.
01:37Now I don't look at him no different.
01:38Okay, y'all done washing up?
01:40Do you need anything else or ready to get dressed?
01:43Yep.
01:43Despite that, he tries to remain as independent as possible,
01:46but somehow that's just not enough at this point.
01:49I'm gonna go ahead and start some breakfast for us.
01:55Already?
01:55I do like the store runs for him,
01:58and sometimes I'll go get his food for him if he needs it.
02:01Sometimes I cook.
02:02Whatever he needs, I'm there.
02:04I'm there to help.
02:05You have to appreciate his sister for doing so much for him
02:08because at this point,
02:09she is Deshawn's full-time caretaker
02:10and has to do things that she shouldn't be doing for him.
02:13Hey, Deshawn.
02:14Yeah, ma?
02:16I'm coming in.
02:17Okay.
02:19How you feeling today?
02:20All right.
02:21That's good.
02:22Diamond done woke me up and started for breakfast.
02:24Diamond got smelling good in here.
02:26She got going on.
02:28Yeah, that just made my stomach ache.
02:31Deshawn's my first baby.
02:33My boy, I had him for five years
02:35before I had any more kids,
02:36so he's the very spoiled one.
02:39Here you go.
02:40Ooh.
02:41But in doing so,
02:42she also keeps enabling his unhealthy eating habits,
02:45which have gotten him to this point.
02:47All my life, food has been a comfort to me.
02:50I mean, my hustle growing up wasn't bad,
02:54but it wasn't good.
02:55I mean, my mom used to do drugs.
03:00My dad, he got locked up when I was around four and a half, five years old,
03:06so I just feel like nobody loved me.
03:08And then when my mom, I know she cared about me and loved me.
03:13It's evident that Deshawn's mom also has a weight problem,
03:16but the two of them are addicted to food
03:17to the point where they don't care about their health
03:19when a plate full of food is in front of them.
03:21That's when it started to get worse.
03:24I did not get along with my stepdad at all.
03:26My stepdad used to call me slow, dumb, fat.
03:32So I was focused on my friends and not him,
03:35staying out the house.
03:37When he was only seven or eight,
03:40we got into a heated argument.
03:42The stepdad.
03:44Things got way out of hand.
03:48My family wanted me to leave,
03:50and he didn't want me to.
03:51So by the grace of God, I made it.
03:53Now, Deshawn has been through a pretty rough childhood,
03:55which is what led to him developing an emotional dependence on food,
03:59and he hasn't been able to let go of it even as an adult.
04:01It's a hard thing to leave your child,
04:03especially when they're young.
04:04Aaron, let's hear it.
04:06Let me see it, let me see it, let me see it.
04:09I guess kids who was more mature in high school,
04:13they wouldn't make fun of me in my face,
04:15but I felt like they was talking about me,
04:19and it just made me uncomfortable.
04:21That's when I really started smoking marijuana.
04:23It used to calm me down, get me out of my head,
04:26and I just started snacking.
04:30I got bigger and bigger.
04:32When I was 18, I weighed in the 500s.
04:36Because Deshawn has felt so lonely throughout his life,
04:39he has completely shut himself off from the rest of the world,
04:41and now food is his only true companion.
04:44I was like 15 going on 16.
04:46When I had ended up getting shot,
04:49me and my mom were having a little shindig,
04:53and out of nowhere, we just started hearing gunshots,
04:57and bullets just flying everywhere.
04:59I guess that drilling and stuff is real,
05:02because I jumped up and pulled her down,
05:05and when I went to go pull her down,
05:08that's when the bullet grazed my hand right here
05:11and went through my thumb and came out right here.
05:15Like, I didn't even know I was shot until my mom started freaking out.
05:18It was like, you're bleeding, and I looked down,
05:20and that's when the pain started coming.
05:22Nobody died or anything, so I'm glad about that.
05:26But that's when I really started to stay in the house all day.
05:31And while he knows that his choices are not exactly the healthiest,
05:35Deshawn has no other way to deal with all the emotions and trauma
05:38that haunts him to this day.
05:40Try and get a hold of Diamond.
05:42Ask her, can she go to the store for you?
05:44I try these shoes, and they can't fit,
05:46so would you be willing to go to the store
05:48and not just FaceTime you while you're there?
05:51Yeah.
05:52Okay, thank you.
05:53Deshawn's very close-lipped.
05:55A lot of things you can ask him.
05:57Nothing's ever said.
05:58He'll say, oh, I'm okay.
06:00I'm all right, Mom.
06:02And that's the end of that conversation.
06:03It's been ages since he has stepped out of his house
06:06simply because he doesn't even try to push himself.
06:09I'm at the store, so we're going to put one of these again.
06:12Grab some couple of Kool-Aid packages.
06:14Okay, so can you get a bag of hot cheese puffs
06:20and jalapeno cheese puffs?
06:21Okay, so this one and this one.
06:27All right, any more chairs?
06:28No.
06:29You around any sweets?
06:31They got lemon cakes.
06:33Let me see.
06:35Oh.
06:36That's the lemon cake, and this one's from Mississippi.
06:38He usually sends his sister to do grocery shopping for him,
06:41but let's be real, none of these items qualify as groceries.
06:44Most of my days I'm supposed to eat.
06:46I don't believe I can change.
06:47I'm hoping I can.
06:49On your way home, if you like,
06:51can you stop by and grab dinner?
06:53The only things Deshawn is interested in buying
06:55are junk food and sugary snacks,
06:57which goes to show that he has no control over his cravings.
07:01Can I get two number fours, and then can I get the number seven?
