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  • 4/29/2025

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Fun
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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, Show Me the Money, Plain Brady.
00:08Are you trying to seduce me?
00:10Danny Siegel, I'm an excellent driver.
00:12Colin Moffrey, and it's showtime, Ryan Stiles.
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Carey.
00:19Come on down, let's have some fun.
00:27Oh.
00:28Oh.
00:30That's enough.
00:33Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway,
00:35the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:37Right?
00:39Points are like the buffet at a strip club.
00:42Who cares about the points?
00:44If you've never seen the show before,
00:46what happens is these four fine performers,
00:48they're going to make up everything you see right in front of you.
00:50I give them points.
00:51Just a gag to hold the show together, doesn't mean anything.
00:53And at the end of the show, we pick a winner.
00:57And then at the end of the night,
00:58the winner gets to do a little something special
00:59while the rest of us distract the censor.
01:04Let's get started
01:05with this game called Questions Only.
01:09This is for all four of you, Questions Only.
01:10Danny and Wayne, you're going to start.
01:12And what happens is they can only speak in questions.
01:15That's all they're allowed to do is speak in questions.
01:16If they mess up, the other person takes their place.
01:18And the scene is you're in the produce section
01:20of a supermarket on Singles Night.
01:22In the produce section of a supermarket.
01:25You know, I've always heard about that,
01:26but I've never seen it.
01:29Of a supermarket at Singles Night.
01:30Questions only.
01:31And go ahead.
01:34Could you squeeze this?
01:38Those melons?
01:41Don't you see the mango in my hand?
01:43Have you ever grabbed the banana sideways?
01:55What the hell you do that for?
01:58Didn't you like it?
02:00Can't you tell that I'm on a secret gig here?
02:04Can you help me?
02:08Do I look like I work here?
02:09Does the name tag mean that you do?
02:13Can't you read above it and below it?
02:15It says, lose weight now, ask me how.
02:19Do you mind if I change the subject?
02:23Go!
02:26Can I get a price check on the stud in aisle four?
02:38Would you like paper or plastic?
02:42Why no clothes?
02:43Why should I?
02:46Aren't you a little chilly?
02:47Compared to what?
02:49Would a polar bear be too...
02:51Oh, no.
02:56How many women walk out of here alone on a Friday night?
03:00Oh.
03:04Come here often?
03:06Does it look like I'm a newcomer?
03:08Can you do it right here on the celery?
03:12Sorry?
03:18Stop, stop, stop.
03:20Thank you very much.
03:27Man, I haven't seen each of you do that since, what, last night?
03:30I brought back some memories, let me tell you.
03:37Okay, let's go on to a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles, one of my favorite games.
03:41And what's going to happen is Ryan, Colin, and Wayne, you're going to act out a scene,
03:45but I'm going to make them adopt different styles of film, different styles of theater,
03:48different styles of television while they're acting out.
03:50What I need from the audience is just what I asked for, different styles of TV, different
03:53styles of film, different styles of theater.
03:55Sci-fiction.
03:57Sci-fi.
03:59Porno.
04:00Porno.
04:02It's like B7.
04:03Porno!
04:0870s hippie flick.
04:09I don't know what that is, but we'll...
04:11They do, so it doesn't matter.
04:16Cartoon.
04:17Okay.
04:18That's it, we got enough.
04:19Okay, what we're going to do is, uh, you guys are going to start out as normal,
04:22and I'll bring in the styles after you get started.
04:25Uh...
04:26Oh, it's on this card that I was right in the back of.
04:29Ryan...
04:30Wow, what a week I had.
04:35Ryan and Wayne are two guys in a sauna.
04:38Colin, a mob hitman, finally catches up with them.
04:43So start as normal, and I'll bring in the styles in a second.
04:47Woo-hoo!
04:49I like it steamy.
04:51Oh, this feels great.
04:54Finally, I cut up to you.
04:55I'm a mob hitman.
04:58They call me Jerry the Exposition.
05:02Uh, science fiction.
05:04We have to get away!
05:05Danger!
05:06Danger!
05:07Danger!
05:07Uh, game show.
05:18Danger is the correct answer for $50.
05:25Now you get to choose the way you'd like to die.
05:28Pistol, strangulation, poison, or surprise.
