- 4/26/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to
00:03Whose Line Is It Anyway? on tonight's show.
00:05Is it hot in here, or is it you?
00:07Greg Fruits, you with all those curves,
00:09and me with no bricks.
00:11Wayne Brady, do you have any Canadian in you?
00:13Colin Macri, and is that a gun in your pocket,
00:16and are you just happy to see Ryan Stiles?
00:19I'm your host, Drew Carey, $1.5.
00:21Thanks, everybody.
00:34Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:36The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:37That's right, the points don't matter,
00:39just like the first four questions on Millionaire.
00:43Who cares about the points?
00:44It's not even a game show.
00:45So we're going to get started.
00:46Let's play a game called Sound Effects.
00:47This is for Colin and Ryan.
00:49Colin, you're going to improvise the scene,
00:50and he has to respond to sound effects being made by Ryan.
00:53There's your spit-proof...
00:55I got my own this year.
00:55That's right.
00:56That's good.
00:56Because he spits all over it.
00:58I refuse to use the same microphone.
01:00Colin, you're a novice gladiator.
01:06Gladiator, by the way,
01:06was one of the most historically inaccurate movies ever made.
01:09Making his preparations before entering the Coliseum,
01:12trying to win his freedom.
01:13Like they always did.
01:15So go ahead.
01:20Gratul.
01:24Oh!
01:28Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du.
01:31Du-du-du-du-du...
01:32Ohh!
01:41Where are you?
01:42The
01:49world
01:59Da, da, da, da, da, da, da!
02:29Oh
02:59Oh, God!
03:03Go, go, go, go...
03:06Da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum, da-da-da...
03:29that was some whistle
03:45thousand points for the whistle man that was hilarious
03:54now we're going to a game called song styles it's for wayne with
03:58laura hall and linda taylor on piano guitar
04:05now you don't know what these chairs are all about
04:07put the chairs out
04:08uh... what's going to happen is uh... we're going to get a name of a household
04:11object from the audience give me a household object
04:17vacuum cleaner that sounds great vacuum cleaner
04:19so uh... you're going to sing a song like a like you're in a german cabaret about
04:23a vacuum cleaner
04:25and uh... greg colin and ryan are going to be your cabaret backup girls
04:32come down here cabaret backup girls
04:40there you go
04:43so whenever you're ready let's hear the cabaret song about vacuum cleaners
04:47welcome in
04:54und daumen und heres
04:56und dies ist und mein living room
05:00it was in dirty dirty dirty
05:07dirty
05:12how would i und cleaning the floor i don't know i don't know
05:19where would the dirt
05:22where would the dirt
05:23where would it go
05:24where would it go
05:26i'm needing something inside of my life
05:31to take away this dirt
05:34from a poor housewife
05:36or when i did not have a vacuum
05:39i'd be all the losers
05:41but now i am so happy
05:43i'm calling mister hoover
05:45but now you see i like it
05:48my vacuum is my friend
05:50so now
05:51everybody
05:52i spank on his way and
05:54oh my hoover
05:55i own his luck
05:58because my hoover is my best friend
06:01it sucks
06:02this is the job
06:05i will not stretch
06:07it has five of those things
06:09on the end the touch
06:11oh the hoover
06:12my girls i'm hoover
06:14and then i put it on the ground at least my sucker
06:18and then i go and take the dirt
06:20and all of it i hurt
06:22oh
06:23oh yes my vacuum cleaner
06:26my vacuum
06:29my vacuum cleaner
06:34i'll give you ten thousand points each if you can find me a brain scrubber
06:55that'll get that tongue wagon thing out of my head
07:02so i can sleep tonight
07:05you're about a game too late i'm sorry i can't help you
07:08now he can whistle
07:11good for you
07:16okay we're moving on
07:18moving on
07:19moving on
07:21moving on
07:22moving on to a game called scenes from a hat
07:23this is for uh all four of you
07:24greg and wayne
07:25i want you to take your position
07:28of course before the show we ask the audience to write down different things
07:31one of the things i write down is things they like to see them these guys act out
07:34we put them on these little pieces of paper
07:35and they're just trying to act out as many as they can
07:37in the time we have
07:38starting with rejected state songs
07:40come to florida and die
07:47come to florida and die
07:53whores and gamblin
07:56whores and gamblin at the battle
07:59it's like i'm moving into the data
08:07then
08:10canada the upside
08:17come to hell
08:23So, how many upsides to Canada?
08:27Self-help titles that didn't sell well.
08:33Learn to whistle on cue.
08:42Bad things to say when stopped by the police.
