Pigeons make me feel like an incel | Denise Taylor | Cracked Comedy Club - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00I had a guy friend tell me the other day that he doesn't want to approach women in person anymore

00:04because he's afraid of coming off as a creep. And when he said that to me, I was like,

00:08can you please not smell my hair while you explain it, you know?

00:12But I didn't believe him, you know? I was like, why would anyone do that? Like,

00:15why would someone accuse you of being weird if that's not what's in your heart, you know?

00:19I just didn't think it was a real energy that existed in the world, you know?

00:23Until later that night, I was walking home alone and there was a pigeon walking like five feet in

00:30front of me. And yeah, I don't know if you've ever walked behind a pigeon for like an extended

00:36period of time, but they do make you feel weird about it. Like, I wasn't even looking at this

00:46particular pigeon. All of a sudden he started accelerating kind of out of nowhere, you know,

00:51when they do that thing, but like not crossing the street just yet, but like giving me these

00:54like darting glances, like I'm going to do something to him, you know? And I was like,

01:00I don't even look at you that way, but now I am staring. I'm staring at his giant badonkadonk.

01:04Like, I don't want to be in this position, but he's making me feel strange, you know? So I was

01:10like, okay, just relax. You know, no one thinks you're following this pigeon in like a creepy way,

01:14you know? And then he turned a corner and I'm like, well, I was also gonna turn this same corner.

01:19Like, I'm not gonna detour for a bird, right? Until finally, by the end of it, I became a

01:24full-on incel and I had to be like, okay, first of all, you're not even the best looking pigeon

01:31on this block, right? Like...