- 4/26/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Lion Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, he's my best bud, Brad Sherwood.
00:09We go way back, way brainy.
00:11What a pal, Colin Mocherty.
00:13And security? Did someone call security?
00:16Brian Stiles!
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Garry. Come on, now let's have some fun.
00:26Whoa!
00:30Thank you and welcome to Who's Lion Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:35That's right, the points don't even exist.
00:37They're like royalty payments from Napster.
00:41You'll never see one.
00:42In the meantime, let's get the show started with a game called Weird Newscasters.
00:45For all four of you, Colin, you're going to be the anchor of a news show.
00:48Your co-anchor is Brad. Brad, you're the co-anchor.
00:51You're an aggressive, fire-and-brimstone televangelist.
00:55Sports Wayne.
00:57Oh.
00:58Yeah.
00:59You're a female dancer in a steamy rap video.
01:07Yeah, what did it say on the card, though?
01:08Yeah, by the way, uh...
01:11Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:12You're a 15-year-old gawky teenager practicing making out.
01:19Whatever you're doing is taking away, Colin Mocherty.
01:22Welcome to the 6 o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Thor Buttocks.
01:35Our top story today.
01:3960s musical group The Birds today announced a 24-city reunion tour with their new band member, George W. Bush.
01:49To save on money, Mr. Bush will play guitars and drums.
01:52According to a spokesman, a Bush in the band is worth two in the birds.
01:56And now over to our co-anchor, Jerry Chubilee.
02:06Jerry.
02:08Well, thank you, Thor.
02:09I greatly appreciate you turning over the news to me.
02:12Because it's time for us to find out about the traffic, which is very, very congested today.
02:17Because there are a lot of heathens on the road that did not look in the good book today.
02:21And if you would look at Leviticus 13, you would have seen that it said,
02:23Thou shalt smite the dragon.
02:24And the dragon shall be on the 405 today, jamming things up.
02:27Because there's a smog alert.
02:29And that smog is coming out of the nose of the dragon.
02:31And that dragon's name is Satan.
02:32And ye, ye shall pull over to the shoulder of the Lord.
02:35And rest there on the shoulder.
02:36And wait till the traffic has gone.
02:38Well, then you shall be free!
02:40You shall be free!
02:47Thank you, Jerry.
02:49And now over to sports with our sportswoman, Janice.
02:58Oh, I didn't know, see.
03:00Sports.
03:01I like some sports.
03:02Not because of all the games, but because of the music that goes along with it.
03:05In fact, instead of telling you about the football game,
03:07I'm gonna just show y'all.
03:08There was that man, he made that little pass over there.
03:10He went over there.
03:12And I was like, you need to get all on the side.
03:14Let me see the ball.
03:15He threw it.
03:16He threw that ball.
03:17He threw it!
03:18He threw that ball.
03:19He threw it!
03:20He threw that ball.
03:21He threw it!
03:22What did he do?
03:23He threw that ball.
03:24What did he do?
03:25He threw that ball.
03:26What did he want?
03:27Throw that ball!
03:28Throw that ball!
03:29Throw that ball!
03:32Get me gone, Devil Woman!
03:34You are the devil.
03:35You are the devil in the club.
03:36Oh, get me gone.
03:37Get me gone.
03:38Get me gone.
03:40I smite me.
03:41I smite me.
03:42Oh, get me gone.
03:43Oh, praise the Lord.
03:44Praise the Lord.
03:46I have been touched by the serpent, and the serpent is biting at my heels.
03:49Oh, Lord.
03:51Lord, give me the strength.
03:52Give me the strength, Lord.
03:55Praise the Lord.
03:56Oh, praise the Lord.
03:58I am surrounded by the liver.
03:59The liver has trapped me in his claws, Lord.
04:02I shall remain strong.
04:04I shall.
04:05I shall.
04:06I shall remain strong.
04:08I like big butts, and I can't lie.
04:14Back to you.
04:15Back to you.
04:17And the Dodgers lost.
