- 4/28/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, America, and welcome to
00:04Whose Wine Is It Anyway?
00:05At tonight's show, for deep-down cleansing,
00:08Wayne Brady doesn't leave streaks,
00:11chip-bestin, just spray-and-go,
00:13Colin Mochrie, and leaves the whole house
00:16smelling fresh, Ryan Stiles!
00:18I'm your host, Zucari, and now let's have some fun.
00:30Hello, hello. Welcome to Whose Lines Is It Anyway?
00:33The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:35That's right, the points are like a Starbucks
00:36across the street from a Starbucks.
00:39I got all kinds of jokes like that, man,
00:41but you don't want to hear me.
00:44Now, let's get it started, see how it goes.
00:46Its first game is called Superheroes.
00:48This is for all four of you.
00:49Oh, Colin, Colin, you're going to start.
00:51And Ryan, Chip, and Wayne will join him,
00:53and each new superhero will name the next superhero coming in.
00:56And what I need first is from the audience
00:57is the name of an unlikely superhero to start things off.
01:00Stop shouting, I can't take it.
01:08What did you say?
01:10Dog catcher boy.
01:14Man, what kind of crisis will dog catcher boy be dealing with?
01:18Pit bulls!
01:21There's pit bulls running loose all over the world.
01:25What are you going to do?
01:27Oh, I don't know.
01:30Come on.
01:34Come on.
01:36Come on, you little shih tzu.
01:37Come on.
01:37Come on.
01:37What's this on the crisis monitor?
01:54Pit bulls!
01:55All over the country!
01:57I hope my super friends get here soon!
01:59Sorry I'm late.
02:00I couldn't get a cab.
02:01Cabby!
02:02Cabby!
02:02Nothing was working.
02:04Thank goodness you're here, body parts constantly falling asleep, boy.
02:11Look!
02:12What?
02:21Look!
02:22Pit bulls!
02:22That's what I'm saying.
02:24Pit bulls!
02:26Oh, my God.
02:27We need help.
02:28We need much help.
02:30Sorry I'm late.
02:31Captain Cossack!
02:33Hey!
02:34No, no, no, no.
02:34I'll do it when I can, but we need more help.
02:45Sorry I'm late.
02:46Look, everyone.
02:47It's Tybo Kid.
02:58Sorry I'm late.
02:59All we have to do is we have to teach each of these pit bulls responsibility through Tybo.
03:09That's stinking!
03:20I can't help much, but I'll go drink a lot of vodka.
03:23All right.
03:26Are my lips moving?
03:27Yeah.
03:29Another crisis averted!
03:43Hey, uh, I kind of like this that the commissioner put up when he wants body parts falling asleep
03:50guy.
03:54That's what I want to know.
03:57A thousand points apiece.
03:58Uh, next game we're going to do is, uh, called Duet for Chip and Wayne with the help of Laura
04:03Hall, Lynn Taylor, and Matilius.
04:05Would you like to be on television?
04:17What's your name?
04:19Phyllis.
04:19Phyllis?
04:20What do you do for a living, Phyllis?
04:21I'm not working.
04:22Like, I'm a housewife.
04:23She's a housewife.
04:24Yeah.
04:24Where are you from?
04:25Niagara Falls.
04:25Niagara Falls.
04:26Niagara Falls.
04:27Housewife from Niagara Falls.
04:27Come on down here, Phyllis.
04:34This is Phyllis.
04:41There you go.
04:42Let's see.
04:43You're not going to hurt.
04:44Nice to meet you, Phyllis.
04:46Phyllis, you're in for a treat.
04:47Because these guys are going to sing to you as the Bee Gees.
04:53The Bee Gees.
04:54The Bee Gees.
04:55The Bee Gees were a hit rock group when you were 70.
04:56In the 70s.
05:06Take it away, everybody.
05:07Let's hear you sing it.
05:08Okay.
05:29Phyllis.
05:31Yeah.
05:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:34Here's something I've got to tell you, Phyllis
05:41You give me shiver and shivers, ooh, tickle and
05:47You know I get excited whenever you call
05:52You and me, Phyllis, going over that falls
05:56We'll get in a barrel, I hope it don't kill us
05:59Me, me and Phyllis
06:04Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
06:34Oh, come on, we're walking back.
06:45Thank you so much.
06:46Oh, I just loved it, dude.
06:47That was fantastic.
06:48Oh, man.
06:49Oh, man.
06:59Phyllis, that was great.
07:00Oh, that was just great.
07:03I have the best job in the world.
07:04Let's go on to a game.
07:05Oh, I love this game.
07:06It's called Scenes from a Hat.
07:10And what happens is, before the show,
07:11we ask the audience to write some things down
07:13that they'd like to see the performers do,
07:14and we pick the good ones, put them in a hat,
07:16and we're gonna see how many they can do right now.
07:17I'm gonna draw them out of the hat at random.
07:19Here we go.
07:20Pick up lines that are doomed to fail.
07:25Hey, I've got cable.
07:27Once the itching stops, I'll be ready for lovin', baby.
07:36I play Lewis on The Drew Carey Show.
07:44Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
07:50Ah!
07:50Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
07:52Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
07:56Things to say that will always start a fight.
08:01Guys want to fight?
08:03Guys want to fight
08:12Hey Clinton, what's with the fat bruh
08:19The shortest book ever written
08:25British dentistry
08:33The life and times of Gary Coleman
08:41Drew Carey's acting tips
08:51You came to acting tips, you came to acting tips
08:55See? Yeah
08:59I hope you like the inside of your trailer
09:04Disturbing sayings found on your grandmother's crocheted throw pillows
09:12I did it with your grandfather right here
09:19What they really talk about in football huddles
09:21He's such a b****, he scratched my eyes out
09:25I know
09:31Why do you wear contacts in the first place?
09:33Why do you wear contacts in the first place?
09:35I don't know
09:43Okay, let's move along
09:44Let's move along
09:46Wow
09:47The newspaper headline you'd most like to see
09:52Balding men best lovers in the world
09:54Oh, we're gonna see commercial
09:55We'll be right back with more
09:56Who's line is it anyway?
09:57Let's do this
09:58Stuck away!
10:01Welcome back
10:02Welcome back
10:12Welcome back in the second half of Who's line is it anyway?
10:15The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter
10:16I guess friends isn't very good tonight
10:19Let's continue on the show
10:21Oh, we got a game here called Who's line?
10:22Can you believe it?
10:23It's for Colin and Ryan
10:25What happens is we have the audience write down random lines before the show
10:28And we pick good ones and we give them to Colin and Ryan
10:31And stuff them in your pocket so you can't see them
10:33Because they're gonna have to insert these lines as they make up the scene
10:38The scene is Colin as a distraught maid Marion who tells Robin Hood, that's Ryan
10:43That she can't take the strain of their relationship anymore
10:46And put in the lines as you go and we're ready to start
10:49Swiddly diddly dick
10:51Oh, swiddly diddly don't
10:55By Marion, whatever's wrong
10:57Whatever's wrong?
10:59You know, it's just you and your merry men
11:00You come in here, I cook for all of you and then you run off
11:03Well, I've got to steal from the rich and give to the bull
11:05And give to the bull
11:08Look, when we started this relationship I never promised you anything
11:13As a matter of fact, I remember distinctly saying
11:16What time do the girls get here?
11:20I should have taken an indication
11:22But you're my favorite girl, you know that
11:24I want to be the only one
11:26And I don't want us living in the forest
11:28I'm Robin Hood, I can't just narrow it down to one woman
11:31You listen to what I'm about to say to you
11:33And you listen good, mister
11:36Let's get naked and wrestle
11:46Oh, wait
11:47Now this won't work
11:53Look, Marion
11:55This is foolish
11:56If you want to get married, I'll marry you
11:58Well, the friar can do it for us back at the place where we live in the woods
12:02Really? Do you mean it, Robin?
12:03I do
12:04Can we write our own vows?