07:07Deshawn has never left this house, not once, for three years.
07:12And I think he's been in the kitchen twice.
07:14All right.
07:16That's it?
07:17Yeah.
07:18Anything else?
07:19Good?
07:19Yep.
07:20All right.
07:20The only thing that scares me is blood clots
07:22and all those other unhealthy things.
07:26It gets to the point where I go to my friend's house
07:29and stay for a couple days.
07:31And if that wasn't enough,
07:33he is already craving his next fast food meal,
07:35and at this point,
07:36his eating habits are a major concern for his family members
07:38who see how lethargic he gets after these unhealthy meals.
07:42He's only 28.
07:43He's not even 30 years old.
07:45He still has a whole future ahead of him.
07:47And throwing it away for what?
07:49I really do want to change.
07:50It's just hard.
07:52But my mom's telling me not to give up.
07:55That's my real best friend, so...
07:57His mother dreads the day when Deshawn's condition will become worse,
08:00and he will no longer be able to do the few things that he still can.
08:03But for now,
08:04it looks like Deshawn has completely given up on himself.
08:06How did you sleep?
08:08Eh, all right.
08:09Change, you know.
08:11I'm Vonna, and I'm Deshawn's caregiver.
08:14I work with him Monday through Friday.
08:16I'm making you sausage, baking, waffles, eggs.
08:20Okay, thanks.
08:21Sounds good.
08:22We're gonna try to get him out the room,
08:24so hopefully, whatever this doctor comes up with,
08:28it works, and he sticks to it.
08:30It's kind of like me coming to help out my big brother,
08:33because I'm only 24.
08:35I've never worked with anybody, like, that close in age.
08:39We just try to be family.
08:42But on his mother's insistence,
08:44he has decided to meet Dr. Now,
08:45the only person who can help Deshawn
08:47despite all the weight he has put on.
08:49You got your appointment today.
08:51Oh, yeah.
08:52You nervous?
08:53No.
08:53I'm just ready to get it over with.
08:56Whatever he's saying,
08:56you gotta make sure you stick to it.
08:58Yeah.
08:59And then maybe in a few months.
09:01All right, let's get ready for your appointment.
09:03Let me grab the computer.
09:04Okay.
09:05I'm about to do my appointment with Dr. Now.
09:09To be honest, I think the appointment is gonna go,
09:11like, always tell me what I gotta do
09:13and stuff I already know.
09:15And while his caretaker tries to ensure
09:17that Deshawn eats healthy and stays on track,
09:19as soon as she's gone,
09:20he goes back to his old ways.
09:21So, tell me a little about your situation
09:24and what I can do for you.
09:26I'm pretty much just losing weight,
09:29getting back in shape.
09:31Okay.
09:31So, it says here in your file
09:33that you're 28 years old?
09:35Yes.
09:37Okay.
09:37And you're almost 700 pounds, right?
09:40Yes.
09:41I try exercising,
09:42I try dieting,
09:43and nothing really helps.
09:47I'll lose, like, 5, 10 pounds,
09:49but it comes right back.
09:52Well, whatever you're eating right now
09:53is supporting 700 pounds.
09:55So, if you want to eat
09:57to support somebody to be 200 pounds,
10:00you have to eat one-third of what you're eating.
10:02Okay?
10:03Mm-hmm.
10:03But no matter how hard anyone tries,
10:05Deshawn seems completely hopeless.
10:07Because it's not safe
10:08for someone his weight to travel to Houston,
10:09he decides to meet Dr. Now online.
10:11So, on a typical day,
10:13what do you eat for breakfast?
10:15Um, it depends.
10:16Sometimes it's eggs and toast
10:21or the little frozen waffles.
10:23Okay.
10:24How is your activity?
10:25Not as much.
10:27Standing.
10:28For, like, a couple of minutes at a time, so...
10:31All right.
10:32Do you have a goal in your life?
10:35Not really.
10:36Do you have any friends?
10:37No.
10:38Does anybody come and visit you?
10:40No.
10:41Just family.
10:43And do you want to go anywhere in the world?
10:46I would like to travel.
10:48So, when you go to another place
10:50beside Omaha,
10:52what will be different
10:53but you want to do different?
10:55They have different stuff to do
10:57in different places.
10:59Well, you can't argue with that.
11:01So, where do you want to go?
11:03And Dr. Now can see that Deshawn
11:04does have dreams and things
11:05that he wants to do,
11:06but he just can't find the motivation
11:08to lose the weight
11:09and make them come true.
11:10Well, how bad do you want
11:12to get out of Omaha?
11:14Bad enough to start eating healthy?
11:17I guess.
11:18All right, Deshawn,
11:19if I send you some stuff
11:21to read,
11:22do you think you'll go over
11:23the whole line
11:24and try to understand it?
11:26Yes.
11:27All right.
11:28So, in the meantime,
11:29you know,
11:30I think you are at the mercy
11:32of the nurse
11:32what she brings you.
11:34Maybe we need to talk
11:35to that nurse
11:36and see if we can get her
11:37to really work with you
11:39about your eating habit.
11:41Good.
11:41I'm also going to send
11:43a nutritionist
11:44to talk to you
11:44because you need
11:45to understand
11:46what you're eating
11:46and how much you're eating.
11:48Then I'm going to send
11:49you some PT
11:50to help you
11:51with your mobility.
11:52The doctor makes it clear
11:53that he doesn't have
11:54much time
11:55and if he wants
11:55to live a long life,
11:57he needs to start
11:57taking action.
11:58All right.