05:31Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
06:01clouds in a space that i don't even know about don't look at me
06:10uh cartoon i don't know about you but i'm getting out of here
06:16be very very quiet
06:34uh porno
06:38i i i can't be that quiet that's an awfully big gun you have
06:44you better know what's the sauna doing to it
07:01thousand points to the man who really knows what goes on in a sauna colin
07:07and minus seven for ryan hey in golf that's good
07:11let's go on to a game called scenes from a hat this is for all four of you scenes from my
07:18all-american hat what we do before the show is we ask the audience to write down things uh
07:22suggestions for scenes to be acted out performers we take the good ones
07:28they're in this hat i'm going to read them out and see how many the performers can act out okay
07:31we're starting with songs that kill the romance
07:38oh baby after we make love
07:41my god your thighs are big
07:55i've got a cigar
07:58all right oh speaking of uh things not to bring into the bathtub
08:14honey this is my grandmother
08:15oh nice bath and some toast
08:26confusing battle cries
08:32hurt you
08:39don't shoot till you see the whites
08:45give me liberty or a bran muffin
09:00get my brown pants
09:16every last one of us will defend the alamo correct what the hell
09:23all righty albums doomed to be flops
09:28oh ja ja big sing the blues
09:36uh least likely to win the 2000 presidential race
09:40i taste like butter but i'm not
09:51okay okay okay uh
09:59the
09:59and where the hell are my brown pants i asked for
10:04the stupidity award show the stupidity award show stupidity
10:12i'd like to accept this award on behalf of the whole cast of beverly hills 90210
10:24i cannot accept this award till the wall that divides germany comes down
10:34inopportune times to laugh hysterically
10:36no dr glickman you're a good gynecologist
10:50i'm sorry i do
10:51but i'll see you
10:55every other commercial we'll be right back with more who's line is in anyway we're after this don't go away
11:04Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
11:08Whose Line Is It Anyway?
11:10The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
11:12Right here on ABC.
11:14Or as I like to call it, the Drew Carey Channel.
11:17Now, let's go to a game called Old Job, New Jobs.
11:20This is a good one.
11:21This is for Colin, Denny, and Ryan.
11:23Colin and Denny, you're going to start making up a scene.
11:25Ryan's going to enter later.
11:26But Ryan can't hide the fact that he used to have a different kind of a job.
11:31Colin and Denny, you're getting married.
11:32And Ryan is the minister, but he used to be a New York cop.
11:38So whenever you're ready, start the scene.
11:44Nervous?
11:45I'm happy.
11:47Are you nervous?
11:49You're sweating like a pig.
11:50Let's change the subject.
11:51I've just never been married before. I'm very nervous.
11:54I've never seen you so sweaty.
11:56Well, get used to it.
11:57Okay.
11:58Freeze!
11:59I just want to remember this moment.
12:02You look so much in love.
12:04Are you ready to proceed?
12:06Yes.
12:06Up against the wall.
12:15You have the right to be married.
12:19Should you give up your right to be married,
12:21should anyone object now, the marriage will be annulled.
12:24Oh, no one will object.
12:25We're very, very much in love.
12:26Who am I talking to you?
12:27Oh, no, sir!
12:29Hey, hey, hey.
12:31That's my future bride.
12:33Your future bride?
12:34Where were you on the night of July 25th?
12:37Yeah, where were you on the night of July 25th?
12:39I was...
12:40That was my birthday, and he never shut up at the restaurant.
12:42Do you take her to be your wife, or don't you take her to be a wife?
12:45Well, yes, of course I do.
12:46You take him to be your husband, or don't you?
12:48Ah, you sweaty fool, I do.
12:50Oh, well, you may now frisk the bride.
13:00All right, let's go over the table and have some donuts.
13:03I'd give you points for all that, but I gave all my points to some girl I met in a bar
13:17last night.
13:20All right, let's go on to a game called Greatest Hits.
13:22This is for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
13:27Laura Hall, and Linda Taylor.
13:32Colin and Ryan are going to be talking to you about the latest compilation album, and
13:35they're going to make up names of songs and styles of songs to try to trip up Wayne, who's
13:39going to try to sing the songs with help of Laura and Linda.
13:41What we need from the audience is a suggestion of something you'd look for in the yellow pages.
13:46Private Eye.
13:47Private Eye.
13:48That's a good one.
13:49Private Eye, good for you.
13:50So, let's hear, whenever you're ready, songs of the Private Eye.
13:56We'll be back to our nature documentary, Hood, The Circumcised Cobra, in just a second.
14:03You know, sometimes there's jobs that the police can't do.
14:09That's where Private Eyes come in handy.
14:11That's so true, Ryan.
14:12They can be very useful.
14:13For instance, Colin, do you sleep in boxer shorts?
14:15Oh, I'll never tell.
14:17Oh, there's many songs about the Private Eye, and we've put together 365 of them on one
14:24CD.
14:26You know, so many artists were clamoring to play on this CD.
14:32Well, usually the ones that were bankrupt.
14:33And that's why we've come up with MC Hammer's newest Private Eye song entitled, Just Do Dustin.
14:47Don't you understand?
14:56Don't you understand?
14:57Tell him, Hammer, don't you understand?
14:59Now to fire me as a private eye, and here's a little fact that you can't deny.
15:03I gotta get in, gotta get into the house, gotta do the inspection.
15:06Every single mouse, a mouse, a dog, a cat, take the prince.
15:09Don't you understand exactly what I think?
15:11Because it's your butt, I'll be busted.
15:13I'll take the potter, then I start dusting.