12:06I've already done it, my dear
12:07Do tell
12:08As we walk up to the friar
12:09I'll look in your eyes and say
12:11Marion, I love you so much
12:14There's more than one way to stuff a turkey
12:19And I'm putting the giblets on your plate
12:26I love when you talk poultry
12:31What is it?
12:33Something's bothering you
12:35You could tell by my face
12:37Not only that, but you've dropped your accent
12:42Living in the woods will do that
12:44Look out there, all that could be ours, Marion
12:47Oh, but don't you see we're living in a fool's paradise
12:50What?
12:51When my mother died, she told me to search for happiness and
12:55Stand back, this baby's gonna blow
12:58Then she just blew up
13:04A thousand points to Ryan, because I've always wanted to tell him
13:09Your mother is the best stripper in Vegas
13:13Bought her a house
13:14That's right
13:17Let's play a game called Greatest Hits
13:19This is for all four of you
13:20With help of Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Anna Veselius
13:22I mean, everybody
13:23Everybody
13:26Colin and Ryan are gonna be TV voiceover guys
13:29Talking about the latest compilation album
13:30And Wayne and Chip
13:31Are gonna try to sing songs that they make up
13:34And what I need from the audience
13:35Is something you look for in the Yellow Pages
13:38Women
13:40Women, yes
13:41Women, got it
13:42The songs of women
13:43Women, yes
13:44So, you name your album is Songs of Women
13:47Go ahead and go
13:49We'll be right back to our Fox premiere of Alien Oddities
13:54With E.T. the Extra Testicle in just a second
13:57But first, have we got an offer for you
13:59For as long as men have walked this planet
14:04Women have walked it too
14:07And we've compiled over 78 songs on one CD
14:12All about women
14:13I don't know about you, Colin
14:14I love them
14:15I love them
14:16More
14:19I'm not insecure about my sexual identity
14:21I love women
14:33Sleep
14:34You won't forget I ever said that
14:36You won't forget I ever said that
14:37I'm weak
14:40For as long as men have walked this planet
14:43Women have walked it with them
14:46We've compiled over 78 songs on one CD
14:50All about women
14:51I don't know about you, but I love them
14:52Yeah, me too
14:53I don't think there's a better song than that 1984 police hit
15:03Hey, what's that?
15:04I give her liposuction
15:19Cause she was kinda fat
15:24Then something went down through my tube
15:28I said, Lord, what is that?
15:30What is that? I don't know
15:32E-o-oh, no
15:34I don't know
15:35E-o-oh, no, no
15:37I don't know
15:38What is that?
15:38What is that?
15:40What is that?
15:41What is that?
15:42That's not that
15:43No, no, no
15:43What is that?
15:44I don't know
15:45I don't know
15:46T-R-A
15:48I don't know
15:48No, no
15:49What is that?
15:50That, that, that, that, that
15:52Amazing
15:56Hey, Ryan
15:57Huh?
15:57If Sting retires
15:58Will he change his name to Stung?
15:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
16:09I don't think there's a better song that tells me what women are all about.
16:16Sleep.
16:18When you awake, you will have great diction.
16:20Awake.
16:22Then that Louis Jourdan song.
16:26She's all mine.
16:29If you touch my woman, I'm gonna knock you flat
16:42Oh, don't even look at her behind
16:46You better believe it
16:48Yes, that chick is mine
16:50Yeah, yeah
16:51Well, I go crazy when she looks out of a fella
16:55That's right, baby, you know I can get so jealous
16:59Yeah
17:00Oh, that girl, she's sweet, she's fine
17:02Don't look at her, that girl is mine
17:04She's mine
17:04She's mine
17:05She's mine
17:06She's mine
17:07She's mine
17:08She's mine
17:09She's mine
17:09She's mine, mine, mine, mine
17:12She's mine
17:13Chicken
17:20Damn
17:22You know, one of my favorite styles is zydeco
17:26Because it starts with a Z and ends with a vowel
17:28But that's just me
17:30Stung
17:34And one of my favorite zydeco hits, of course, is that
17:42Your feet are just gonna start tapping
17:44Hot, hot fever, cold, cold chills
17:52Hot, hot, hot shoes
18:01Ha, ha, ha
18:13Hot, hot jeans
18:15Hot, hop, hot shoes
18:16Hot, hop, ha, ha
18:18All right, we'll be right back to our Who's Viners and Anyway?
