MJTV: Does Roxanne Have Low Blood Sugar?

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Larry, do you have any orange juice?

00:02Can I just have a little glass of orange juice?

00:03My blood sugar.

00:07So, before you guys walked in,

00:09Fester, you just walked in, Froggy,

00:10these two bozos,

00:12they have the tendency to literally walk in

00:14as the MJ morning show open goes,

00:16da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

00:18We were grandfathered into that

00:20from the old show.

00:21What does that mean?

00:22I want the first words that we share with each other

00:25to be the words that all of the listeners hear.

00:26Yeah, see, I don't want to talk to you guys.

00:28What do you mean you're grandfathered into walking in

00:32as the MJ morning, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

00:36The investor have looked at your grill for 20 years,

00:38and we deserve a little time to ourselves before the show.

00:42All right, before you two ass monkeys walked in here.

00:44Hmm, ass monkey.

00:46He's complimenting us this morning.

00:48I'll take it.

00:49Roxanne shared with me,

00:51hey, you ever feel a little low blood sugary?

00:56Yeah.

00:57And I'm like, no.

00:59I'd like you to have your finger on the pulse

01:02of what I'm feeling.

01:03Like, when I come in, I want you to know,

01:05yeah, I do need to eat something.

01:06Roxanne just said to me,

01:07I think I need to go get some oatmeal

01:09because I'm feeling wobbly.

01:12I'm feeling collapsing.

01:14You put an E at the end of everything you're feeling?

01:17Yeah, it was.

01:17It was very E.

01:18It's very scientific.

01:19Yeah, exactly.

01:20Very medically.

01:21Feeling sickly.

01:22So, were you in danger of, like, fainting?

01:27Or, you know, when I think of low blood sugar,

01:30what I think of somebody that has, you know,

01:32what is it, a low energy level,

01:34or as you called it, low.

01:36I think of people that are in danger

01:38of potentially fainting or, you know, falling down.

01:41Yeah, but I just slapped myself the whole way to work.

01:43So, I had a very diabetic aunt.

01:45Yeah, diabetic.

01:46She would always say, I have low blood sugar.

01:48Exactly.

01:48And she would, like, suck a lozenge.

01:51That's what she would do.

01:52She would have, like, those little mints in her pocket.

01:53Right.

01:54And she'd say, okay.

01:55I feel better.

01:57It's like Paul Blart needed candy.

01:59Or my aunt would say to my father, Larry,

02:00do you have any orange juice?

02:02Can I just have a little glass of orange juice?

02:04My blood sugar.

02:05My blood sugar is really low.

02:07When you said Larry, that reminds me of my parents.

02:09My parents like the Costanzas.

02:12If you hear, Larry!

02:15Last night, I was on the phone with my dad.

02:17My dad's 79.

02:18My mom's 76.

02:19And dad has a Hulu plan,

02:21like some family plan where he can have all these accounts.

02:24Don't you grift off it?

02:25Well, no.

02:25Well, he called me up and said,

02:27hey, I want to add you to my Hulu plan,

02:29which, listen, I'm fine with that.

02:30I don't need to pay for all these damn streaming services.

02:32I mean, you know, I've got Netflix I pay for.

02:34I pay for HBO, so I get HBO Max.

02:37What else do I, you know?

02:38I couldn't find Dexter last night.

02:40What is that on?

02:41Dexter is on Showtime.

02:43Oh, I've got to get that done.

02:45Yeah, I haven't even started watching that yet

02:46because I just have too much.

02:47It's on Hulu, too.

02:48Well, I'm sure they do.

02:49So I have HBO and Showtime as part of my cable bundle,

02:53so I have access to the...

02:55So I have Dexter's recorded on my DVR,

02:58you know, non-volatile, so they don't erase.

03:00So I've got to catch up.

03:01I just finished...

03:02You know, I'm caught up on Succession, finally.

03:04This past weekend, I caught up on Succession.

03:06Michelle hates that show.

03:07She can't stand it, so...

03:09Anybody in the room want to trade a Hulu password

03:11for an HBO Max password?

03:12No, no, no.

03:12Yes.

03:13I'm not doing that.

03:14So legitimately, I'm on my dad's account

03:16because my dad's allowed to have X number of accounts.

03:19Are you still on his car insurance, too?

03:21No, I'm not.

03:22What about his medical insurance?

03:23You're being a wise-ass over there?

03:25Yeah, I'd like to add my son to 56.

03:26You're being all wise-assy over there.

03:29So I was on the phone with my parents last night

03:32because suddenly the Hulu thing stopped working.

03:36It's like your credit card information's expired or whatever,

03:39and I just helped my dad update his credit card information

03:42like a month or two ago.

03:43It's like, what is going on here?

03:45So I had to get a hold of my dad,

03:47and Michelle and I were, you know,

03:49we're in the middle of, what, season six of Hill Street Blues.

03:52We watched all of the Hill Street Blues from the beginning,

03:55and we have time to sit down last night,

03:58and I'm going to do some little show prep

03:59and laptop in my lap, put Hill Street on,

04:02and credit card failure.

04:04So I have to call my dad up, and he's sleeping,

04:07and then I have to wait an hour for him to wake up

04:09from his nap at 8 o'clock last night.

04:11I'm tired.

04:12And then my mom is like, Larry!

04:15And then, you know, seriously,

04:17it sounds like the Costanzas back and forth.

04:20Serenity now!

04:21Serenity!

04:22So finally, I get my dad's credit card information hooked up,

04:25and we're good to go.

04:26I think he changed his zip code or something.

04:28I don't know what the billing zip code.

04:30So shut down.

04:32All right.

04:32So that's what my parents sound like the Costanzas.

04:35Absolutely.

04:36Well, my aunt sounds like the sister of Mr. Costanza

04:39looking for some orange juice to alleviate a low blood sugar.

04:42Well, and that's why I said, when you said, Larry,

04:45it's like, that's exactly what my mom sounds like.

04:47Larry!

04:48Todd's on the phone!

04:49Larry!

04:49Wake up!

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