04:19Now, over to weather with our new weatherman, Sparky Fennie.
04:25Sparky.
04:30Oh, I'm sorry.
04:31Um, some bad weather coming in.
04:35Got rain coming in later in the weekend.
04:38Just going to make things so wet.
04:51Sit off.
04:53Sit off.
04:56Give me the strength, Lord.
04:57Hey, where are you going?
05:05Don't go anywhere.
05:05I'm sorry.
05:06I'm sorry.
05:07I just...
05:08I just...
05:09I'm so sorry for that.
05:37Join us tomorrow for more of the 6 o'clock news.
05:40Hallelujah!
05:48Yeah!
05:53Okay, first of all, 1,000 points for Wayne.
05:55Where did you learn to do that?
05:57Where'd you pick that up?
05:59Homeschooling.
06:00Yeah.
06:00Yeah.
06:00And, uh, 2,000 points for Ryan for your wonderful impression of Bill Gates.
06:10I'm Microsoft.
06:14Now, we're going to go on a game called, uh, Doo-Wop.
06:17This is for, uh, Brad, Wayne, and Ryan.
06:19And you're going to be singing a song as a doo-wop group with the help of Laura Hall and
06:23Linda Taylor.
06:24You're going to help out.
06:24Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
06:27Learning from the audience is, uh, give me a manly profession.
06:34Trucker?
06:35That's a good one.
06:36Trucker.
06:37Trucker, let's do the doo-wop song.
06:39Do the trucker.
06:39Oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:48I'll do the truck, oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:52I'll do the truck, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:55Girl, oh, oh, oh.
06:57Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:00Listen, baby, you care how I feel.
07:03I've got to hit the open road on my 16 wheels.
07:06Oh, you can't stop me. Don't even try. I just graduated from DeVry.
07:20Well, just keep driving those 18 wheels and see how sleepy your eyelids feel.
07:28Well, make sure you don't drive and dream and always carry plenty of hemorrhoid cream.
07:35Oh, baby, I drive a truck. Oh, baby, it's just my luck.
07:48You know, baby, I think that I've been driving much too long.
07:54Now I sing this trucker song. Turns out every time now I stop, the sound I make is...
08:05I don't care. You're the trucker. The trucker.
08:10I do. It's the trucker.
08:15I do. It's the trucker.
08:20All right, that was great.
08:32We'll be right back with our Who's On.
08:33We'll be right back with this.
08:34It's all right.
08:40Welcome back to Who's On? Is It Anyway?
08:43Whoo!
08:45A show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
08:48That's right, the points are like the buffet.
08:50All right, let's go on to a game called Narrate.
08:58This is for Colin and Ryan.
08:59They're going to act out a film noir scene with some music we picked out for him.
09:02What we need from the audience is what do you think would be an unlikely place
09:06for a film noir scene?
09:08Bathroom.
09:09Circus.
09:10Oh, circus, that's even better.
09:12I was going to do dry cleaner.
09:14We're going to do circus.
09:15Let's do circus, so let's see the film noir scene set in the circus.
09:18I've been working on a case.
09:28During that case, a lion and a tiger have been set upon me, chewing me to bits.
09:34I thought maybe a circus would give me the answer I was looking for.
09:38I was looking for a freak.
09:40A tall, tall freak.
09:42Freaks, tigers, lions.
09:47It all added up to the circus.
09:49Excuse me.
09:50Yeah?
09:51Seen any tall freaks?
09:52Look, someone tried to kill me a couple of days ago.
09:53I think it was you.
09:54It wasn't me.
09:55Why are you blaming me?
09:55I knew he was going to blame me for everything.
09:56Probably even that elephant dung he was standing in right at the moment.
09:59If I could do him that big, I'd be a proud man.
10:03Look, why can't we let bygones be bygones?
10:19You tried to kill me, and now I'm going to return the favor.
10:31It was then I realized I had nothing to kill him with.
10:36But then the dung gave me an idea.