11:59So, Deshawn,
12:00have you seen
12:01any therapist
12:02or psychiatrist
12:04or anybody
12:05to help you work
12:07through things
12:08in your life?
12:09I was.
12:10Not no more.
12:11Okay.
12:12Was that helping you?
12:14A little bit.
12:15Okay.
12:15So, I think
12:16the first step
12:17for you is
12:18to start talking
12:18to psychotherapy again.
12:20If we said that for you,
12:22do you think
12:22you can do that?
12:23I guess.
12:25I'll be ready
12:26to receive the documents
12:27so I can get started.
12:30All right, Deshawn.
12:31You take care.
12:31See you later.
12:32All right.
12:33Bye.
12:34But Dr. Now
12:34doesn't just want Deshawn
12:35to follow his diet plan.
12:37He also wants him
12:37to see a physical therapist
12:39to start regaining
12:39his mobility
12:40and then he addresses
12:41Deshawn's mental health.
12:43The situation
12:43we have with Deshawn
12:45is looking like
12:46it will be a difficult one
12:48because he clearly
12:49lacks a lot of motivation.
12:51So, I will hopefully
12:52be able to talk
12:54to his caregiver
12:55and then see
12:57how things will go
12:58with the nutritionist
13:00and PT.
13:01But the big thing
13:02will be with him
13:03working with psychotherapy
13:05to see if they can help
13:06get to some of the issues
13:08with him.
13:09The doctor tells Deshawn
13:10that he will set
13:11everything up for him
13:11but at the end of the day
13:12he is the one
13:13who has to make the effort
13:14and lose weight.
13:15Dr. Now only hopes
13:16that his words
13:17went through to Deshawn
13:18because he really needs
13:19to start taking control
13:20of his life.
13:21Good morning.
13:22What's up?
13:23What's up?
13:23How you been doing
13:24this morning?
13:24I'm good.
13:25I got food for you.
13:27Is your nutrition
13:27coming today?
13:28Yes.
13:29All right,
13:29we'll leave the door
13:30and lock for you.
13:31Okay.
13:31All right,
13:32have a good day.
13:33I guess my nurse
13:34is supposed to call
13:35Dr. Now
13:35to get my meal plan
13:37and order.
13:39I might eat
13:39or I might not.
13:41I guess I'm ready
13:42to try it.
13:45What else
13:45do I got to lose?
13:47A month after
13:47his meeting
13:48with Dr. Now,
13:49it doesn't really look
13:49like Deshawn
13:50has made any progress
13:51with his weight.
13:52So tell me a little bit
13:53about what your
13:54normal eating habits
13:56look like.
13:56A pizza or
13:57Okay.
13:59some noodles
13:59or a burrito
14:01or something.
14:02And what drinks
14:02do you have
14:03throughout the day?
14:04Water.
14:04Water.
14:05So I see you have
14:06maybe...
14:07Yeah,
14:07I had that today.
14:11That's funny.
14:12Yeah,
14:12like I normally
14:13drink water.
14:14So what I'm going
14:15to do is I'm going
14:15to go out
14:16if it's okay with you
14:17and go through
14:17your fridge,
14:18pantry,
14:18and then I'll bring
14:19some of those items
14:20back and we can go
14:21through the nutrition
14:21facts label to see
14:22maybe what we can
14:23avoid and those
14:24kinds of things.
14:25How does that sound?
14:26Okay,
14:26perfect.
14:27At this point,
14:27he claims he is still
14:28waiting to receive
14:29Dr. Now's meal plan
14:30and he's not sure
14:31whether he will
14:32even follow it
14:32and today he has
14:33a nutritionist
14:34visiting him
14:35to help Deshawn
14:35figure out
14:36how to eat better.
14:37So I grabbed
14:37some stuff for us
14:38to take a look at.
14:39Okay.
14:40So you said
14:41that you have
14:42these pretty often
14:43and so let's
14:45look at the back.
14:46So if you look,
14:48this is per
14:49half pizza
14:50and this is
14:51for the whole pizza
14:51so we want to
14:52make sure we look
14:53at this line.
14:54How much total fat
14:55is in it?
14:5536.
14:56Yeah,
14:56so that's a lot,
14:57huh?
14:58Mm-hmm.
14:58Of course,
14:58it's hard for Deshawn
14:59to actually realize
15:00that everything
15:01he loves eating
15:02is slowly killing him
15:03and that he needs
15:03to stop eating
15:04all the junk
15:05that brings him
15:05comfort if he ever
15:06wants to get better.
15:08Hi,
15:09Sean.
15:09Hi.
15:09Hi,
15:09I'm Sarah.
15:10I'm with
15:11Athletico Physical Therapy.
15:12Hi.
15:12Nice to meet you.
15:14How are you?
15:15I'm all right.
15:16Good.
15:17Okay,
15:17well,
15:17the first step
15:18to actually getting better
15:19is actually having
15:19to do it.
15:20I brought some bands
15:21with me.
15:22So we're gonna start
15:23with just moving,
15:24doing some things
15:24for your ankle.
15:25So your muscles
15:25and your ankle
15:26kind of connect
15:27higher up in your leg
15:28and those will help
15:28with your balance.
15:29And what I want you
15:30to do, Sean,
15:30is I want you to push
15:31down towards the ground.
15:33Good.
15:33And then back up
15:34towards you.
15:35Good.
15:36How's that feel
15:36as you're doing it?
15:38That's all right.
15:39Tolerable?
15:40Yeah.
15:40Okay, good.
