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oresinho
  • 5/9/2025

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Fun
Transcript
00:01Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, he's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,
00:07Greg Sherwood.
00:08He stays crunchy, even in milk, Wayne Brady.
00:11He's magically delicious, Colin Moffrey.
00:14And he's got two scoops of raisins in his pants,
00:16Bryan Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, Sue Garrick.
00:19Come on, let's have some fun.
00:23Hello.
00:24Hello. Good evening.
00:27Hello, everybody.
00:29Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything's made up
00:32and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right.
00:34The points don't mean a thing.
00:36If you've never seen the show before,
00:37what happens is these four performers
00:38are gonna come out,
00:39they're gonna make everything up
00:40right off the top of their heads,
00:41all based on suggestions from the audience
00:42and based on what's written on these cards here.
00:44They've never seen the suggestions on these cards before.
00:46They don't know what they are.
00:47And, uh, everything's gonna be made up.
00:50And then I give them points.
00:51I don't know why.
00:52It's just a gag to tie the show together.
00:53It doesn't mean anything.
00:54It's like, you know,
00:55a warning on a pack of cigarettes.
00:57And the winner gets to do a little something special
01:01with me for you.
01:02And what we do is we take that little special something
01:06and sell it on the internet
01:07if you can prove you're over 18 with a credit card.
01:09So let's get started.
01:11Our first game is called Weird Newscasters.
01:13This is for all four of you.
01:15Brad, you're gonna be the anchorman of a show.
01:17And, uh, everybody else is gonna help you out.
01:19Colin, you're gonna be the co-anchor.
01:21You're a 1920s gangster under fire in a getaway car.
01:25Wayne, you're doing the sports.
01:27You are in love with the camera operator.
01:30Boy, it's gonna be so hard to decide.
01:35They're all so good looking, but, you know.
01:37Good luck.
01:38And, Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:40You're trying to keep a leaking dam from bursting,
01:42if you know what I'm saying.
01:44If you know what I mean.
01:48So, uh, Brad, whenever you hear the music,
01:51go ahead and start the news.
01:57Good evening and welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
01:59I'm Clyde Strudelpants.
02:01Well, the heat wave in Antarctica continues
02:05and people are shaving penguins left and right.
02:07We don't know when it's going to stop,
02:09but now this story has stopped
02:11and I must pass over the news desk
02:14to my good friend, Desmond Pettibone III.
02:19Ain't saying nothing, see?
02:21Nothing at all.
02:23Get him, the cops!
02:26You'll never take me, you lousy coppers!
02:37Back to you, you dirty, lousy punk.
02:43Thank you for that scintillating report.
02:47Well, it's been an exciting day in sports,
02:49so let's find out all the scores with hardwood paneling.
02:51Hardwood?
02:56Folks, it's been a great day in sports,
03:01and, um, if I say so, I look great myself
03:06because someone knows my good side.
03:21So, the Raiders are in the news.
03:23Who are you looking at?
03:29Who are you looking at?
03:32You keep that camera on me.
03:34No, no, no, no, no.
03:35You get this right.
03:37You love me, I love you.
03:39Oh, oh, really?
03:40I...
03:42I could go out and find myself a handheld camera operator.
03:46I don't need you!
03:48Let me tell you something, alright?
03:49I've been doing the sports forecast for 15 years!
03:52I'm the best that never happened to you!
03:54You know where you were before you met me?
03:56You were doing little infomercials
03:58on Santa Monica Beach
03:59with a fat dude wearing blue blockers!
04:02Don't show you something!
04:04Don't hide from...
04:14Don't hide from...
04:15This just in.
04:31Tomorrow we will have a new sportscaster.
04:34And now I think we better find out what's going on in the weather
04:37because it is hot as blazes out there.
04:38So let's check the weather desk with Harry Showerdrain.
04:41Harry?
04:42Hello!
04:44Welcome and a hi-de-ho and a hi-de-hi-ho to you!
04:47Hello to all my friends out there in Pomona,
04:48so you have to live there.
04:50Well, we've got some beautiful...
04:52Some beautiful weather in store for the weekend.
04:54We've got sun popping up all over the place that you can...
04:56Oh!
04:57Oh, my...
04:59Well...
05:00Problem there.
05:01But the sun will keep going to the end of the weekend.
05:02Oh, there we go.
05:03Sun, sun, sun.
05:06All through the...
05:16Oh, no!
05:17She's gonna blow!
05:19She's gonna blow!
05:22Ah!