10:40But then I got rid of that idea and came up with a better one.
10:44Look, I won't kill you if you write me a good act.
10:49I want to get back on the top again, and you were the best clown writer ever.
10:52Until the sword swallowing thing went bad.
10:56Sorry.
11:01Lucky he didn't know my true identity as Bobo the Clown.
11:04I guess he didn't spot the zipper on the hood I wear over my head.
11:09I hope he's not listening.
11:12I was listening.
11:16But I'd already noticed the zipper.
11:18I didn't need him talking about it.
11:20Zip!
11:25Okay, this was different.
11:27I wasn't expecting this.
11:29When a man has two large bass attached to his ears,
11:33you just don't know what to do next.
11:37I'm not kidding!
11:39I don't know what to do next!
11:43I'm not kidding!
11:44I don't know what to do next!
11:53A thousand points to each of you for saying everything I was thinking.
11:56Yo!
11:57Let's go to the game called Greatest Hits!
12:01Yes!
12:02This is for everybody, Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
12:05Everybody, everybody, everybody, Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
12:08Ryan and Colin are salesmen on an infomercial type show,
12:11talking about the latest compilation album they're trying to sell.
12:14Brad and Wayne are going to sing the songs that these guys make up for them.
12:17And what I want to know from the audience is a suggestion of what you wanted to be when you grew up.
12:26Beekeeper!
12:28Good one.
12:29Beekeeper.
12:30Let's do Songs of the Beekeeper.
12:32Let's hear about that album.
12:33Take it away, guys.
12:34Hey, Carl.
12:35What do you usually do when you hear the sound?
12:37I go like this.
12:38Oh, no!
12:39I'm allergic!
12:40Very good impression.
12:41Okay.
12:42I have to sell the CD now.
12:43You know, we've got Songs of the Beekeeper, and what a lonely profession it is, really.
12:56Songs of the Beekeeper.
12:58We have 4,000 songs on 4,000 CDs.
13:03They're very, very long songs.
13:08But we've condensed them for the purpose of selling this CD set.
13:11I didn't know any of that.
13:13You know...
13:14Oh!
13:17What comes to mind when I say the word ska?
13:20Sandpaper.
13:26Because that's the sound you make when you scrape wood.
13:28Ska.
13:29Ska.
13:30No, no, Carl.
13:31I'm talking about the music style ska.
13:34Never heard of it.
13:36And no, it's not a hair-lipped crow, either.
13:39You know...
13:41Ska music has given us many great hits, including that number one hit that was on the top of
13:47the charts for over 15 weeks, Hornets, Yellowjackets, and Wasp.
13:51If the voiceover wasp.
13:52Oh!
13:58Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
14:14by yellow jackets, hornets and some wasps.
14:17The taste you all around, you'll dive in the lake.
14:19You'll have all the things that you can take.
14:21And the hornets, the yellow jackets, and the wasps.
14:25The yellow jackets, the hornets, and the yellow jackets.
14:28And the wasps, the wasps.
14:30All the hornets want, all the hornets want.
14:35All the hornets want, all the hornets want.
14:37All the hornets want.
14:39Whee!
14:44You know, that song's right at the end of one of the CDs,
14:51so it kind of ends abruptly.
14:53But it is B-related.
14:55It is.
14:56You know, as you know, I like to live life on the edge.
14:59My house is on the edge of a cliff,
15:00and I drive a car from Argentina.
15:06Lost my train of thought there.
15:09But I've always been a fan of the alternative music.
15:12Have you?
15:12Yes.
15:13A flan?
15:13A flan?
15:14A nice...
15:15Because it's nice to eat while you're listening to music.
15:17Yes, it is.
15:18A nice flan to get rid of that celluloid.
15:20Scat.
15:22Anyway, one of my favorite alternative bands is Green Day.
15:26Oh.
15:27They're from your hometown, aren't they?
15:28I don't know.
15:29Where am I from?
15:30Well, I'm just a little flower.
15:31I don't know what I'm naming.
