Being a good godfather | Jared Waters | Cracked Comedy Club - video Dailymotion

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00:00If I could be honest, my biggest fear in life is becoming a father.

00:02That's my biggest fear, man.

00:03I think I might be a bad dad.

00:05I was a horrible godfather for a long time, but I got better.

00:08My godson, he's 16, but he's three years old.

00:10He had a severe speech impediment, and I thought it was my fault.

00:13That's how bad I was.

00:14I thought it was 30 percent my fault.

00:15His parents and Marines asked me to watch him for the summer.

00:18I was like, yeah, I'll do anything for this boy.

00:19They go, just to let you know, he's nonverbal.

00:21I was like, even better.

00:21I know he's not going to talk back to me.

00:22You know what I'm saying?

00:24So what we did the whole summer was watch the rise of the Plan

00:27the Apes every single day.

00:28I was like, they're not talking. He's not talking.

00:30Maybe they could communicate, you know?

00:33I was like, what is he saying?

00:33Are they talking? I don't know.

00:35And he was three.

00:36So he started doing what they were doing.

00:37Oh, they're communicating.

00:39Oh, my God. He's talking.

00:40He's verbal. Problem was we went out in public with him.

00:42That was our biggest mistake.

00:43Now, let me describe what he looks like.

00:44He was a short, blonde haired, blue eyed, white child.

00:47And not a problem like in the northern states, like up here

00:50where you see a black or brown person walking with a little white child.

00:53Nobody thinks anything is wrong.

00:54It was OK. Regular African or Caribbean nanny.

00:57People working again.

00:57Wow. This baby's getting cultured.

00:59Look a little Tom Hanks on. Look at him, right?

01:01Little Chet Hayes, little white boy with a Caribbean accent.

01:03This is great.

01:05In the south, when you see a black person walk up a little white child,

01:08everyone thought I kidnapped this white child.

01:11It's like, excuse me, that kid lost.

01:12That's my godson. Let me ask him, buddy, you lost your life.

01:17Let's call the police.

01:20I said, he said I'm his godfather.

01:21That's what we're working on all summer.

01:23She said, look at me, buddy.

01:24He said, can I take you home?

01:25She told me, like, Caesar is home.

01:27I was like, oh, that's my boy right there, man.

Being a good godfather | Jared Waters | Cracked Comedy Club

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