15:16Too bankrupt.
15:17Too bankrupt for this job.
15:19Hey, I'm too bankrupt.
15:21Too bankrupt for this job.
15:23Oh, gotta dust.
15:25Gotta dust.
15:27Gotta dust.
15:30Oh!
15:30It's Hammer time.
15:43It is.
15:44One of those songs you think's never gonna end.
15:46You know...
15:48There's a lot of hip artists on this CD set, like Hammer, but you know, I prefer the oldies.
15:56Do you?
15:57Yes, I do.
15:58Like that 1950s blues hit, Someone Cut My Nose.
16:02Nah, nah, nah, lord, I sure took a beat.
16:12When my wife found out that I, that I been cheating.
16:17She hired a guy that was really tough.
16:21He broke into my house and he beat me up.
16:25Oh, living with that woman, sure has been hell.
16:31Someone chopped off my nose, I lost my sense of smell.
16:35Is that an orange?
16:36I don't know.
16:39Is that a pie?
16:41Lord, I don't know.
16:43Oh, I said, I suppose.
16:47Oh, I'm a recluse, just like a hobbit.
16:58She chopped off my nose like John Bobby.
17:02Ozzy and Harriet couldn't be prouder.
17:14No.
17:19We have all kinds of great celebrities, like this great hit from Ricky Martin.
17:26Opening the door that's locked up.
17:28Oh, you see, oh, it's just my luck.
17:46I'm trying to see the clients, but, oi, the door's stuck.
17:50What can I do?
17:52Oh, what can I say?
17:54I'm stuck outside, and it's muy caliente.
17:58Oh, come on, come on.
18:00Oh, it's my luck.
18:01I try to turn and turn, but the door is stuck up.
18:05The door is stuck, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
18:07The door is stuck, oh, yeah.
18:09The door is stuck, oh, yeah, oh.
18:11I'm trying to open, oh, no.
18:12I can't find the key, oh, no, no, no.
18:15No, the key, no, no, no, no.
18:16Door is stuck, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:18I can't get in that door.
18:21Oh, that's it.
18:26That's it.
18:28Well, go away and we're right back with more Who's Lying Is It Anyway?
18:37Hi, welcome back to Who's Lying Is It Anyway?
18:39The winner tonight, Denny Siegel.
18:40Denny Siegel.
18:44That's right.
18:45I got a pocket full of cash, and Denny Siegel's a winner.
18:48and the rest of us because they lost have to do a hoedown with me with the
18:52help of Laura Hall on the piano, Laura Hall. Now for the topic of the hoedown, I
18:57need in the audience a suggestion for a group of people you hate.
19:01Game show host, game show host it is, the game show host hoedown, Laura Hall. Go ahead, Laura.
19:09I watched game shows, I watched them all day long. I watch all of them and they have real great themed songs.
19:22But there is something I don't understand with my wife. If they had a game show in South Central LA, you'd be called Run For Your Life.
19:30What did I say?
19:33I hate to tell the story cause myself it might embarrass.
19:37But the other night I went out with the daughter of Chuck Ferris.
19:40When we went to make love, she did something that's wrong.
19:44I took off my pants and she gave me the gong.
19:59I am a game show host, my life's a game you see.
20:02I fill it all with danger, I'm in jeopardy.
20:06It really is quite wonderful, I do it with all my might.
20:10I hang out with prostitutes because the price is right.
20:13I am on a game show competing against a girl.
20:24When I look at her, it sends my heart in a whirl.
20:28To beat her at this game, it would be so heinous.
20:31I answer to this question, it must be...
20:34It must be...
20:35It must be...
20:36It must be...
20:37It must be...
20:38It must be...
20:39It must be...
20:40It must be...
20:41It must be...
20:42It must be...
20:43It must be...
20:44It must be...
20:45It must be...
20:46It must be...
20:47Welcome back to Who's Binders in Anyway?
20:49Uh, tonight we're gonna end the show with Denny and Colin.
20:53Read the credits.
20:54I want you to read the credits as two parents who've had it with their kids.
20:57So, thanks for watching, everybody.
20:58We'll see you next time.
20:59Good night.
21:00Dan Patterson, how many times have I told you no hoedowns?
21:03I'm gonna turn this car around right now!
21:06Hey, Bruce Cowher, that's it!
21:07No, no!
21:08Tom Hark, that's it!
21:09You put that back!
21:10Don't touch your sister!
21:11Oh, Colin Moffrey, I'm gonna give it to you!
21:13I'll see the wall!
21:14I'm warning you!
21:15Oh!
21:16You're going right through your roof!
21:17You know what, Melinda Cody, I'm telling you!
21:19Do you all want to do a hoedown?
21:20Do you all want to do a hoedown?
21:22You are not gonna eat your vegetables!
21:23You're not gonna get any dessert!
21:24I'm not kidding!
21:25Completed Cosma Semilies!

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