15:41He still spends
15:42most of his day
15:42on his bed
15:43without attempting
15:44any kind of exercise,
15:45which is why
15:46Dr. Now sends
15:46a physical therapist over.
15:48I want you to turn
15:48your toes towards me.
15:50Good.
15:51And then back in.
15:52Perfect.
15:53How's this one
15:54feel in comparison?
15:55It's all right.
15:56It's better.
15:57Okay.
15:58Doable?
15:59Yeah.
15:59Yeah, okay.
16:00So that's gonna be
16:01yours to keep here.
16:01Okay.
16:02Okay.
16:02Would you be willing
16:03to try getting up?
16:05Yeah, for that?
16:06The walker?
16:07Yeah.
16:07Yeah, okay.
16:10All right.
16:11Gotta make sure
16:11I'm set on my feet.
16:12Settle on your feet
16:13before.
16:14Yeah.
16:15Okay.
16:15So you're standing up.
16:16Yeah.
16:17Good.
16:18And then let's
16:19maybe take a couple
16:20steps towards the doorway
16:21for that.
16:23I think from Sean,
16:24I think the biggest
16:25thing that he needs
16:26to do is just have
16:27consistency with effort.
16:29Okay, good.
16:29We'll kind of turn
16:30back around.
16:30We'll come back
16:31towards the bed.
16:32So my goal for him
16:33trying to get up
16:34a little bit more
16:34frequently and move
16:35and it doesn't have
16:36to be long distances.
16:37Short distances
16:38is enough.
16:39And if Sean
16:40were to do his
16:41exercises two or
16:42three times a day,
16:43it's not gonna take
16:43long for him to
16:44see change very quickly.
16:46The PT performs
16:47a bunch of exercises
16:48with Deshaun,
16:49but once again,
16:49it just looks like
16:50he's not ready
16:51to accept help
16:52or even attempt
16:52to get better.
16:53Okay.
16:54So again,
16:55it doesn't have to be
16:55much to get started.
16:56If we can just
16:57get you up and moving
16:58a couple more times a day
16:59than just being in bed
17:00all the time,
17:01it's gonna build
17:02your strength
17:03a whole lot faster.
17:04I want you to just
17:05keep up with the exercises.
17:06I want you to kind of
17:06contact me if you have
17:07any questions or concerns
17:08with anything.
17:09And then hopefully,
17:11well, next time we're
17:11seeing you,
17:12you're feeling a whole
17:13lot better.
17:13Okay.
17:14Okay?
17:14All right.
17:15It's been a pleasure.
17:15Thanks.
17:16With the help
17:17of the physical therapist,
17:18Deshaun manages to walk
17:19around by using his
17:20walker for support,
17:21but again,
17:22he's not able to do so
17:23for very long
17:23because he's just
17:24not strong enough.
17:25Surprisingly,
17:26Deshaun sounds a lot
17:27more hopeful
17:27after seeing the
17:28physical therapist,
17:29so maybe now is the
17:30time he starts
17:31taking his health
17:32seriously.
17:33So, Shaul,
17:33I'm glad you're
17:35sticking with this
17:361200 calorie thing.
17:38Hopefully,
17:38I'll be joining you
17:39real soon.
17:40Mama's got a lot
17:41of other issues.
17:44I'm working out,
17:45but my main one
17:46is the diet.
17:47Yeah.
17:48Tonight,
17:48my mom kind of
17:49wanted to have
17:50a nice little dinner.
17:52So,
17:52I came home from work,
17:54made some
17:54asparagus and chicken.
17:56Cooking's not that bad,
17:57but fitting it
17:58into my schedule.
17:59With me trying to work
18:01and keep up
18:03with the house,
18:04it's a lot of work.
18:05In the second month
18:06of his journey,
18:06Deshaun has decided
18:07to commit to
18:08Dr. Now's diet,
18:09and while he wishes
18:10his mother would join him,
18:11she has her own
18:12reasons not to.
18:13It's stringy
18:13and rubbery.
18:15It's a part of the diet,
18:16y'all.
18:16I get that.
18:17It's part of the diet.
18:20And I love vegetables,
18:22some of them.
18:25You gotta crush him.
18:29The diet and stuff
18:30it's just hard on him.
18:31Fast food delivery,
18:32that's what he loves.
18:34But I'm always down
18:35to hope if it's gonna
18:36make anything better
18:38for him.
18:38So,
18:39hopefully he doesn't
18:40just give up
18:41and he actually
18:42give it a shot.
18:43Poor Diamond
18:43is the only one
18:44who's actually
18:45taking this seriously
18:46and forcing her brother
18:47to eat food
18:48that's good for him
18:48for a change.
18:49It's been about
18:50six weeks
18:51since I first
18:52talked to Deshawn.
18:53And since then,
18:54I've been waiting
18:55for him to connect me
18:57with his nurse
18:58because I need
18:59to have a talk
18:59with her
19:00about changing
19:01what she's feeding him.
19:03But he didn't follow
19:04through on connecting
19:05me with her.
19:06But his mom
19:07will have called me
19:08and held
19:09to set a call
19:10with Deshawn's nurse.
19:11By the third month,
19:12a conversation
19:13between Deshawn
19:14and Dr. Now
19:15is long overdue
19:16and he is finally
19:17talking to his nurse
19:17to see where he stands
19:18right now.
19:19I hear that you
19:20were taking care
19:21of Deshawn, right?
19:24Yes.
19:25All right.
19:25Deshawn, tell me
19:27that you prepare
19:29the food for him.
19:30Yes, I do prepare
19:31and cook food for him
19:32when I'm there.