15:37I've got a pistol, and look at me.
15:38I'm just a little flower.
15:39I don't know what I'm naming.
15:40related, is grabbing my pollen.
15:52Well, I'm just a little flower.
15:55I don't know what I'm naming.
15:57I've got a pistol, and look at me.
15:59I've got a real shapely stamen.
16:02Bees are always coming around,
16:05trying to get my pollen.
16:07But they don't know.
16:09You see all my petals, they have pollen.
16:12They want my pollen.
16:15Pollen.
16:17They want my pollen.
16:20They want it.
16:21They're gonna get it, baby.
16:28Pollen.
16:28Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:32Yeah.
16:34Did you understand?
16:36Understand.
16:37How bees carry pollen.
16:38They put it in little sacks on their legs.
16:42Put it in little sacks on their legs.
16:45On their legs.
16:53Put it on their legs.
16:55Put it on their legs.
16:55You know, some people think that song's repetitive, but I did learn that bees put pollen in their legs.
17:09Oh, Seattle, Washington.
17:13You know...
17:14And, of course, growing up in the wonderful town of Seattle, we listened to a lot of country music.
17:28And, you know, we would get out there and square dance in that big state every day of the week.
17:34And no square dance song was more popular to me than that famous one, Whack the Hive.
17:40Whack the Hive.
17:43Yee-haw!
17:44Woo!
17:45Woo-hoo!
17:46If you ever get out alive, all you gotta do is whack the hive.
17:51Stick with salmon, juke and dive.
17:52All you gotta do...
17:53Whack the hive!
17:54Everybody, come on home.
17:55Give yourself a honeycomb.
17:56Come on, whack the hive and have some fun.
17:57ìž–ì•„ìš”!
17:58Yeah!
17:59Mm!
18:00Yeah!
18:01Woo!
18:02And I understand diiiis.
18:04Man, you got to...
18:06Take a stick and whack the hive.
18:07Like a darn pinata...
18:08,oh, come on, come on, come on,
18:10Don't leave no bees alive!
18:12All you wanna do is...
18:13Whack the hive!
18:14Whack the hive!
18:15Whack the Hive!
18:16Whack the old carrals!
18:17All they up...
18:18All you gotta do is you can dive.
18:21Come on down and run and ring.
18:22You ain't gonna get a stink.
18:24Run and ring you ain't gonna get a thing all you gotta do is
18:46Thanks winner Wayne Brady
18:48and we have a new rule here where the winner gets to just lay around while the rest of us work
18:53and uh we're gonna do a game for you called props can we have our props please i'm gonna give you
18:57your props this for me and ryan yeah it's for me and ryan and go get your props this is for brad and
19:03colleen yeah and what we're gonna do is we have to go back and forth and think of as many funny
19:07things as we can with these props as fast as we can and wayne's gonna buzz us in between starting
19:10with uh brad and colin hey look it's a school of banana sharks
19:18up time to get to work yep
19:23i remember in 1941 it was a long ago
19:33ricola
19:37uh honey can you pop that for me
19:41don't back up severe tire damage severe tire damage
19:45oh homer
19:51i have a complaint about my haircut
20:02uh cheshire cat party one cheshire cat
20:05well you never go home with your left
20:15i don't know what it is but it went right through me
20:20give a table for jeff goldblum
20:21is he here
20:29how do we solve a problem like maria
20:31can we please turn up the heat
20:35okay we're right back
20:49with colin reading the credits for you colin i want you to read the credits uh
20:53like you're on a rooftop shouting out why you're going to jump
20:57thanks for watching we'll see you next time on whose line is it anyway
20:59i'm jumping because you're making me read the credits
21:06that's right all of you bruce cowers you broke my heart
21:10ruth phillips you know why i'm jumping
21:12all very funny birds thank you viet richmond i'm going to make sure i jump on you you big tall
21:22Let's go, Scoops.
21:24Stay here.
21:25Big time for everything.
21:26You guys better.
21:28Come on.
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