05:33This just in, tomorrow we'll have another weatherman as well.
05:50That's all the time we have for the 6 o'clock news.
05:52Good night.
05:53Thank you very much.
05:55Thank you very much.
05:57Thank you very much.
06:02Hey, a thousand union points to Larry the camera operator.
06:05Never saw the guy move.
06:08Man.
06:10I never saw a union guy move so fast.
06:14Man!
06:16It was like...
06:17It was like someone called lunch or something, man.
06:18You were just...
06:21Excellent.
06:25Let's go on to a game called Duet.
06:27For Brad and Wayne.
06:28Brad and Wayne.
06:29With the help of Laura Hall on piano.
06:30Linda Taylor on guitar.
06:35Let me come over to you.
06:37What's your name?
06:39Michelle.
06:40What do you do for a living, Michelle?
06:41I'm a writer-slash-mom.
06:43A writer-slash-mom.
06:45That's okay.
06:46Come on down here.
06:47I'm gonna go up again for Michelle.
06:50Good to go up.
06:51John, say how to Wayne and Brad.
06:53Michelle's a writer-mom.
06:57She's a mom who likes to write.
06:58Her name is Michelle.
06:59You're gonna sing a song to her like the Gypsy Kings.
07:03If you're not familiar with the Gypsy Kings,
07:04we're big fans of them.
07:05It's kind of like Spanish gypsy music.
07:07That's a good way to put it.
07:08Let's go sing a Gypsy Kings type song to Michelle,
07:10who's a mom and a writer.
07:12My darling, just listen to me.
07:21I'm a believer.
07:23Michelle is an overachiever.
07:26I look at you, and I think that you're the bomb.
07:30Not one job, two.
07:31You're a writer-slash-mom.
07:32Whoo!
07:33Oh, Michelle.
07:34You are a sexy girl to me.
07:36And I would like to spend with you eternity.
07:37Whoo-hoo!
07:38And I would like to, with you, do something so rash.
07:40Cause you are a writer mom with a slash.
07:41With a slash!
07:42With a slash!
07:43With a slash!
07:44She's a writer mom with a slash!
07:46With a slash!
07:47Eternity I would like to with you do something so rash because you are a writer mom with a slash
08:03With a
08:17I wish my mom had been a writer
08:35And i'll give you ten that nine thousand points well thousand points for taxes
08:42Let's go on to a game called news flash this is for brad ryan and colin ryan and brad are two anchors in
08:50The studio and colin is a field reporter out the field and as you can see he's in front of a screen
08:55They would call it a green screen you can't see and turn around look at that you can't see anything
08:58That's on there at all it's just green to him it's always going to look green to him
09:01But we can put an image on the screen screen that you can see at home, but he can't see all
09:05He'll see is green and he has to try to guess what's going on behind him based on hints that brad and ryan will eventually give him
09:11So ryan and brad off the ryan and brad the studio so the elephant says you should see the monkey
09:17We interrupt this program for a special news
09:21That's right uh we have uh colin mockery out in the field at the site of a very important goings-on uh colin
09:27Could you please tell us what is in fact going on well
09:34As they say a picture is worth a thousand words and this has to be worth at least a million
09:41Colin are you taking any sort of safety precautions
09:44Yes, I painted all my undershirts with lead paint
09:50That may offer me a little bit of protection
09:53You seem to be in over your head colin. I think uh you should watch out
09:57Thanks for the advice brad. I will certainly watch
10:00I'm sorry it's very hard for me to remain professional colin i'm i'm fearing for the cameraman's life is gill okay
10:25Who the hell cares i'm the on-camera talent
10:32I think he'll be fine he's union
10:34We're worried about you but uh is there any type of debate going on there
10:47I don't think so there was debate earlier something about an elephant and monkey joke
10:53But now it seems to have just stopped colin it looks like things should be getting out of control
10:59Has anybody called the carps no not at all i tell you
11:04i hope this is covered by my insurance i think it's an act of cod
11:10maybe
11:12whoa
11:15now earlier colin you
11:17okay colin can you guess where you are i'm under water with vicious fish
11:34hey don't go away we'll be right back with more who's liners and anyway right here we are
11:47welcome back to who's liners and anyway the show where everything's made up in the points
11:50don't matter that right the points don't matter it's like the talent portion of a beauty contest
11:57who cares now let's play a game called party quirks this is for all four of you uh brad you're
12:01going to be hosting a party and i want you to come over here so you can't see the cards because
12:05you have to guess what's on the cards nobody's ever seen these cards before and wayne colin or
12:09ryan they're going to be coming in as guests to the party we've given them each a strange identity