19:34His family,
19:35they enable him
19:36and they get him
19:37more food,
19:38food that he doesn't
19:39really need.
19:40Well, that's on top
19:41of what you prepare
19:42for him
19:43or just when you're
19:45not there,
19:45they do not?
19:46They do that
19:47when I'm not there.
19:48Like, whatever
19:49he wants them to do,
19:51they do it
19:52because he screams
19:53and he yells
19:53and his attitude
19:55is outrageous
19:56and kind of uncontrollably.
19:58He has a terrible attitude.
20:00The nurse is completely
20:00honest with Dr. Now
20:02and tells him
20:02that Deshawn
20:03won't lose his weight
20:04unless his family
20:04stops enabling him
20:06and giving in
20:06to his every demand.
20:08Deshawn is more
20:09of a driving force
20:10eating unhealthy.
20:11But everyone around him,
20:13including his nurse,
20:15is playing their part
20:16and enabling him
20:17in the past.
20:19Hopefully,
20:19they aren't doing
20:20that now
20:21that Deshawn is trying.
20:23Hopefully,
20:24Yvonne will be able
20:25to help get him
20:26doing what he needs.
20:28The doctor decides
20:29to send Deshawn's nurse
20:30his meal plan
20:30so she can ensure
20:31that he is not eating
20:32the kind of food
20:33that he loves.
20:34And together,
20:35Dr. Now
20:35and the nurse
20:36hope that this
20:36will force Deshawn
20:37to make some serious
20:38changes to his lifestyle.
20:40Get the laptop open
20:40so we can get started.
20:41I'm here today
20:44to see how
20:44the doctor's appointment
20:45goes and what
20:46all the doctor wants
20:47Deshawn to do.
20:48To lose weight.
20:49Deshawn's getting weight.
20:51He has not,
20:52he has not done anything
20:53but use the restroom,
20:55eat,
20:55and lay down.
20:56He claims he sits up more
20:58but he just sits
20:59and dwells in his own sorrows.
21:01And bottom line is
21:02that's the point
21:03we're at now.
21:04Waking up one day
21:05and finding him
21:05in that room dead.
21:06The next month,
21:07Deshawn is getting ready
21:08for Dr. Now,
21:09but the problem is
21:10that instead of losing weight,
21:11he has actually
21:11put on pounds.
21:13Why?
21:13Because he wasn't
21:14following the doctor's
21:15diet and exercise plan.
21:16Trying to get my son
21:17motivated to come see you.
21:19Well,
21:20what's the point
21:20of coming to see us?
21:22If he's not mobile
21:23and he's not active
21:25and he's not following
21:26what we tell him?
21:27What is the issue?
21:28I don't know.
21:29You told PT
21:30you stopped coming.
21:31Do you have a reason
21:32for that?
21:33No.
21:34No.
21:35Okay.
21:36And we said
21:37you're a nutritionist.
21:39So what are you doing
21:40with your eating habit?
21:41I got to your nurse
21:42and it sounds like
21:44you have a lot of
21:45enablers around
21:46giving you what you want.
21:47And if they don't,
21:48then you throw a fit
21:49and manipulate them
21:50to give you what you want.
21:52You have no motivation
21:53and you don't want
21:54to change anything.
21:55And right off the bat,
21:56Dr. Now calls Deshawn out
21:57for not doing anything
21:58since the last time
21:59he spoke to him
22:00and Deshawn has no explanation
22:01for his lack of progress.
22:03He goes only to the bathroom
22:04and back to bed.
22:06He doesn't walk.
22:07He said he's been
22:09moving his legs around
22:10in the bed,
22:10but I'm not here
22:12on the regular to see that,
22:13so I don't know.
22:14So I've done all I can do
22:16on my side
22:17to get him motivated.
22:18I don't know
22:18what else he needs.
22:20I don't know.
22:20I mean, at this point,
22:22he's got to want it
22:22and I don't think he does.
22:25He keeps telling me he does.
22:26But you don't have to
22:28wait on the paperwork
22:29to exercise.
22:31I don't care no more.
22:32His attitude is so negative
22:33that Dr. Now is a little shocked
22:35and that's when
22:36his mother steps in.
22:37Okay, well,
22:38I'm done with it.
22:38I don't care.
22:41Because I spoke for you,
22:43you have an attitude?
22:44Then Deshawn,
22:45so you don't want this?
22:47No, I don't want nothing.
22:49Well, you're not going
22:49to die up in here.
22:51Well, I'll go to the street
22:54and die.
22:55You make a lot of sense.
22:56I don't care no more.
22:58I barely f***ing eat.
22:59I don't care anymore.
23:01My nurse barely come.
23:03I don't care no more.
23:05Y'all saying I'm sitting here
23:06eating to do all the f*** I want?
23:08No, the f*** I don't.
23:10Yeah, maybe once or twice
23:11out of a f***ing month
23:12when I get my food stamps?
23:13Yeah, I will
23:14because it's my food stamps.
23:16You want me to get home?
23:18So what do you expect me
23:19to do for you?
23:21Nothing.
23:21And she admits that right now
23:22it doesn't seem like Deshawn
23:24even wants to get better,
23:25which leads to an argument
23:26between the mother and son.
23:28It's I don't care.
23:29It's always I don't care.
23:30Because everything
23:30come out of everybody's mouth
23:31is blaming me
23:32like I'm not trying.
23:33Sean, you got yourself
23:35in this predicament.
23:36I don't care!
23:36And everybody's trying
23:38to offer you
23:38the help that they can.