08:47Dude!
08:49It's okay. I'm from Canada.
08:53Yes, sir. I'll have a rum and coke.
09:05Of course it's a dead body. I'm in the diamond lane.
09:21Where's the rest of the village people?
09:23No!
09:33Things that aren't sexy, done in a sexy way.
09:36Things that are not sexy, done in a sexy way.
09:38It's so mingin' to the same way.
09:39It's so mingin' to be how you're all scared.
09:40It's so mingin' to the same way.
09:41It's so mingin' to be me.
09:41I can't go to the same way.
09:42OYAH
10:19Rejected sayings on candy heart valentines.
10:26I've always faked it.
10:37Ways you can describe your motorcycle, but not your girlfriend.
10:43Just give it a kick and it starts right up.
10:49It's small, but it makes a hell of a noise.
10:56It's okay if you don't mind the bugs in your teeth.
10:58If you really push up tight, you can get three people on it.
11:14Sure you can ride her. Everyone else has.
11:20Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
11:22We're going to see a commercial right now.
11:26We're going to see a commercial right now.
11:28We'll be right back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway?
11:38Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
11:40The show where everything's made up and parts don't matter.
11:42I'm Drew Carey, or as I'm known in the world of X-rated poetry,
11:45the man from Nantucket.
11:48Thank you. Thank you.
11:54Let's go on to a game called Improbable Mission.
11:57Colin and Ryan are secret agents,
11:59and they're going to be carrying out an everyday activity,
12:01and their instructions will be coming from Greg.
12:04Here, I'll give you my non-spit-on microphone.
12:06Thanks, Mr. Carey.
12:07What I need from the audience is a mundane everyday activity.
12:12Cooking. Do it cooking.
12:14All right?
12:15Cooking.
12:16Yeah, sure.
12:17Your mission is cooking. Go ahead.
12:20Morning, gentlemen.
12:21Morning.
12:22How are you today?
12:23Not bad.
12:24Really?
12:25You should see someone about that.
12:27Is there a mission, or...?
12:29There's a mission of the utmost importance, gentlemen.
12:32The Grand Poobah of Snakatoba,
12:34a small Canadian province, is coming down.
12:39He wants to have breakfast,
12:40and he's sick of Canadian bacon.
12:41Your mission, if you decide to accept it,
12:43is to cook him breakfast before he gets here,
12:45in the next 15 minutes.
12:47If you, or any of your team,
12:48or caught or killed,
12:49I don't want to know your butt.
12:50You're sad losers.
12:52This tape will self-destruct...
12:54Now! Boom!
12:55Let's go.
12:59Let's get to it, my friend.
13:01Let's get to it!
13:02Man, we're out of eggs.
13:04Wait!
13:05I was implanted with some chicken DNA.
13:07What?
13:08Give me a second.
13:15It's coming! It's coming!
13:16It's a huge one!
13:18It was really good DNA.
13:20Quick, get out the pan!
13:22We don't have any pans.
13:23No pans?
13:24Wait a minute.
13:25How hot is it out today?
13:26Why, it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.
13:29We can't go outside to do it.
13:30Stick your head out the window!
13:33Just do it!
13:38Come back in!
13:40Good!
13:42It's frying!
13:44Now, help me out,
13:45but keep your head perfectly still!
13:47Right.
13:48Man, we've got nothing to go with that.
13:50Let me check.
13:51You're right!
13:57What goes with eggs?
13:58What goes with eggs?
13:59I'm falling apart!
14:00Bacon!
14:01We need bacon.
14:02You weren't a pig at one time, were ya?
14:08Slice.
14:10Good!
14:14There isn't room for hash browns!
14:15All right.
14:16We'll just do the toast.
14:17We've got bread, luckily.
14:19Hard as rock.
14:20Hmm.
14:21Your microwave butt!
14:22What?
14:23Your microwave butt!
14:25Do me a favor!
14:31What?
14:32Do me a favor.
14:33Yeah.
14:34Set it on light.
14:35Okay.
14:37It's ready!
14:40All right, the eggs are done as well.
14:41Nothing like butt-toasted head eggs.
14:46Wait!
14:47Huh!
14:48We need a little vase with a rose in it.
14:49You're crazy!
14:50That's not breakfast!
14:51Hey!
14:52He's the great Poobah of Knack and Muffet!
14:54He was...
14:55Snack-a-toe-bop!
14:56Oh, it's so easy!
14:57I was never good at geography!
14:59Well, what are we getting those for our vays?
15:00We haven't got any fancy things around here!
15:03If only we had a cat!