12:12or something to do and brad has to guess what they are so i'll bring them in one at a time
12:16with the doorbell brad whenever you're ready start the party someone scratched my abba albums
12:21hey welcome to the party hey dude how you doing hey this is some spread you have try the cheese dip
12:33it's fresh hey some party got here i'll be right back hey how you doing brad what's up hey nice
12:46friends good to see you hello hi uh here's your drink oh thank you enjoy it
12:55uh would you like some nuts uh oh i have plenty of nuts right over here on the tray all right oh take
12:59a load off relax enjoy some snacks all right oh you better hi welcome to the party welcome to the party
13:15welcome to the party
13:19have you met shields and yarnell
13:29get away get away get away get away stop bringing my doorbell
13:37you need some help you need to you need to
13:45man man i think i'm gonna go to brad's house for a party
14:01are you rerun from what's happening no
14:04rerun something he keeps rewinding back and forth
14:07look look you shouldn't serve drinks here when there are all those thirsty people on the titanic
14:19oh that's close enough that's close enough
14:21good boy
14:35i forgot to put a tag on him come on come on come on that's a good boy that's a good boy that's a what
14:42what did you do on the floor what did you do come here what did you do what did you do bad boy bad boy
14:59thank you very much he's a dog yeah he's a metal block
15:03and was anybody else turned on by the thought of brad sherwood grabbing you by the scruff of the neck and yelling bad boy bad boy
15:13true true oh sorry
15:16talking in my sleep excuse me you always talk in your sleep
15:20uh let's go on to a game called scenes from a hat this is for everybody scenes from a hat
15:30and i have a little hat here and what we do before the show is we ask the audience to write some
15:33suggestions down for us and uh we do we take some of these suggestions the good ones and we put them
15:37in a hat with some suggestions of our own and i'm going to read them out and see how many they can perform
15:42uh let's start out with rejected theme songs oh geez rejected theme songs from the movie titanic
15:52i love the taste of salt water filling my lungs
16:00corpses bobbing in the sea
16:03uh presidential slogans that will not get you elected
16:16i love booty
16:25i got this tattoo in da-nang
16:27i stand today at this podium oh
16:39i'm jesse jackson
16:48okay uh losing science fair projects
16:51some people say that rodents aren't flammable well
17:08all right celebrity endorsements doomed to fail
17:13i'm betty davis for anti-aging cream
17:25i'm mike tyson for encyclopedia britannica
17:35i forgot what the hell i was selling
17:37hi i'm colin mockery for rogaine
17:47okay
17:50drill sergeant pickup lines drill sergeant pickup line
17:57boy you ever touch the rifle
17:59i just want to stand here and stare at my privates
18:09i just want to stand here and stare at my privates
18:13well we're going to go see the most part we'll be right back with more who's line is it anyway
18:27hey welcome back to who's line is it anyway
18:29tonight's winner wayne brady wayne brady's going to be the one
18:35because wayne is the winner the rest of us are going to be punished by having to do our favorite game
18:40hoedown yeah
18:45so what we need from the audience is a suggestion of a vice something you think is a vice
18:52drinking we'll do the drinking the hoedown so whenever you're ready the drinking hold out of
18:57course laura hall on the piano is going to take us away go ahead
18:59i can't find my car keys because i'm so full of booze i smell just like vodka i just threw up on my
19:15shoes i don't even know where i put my pants so i'm just gonna wear a lampshade and run around and
19:22dance
19:30well making up songs in a hoedown puts me to the test and to tell you really frankly i'm not at my best
19:38i do better i could really think but abc well they don't let me drink
19:56the other day while playing golf i had a lot to drink as i reached the first tee i could barely
20:03think i hit the ball really hard the guy is barely alive which just goes to prove if you drink don't
20:10drive
20:19i got naked in a bar i took off all my clothes how i ever got that drunk nobody knows i passed out
20:26naked on the bar i only had a sip the waitress came to clean up and i said keep the tip
20:33thank you very much we'll be right back with more who's lines in any way after this don't go anywhere
20:50hey welcome back to who's line is it anyway uh tonight to read the credits is brad and ryan and
20:56brad and ryan are going to read the credits as deep south hog collars calling in your pigs
21:01so good night everybody and thanks for watching we'll see you next time
21:14we'll see you next time
21:28Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
21:30Me, me, me, me!
21:32Whoo!
21:33Me, me, me!
21:35Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!