23:40You keep telling me
23:40the f*** out of him
23:41it ain't doing.
23:43I don't give a f***.
23:44Well, I know clearly
23:44you're not exercising.
23:46Well, sure ain't.
23:48You get to act like this
23:49because you don't work.
23:51You have a free apartment.
23:52You have free food
23:53and you have free phone.
23:54You have free everything.
23:56So tell me
23:56what you do for yourself.
23:58You want to live
23:59the rest of your life
24:00in that room
24:01and not be able to...
24:02Where else I'm going to go?
24:03I ain't got nowhere else to go.
24:05So...
24:05I'm talking to Dr. Now.
24:06I'd rather not hear your voice.
24:08The entire conversation
24:09is extremely emotionally charged
24:11as Dr. Now tries to make
24:12Deshawn see how destructive
24:14he's being.
24:14But Deshawn just doesn't care.
24:16I appreciate you
24:17trying to help him
24:18and he does not really
24:20appreciate what you do for him.
24:23But, you know,
24:23the key issue is
24:24for you not to give up on him.
24:26I would never give up on him.
24:28And if you want to do it,
24:29you have to do it.
24:30If not,
24:31nobody's going to make you.
24:32Nobody's going to hold your hand
24:33and walk you through it.
24:35You're exactly right.
24:36He makes him very comfortable
24:37and he's not going to be
24:39motivated to do anything.
24:41And after Deshawn's attitude,
24:42Dr. Now just doesn't see
24:44what he can do for him,
24:45but he tells his mother
24:46not to give up on him.
24:48Are you willing to talk?
24:50No, I'm willing.
24:52Okay.
24:53I didn't want to talk to you.
24:53No way.
24:54Not right now.
24:55I love you.
24:57You have a good day.
24:58It's sad.
24:59At this point,
25:00I don't know what else
25:00anybody can do for Deshawn.
25:02Because he doesn't even
25:04want to do anything for himself.
25:06For him not to want to even
25:07get the help he needs,
25:10it's literally killing me
25:11mentally and physically.
25:14But at this point,
25:15I don't know what else to tell him.
25:16Dr. Now asks Deshawn's mother
25:18to make him see a therapist,
25:19and she promises to do
25:20whatever she can
25:21to get him back on track.
25:22But of course,
25:23this has been an extremely
25:24difficult situation
25:25for everyone involved.
25:26Deshawn has finally agreed
25:49to see Dr. Paradise for therapy.
25:51And while he is skeptical about it,
25:53he is willing to give it a try.
25:54Okay.
25:55So you had a stepdad?
25:56No, no.
25:57I didn't claim nobody
25:58as my stepdad.
26:00Is that meaningful
26:01that you don't claim him?
26:03Was there a guy about him?
26:05It's just I didn't really
26:07get along with him,
26:08and my mom and him
26:10wasn't together that long.
26:12What's that about?
26:14Yeah, I'm hearing a pattern
26:16of the fathers in your life,
26:18the men in your life,
26:19not super reliable.
26:22No.
26:22But that was the house
26:23you grew up in.
26:24What were you like as a kid?
26:26I was a quiet person
26:27that people used to pick on me.
26:30And I used to just blow up
26:31and snap on people
26:32and get into fights
26:34or walk out of school.
26:35And as intimidating
26:37as it was for Deshawn,
26:38he finds it easy
26:39to talk to Dr. Paradise
26:40about things that he has buried
26:41deep down inside.
26:43Yeah, I'm just not
26:43an open person.
26:45I'm a quiet person, so.
26:47And I heard you're kind of
26:49stuck at home now.
26:51Yeah, I really don't like
26:53going anywhere anyways,
26:54so I don't know.
26:56It's just I'm used to.
26:58Yeah, I wonder what that means
26:59that you don't even want
27:00to go out.
27:02Yeah.
27:02I feel safe at home,
27:03pretty much.
27:04Like, I feel secure here.
27:07Safe from what?
27:09Society.
27:09Like, I got PTSD, too, so.
27:15PTSD from?
27:16Getting shot.
27:18Uh, we was kicking it
27:21in the house,
27:22me and my mom,
27:22a couple of friends,
27:24and somebody just
27:25shot at her house.
27:26Deshawn is honest
27:27with the doctor
27:28about his feelings
27:29and how he has a hard time
27:30expressing them.
27:31You know, when we think about
27:33That's why I'm just glad
27:34we moved from that neighborhood.
27:36You're in a quiet neighborhood.
27:38Yeah.
27:38I'm still worried
27:39that you're stuck
27:39in the house, though.
27:40There's nothing really
27:42out there for me to do, really.
27:43Well, it is, but.
27:45I feel, Deshawn,
27:46like we're wasting you,
27:48you know?
27:48Like, you could be
27:49of more use
27:50than you are sitting
27:51home doing nothing.
27:53Yeah, I just gotta be
27:54interested in something
27:56or motivated to do it.
27:58What do you do
27:59with your time?
28:00Either watch TV
28:02or play my game.
28:04Okay.
28:05Can you walk well?
28:07Not really.
28:08I gotta use a walker.
28:09Okay.
28:10Is that demoralizing
28:12when you try to get up
28:13that you gotta use a walker
28:15to go where you're going?
28:18Yeah.
28:19Do you not go out
28:20even outside your room,
28:21Deshawn?
28:22No.
28:23Dr. Paradise recognizes
28:24that Deshawn's life
28:25has not been easy,
28:26so his frazzled state of mind
28:28seems to make a lot of sense.
28:29I can't imagine
28:30what it's like
28:31to be stuck
28:32for seven months
28:33in the same room.
