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Staring at pigeon badonkadonk - Denise Taylor
Cracked
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4/18/2025
#shorts #standupcomedy #youtubeshorts #comedy #comedyclubs #comedyshows #comedyvideo #comedyshorts #funny #standup #standupcomedian
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
I had a guy friend tell me the other day that he doesn't want to approach women in person anymore
00:04
because he's afraid of coming off as a creep.
00:06
And when he said that to me, I was like,
00:08
can you please not smell my hair while you explain it, you know?
00:12
But I didn't believe him, you know?
00:14
I was like, why would anyone do that?
00:15
Like, why would someone accuse you of being weird if that's not what's in your heart?
00:19
You know, I just didn't think it was a real energy that existed in the world, you know?
00:23
Until later that night, I was walking home alone
00:26
and there was a pigeon walking, like, five feet in front of me.
00:32
And yeah, I don't know if you've ever walked behind a pigeon for, like, an extended period of time,
00:37
but they do make you feel weird about it.
00:44
Like, I wasn't even looking at this particular pigeon.
00:47
All of a sudden, he started accelerating kind of out of nowhere, you know, when they do that thing.
00:51
But, like, not crossing the street just yet, but, like, giving me these, like, darting glances,
00:55
like, I'm gonna do something to him, you know?
00:59
And I was like, I don't even look at you that way, but now I am staring.
01:02
I'm staring at his giant badonkadonk.
01:04
Like, I don't want to be in this position, but he's making me feel strange, you know?
01:09
So I was like, okay, just relax, you know?
01:11
No one thinks you're following this pigeon in, like, a creepy way, you know?
01:15
And then he turned a corner, and I'm like, well, I was also gonna turn this same corner.
01:19
Like, I'm not gonna detour for a bird, right?
01:21
Like, until finally, by the end of it, I became a full-on incel, and I had to be like,
01:26
okay, uh, first of all, you're not even the best-looking pigeon on this block, right?
01:32
Bye, bye.
01:32
Bye, bye.
01:32
Bye, bye.
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