MJTV: Where are Fester and Roxanne?

Beasley Digital

4/22/2025

Transcript

00:00And then, Roxanne, any idea?

00:03I don't know.

00:05This is the...

00:07I've got no Roxanne right here right now.

00:12I think Roxanne's going to be out tomorrow and Friday.

00:15There's no indication that they're even close to being here either.

00:19It's literally dead on their side of the room.

00:21I mean, it's blank spaces.

00:23Hey, Coop, can you show the cameras over?

00:26Do we have cricket sound effects, maybe?

00:28Normally, Fester would be like,

00:30oh, hey, can you just put my headphones in the studio if he's running late?

00:33And he hasn't even texted me that.

00:34Nothing, huh?

00:34Nothing.

00:35All right, so you control the cameras, right?

00:37Yes.

00:38All right, show Fester's position and, whoop, nothing.

00:42And trust me, you can't miss Fester.

00:44He fills up the frame.

00:46Really does.

00:47You know what?

00:48Because of the cold weather,

00:49he might be congregating at the power plant with his friends.

00:52Oh, it is cold.

00:53Maybe all of his little, the manna family got together.

00:57Hey, Fester, what's up?

01:00Fester's with the manatees at the power plant at the observation area.

01:05And then, Roxanne, any idea?

01:10I don't know.

01:12This is them.

01:13What, do I have a whole variety of crickets?

01:16Yeah, you do, actually.

01:18So I get to pick a cricket?

01:20Is that it?

01:21Yeah, you get to pick a cricket.

01:22I'm going to pick cricket cellular.

01:25I'm going to cancel my Verizon.

01:27I'm going to get cricket cellular.

01:29All right.

01:30Oh, here's Fester.

01:31Fester's walking on in.

01:33There he is.

01:33That's great.

01:35Wearing his mask all half-assed in here.

01:37Look at that.

01:37Unlike Froggy, who's not wearing it at all.

01:39So don't jump on my case.

01:40So where have you been?

01:42I'm glad you asked.

01:44Ah, there's the other one.

01:45I'm glad.

01:46Oh, and here comes Roxanne.

01:48Roxanne just...

01:49Did you guys have a little powwow?

01:50So hang on, let me turn Roxanne's mic on.

01:54I am built for speed today because I'm going to be running through airports, so I was running

01:59into work today.

02:00Wow, you're like O.J. Simpson.

02:02Yeah.

02:02Yeah, you can be like O.J. Simpson in that old rental car commercial.

02:06Yeah.

02:06Yeah, then you can, like, slice the necks off a couple of neighbors.

02:10I mean, if you want to do that.

02:11That's what you can do.

02:12All right, so, Fester, you said, I'm glad you asked, I guess, in reference to my question

02:18about why the hell you're running late.

02:19By the way, we tossed in a manatee joke.

02:22That gives...

02:22When Fester says, I'm glad you asked, I've noticed that that gives him the time to think

02:27of an answer.

02:28It's almost like Hulk Hogan when he used to go, well, you know what, brother?

02:32And then that gives him the time to think because he's not quite quick enough.

02:35You know what?

02:36That's sort of a thing that people do.

02:37If you notice when people say, can I be honest with you?

02:42Or can I tell you the truth?

02:43There are all kinds of stall phrases instead of just getting right into it, you know?

02:49Well, here's the thing, dude.

02:51Let me tell you.

02:52Give me a whole string.

02:54Give me a bunch of them back to back.

02:55Well, let me tell you there, Mean Gene.

02:57It's a good question.

02:58I'm glad you asked.

03:00So, well, there's a lot of things going through my mind right now.

03:05Let me tell you what it is.

03:06Let me tell you what I'm thinking.

03:07I've been thinking about this for a while.

03:09It's been laying on my mind, Mean Gene, for a long time.

03:13Are you going to mock me like a wrestler?

03:15Is that what you're trying to say?

03:16I'll tell you what, Mean Gene.

03:17Let me get down to the basic facts here, and I'll get to them in just a minute.

03:20But let me tell you.

03:21Not one question has been answered yet.

03:23It's all just filler and stall phrases.

03:26Posturing.

03:27Which faster is very good at being an RV salesman and all that.

03:29Listen, that's a great question.

03:31All right.

03:33Glad you brought that up.

03:35Glad you asked.

03:35All right.

03:36So.

03:36Yeah.

03:37You're doing it again.

03:38All right.

03:39So.

03:40Now Roxanne's postponing me.

03:42So on the bridge this morning, driving over, there were two police officers.

03:47So I was, listen, I had it down to the minute to get to work.

03:50I was like, okay, I'm going to get there.

03:52That's your problem.

03:52That's good.

03:53I've asked you not to walk into the studio when the show open music is wrapping up,

03:58and it's da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

04:01I've asked you not to walk in on the last note.

04:05I've asked you to be here and just be situated.

04:07Correct.

04:07Yes.

04:08So my plan to get here would have gotten me here at least 30 or 45 seconds before the

04:13music ever even started.

04:15However, a couple of unfortunate or possibly fortunate events happened this morning in

04:21my preparation to leave the house for the show, which moved my time delay.

04:25Like, for example.

04:26I don't have a lot of time here.

04:28This is just the opening segment.

04:29So what is it?

04:29It was a long answer, and you asked the question, which I'm glad you asked.

04:32How long he's taking to get to the answer?

04:33Tell me the answer.

04:34Okay.

04:35So at 5.04 in the morning, question.

04:38Do you get dressed and run out the house, or do you shower, get dressed, and run out

04:43the house?

04:44So I was like, you know what?

04:47Let's shower today.

04:48Oh, you're smelling ripe?

04:49Gave myself a nice shower.

04:50And I'm like, holy guacamole.

04:52It's 5.24.

04:54Why were you running late in the first place?

04:55Why do you just plan on getting up and getting to work on time?

04:58Right.

04:59So I boogie out of the house right at 5.30.

05:01Would have gotten here right at 5.54.

05:03Would have been an employee of the month.

05:05MJ, this is a big moment.

05:06And then I'm on the bridge, where that's usually, you know what the bridge is.

05:10The bridge is like, you know, the rocket lane.

05:12I would have made up all lost time.

05:14In the 5 o'clock hour, the bridge moves.

05:16Right.

05:16The bridge, average speed is 80 miles an hour on the bridge in the 5 o'clock hour.

05:20No doubt.

05:20Except.

05:21You can bump draft during this time in the morning.

05:23Yeah, right.

05:23Yeah, you're absolutely right.

05:24And there's the Pinellas County SUV behind me the entire way on the bridge.

05:31Yeah, you know what?

05:31I saw him.

05:32There's a Pinellas County, a big suburban.

05:35Yeah.

05:36Pinellas County Sheriff's Suburban.

05:38I've seen him on the bridge.

05:39He was flying this morning.

05:40He must live in Hillsboro and drives to Pinellas.

05:44But he's not going to pull anybody over on the Hillsboro.

05:48He might pull you over on the Pinellas side.

05:49But listen, he wants to get through.

05:51I've seen.

05:51Just race on the Hillsboro side when you get to Pinellas.

05:54I've seen cars fly by him.

05:56He's never pulled anybody over.

05:58But the little anxiety of having him behind you slowed me down several miles an hour.

06:02Unless.

06:03Two minutes late.

06:04Fester with anxiety.

06:06You don't want to get it busted for too much liquid in your blinker.

06:09Speaking of anxiety.

06:10Speaking of anxiety.

MJTV: Where are Fester and Roxanne?

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