28:34Like, I'm comfortable.
28:35Deshawn, I'm not
28:37saying this
28:38to be mean,
28:39but you have
28:40a really small life,
28:42but there's a real world.
28:44I mean,
28:44it's the same.
28:45There's nothing out there.
28:47It's the same people.
28:49I know,
28:50but what would happen
28:51if you stepped
28:51out of your door?
28:52What's out
28:53on the front porch?
28:55I don't know.
28:56So,
28:57at least,
28:58Deshawn,
28:58if there was a fire
29:00in your apartment,
29:02you could get yourself out.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Okay.
29:05You know,
29:06there's a fire
29:07in your life.
29:09Like,
29:09I kind of want you
29:10to think that
29:11there's a fire
29:11in your life right now
29:12that requires you
29:14to get up
29:14and move around.
29:15And,
29:16you know,
29:16I can give you
29:17a bunch of homework,
29:18but I don't know
29:19that I'm confident
29:19that you'll do it.
29:21Deshawn,
29:21even if I gave you
29:22the homework
29:23to get up
29:23and walk
29:24into the living room,
29:25could you do that?
29:27Yes.
29:27Could you do that
29:28once a day?
29:30If I wanted to.
29:31He also catches
29:31Deshawn in his lies
29:33and refuses
29:33to let him brush
29:34things off
29:35and avoid
29:35difficult questions.
29:36Did you have
29:37a nice session
29:38with therapy?
29:39No,
29:39it was irritating.
29:41I don't know,
29:41it felt like
29:42we kept going
29:43over each other.
29:45Just glad it's over.
29:47Okay.
29:48I mean,
29:49did you get
29:49anything out of it?
29:50I mean,
29:52he tried to help
29:53as best as he could.
29:55It's just my stubbornness.
29:56I'm sorry.
29:58It's all right.
29:58I just
29:59calmed down.
30:03The day of
30:03pre-polling
30:03was okay,
30:04I guess.
30:05I think it went
30:05as best as it could.
30:07It's just,
30:07I mean,
30:09I don't know,
30:10I got frustrated.
30:11I'm not a person
30:12to express my feelings
30:13really,
30:14so.
30:15But once again,
30:16Deshawn feels
30:17completely annoyed
30:18after the session
30:18is over
30:19because anytime
30:20someone tells him
30:20the truth,
30:21he just wants
30:21to dismiss it.
30:22At this point,
30:23you really can't tell
30:24what he's planning
30:24to do going ahead.
30:25I don't mind
30:27seeing Dr.
30:27Paradise again.
30:28It's just,
30:29I haven't been
30:30in therapy for a while.
30:32Since my other
30:33therapist moved on,
30:36it's just that
30:36I was so used to her.
30:39And now it's just like,
30:41oh no,
30:41I got to build up trust
30:42because I don't like,
30:44you know,
30:45express myself.
30:46Right now today,
30:47I'm doing the therapy homework.
30:49I just like to work
30:52on it on my own time,
30:53like not like
30:55a forceful thing.
30:57Like,
30:58I don't know,
30:58it's just like,
30:59I like to do it
31:00on my own terms,
31:02my time.
31:03As time goes on,
31:04Deshawn seems to be
31:04doing the bare minimum
31:05when it comes to his
31:06diet and exercise plan
31:08while also committing
31:09to therapy.
31:09It actually,
31:18it actually didn't
31:19hurt that much,
31:20you know what I mean?
31:22It was just difficult
31:23getting through the door.
31:24But once I got past
31:25the door,
31:26it was cool.
31:27This is like the first
31:28time in two years
31:29that I actually
31:30sat outside.
31:32I am a little
31:33proud of myself.
31:34I knew I could do it,
31:35I just had to get
31:36out of my head
31:37and just do it.
31:39But you can tell
31:40that he's still
31:40not very hopeful
31:41about the chances
31:42of getting better
31:42and that's what
31:43keeps holding him back.
31:44It feels great
31:45to have the wind
31:46on my face,
31:48actually,
31:48other than sitting
31:49by the window
31:50getting the air.
31:51It's been a long time,
31:53so.
31:54Yeah, yeah.
31:55You gonna spend
31:55the night outside tonight?
31:56You know me.
31:57I love sitting
31:58on the porches,
31:59but.
32:00Is this something
32:01you would do
32:01by yourself?
32:02Yeah.
32:02I don't have a problem
32:03coming out here
32:04every day or
32:05sitting out here
32:06and coming socializing,
32:07like.
32:08It's hard
32:09to do stuff.
32:10But when he takes
32:11Dr. Paradise's advice
32:12to step out
32:13of the house
32:13and soak in
32:14some sun
32:15on the porch,
32:16Deshawn feels
32:16better than he expected.
32:18I am.
32:18Going to the living room
32:19and hanging out
32:20with my mom,
32:21having a meal,
32:22catching up
32:23for the first time
32:24in a while.
32:26Hi, beautiful.
32:27Hi, mama.
32:28It's just exciting
32:31for me to see him
32:31out of that room
32:32for a change.
32:33You got it?
32:34Yeah.
32:35I didn't think
32:36he was ever
32:36gonna come out
32:37of that room.
32:38It's the sixth month
32:39of Deshawn's journey
32:40and it's still not evident
32:41whether he has made
32:42any real progress.
32:43So far,
32:43to my knowledge,
32:44Deshawn has only
32:45been getting up
32:46going to
32:47just the restroom.
32:48This was exciting
32:49for me to just see him
32:50come down the hallway
32:51for the first time.
