MJTV: Roxanne's Experiment on MJ Gets Exposed by Fester

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Wait, hold on.

00:01Now that MJ knows.

00:03I just dumped that.

00:04You know, I'm not going to let that in.

00:07I can't.

00:07I just dumped that.

00:09Stop.

00:10I'm shutting your mic off, Fester.

00:12I'm quitting this break.

00:16I recorded this promo yesterday.

00:18Now, Roxanne, did you hear my daily promo?

00:20Because I cut a promo after every show.

00:23I cut a little promo about something that's coming up the next day.

00:26And here we are the next day.

00:28I try not to listen to you after we leave.

00:31Good call.

00:32Good call.

00:33So I recorded this yesterday.

00:35Listen.

00:35Will it pass the smell test?

00:38What you talking about, MJ?

00:40Tomorrow morning, 745.

00:43Find out.

00:44MJ Morning Show here on Q105.

00:46All right.

00:46So I recorded that promo yesterday.

00:47It ran during the day after the morning show.

00:50And, of course, I dropped it with the whole little different strokes and facts of life, live stage thing.

00:55The other night on ABC.

00:57I thought I'd drop in a, what are you talking about, MJ?

00:59Very timely and cutting edge.

01:01I thought it was.

01:01I thought it was very, very timely.

01:03But it has nothing to do with Willis.

01:05Now, Roxanne, if I say the smell test, does that ring a bell?

01:12Do you have any idea maybe what I'm getting at if I say, Roxanne, tell me about the smell test?

01:17If you're trying to bring up the photo again that Fester outed me with my armpit stain, I don't really appreciate that.

01:26And you can smell my armpits and they smell good, even if they're sweaty.

01:29I don't know if you're playing coy here.

01:30I don't know what you're doing.

01:32But let me give you another word.

01:35Yeah.

01:35The smell test.

01:36Mm-hmm.

01:36Perfume?

01:40Oh, look.

01:42I saw your face there.

01:46Now you know what I'm talking about.

01:48Yeah.

01:48And there was only one person in this room who knew about that.

01:52Yeah.

01:52It was me.

01:53The turncoat.

01:54Okay.

01:54First of all, what a rat turncoat.

01:57What year is this?

01:58I love it.

01:59What is the smell test?

02:00What a rat.

02:01All right.

02:01So, what's today?

02:03Today's Friday.

02:03Unbelievable.

02:04Roxanne comes to me on Tuesday.

02:06And she comes up with her little bubbly voice.

02:08She says, hey, Fester, I want to apologize in advance.

02:11I gave you a courtesy warning.

02:12I go, okay, for what?

02:13She says, I want to apologize in case I start spelling a little bit too much.

02:17Because MJ commented, and you did comment either late last week or early this week.

02:21I've commented a bunch of times, and it came up again recently twice, how I hate like Yankee

02:27Candle and Bath and Body Works.

02:30I just can't take the scents, all the odors.

02:33It's like, it's an olfactory assault of all of the smells from these perfume places, these

02:39scented candle places.

02:40I can't take it.

02:41You're a super sniffer, an olfactory superhero.

02:44It just overwhelms me, and I get all, I get all, it's like, it stuffs, I hate it.

02:49It gives me a headache.

02:50So, Roxanne decides that she's going to launch the smell test on me?

02:54In the year or so that I've sat next to Roxanne in this chair, she's always been very modest

02:57with her perfume.

02:58But she said, I'm going to spray an additional squirt of perfume on me, on her.

03:04Every day.

03:04Every day until MJ notices.

03:06So, I would, of course, notice at first because I'm closer in proximity, and she was apologizing

03:10for that.

03:11And I thought this was ridiculous because Wednesday, she's like, I did two squirts today.

03:16And then yesterday morning, she's like, I did three squirts.

03:19And I'm like, he's never going to notice this.

03:21Because I've said I don't like heavily perfumed individuals.

03:25I commented on the old woman that worked with us over at FLZ.

03:29She was in the business office.

03:30And she used to come in and get the commercial logs every morning from the previous day.

03:34And she, like, bathed.

03:36And I couldn't breathe.

03:37I would, like, go into respiratory arrest.

03:39So, you're...

03:40How about that cigar douche?

03:43He used to smell...

03:44Oh, stop it.

03:44He smelled like cigar and aqua velvet.

03:46I'm a good friend of him.

03:47Oh, whatever.

03:48Ever since I went through his wall and he said, these airplanes cost more than your life.

03:53Screw you.

03:54Just as you're friends with somebody, you don't mean Froggy.

03:56That's right.

03:56Froggy once went through the wall of Cigar Dave's office.

04:01And Cigar Dave hated Froggy ever since.

04:03And then Froggy calls him...

04:04Don't call my friend Dave names.

04:06But he wears a lot of cologne.

04:08Like, you could smell him a mile away.

04:10So, you're up to how many squirts?

04:11I'm up to four sprays.

04:13You watch it for us.

04:14Yeah.

04:14And I even tried to whoosh by you this morning when I came in.

04:17I tried to whoosh when I went by and put your papers nearby you.

04:20Well, guess what?

04:21It's over.

04:22It's exposed.

04:23Yeah, but guess what?

04:24I'm going to go up to five on Monday.

04:25How many squirts are you up to right now?

04:27She just said four.

04:28Okay.

04:28She's up to four squirts of perfume.

04:30I'm kind of downwind from you because there's the vent up above you and it's, like, pushing air away

04:35from you.

04:35It hasn't bothered me yet.

04:37Okay, well, it's...

04:39I don't smell you at all.

04:40I mean, your squirts must be modest.

04:42So, now that you're outed for your squirts...

04:45Wait, hold on.

04:46Now that MJ knows...

04:48All right, I just dumped that.

04:50You know...

04:50Fester...

04:51I'm not going to let that...

04:52I can't...

04:52All right, I just dumped that.

04:54Just stop.

04:55Stop.

04:56All right, I'm shutting your mic off, Fester.

04:57I'm quitting this break.

04:59Anyway, if you want to...

05:00If you want to continue...

05:01If you have four squirts of perfume and it's not bothering me yet,

05:05if you want to continue on Monday with five...

05:07And I'll let you know when it becomes bothersome.

05:09Okay, because I love science experiments and I love to annoy you.

05:13That's great.

05:14All right.

05:14All right, ladies and gentlemen...

05:16This is science.

05:17All right, coming up next...

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