18:24We'll find out who the winner is.
18:25Let's go away.
18:31Welcome back to Who's Viners and Anyway?
18:33Tonight's winners, Wayne and Ryan.
18:35Wayne and Ryan are the winners.
18:36And they're gonna do a little game with me called
18:38Three-Headed Broadway Star.
18:39And what's gonna happen is we're gonna pretend to be
18:41a, uh, three-headed Broadway star.
18:43We're gonna stand right like this.
18:44And, uh, we're gonna make up a song one word at a time
18:47from Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
18:48Laura Hall and Linda Taylor are gonna help us out.
18:52What I need from, uh, the audience
18:54is a name of an unlikely Broadway musical.
18:57Why am I in the toilet?
18:58No.
18:59Killer Whale.
19:00More of a comment.
19:01Killer Whale.
19:02Killer Whale is the name of the musical.
19:04And what's the, uh, name of the hit love song from Killer Whale?
19:08Don't touch my blowhole.
19:10Don't touch my blowhole from the hit love song
19:12from the Broadway musical.
19:14Something about a whale, okay?
19:16Yeah.
19:17Killer Whale.
19:18And here we go.
19:19One word at a time.
19:21I don't know why you feel the blowhole.
19:34Ha.
19:35Ha.
19:36Why don't you just keep leaving it alone?
19:48Ha.
19:49Ha.
19:50Ha.
19:51Ha.
19:52Orca.
19:53The.
19:54Killer.
19:55The.
19:56Killer.
19:57Whale.
19:58Is.
19:59My.
20:00Best.
20:01Friend.
20:02He.
20:03Doesn't.
20:04Like.
20:05Anyone.
20:06Touching.
20:07His.
20:08Blowhole.
20:10So.
20:11I.
20:12Won't.
20:13Don't.
20:14Touch.
20:15It.
20:16No.
20:17No.
20:18No.
20:19No.
20:20I.
20:21Oh.
20:22Won't.
20:23You.
20:24Won't.
20:25Leave.
20:26It.
20:27Alone.
20:28Don't.
20:29Touch.
20:30My.
20:31Blow.
20:32Hole.
20:34Hole.
20:35Two words.
20:36No.
20:37Stop.
20:38Hold me right back for more of Who's Line.
20:40They find out go holes only one word.
20:44Welcome back to Who's Line is it anyway?
20:45We're gonna end the show tonight with Wayne and Chip reading the credits.
20:50We're gonna end the show tonight with, uh, Wayne and Chip reading the credits.
20:53And I want you to read the credits like two old vaudeville performers, two old vaudeville
20:57performers.
20:58Thanks for watching, everybody.
20:59Good night.
21:00See you next time.
21:01I remember a very young Dan Patterson.
21:02That's Brian Stiles.
21:03Dan Patterson.
21:04He would stop doing this.
21:06Watch out for my author.
21:07It's in the florist.
21:08Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:10Ladies and gentlemen, I've got the biggest color mockery in the world.
21:13Hey, is Mike here in healing yet?
21:15Oh!
21:16Oh!
21:17Oh!
21:18Oh!
21:19Please, watch out.
21:20Oh!
21:21Wait a second.
21:22I got Kenneth Shapiro.
21:23I thought so, yeah.
21:24Have you folks heard the one about Chris Dale?
21:26No, tell us about it.
21:27I don't know.
21:28I don't know.
21:29I'm just grabbing your home.
Recommended
21:42
|
Up next
21:36
21:35
21:35
21:37
21:35
21:34
21:40
21:35
21:34
21:45
21:46
21:40
21:36
22:06
21:33
22:06
22:05
21:33
21:45
21:45
21:33
21:33
21:46
21:36