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I'm about to get pregnant - Damon Sumner
Cracked
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5/29/2025
#shorts #standupcomedy #youtubeshorts #comedy #comedyclubs #comedyshows #comedyvideo #comedyshorts #funny #standup #standupcomedian
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:00
You remember your first house party? What age, this town hall, shout it out, what age were you roughly your first house party?
00:05
13. 13? One hole in the back? What else we got up here?
00:10
15? That's why we need fathers in homes. No, I'm happy you're here.
00:12
I, um, I'm on the same page with you.
00:16
But my first house party happened after my ninth grade banquet, late 90s for context.
00:19
First off, as a poor thing, I'm not hot in the late 90s. I'm five inches shorter than I am right now.
00:24
That's not the punchline. Be quiet, alright?
00:26
I got 65 extra pounds. I mean, I had a large afro. I looked like Aunt Jemima in high school. I was not hot, you understand?
00:33
As I'm getting ready to leave the party, two-star girl pulls me back onto the dance floor, starts grinding on me.
00:38
I'm like, ah! I run outside. I'm about to get pregnant. I gotta get out of here.
00:44
Ran all the way home. It was a lot of blood, but it was a good time, you understand?
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