15:07Oh!
15:08This kind of beans!
15:09It's close to a cat!
15:12Are you saying open it up?
15:13Sure!
15:14Okay!
15:15Do I have to do everything around here?
15:16I don't want to waste the beans and...
15:20Okay!
15:21Wait!
15:22We need flowers!
15:24That's all right!
15:25I'll use my origami!
15:26Origami?
15:27Is that some sort of fancy...
15:28It's beautiful!
15:29Isn't it?
15:31Dude, it's all ready!
15:32My God!
15:33What?
15:34There's nothing to drink!
15:35My God, you weren't...
15:36No!
15:37I had no coffee DNA anywhere in me!
15:41I'm not talking coffee, Mr. Moo!
15:43Mr. Moo!
15:59I don't know about you, but I saw all I wanted to see!
16:02Pretty quick, I'm having pleasure!
16:03Mr. Moo!
16:04That's right!
16:05Mr. Moo!
16:07Wow!
16:08We got a new nickname for Colin already!
16:09I'm so happy!
16:11Colin Mookrey!
16:12Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:19Colin Mookrey!
16:21Oh, man!
16:22That's funny!
16:23He said he was sick of the ball jokes!
16:24Yeah!
16:25Fine, Colin Mookrey!
16:26No more ball jokes!
16:27So, hey, 500 points a piece!
16:31Hey!
16:33A thousand because you whistled!
16:36Let's go on to a game called Improbable Mission!
16:39Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:41Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:42Ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:43Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:48Let's move on to the game called Three Headed Broadway Stars.
16:51This is for Wayne, Ryan, and Colin.
16:53Wayne, Ryan, and Colin, come up here.
16:54Three Headed Broadway Stars.
16:55Three Headed Broadway Stars.
16:57And what's happening is they're gonna be a strange, three-headed Broadway star,
17:00and they're gonna sing a Broadway song for you, one word at a time,
17:04with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
17:06Oh!
17:07And, uh...
17:10What I need from, uh, let's do that far section of the audience,
17:13uh, a name of an unlikely musical.
17:14Whistler's Mother!
17:16Whistler's Mother.
17:17It's like he's been waiting to shout that all night, huh?
17:20Whistler's Mother.
17:21So the Broadway musical is Whistler's Mother, and, uh,
17:23from this section of the audience, uh, the, uh,
17:24hit love song from Whistler's Mother.
17:27What's the name of that?
17:28Whistler up!
17:29Whistler up!
17:30Whistler up!
17:31Whistler on Q!
17:32Whistler on Q!
17:35Whistle on Q!
17:36Whistler on Q!
17:37From the hit Broadway musical...
17:38Whistler's Mother.
17:39Take it away whenever you're ready.
17:42There's a woman who's there
17:53She is beautiful
17:59With her long hair and smile
18:04Her whistling drives me wild
18:09She says
18:16She does
18:22I have two arms
18:26She does not
18:28I love her arms
18:32She loves clothes
18:39Again
18:44Whistling
18:47Mother
18:50Okay, we're going to see a commercial. Come back. Find out who the winner is. Who's riding the winner?
18:58Don't go away
18:59Hey, welcome back to Who's riding the winner?
19:05Tonight's winner is Fred Crooks. Fred Crooks is the winner
19:08So
19:10We decided that he gets to sit there and relax the rest of us are going to do a game called props
19:15It's a really fun game. Ryan and I will take one set of props
19:19This is for Ryan and myself
19:22And we have to go back and forth and come up with as many ideas for these props as we can starting with you guys
19:31Oh
19:32Yeah, it's a little big, but it makes it easier hitting the bull eye
19:36Bullseye
19:38Well, maybe you don't wear bell bottoms anymore
19:45I'm the old lady smurf
19:49I have news, Princess Leia
19:56The little people have landed
20:03So then I said oh, I I can't believe the way she's dressed
20:09Oh, and then she came over and I guess I can't believe it which came out like that
20:12Bishop jump queen
20:16I'm worried about this mole
20:27Shh, here he comes
20:31That's a special treat for Ryan tonight because he had so much trouble. Well the credits roll
20:51We're gonna have the other guys give him some whistling lessons. Hope you don't mind
20:53So Ryan here's some whistling lessons free for you from the rest of us. Have a good night everybody. Thanks for watching
21:01Get your cheeks together
21:13And it looks like you did
21:15Oh
21:16Ta da
21:18Put it on
21:19Push
21:21Push
21:23Push
21:24Is it that bad?
21:25Yeah
21:26Turn left
21:26Turn left
21:27Right
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