32:52Have you talked
32:52to Dr. Nell?
32:53No.
32:54Not ever since
32:55you told me
32:55you didn't want
32:56to see me anymore.
32:57Oh, okay.
32:58So right now
32:58you're just working
32:59with the nutritionist
33:00and the therapist?
33:01And, uh,
33:03physical therapy.
33:04Oh, you got
33:05a physical therapist.
33:06Oh, you know that.
33:06Okay.
33:07I've seen her first.
33:09Oh, okay.
33:09But as far as
33:10his mobility is concerned,
33:12Deshawn has definitely
33:12improved.
33:13Hey, Deshawn.
33:15Nice to meet you.
33:16My name's Marvin.
33:17You ready to go
33:18to your appointment?
33:19I'm not gone.
33:20Well, why don't you
33:21go to this appointment,
33:22you know,
33:23figure out your weight
33:24and then you can
33:25start working
33:26on getting better, man.
33:28I don't know.
33:29It's, I don't know.
33:31I just don't want to go.
33:34How long have you
33:35had shoes?
33:36I haven't had shoes
33:37in over two years.
33:38And why is that?
33:39Because they're on feet.
33:41In the seventh month,
33:42after not hearing back
33:43from Deshawn,
33:44Dr. Nell sends
33:44medical transport
33:45to get him to a local
33:46clinic to finally
33:47check his weight.
33:48I don't like people
33:49telling me what to do.
33:50You know,
33:51it's just waiting
33:51for things to be perfect.
33:53I'm not waiting
33:53for nothing to be perfect.
33:54Do you know
33:55when you're supposed
33:56to get your shoes?
33:57No, she says
33:58sometimes so.
34:00Within the day or two.
34:01All right, man.
34:03So that means
34:03next week we're good to go.
34:05Should be.
34:07All right.
34:08So I'll see you
34:09next week, okay?
34:10So me and Deshawn
34:11talked about trying
34:12to get him to go
34:12to his appointment
34:13at the clinic,
34:15which he wasn't
34:16really wanting to go
34:17and had different
34:18things that he put
34:19out there,
34:20reasons of why
34:21he didn't want
34:22to go like his shoes.
34:23Just like seeing him
34:24and like his situation
34:26and his demeanor.
34:27And like every other time,
34:28Deshawn's mood
34:29is in the dumps
34:30because he doesn't
34:31want to face reality.
34:32I was kind of frustrated,
34:34but I didn't want
34:35to take it out on him
34:37because he was just
34:38trying to help.
34:40But he's all right.
34:41Well, Deshawn,
34:42they made good progress
34:43or something.
34:45But I hear you're
34:46refusing to go
34:47with your transport
34:48to the clinic today.
34:49So what's going on?
34:51Because I don't
34:52have my shoes yet.
34:53Okay, so when
34:54are you going to
34:55have those shoes?
34:56Sometime soon.
34:58You don't know when?
34:59Either today,
35:00tomorrow,
35:01or by Monday.
35:03Okay, so if I set up
35:04another appointment
35:06for local training
35:07next week,
35:08do you think
35:08you'll be ready
35:09for that?
35:09If I have my shoes
35:11by then,
35:11I don't mind.
35:12Ultimately,
35:13he decides not
35:13to go to the clinic
35:14or get weighed,
35:15and when Dr. Now
35:16calls to check up
35:17on him,
35:17he is shocked
35:18to hear Deshawn's
35:18excuses.
35:19When Dr. Now
35:20said,
35:21what else can we
35:21do to help you?
35:23I like,
35:25I really wasn't,
35:27I really didn't care
35:29because,
35:30like I said,
35:31I'm frustrated
35:33with him.
35:34One moment,
35:35he said he don't
35:35want nothing
35:36to do with me,
35:37and now that
35:38he see I'm
35:39working and
35:40making progress,
35:43all of a sudden,
35:44he wants to help
35:45and do stuff
35:47with me
35:48and be there
35:49for me.
35:50To me,
35:50he's a hypocrite,
35:52and I didn't
35:53like that.
35:54But he still
35:55gives him one
35:55more chance,
35:56hoping that this
35:57time around,
35:57Deshawn will
35:58want to change.
35:58It's going on
35:59three months
36:00since last
36:01I talked to
36:02Deshawn.
36:03I thought he
36:03quit four months
36:04ago when he
36:05refused to go
36:06to a local
36:07clinic.
36:08But after one
36:09more session,
36:09he quit again,
36:10and now he's
36:11not picking up
36:12any more calls
36:13from me,
36:14and I have
36:14appeared to
36:15be blocked.
36:16It looked like
36:17he decided to
36:18quit because he
36:19also stopped
36:20answering the
36:21door for PT.
36:22So they stopped
36:23going to him
36:24a couple months
36:25ago.
36:26Even his mom
36:27is not answering
36:28the calls when
36:29I tried to
36:29call her,
36:31and he fired
36:32his nurse.
36:32So it seemed
36:33like he didn't
36:34like her trying
36:35to feed him
36:36healthier meals.
36:38So at this
36:38point, it is
36:39clear the choices
36:41that Deshawn
36:41has made
36:42and that he
36:43has no interest
36:45in changing
36:45his life.
36:46In the tenth
36:47month, Dr. Now
36:48has not heard
36:48from Deshawn
36:49in months,
36:49which leads
36:50the doctor to
36:51believe that
36:51this is the
36:51end of his
36:52journey,
36:52and there's
36:53nothing more
36:53that Dr. Now
36:54can do for
36:54him.
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